Bananas - Funny news from around the world with Scotty Landes and Kurt BraunohlerPart time Bananas employee/full time human Lisa Magid joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about the Japanese astronaut who hated space, jump rope pro saves neighbor and dog from drowning with jump rope and scientists are trying to figure out why all hockey players sound Canadian!
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All right, Scott, you ready, Cratty, I'm ready to laugh and laugh and love. Oh.
I have so many good ones. I just don't know what to start with. This is so good. All right here it is mm hmm. Meet Akayama Toyohiro, the Japanese astronaut who hated space.
Yeah, my guy, my guy. He's out there. But get in here. We're listening to the Bananas Podcast. We're the Banana Boys. You're here. It's real, it's happening right now.
World. Would you believe.
Your mind?
Jozillion pieces?
Would you banana?
Banana Guys, Goals, non binary pass Welcome to Bananas.
I'm Kurt Brown Oler.
I am Banana boy number two Scotti Landis. Thank you all very much for just taking time out of your busy lives, your stressful moments, and checking out the silliest little podcast there ever was. We call Bananas. It's strange news, it's storytelling. We just like to have a good time.
Sorry, Chicago, I'm doing stand up Inside you March e May eighth, May eighth, May eighth at the at the at the Den, So please go get your tickets for that. And also I'll be in Asbery Park the day before, and I'll be in Cincinnati, Ohio the day after that, so go get them in Scottie and I will, of course March twenty ninth, be in Phoenix, Arizona.
Yes we will. I'm gonna drink Margarita's before, I'm gonna drink vodka Sota's during, and I'm gonna drink I don't know what after, but it's gonna be a very fun live show. If you've never seen us live, we just try to bring a lot of good energy and we hope you do too. Bring a friends, I never heard of the pod. They'll love it.
They will love it. And of course we are here today. We're here today a very special guest. You know her, you love her. She's a full human. She is not used to be our intern. She is now the only part time employee of The Bananas Podcast. We are so happy to have her. Please welcome to the show for her own full episode. Lisa Maggot.
Everyone, thank you, thanks for having me here.
It is Lisa. We did say nols. Lisa Maggot, the Big Three, the iconoclass of entertainment, and we're so lucky to have you.
How is your day in New York? City, Lisa, my day was good.
It's a little wet same here.
Yeah, oh really, it's a rainy day episode of Bananas. That's what this is going to be. I hope it's raining where you are. It's okay that it's raining. Put this on, you know what I put on. I put on a little Miles Davis when it's raining, but instead put on the Bananas podcast.
All right, Lisa, you respond to our DM sometimes on Instagram. How do you rate the Banana bananimals? Do you enjoy interacting with them?
I love the bananimals.
They have always been so nice and so funny, send great articles in and sometimes just set like share personal things that it's really a lot and it's very touching a lot of times. And they love you guys, basically is what a lot of it is is them telling you how great you both are. And I of course don't tell you about it, because you know, I don't want to play too much.
You don't need to know.
It's yeah, it's it's too much, but it's great. I love speaking with the fans one myself.
Well, that's very kind. You do a great job at it. Yes, they are wildly supportive and loving bunch and thanks for always responding with such care and grace.
So we're gonna do. Do you want to get into this story because I'm very excited to tell you about this astronaut, Lisa.
I would love to hear about an astronaut who doesn't care for space.
This was in IFL Science, my favorite. I first found out about this from depths of Wikipedia. Shout out to depths of Wikipedia.
So good.
It's such a good Instagram account, just go follow it. And this was the bizarre story of Japan's first astronaut. This was written by Tom Hale. Tom A lot of people say. There's one thing people say about Tom. You know what it is.
I've heard that he is the maybe the best to medium best in the business. But I'm gonna say that that is correct.
It is here.
It is. The image of an astronaut is somewhere between an action man and a short back in sides Air Force trained engineering school prodigy. But then there is Japan's first man in space, light years away from any such stereotypes. Toyo hero Akiyama was the unlikely chained smoking journalist who ended up taking a trip to the Soviet space station Mirror while his name might not be in many history books. I think I said it backwards. Oh my god, Akiyama Toyo hero is how it's in one article and in this article it's Tokyo Hero Akiyama. Okay, so it's one of the other. I'm confused. So the obscure piece of space history begins. In nineteen eighty nine, the Cold War was cooling and Japan was enjoying a bubble era of economic excess. Now the USSR was sinking in Japan's fortunes were rising. The Tokyo Broadcast System TBS. Did you guys know that TV? This was the Tokyo Broadcasting System TBS.
I love those impractical jokers characters.
Welcome dreamed up a crazy ploy to celebrate and promote the station's fortieth anniversary. The plan involved a publicity stunt of epic proportions, one that could have only occurred in the transitory turn of the nineteen nineties. By nineteen eighty nine, Gorbachev was still on his way to disarming the USSR. Soviet unions lozi ba b b b bah. This is why. It's just because the Zovie unions having tough time with United States blessing. The TBS paid, and I want everyone to imagine it's our TBS who's doing this.
Yeah, turn Broadcast Systems or whatever.
Yes, TBS paid one point five billion yen, which was ten million dollars to send a journalist up to the Mere space station for a TV show called all right here I go. I'm gonna try it nihon jin hatsu akui e loosely translated as first Japanese space A mad idea, but then again, this was the TV company that commissioned and aired Tukeshi's Castle. Ah. Yes, not only would this be I tried to show. I tried to show the moving castle to to to my kids, the one where it's like their parents turn into like slovenly pigs at the at the eating bar. Do you guys know what I'm talking about?
I do? Actually yeah yeah.
And right when the like the parents became slovenly pigs and didn't recognize them both my kids were like, can we turn this off?
Yeah? I could see why.
So not only would this be the first Japanese citizen space, it would also be the first journalist in space. So to land this history defining role TBS and the Soviets decided to, said the forty seven year old salary man Tellyo a hero. Akiyama, a TV journalist who had never ever muttered a word of Russian. Akaiyama worked as a reporter during the Vietnam War. Even i'd started working for the BBC in London, however, experience of space was limited through the just to the lens of the media. Yeah, like you or.
Me, like one of the three of us, just plucked out of obscurity and sent into space.
Exactly before this, his most strenuous exercise was said to be lifting his cigarette to his mouth. God. Nevertheless, Akayama spent over a year at Star City Cosmonaut training village, undergoing medical checks, lectures, and physical training. So he actually he actually quit smoking for four months to do this because he was a he loved to smoke.
I'm getting a little bit of an Armageddon vibe here from this.
This is ya, it really is. But see this is the reality. Armageddon would happen if someone needed to do like a publicity stunt. But Armageddon would it happened if we needed to divert an asteroid from hitting us.
I feel like it also, I wonder how much of him hating space is him not being able to smoke cigarettes in space. I bet it's like twenty percent.
The first thing he says when he lands is how is space? And he said, I can't wait to smoke?
So addictive? They are so addictive. He can look at the Earth from space and he's like, this sucks. This would be better with a American Spirit cigarette.
So he takes off in Asoya's TM eleven spacecraft, accompanied by cosmonauts, these two cosmonauts, six cameramen, and a Japannite Japanese toy mascot. When they reached the Mir space station, his two colleagues reported that they quote had never ever seen a man vomit that much.
He also.
Constantly complained that he felt his head was going to pop up from the pressure. There's some ripped footage that you can see on YouTube if you want to go watch it. Blah blah blah blah blah blah.
There was like this guy a pond Kurt Is. Was he a pawn in a political exercise? Is that what we're saying is like they were like, we're going to send a journalist up and.
He was a real journalist.
He just picked this guy like.
Yeah, he landed. He said he wanted to have a smoke, and then this was like a huge deal in Japan for the Japanese and or the tobacco industry because it was at the time, in nineteen eighty nine, smoking was on the rise.
Yeah, this was a big tobacco sponsored thing.
I think his was, Yeah, this is Lake Mason.
He retired as a journalist in nineteen ninety five, so only six years after this, so he was he was like almost done working. This was like one of his final hurrahs, and used his retirement payoff to buy a farm near Fukushima, unfortunately, leaving behind his career, his family and his friends in Tokyo. What he left behind his family, maybe he didn't have kids, Okay, still nuts. But Akima's brush with history came again with the Japanese earthquake and the Fukushima nuclear meltdown in twenty eleven. As a result of the disaster, he had to abandon the simple life. Now, he teaches agriculture at Kyoto University of Art and Design, with an intensely philosophical view of environmentalism and a deeply skeptical outlook on modern industrial agriculture to give one last blow to the sinking Soviet ship. The Western media reported him to be just a hapless, forty a day whiskey swilling idiot, like a Woody Allen character, neurotically bumping around space. However, his reflections on his time in space truly cement that he was never the space Jester character he was made out to be. Oh, I see, yeah, so he was like made out to be just like an idiot. But then he says some really beautiful stuff. He said. This is what he said when about his time in space. As I watched the Earth from four hundred klomway, I looked back on the history of mankind and thought about the repetition of activities that helped us grow to now number seven billion people. What is the most basic human activity? Eating? I wondered, How seriously I had thought about the act of eating or growing things that we eat. How do farmers think about the food they grow? I felt I couldn't die with having some basic knowledge about these things. And what still struck me as impressive was the shining blue Earth, which looked like one form of life floating in the universe. At the same time, I was reminded of the thinness of the blue layer the atmosphere. Such a thin atmosphere protects every living thing forest, fish, trees, birds, insects, human beings and everything. Wow, there it is.
This is a rainy day episode of gasses.
This is right, it's a rainy episode of bananas. It might be raining out. It's better than space.
Folks gain perspective, which is kind of what you would hope somebody would looking down at right Earth. Wow, Kurt, you want to go to space? Lisa, do you want to go to space?
No?
You have the option?
No, no way, too scared much too chicken.
Cool space hotel that can rotate. You don't want to go float around a jacuzzie, Float out of a jacuzzi, into the ceiling, back into the chase the water around the room.
Yeah, that that does sound fun.
If the if you knock me out and like brought me up there, I'd be pleased to be there, But I'm not gonna I'm not going to fly.
It's too scared.
Yeah, what if? What if it was a space ship on top of an airplane? Normal times, you take off like an airplane and then it gets really high and then you zoom zoom right off of the plane into space.
I want to say yes, but I still think I want to though.
There's a there's a there's a dream of being bolder and less scared of travel.
There's a dream, there's a dream in Lisa Maggot of not being scared of travel. Do you are you scared of train travel?
No? No?
Okay, car travel.
Yes, a little bit, but I know, okay. I don't drive.
I don't drive because I'm a New Yorker, so I don't like driving myself. And when other people drive, I'm like, who are you? I don't trust you.
Yeah, there is a comedian. There's a comedian that Kurt and I know I will definitely not name names because what I'm about to say, but she is pretty successful with hard political stances. She takes big political stances, and she hates driving so much. She has a driver's license, but she doesn't drive. And I know for a fact that between shows, like in different places, she'll just hire somebody to drive her from one club to another club in another state. And to me, it does something with my with the authentic city of the political statements. To me, I'm like, drive yourself if you want you to believe what you're saying, you have to be able to drive from point A to point B.
That's why I don't have.
Exactly exactly why I can't drive.
Well, I do have a license, I just can't drive.
Look at that. Okay, so you actually went and got your license. Was that terrifying for you?
Yes?
I failed twice before. Like this is the level of security and driving test is that I failed twice.
I still couldn't drive.
But yet I think they kind of have like a three rull thing where they're just like the third try, you just get it no matter what.
Yeah, yeah, right, there's go for it, like.
They're just like you've tried enough where you're good.
I remember on my uh my driver's test, and I had been driving for I don't know, twenty twenty years at this point, I just let it lapse because I was in New York, and then it was long enough that I had to get it again, which is so humiliating as an adult, and so I had to go out and I had to go out on till I think it was like somewhere in Queens where they like did the test with me and I had to drive with a man and I'd been driving like. I was just like, look, I'm just getting this again, you know, and he's just like, yeah, we'll see. And then I went around a curve like the road was simply curved. It went from straight to being slightly curved, and I maintained my speed, which was I don't know, twenty eight miles an hour, and he he immediately told me to pull over and then he lectured me and he says, if you do that again, I'm going to fail you. And I was just like, what is going on here? This is a I'm totally driving like a normal human being would drive. And it was just like oh, and then all of a sudden you realize like, oh, this man has this man has a chip on his shoulder, and now he has my future driving. I do not want to go through this again. And it's just like it's such a vulnerable feeling of just like, oh, I'm periless. I'm totally perilous in this car with this man.
Yeah. I when we moved out here and we all had to get California licenses. Eventually I went in there. I took off work, like, jumped out at lunch, made an appointment at the DMV so I knew I was gonna, you know, go pretty quick, which is thank god, make an appointment, folks. I don't understand people that don't. It could not be easier. It saves you four hours.
And oh I went yesterday. I went yesterday. I got my real ID, my first real ID.
Ah.
Yeah, it took me forty minutes top to bottom.
Boom.
There was I've counted sixty people in line in the not appointment line, and there was four people in line in the apportment appointment.
Couldn't be easier. I have to go in like three days. I already have that appointment from a week ago. I'm going to glide in there.
Yeah.
I might not even eat breakfast beforehand. You know, I'm just gonna get in and get out. So we all go in and I go in, you know, rather confidently. I wouldn't say cocky, but confidently. But I hadn't taken a written test since I was fifteen and a half years old. And also the rules in California are a little different, differently splitting like lane splitting, which, for those who don't know, you're legally allowed to drive your motorcycle between cars on the highway any of the lanes.
Looney Tunes crazy, when a car in the world late, when a motorcycle goes like sixty through a gridlock, it's terrifying for the for like you as a driver, because it's like.
So scary. Also, just make it between the fast lane and the next lane over. Just say there's one place you can lane split, not any of the lanes. It's crazy. So I the way it works is you can get three wrong, but if you get four wrong, you fail. I think it's only twenty questions, it's not that many. And I got like the second question wrong, and then all of a sudden, I'm like on a qui a show, you know. Then I'm like, on whose line is? I mean, he wants to be a millionaire. I'm like, oh god, what did you get that wrong? I got a couple things wrong. I got a distance between cars on the highway. I think it was like three car lengths, four car lengths or five car you know. It was like, I'm like three car lengths, so I guess four car links, you idiot.
And then it's just like we randomly decided four.
Yeah, it was numbers. It was like the school zone is twenty five wins in school thirty five wins schools not in or whatever, and I go great, and then they go when what's residential speed limit in California? And I'm like, I truly have no idea, And so I got three wrong and with like heat was on and I got the last two and I passed, So I get the license. So I tell a friend who had also moved out at the same time from New York and he goes, oh, scotti. He goes, I got three wrong and then I was on the last question and I did not know the answer. And so he walks over to the woman that sits in the room where the computers are, where the touchscreens are to do yeah, the written test, and he's like, Hi, I'm sorry, I don't understand like the question the wording. Can you help me out? And she goes, well, why don't we just do a question right now here? And he goes okay, and she goes, huh, here's one in the state of California. Uh. The level of blood alcohol content ba C that shows that you are an impaired driver is a point five percent. That seems a little load, doesn't it. It's just b point oh nine percent. Hmm. That's a little high to me. Ce one point oh well, that's a lot of drinking or d point oh eight that sounds about right. He goes, I'm gonna go with D and she goes, and you passed, and then he got his license.
That's awesome.
It's the cutest thing ever. That because people hate the DMV and like it's almost hacked to be like the DMV or the worst employees and they're so slow, and this nice lady just walked his ass right into a driver's life.
That's so great.
Point oh five. That seems a little doesn't that so sweet?
Did you They told you you couldn't smile, right, Scotty when you got your pictures?
Yeah, every time. And I love to smile my licenses. And for years people be like, it's so nice that you smile in your license. Most guys just look like serial killers. And the not this one they said I couldn't smile, and then the most recent one before that, that's when I learned I was smiling and the guy says, don't smile and chinned down, don't smile, And so I look down and so I look my mouth's half open. Yeah, I look like a mouth breathing.
He told me to smile. Well me too.
I was told to I could smile, but only after they'd taken the picture.
So I was like, no, we're set.
Yeah, Oh that's that's crazy that they said that to you after your pictures taken. You can smile, sweetheart.
And then I was like no.
He the reason I know. He's like, you can smile, and so I smile, and I was like, oh, I'm going to give like a real smile for this pick.
You know.
And and he's like, Okay, you can't cock your head. You can't tilt your head. And I was like, all right, no problem, and then I go back and then I just did the exact same thing, and he's like, you can't tilt your head, dude, Well.
You're told that. You're like me, the camera's at your at your nipple height, so you're like looking down. You're like it's like a plate. It's like a sandwich perspective. It's like I'm about to eat this sandwich and there's a camera in there, and so you got fortunes. You just do horrible. So now when I do it, I take this really wide stance so I'm not looking down at the camera, I'm doing like a three quarters split and all you know, it's fantastic. I can't wait too manute, well, I love it.
Gotta give me one.
You're smiling in yours is what you're telling me.
Oh, I've got the best smile on because every other license I've ever gotten, whatever i've had, like four or five or something, I've always tried to do a crazy face. But it's hard to get away with a crazy face because you know it has to be you have to make it seem like maybe that's your resting face. And so the last one I did was like flaring out like the neck muscles and pulling my face down like yes, like that, Like it looked like beaker like like that, you know, And when I show people, I'm I'm slightly embarrassed because it looks like I'm mad, and I don't want it to look like I'm mad in my photo. So I was like, it'll be nice to just have a smiley photo.
Lisa, did you know Kurt's not drinking for the whole year. I did not know that He's doing like a six dry dry three sixty nine.
Yeah, a dry three sixty nine. That's okay.
So you're gonna have to go to next year. Also, yeah for a few days.
No, I didn't start until January twenty second because of the fires.
Yeah, that was a stress time. You dows a little bit?
Yeah what that mean?
Okay, I got one for you. This is Beth Kelly sent this and you could send your stories into the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com or the Bananas Podcast on Instagram where myself or Lisa Maggott and sometimes Kurtie b we'll see your stories. Beth Kelly, thank you so much. Jump Rope pro saves neighbor and dog from ice pond with their jump rope.
What a nice one, What a nice one.
This was in The Guardian. That's real. Written by one name would not be enough, so it's Ramone Atonio Vargas best in the byss Best. When the British editors at The Guardian hear a story about someone being saved with a jump rope, they'd literally jump out of their seats and run to Ramone Antonio Vargas's desk and they say, get your ass on the first plane to Westfield, Indiana. David Fisher of Westfield, Indiana and his son Felix rescued a man who had fallen in after trying to rescue a dog. In an extreme instance of life imitating art, an author of children's books about a jump rope wielding hero reportedly used his jump ropes to save both a dog and a young man from drowning after they fell into an ice pond in Indiana.
Wow, definitely set that up. He definitely made.
He pushed them in.
He push the dog in, playing all right, let's see what happened.
Hey, somebody saved this dog.
Anybody just me? Author David Fisher also suspect last name for pulling somebody out of the water with a rope. Just jumping rope with my son, Felix, name of a famous cat. Here we go these exploits in December by David Fisher, who also jumps rope professionally.
Of course he does.
Uh So, there's like so many people on Instagram TikTok. They are like jump rope people. I wonder if any of them can talk? Should we? We should find somebody that's really like an jump rope influencer. That's fun. But yeah, there are people that just jump rope and make faces and do it to different like pop songs. Great, I mean if any of them can talk. I would love to jump rope influence.
Let's just mash. Let's just mash three words together that I never thought i'd hear, jump rope influencer and then fucking put them on the show. I'd love to.
Lisa, did you have a skip It when you were a child?
I did, loved it.
Great toy, great toy.
Really great, really great? Do they they don't exist anymore? Right?
You could still buy a skippet I love them recently.
And you can buy a bop It too, same company, bop It, great toy. Yeah. Devil Sticks, Yeah.
This is very good at devil Sticks.
I could do it a little bait.
Threshold.
Sorry, go ahead, No, no, I'm just saying I was pretty good at it. So yeah, yes, I don't want to brag, but like I was the best in my class.
No I was, but it was really a cool thing to do.
That is really cool. Bring it to Bananas Fest. Bring your thing to Bananas Fest, Lisa Meggant on the devil Sticks. You heard it here first. You don't have to do that, don't worry. Good, Well, those exploits. I bet people in Denver are great at devil Sticks. I bet if there's one city just still.
The capital live hands down the Capitol.
It's bolder or Denver, Colorado. Those exploits in December by David Fisher, who jumps rope professionally, recently earned him recognition as a hero as he is from the municipal government of Westfield. As the Indiana television news station w r TV told it, okay, I athority.
This sold books for him. I hope it's.
Going to after after he gets the Banana Boys bomp Yep, he's gonna buy that way, he'll have the longest jump rope in Indiana by the time we're done with authorities, say. Fisher sprang into action after his son Felix, heard a man screaming for help. Scary they realized the neighbor's dog had gone into an ice pond while chasing geese and calls the dog to fall in and turn. An eighteen year old man went in after the dog, trying to save the animal and ended up falling into That's when Fisher grabbed his jump rope bag, pulled out his you guessed it, jumbled Dutch jump ropes, and bravely, if gingerly, stepped out onto the ice he told w r t V. I instinctively just went in. Fisher recounted, I could hear the ice cracking beneath my feet. When I did finally arrive, I slung the ropes out to him. He grabbed one handle, and bit by bit we pulled him safely out of the ice pond, said Fisher, whose son helped him complete the rescue. The Fishers then took the neighbor and his dog into the safety of their home so they could warm up and wait for first responders to arrive. Fisher had the tool to save the day on that occasion because he travels the world as a professional jump roper.
He travels the world.
This tea must be real.
Good to see this man jump rope.
Well, I bet he jump roke out to rescue them, Like I feel like probably it was just that's.
Why the ice was cracking. He was actually on like a pretty hard piece of ice, but he was jumping so hard.
But he was jumping. He wouldn't stop.
Jump roping is the hardest exercise that curtain were fitness guys now, Lisa se medics, We're now obsessed with fitness and we don't go to the same gym but I like, I spiritually feel when I'm at the gym that Kurt's also at the gym with me. We're black, and there's a boxing room in my gym with you know, heavy bags and all stuff, but there's jump ropes, and if I'm lying, I'm dying. I just the other day picked it up and I tried to jump rope for two minute straight.
Oh oh, possible thirty seconds of jump roping and you're broken.
Oh my god. First of all, I sort of forgot how to jump rope. I was doing the one where you do the sort of double jump like you like, yeah, yeah, bounce, bounce and instead, and then I'm like, wait, Scotty, you're doubled. You're yeah, topping in between the jumps. And then so I just started to do where you're doing, and I'm like, oh my god, I really forty seconds in and I was like, I have a lot of respect for people who can jump rope, for like boxers, like ten minutes, half an hour.
That's crazy. Also also for and also to go back to the ice too. If you're saving someone from the ice, just lay down, lay down, lay down, laid down. I think we all know that, but it sounds like jump rope guy is just jumping out there.
Yeah, lay down, pal, He's really good though, I mean, he's a he travels the world as a professional jump roper. K. You can't expect him to put it down when.
He says that that means that he once went to Canada. That is all. That means. He had one trip to Toronto and one trip to Cantcud where he happened to jump rope. I highly doubt that this man is being paid to travel for people to watch him jump rope. I cannot believe it. I cannot believe it.
Well, he might be a banana's fest too. Maybe we'll get in touch with them. According to fish Or here's where it gets a little extra bananas, he has collected three world records involving jumping rope while seated on the ground. What submit, Maybe that's what he did to get out on the ice.
But jump jump just scoot like a dog across a carpet from she.
Said, he also performs quote a very interactive, visually entertaining style of jump rope show end quote.
I mean, I can't believe it.
I want to see it. I want to see the seated jump roping.
I mean this must be.
In he must be rare.
Oh, his products must be so firm. He must have that firmas his UH.
If he's cracking nuts, if he's doing like cracking nuts with both legs while he's jump roping, maybe I can understand people are coming to see him. You know, people are throwing chestnuts at him. He's catching him with his with his UH, with his muscles on his legs. One are those things called calf cafe calf?
Yeah, his gams. So I just clicked his website for the first time. His website, if you want to check this guy out, it is rockin rope Warrior dot com and the Rock and Rub Warrior himself, David Fish, has started in nineteen ninety three.
I mean his videos, he's been doing thirty two years a jump roping.
He sells his own He sells a ten foot rope Warrior Performance jump rope for twelve dollars, and he sells a nine foot one for twelve dollars. And you're never going to guess how much the eight dollar one is. It's eleven dollars.
I was joking before when I said this man put that in the lake.
This man put that dog in the lake, no doubt about it.
There's no doubt about it.
Also the homepage, his head is cut off completely to see his Oh, he's butt jumping in it.
He is. I see it too. He's doing rope mastics for nineteen dollars. You can get his rope Mastics Skills DVD and you can learn over fifty jump rope tricks to amaze your friends. And the one I'm seeing, he is wearing like red and black vertically striped leggings. He's wearing a tank top and some white sneakers and white socks, and he is doing a butt jump off the ground. He is jumping rope, just using.
His with his butt. How far is it butt off the ground? How many is inches?
Let's just put it this way. I could slide you an ice cold mug of beer underneath his hopping butt. No, if he was doing it on a bar, just put it that way, all right.
Well, maybe that's what the show is, you know.
I think that this episode might be called Rock and Roll Warriors with Lisa maggod.
Okay, sounds good. Butt jumping with Lisa, Yeah, butt jumping.
Yeah.
I want to give this man less rock.
And butt jumps with Leeza maggod Rock and butt jumping Lisa. Do you approve of this?
I do none of him drowning a dog, though, but of a name.
Allegedly, Fisher's website said he has treated to US presidents George Bush, although he does not specify witch Bush and Bill Clinton, and a Russian one Boris Yeltson to his butt jumping performances. Jumping rope is such a passion for Fisher that he's written fictional children's books centering on a hero who defeats evil enemies with a laser like rope. The hero shares Fisher's nickname, the Rope Warrior, according to the author's website. Westfield City Council honored the Fishers at its meeting on Monday.
You know what, we don't talk enough about the fact that we just had a president. It was like George Bush and then just a little a little while later, a George Bush again, a different person. That's very weird. That's so strange. If we had a Grover Creve Cleveland and then just like four eight years later there was another Grover Cleveland. That would be crazy.
It was John Adams and Johnny Adams y. Yeah. But also it's interesting that you picked Grover Cleveland, Kurt, Yeah, why because Grover Cleveland is the only president. Well, I guess Donnie Dumps just did it again. But Grover Cleveland was the I think twenty second president and then like the twenty fourth, so he got elected, didn't get elected, got re elected. I guess Donnie Dumps did it next. But uh, that's a rare feat in history. So maybe the new Grover Cleveland like shaved his mustache and they're like, hey, who's that guy? Who is that?
I'm Grover another Grover. I will lead us into some thumbs up. Scientists are trying to figure out why hockey players all sound Canadian.
I believe it.
Yeah.
Eddie Laposi wants to thumb up his partner for supporting him for three years while Eddie did his MBA. It was extremely hard, but her support made it achievable. Thumbs up to you, partner. You got Eddie across the finish line.
Yeah.
Megan Boyce is thumbing up her friend Cheryl Waters, which is a great name, who has acute mioid leukemia and is absolutely kicking its ass and treatment. Cheryl's strongest, most amazing person that Megan knows. And if all the ban animals could take a moment right now, we're going to count down to send Cheryl good healthy vibes. Yes, that would be amazing. Ready, we're gonna take a moment of good vibes for Sheryl Waters and her treatment. One, two, three, excellent, great work.
Everybody thumbs up to everybody, thumbs up.
To you, Thumbs up to you. Here's another great one. Taylor Leiston or Lyston wants to thumb herself up. She's two hundred and twenty nine days alcohol free. She's on her way, Curdie b to her three sixty nine. Yeah, she's a second time postpart a mom and did not realize how much of a crutch alcohol had become, which is how it happens. It sneaks up on you.
Oh yeah, started out kind of way out, started out recreational, ended kind of medical, classic old steady line that no one knows, but mem that's okay.
She says she's survived bacherette parties and even weddings while being sober, which is tough, especially bachelerette parties. A wedding, there's food, there's dancing, there's socializing. But bachelor parties are like, get me through this, and Taylor says, as a child of an alcoholic, this is a really big deal for her. So double thumbs up to you, Taylor, and to all urban animals who are dry. Sixty nine ing sixty nine days consecutive no alcohol. Let me know if you want a bomber sticker, I'll mail you one. Yes, internationally, I bought some international stamps. Yes, you did last, but not least. Here's an interesting one thumbs up. I believe this is a Denver based tattooer, Darren Ariondo, who beat the world record by tattooing for seventy two hours straight. So one session of doing tattoos for three days. I ran the numbers and I said to Darren, congratulations obviously, But I said, did you hallucinate? Did you feel like insane? He goes, I didn't hallucinate, but I got drunk without drinking alcohol, so I think he did hallucinate. This is what Yeah, but yees, seventy two hours straight one session of NonStop tattooing.
Crazy.
Wow. He may be one of the bananimals doing banana doing tattoos for us a bananas fest year. If we can get yes. Yes. Anyways, those are thumbs up. Thanks everybody. You're all doing great. You're doing better than you think. That's the secret about life.
All right, of course we are here with full human Lisa Maggott. Hello, Lisa, Hello.
Again?
Are you ready for it?
All the time?
You ready to hear why scientists are trying to figure out why hockey players all sound Canadian, which I didn't even know was a thing. No, they're not. It's from fizz dot org. Fizz org. This is interesting. This is written by the Acoustical Society of America.
What sounds good to me? It is? It is, and this is music.
The title of this one is to sound like a hockey player, speak like a Canadian. As a hockey player, Andrew Bray was familiar with the slang thrown around the barn the hockey arena. As a linguist, he wanted to understand how short specific jargon evolved and permeated across teams, regions, and countries. In pursuit of the socio linguistic biscuit puck, he faced an unexpected question. It was while conducting this initial study that I was asked a question that has since shaped the direction of my subsequent research. Are you trying to figure out why the Americans sound like fake Canadians? Canadian English dialects are start explain what a Canadian dialect is? And Bray, who's from the University of Rochester, presented an investigation into American hockey player's use of Canadian English accents May sixteenth at a joint meeting of the Acoustical Society of America and the Canadian Acoustical Association held May thirteenth to seventeenth the Shaw Center located here out down Ottawa, Ontario, Canadaday Sunday Sunday in the Blood at the Shaw Center, Come on down for the Acoustical Society of America. Everybody studying how hockey players talk required listening to them talk about hockey to sechnique, vowel articulation, and the vast collection of sports specific slang terminology that players incorporated into their speech. Bray visited different professional teams to interview their American born players. Quote. In these interviews, I would ask players to discuss their career trajectories, including when and why they began playing hockeyh blah blah blah blah. The interview sought to get players talking about hockey for as long as possible. Bray found that the American athletes borrowed features of the Canadian English accent, specifically for hockey specific terms and jargon, but do not follow the underlying rules behind the punk pronunciation, which could explain why the accent might sound fake to a Canadian quote. It is important to note that American hockey players are not trying to shift their speech to sound more Canadian. Rather, they're trying to sound more like a hockey player. That's interesting somewhat.
I think that's interesting. They're blending in.
They're blending in. There's sports in the same way that I would always notice because I had I surfed in Rockaway, Queens for about ten years, ten eleven years of my life maybe it was twelve years. I had that place happen, and everyone would adopt either a SoCal thing or a Hawaiian thing, Like in two thousand and three, everyone was bra like all that time. You know, it's up Bra, you know, And it was always like, how's it like, And that's a real Hawaiian thing, Like just walking up at the beach and it would just be some dude from Queens with a queen's accent, like, how's it, Bra.
How's it brought up? Yeah, that's good, that's good to co opt that so far away, that's fine.
When I first started surfing in rock Way, I swear to god, this is like two thousand and three or something, there was a guy who surfed pretty often but did not own surf shorts like board shorts, and would surf shirtless with jean shorts on. And he would battle out on a log board with jorts on, just like like literally they used to be jeans. He cut them off at the knee and he would surf in them. The most uncomfortable piece of clothing to get wet in the history of clothing. And that was what it was like back then, just a lot of jorts out in the lineup.
Lisa, you're in You're in New York City, You're you live in New York City. Is there a neighborhood weirdo in your neighborhood? Is there somebody you see regularly who is a character of you know, the ten block RADII.
Oh, that's a good question. I don't have.
The naked Cowboy is not near enough to count, But that is an thing for person made.
The fact that he's made a career out of it and he's like Internet.
I mean, that's the dream. That's the dream.
I got a nice bob, you know.
Yeah, yeah, he's got to be pretty old at this point. He's been doing that for like thirty years.
Yeah.
I don't actually, I don't even know if he's still around. It's just his his legend is at least.
I mean, he's a lie, I think.
But you haven't seen him.
I haven't seen it, but he just I just think of him sometimes. No, I guess there's the person who just yells a lot, but that's not really crazy.
It's not like a fun crazy thing.
It's just, yeah, someone on the corner who is always on the corner and yelling.
There used to be a guy. There used to be a guy in Baltimore and Hamden that would he would stand on one specific street corner. He was always in a bathrobe and in his hands he would have like toothbrushes and hair brushes, all different brushes, and he would just screw mean personal hygiene.
One dollar.
That you would like use his toothbrush?
Yeah, Like, are they individually packaged.
Loose dirty toothbrushes and hair brushes? That you could come up and you could use them if you wanted for a dollar.
Oh you could use it like you didn't buy it, you got it.
No, no, no, you could use it. Yeah yeah yeah, okay, yeah yeah yeah.
That's you know, that's that's a reused part of reduce, reuse, recycle.
Yeah, no, he's.
I mean my buddy Skip, I'm sure I mentioned this a long time ago. He worked at a Whole Foods outside of Boston and in the coffee department. Every morning a guy would show up and like loose gym socks and like outfit like he had been playing basketball with a deflated basketball pinched under his arm and to his side, and act like he had just played basketball, and then order the same order of coffee and leave. Every day would show up with a deflated basketball, just like shoot the breeze what the baristas. I think Skip was the manager of the department, And and yeah, this guy would show up as you had just come from the courts playing some early morning basketball with a fully deflated basketball just got I just.
Got finished to flat in the ball, you know, after the game, which is what everybody does hard when they're done playing basketball. Everybody deflates their balls and goes home.
Oh God. When I was in college, we went and saw UMass has a very good ice hockey team, and they won the Frozen Four in twenty twenty. But they were good. They were always competitive. Our big rivals were University of New Hampshire, Boston College, Boston University.
Did they sound Canadian? Did they sound yes?
They got well, they sounded a little Bostonian too, And so the we were superfans. We would bang on the glass, we'd scream, we'd chant. And the big thing at UMass is when we would score on the other team, we start pointing at their goalie and call them a sieve like a calender, like a sieve, like something that stays through. And then pointed our goalie and say goalie, and so you go, goalie siev goalie say, and get louder and louder and louder. It was very fun and very dumb. And the guy that would lead it was a student who I never really got to know because he would paint his face like the Darth Maul character in Star Wars and then wearing a yellow pasta calendar on his head, and so he would lead lead the goalie sieve and for years, and we love the guy. He got to know us, We got to know him, but just us like drunk fans cheering for our college hockey team. So we started getting better. We won some mid games, and we won this game in overtime, and we're banging on the glass so hard that the next hockey game they handed out flyers that said you're no longer allowed to bang on the glass, which is the most fun thing you could do as a college student. Yeah, going to a free hockey game with your friends. And so this guy, I think was like pre Law the Darth Maul, with a Pasta calender on his head, Pasa straighter on his head, filled out a petition that said, we feel unsafe because if our hands can break the plexiglass of the glass, then we're afraid for our own safe that the puck or the players will come through the glass and kill us. And we just started passing this clipboard around and signing our names. We had hundreds of signatures of students saying we no longer feel safe in the Mullin Center. If our slapping, bare hands can break this glass, then the hockey puck will kill us if it comes through. In the next game, we were allowed to hit again and they did not care. And side note my good friend John Green. At the time, there was a make seven up Yours was a slogan for seven up the soda and on the front of a T shirt Green t shirt said make seven and then on the back it said up yours. That was the joke. I think Godfree, the comedian, was the spokesman for it. So John had a make seven up years T shirt and he had folded it so it's at up yours. And on the game we got reinstated that we could bang on the glass. We're playing BU It's super competitive. The whole place is really loud, and one of the UMS players hits the Boston University player into the glass right in front of John, and John holds up the up yours and the player that he hit sees it, and then John turns and holds it up to everybody in the student section and people jumped to their feet, screaming, cheering. It was like watching one of my best friends have like a peak moment, maybe the happiest moment of his entire life. The right shirt at the right game, at the right time, with the right phrase, and we were just chanting up yours after. I'm not one to go back and say college were the best years of my life. I think next year is going to be the best year of my life. And that was a fun time.
Hot damn, what was the best years of your life? Lisa?
That's right, it was.
It was college one hundred percent.
It was.
Yes, I high school was so bad for me that like college was Suddenly I was like, oh I can have friends, like I can be cool. And it was very exciting to learn that, yes, high school is bad for me. So I just like when I discovered that I was like a human that could have fun. That was really exciting. Oh so yeah, yeah it's a happy ending, I get not ending, but.
That's a good lesson.
Yeah yeah yeah. How old are you? How old are you in your head?
That is a really good question. I think I'm twenty six.
Twenty six, all right, great Scotti? How old are you in your head?
Three four hundred years old? Probably I came over on a wooden chip and yeah, like I like to put a nice hard salve on my crack knuckles and just put in a good day's word there. It is.
I think.
I think I'm thirty six, thirty five, thirty five or thirty six. That's how that's in my head.
Hey, also, kerk, congratulations on your Super Bowl commercial. Dude, that's a big deal.
Oh yeah, thanks Bud.
My phone up not just you know, not DMS from ban Animals going, Wait, did I just see Kurt? Was that Kurt? Was that curty be? I mean a lot.
I was watching the game at at a at a classmate's home. They were nice enough. They have a beautiful barbecue every Super Bowl and they invited us this year and we're very very happy to be. Their kids are all running around, there's all these people that I do not know. And the owner of the house walked in and it's the only time he did this for the entire game. Came in and then went to turn the volume up on the volume button and instead hit the input button and it turned it off, and it turned it to something else, and it was about maybe it was like twenty five seconds, thirty seconds. That was when my commercial air. So I had no idea. Oh, no, entire time. The thing was on for all three hours or three and a half hours of the game. The one time it was turned off for thirty seconds, he turns the TV back onto my phone just starts blowing up. But it was like, right then.
It was Infinity Right. Yeah, it's a.
Whole campaign, so there'll be a bunch more.
Ah, that's exciting.
I had friends and family on the East Coast, especially been like Curdie B, like my sister, like oh guys went to college with like New York friends, and they all saw you. It's funny, like because that's your second one. You were in one with Cardi B. Weren't you. Wasn't that a super Bowl?
That was?
It was to Lisa. Can you imagine knowing somebody that's been in two Super Bowl commercials?
I can't. Until today, I didn't know anybody. It's true. I didn't know anybody who'd been in walk.
No, maybe I know what, but not definitely not to not to And you can talk to you like I talk to you so that I know.
You could talk to me. And I look like a little wet bird right.
Now, a thirty six year old wet bird.
Well, thank you so much Lisa for being on the show. Did can you believe it went that fast?
No? I'm ready to keep talking.
I've got I know that is say full episode.
I mean, do you want to do a send off? Do you have anything to say to the because you have your own fans, some of the ban animals have become like Lisa Maggot stands, Yeah.
It's very exciting. Keep it up. More people can join the Lisa stan.
I don't really have anything I'm advertising. I do want to say, I've decided I'm going to call myself Plantain.
Girl number one.
Okay, great, it's a different It's similar enough, but like different.
Yeah, it's a PG, he'd say, Lisa Maggot's rated PG. Yeah.
Yeah.
Other than that, I have nothing just great. Animals are great.
Love everyone.
That's sweet. Well, thank you for all your hard work. At least also helps us with Bananas Fest. The mailing list emails everything, so thank you on air from Kurtie B and I. We really appreciate everything you do. You do a great job. Ye thank you, And do you want to say bananas with us? That seems like a good way to wrap her up tight yeak three two one bananas good variety there. Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
The catchy bananas theme song was composed and performed by Khan.
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
And our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgarriff and Georgia Hartstart
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot internm
