Bananas - Funny news from around the world with Scotty Landes and Kurt BraunohlerKurt and Scotty talk about a bulldog puppy who chewed owner’s toe to the bone may have saved his life, a woman beats the Appalachian Trail record, Britain’s tallest duck has gone missing and world’s oldest cheese found on 3600 year old mummies!
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Are you ready, Scottie, Oh curty bee, I am so ready to laugh and laugh and laugh.
Bulldog puppy that chewed his owner's toe to the bone may have saved his life.
Oh gosh, oh okay, well a man, I'm so thrown. Make no bones about it. Bite there, We're about to bite off a big old chunk of a new episode of Bananas.
Would you it's not your mind her pieces? Would you?
Guys gals don binary Palace, Welcome to Bananas. Sitting across from me, a man on vacation. True, a man in Europe right now looking at me at a hotel room doing his duty podcast nation by by podcasting on his vacation. It's Scottie land As.
I don't mind at all. I don't mind it all, and I'm sorry my audio is not as as amazing quality as normal. I don't have my home set up. But it's true. I'm in Venice. I'm looking at a canal with my left eye, and my straight eye is looking at the world's greatest comic, Kurt Brown Owler Curtie B. You know him, you love him. We call him the big banana around here.
Oh man, how is how has your trip been?
That's good. Well, yeah, I mean so off season travel in is just fantastic. The weather's been great, and yeah, I'm in Venice right now, which a lot of people don't know. Their roads here are canals and they're nope, it's a big secret, and their cars are boats. So it's a funny choice they made a long time ago that people still sort of enjoy today. I haven't done a gondola ride. I don't believe I am going to do a gondola ride. This is my first time to Venice, but I just feel like, uh, not for me. I've been thinking about it a lot. I think it started as a We're having a wonderful night in Venice. It's romantic, the stars are out. Let's take a boat ride with a gondolier who takes us down these quiet, dark canals. And now it's just packing as many people into a boat and rowing their asses in a line through the city. Yeah, I think I'm good. I think I'm good on the gondas, but yeah, I'm not having a great time. So many new stories, so many fun things. I went to Monaco. Uh huh, I've never been. Have you ever been to Monaco?
No, it's just like a casino, right, it's just a giant casino city.
So it's the richest per capita city in the entire planet. There's only thirty seven thousand residents. That's crazy. They speak French, but they speak everything. And the weekend I got there was yacht the International Yacht Show weekend in Monaco, which I didn't know. I can't even afford a canoe. But I had the first experience walking around Monico. I've never had this in my life where I was seeing children like children Gus and ALA's age, who are so rich and the way they look at you, it is like they have perfectly combed hair, they have ten thousand dollars outfits on their dad has a two hundred million dollar yacht, their mom's five billion dollars and they just walk by you like look at this slug, and you're like, you're right. I couldn't afford a chair on your international yacht, young man. But it was a new experience.
That's crazy. That is so crazy. Did you go to the casino?
I did. I went to the Monte Carlo casino, famous from all the James Bond movies. And I'm not a gambler as you know, but I did a go in, I got a drink, I walked around. I didn't take any photos. No, I didn't actually gamble. They they kind of separate you into again, like the poor sad sacks and then the richies. So when you go in, there's sort of an everybody can go area and it's slot machines, and I was like, I'm god.
Really yeah, oh, because otherwise you need to like the James Bond area where people are like negotiating nuclear codes and playing poker is like four high rollers on right.
And it's the two interesting things because it's an educational podcast. One is if you live in Monaco, you were not allowed to gamble in the casino? What real? Yeah, you're not allowed at if you're a citizen of Monaco, which is very hard to do. Some of the rents I was looking at thirty five thousand dollars a month for every cubic square foot, so every ten by ten space thirty five thousand dollars a month. What? Yes? What?
And then is it a tax haven or something like? Why?
It's a huge financial tax haven. And the casino is owned by the government of Monaco. It is their breadwinner. So you can go and you can put in money and you can get a bunch of chips and stuff and you can go play the table games, or if you just want to go in and play, you know, just to say you did it. There's sort of an entry room that's just slots. And so instead of participating in all that, we decided to go over and have a cocktail in a very very nice bar. And it was great. I mean, that's awesome. It was fun. And so you know, if I go with you, if I go with friends, I'll be like, yes, let's go to Monaco and eat some gelato. But man, it is just not built for all of us.
Just we are not fascinating.
Thirty five thousand dollars a month for ten square feet in the city, so.
You could lay down, you could lay down diagonal if you needed to.
Right, the median per capita for the thirty seven thousand people that live there is twelve million dollars, so you basically have to have somewhere around twelve million dollars to and it takes like ten years to become a citizen. You have to live there, you have to pass all these tests. Fascinating place, didn't I just walked around and had a ball. It was wonderful.
Oh wow, well I was. I was in Mexico City.
Yeah, how was that. Congratulations on your anniversary.
Thank you. Speaking of gondola's, I guess it's called gondolas. Uh.
There.
I went to this place called I'm going to mispronounce it, but.
Milo sounds great.
It's XO m I L C h O. But it's canals about an hour outside the center of Mexico City. And you go and you pay, uh, you know, pay a certain amount of money for per hour, and you get on a like a gondola, but they're like flat, they're like a flat bottom boat that's very long, and then they pull you out into this like canal, like whatever canal you know, like a series a grouping of canals.
Oh man, I don't know.
I know, it's not that, but a network of canals.
Okay, let's go now.
So they pull you out into network of canals and then everything is there, everything is on boats. So you want some elote day, Like they come on and they like they're cooking it right on the boat. They come over it. You give them some money, they give you some me. Lie, you want a Margarita. They're making a margarita on another boat that we love you, Margarita. We got a mitchellatta that was the size of my head. It was an entire forty ounce perfect jumped into a giant Corona cup. And then they put the like the the seasoning that they put on the rim of it.
Like the taheen, but something better.
It was, yeah, but it was. It was spicy and sour and sweet. It was also sweet and it was just dripping down the sides and Lauren and I and we took a little bit and no problem, and we're just laughing drinking the most the giantest beer that you've ever had. And then then like another boat pulls up and it's a full eight piece mariachi band, like, yeah, we want a song. And then they all get on our boat and it's not no shit. Five violins, a gigantic guitar, trumpets.
Yeah, the big guitar is what sets the mariachi bands apart from the rest of the bands of the world.
That star It was the most intense experience because you're surrounded, you're surrounded. It was just Lauren and I on the boat, do you know what I mean? And We had eight dudes who were like the just excellent musicians and the singers such strong voices, but you're like eight inches away from them and you're like just floating down this canal. It was so awesome and wonderful. It was what a treat. If you ever go to Mexico City, it's worth the hour maybe hour and a half long car ride to get out to Sochi.
Milko was great though.
It was so cool, and I would recommend if you'd go do it for two hours. We did it for one hour, and you know, they turn around after thirty minutes and we were like, oh.
Man, we're just yeah, yeah, that's cool. I've never heard of that down there. That sounds wonderful and that's a fun way. You guys made new memories. You didn't just look back did You lived in the moment. You two were present in your love for each other. That's good, great, it really was.
It was very cool to have just like four days no children walk around a city together.
It was it's old school.
It's old school, and it was so so cool. I loved it. But if you go be ready first first twenty four hours, thirty six hours, it's hard. You thought Denver was hard, you add another two feet on it. It's hard with the altitude.
Yeah, they they're national soccer team espishly in World Cup and qualifying when they play in Mexico City as the altitude, Mexico wins all the time, like they are adjusted to it, and it's a huge, huge, huge, huge home field advantage to play there. Don't I'm going to say it's the stadium as Teca, And maybe that is so wrong and racist of me, but I'm pretty sure that is what it's called. Also, I picked up this thing. You know, I've done a lot of travel in my life, but you always when you try to speak a new language, or when you're speaking a language that you're not very familiar with, sometimes you feel like a little embarrassed and dumb. But I had a moment of clarity about a few days ago where everybody, everywhere you go in the world, it doesn't matter where you're traveling, fifty percent of those people are below average intelligence. So let's just say half the people you're interacting with are so in their own below average intelligence life that when you make a mistake, you walk down the wrong way, you say the wrong vocabulary word, you don't know how to ask where the toilet is. They're they're fine, They're already thinking about something they saw earlier, and they're gonna giggle about it and check their phone. It like it takes this pressure off you when you realize that you're not just walking around with Rhodes scholars and every and great memoirists who are going to record your stupid move. Most people are very dumb. And if you just put your neck out a little bit and say, hey, I don't know how to say this, but I'm gonna try. Thanks to Google Translate, Uh, you're gonna get away with it because that person's in their own life, in their own zone and their own brain, and they don't care. Yeah, they don't care.
And also it's it's it's I think travel is a little bit about feeling the best silly it is, do you.
Know what I mean?
It's a little bit about being vulnerable because you're going somewhere you don't know what's cool, you don't know what's not cool. Like you walk, you could have the coolest clothes in America. You go to Berlin, you look like a dork because they're wearing the dorkiest, weirdest clothes. Yeah, and they're like, this is cool, this is what cool is. And You're like, this seems like the weirdest, dorkiest person I've ever seen, but it's awesome. It's like that vulnerability of it, and like, yeah, don't worry. I always try, and I always make a fool of myself trying to speak the language I always do. I love it. I love it.
I do too. I just it was a moment of clarity where I'm like, this person doesn't care that I just messed that up. They might recorrect me and send me on my way, and then they're gonna go look at butt pictures online like everybody else, Like it's so freeing. Just look like a dummy. Nobody cares at all. Here it is Scottie, Yes, sir.
Bulldog puppy that chewed his owner's toe to the bone. Yeez, saved his leg. This is a This was sent in a long time ago. I've been sitting on this one for a while. I was saving it for a live show, but the opportunity never came up. This was sentence by Brendan Bailey.
Thanks Brendan b. Thank you, thank you so much.
This was in sky News Sword of Real, a retired builder. This was written by.
I need to know Big Toe Johnson.
Nobody, no one wrote this.
That's swig In sky Staff.
A retired builder has told how his dog potentially saved his leg by chewing his toe to the bone while he was asleep. David Lindsay was taking a nap on a sofa when his wife's scream woke him up. He looked down to find his seven month old bulldog puppy had been nibbling on his foot so much that his toe had been fractured and was covered in blood. However, in a strange turn of events, it turns out Harley the dog was an unlikely hero.
Okay.
The sixty four year old father of five told Whales Online quote, I was asleep on the couch when my wife walked in and shouted, Dave, the puppy's chewing your toe. Oh god, puppy he had near enough chewed him my big toe off. It chewed down to the bone and cracked it. But because of all of this, I discovered that by foot is completely numb. Well yes, I mean when it it takes this for this man to ever feel his foot, yeah, shit, and not realize that his foot is completely numb.
Yes, that's crazy.
After being rushed to the hospital, doctors told him he had lost the feeling in his feet due to two blocked arteries in his legs.
Yeeesh.
He was warned if the blood supply was not returned, he risked losing his leg. Specialists are now seeing if he can have stens fitted that would open up the arties allow the blood to return to his legs. David from Cambridge added, you gotta laugh about it. He's done me a favor by chewing my toe, So I'm waiting to find out they can put stents in. This was in twenty twenty three, so I'm sure that this man is absolutely fine.
Now. Uh my, I'm a.
Big toe too. But if not, I told the doctor to cut it off and I can take it home for him. He's gonna give the dog his toe.
That's disgusting. Wow, this is surely a positive spin on an absolutely insane story.
It's a really insane story. And the picture is of them on the couch together. This dog is incredibly cute. David Lindsay and his leg saving dog, and it's a ball dog and it's just like such a cute puppy, but also what a crazy move by I've never had a dog chew on a part of my I guess maybe bigger dogs chew on parts of your bodies. I guess Rob's dog used to chew on his hand. He stop, but always would stop at a certain point.
Also, he could feel his hands. I mean, I guess, like you said, how long, and I guess this guy was really just looking the other way, like how long can you go without realizing you can't feel your feet? Maybe I'm overestimating how much I think I can feel my feet.
I feel like I'm a little bit always aware of feeling my feet. I feel like everybody right now while you're listening, are you feeling your feet? I feel like I'm feeling my feet. You I would, it would just feel like, you know, all of a sudden walking around on stumps or something.
Otherwise, it's really well, I mean yeah, I mean this dog wasn't trying to save his life. This dog just got got started on a little a little tease, a little tag and this this hardest sleeper just I mean, you can't feel not just feel it, but you don't hear it. That's that's truly a bizarre guy.
That's a bizarre guy. There seems to be more to the story.
There is man Harley. Why is how did Harley David seem become the lamest brand in the history of the world.
Like, I don't know.
When we were kids of somebody at a Harley, it was like, oh, they have stabbed somebody and they have those they had those old tattoos on their forearms and stuff that were just bleeding out from years of drinking and sun damage. So it's like, is it a mermaid? Is it an anchor? And if they had a Harley, were like it's bad as now when you see anybody on a Harley or at those Harley outlets that are always near malls or out and you're like, I could beat everybody up in that place, and I am a whimp.
I tell you why, because now the average price of a Harley is like eighty thousand dollars to own a Harley. That's why it's like it didn't used to be like it's a rich man's toy now.
Yeah, if I ever go on prices, right, I hope when I get to a showcase showdown that it opens it up and it's two Honda gold Wing motorcycles, and I will pretend to be so happy. I will just do standing backflips until Drew Carey's like, just let's just give them to this guy. This guy clearly loves Honda gold Wing, big Grandpa with speakers and like luggage racks. It's just it's just weird how everything starts as one thing and then over time becomes something completely different.
I know, I've always I'm always shocked at that. As also as I've lived on this earth for longer and I've seen just in like comedy, I've seen people begin come up, have success, oh yeah, and then go back down to obscurity. I've watched the whole cycle happen, and you just it's like it's a it's a deep, deep reminder that it's all a fucking river. That it's like the only constant is changed.
That's right.
It's just like at any moment, if you feel a certain way about the state of the world, it will be different.
That's right. That's a good point. Yeah, that the rise and fall, That's right. The longer you're in it, it's a weird thing to see people that get just run out of the gate, going so fast and then it just that pulls them right back in. Yeah, damn.
It's fascinating. And even the biggest, even the biggest, they I will then have a fall.
I had.
It was just inevitable.
It's really true. I had a really interesting experience early on in New York. And I think this person's working a lot now, like right now they're finally got their break twenty years later or whatever. But remember that bar cabin. It was in the East Village and it was like a hang hey, yeah, And there was a guy I think his name was Chesley who hosted a little back room stand up show there that had like I don't know, maybe it's set like fifteen to twenty people, but late night at cabin, all the comics, the all comics, you guys like the Variety show comics, the real comedy seller guys and gals. They would all meet there on some nights and you would it would be a who's who it would be Dave Chappelle would be there, Bill Burr or somebody like that. But then I would go Kristen or you or whoever. And I remember, like I was probably twenty two or twenty three and had just gotten there and in one night the number of like entertainment lessons I learned, Like somebody introduced me. I won't name the comics name, but they were like, do you see that guy over there. I was like yeah, They're like, oh man, he's the new John Belushi. He got a pilot on ABC. He just went out to pilot season, and like he's gonna be the next big thing. And he was my age. And so I end up meeting that guy and we're really talking. And then there were two SNL writers who were like formerly and you know these guys, they were like, don't write for us, andel it sucks. They were like, it's a nightmare. And it was like a big dream of mine to write for SNL, and they were like, it is a nightmare factory. People steal your jokes, you don't get stuff on. Do not do it. It's you don't get paid enough. And I just felt like I walked around cabin, a place I probably went four times and ten years, and in that first night I kind of saw so I got so much insider information on what to avoid and who not to be. And then that guy who was going to be the next John Belushi, I mean, for fifteen years, it just didn't happen at all. And it's I think sometimes we forget that all of these careers are impossibly hard. There they're actually impossible hard.
Yeah, yeah, and it's it's amazing so much if you could get anything done, if you can get any little thing done, it is it's a miracle.
But you know, keep trying. Also, there's like a lot of our favorite comics of those those older folks that are just still funny and they're like sixty and they get up there and they're just so crazy and funny that you're like, well, that's a good skill too. I think that's why I like writing so much, as I really have the belief that I'll at least get better at writing the whole way. Like comedy, I'll probably won't be funny in five years, ten years, but like I think I'll be a better writer till the day I stop typing, right.
I agree with that.
Yeah.
But what's also very interesting when you think about that is like, uh, I don't know if it's true with filmmaking, because if you look at it like it, it doesn't seem like it. It's like the last film a massive auteur director does is never great? Yeah, And I wonder if it's the sludge of Hollywood, do you know what I mean? Like so many things like in Hollywood, you have like talent and you start to rise up, and then all these like sludgy arms of Hollywood reach up and start grabbing onto you and telling you this and pulling you this way and pulling you that way, and saying you have to do it this way, and you have to do it and em And I think that maybe is is it that Hollywood does after a certain point, Like it's what gives you the opportunity to get a thing out there, and then if you stay long enough, it is what ultimately destroys your art.
Dude, At the start of the strike last summer two summers ago? Was it last summer? Jeez? When was that two summers ago? I have no idea either. But at the start of the Writer's Guild strike, I get a call from this guy who's an agent, one of my agents, but just somebody to know inn the business. And he goes, hey, do you know anything about AI? And I go not really, I know some why He goes, I'm here and I won't name the actor's name, but I'm here with an actor and he's like a canceled actor, Like this guy has been canceled, Like I would never work with this guy. Yeah, never met him, don't know the guy. But he was like I was telling about you and that you're a really funny writer. And he just read this thing about AI and he has a great idea for a movie pitch, could you get on a zoom real quick? And I was like, uh no, I'm like it's a strike, but like if you guys want to tell me what the idea is, like I can chew on it and then like, I'm not gonna scab, so you can tell me the idea. So the actor gets on. The canceled actor gets on and he goes, hey, so AI can like impersonate your voice and it can like take it could take like all of your work and like and reproduce it. Right. I go, yeah, I think it actually can do all that. Like you can say, uh, give me a Stephen King book but about jazz, and then it'll AI can write that.
And he goes, so what if I as cemetery.
Yeah, wait a second, this is pretty good, and so this actor goes, so, here's my idea. This is my pitch. I think you're the perfect guy to write it. Again, I don't know this person, and he goes, so, what if there's like an actor, like a former former, like a list actor, and like an AI pretends to be him and it becomes its own sentient thing and all of the bad things that this this actor's ever done, it's just the AI guy. So the movie is about the actor trying to find the bad version of himself that's AI and shut him down. I'm like, oh cool, that's interesting. Let me think on that a little bit.
I was like, yeah, like Armie Hammer, I mean, yeah, it wasn't him.
Armie Hammer, who is who I had a storage unit next to and walked up to, made direct eye contact, and I was like, that is Army but slightly older than Army Hammer. But I was like, oh cool, Yeah, I'm not going to do any development of writing during the strike, but let me think on it and I'll get back. And I kind of did that because I knew it was like a knee jerk idea for this guy and he would never go back to it, and so that's what happened. Never went back. But I'm like, that is the level of delusion that people have, Like what if I saved my career by making a movie where an AI version of me was the bad one and I'm the good one and I stopped the bad one from being bad? And I was like, you think I'm going to put my name on that, You're insane? Never Never, ma'am Oh so crazy. I'll tell you who that was off the podcast sounds good. Sarah Marie sent this in. Thank you, Sarah Marie. You can send in all your banana stories to the Bananas Podcast on Instagram or we have an email and you ask us what it is all the time. It is the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. Send it along. We check it. Oh you're gonna like this one, Kurt alrighty, It's not really bananas, it's more just so impressive. One woman sets an impressive new record on the appalach Trail this week. This was in SI dot com, written by Maria Best in the Business Aldrich. Oh she's good.
That's good.
When it comes along walks, you want Maria Aldrich right there every step of the way. On September twenty first, twenty twenty four, the Appalachian Trail saw a new fastest known time, which is called FKT, which is I think a big thing in the hiking world. Of the previous overall record for the two thousand, one hundred and ninety seven mile trail, it was formerly set in twenty eighteen by Carol I think it is Carol Sab or Sabby in a time of forty one days, seven hours and thirty nine minutes. Now that record has been broken by shaving off thirteen hours. Thirty one year old Tara Dower is an experienced in Durant's athlete who diligently planned and trained for this challenge. Dower completed her journey on Saturday for a time of forty days, eighteen hours, five minutes.
And this is self supported. This is self supported. She did not have any assistance. No one brought her food, no one brought her any supplies that she needed. If she broke, if her shoe ran out, she had to go get herself a new shoe.
That's right. So think about that twenty one hundred and ninety seven miles and she did it in forty days, eighteen hours and five minutes. To put this tremendous achievement into perspective, it takes thousand one hundred and ninety seven by forty forty days. Yeah, we'll just do the days.
Fifty five miles a day, Jesus, Oh my god, Wow, oh my god.
Door to Shure for me when I lived in Echo Park was nineteen miles. Yeah, and think about what that did to us doing shots and eating hot dogs and walking on flat land.
On flat land, stopping whatever we want, up and down, up and down, up and down. Also the incredible boredom I've heard of Georgia. And I think I believe she did it north to south? Right, she did it southbound?
She did I don't know. Let me see uhur endurance to it doesn't say in this one which direction she did it.
I thought. I thought she did it southbound, which is the opposite of the way most.
So Maine to Georgia right, fourteen states.
Yeah, but like the last, either way, it's brutal because the last, you know, hundreds of miles in Georgia is just boring. But in Maine, if you do it Maine, the last part is you go up over a mountain and it's the highest I think part of the trail.
I might be wrong, though. It takes the average hiker five to seven months to complete the trail. Most hikers plan ahead to resupply their food and water along the way. My uncle Pete did it. He did it, and I think in his late sixties early seventies. Yeah, he did it. But he broke it up into three chunks, I believe. But it was hard. I mean, it's a lot. And then I've told this story back in twenty twenty, but when I was at ums, there was this dude who's like six six, big, shaggy blonde hair. His name's Ozzy. Never went to college with us, just hung out around college, this college age guy. Love this guy. I would walk upstairs in our house and belcher Town Masks and he'd be sitting there just drinking a glass of strawberry Quick that he made for himself, just politely sitting in silence, drinking strawberry milk. So one day Ozzy disappeared and I was like, what happened to him? And they were like, oh, he's going to hike the Appalation Trail. And I was like, no, shit, that's cool. And then like three weeks later, we threw a big party at my house and Ozzy was there and I'm like, hey, dude, how are you. I heard you were walking the Appalation Trail and he was like, yeah, I stopped and he's like, I'm just going to hang out here. I'm like why, and he goes, oh, man, it's just so much walking. Yeah, yeah, that is the main part.
Yeah, I mean I get it. I have kind of a dream about doing a long hike like that put probably on the Pacific Cress Trail.
Yeah.
Sure, But I don't know because when I have time to go camping, I love hiking into a place and setting up camp, but then for a day I just want to chill.
I don't want to.
Then immediately break down camp and have to leave at first light. It feels very much like the event becomes the endurance rather than the appreciation of being in nature.
It's a total extent. Absolutely. I don't think anybody's doing this just for a fun chill time. I think all I think people are working it out on the trail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The iconic trail takes hikers through fourteen states, running from Maine to Georgia, and Dour clocked in an approximately fifty four miles per day as she navigated her way through each state. I mean, that is so much on foot, oh much. This record breaking feed is not the first time Dowers set a speed record. Her endurance resume is extensive. In twenty twenty three, she beat a long standing record on the Colorado Trail, creating a new FKT of eight days, twenty one hours, fifty nine minutes. But the eight days compared to forty days is like me compared to Shaquille O'Neil. It's just a big, big difference. Her resume doesn't end there, however, she has a lengthy list of speed records that she's broken over time. While breaking the record was the goal of Dours, she had another motive in mind, which was to raise money for Girls on the Run, and she stayed on her website. My goal is to raise twenty thousand dollars for Girls on the Run during my apperation trail fastest known time attempt. My hope is to inspire women and girls to go for that tough goal, no matter if it's with running or in life, and dours fundraising efforts surpassed her initial goal. She brought in a whopping twenty one thousand and seventy six dollars. Well, that's ice, that's awesome. Also, great coal.
Really do have a question about and Duran's athletes like this, Like there is if you if you do something similar in another UH venue of of of sports or athleticism, there's like sponsorships you can live off it. You can then be a coach or something. There is nothing for having for having the fastest known time of walking the Appalachian Trail, like you don't. There's no sponsorships outside magazine isn't sponsoring her now. She doesn't have like a an energy bar that like pays her rent. She probably just has to go back to working a job now.
Yeah.
Yeah, but and she's like a massive she's a massive athlete.
Yeah, it would be very hard. Yes, this is harder than many things. This is yeah, because it's mental. It's like there was finally a woman finished the Barkley Marathon in Tennessee. That like impossible, no woman had ever finished it in the last year, somebody did. And I don't know if you ever saw that documentary about the Barkley Marathon, but I won't spoil it. But it is one of It's one of those things I think about when things are getting tough and you think about the kind of heroes in this documentary and they are gutting it out. Like one guy is an egghead engineering type that just as like this many calories in, this, many calories out. And then this other guy is like, I lost my dad, he'd want me to do this. And they're the grit and determination to do something that very few people have ever done. It just some people are built like either their engines like the first guy, or they're just all heart. And you look back through history and you go, it's the combination of these two people that moved mountains. Yeah, yeah, so thank god for old uh what dour?
Yeah, Tara? And also like maybe I'm wrong, maybe maybe like after doing this, you can have some sort of thing that pays your bills for having walked very quickly for very long.
At least free shoes forever, free socks. Somebody get Tara some free socks for life. Somebody just.
Running every day. I guess she has to run, right, there's no walking. This is her trail running like the majority of the time.
I would Yeah, this is a this is a lot of work. This is wild. Yeah, if you like crazy, it's crazy.
It's so crazy.
I don't think I would enjoy it. See I don't want to do that as a young man. When you're young, you just want to prove for the world awesome you are. Then you get middle aged and you're like, I don't care. Like if you're like, hey, we're just going to go canoe on this pond a little bit, I'll be like, that sounds wonderful, delight. I feel like we're putting a team together to row to Hawaii. I'm like, not me. I'll meet you there. I'll have the my ties waiting. I'll be at y Kiki, I'll be hanging the banners and I'll throw some confetti can into your way. But not for me, never again.
All right, I'll tease this into a little time out here.
Oh yeah, I got some thumbs ups. And remember if you have Spotify or listen to this on an Apple, if you recently got a new phone or updated your software. It's been booting people from following podcasts, including Bananas. So just if you're fiddling around with your phone on your board, you know, in the back maneuver or something, see if it unfollowed us, and if it did, we'd love for you to follow us again.
Britain's tallest duck. He's gone missing, but now he's got a statue long Boy.
I can't wait, baby, I'm a huge fan of long Boy.
Uh.
Thumbs ups. McKay wants to thumb Jacinda up. Jesinda runs a no kill shelter in Georgia and it's running out of space. Georgia Bananimals. The Dawson County Humane Society needs you. We're gonna share the link for a fun rise that Jasinda is running in our stories the day the episode comes out. But go down there if you live in Georgia. Adopt a new best friend, maybe get yourself a new cat. I don't know. Thumbs up to Jasinda. Hailey Gibson wants to thumb her sister way up. Lisa quit her communications job after not getting the promotions she deserved from working so hard. So Lisa quits and it's like hell Na. She started her own company. It's called Sage and So owne Strategies. So google Sage and Stone Strategies and I bet they have something. Lisa's gonna make your life better. I don't know what the strategies are, yeah, but they're gonna be good. We believe in her thumbs up. Thumbs up the wonderful. Dominique wants to give Marciano the old thumbs up for moving out of the state two years ago. He moved away on his own and he is now working as a successful ASL interpreter. Nay, amazing, good work. Thumbs up to you, and what better way to congratulate an ASL interpreter than two thumbs up? Two more? Annasett wants to thumb her partner Felix so far up. Felix got his PhD in environmental ethics after years of hard work, pressure, research and deadlines, but now he's using his position as faculty at a university to make the world a better place, and Anassat is so so proud of Felix. Thumbs up unless but at least Frank Sara I couldn't get the so on in time. We record a couple of weeks Earli. Frank Luna wants to thumb up his aunt Mary for having her last cancer treatment on September twenty seventh. Again, sorry we didn't get to this sooner, but this isn't Mary's first time having cancer nor her first time beating it, and Frank wants her. Frank wants Aunt Mary to know that She's everything he wants to be and thanks her for showing him such strength and resilience in life. So thumbs up, Aunt Mary.
Thumbs up, Aunt Mary. Way to go Banana the Week, Banana of the Week.
Congratulations your banana gratulations. Damn good for you. You can send your thumbs up to the Bananas Podcast at Instagram.
So the story was sent in by the wonderful Aaron Kate. Thank you Aaron.
We love that Aaron Kate.
So long Boy, long Boy, A little bit about long Boy. I'm going to be reading from two articles, one by Olie Constable and Oliver Wright in BBC.
And can beat those two by.
Julia Brison and Rachel Russell.
Oh BBC.
BBC requires two people to write about a very long duck. First one handles the top half. Second one handles at the BBC a duck which became a star of social So this was from a year ago May three, and then we'll have the update. Thank god, a duck which became a star of social media due to its height is believed to be missing. The University of Yorksire said. The bird known as Longboy came to fame after he featured on James Corden's US talk show and Greg James Show on BBC Radio One. The Mallard slash Indian Runner Cross, who was two feet four ounces, had not been seen on campus for almost two months. University spokesperson said, given the lack of sightings, we're forced to conclude that he may have passed away. In a statement, they said, we appreciate this is not the resolution that many people wish for. I hope to acknowledge that his passing allows us to focus on celebrating his life. So jump to the celebration of his life, okay. Statue of missing duck unveiled live on Radio One, which is a great place to unveil a statue on the radio. Yes, people can't see it.
I could see it in my mind's eye. Boy, it's glorious.
It is pretty glorious. A statue of a popular duck who went missing from the grounds of the University of York has been unveiled live on air during the Radio one breakfast show So Fun. Host Greg James, dressed in black and wearing a morning veil, revealed the sculpture of the unusually tall duck known as Longboy in Central Hall, beating on a directors show broadcast live from the University of Thursday, James said, is one of my great sadness that I never met Long Boy, though I feel like I did. The statue was unveiled as part of a ceremony held at nine am with hundreds of people watching on. After the unveiling, a minute's quacking was held by those in attendance. This is a great idea. Everyone quacked for one minute.
That's one of the highest honors there is in all of nature.
Also, that's delightful. I mean, what a beautiful what a beautiful ceremony, What a fun thing to do.
If Long Boy knew that was going to happen, he would have said, killed me, now, kill me. Now you're telling me you're going to get fifteen to twenty five strangers of a different species to quack around the statue in my honor. I'm going to go up to the long neck in the sky.
I mean, I gotta give it. I gotta give it to Greg James.
Here, yeah, good word.
A Long Boy themed cover of Hot to Go Chapel Rodan's hit song was performed by York student choir the Sing Song Society, while James threw miniature toy ducks into the audience. We celebrated long Boy, Yorkshire's finest who said a few months ago he was Britain's tallest duck. And we did a memorial for him today. I promised we would and we did. There was it was straight. It was striking, how engaging and friendly he was. Everybody had Oh my god, there's hundreds of people.
Oh good, Okay, that makes me feel better. Yeah, that's good. Yeah.
And the statue of long Boy was approved after more than five three hundred pounds was during fundraising. Man, this just reminds me good. I still want to make this. I want to still make the statue of the boat the man yeah who crossed a Lake Michigan in bathtub.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. We tried so hard to get in touch with that guy.
I mean, I've emailed his wife, I've emailed him he's still alive. I've emailed his kids. But no one will get back to me on whether they approve. Like I just want them to say, yeah, fine, we don't.
Care do yeah, we don't care to do it.
And if they say we don't care, do it, then we can just go ahead and do it. We have the stone sculpture. Steve Shen is ready to sculpt it. If we can raise the money for that, that would be amazing.
I feel like we need to. I know. I think a lot of times we reach out to people for things and they don't believe us or they don't understand. And yeah, I reached out to get the Beavers back in Baltimore so many times, and I got in touch with the woman and she was like, oh, okay, and I'm like, no, no, We'll get hundreds of people to the Imax and watch the Beavers Imax back in Baltimore. She's like, oh, that's cool. I'm like, no, we would love to do it, and here are the dates we'd like to do it, whenever it's easy for you. People might come dressed as bananas, will probably come dress as beavers and logs. And she was like, yeah, I just don't think we'll be able to do it this year. And I'm like what about next year? And it's like, yeah, I don't know, and I'm like I don't Maybe I just don't understand capitalism. I'm saying, we will buy tickets to fill your movie theater.
Three to five hundred people will come to watch one imax that you already owned that you don't need to purchase.
Yes, I think everybody once, just show one time. Well, I'm not going to give up. That's the difference. I'm not giving up like Tara Dower finishing the Appalachian Trail. I'm going to see this through and get the beavers back in Baltimore. I'm going to send us strongly worded postcard this evening. Even damn. Well, that's cool. We had a giant duck on campus at UMass that we named Curly because he was about three or four times bigger than all the other ducks. He had a curly tail, and then we would feed him macaroons, so we also called him duck a run but we would go to lunch and then we would all take macaroons and walk to the lake and specifically feed Curly and talk to him like he was our best friend. And then twenty years later we went back for a reunion, and you know, there was a duck that was bigger than all the other ducks, and so we just called him Curly and fed them some macaroons.
You know that's pretty great. Also, ah Man, that feeling, I remember that feeling specifically of finishing lunch, and if you didn't have a class like directly after the best lunch, then it was like you're not going to go home right now and definitely not start doing homework because you maybe have a class at like three or four or something. So you're just like on campus with friends and just having a nice time pleasant. I can just picture it a fall. Yeah, it's just starting to get chilly out.
Oh, we're gonna go throw the frisbee around, hang out by the student Yeah. I mean, UMass was so great because it's so liberal. It's so liberal and progressive. That'd be like the Cannabis Reform Coalitions doing a bake sale and you're like, great, let's check that out. And then it'd be like the Young Feminist hasa Kasa club is going to do a drum circle, and you go, I'll be there for that too. It was just endless. The Vegan student Union is going to do something great, I'll eat some stuff like. It was just so fun to participate in every activity. It really was. We were shooting a sketch once in UMass has like the tallest library in the country. It's not the best or the biggest it's just the tallest. It's just a big red eyesore right in the middle of AMers. And we were shooting a sketch about a section because I think it's like twenty six floors or something. So one of the floors was like just a humping section, and this guy kept trying to get a book and read, and then we would just close in on him and start humping them. I mean, we knew the guy who was another actor on the show. But while we were shooting that, we found two couples having sex in the library, actual couples, not us, And so one was like on a desk on the floor we were shooting at just then the girl was just sitting on his lap. And then when we were going down to the end of the sketch was the guy that kept getting humped in the library just runs out of there, goes down the elevator and he's walking across campus and then I shot it from the twenty sixth floor of him looking really small, and then these two guys just come running in and tack them and try hump them. And while I was going down the stairs, there was a couple having sex standing in the stairwell of the Unas library.
So I mean, look, you're going to take a bunch of eighteen and nineteen year olds and then give them all roommates. Yeah, the bed is directly across. You gotta find a place to hump. I do I remember humping in the library?
Hell yeah, college.
Because it was like what, you know, what are we going to do? Otherwise you're having sex in front of someone. They try and sleep like that's your other option, which is weird. It's weirder to do that.
I agree. I agree. It's more private, and I mean, what is a library but a hotel without beds? It's it's also building a library.
Check out at our library there was there was like study rooms, so there was like you go in and close the door and then you had like your own room. It was like a small room, but perfect for humping.
Did you ever have did you ever date when you were a teenager or in your early twenties? Anybody that liked Victorious Secret, like that War of Victoria's Secret Underwear and bras?
Oh yeah, I'm sure.
Yeah. It was so popular.
It was just everywhere.
It was everywhere. I thought about this for so long, But whenever you're a guy and you go in there and you're a normal guy. You're either in there with someone you're dating or married to, or you're in there buying something for somebody as a gift. It is. You don't touch anything because you don't want to seem like a creep. You know, you just do a lot of like arms behind you, eyebrowsing, and like.
You see we go to Victoria's Secrets differently, Scotty, you touch them all. Just put it right on my head. I want to put them all on my head. See how many I could fit on my head before they asked me to please leave the store.
Yeah, I'm looking at it like it's it's pottery from Carthage. I'm just like interesting, interesting now this is. And then you like walk around a mannequin and it's got a be a pearl thong all pearls, and you don't want to look at it too long. But I also want to give it its due, Like I appreciate the design involve, but I always wondered why they didn't. I think they would sell. I think they'd still be number one in the underwear game if if in the back they had a bar and when you were you could only have two drinks. But once you paid that drink, they gave you a shopping bag and then anything you put in that shopping bag, you don't have to check out. It just scans you out the door. It just has whatever RFD or whatever those things are. And I think they would sell if, like nervous guys could go in there and have just two stiff cocktails and then get a bag and then just do quick, just throw it in the bag and walk out the door and it just charges their credit card and they're back out in the mall and on their way to Brookstone. I think that that would that company would rival Facebook.
I think that's a brilliant idea Scottie.
It would be to.
Think of that. When you were in college, the tech wasn't there.
But yes, I thought about it back then, but now we have the tech. I mean now when I go to Dodger Stadium, you walk around and you walk in and you walk out with stuff and it somehow charges you or well, we did the story that it was just people watching you on cameras in India that was counting it.
It's so crazy.
Yeah, we all thought it was a magic technology. It's just people in India watching you on camera being like people. Snickers number two, Snickers number three, Oh man, so good? Speaking of this is a you're gonna like this one? Well, okay, I'm gonna do a bananas one. I'll do. I'll save this sort of smarty pants one for another EPI. Ali La Chappelle sent this in Thank you, Ali La Chappelle. World's oldest cheese found on thirty six thousand year old Chinese mummies. The world's oldest cheese was found on thirty six hundred year old Chinese mummies. WHOA. This was in Live Science.
I mean I'm finding out two things. One China had mummies, okay, Two they have cheese.
Yeah. You don't think of that Chinese cheese very often. You know, I'm in Italy right now. Nobody over here has talked about that Chinese cheese. I keep bringing it up to everybody, but nobody wants to talk about it. Like y'all have had that old old you know that good stuff, that old. You think this parmesan's old? You've never had that Chinese cheese. This was written by Jennifer Naliwiki. Oh she is good when it comes to cutting the cheese. It's Jennifer Naliwiki for Live science dot Com. The Bronze age coffin was found during an excavation of the ji I'm Gonna go jao Hi Cemetery in two thousand and three. When the thirty six hundred year old coffin of a young woman was unearthed in northwestern China two decades ago, archaeologist uncovered a puzzling substance draped around her neck like jewelry. Remarkably, it turned out to be cheese. It's so good that Chinese cheese. Man, I'm telling you, it's out there. Researchers now believe it's the oldest known cheese ever discovered. While regular cheese is soft, this one has dried out well, I'd hope so, after six years, becoming dense heart and powdery, said Fu Jaume Paleo geneticist at the Chinese Academy of Sciences in Beijing and co author of a study published on Tuesday in Cell c e LL That Great Specific magazine for Everyone. In an interview with NBC News, Fu explained that DNA analysis of the cheese sheds light on the lives of the ji jiao Hi people who lived in what is now Xingjiang, but also of the mammals they raised and the evolution of animal husbandry in East Asia. Oh wow, animal husbandry is a crazy funny name for something. It's so it's adorable and stupid simultaneously. And also, let's not fix it. It's just dumb. Yeah, keep it animal husbandry. Let's keep it. We don't need to update this and make it more progressive. It's stupid. Let's let it be dumb. The bronze age coffin was found during the excavation of the cemetery. Thanks to the arid climate of the Turine Basin desert, the woman's coffin was exceptionally well preserved, as were her boots, hat, and the cheese that adorned her body. Foo noted in ancient barrel practices, significant items were often placed alongside the deceased, and the discovery of I think it's keifer cheese, right, kefer f i r our kafir. Let's go kir kafir cheese near, though I've read it so many times that I've never said it, So let's go. Discovery of kafir cheese near the woman suggests that cheese played a crucial role in their daily lives. Cheese production has been recorded in history for millennia, with murals and ancient Egyptian tombs dating back to two thousand BC. European cheese making evidence goes back to seven thousand years. However, the dream bas and cheese samples are the oldest physical examples of cheese today.
Look at that.
This is a huge discovery.
It's a big discovery.
They discovered samples in three tombs. They analyzed the DNA of all of them, tracing the evolutionary of bacteria involved in cheese making over thousands of years. The cheese was identified as kifer or kaffir or key fair or just kate. You know keyfer cheese, Keefer Sutherland needs key for cheese made from fermenting milk with what is it? Keffer k kaffir made with kaffir grains. Evidence of both calid goat milk was found at the samples. There you go, there, milk and everything back then. And the study highlights this is the part that really does wet my whistle. The study also highlights how the Jiaohe people, despite being genetically lactose intolerant, consumed dairy before the advent of pasteurization. Refrigeration cheese production, which reduces lactose levels, allowed them to include dairy into their diet.
Fascinating.
Wow, it's so good they're willing to make a run for it, you know. Oh man, pretty damn good.
Pretty good.
Thank you, Scotty, Thank you, Kurtie b. Thank you. Everybody exactly right, Kay Levine, Lisa Magga had all the beautiful bananamals all around the world, especially the international ones. Have a great week. Everybody, Bananas. Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hartstart
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