Bananas - Funny news from around the world with Scotty Landes and Kurt BraunohlerRand McNally, What a Bunch of Assholes with Kathy Griffin
Kathy Griffin joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a jokes phone on a quiet street in DC, Macklemore brought a fan on stage during show and she totally forgot the police were looking for her and an imaginary town becomes real then not then real again!
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All right, Scottie.
Mm hmm, you're Rightyboddy.
Well, I'm ready to laugh and laugh and laugh.
Why is there a jokes phone on this quiet street in DC.
Ring Ring Ring? I have no freaking idea. But we'll answer those questions and so much more on this very special episode of Bananas.
World.
Would you believe.
You lisillion pieces?
Would you believe.
Ba ba ba ba?
Banana guys, goals, non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas I am Kurt Brown Owler.
And he alone would be enough to host this podcast. He's just that good at potting. But I ride or die with him. My name's Scotty Landis. They call me banana Boy number two. And thank you for listening to this the silliest little podcast there ever was. We're happy you're here. We have a great guest. Everything's awesome.
Oh my god, I'm so excited about our guest today. Also, we just had we just had bananas Fest. Scotty, this is we're recording this before bananas Fest, but we'll have just had bananas Fest.
How are you feeling, Oh man, I am feeling like we pulled off the impossible. We're just a simple two boys with big dreams. And like all pop and pop shops, we we did it. We pulled it off. And I hopp I think we're gonna have a Banana Fest too because this one was so fun. So for all your beautiful bananimals around the world who were unable to make it to this one, start saving your pennies and recycling your cans now. Maybe drive for Lyft. I don't know, but we want to see you at bananas Fest two. He'll be fun.
Also, Burlington, Vermont, I'm coming to you October tenth, eleventh, and twelfth, So come on out, let's hang out. It'll be fun. Burlington's cool. Vermont Comedy Club is cool.
Go see Kurtie b in Vermont, everybody, but let's get into it all right.
Our guest today is an actress, an activist, and a goddamn legend of comedy. She's released six comedy albums, all of which were nominated for a Grammy, and in twenty fourteen, she won the Grammy for Best Comedy Album of the Year. She's released twenty one fucking forty one comedy specials on HBO and Bravo. In fact, she broke the Guinness Book of World Records for having four specials released just in twenty eleven alone.
That's fucking yeah. Her new tour, My Life.
On the PTSD list, He'll behave Slan couldn't.
Even work with them, even they're left in.
Tears, even Caesar. Her new tour, My Life on the PTSD list is on the road this fall into twenty twenty five, including her record breaking sixth show at Carnegie Hall. Please welcome Kathy Griffin.
Thank you.
We're so good.
She and the Riot love her.
I love her. Welcome to Bananas. So you're in the middle or you're in the two.
I'm in the middle. I've done forty three cities so far. Every show is a gift, you know. As you know, there have been some how shall I say issues with the previous administration. He let me off the market for a while, little no fly list action.
Holy I'm oh my god, Oh for real.
I was on the no fly list. I was on the Inner Powl list. I was on the terror watch list. Yeah. So that god, I know. And so I have a whole onunder list of stuff. I had cancer, I had addiction. I was on a fifty one to fifty cycle for three days because I'm nuts. I'm getting divorced. My life is such a shit shield. But I've never been funnier.
Come to see me live, I think true, though, I think that is always the way. When your personal life is falling apart, your stage show is fuck, it gets great.
I mean, it's what I live for and every show is a gift. And to not have been able to do stand up for six and a half years.
That's nuts.
Oh so yes, I actually I'm not making fun of the topic. Don't everybody calm down. But I have been diagnosed with complex PTSD, and so I talk about it in the show. I talk about all the crazy remedies that I do. I'm on every bullshit herb you've ever heard of, and vitamin and I do Kundalini yoga. I don't even know what that is, but I do.
Nobody does tell me, does.
Part of the Kundalini? Are you Kundalini's.
No, No, not least time.
I went to college, like okay, so.
There might be. It might be a rich family. I don't know what it is. So I talk about nothing is off topic, and yet don't worry, you still get some good juicy celebrity dish in there as well.
Oh, that's great. So how many cities do you have left still?
I have at last count, I have twenty two left, including the wheelchair. And you're in Los Angeles, Carnegie Hall, October twenty sixth of New York. Of course, New Year's Eve, my first New Year's Eve gigs since I got canned from CNN. So like, after all those years, you know, when you're a comic, that's a big Night Year's Eve. I mean in the day when I was playing Carolines in New York, I think I did a triple on New Year's like three shows. And so I'm going to go at the Chicago Theater on New Year's Eve at eight pm. And can we be honest, you want to do the EPM show on New Year's You don't want to do me, you don't want to do the ten and then the freaking countdown people are drunk.
I can't imagine.
It's just and you know you want them to laugh through the vomit. But you don't judge. You don't, no, no, no, I don't.
Well I don't know if you've noticed, but in the six and a half years since you've done CNN, they haven't exactly soared to New Heights, so I think Ala.
Say, man, I'm such a bitter bitch.
I love you. I think they're at the bottom of the barrel.
Right, Oh my god, marry me.
But that's so exciting. And congratulations on the Carnegie Hall record. That's record crazy.
It is. I call it the church. And I'm not a religious person, but just people don't know, but the great venues and when I play Boston, I have the privilege of playing Symphony Hall and you almost don't even need a microphone. And I had like answer. So they took out half my left long and then during the surgery they paralyzed my vocal cord. So I just got well, you can't see my scar. But I just like six weeks ago, you guys, I got an implant. I called my boob job. I got an implant, and I left vocal board and I can talk.
You can sound like yourself again. I sound like myself and amazing.
I want to go out there and go hello. The and a half years my voice was up here like this, it was gnarly, you guys. I'm just so freaking happy to be back at work and the year with you guys incredible.
That's amazing. So when did you, like the cancer happened? How long ago?
I was a year sober, And I say that.
Because they're called bullshit, You're a bullshit.
They're protecting me from myself, which is but yeah, they found the cancer when they were looking at like some abdominal extra or whatever. And the cancer happened after I was a year sober. Because this and I have to make fun of myself because why not. But after the Trump thing, I actually didn't know what to do with myself. I was in the middle of a fifty city tour and then that infamous photo dropped in the photographer. It was an idiot sold it to TMZ, I think, and Harvey Levin is a gay guy who's a Trumper, which is a mystery to me. But that picture was then used very much in tandem with the Department of Justice. I was investigated very seriously by the US Attorney's Office and the Secret Service. Yeah, within the DOJ. They put me on the no fly list, the Inner Polist, and the Tarror watch list, and so you know, it made it pretty much impossible for me to work. And I was stopped at every airport and they took my phone and my passport and they go away for an industry and you're kind of at the mercy of like whoever is working at the airport that day, and that shit was like really scary for real. And then so I admit, I just got addicted to prescription pills. But the reason I make fun of it is number one, everybody's been touched by addiction in some way. And number two, who becomes a junkie at fifty seven years old? I'd bekay talk about a late starter fifty seven and I'm like, I should do I should be a junkie, And then I freaking did so then I got sober, and they found the cancer and then took out half the long and I will say, I don't really appreciate how you guys are flaunting your two lungs in my face.
Right now, So sorry, you never know what.
Actually I just have one giant lung.
Okay, that's enough. That's actually all you need. I've done a lot of research on this.
I made fun of it all.
You gotta make fun of it all. I mean fun of people, places and things. And you know, it's it's a it's a different time, and it feels weird to not have done standard for six and a half years, but I am so thrilled. I had three shows over the weekend, one in Norwalk, Connecticut, and then I did a double and Pete Town for the gays and Honey. I went out there like dirty whore. I spray Hann myself with this cheap spray cand I went out in a bikini at my age, in a bikini nice and the gays enjoyed it. And then I, like I said, I did two shows that I'm so grateful to have like apparatus that works, because, like I said, as a stand up, to lose a vocal cord is a serious thing. So I'm, like I said, I'm just glad to be freaking functional. I'm just happy to be upright and functional.
That's exciting.
I am too, as you've got on such a roller coaster. That's like, for six years, so much has happened to you. That again, it's been horrible for your personal life, but my god, you've got to have some good material.
I'm a riot, i am. I've never been funnier, you know. My dear departed friend Joan Rivers would also would always say, oh, the worst of your personal life, The funny you are. It's just the law. Yeah, so he's cheering me on from haven't I held? Because she was the boss, I call her the boss. I was raised on Joan Rivers and Don Rickles, and it's sort of my actual parents. But they were busy drinking a box of wine. Sure, I don't judge them like you do. I can hear you judging my parents because.
I got a box of wine on my fridge right now.
Good for you, Good for you. In fact, did they you guys? Did they stop making My mom's favorite was called two buck chuck?
Yeah, I think it's three bucks now. I think they caught three buck chuck.
Yeah, yeah, Okay, that would not fly with the Griffin household at all. My mother would be in her moon moon negotiating at the cash register, making everybody sorry they showed up that day.
Yeah. When Kurt and I lived in we lived in New York at the same time. It's about ten fifteen years ago. And when they put that trader Jos's Joe's in Manhattan on twenty third Street, there was a line down the road and I was like, I didn't really understand it, and I stopped. I was like, is there, what are you guys waiting for and the person said three dollar balls of wine and I was like, oh yeah, and they're like yeah, three buck Chuck is all of us three dollar wine in Manhattan.
And it's almost like respectable now because it's not a cute little nickname and people enjoy it. And so when I mentioned in the show, like you said, every person in that audience, whether you drink or not, everybody knows free buck Chuck. My mother really should have bought stock in the company, frankly, because she really was a fan, if you know what I mean. And oh my goodness, by the way, I also it helps my PTSC for real. But I have four dogs, and I bring one a different dog, but I bring one of the four dogs with me on every leg of the tour.
Oh wow, which one's the best traveler?
The best traveler is probably little Elliot. I have two dogs named Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson, and they are detectives of the New York Special Victims Unit. I don't know if you've.
Heard were these are very special victims.
Very special victims who often victimize me. And I named on that because when I was on tour overseas after the Trump photo because I knew I couldn't work here, but I learned wherever you are. I mean, I did shows in reiku Vic, I did shows in Singapore. Wherever you are. Law and Order SVU is on. So when I got home, I said, Okay, I'm going to rescue two puppies and I'm going to name them Olivia and Elliott. And Elliott's probably the best traveler because he holds his tea the longest on me.
What a skillet, little Elliott, This big bladder. That's nice, right, beautiful. Well, kurty b let's get into a news story.
All right, it sounds good to me. Uh this one, it doesn't have a great time. Well, no, this I love this one. Uh there's a new jokes phone on a quiet street in DC, and I'll explain what that means. And Joe jokes there's a Joke's phone. This is a pretty great story. This was sent in by d Rachel. Thank you, d Rachel. If you have a strange news story, you can send us to our instagram, The Bananas Podcast on Instagram or the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. This was in The Washingtonian, written by Rob Brunner, who a lot of people say is the best and the biz comes to typing about phones. Earlier this year, mysterious payphone appeared on a residential street in chevy Chase, DC. Locals were surprised to discover that it worked. You could lift the receiver and call anyone anywhere for free, no quarter required. But the phone actually had a more specific purpose, as made clear by the sign across the top jokes. Push one you get a knock knock joke. Push two yielded a joke for children, and so on. The idea was a fast hit with neighborhood residents, especially kids. But why was it there? Some minor detective work recently revealed the answer. The Jokes phone is the work of a substitute teacher at nearby Lafayette Elementary named Don Rutledge, whose house is across the sidewalk from the phone.
Ruttledge is the.
Kind of guy who likes to tinker, has a history of drumming up quirky projects. Asked him about his cupcake car. That's what it says. I don't know.
I'm way more into the cupcakes, but I still know. How does a private citizen have the right to actually put a working phone in on a public street.
Here it is this is like a public payphone.
It's a public payphone. So he and it also instead of saying phone, it just says jokes. It looks very nice. So he bought it on a place called a publicpayphone dot com.
What yeah, what did you think of that?
I know?
And then he he tinkered with it. He took all the electron old electronics out and put he wrote computter code. He designed a little computer that goes in it. He says he spent seven hundred dollars a figure that he is embarrassed about on it.
But you go it.
Does he think that's high or low?
He thinks that's high for just like a joke, Okay, but.
That's amazing that he was able to do that for seven.
Hundred bucks, right totally. And it has it has a list of all like you look at it and it looks everything looks like a phone, but until you read all the lines on it, and it's all about jokes. And so it has like a whole thing. It's like one through zero, like one, two, three, seven, eight nine zero, and they're all different types of jokes. Awesome, he says, uh, he wrote he wrote some of the jokes, and he recorded all the jokes.
Okay, now we see what's going on. And so.
One of them, like someone says, will they make you all laugh? And he there's a quote from him. I mean, that's in the eye of the beholder. He says, one of his personal favorites. And I do not mind this joke. How does the polygamist hippie count his wives one missus hippie, two missus hippie.
You know, I don't know the joke.
I don't mind it.
I don't know that it was hurt during that joke.
Nobody was hurting.
It was a victim of crime.
No one's getting banned.
Yep, pretty good.
Go let that go through.
Pretty good. That's awesome.
I think this is a public service.
I agree.
I think this gentleman is on his way to either middling at the improv or the Medal of Freedom.
Yeah, I do too.
And I think, you know what, I like it because in a time when we're you know, we're still getting over COVID and we're still trying to figure out what's going on, I like it. I think there should be more of them. They should be in every damn city there I said it.
I agree every city should have a joke phone, and it should just switch it up once a year, just switch it up. It's so nice, like that Hall of Oates number that you could call calling Oats that's been around for twenty years. Just call. There's five choices. You push one, and they played hold on.
Hold on, now you got me, you got me? Not only did I not know, I've been going down a Hall and Oates rabbit hole of exactly.
There's no like two man band that you want to.
Darryl is so angry and unhappy, and I'm so old school that I remember when I used to play. I forgot what state he lives in, but he was on like the local affiliate. And remember there's a show called Darrel's House.
Yeah it's pretty good.
Save girl would go over and they do food fire. It was a crazy show that should have been actually a big network show. But he he seems to hate John Oates with a fiery passion that I can't figure out. What is your take on it?
As straits great question. So John Oates weirdly worked himself into some New York comedy festivals, like he would just come and play aable songs. He had really good stage banter and Kurt do you remember he did Eugene Mermann comedy for us the first year and we were all like, oh, that really is John Oates. I to my point of view is Oates wants to sell the catalog and Hall wants to keep playing the catalog. And I think it just came down to it's just moolah. At the end of the day.
Daryl it keeps insisting that they are not partners, and if you ask him, he goes, I hope you didn't just ask me. If he's my partner, you can't be like he gets almost threatening.
Yeah.
I saw them at the Hollywood Bowl not that long ago, like okay, granted it was probably pre COVID, but they put on a great show and you wouldn't tell that in Like I said, the Hollywood Bull holds ten thousand people. It was packed. People love them except Daryl Hall. Everyone loves all those except Daryl Hall. He cannot stand Hall those.
Yes, I yes. And also he is your partner. Nobody's just going like, man, I can't stop rocking out the Hall like it's all.
Ok all Smith, all in Johnson, it's all outs TERI I'll deal with it.
So there is a number. It's been around for a long time. The number is seven one nine two six six two eight three eight. And if you call it and see if I can get it on here loud enough, come to.
Call her notes your emergency helpline to hear one on one. Please press one to hear it go. Please press two to hear money to Please press three to hear privatize.
Please press fall one. Kathy, I love that song.
It's a sensitive song, and well I like to imagine them writing it together, being two sensitive men. They were talking about love loss and it turns out they can't stand each other. Who might turn to in this kind of world?
Who Oats? Oh yeah, I think I think Kathy and Oaks got to hit the road.
I'm keem Oats.
Of course, Darrel had the pipes, but you know you gotta go with OAHs.
Oates has the commitment.
That's right. Daryl had the lime disease. Oates has the commitment, and you can leave it at that. That's crazy. I have a question for you when you you play Carnegie Hall, and so you've had this wonderful career and Kurt and I are able to tour bananas, which is great. We play all the comedy clubs and small theaters. What is your rider like? Now? Do you have a very specific rider because we get the dumbest shit that we don't ask for all the time.
Okay, so look, my show was called My Life on the d List. You can watch it on peacock. I'm not making a dime, but enjoy it. And my rider is pathetic because I am a business. Yes, well then I have no debt. I bought my house cash. I saved my money like a scene because my mom always said save it for a rainy day, and boyd I have a six and a half yr rainy day. And so people have to understand when you're a comic, there's one pot of money. So when they say stuff like the catering budget, that's your catering. It's so pathetic. It's diet coke, water and peanut butter in case I need a quick protein hit.
I love it. That's that's perfect our answer. And years uh Too's vodka usually, but we might be switching up. We drink a couple of Agga sodas. But we've had like a you know, everything we've ever asked for we usually don't get I will say, but sometimes we'll walk in and there'll just be a pizza that we didn't order, and then we go, is this us like our pizza? And then it? Sometimes we eat it, sometimes we don't. Kurt, what else have we had? We had a I used to.
My rider used to be Yeah, it used to be Tito's, some beers if some people came to visit seltzers and then two two kind bars and two five hour energy drinks in case I yeah, yeah.
Yep, I totally get Okay, you guys, did you know that my well, we all know Dave Chapelle's genius. Dave travels with twenty five people per show.
Well, seems like too many.
Talk to me? What what are all? I mean? I get like five, maybe maybe ten, twenty five.
That's a that's an elementary class room that's acquired.
I mean, it's a lot of things. Yeah, but that would drive me insane. First of all, There've got many people around me. But I what I want, what I think I should do at this point, And like I said, I'm going through divorce. I'm heartbroken. I thought I'd be with this guy forever. I'm a hopeless romantic, do you think and would you be willing to do? You think it's time for me to get a spotter.
Yeah, yes, Okay, please.
Explain to the audience what a spotter is, because civilians don't know what this means.
I have no idea what a spotter.
I don't know what a spot.
Okay, you dumb whores. All a spotter is like, if you're a dude comic, it's the wristband right's going to blow you before the show, and the different color wristband for the blowdiver to get after the show. Since my audience is all women and gay guys, it's all out there.
That spotter better have some long binoculars.
Yeah, and a really good gatar, I mean very I mean yes.
I definitely would get a lot of single men that would want to come backstage to meet me. But you know, they don't want to do the tongue kissing. You know so often I want to do a little tongue kissing. So my spotters, I don't know if I have a lot of work for them, but I I do. I have to admit, I wonder if these guy comics that have posses like this, if like they've got the spotters with their wrist band.
There's like, there's like fifteen of them are spotters, right, but they might.
Be spotting for each other. Toyo Chappelle probably just goes home and then those guys are all just trying to wing man. Yeah, they're spotting each other.
You're paying their hotel rooms, you're paying for their food, you're paying you know the VD Madison, you know all of them.
So much of it. Yeah, that's wild. Years ago, I pitched a show when Spike TV still existed, and it was you remember, it was for a man. It was a network for man. How did that ever?
You remember?
How did that ever exist? And then go away? But I pitched the show to them when I was really young writer, and I had read an article about an NBA player who had made one hundred and twenty million dollars over his career, who is now playing in Puerto Rico for like two hundred and fifty thousand dollars a season, And it's because his entrage was ninety people. He would travel with ninety people and feed them and if he bought everything, ninety people got new sneakers, like and I just remember being like, this has to be a reverse cribs. Yeah, you show how it can all go away so quickly, and I had it all presentation.
I love it.
I would go watch that everybody. That's fascinating to me. Ninety By the way, that reminds me of by the way I'm I'm actually not a sports person, but believe it or not, I've watched every episode of thirty. For thirty I left the documentary fanatic, and the one that got me hooked on that series was they did one called Broke Yes and it was about like Andre Risen and like all these guys there.
Yeah, yeah, I.
Thought that was fascinating. So can I tell you a little story that I'm probably gonna get in trouble for telling you?
Of course.
Okay, so since you straight's know this stuff, you're gonna have to fill in the blanks if my gay friendly mind can't remember. Okay. So the Miami basketball.
Team, the Heat.
Okay, So one day I'm good pals with Do you remember Susie Ormond. She had a financial shattle a little girlfriend, use.
Your zip bags five times exactly.
So she's still a friend of mine. She's a power lesbian. The power lesbians are running the world. Don't be fooled. And so she's in my house one day and she gets a call from freaking pat Riley, and of course she has to show me the phone. Well, girlfriend, you're not gonna believe he's calling me. It's my good old friend pat Riley. And I'm like the coach. So she goes, yeah, so this I find wild. All right, help me with the history. But there was a time when I believe there were three famous acquisitions for the Miami Heat at the same time.
Yes, d Wade, Dwayne Wade, Lebron James, and Chris Bosh.
Okay, so how so happy you're here for this, Scottie?
Seriously, how brilliant pat Riley hired Susie Orman to help acquire those guys for the team. She put pat pat Riley put Susie on the phone with the mom of each one of these players about how to keep their money and how not to go broke in six months, and not to buy ten Lamborghinis and not to like you all the stuff. And I thought that was an amazing stroke of genius and quite a feather in her cap.
That's amazing, Alison.
So no, I have no authority to tell that story. And I probably shouldn't have.
But well, you didn't disparage anybody. Also, that's those guys are all known for having great financial lives post basketball. Those guys, aren't, you know, they're not out by crypto dot com Marena asking, you know, selling their rings and jerseys. They're fine. Right, here's another story for us all speaking of that, Reach in the Darkness sent another great story, and thank you, Reach in the Darkness. This was in Billboard magazine. That's real. That's written by Gil Kaufman. Never heard of him, but he's really good at type.
I hosted the Billboard Music Awards three years in a row. Oh, so they do exist, they know.
The first time I became aware of you, Kathy, was when you were hosting or co hosting Premium Blend. Yes, that was a great era of stand up deal.
That was a big deal for so many times.
You guys stand up. I feel like they're taking the special out of specials, Like there's something where the streamers and the networks. The fact that Comedy Central isn't the central place for comedy is crazy. But also the fact that like Max, you know, back you had an HBO special to change your whole life so all right, sorry, sorry, back to them.
No, no, no, I brought it up. My apologies. So here's the headline from Gil Kaufman at Billboard Magazine. Mackelmore brought a super fan onto stage at a festival and she totally forgot the cops were looking for her. Oh no, no, here you go.
Wait did she get arrested there?
Oh yeah. It always sweet when an artist invites a super fan on stage during a show to give them a special moment with their favorite singer. But a recent incident in Slovakia during a maccamore set at Last Weekends Lovestream Festival should give anyone wanting to hop on stage pause, or at least make them take a beat to check their priors. See that's why, gil Kaufin, do we just stop.
At Slovakia like I think I'm gonna admit I can't find Slovakia on a map. I'm not proud to say that, but it's true. But there's a part of me that sort of loves the Maclamar Cans still tour as long as it's Slovakia.
Yeah, guy, he's a hard work, seems like a really nice guy. He seems like he's on the right side of the issues all the time.
Yeah, Now do you think that the girl do you think that it's kind of like emblematic of people are so desperate to be famous that they will actually forget like, oh, I'm on the you know, well I should know. I was on the terror watch list, but trust me, I was nowhere near Slovakia during that period. But why do you think the girl forgot in her fever to get up on stage?
I know, it's the allure of being on stage, right. We've had quite a few stories about like former Mafia bosses that get frusted because on YouTube they started in a Talian cooking channel and then the inner Paul was like, right there, he's right there.
What I just I read? I just heard a podcast about some international drug smugglers who were who like they tried to catch, they escaped, they were living free in somewhere like Belgium, and then the guy just went on Google and started reviewing restaurants and then.
That's how he was arrested because he was even five stars to like a pizza place of Belgium. I'm a giant Narcos fan. I've watched every episode of Narcos and Narcos Mexico and Guzelda, and let me tell you my want. Escobar would not do that. He would go he he had his hippopotamuses, you know in Colombia.
And those those hippos now have been they released them, and now there's a hippo problem. And call these run with cocaine hippos.
That's right, and so that and so I'm just saying, you know, you kind of want your cartel members and your mafiosa's to keep their shit together.
I don't mean to judge, and I don't want to be anybody else's crosshairs, but you know, maybe not reviewing the vodka sauce that your cousin's is like the best idea that day.
That's right. And it's funny because I'll get to how she did. So she didn't get busted right off of stage, but here's how it went down. The Slovak Republic Police Earli this week said that one of McLamore's super fans ended up on the wrong kind of spotlight when she posted images on her social where she was seen with the rapper holding a mic with his arm around her shoulder. Translation from this post that they put on their Facebook there said a Slovak girl thrilled from a joint solo with macmore forgotten that she was wanted. Uh so do we.
Know what she was wanted for?
What is she wanted for?
The unnamed so and then somebody narked on her speaking narked. An unnamed good citizen reportedly recognized the twenty four year old woman from the warrants page and informed police, who detained her after she left the stage. So I'm sorry she did get detained off stage. At press time, police had not disclosed what charge the unnamed woman was reportedly being sought for, but she was ordered then by a court to serve her prison sentence, which she had reportedly previously been avoiding. The woman was subsequently escorted off the premises to uh the institution for execution of a prison sentence. So she did go from stage to jail. My apology, which is my god?
They don't you know the flow box? Do not fuck around it here? Oh yeah, I am watching my PS and q's when I play the chucol Hut over there in Slovakia.
Yeah. Yes, have you ever played to a non English speaking audience? Have you ever?
I have not? I was worried when I, like I said, I got to do a show in Singapore, or by the way, it's illegal to be gay. So they had somebody from the government in the back of the theater for real. I already had been detained at the airport there for like five hours. I was scared shitless and then but I didn't want to say, like, I got a room full of gay guys waiting for me, you gotta let me go. So I was like, I have a show tonight, and it's a room full of men that wear colorful clothing and lots of bequins may be involved or may not be. It's a like I'm trying to talk my way on and it's just making it worse. But yeah, that was wild to have like a government representative at the back of the show making sure, like you know, I was just making one of the Kardashians. I wasn't saying it against the government of Singapore.
Yeah, that's interesting.
So I wasn't airport jail, but just for.
Questioning, exciting, exciting.
I did a set once in Berlin. How was that it was? It was like it was just super strange, and I did like it was right. It was only like maybe five, eight, seven or eight years after I started doing stand up, and so I had like a good five minutes that I thought would work, and some of it worked and the rest they just stared at me very politely, like very polite Germans.
Okay, So, how how good was there? English? You think? Or do you think it's pretty good? That's a humor was like so dry.
It was a place. Yeah, it was a place that often had American acts like swing By, but there were other German acts like on stage doing German stuff before I went up, So it was like a mix.
Yeah. I will say when I have done the Just for Last festival back in the day in Montreal just Career, Oh.
Yeah, I believe.
I can't help but think that that first week where it's all the quebec Qua French only. Okay, I know this is going to come out wrong, like everything in to say no, but the ship they laugh at is fucking nuts, you guys. I swear to god, it'll be like a guy dressed as an apple and he'll just stand on stage and go, I.
Yes, that is a very good approximation standing ovation and so he'll come out, but he'll come out on stage and before he says anything, people are on their feet clapping. They're like, miss stand appy, Okay, so wild. It is really crazy, so funny.
What country have you guys ever been in where you felt like the sense of humor was really really cooky?
Well, it's not a different country, but in Hawaii. It's different the in Hawaii because it's such a mix of people, since it's like American tourists and gis and stuff like that, the Polynesians, the local Hawaiians plus the Japanese influence. Everybody takes shots at each other, and it would be it would be stuff that I think people would feel like they couldn't put on TV. Now go to us. Just go to a comedy club in Honolulu and they all just take shots at each other the whole night. It's kind of fun. It's almost like a roast in a way.
I kind of like that. I'm actually playing Honolulu in I don't know my schedule in front of me. I think October.
That's go see. If you're a Honolulu ban animal, you gotta go see Kathy Griffin in Honolulu.
I'll probably you know, I may reprise the bikini if it's hot. In human you know. I know you guys hate it when your hair frass. I'm right along there with you.
Yep, what I got left? I hate when that goodness? That's fun. KURTI hit us with another story, Bud.
All right, here we go. Maybe this will send us home. Oh, this one's interesting. This was sent in by copy Haste. Thank you copy Haste. He sent us in a while back. This was the title is an imaginary town becomes real, then not, then real again. This is a fascinating story.
I magine in any town, because real than.
Not then I like, Oh God, I love cult doc started.
This was in NPR, written by Robert Crowich my friend. He truly is the best in the biz. I love Robert crow with all my heart, the former host of radio app Folks. This is the story of a totally made up place that suddenly became real and then strangely undid itself and became a fantasy again. It's about a place in upstate New York called Aglo a g l Oe, just up the road from Roscoe and Rockland. In the nineteen thirties, there was no town on that stretch between Rockland and Beaverkill, just a dirt road. This wasn't an important or often visited place, which made it a perfect spot for what is called a paper town or a map trap. So companies that create maps get their work cops beat all the time, you hire draftsmen, you check spellings, work on the colors, you get all the cities in the right place. And then along comes a gas company or a tourism agency and it takes what you've done and slaps its own name on it. You cry piracy and take it to court. Obviously, this is before Google maps.
A beaver killed? Did I hear that? Correctly?
Beaver killed?
That is so if you're from there, you're like, I'm proud beaver killer. Okay, I'm learning a lot, all right? So is it? How did it become a paper town and then a not paper town?
So basically what happened was they made this place up. This one map maker made up aglow to like mark their map, so if someone recreated their map, aglow would be there and they could sue them. And so.
Interesting, right, smart, This.
Is the underbelly of the map world that I will tell you I was not prepared for.
I was prepared for it either.
It's a from a time where there was a man named Thomas, and he had a guide, and so I am my Thomas Guide. And then I had to turn the page one hundred and forty seven that had no connection to page seventeen. So right, but I didn't know about the infighting. And by the way, once again I hate to bring up Marcos, not unlike the drug cartels with these map.
Q Yeah, thank you, thanks.
They are vicious, viciousious map makers.
So it was rand McNally, the famous map company Rand McNally, printed one of its one of its New York State map and guess what, right there, in the same place, same spelling, was the exact, same, totally made up town Aglow. And then the map makers who put Aglow in there sued Rand McNally, and Rand McNally went to court and said, no, we didn't even though they did definitely copy their map. They say, no, we didn't copy their map because in the where in the place where Aglow was, someone had actually built a little store and named it the Aglo General Store. Because they looked at a map saw that this place in the middle of the road was called Aglow, called the store general Store, Aglow General Store. And because that tiny place existed rand McNally won and didn't get sued by this smaller map company, and then like one year later, Aglo General Store went out of business. What and now exist?
I mean, they're the only game in town, for God's sake something. So the rad McNally people are not looking great in this. I mean they are looking like they're taking down the little guy, and damn it, I don't like it exactly.
Yeah, Rand McNally, big assholes, the assholes to the biggest jerks around.
Which is covered in the First Amendment of the Constitutions.
All their assholes and they could read their maps and go right to hell.
I'll be honest, I want to know every item that's at the General Store. I don't know if they have tampons, condoms, Like how general are we talking or is it just you know, you guys getting some pizza and.
Vodka that's right? Or is it like the Prada in Marfa, Texas or whatever that's just a pure pop up stand there. Take a photo in front of it. Speaking of, they're just about a mile down the street from that Prada fake pop up thing installation in Marfa. There's a really bad abandoned house with a plywood door. That's somebody spray painted Prada on. That's where I took my photo, and I recommend if you're on a road trip to the Prada Marfa, go a little further and take one in front of the shanty that's falling apart. That also says prad on it. It's the same difference. I love a shit, same thing.
I love a shanty town. I like shanty people, I like shanty attitude. You know I'm I'm not mighty like you guys.
I see I love a sea shanty.
Oh who doesn't?
Who doesn't?
And be human, kurty b Let's do some thumbs ups. Because I picked these three out knowing Kathy was gonna be our guest. I thought they were apropos. Okay, great, and then we'll plug away the tour and then we're gonna wrap it up time.
Oh you guys are too good to me.
So thumbs ups. These are our listeners send in kind of shout outs for people. Miles wants the thumb up his wonderful boyfriend Alex. They've been dating for over a year, and Miles came out of the closet in February twenty twenty three. He never thought he'd love somebody as much as Alex, So Alex introduced him to our podcast, Bananas and they're coming to Banana's Fest. Curve up, Miles and Alex thumbs up. Great job coming out of the closet, Miles, it's a scary thing to do. Congratulations.
You know what. I'm gonna just say it. I hope it's a chanty closet because that has its charm. Now you can take pictures with them, I hope.
Oh yes, as many as they want. We'll marry him if they want. Whatever they want to do. Madison Russell wants to thumb her brother Tory up. Tory passed away two years ago. Tory did not listen to Madison's wedding coordinator, who, despite being warned numerous times, he locked his knees and fainted at her wedding. Oh, her and I were talking about this. Kurt didn't know that was a possibility. But yeah, I had a wedding planner like truly yelling at me not to lock our knees. So we went past that.
Still so surreal.
Wait, I don't mean to like, I'm.
Not going to die from fainting.
I know this is not technically a medical show, but.
It's such an educational podcast.
It certainly is. So locking your knees means what like, you're standing there during the bows, but you're not.
No bend in your knee, no bend in your knee.
If you stand perfectly.
Straight for how long until you go down?
Ten to fifteen minutes max? Like you'll see pretty fast.
Fast most weddings, I mean you'll go down, yeah that most weddings are not that short. So you're you're.
Yes, exactly so after So, the first time Madison laughed after her brother Tory passed away two years ago was while listening to Bananas. She says, thank you Kurt and Scottie for bringing me back, which is very kind.
That's right.
And last, but not least, Ali Joey wants to thumb her sister way up. At the end of June, her sister Elizabeth had a heart attack. They performed CPR and an AED and brought her back.
Oh my god.
She had a defibrial defhibibulator, yes, implanted and didn't work, so she she went in for a second surgery to get a new internal defibrillator. She's an absolute rock star who has not lost her sense of humor during this entire ordeal. So thumbs up to Zizabeth's we wish your speedy recovery.
Yes, I feel like such an asshole for like bitching about any problem I've ever freaking had. This chick has a defibrillator. Now does it just go off like when it senses it needs to go off?
I think that's right. I think it repro I don't know. We're also not doctors, as you could tell immediately just by looking at us, but are hearing us speak for two seconds? But uh yeah, I would think it probably helps get your heart back into rhythm if it starts to get out of a healthy rhythm.
I want one.
Oh well, cute doggie.
Now that's a cute my.
Doggie Maggie named after my dear departed mom Meg. You like, like you said, enjoyed the two or three, but chuck and she's one of the four that will bring with me on the road. She helps me stay calm and all that. She's like a canine defibrillator if I can go that far.
Yeah, Kathy, please plug plug away, tell us everything.
Website, Kathy Griffin dot com, Instagram, TikTok. I'm even still on whatever Twitter is these days. I called shitter, but I'm gonna fight with Elon. Elon is so mad at me. He took away my account.
That was crazy, Yeah.
He was. He got really mad because I changed my user name from an Kati girl from to Eddielon Musk and I just started tweeting like all this pro woman stuff and pro pro.
Choice, all controversial.
I know. He was very upset.
And then he banned you from Twitter for a while, like a baby.
Yeah. And then I did something afterwards which I'm not proud of, and I'm not going to try to convince you it was ethical because it wasn't. But I then started tweeting as Elon from my dead mother's account. Slow clap, giving my cut, slow clap like that.
Yeah, thank you so very much for being banned animals. Go see Kathy. She's probably coming to your town. Twenty one more tour dates. Carnegie Hall goes here in hannolu l Weirdoh it's a fun thing to do.
Right are you? Guys? Are awesome. Thanks for being so good to me and so fun. I love you guys, and what an awesome show.
Thank you so much with a pleasure having you Bananas Byang Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
And our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hartstar
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern.
