Happy Tuesday, Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and I'm Cat and I got a couple of quotes for us today. One of them is unknown, just thought some people might relate to it. I have an excellent memory, just not for things that actually happened. We just remember things that we make up in our head and loop over and over and over that are.

Happy Tuesday, Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and I'm Cat and I got a couple of quotes for us today. One of them is unknown, just thought some people might relate to it. I have an excellent memory, just not for things that actually happened. We just remember things that we make up in our head and loop over and over and over that are.

Not one real like what somebody thought about you.

Not one real like what somebody thought about you.

Yeah, are certain scenarios the look you gave me, yes, or if you make up an entire story around something that never happened, but yet you've convince yourself that that's exactly what went on, and then that's how you remember it, and it's like, that's not actually what happened. I was at on site this last weekend, which is what do you call it? A therapy retreat center? Yeah, for people that need help.

Yeah, are certain scenarios the look you gave me, yes, or if you make up an entire story around something that never happened, but yet you've convince yourself that that's exactly what went on, and then that's how you remember it, and it's like, that's not actually what happened. I was at on site this last weekend, which is what do you call it? A therapy retreat center? Yeah, for people that need help.

They do intensives and beyond you let you help and beyond. Yeah.

They do intensives and beyond you let you help and beyond. Yeah.

So Ben had gone there four or five years ago, maybe five on the dot. Actually he was thinking when we were there this last weekend, I think it was five years ago, like exactly, because it was before COVID.

So Ben had gone there four or five years ago, maybe five on the dot. Actually he was thinking when we were there this last weekend, I think it was five years ago, like exactly, because it was before COVID.

And he went by himself.

And he went by himself.

He went by himself and then Shortly after he got back, COVID happened, which was around twenty March ish twenty twelve. Yeah, So he went back to celebrate his five year anniversary, and the kids and I went with him, just moral support because he's messed up. Just kidding, we all are. It was a family thing. He's not the messed up one. We all are in our own way, right, but as adopted parents, we were trying to figure out a way to connect with our kids more and some of the avoidant stuff that happens, which is very normal and kids that have been.

He went by himself and then Shortly after he got back, COVID happened, which was around twenty March ish twenty twelve. Yeah, So he went back to celebrate his five year anniversary, and the kids and I went with him, just moral support because he's messed up. Just kidding, we all are. It was a family thing. He's not the messed up one. We all are in our own way, right, but as adopted parents, we were trying to figure out a way to connect with our kids more and some of the avoidant stuff that happens, which is very normal and kids that have been.

Attachment was adopted. Yeah, good word. Yeah, got's therapist.

Attachment was adopted. Yeah, good word. Yeah, got's therapist.

So we went to go over some of the attachment wounds and get guidance. They don't call that there the therapist, they're guides. So I loved our guide. She was a fellow adoptive mom had also been through a divorce. So we are there the first night and I'm gonna get to the second quote because it's from on site, and we're all trying to find a seat because we were in our own private sessions with our guides for part of it. But then there are group things. You can opt out of the group if you want, but I'm like, why why wouldn't we take advantage of this extra care and extra fun stuff. So we would go to the group things. In the first night, the group was meeting and we were trying to find four chairs in a row because me, Ben, Stevenson, Seeshia and there was like only three. And this one guy was like, oh, I'll get up. I'll get up, man, so you can sit with your wife. And Ben's like, oh, that's not my wife. And I was like, yeah, we're not married. And then so I just sort of I don't even know why I did this, but I just to the whole room. I was like, so I'm just gonna go ahead and throw this out there. We're divorced and we're here with our kids, because I just wanted to it cleared the.

So we went to go over some of the attachment wounds and get guidance. They don't call that there the therapist, they're guides. So I loved our guide. She was a fellow adoptive mom had also been through a divorce. So we are there the first night and I'm gonna get to the second quote because it's from on site, and we're all trying to find a seat because we were in our own private sessions with our guides for part of it. But then there are group things. You can opt out of the group if you want, but I'm like, why why wouldn't we take advantage of this extra care and extra fun stuff. So we would go to the group things. In the first night, the group was meeting and we were trying to find four chairs in a row because me, Ben, Stevenson, Seeshia and there was like only three. And this one guy was like, oh, I'll get up. I'll get up, man, so you can sit with your wife. And Ben's like, oh, that's not my wife. And I was like, yeah, we're not married. And then so I just sort of I don't even know why I did this, but I just to the whole room. I was like, so I'm just gonna go ahead and throw this out there. We're divorced and we're here with our kids, because I just wanted to it cleared the.

Air because were you interacting with all those other people we.

Air because were you interacting with all those other people we.

Would be and if people still would refer to us as husband and wife, and just kind of.

Would be and if people still would refer to us as husband and wife, and just kind of.

You're almost either let it go.

You're almost either let it go.

But then others came up and they're like, this is amazing that y'all are here, and I said, yeah, it is, but more so that it's a miracle because there was a point in Ben and I's relationship where even though we're amicable, something like that would have never been on the table. Even though we could co parent well and yes we have our moments where it's not going so well, but we rebound pretty quickly, something like this still would have never be cause I think last summer I even threw out just maybe one therapy session like one. I remember that, just one, and it was like no, and I don't blame him. So we have come a long way. And I didn't even push this, but I think because this wasn't about me and Ben in our relationship. It was about the kids. Yeah, and he obviously is willing to do whatever for them. And we even made a joke about that in front of the kids. And we were eating lunch because they have this cafeteria like space where everybody sits and eats at the same time, and we would sit as a family every meal, so that was awesome, and we would talk and we normally would have just come out of it intensive so we felt a little closer and it would lead to better conversation, and we were talking about what brought it up. I made a salad at the salad bar, and I put raw red onions on my salad. And that's something I never used to eat because I told you, yeah, the raw garlic and the red onions. I just the smell. I couldn't so our entire marriage, which we were married seventeen years, he also could not have them because then that's all I would smell. And I was making out with him, so I'd be like, oh, did you have raw onions on your salad? And so he quit eating them, and he's sitting there watching me eat those, and he's like, I cannot believe I'm watching you eat raw red onions right now. And so I just looked up while seeing myself and I said, I cannot believe you're sitting here with us at this table at on site. And then they all laughed and he's like, yeah, yeah, you're not wrong. And I love that we were able to sort of poke fun at each other.

But then others came up and they're like, this is amazing that y'all are here, and I said, yeah, it is, but more so that it's a miracle because there was a point in Ben and I's relationship where even though we're amicable, something like that would have never been on the table. Even though we could co parent well and yes we have our moments where it's not going so well, but we rebound pretty quickly, something like this still would have never be cause I think last summer I even threw out just maybe one therapy session like one. I remember that, just one, and it was like no, and I don't blame him. So we have come a long way. And I didn't even push this, but I think because this wasn't about me and Ben in our relationship. It was about the kids. Yeah, and he obviously is willing to do whatever for them. And we even made a joke about that in front of the kids. And we were eating lunch because they have this cafeteria like space where everybody sits and eats at the same time, and we would sit as a family every meal, so that was awesome, and we would talk and we normally would have just come out of it intensive so we felt a little closer and it would lead to better conversation, and we were talking about what brought it up. I made a salad at the salad bar, and I put raw red onions on my salad. And that's something I never used to eat because I told you, yeah, the raw garlic and the red onions. I just the smell. I couldn't so our entire marriage, which we were married seventeen years, he also could not have them because then that's all I would smell. And I was making out with him, so I'd be like, oh, did you have raw onions on your salad? And so he quit eating them, and he's sitting there watching me eat those, and he's like, I cannot believe I'm watching you eat raw red onions right now. And so I just looked up while seeing myself and I said, I cannot believe you're sitting here with us at this table at on site. And then they all laughed and he's like, yeah, yeah, you're not wrong. And I love that we were able to sort of poke fun at each other.

But and it wasn't passive aggressive, it was it was actually, you've worked through it so you can laugh about it kind of thing.

But and it wasn't passive aggressive, it was it was actually, you've worked through it so you can laugh about it kind of thing.

Yes, which is one of our goals as a family, which our guide took us through, what are your goals as a family, And one of it was that we are able to be playful and fun and have sarcasm, but to your point, not from a place of passive aggressiveness, because oftentimes in families when they're a sarcasm, there is a truth that is trying to be told that you don't have the guts I guess to say and a just direct this is how I feel way, So you use the sarcasm, which ends up potentially wounding the other person, and then a resentment builds up and you don't deal with it. We went through this whole hula hoop thing where you have different circles and you're in the hula hoop, and passive aggressive can show up in one of the hula hoops. I made sure we want to be the fun sarcastic. We can poke fun of each other family, but just make sure it's coming from a good place. Which that was a moment of that happening, and I share a part of that too, to just give hope that if you're not in the place you thought you were going to be in any relationship, time and patience. I was shocked that we were able to do what we did this last weekend, even with the growth that I've seen in our kids, and you just were at my house and saw me interact with Toashira, and you said you could feel a different energy from her.

Yes, which is one of our goals as a family, which our guide took us through, what are your goals as a family, And one of it was that we are able to be playful and fun and have sarcasm, but to your point, not from a place of passive aggressiveness, because oftentimes in families when they're a sarcasm, there is a truth that is trying to be told that you don't have the guts I guess to say and a just direct this is how I feel way, So you use the sarcasm, which ends up potentially wounding the other person, and then a resentment builds up and you don't deal with it. We went through this whole hula hoop thing where you have different circles and you're in the hula hoop, and passive aggressive can show up in one of the hula hoops. I made sure we want to be the fun sarcastic. We can poke fun of each other family, but just make sure it's coming from a good place. Which that was a moment of that happening, and I share a part of that too, to just give hope that if you're not in the place you thought you were going to be in any relationship, time and patience. I was shocked that we were able to do what we did this last weekend, even with the growth that I've seen in our kids, and you just were at my house and saw me interact with Toashira, and you said you could feel a different energy from her.

One hundred percent. The whole room felt different. So something worked while you were there.

One hundred percent. The whole room felt different. So something worked while you were there.

Well, we've also only been home for day to day, so we still have that. You know when you get home from church camp and you're all.

Well, we've also only been home for day to day, so we still have that. You know when you get home from church camp and you're all.

Yeah, high high on God, you're high on site, you're high off therapy. Right.

Yeah, high high on God, you're high on site, you're high off therapy. Right.

And one of the guides there, she wasn't our intensive guide, but she was the group leader, and she was awesome. She was in her sixties, a lot of life experience. I mean, she had been through a lot. She didn't even finish college until she was forty, so went back to school, got her degree. Is a therapist now. But it's not like she's been a therapist since she was you know, early twenties or mid whenever you got your license. Like she had a complete life disruption because of alcohol and drugs and marriages and all living on the streets. Wow, and then got her life together and got sober. And so she was our guide. So many great stories, great personality. And one thing she said to the group at one point that I'll never forget.

And one of the guides there, she wasn't our intensive guide, but she was the group leader, and she was awesome. She was in her sixties, a lot of life experience. I mean, she had been through a lot. She didn't even finish college until she was forty, so went back to school, got her degree. Is a therapist now. But it's not like she's been a therapist since she was you know, early twenties or mid whenever you got your license. Like she had a complete life disruption because of alcohol and drugs and marriages and all living on the streets. Wow, and then got her life together and got sober. And so she was our guide. So many great stories, great personality. And one thing she said to the group at one point that I'll never forget.

Wait, is this the quote?

Wait, is this the quote?

This is the quote?

This is the quote?

Did we miss the quote or we're getting to.

Did we miss the quote or we're getting to.

It and this is a quote finally getting to it. I know you've been waiting. You've been waiting now. The quote was the red onions. What a let down?

It and this is a quote finally getting to it. I know you've been waiting. You've been waiting now. The quote was the red onions. What a let down?

The quote was you saying we're not married? Wanh wah wah.

The quote was you saying we're not married? Wanh wah wah.

She said, I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them. And if that doesn't hit you in that one time, I'm saying, I'm gonna say it again. And her name was Kat.

She said, I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them. And if that doesn't hit you in that one time, I'm saying, I'm gonna say it again. And her name was Kat.

Two it was like me being there with you, right.

Two it was like me being there with you, right.

I thought of you all the time because she'd be like she would talk to herself, I'm Kat, but she would talk about her fourteen year old self too, and her fourteen year old self. If she has named that person, that's Felicia. Because when Felicia comes out, because she's from the Bronx, Okay, New York, like Cat, and then Kat went to University of Texas and Austin and now she lives in Santa Monica on the beach.

I thought of you all the time because she'd be like she would talk to herself, I'm Kat, but she would talk about her fourteen year old self too, and her fourteen year old self. If she has named that person, that's Felicia. Because when Felicia comes out, because she's from the Bronx, Okay, New York, like Cat, and then Kat went to University of Texas and Austin and now she lives in Santa Monica on the beach.

Different.

Different.

Cat's very different than Felicia. But sometimes, as you know as a therapist, when we are triggered, we go back to our younger selves, and she can go back to Felicia, real quick, and she has to keep awareness, so she knows, Okay, Felicia's here, and I'm gonna go ahead and like type this nasty email to whomever, and then we'll step in and I'm likely not going to press sin because Felicia will end up having to apologize for everything. But we all have that that younger self, and I thought it was cute that she gave it a name, and so I shared that too to encourage you, if you know you go back to some behavior that is younger, you just screaming to get a word in edge wise because you've been triggered. Give that in her child, that part of you a name. That way you can have a conversation with her and be like, okay, Tina, is that yours? I don't know. I haven't named mine yet. What would you name yours?

Cat's very different than Felicia. But sometimes, as you know as a therapist, when we are triggered, we go back to our younger selves, and she can go back to Felicia, real quick, and she has to keep awareness, so she knows, Okay, Felicia's here, and I'm gonna go ahead and like type this nasty email to whomever, and then we'll step in and I'm likely not going to press sin because Felicia will end up having to apologize for everything. But we all have that that younger self, and I thought it was cute that she gave it a name, and so I shared that too to encourage you, if you know you go back to some behavior that is younger, you just screaming to get a word in edge wise because you've been triggered. Give that in her child, that part of you a name. That way you can have a conversation with her and be like, okay, Tina, is that yours? I don't know. I haven't named mine yet. What would you name yours?

So I'm trying to think of because when I was younger, I have a name that I wanted my name to be, but I don't know if that fits the vibe. So when I was younger, with the age, I'm thinking that comes out a lot. Well, Actually I would have one for like elementary school me, and that would be like a sweet name. I don't know why Susie came to mind.

So I'm trying to think of because when I was younger, I have a name that I wanted my name to be, but I don't know if that fits the vibe. So when I was younger, with the age, I'm thinking that comes out a lot. Well, Actually I would have one for like elementary school me, and that would be like a sweet name. I don't know why Susie came to mind.

Oh because that is a sweet name, or like Mary.

Oh because that is a sweet name, or like Mary.

Or something like very sweet and innocent. And then my middle school high school name. I wanted my name to be Teresa Nicole or Stacy, but I feel like Teresa works Nicole. Teresa Nicole works. Yeah, yeah, because.

Or something like very sweet and innocent. And then my middle school high school name. I wanted my name to be Teresa Nicole or Stacy, but I feel like Teresa works Nicole. Teresa Nicole works. Yeah, yeah, because.

And also when you're triggered, you're not going back to Susie.

And also when you're triggered, you're not going back to Susie.

Well, when I get my feelings hurt, sometimes oh yeah, da, there are some like I'm thinking about if you said something that hurt me, it could hurt me as it's not me now that's getting hurt. It's this girl when I was in elementary school. So it would be like, oh, you just hurt Mary's feelings. But Mary needs to hear da da da da and be told this and all that. But if I get sassy or snappy or triggered in some way, that's high school and that's the protector of Mary, whose name is Teresa n Cole.

Well, when I get my feelings hurt, sometimes oh yeah, da, there are some like I'm thinking about if you said something that hurt me, it could hurt me as it's not me now that's getting hurt. It's this girl when I was in elementary school. So it would be like, oh, you just hurt Mary's feelings. But Mary needs to hear da da da da and be told this and all that. But if I get sassy or snappy or triggered in some way, that's high school and that's the protector of Mary, whose name is Teresa n Cole.

Now Teresa Nicole, which that reminds me. We have an email from a listener talking about her younger days, and I'll read that in a minute, but it's pretty powerful. I read it to my daughter before we came into record because I wanted her to hear it. But I am going to say cats quote one more time if it didn't hit you the first time. And I don't believe in miracles, I rely on them. This is coming from a woman who quite literally it's a miracle she was standing before us. And I think that's a beautiful way to look at life, is to just rely on miracles and ask for things. If you don't ask, you can't receive. And I was in a room full of people that were at their lowest of lows, most of them because they were desperate. There was a desperation there and they were googling like where to go to get help, and on site came up. It was interesting Ben and I being there when we're in a better place and such a healing even personally, not just together like we were there for our kids. So it felt very different. But there was this one woman the first night where she was so full of emotion just even walking in the room and knowing she was about to embark on this journey, she could not hold back the tears. And I was looking at her recross room and I was like, after this, I've got to get up and go give her a hug, and I would say, because I don't know her experience and I don't want to compare mine. So I had planned out of my head like I'm going to say, I don't know you, I don't know your story, and I know our stories are likely very very very different. However, your emotion and what you're experiencing and if there's she she even voiced something, so I knew she was experiencing some fear and just feeling so low. I was like, you are me in twenty twenty one, you are me. I couldn't walk barely anywhere. I even remember going on my birthday in my lowest lows two get a massage because I don't know if somebody gifted it to me or something. And I walked in and laid down on the table and she started bawling, crying in front of the therapists because I knew I was about to get a release, and she was like, what is happening? But I feel like that's what this woman was like, no matter where she goes. And I remember being so desperate back in twenty twenty one and my therapist saying, you need to go somewhere, which I did. I went away and Linda helped me. Linda in Virginia picked me up from an airport and never even met her, but I got help. But I felt that from her well the end of the night, I never went up to her, and every time I saw her after that the next few days, I was like, dang, I should have gone up to her, like I hope she's doing okay. But then I was like, I guess it wasn't the right time because I don't know, silly to think that my words could have mattered anyway, like I had that thought. And then we were leaving. We left a day earlier than everybody else because our program was different, and we ate our last meal, and we were walking to our cars. They valet your cars and hide them from you. That way you can't leave. Oh my gosh, which is hilarious. I think. At first I thought, oh, how cool they take our cars and park them for us. That's so nice and here wow. And then Kat made a joke one night when she was talking to all of us. She's like, I mean, think about it, guys, We've made it pretty difficult for y'all to get away.

Now Teresa Nicole, which that reminds me. We have an email from a listener talking about her younger days, and I'll read that in a minute, but it's pretty powerful. I read it to my daughter before we came into record because I wanted her to hear it. But I am going to say cats quote one more time if it didn't hit you the first time. And I don't believe in miracles, I rely on them. This is coming from a woman who quite literally it's a miracle she was standing before us. And I think that's a beautiful way to look at life, is to just rely on miracles and ask for things. If you don't ask, you can't receive. And I was in a room full of people that were at their lowest of lows, most of them because they were desperate. There was a desperation there and they were googling like where to go to get help, and on site came up. It was interesting Ben and I being there when we're in a better place and such a healing even personally, not just together like we were there for our kids. So it felt very different. But there was this one woman the first night where she was so full of emotion just even walking in the room and knowing she was about to embark on this journey, she could not hold back the tears. And I was looking at her recross room and I was like, after this, I've got to get up and go give her a hug, and I would say, because I don't know her experience and I don't want to compare mine. So I had planned out of my head like I'm going to say, I don't know you, I don't know your story, and I know our stories are likely very very very different. However, your emotion and what you're experiencing and if there's she she even voiced something, so I knew she was experiencing some fear and just feeling so low. I was like, you are me in twenty twenty one, you are me. I couldn't walk barely anywhere. I even remember going on my birthday in my lowest lows two get a massage because I don't know if somebody gifted it to me or something. And I walked in and laid down on the table and she started bawling, crying in front of the therapists because I knew I was about to get a release, and she was like, what is happening? But I feel like that's what this woman was like, no matter where she goes. And I remember being so desperate back in twenty twenty one and my therapist saying, you need to go somewhere, which I did. I went away and Linda helped me. Linda in Virginia picked me up from an airport and never even met her, but I got help. But I felt that from her well the end of the night, I never went up to her, and every time I saw her after that the next few days, I was like, dang, I should have gone up to her, like I hope she's doing okay. But then I was like, I guess it wasn't the right time because I don't know, silly to think that my words could have mattered anyway, like I had that thought. And then we were leaving. We left a day earlier than everybody else because our program was different, and we ate our last meal, and we were walking to our cars. They valet your cars and hide them from you. That way you can't leave. Oh my gosh, which is hilarious. I think. At first I thought, oh, how cool they take our cars and park them for us. That's so nice and here wow. And then Kat made a joke one night when she was talking to all of us. She's like, I mean, think about it, guys, We've made it pretty difficult for y'all to get away.

If you wanted to, you'd have to run away and it's like in the woods.

If you wanted to, you'd have to run away and it's like in the woods.

Yeah, you're in the middle of nowhere. So and I was like, oh, dang, they're not valeying our cars. They're straight up trying to get our keys.

Yeah, you're in the middle of nowhere. So and I was like, oh, dang, they're not valeying our cars. They're straight up trying to get our keys.

That's some healthy manipulation. Though.

That's some healthy manipulation. Though.

Yes, I was like, hmm clever because like I didn't even notice. I just thought, oh, why sure, you can take my car and all my things. You take my you have to turn in your phone, your computer, they have.

Yes, I was like, hmm clever because like I didn't even notice. I just thought, oh, why sure, you can take my car and all my things. You take my you have to turn in your phone, your computer, they have.

All your most expensive items. That's so nice of you to protect them.

All your most expensive items. That's so nice of you to protect them.

They're like, they're definitely gonna have to come back. So we finished our last meal and we're walking to our cars because we got our keys back and our phones back for our last meal, and I kept telling the kids they want to like pull out their phones. I was like, put your phones away, because nobody else here has their phones.

They're like, they're definitely gonna have to come back. So we finished our last meal and we're walking to our cars because we got our keys back and our phones back for our last meal, and I kept telling the kids they want to like pull out their phones. I was like, put your phones away, because nobody else here has their phones.

That's interesting. They gave you your phone back.

That's interesting. They gave you your phone back.

It's because our guide gives them back to us, and you were leaving. She thought we were going to leave after, but the kids loved the food, and dinner was like one more meal of thirty thirty minutes after we were done with our last session, and so I asked the we were doing outtake. I was like, are we allowed to stay for dinner? I don't know if that was included in our feet, but it should be. I didn't say this should be part, but I thought it. I thought it, and she said, oh yeah, yeah, y'all stay for dinner, but then after that you'll go because there's night time activities and we didn't get to produce it in that. So anyway, we ate, and then we are walking up the hill to our cars, and everybody else is in the dining hall, and who's walking down the hill by herself?

It's because our guide gives them back to us, and you were leaving. She thought we were going to leave after, but the kids loved the food, and dinner was like one more meal of thirty thirty minutes after we were done with our last session, and so I asked the we were doing outtake. I was like, are we allowed to stay for dinner? I don't know if that was included in our feet, but it should be. I didn't say this should be part, but I thought it. I thought it, and she said, oh yeah, yeah, y'all stay for dinner, but then after that you'll go because there's night time activities and we didn't get to produce it in that. So anyway, we ate, and then we are walking up the hill to our cars, and everybody else is in the dining hall, and who's walking down the hill by herself?

Lady that lady.

Lady that lady.

And I thought, Okay, now's the time. This is what I'm supposed to do. So I go over and I said, hey, you know, I haven't really got to talk to you the last few days. You don't know me. I was like, bet, I'm Amy, and I remember the first night. I was just connected to you and your tears and watching you, and when you spoke I could relate so much to what you were saying. And I don't know your full story. I kind of said what I originally was going to say, I said, but you were me in twenty twenty one, So I said, I'm looking at you right now stronger than I've ever been, and I am hope that you will get past this. This is just the beginning, I said. I actually don't think it's going to get easier for you for a little bit, because you're putting in the hard work and that will continue and it will get overwhelming, I said, But the fact that I'm able to stand before you right now and I'm like, I can get through this sort of stuff. Like I didn't really cry all weekend. We had a touching moment with the kids that where we got emotional, but I wasn't in a broken place. I was more in an excited place to become a better mom for them, so it wasn't about my brokenness. And she looked at me and her eyes filled up with water and she just said, you were sent at the perfect time, because I told her I wanted to say that the first night and I didn't, And she said, I just left my guide saying this feels like so much, almost hopeless, And then she walked out to go meet her group for dinner, and she was walking by herself and then I appear saying there's hope, and so I was like, well, this is a god moment that lord right, I was like, because I almost didn't. I didn't say to you the first night, and I thought, oh, well, that'd be so stupid. Who am I to think like I'm going to go over there and tell her this is hope.

And I thought, Okay, now's the time. This is what I'm supposed to do. So I go over and I said, hey, you know, I haven't really got to talk to you the last few days. You don't know me. I was like, bet, I'm Amy, and I remember the first night. I was just connected to you and your tears and watching you, and when you spoke I could relate so much to what you were saying. And I don't know your full story. I kind of said what I originally was going to say, I said, but you were me in twenty twenty one, So I said, I'm looking at you right now stronger than I've ever been, and I am hope that you will get past this. This is just the beginning, I said. I actually don't think it's going to get easier for you for a little bit, because you're putting in the hard work and that will continue and it will get overwhelming, I said, But the fact that I'm able to stand before you right now and I'm like, I can get through this sort of stuff. Like I didn't really cry all weekend. We had a touching moment with the kids that where we got emotional, but I wasn't in a broken place. I was more in an excited place to become a better mom for them, so it wasn't about my brokenness. And she looked at me and her eyes filled up with water and she just said, you were sent at the perfect time, because I told her I wanted to say that the first night and I didn't, And she said, I just left my guide saying this feels like so much, almost hopeless, And then she walked out to go meet her group for dinner, and she was walking by herself and then I appear saying there's hope, and so I was like, well, this is a god moment that lord right, I was like, because I almost didn't. I didn't say to you the first night, and I thought, oh, well, that'd be so stupid. Who am I to think like I'm going to go over there and tell her this is hope.

But also reframing that now hearing the full story is maybe that was your intuition. It wasn't you being like chickening out or whatever. It's like your intuition being like, wait, but you're used to talking to yourself in a different way when really you had a feeling that this wasn't the right time, and then when it was the right time you did it. You had like the current, like whoever or whatever gave you the courage to finally go up and do that when the time was right. I might feel really small to somebody, but hearing you tell the story feels like a crazy all the things that had to line up for that to happen the way it needed to happen. And I'm sure that woman got so many amazing tools and experiences and things from on site, but that might be the most Oh wow, I'm not trying to like pump you up. I'm thinking like the moments of my life where I have been. At my lowest, all I wanted was somebody that I could look at and say, they are where I was and they're not there anymore. It's all I needed, and I would search high and low for those things. That's why I listen to so much sad music when I am sad, because I find people who I don't see that way anymore, like, oh, they wrote this sad song, but look at them now kind of thing. And that would have changed my life if somebody came up to me and said, like, look at where my life was and I'm not there anymore. This feels hopeless, but things do change. It's so hard to see that in yourself when you're in those I mean, you.

But also reframing that now hearing the full story is maybe that was your intuition. It wasn't you being like chickening out or whatever. It's like your intuition being like, wait, but you're used to talking to yourself in a different way when really you had a feeling that this wasn't the right time, and then when it was the right time you did it. You had like the current, like whoever or whatever gave you the courage to finally go up and do that when the time was right. I might feel really small to somebody, but hearing you tell the story feels like a crazy all the things that had to line up for that to happen the way it needed to happen. And I'm sure that woman got so many amazing tools and experiences and things from on site, but that might be the most Oh wow, I'm not trying to like pump you up. I'm thinking like the moments of my life where I have been. At my lowest, all I wanted was somebody that I could look at and say, they are where I was and they're not there anymore. It's all I needed, and I would search high and low for those things. That's why I listen to so much sad music when I am sad, because I find people who I don't see that way anymore, like, oh, they wrote this sad song, but look at them now kind of thing. And that would have changed my life if somebody came up to me and said, like, look at where my life was and I'm not there anymore. This feels hopeless, but things do change. It's so hard to see that in yourself when you're in those I mean, you.

Know, oh, I know, I know, and I know that there's people that impacted my journey and all of that and will in the future. There's highs and lows in life. I happen to be in a good place now, but I know hard times will come. I feel better equipped now, though I hope I pray, but don't have to experience the lows that I did at that time because of the work that I've done. It will still be pain kind of low.

Know, oh, I know, I know, and I know that there's people that impacted my journey and all of that and will in the future. There's highs and lows in life. I happen to be in a good place now, but I know hard times will come. I feel better equipped now, though I hope I pray, but don't have to experience the lows that I did at that time because of the work that I've done. It will still be pain kind of low.

Yeah, probably won't.

Yeah, probably won't.

Hit me different if I really think through like how I'm trying to say this, it's just that maybe I'll bounce back in a different way, like just I mean, there's no time to healing because it's going to look different for everybody. But I just think, yeah, if you can.

Hit me different if I really think through like how I'm trying to say this, it's just that maybe I'll bounce back in a different way, like just I mean, there's no time to healing because it's going to look different for everybody. But I just think, yeah, if you can.

Do, you know, things don't stay there in the same way, Like you have more experience of understanding that things get better and it won't always be this way.

Do, you know, things don't stay there in the same way, Like you have more experience of understanding that things get better and it won't always be this way.

One thing she shared in Feeling Hopeless is that like her desire to even do all this work because of how she feels, she's so tired, and she's like, I don't want to hurt myself, but I'm okay if I get hurt. I don't want to share exactly what she said, so I'll share my story, which is very similar, And so I was able to say to her, I know exactly what you're talking about, and I never wanted to hurt myself, but I was okay if I was driving down the highway and an eighteen wheeler smashed into me, and I would be okay with dying, I said. And I stand before you right now telling you I would not be okay with dying right now, and you will get here, and so yeah, it's just thankful to be able to use that moment, which is another example of how you're yes, your pain is not lost because what I went through, it's like if it was for that one moment to help a stranger. I mean, she is a stranger. I don't know her, like walking down the hill to dinner, and she's going to be able to do that for somebody one day. I know she's ready, like you can tell when someone's just ready to through the work and wants a better life. Which that's something that Stashira brought up. We had to come up with questions, and our guide was actually going to go a different direction with our family, but Stashira shared the question she had for herself. We all just did it silently, like come up with the question for yourself, and so we got back to the room with our guide. Our guide said, oh, so, ster Shia, what was your question? She said, I want to I want to know how to live a more fulfilling life. And then that set the tone for what we're going to do, and our therapist even said, Okay, this is going to look a little different, but I think this is great. We should stick with this. And it was exactly what our family needed. And so I credited to Shira, to the course of the work, to the course of the weekend. Yeah, and everything we learned. And you know, my kids are on spring break this week, so they're with their dad, but they were at my house today mostly because they were out trying to get their their dopamine.

One thing she shared in Feeling Hopeless is that like her desire to even do all this work because of how she feels, she's so tired, and she's like, I don't want to hurt myself, but I'm okay if I get hurt. I don't want to share exactly what she said, so I'll share my story, which is very similar, And so I was able to say to her, I know exactly what you're talking about, and I never wanted to hurt myself, but I was okay if I was driving down the highway and an eighteen wheeler smashed into me, and I would be okay with dying, I said. And I stand before you right now telling you I would not be okay with dying right now, and you will get here, and so yeah, it's just thankful to be able to use that moment, which is another example of how you're yes, your pain is not lost because what I went through, it's like if it was for that one moment to help a stranger. I mean, she is a stranger. I don't know her, like walking down the hill to dinner, and she's going to be able to do that for somebody one day. I know she's ready, like you can tell when someone's just ready to through the work and wants a better life. Which that's something that Stashira brought up. We had to come up with questions, and our guide was actually going to go a different direction with our family, but Stashira shared the question she had for herself. We all just did it silently, like come up with the question for yourself, and so we got back to the room with our guide. Our guide said, oh, so, ster Shia, what was your question? She said, I want to I want to know how to live a more fulfilling life. And then that set the tone for what we're going to do, and our therapist even said, Okay, this is going to look a little different, but I think this is great. We should stick with this. And it was exactly what our family needed. And so I credited to Shira, to the course of the work, to the course of the weekend. Yeah, and everything we learned. And you know, my kids are on spring break this week, so they're with their dad, but they were at my house today mostly because they were out trying to get their their dopamine.

She was like, we're doing it.

She was like, we're doing it.

We're doing it because our barrafist or our guide gave us a list of dopamine activities and maybe next week we can go over the full list, because I think that's something good to talk about because you and i've talked about dopamine before. I know things that give us a dopamine hit and then drop us real quick, and I didn't know there's stuff like in the this our guide called it like crash out, which means you don't really even get any dopamine from it. You're just like you're flatlined, like good luck getting any feeling, really, And then there are more sustainable things where you get a dopamine hit, but it lasts a lot longer. And that's what we want the kids to focus on, because if you want happiness as a feeling, so that's fleeting, you're not always going to be happy, but if you can keep your dopamain levels more steady, and if she said, if you've got a checklist at home and kids can look at it and be like, oh, that's an activity I can go do right now, that's going to serve me in the long run better. And so that's the kids were doing their their dopamine activity, which they were out in a walk getting sunshine at the park. And then she came back and she was having some Macha tea, which I think also will bring her a little bit of joy.

We're doing it because our barrafist or our guide gave us a list of dopamine activities and maybe next week we can go over the full list, because I think that's something good to talk about because you and i've talked about dopamine before. I know things that give us a dopamine hit and then drop us real quick, and I didn't know there's stuff like in the this our guide called it like crash out, which means you don't really even get any dopamine from it. You're just like you're flatlined, like good luck getting any feeling, really, And then there are more sustainable things where you get a dopamine hit, but it lasts a lot longer. And that's what we want the kids to focus on, because if you want happiness as a feeling, so that's fleeting, you're not always going to be happy, but if you can keep your dopamain levels more steady, and if she said, if you've got a checklist at home and kids can look at it and be like, oh, that's an activity I can go do right now, that's going to serve me in the long run better. And so that's the kids were doing their their dopamine activity, which they were out in a walk getting sunshine at the park. And then she came back and she was having some Macha tea, which I think also will bring her a little bit of joy.

I think there's some things and we can again talk about this another episode that we think are releasing that dopamine or we think are doing that getting that same effect that we want, But it's just helping you dissociate. And that's where you just like hit a dead end. And then sometimes there's things that we need to do that we just need leg zone out. But then that's very different than what you're talking about, which is increasing the good feelings and the motivation and all that that we have to live our lives and do the things we want.

I think there's some things and we can again talk about this another episode that we think are releasing that dopamine or we think are doing that getting that same effect that we want, But it's just helping you dissociate. And that's where you just like hit a dead end. And then sometimes there's things that we need to do that we just need leg zone out. But then that's very different than what you're talking about, which is increasing the good feelings and the motivation and all that that we have to live our lives and do the things we want.

To do right. And that's probably why when she walked in, you saw it differentelt different energy because all weekend we weren't on phones, we weren't on screens. We did equine therapy, We worked with horses. Both the kids loved it. And you know, I how a horse on my vision board. Yeah, and I think Whylan the therapy horse at on site. I was like, this could have been there on my vision board and now and the ein therapist there gave us a place to reach out to that works with kids that have trauma, and we can keep doing that, keep doing that. And maybe because the kids loved it and so they both want to ride, and now I'm like, okay, cool, another hobby that's not in front of the TV. And the list of places he gave too, which I know equestrian type stuff. In my mind, it seems expensive. So I don't really know that we're going like we're not going to be like professionally riding and jumping or anything. What I'm talking about is just working with horses and riding them in a therapeutic way. And there's so many, at least according to our therapist, places that offer that, so it may not cost that much. So if you don't have the resources, you likely can go for free, which is good to know. And I mean, I'm sure that's all around the country. There's different places. You just have to ask and know where to ask. I do have that email that I want to read. I'm and to just use initials because I haven't heard back yet if we have full blown permission. This is from JV listening in Nebraska. Wow, I'm listening to protecting your energy boundaries, work maturity, and the power of a good shower. When you brought up the dolphin story from middle school, it immediately sent me to eighth grade. One day, my best friend gave me a letter tearing me apart by addressing all my insecurities in front of all the girls in the locker room. After Jim, then one of my best guy friends turned on me too and nicknamed me Scooby and would bark at me all over school whenever he would see me, recruiting more of our friends to do it as well. The tipping point was when we were all in Jim during our pe hour. It was before Christmas, and he had one of the guys bring me over a gift wrapped doggie treat bowl in front of everyone, and they all proceeded to me across the gym. It was a rough year, to say the least. I was able to move past it and build stronger bonds with different friends that have actually lasted to this day. That was twenty nine years ago. Now I have bonus kids and one of my own, and I don't stand for any Bowlly activity. I've told the kids my story and made sure they know this house doesn't stand for it. Not sure why I'm sharing this with you other than your dolphin story made me relate to you a little more. Thanks for all that you guys addressed and the casual way you go about it. I love getting to laugh with you two when you go off on your tangents and you're a genuine with your thoughts. Ps. There's a screenshot folder in your albums on your phone, which we'll address that in a second, but that's from JB from Nebraska. So the screenshot thing is because I was talking about I Believe my ADHD and having like tons and tons of screenshots, so I knew there was a folder, but you didn't know there was no folder.

To do right. And that's probably why when she walked in, you saw it differentelt different energy because all weekend we weren't on phones, we weren't on screens. We did equine therapy, We worked with horses. Both the kids loved it. And you know, I how a horse on my vision board. Yeah, and I think Whylan the therapy horse at on site. I was like, this could have been there on my vision board and now and the ein therapist there gave us a place to reach out to that works with kids that have trauma, and we can keep doing that, keep doing that. And maybe because the kids loved it and so they both want to ride, and now I'm like, okay, cool, another hobby that's not in front of the TV. And the list of places he gave too, which I know equestrian type stuff. In my mind, it seems expensive. So I don't really know that we're going like we're not going to be like professionally riding and jumping or anything. What I'm talking about is just working with horses and riding them in a therapeutic way. And there's so many, at least according to our therapist, places that offer that, so it may not cost that much. So if you don't have the resources, you likely can go for free, which is good to know. And I mean, I'm sure that's all around the country. There's different places. You just have to ask and know where to ask. I do have that email that I want to read. I'm and to just use initials because I haven't heard back yet if we have full blown permission. This is from JV listening in Nebraska. Wow, I'm listening to protecting your energy boundaries, work maturity, and the power of a good shower. When you brought up the dolphin story from middle school, it immediately sent me to eighth grade. One day, my best friend gave me a letter tearing me apart by addressing all my insecurities in front of all the girls in the locker room. After Jim, then one of my best guy friends turned on me too and nicknamed me Scooby and would bark at me all over school whenever he would see me, recruiting more of our friends to do it as well. The tipping point was when we were all in Jim during our pe hour. It was before Christmas, and he had one of the guys bring me over a gift wrapped doggie treat bowl in front of everyone, and they all proceeded to me across the gym. It was a rough year, to say the least. I was able to move past it and build stronger bonds with different friends that have actually lasted to this day. That was twenty nine years ago. Now I have bonus kids and one of my own, and I don't stand for any Bowlly activity. I've told the kids my story and made sure they know this house doesn't stand for it. Not sure why I'm sharing this with you other than your dolphin story made me relate to you a little more. Thanks for all that you guys addressed and the casual way you go about it. I love getting to laugh with you two when you go off on your tangents and you're a genuine with your thoughts. Ps. There's a screenshot folder in your albums on your phone, which we'll address that in a second, but that's from JB from Nebraska. So the screenshot thing is because I was talking about I Believe my ADHD and having like tons and tons of screenshots, so I knew there was a folder, but you didn't know there was no folder.

I didn't know that, and that makes it one easier to find things, but also either to delete all the screen shots that I don't need anymore because there's so so many So thank you for that tip.

I didn't know that, and that makes it one easier to find things, but also either to delete all the screen shots that I don't need anymore because there's so so many So thank you for that tip.

I did not know that shout out JB. I'm very sorry that that was your experience, and I do know why you were emailing it to me so that I could read your email to my daughter, because I think it's cool to see that you had a really horrible experience, but you didn't be like, Okay, well there's no other friend groups and you were able to find other quality friends that you are friends with to this day, because I think sometimes the teenage brain just thinks, oh my gosh, like, who will I be friends with if it's not these people, And when you're not having a great friend experience, it's good to know that other people had are really bad. I mean, your best friend completely turned on you, and you were able to find another friend group that has lasted twenty nine years, which is great, And I just I want my daughter to know that because even I can say, look, I know how hard it is I was your age, but to hear it from somebody else and who had such a horrible experience but still came out on the other side with friends, it's just with friends, it's hope. Yeah, with friends, because I know that's not the case always. It's not always easy that you find that friend group. But this is just a story of hope.

I did not know that shout out JB. I'm very sorry that that was your experience, and I do know why you were emailing it to me so that I could read your email to my daughter, because I think it's cool to see that you had a really horrible experience, but you didn't be like, Okay, well there's no other friend groups and you were able to find other quality friends that you are friends with to this day, because I think sometimes the teenage brain just thinks, oh my gosh, like, who will I be friends with if it's not these people, And when you're not having a great friend experience, it's good to know that other people had are really bad. I mean, your best friend completely turned on you, and you were able to find another friend group that has lasted twenty nine years, which is great, And I just I want my daughter to know that because even I can say, look, I know how hard it is I was your age, but to hear it from somebody else and who had such a horrible experience but still came out on the other side with friends, it's just with friends, it's hope. Yeah, with friends, because I know that's not the case always. It's not always easy that you find that friend group. But this is just a story of hope.

I think this shows up in pockets as adults too, but more so it's saturated. When we're in that stage of development as teenagers. Your friend group is like survival, Like to survive high school, you have to have somebody to sit with that lunch, You have to have people to hang out on the weekends. You have to like it is survival, and so sometimes it feels like you have to and I know I felt this, I have to make this work or this is what it's supposed to be like, or so you just settle yeah, or it's like yeah, it's the fear of the unknown is scarier than like what I have now, and like, yes, these friends aren't great, but it's better than not having anybody to sit with that lunch. So I think we accept things out of that kind of fear or out of that survival, and we do that again like as as adults too, but it is helpful I think for people that are in that stage to hear people who are not in that stage anymore say like, hey, it actually wasn't better to just withstand that. I was able to find other people. It was. Yeah, probably scary at first when you're branching out or you're declining that party to go hang out with this other friend. But in the end, look, I think this is a good example of it can work out for you. And I know that fear an.

I think this shows up in pockets as adults too, but more so it's saturated. When we're in that stage of development as teenagers. Your friend group is like survival, Like to survive high school, you have to have somebody to sit with that lunch, You have to have people to hang out on the weekends. You have to like it is survival, and so sometimes it feels like you have to and I know I felt this, I have to make this work or this is what it's supposed to be like, or so you just settle yeah, or it's like yeah, it's the fear of the unknown is scarier than like what I have now, and like, yes, these friends aren't great, but it's better than not having anybody to sit with that lunch. So I think we accept things out of that kind of fear or out of that survival, and we do that again like as as adults too, but it is helpful I think for people that are in that stage to hear people who are not in that stage anymore say like, hey, it actually wasn't better to just withstand that. I was able to find other people. It was. Yeah, probably scary at first when you're branching out or you're declining that party to go hang out with this other friend. But in the end, look, I think this is a good example of it can work out for you. And I know that fear an.

Eighth grade story, but honestly, these words could be for a forty to fifty.

Eighth grade story, but honestly, these words could be for a forty to fifty.

Yeah right now, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah right now, that's what I'm saying.

It transcends you to friend group or you got to switch things up or switch jobs or switch you're hanging out with at work.

It transcends you to friend group or you got to switch things up or switch jobs or switch you're hanging out with at work.

Like that should be nobody's group of friends. Like somebody that would do that now, nobody should have to sit through that or withstand that or accept it.

Like that should be nobody's group of friends. Like somebody that would do that now, nobody should have to sit through that or withstand that or accept it.

Speaking of sitting through things, I gotta get a different position because my tailbone's bothering me.

Speaking of sitting through things, I gotta get a different position because my tailbone's bothering me.

No, do you want to move?

No, do you want to move?

Have you ever felt my tailbone?

Have you ever felt my tailbone?

You have a tail Yeah? Yeah, your tailbone tail?

You have a tail Yeah? Yeah, your tailbone tail?

Well, it's my bone just protrudes from my tailbone region extra than yours. No, I think it's tilted. I don't think I have extra bone. I mean, maybe it's a little bigger, but I think it's just the way Mine tilts.

Well, it's my bone just protrudes from my tailbone region extra than yours. No, I think it's tilted. I don't think I have extra bone. I mean, maybe it's a little bigger, but I think it's just the way Mine tilts.

Can you fix that with a chiropractor?

Can you fix that with a chiropractor?

I did get a DM from a listener saying that, like your hamstrings could play a role in that, because I think I was talking on the Bobby Bone Show about how I had really tight hamstrings. And I'm just recalling this DM from memory, but I feel like she said something about her daughter having tight hamstrings and she took her to a doctor and the physical therapist like worked on her hamstrings and it kind of reset the issues with the tailbone.

I did get a DM from a listener saying that, like your hamstrings could play a role in that, because I think I was talking on the Bobby Bone Show about how I had really tight hamstrings. And I'm just recalling this DM from memory, but I feel like she said something about her daughter having tight hamstrings and she took her to a doctor and the physical therapist like worked on her hamstrings and it kind of reset the issues with the tailbone.

I wonder if it's could be related to pelvic floor stuff too, because all of that's connected.

I wonder if it's could be related to pelvic floor stuff too, because all of that's connected.

You gonna think I'm crazy, what huh? Because I don't even know if I believe this because I haven't even googled it yet. Obviously if I google it, then it's gonna be true. Just kidding, because it's not. Everything you find on the internet is real.

You gonna think I'm crazy, what huh? Because I don't even know if I believe this because I haven't even googled it yet. Obviously if I google it, then it's gonna be true. Just kidding, because it's not. Everything you find on the internet is real.

But get this.

But get this.

Do you know I'm doing facefitness? Of course you're relating this back to facemitness well, because you're bringing up the pelic floor and I hadn't even put any.

Do you know I'm doing facefitness? Of course you're relating this back to facemitness well, because you're bringing up the pelic floor and I hadn't even put any.

Of this together. Is your face fitness connected to your public floor? Well?

Of this together. Is your face fitness connected to your public floor? Well?

The chin area? Apparently there's this one exercise where you stick your thumb under your chin and you put your fingers like on top of your chin area below your lip, like you pinched that part of your chin, and you slowly massage the muscle that's right here. And she said, be careful. This doesn't happen to everybody, but you're gonna have to learn your tolerance because this will leave a bruise, even though you don't even feel like you're pressing that hard on your chin, on your chin, the tip of the chin. And I thought, I'm probably not gonna get a bruise, so I go ahead and give it a good massage. Again, it's not painful, nothing should hurt. I'm what results, so I give I make sure that I'm doing it hard. Well, well, guess what, you got a bruise. I teens any bruise on the tip of my chin. But what she said was if you do notice that, you get a bruise. But again, I'm not going to get a bruise. So I wasn't really paying attention. She said it could mean you have pelvic floor issues.

The chin area? Apparently there's this one exercise where you stick your thumb under your chin and you put your fingers like on top of your chin area below your lip, like you pinched that part of your chin, and you slowly massage the muscle that's right here. And she said, be careful. This doesn't happen to everybody, but you're gonna have to learn your tolerance because this will leave a bruise, even though you don't even feel like you're pressing that hard on your chin, on your chin, the tip of the chin. And I thought, I'm probably not gonna get a bruise, so I go ahead and give it a good massage. Again, it's not painful, nothing should hurt. I'm what results, so I give I make sure that I'm doing it hard. Well, well, guess what, you got a bruise. I teens any bruise on the tip of my chin. But what she said was if you do notice that, you get a bruise. But again, I'm not going to get a bruise. So I wasn't really paying attention. She said it could mean you have pelvic floor issues.

Shut up. I swear, okay, I would look into that.

Shut up. I swear, okay, I would look into that.

But I was like, oh, I should go once the bruise popped up, I'm like, well, I guess I gotta look into my pelvic floor issues.

But I was like, oh, I should go once the bruise popped up, I'm like, well, I guess I gotta look into my pelvic floor issues.

Wait you should, Okay, public floor in general, I think is a newer It's not newer because it's been part of our bodies forever, but prominent. Also, yes, yes, yes, yes, I don't know why I didn't bring this up when that happened.

Wait you should, Okay, public floor in general, I think is a newer It's not newer because it's been part of our bodies forever, but prominent. Also, yes, yes, yes, yes, I don't know why I didn't bring this up when that happened.

Well, I don't know why either. I just thought, as you get older, and then I never had a baby, so then I was like, why am I doing this, because you know that's a public floor trampoline. But I was going to the bathroom and I thought I had plenty of time, and then I didn't.

Well, I don't know why either. I just thought, as you get older, and then I never had a baby, so then I was like, why am I doing this, because you know that's a public floor trampoline. But I was going to the bathroom and I thought I had plenty of time, and then I didn't.

So okay. I went to pelvic floor therapy for over a year and I'll probably go back again. And I learned so much just in my first session about how connected everything is in the body, and thinking like the things that I think are problematic are and the things that reverse that. But I, you know, have told you that I also hold my pee, and she's like, that's so one of the worst things you can do. She also told me, because they see people for all kinds of things, things that you wouldn't think are connected to that, and she was telling me all the things that she does and the type of people she works with, and I go, oh, my gosh, So like all the stories we hear about people who have given birth and then now they pee every time they jump or a run or whatever. She's like, you mean those people don't have to live like that, and she said absolutely not. That can be healed. But nobody is talking about it. And this isn't like a prominent thing that people do, and so they don't think there's a solution to it. But there is a hundred percent a solution. So if you guys are listening out there and you're like I can't run anymore, I can't jump on a trampling with my kids or you know, jump rope anything, you can go to public four therapy and they can work on that.

So okay. I went to pelvic floor therapy for over a year and I'll probably go back again. And I learned so much just in my first session about how connected everything is in the body, and thinking like the things that I think are problematic are and the things that reverse that. But I, you know, have told you that I also hold my pee, and she's like, that's so one of the worst things you can do. She also told me, because they see people for all kinds of things, things that you wouldn't think are connected to that, and she was telling me all the things that she does and the type of people she works with, and I go, oh, my gosh, So like all the stories we hear about people who have given birth and then now they pee every time they jump or a run or whatever. She's like, you mean those people don't have to live like that, and she said absolutely not. That can be healed. But nobody is talking about it. And this isn't like a prominent thing that people do, and so they don't think there's a solution to it. But there is a hundred percent a solution. So if you guys are listening out there and you're like I can't run anymore, I can't jump on a trampling with my kids or you know, jump rope anything, you can go to public four therapy and they can work on that.

Well, my friend Tiffany who's magic I do a lot of work with in Haiti, she is a public floor therapist. She lives in San Marcos, Texas. So if you live there, look up Tiffany Lee. But I need to text her and be like, do I need to go to a public floor therapist here in Nashville because I have it here. So what happened to my chin my face fitness and also my tailbone. Yea, it is weird and I apparently my hamstrings are tied and an a pee.

Well, my friend Tiffany who's magic I do a lot of work with in Haiti, she is a public floor therapist. She lives in San Marcos, Texas. So if you live there, look up Tiffany Lee. But I need to text her and be like, do I need to go to a public floor therapist here in Nashville because I have it here. So what happened to my chin my face fitness and also my tailbone. Yea, it is weird and I apparently my hamstrings are tied and an a pee.

I wonder what would happen if you call, If you called somewhere and they're like, so, what brings you in? You're like, well, I got a bruise on my chin, like wait what?

I wonder what would happen if you call, If you called somewhere and they're like, so, what brings you in? You're like, well, I got a bruise on my chin, like wait what?

And I'd be like, you know, I'm doing face fitness and like a broken record, so you know I'm doing f fitness.

And I'd be like, you know, I'm doing face fitness and like a broken record, so you know I'm doing f fitness.

Wait. I think you should look into that. And I also think that would be a really good conversation to have an expert come in and talk about that with us. It's fascinating to me.

Wait. I think you should look into that. And I also think that would be a really good conversation to have an expert come in and talk about that with us. It's fascinating to me.

My friend Tiffany can Yeah, that would be perfect to come to Nashville. Be like, Tiffany, give us the breakdown. She's funny, too perfect.

My friend Tiffany can Yeah, that would be perfect to come to Nashville. Be like, Tiffany, give us the breakdown. She's funny, too perfect.

I do want to circle back to something though. This is a little off topic now, but I was thinking, as you were talking about on site and sharing some of that, this is a little on the other side of that for you. But I'm curious how your boyfriend felt or what that was like, even the conversation of telling him you're going, Because doing it's intensive with your not husband.

I do want to circle back to something though. This is a little off topic now, but I was thinking, as you were talking about on site and sharing some of that, this is a little on the other side of that for you. But I'm curious how your boyfriend felt or what that was like, even the conversation of telling him you're going, Because doing it's intensive with your not husband.

And we had no phones. Oh yeah, that's the longest we've ever gone without talking.

And we had no phones. Oh yeah, that's the longest we've ever gone without talking.

Well, so how how he felt and how that conversation went, and then also how you felt doing that.

Well, so how how he felt and how that conversation went, and then also how you felt doing that.

Oh he right away said you have to go, Like that's so great, you'll have to do it. And he's like, I wouldn't be with you if I didn't trust you, So go, this is awesome.

Oh he right away said you have to go, Like that's so great, you'll have to do it. And he's like, I wouldn't be with you if I didn't trust you, So go, this is awesome.

Sounds healthy. Yeah, and then so was that for you not getting to talk to him, because I'm sure there's things that you wanted to text him and share with him. Yeah.

Sounds healthy. Yeah, and then so was that for you not getting to talk to him, because I'm sure there's things that you wanted to text him and share with him. Yeah.

And then now he's on spring break, Like I got back and he's on spring break with his kids and they're on this big family trip with like his dad and his sister and their kids. Like there's the whole family is there, and they're in totally different time zones. Like, this is the longest I've been without talking to him and seeing him because I'm not going to see him till Sunday.

And then now he's on spring break, Like I got back and he's on spring break with his kids and they're on this big family trip with like his dad and his sister and their kids. Like there's the whole family is there, and they're in totally different time zones. Like, this is the longest I've been without talking to him and seeing him because I'm not going to see him till Sunday.