Pick up the pieces of your life, put them back together with the words you write, all the beauty and peace and the magic that you'll start too fun when you write your story. You get the words and said, don't you think it's time to let them out and write them down and cover what it's all about.

Pick up the pieces of your life, put them back together with the words you write, all the beauty and peace and the magic that you'll start too fun when you write your story. You get the words and said, don't you think it's time to let them out and write them down and cover what it's all about.

And write your story.

And write your story.

Write, Write your story.

Write, Write your story.

Hi, and welcome back to the Write Your Story Podcast. This is Ali Fallon. I'm your host, and today I'm in the studio with my husband Matt.

Hi, and welcome back to the Write Your Story Podcast. This is Ali Fallon. I'm your host, and today I'm in the studio with my husband Matt.

Hello.

Hello.

The reason we're here is because several weeks ago, I was talking about what I'm doing on the podcast and you said something to me. I don't know if you remember this, but you you said, why don't you record an episode where you talk about a story from your life and talk about how you would organize that into a story structure, a narrative structure. And I was like, that's an excellent idea. You should come on the podcast and do that with me, because I see, we have been living through a story together for the last three well, we got married in November of twenty nineteen, Yeah, and we got kind of launched into a story that we're writing and living together. And I thought it would be fun for us to talk a little bit about that. I'm nervous to talk about it because a lot of what is included in the story is well just details that we haven't really shared publicly. Sure, so we've talked about like little parts of it, but not really the whole thing. So I thought it'd be fun to get you here, and I've prepped you zero like zero zero, and.

The reason we're here is because several weeks ago, I was talking about what I'm doing on the podcast and you said something to me. I don't know if you remember this, but you you said, why don't you record an episode where you talk about a story from your life and talk about how you would organize that into a story structure, a narrative structure. And I was like, that's an excellent idea. You should come on the podcast and do that with me, because I see, we have been living through a story together for the last three well, we got married in November of twenty nineteen, Yeah, and we got kind of launched into a story that we're writing and living together. And I thought it would be fun for us to talk a little bit about that. I'm nervous to talk about it because a lot of what is included in the story is well just details that we haven't really shared publicly. Sure, so we've talked about like little parts of it, but not really the whole thing. So I thought it'd be fun to get you here, and I've prepped you zero like zero zero, and.

I did ask you, is there anything I should be doing? You're like, no, no, no, show up.

I did ask you, is there anything I should be doing? You're like, no, no, no, show up.

Well, part of the reason for that is I have felt like I really want this podcast to be organic. The format is really different than anything I've ever done before. A lot of times in the past when I've done podcast episodes, it's been like a lot of prep time ahead of time, a set of questions that we answer, and there's nothing wrong with that. But I've really wanted this to be more organic, and so I wanted to just like talk and see how the story unfolds.

Well, part of the reason for that is I have felt like I really want this podcast to be organic. The format is really different than anything I've ever done before. A lot of times in the past when I've done podcast episodes, it's been like a lot of prep time ahead of time, a set of questions that we answer, and there's nothing wrong with that. But I've really wanted this to be more organic, and so I wanted to just like talk and see how the story unfolds.

Okay, you're gonna have to lead this.

Okay, you're gonna have to lead this.

I'm going to lead it. I'm leading. This is me leading.

I'm going to lead it. I'm leading. This is me leading.

Yeah, let's rewind back to what I would call the beginning of a story. Actually, I'll ask you, when do you feel like the story started, this story that we're living.

Yeah, let's rewind back to what I would call the beginning of a story. Actually, I'll ask you, when do you feel like the story started, this story that we're living.

On our honeymoon.

On our honeymoon.

Okay, tell me more.

Okay, tell me more.

We got pregnant on our wedding night, and that was November eighth, twenty nineteen, and it's felt like that bit of news. So we learned that news. I want to say, like two weeks into what we did. We did very long. We didn't extend this honeymoon, which was very nice, which.

We got pregnant on our wedding night, and that was November eighth, twenty nineteen, and it's felt like that bit of news. So we learned that news. I want to say, like two weeks into what we did. We did very long. We didn't extend this honeymoon, which was very nice, which.

In retrospect was really smart of us, because we were like, we might as well go on a long trip.

In retrospect was really smart of us, because we were like, we might as well go on a long trip.

Now.

Now.

We knew we wanted to start our family right away, and so we figured we didn't know when we'd have another chance to do it. Yeah, what we didn't know is that we were about to get pregnant and about to go into a global lockdown.

We knew we wanted to start our family right away, and so we figured we didn't know when we'd have another chance to do it. Yeah, what we didn't know is that we were about to get pregnant and about to go into a global lockdown.

So yeah, I'm glad we did that.

So yeah, I'm glad we did that.

And we were also in a i think a season of life that felt very abundant and easy and care free in twenty nineteen. And so when we were on our honeymoon. I'm not proud of this, but when you told me that we were pregnant, because you went to the bathroom and took a pregnancy test at like three o'clock in the morning, like you do in Chile to go to Patagonia and you come out of the bathroom and you tell me that we're pregnant, and I just was silent for like thirty minutes.

And we were also in a i think a season of life that felt very abundant and easy and care free in twenty nineteen. And so when we were on our honeymoon. I'm not proud of this, but when you told me that we were pregnant, because you went to the bathroom and took a pregnancy test at like three o'clock in the morning, like you do in Chile to go to Patagonia and you come out of the bathroom and you tell me that we're pregnant, and I just was silent for like thirty minutes.

Yeah, that was terrifying.

Yeah, that was terrifying.

Well, I freaked out. I just went into full on like, oh my gosh, we're gonna have a baby. Yeah, Am I really ready for this? And I was. I would imagine that my response is pretty normal for most men, but.

Well, I freaked out. I just went into full on like, oh my gosh, we're gonna have a baby. Yeah, Am I really ready for this? And I was. I would imagine that my response is pretty normal for most men, but.

I would think, so, yeah, it was that.

I would think, so, yeah, it was that.

We weren't we. Yeah. I wasn't completely prepared for that being so soon, And as soon as I kind of settled into it, I feel like I was really happy about it. From those first thirty minutes was what I kind of needed to like grieve my old life, or so I thought, and then then then be like, all right, let's do this. Yeah, And so I feel like to me, that's when the story kind of started.

We weren't we. Yeah. I wasn't completely prepared for that being so soon, And as soon as I kind of settled into it, I feel like I was really happy about it. From those first thirty minutes was what I kind of needed to like grieve my old life, or so I thought, and then then then be like, all right, let's do this. Yeah, And so I feel like to me, that's when the story kind of started.

Is with the pregnancy. Oh, I thought you were going to say Patagonia, because I thought you were going to talk about how go ahead, just how in Patagonia you got this vision for a thing you wanted to do with your life.

Is with the pregnancy. Oh, I thought you were going to say Patagonia, because I thought you were going to talk about how go ahead, just how in Patagonia you got this vision for a thing you wanted to do with your life.

Well that too, I mean, it's it felt like all this everything started shifting. So you know, we get we know that there's a baby on the way. We're in Patagonia, We're exploring in the most beautiful places in the one of the most beautiful places in the world. And I'm find myself super inspired by the hospitality and the hotels down there. And this sounds very boogie, but the.

Well that too, I mean, it's it felt like all this everything started shifting. So you know, we get we know that there's a baby on the way. We're in Patagonia, We're exploring in the most beautiful places in the one of the most beautiful places in the world. And I'm find myself super inspired by the hospitality and the hotels down there. And this sounds very boogie, but the.

Hotels were not really hotels.

Hotels were not really hotels.

They were more like I mean they were they are hotels, luxury hotels, but they but not in the way that we would think of a luxury hotel in the States. It was I don't know how to explain it, like very like earthy.

They were more like I mean they were they are hotels, luxury hotels, but they but not in the way that we would think of a luxury hotel in the States. It was I don't know how to explain it, like very like earthy.

And minimalist design, very minimalist, no TVs in the bedrooms. Your view is the is nature. Everything's included, from your food to your excursions. Everything was this one stop shop. And I'm like, huh, there's something stirring in me around what if we could bring this, bring something like that to the States. And you know, the vision has evolved quite substantially, but it's I think that's where something kind of changed in me.

And minimalist design, very minimalist, no TVs in the bedrooms. Your view is the is nature. Everything's included, from your food to your excursions. Everything was this one stop shop. And I'm like, huh, there's something stirring in me around what if we could bring this, bring something like that to the States. And you know, the vision has evolved quite substantially, but it's I think that's where something kind of changed in me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, well, and to set the scene, I'll set the scene by saying that you had a very established and lucrative career in well I always say in entertainment, in you explain your career.

So, well, and to set the scene, I'll set the scene by saying that you had a very established and lucrative career in well I always say in entertainment, in you explain your career.

The easiest way to describe it is event production for entertainment brand. So we designed and produced very large experiences for movie studios, television networks at cultural events around the world from well, really the United States. Truthfully, in a former life, they were around the world.

The easiest way to describe it is event production for entertainment brand. So we designed and produced very large experiences for movie studios, television networks at cultural events around the world from well, really the United States. Truthfully, in a former life, they were around the world.

But well you did some in Dubai and even in twenty twenty. That's true.

But well you did some in Dubai and even in twenty twenty. That's true.

But yeah, that's what I was doing, and.

But yeah, that's what I was doing, and.

It was interesting work, very lucrative.

It was interesting work, very lucrative.

Hard work.

Hard work.

Yeah, hard work.

Yeah, hard work.

In addition to all of that, you had sort of burned out on the industry that you were in. But I don't know if in twenty nineteen had you fully admitted that to yourself that you were burned out.

In addition to all of that, you had sort of burned out on the industry that you were in. But I don't know if in twenty nineteen had you fully admitted that to yourself that you were burned out.

Well, if you remember I told you in twenty eighteen that I felt like I was supposed to shut down the business. Oh my god. I forgot about that, and I refused to do it. I just kept holding on to it because it's you know, money is a funny thing.

Well, if you remember I told you in twenty eighteen that I felt like I was supposed to shut down the business. Oh my god. I forgot about that, and I refused to do it. I just kept holding on to it because it's you know, money is a funny thing.

Yeah, it's pretty motivating, isn't it. Okay, I had forgotten about that. So we come home in late November of twenty nineteen, pregnant and sort of settle into life as a married couple, going like, okay, this is where we were planning for twenty twenty, like a lot of people were before we knew what twenty twenty, Before we knew what we now know about twenty twenty, we were planning for twenty twenty thinking like, this is going to be the best financial year of our lives. We're gonna, you know, really kick off our married life together, We're gonna have this baby. There's all these exciting things happening.

Yeah, it's pretty motivating, isn't it. Okay, I had forgotten about that. So we come home in late November of twenty nineteen, pregnant and sort of settle into life as a married couple, going like, okay, this is where we were planning for twenty twenty, like a lot of people were before we knew what twenty twenty, Before we knew what we now know about twenty twenty, we were planning for twenty twenty thinking like, this is going to be the best financial year of our lives. We're gonna, you know, really kick off our married life together, We're gonna have this baby. There's all these exciting things happening.

Like It's not like everybody was waiting for ten could possibly go wrong. I feel like everyone was kind of waiting for twenty twenty at the time. They were believing that there's going to be this incredible year, and.

Like It's not like everybody was waiting for ten could possibly go wrong. I feel like everyone was kind of waiting for twenty twenty at the time. They were believing that there's going to be this incredible year, and.

It was just in a different way than we thought. Yeah, okay, so then is it fair to skip to March to the next part or is there something else significant that you feel like we need to share before then?

It was just in a different way than we thought. Yeah, okay, so then is it fair to skip to March to the next part or is there something else significant that you feel like we need to share before then?

I went to on Site if you remember that, Oh yeah, okay.

I went to on Site if you remember that, Oh yeah, okay.

On Site, if you don't know what it is, is an experiential therapy retreat center here in Tennessee, just outside of Nashville, where you go for a week and there are a lot of different reasons to go. But the program you went to is called Living Centered. So it's a really great thing to do if you're, you know, starting something new in your life, like just newly married, or if you're thinking of making a change, or if you're coming off of a divorce and you need a reset or something like that. I've heard it explained like a year of therapy in a week, and that feels pretty accurate.

On Site, if you don't know what it is, is an experiential therapy retreat center here in Tennessee, just outside of Nashville, where you go for a week and there are a lot of different reasons to go. But the program you went to is called Living Centered. So it's a really great thing to do if you're, you know, starting something new in your life, like just newly married, or if you're thinking of making a change, or if you're coming off of a divorce and you need a reset or something like that. I've heard it explained like a year of therapy in a week, and that feels pretty accurate.

We've both been.

We've both been.

Yep, so the details are blurry, but I was finishing up some work. That project in Dubai was in twenty twenty, right before the world's shut down. Oh yeah, I remember, that was in February, so life was you know.

Yep, so the details are blurry, but I was finishing up some work. That project in Dubai was in twenty twenty, right before the world's shut down. Oh yeah, I remember, that was in February, so life was you know.

Oh yeah, you went to Dubai in February. We both went to Antigua. You went to on site. We had a lot of travel in the early part of the year. It's bizarre to look back on that time now because January February was a very normal, pre pandemic, normal slice of life for us, where we were on airplanes like once a week, you know, traveling across the world. Life was very busy in full and now, I don't know if you feel this way, I look back on that time and I'm like, I can't believe that that was a normal slice of life.

Oh yeah, you went to Dubai in February. We both went to Antigua. You went to on site. We had a lot of travel in the early part of the year. It's bizarre to look back on that time now because January February was a very normal, pre pandemic, normal slice of life for us, where we were on airplanes like once a week, you know, traveling across the world. Life was very busy in full and now, I don't know if you feel this way, I look back on that time and I'm like, I can't believe that that was a normal slice of life.

It feels pretty miserable to me, as if looking back. Yeah, yeah, on paper, it sounds really exciting and like we're this globe trotting couple, but in reality it was not really that.

It feels pretty miserable to me, as if looking back. Yeah, yeah, on paper, it sounds really exciting and like we're this globe trotting couple, but in reality it was not really that.

It was a very well I do remember the month of February we hardly saw each other.

It was a very well I do remember the month of February we hardly saw each other.

Yeah, I remember.

Yeah, I remember.

I was like, wow, we're married, and we saw each other like it was a single digit number of days in February that we were together in.

I was like, wow, we're married, and we saw each other like it was a single digit number of days in February that we were together in.

The same place.

The same place.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So then March we go into lockdown. Okay, I'll tell you how I remember this part of the story and then you can you can fill in. But I remember getting a phone call from you the day that south By Southwest was canceled and you lost a million dollars in business that day.

So then March we go into lockdown. Okay, I'll tell you how I remember this part of the story and then you can you can fill in. But I remember getting a phone call from you the day that south By Southwest was canceled and you lost a million dollars in business that day.

We're close to it.

We're close to it.

Yes, so south By and then just another project that because of south By canceling, it was like the writing was on the wall. So there was another I didn't have a project at south By, if you remember, I had turned down a project at south By, but the south By being canceled triggered our entire industry going Oh, this is real.

Yes, so south By and then just another project that because of south By canceling, it was like the writing was on the wall. So there was another I didn't have a project at south By, if you remember, I had turned down a project at south By, but the south By being canceled triggered our entire industry going Oh, this is real.

Yeah, if I remember correctly, it was close to a week before we officially went into lockdown in La. We were living in La at the time, so the rest of the world hadn't really put it together yet that we were going to that this was going to seriously impact.

Yeah, if I remember correctly, it was close to a week before we officially went into lockdown in La. We were living in La at the time, so the rest of the world hadn't really put it together yet that we were going to that this was going to seriously impact.

I think the local governments were figuring out how we're going to do this, and when the city of Austin was going, wait a minute, we're about to have people flying in from all over the world in COVID is a real thing? Yeah, do we want to host this year? What could the fallout be so south By was I mean, I don't I could be wrong, but it was literally a couple weeks before Southby was supposed to happen, so everybody lost a ton of money. In our industry, people were like, what is going on? And I had a project with another television studio that was greenlit to go, and he called me that day and he said, because of south By canceled, we're not going to take the risk because we're fairly certain that this I think it was a festival or something, I can't remember where it was somewhere in LA that's going to be shut down too. And so it was a million dollar project for us that just completely got taken off the table. And I was lucky that I didn't have millions invested into the project, but I had thousands of dollars invested into the project. And then it was just a domino effect where all the projects in places that we would have gotten work that year completely shut down.

I think the local governments were figuring out how we're going to do this, and when the city of Austin was going, wait a minute, we're about to have people flying in from all over the world in COVID is a real thing? Yeah, do we want to host this year? What could the fallout be so south By was I mean, I don't I could be wrong, but it was literally a couple weeks before Southby was supposed to happen, so everybody lost a ton of money. In our industry, people were like, what is going on? And I had a project with another television studio that was greenlit to go, and he called me that day and he said, because of south By canceled, we're not going to take the risk because we're fairly certain that this I think it was a festival or something, I can't remember where it was somewhere in LA that's going to be shut down too. And so it was a million dollar project for us that just completely got taken off the table. And I was lucky that I didn't have millions invested into the project, but I had thousands of dollars invested into the project. And then it was just a domino effect where all the projects in places that we would have gotten work that year completely shut down.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I saw the writing on the wall going there's going to be zero business this year, zero, and I made the choice. I was like, I don't know how long this is going to last, but I'm already exhausted. Why would I fight to keep this going?

So I saw the writing on the wall going there's going to be zero business this year, zero, and I made the choice. I was like, I don't know how long this is going to last, but I'm already exhausted. Why would I fight to keep this going?

And this is I think somewhere deep inside of you, you really knew you didn't want to keep doing it anyway.

And this is I think somewhere deep inside of you, you really knew you didn't want to keep doing it anyway.

No, it was a relief. And so, yeah, it's sad to say that COVID was a terrible time for a lot of people. For me, it felt like a gift.

No, it was a relief. And so, yeah, it's sad to say that COVID was a terrible time for a lot of people. For me, it felt like a gift.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

And as someone who was living in the same house with you, you also were a bit panicked about Oh, we were both.

And as someone who was living in the same house with you, you also were a bit panicked about Oh, we were both.

If you remember, I had that one project that I held on to, Yeah, didn't require anybody being in person and ended up keeping us sort of afloat. And you were fighting to keep your business alive.

If you remember, I had that one project that I held on to, Yeah, didn't require anybody being in person and ended up keeping us sort of afloat. And you were fighting to keep your business alive.

Yeah, it was a stressful time.

Yeah, it was a stressful time.

I was, what would I have been for or five months pregnant at that point with Nella.

I was, what would I have been for or five months pregnant at that point with Nella.

She was dueing July end of July.

She was dueing July end of July.

And then you all in one day moved out of your office, fired everyone. You were bringing stuff home from the office. And do you remember I was filming the videos for Prepare to Publish in our house that week, and our photographer was there filming from Portland. And during the week we were filming, and then by the end of the week, I was like, we got to I remember there was a conversation about potentially domestic travel being shut down, and so we were like, we got to get him back on a plane home to his family, otherwise he's going to get stuck here, and so we shut down production a day early and sent him home. But yeah, that was all happening leading up to what was that like the second week in March that the shut down.

And then you all in one day moved out of your office, fired everyone. You were bringing stuff home from the office. And do you remember I was filming the videos for Prepare to Publish in our house that week, and our photographer was there filming from Portland. And during the week we were filming, and then by the end of the week, I was like, we got to I remember there was a conversation about potentially domestic travel being shut down, and so we were like, we got to get him back on a plane home to his family, otherwise he's going to get stuck here, and so we shut down production a day early and sent him home. But yeah, that was all happening leading up to what was that like the second week in March that the shut down.

That's all that feels blurry to me.

That's all that feels blurry to me.

But around that time, yeah, yeah, and then it was like kind of I mean, I feel like I was panicked about what was going to happen. It's middle of March at that point, we've got a baby coming in July. Your business is no longer and my business is like kind of up in the air, because even though we had just filmed these videos, we were going to do this big course lunch, I was it was just so uncertain about what people were going to spend money on, or how the world was going to change, or how long this was going to last. And so I also remember from that time though, I remember you being like, I'm going to take a Spanish class, I'm going to go for a long meditation walk.

But around that time, yeah, yeah, and then it was like kind of I mean, I feel like I was panicked about what was going to happen. It's middle of March at that point, we've got a baby coming in July. Your business is no longer and my business is like kind of up in the air, because even though we had just filmed these videos, we were going to do this big course lunch, I was it was just so uncertain about what people were going to spend money on, or how the world was going to change, or how long this was going to last. And so I also remember from that time though, I remember you being like, I'm going to take a Spanish class, I'm going to go for a long meditation walk.

I'm going to like you were kind of in.

I'm going to like you were kind of in.

A zen place a little bit, at least for the first couple of months after COVID hit.

A zen place a little bit, at least for the first couple of months after COVID hit.

Well, is that fair to say?

Well, is that fair to say?

If you remember, I had also signed up for business coach and I had paid the money. Oh yes, before the pandemic.

If you remember, I had also signed up for business coach and I had paid the money. Oh yes, before the pandemic.

You had not even started with her, right.

You had not even started with her, right.

It was like right at the same time, I basically I've worked over the money and the world shuts down, and I thought, do I ask for my money back? And I was like, no, I'm going to stick this out as a six month commitment. And it felt like I had this real gift that was given to me of folks and the business coach being more of like a life coach, I guess is a way to say it, but really thinking through holistically your approach to life and business and how you engage with the world. And it felt like I was given a real awesome opportunity to kind of do some work on myself. And you know, it was it was short lived, but it felt like I was, at least for a period there was very focused. If you remember, it's not totally.

It was like right at the same time, I basically I've worked over the money and the world shuts down, and I thought, do I ask for my money back? And I was like, no, I'm going to stick this out as a six month commitment. And it felt like I had this real gift that was given to me of folks and the business coach being more of like a life coach, I guess is a way to say it, but really thinking through holistically your approach to life and business and how you engage with the world. And it felt like I was given a real awesome opportunity to kind of do some work on myself. And you know, it was it was short lived, but it felt like I was, at least for a period there was very focused. If you remember, it's not totally.

True that it was short lived. You're still working on yourself, but it's the short lived part.

True that it was short lived. You're still working on yourself, but it's the short lived part.

I feel those are right, yes, But.

I feel those are right, yes, But.

I feel like the short lived part was the like Zen Matt, who was like, this is all going to work out in the end.

I feel like the short lived part was the like Zen Matt, who was like, this is all going to work out in the end.

Yeah, that lasted. I wrote the Bonfires a few weeks. Yeah, I wrote the Bonfire you did. I thought I was going to do this whole coaching thing, and you know, I think I felt a bit schizophrenic, or I have felt a bit schizophrenic in this whole process because I've been all over the place and what I want to do and where I want to go and how you know, Yeah, you've tried a lot of different things. Yeah, it felt like I had this opportunity to kind of recreate myself. And so I was like, I'm going to do this. No, I want to do this, No, I want to do that. Let's try this very kind of bouncing off the walls in a way. So my zenness didn't last very long. It turned into I want to dabble in everything.

Yeah, that lasted. I wrote the Bonfires a few weeks. Yeah, I wrote the Bonfire you did. I thought I was going to do this whole coaching thing, and you know, I think I felt a bit schizophrenic, or I have felt a bit schizophrenic in this whole process because I've been all over the place and what I want to do and where I want to go and how you know, Yeah, you've tried a lot of different things. Yeah, it felt like I had this opportunity to kind of recreate myself. And so I was like, I'm going to do this. No, I want to do this, No, I want to do that. Let's try this very kind of bouncing off the walls in a way. So my zenness didn't last very long. It turned into I want to dabble in everything.

I guess more.

I guess more.

What I'm talking about is somewhere along the way, you found the thread of the thing that you want to do. Sure, and this sorry, I'm going to add this because this feels different than Matt finding his career path. Maybe that's part of it, but it also felt like the thread you found was a project for our family.

What I'm talking about is somewhere along the way, you found the thread of the thing that you want to do. Sure, and this sorry, I'm going to add this because this feels different than Matt finding his career path. Maybe that's part of it, but it also felt like the thread you found was a project for our family.

I think I'm still figuring out what this is actually going to be. I think you would agree with that. But before the pandemic even hit, I was introduced to a group of guys twelve guys that were trying to do life well, entrepreneurs and or investors or whatever. And at the time, I was running my business and there was a guy who pulled this group together. It was what was interesting interesting about it is that it was all online anyway. There wasn't no one was meeting in person. It was all through WhatsApp.

I think I'm still figuring out what this is actually going to be. I think you would agree with that. But before the pandemic even hit, I was introduced to a group of guys twelve guys that were trying to do life well, entrepreneurs and or investors or whatever. And at the time, I was running my business and there was a guy who pulled this group together. It was what was interesting interesting about it is that it was all online anyway. There wasn't no one was meeting in person. It was all through WhatsApp.

And most of these guys were overseas.

And most of these guys were overseas.

I was the only American in the group, which was kind of fun, and we would just get together once a month talk about life one you know, one person would lead it. And anyway. I get to know a guy in the group named Johnny, who is now my current business partner, and he was telling me about what's happening in the surfing world with all the different technology, and as a pretty below average surfer, someone who really just mostly likes to get in the water and the meditative experience of it, I thought, oh, how interesting. They'd be very cool in Nashville and very very long story short, what started as like a little idea of bringing a surf park to Nashville has now evolved into a private residential community with surfing, golf, and spa and basically something that brings families together to reconnect with themselves and nature and with their families.

I was the only American in the group, which was kind of fun, and we would just get together once a month talk about life one you know, one person would lead it. And anyway. I get to know a guy in the group named Johnny, who is now my current business partner, and he was telling me about what's happening in the surfing world with all the different technology, and as a pretty below average surfer, someone who really just mostly likes to get in the water and the meditative experience of it, I thought, oh, how interesting. They'd be very cool in Nashville and very very long story short, what started as like a little idea of bringing a surf park to Nashville has now evolved into a private residential community with surfing, golf, and spa and basically something that brings families together to reconnect with themselves and nature and with their families.

It's become less about bringing surfing surfing to Nashville and more about bringing the surfing lifestyle to Nashville, which is we talked about this a few weeks ago, but like the surfing lifestyle, how would you describe the beautiful parts of the surf lifestyle.

It's become less about bringing surfing surfing to Nashville and more about bringing the surfing lifestyle to Nashville, which is we talked about this a few weeks ago, but like the surfing lifestyle, how would you describe the beautiful parts of the surf lifestyle.

It's all about community and it's a much more laid back lifestyle. But you know, surfers will do anything to get away if that means that they're up at four o'clock in the morning too, yeah, you know, to be the first on the beach. And if they know there's a good swell coming in, they're going to be out there and they'll do that before they go to work, you know. And it's like, it's just this idea of reorganizing your priorities to serve and I think a lot of that has been happening anyway in the world. A lot of people are reorganizing their priorities of what really matters. And I think what's been really challenging about this whole project is I'm being asked to do the same thing and I'm not doing it. I think I'm trying to bring a project into the world that is asking people to reorganize their priorities and connect with family and connect with nature and to reconnect with themselves. And I'm approaching this project in the same way that I always have, which is you suffocate the life out of it because I want to control it and i want to I want to mold it and I want to bring it into the world my way, and I'll do that at any cost.

It's all about community and it's a much more laid back lifestyle. But you know, surfers will do anything to get away if that means that they're up at four o'clock in the morning too, yeah, you know, to be the first on the beach. And if they know there's a good swell coming in, they're going to be out there and they'll do that before they go to work, you know. And it's like, it's just this idea of reorganizing your priorities to serve and I think a lot of that has been happening anyway in the world. A lot of people are reorganizing their priorities of what really matters. And I think what's been really challenging about this whole project is I'm being asked to do the same thing and I'm not doing it. I think I'm trying to bring a project into the world that is asking people to reorganize their priorities and connect with family and connect with nature and to reconnect with themselves. And I'm approaching this project in the same way that I always have, which is you suffocate the life out of it because I want to control it and i want to I want to mold it and I want to bring it into the world my way, and I'll do that at any cost.

Yeah, I mean to be fair to give you a little bit of credit. You are doing it your old way, but you're also doing it just the old way of the world. Which it's hard to break a pattern like that when it's a the only thing that you see around you. B it's the only thing you've ever known, and you would have to completely reinvent your way of approaching a thing in order to do it differently because this is the only model that you've ever been shown or given. So yeah, like to just add to what you said, I feel like the old approach is hustle. It's like go after a thing and control it into existence, sort of like set your eye on the horizon and decide what you want this thing to be and then go after it unapologetically until it becomes is that thing and what life has been inviting you into or asking you to do is more like can you participate with this thing or dance with it a little bit? Or or like surrender to what it wants to become? And yeah, like those two things are in direct conflict to one another.

Yeah, I mean to be fair to give you a little bit of credit. You are doing it your old way, but you're also doing it just the old way of the world. Which it's hard to break a pattern like that when it's a the only thing that you see around you. B it's the only thing you've ever known, and you would have to completely reinvent your way of approaching a thing in order to do it differently because this is the only model that you've ever been shown or given. So yeah, like to just add to what you said, I feel like the old approach is hustle. It's like go after a thing and control it into existence, sort of like set your eye on the horizon and decide what you want this thing to be and then go after it unapologetically until it becomes is that thing and what life has been inviting you into or asking you to do is more like can you participate with this thing or dance with it a little bit? Or or like surrender to what it wants to become? And yeah, like those two things are in direct conflict to one another.

I think this project has shown me that it's impossible for me to pull this off. And me, as Matt Ford, I do not have what it takes to do this. I don't have the resources, I don't have the knowledge that is required. Like there's all these reasons why this project won't happen. But what's been really interesting is that and this has happened. I don't know how many times you can probably vouch for this, where I've been at the end of myself and when I finally surrender to the end of myself and like, all right, well, I guess this is not going to happen. Something miraculous happened. Yeah, and another door opens that I never thought would be possible. And I think what is really funny about my human experience is that you would think that after five thousand times of that happening, I'd be like, I'm just going to trust that God slash universe, whatever you want to call it, is going to take care of this, because that's always happening. Yeah, and I haven't learned my lesson. As you know, we're in a we're in a very precarious position right now where we're trying to figure out what is the next step. And what's really interesting is the next step and that this is what you and I think have had to come to terms with, is the next step could very well be that this project is done. Yeah, and that's a really hard pill to swallow. I think if there's anything that I've learned is that you I've had to be okay with that being the outcome, because it's foolish, I think, to keep pushing and pushing and pushing and believing that it has to work, because as we've all seen in the world, it doesn't have to work.

I think this project has shown me that it's impossible for me to pull this off. And me, as Matt Ford, I do not have what it takes to do this. I don't have the resources, I don't have the knowledge that is required. Like there's all these reasons why this project won't happen. But what's been really interesting is that and this has happened. I don't know how many times you can probably vouch for this, where I've been at the end of myself and when I finally surrender to the end of myself and like, all right, well, I guess this is not going to happen. Something miraculous happened. Yeah, and another door opens that I never thought would be possible. And I think what is really funny about my human experience is that you would think that after five thousand times of that happening, I'd be like, I'm just going to trust that God slash universe, whatever you want to call it, is going to take care of this, because that's always happening. Yeah, and I haven't learned my lesson. As you know, we're in a we're in a very precarious position right now where we're trying to figure out what is the next step. And what's really interesting is the next step and that this is what you and I think have had to come to terms with, is the next step could very well be that this project is done. Yeah, and that's a really hard pill to swallow. I think if there's anything that I've learned is that you I've had to be okay with that being the outcome, because it's foolish, I think, to keep pushing and pushing and pushing and believing that it has to work, because as we've all seen in the world, it doesn't have to work.

It does.

It does.

You can lose everything.

You can lose everything.

Yeah, and maybe sometimes losing everything is the portal that takes you to a life that is more like the one that you want. Maybe that's part of how you get the transformation of this story exactly.

Yeah, and maybe sometimes losing everything is the portal that takes you to a life that is more like the one that you want. Maybe that's part of how you get the transformation of this story exactly.

And we've talked about this a lot. We've said losing everything is actually potentially exactly what we need to have happen.

And we've talked about this a lot. We've said losing everything is actually potentially exactly what we need to have happen.

I mean, I'm open to whatever needs to happen so that we can evolve and grow as people and ultimately especially having kids. Now, what I want to think about is like, what kind of person do I want to be in the world, and what kind of person do I want to teach my kids to be, And so whatever needs to happen in my life for me to become more compassionate, more inclusive, more loving, more patient, that's what I want to happen, so that I can become that person. So I can show my kids what it looks like to be that type of a person. Can maybe our kids, Oh yeah, sure, sorry, our children. We have two children together. I mean, that's another element in the story, by the way, that adds some drama and adds some tension to the arc. Is Nella was born in July of twenty twenty, right at the height of the pandemic in the middle of LA. I was supposed to give birth at a birth center, which I did because I really didn't want to give birth alone and a lot of moms at the time were being separated from their birth partners in the hospitals, and I just didn't want to take the risk that that was going to happen, so I chose to give birth at a birth center. My plans were thwarted, my blood pressure skyrocketed. It was a very dangerous traumatic situation for me and for Nella. I mean, I could go on and on, but her whole birth situation was exactly what I didn't want.

I mean, I'm open to whatever needs to happen so that we can evolve and grow as people and ultimately especially having kids. Now, what I want to think about is like, what kind of person do I want to be in the world, and what kind of person do I want to teach my kids to be, And so whatever needs to happen in my life for me to become more compassionate, more inclusive, more loving, more patient, that's what I want to happen, so that I can become that person. So I can show my kids what it looks like to be that type of a person. Can maybe our kids, Oh yeah, sure, sorry, our children. We have two children together. I mean, that's another element in the story, by the way, that adds some drama and adds some tension to the arc. Is Nella was born in July of twenty twenty, right at the height of the pandemic in the middle of LA. I was supposed to give birth at a birth center, which I did because I really didn't want to give birth alone and a lot of moms at the time were being separated from their birth partners in the hospitals, and I just didn't want to take the risk that that was going to happen, so I chose to give birth at a birth center. My plans were thwarted, my blood pressure skyrocketed. It was a very dangerous traumatic situation for me and for Nella. I mean, I could go on and on, but her whole birth situation was exactly what I didn't want.

It to be.

It to be.

And then fast forward, Nella was wet seven months old when we found out we were pregnant with Charlie. We learned about ourselves that we get pregnant very easily. And then I was eighteen weeks pregnant with Charlie when I went into the hospital with a kidney issue. I've told that story elsewhere a couple places, and I won't belabor the details there. But all that to say, like life has tried to show us again and again that we don't have control. I guess, well, I don't know. You were talking about our kids last night and what I loved what you said last night to me about I can't remember how.

And then fast forward, Nella was wet seven months old when we found out we were pregnant with Charlie. We learned about ourselves that we get pregnant very easily. And then I was eighteen weeks pregnant with Charlie when I went into the hospital with a kidney issue. I've told that story elsewhere a couple places, and I won't belabor the details there. But all that to say, like life has tried to show us again and again that we don't have control. I guess, well, I don't know. You were talking about our kids last night and what I loved what you said last night to me about I can't remember how.

You said it.

You said it.

It's easy to get frustrated because we've got two toddlers who are like vibrant and full of energy and full of life, and they take up a lot of our energy and attention, and they want to be paid attention to all the time, and they are just like they're toddlers. They're loud and full of life in the house, and it's easy to get frustrated with that. But what did you say last night about what you feel like you're learning from them.

It's easy to get frustrated because we've got two toddlers who are like vibrant and full of energy and full of life, and they take up a lot of our energy and attention, and they want to be paid attention to all the time, and they are just like they're toddlers. They're loud and full of life in the house, and it's easy to get frustrated with that. But what did you say last night about what you feel like you're learning from them.

Well, I really believe that if there's one thing that I would like to focus my entire life on, it's being present period. And I think I'm so off and finding ways to not be present. I have moments where I'm amazing with our kids, and then i have times with our kids where I'm completely checked out, and I think our kids are screaming at us, saying like we are the way to the best version of yourself. And I think if I could find a way to actually just allow myself to be present with my children, present with you, present with the people in my life, I believe that actually everything else would fall into place. Yeah, I really mean that, isn't that what everybody's all these teachers are talking about from you, whoever you listen to. At the end of the day, what's being asked of us is to be with the moment that we're in and to be in that moment. Because if we can do that, then all of a sudden, you're not worried about all the mistakes you made in the past, you're not stressing about what's coming in the future, You're enjoying what's right in front of you and not denying that there's pain and suffering in the world and that's all a very real thing that we have to deal with. But if I could find a way, and I'm not saying I have the soul for everybody else, but if for me myself, if I could find a way to stay present with what I have and in the moment, I think my life would be a lot better. Yeah, well my state of mind would be a lot better. How about that?

Well, I really believe that if there's one thing that I would like to focus my entire life on, it's being present period. And I think I'm so off and finding ways to not be present. I have moments where I'm amazing with our kids, and then i have times with our kids where I'm completely checked out, and I think our kids are screaming at us, saying like we are the way to the best version of yourself. And I think if I could find a way to actually just allow myself to be present with my children, present with you, present with the people in my life, I believe that actually everything else would fall into place. Yeah, I really mean that, isn't that what everybody's all these teachers are talking about from you, whoever you listen to. At the end of the day, what's being asked of us is to be with the moment that we're in and to be in that moment. Because if we can do that, then all of a sudden, you're not worried about all the mistakes you made in the past, you're not stressing about what's coming in the future, You're enjoying what's right in front of you and not denying that there's pain and suffering in the world and that's all a very real thing that we have to deal with. But if I could find a way, and I'm not saying I have the soul for everybody else, but if for me myself, if I could find a way to stay present with what I have and in the moment, I think my life would be a lot better. Yeah, well my state of mind would be a lot better. How about that?

Okay, So if stories are built around the transformation of the main character, then this story is built around you becoming present. Yes, going from the mat who was just going through the motions because there's this lucrative thing in front of him, and he's just doing it because it's what everyone else is doing, to really learning what it looks like to stay present in every moment of his life. Where do you feel like you are in the story?

Okay, So if stories are built around the transformation of the main character, then this story is built around you becoming present. Yes, going from the mat who was just going through the motions because there's this lucrative thing in front of him, and he's just doing it because it's what everyone else is doing, to really learning what it looks like to stay present in every moment of his life. Where do you feel like you are in the story?

Well, I have not arrived. I have told myself that the transformation will happen when when the project gets underway, when we get the money that we need, or when we break ground, or when the investment dollars arrive, or when we get some sort of national press or whatever it is I've told myself that that's the point of arrival and transformation, when in reality, nothing's going to change if I'm not changed. True, So it'll all be the same. The stress will be the same, the anxiety will be the same, the wanting to control the outcome of the project will be the same. And I will still be the same at forward. Yeah, and so if I can find a way to be intentional about being present and being in the moment, I think whether or not the project gets the green light or it fails, it won't matter.

Well, I have not arrived. I have told myself that the transformation will happen when when the project gets underway, when we get the money that we need, or when we break ground, or when the investment dollars arrive, or when we get some sort of national press or whatever it is I've told myself that that's the point of arrival and transformation, when in reality, nothing's going to change if I'm not changed. True, So it'll all be the same. The stress will be the same, the anxiety will be the same, the wanting to control the outcome of the project will be the same. And I will still be the same at forward. Yeah, and so if I can find a way to be intentional about being present and being in the moment, I think whether or not the project gets the green light or it fails, it won't matter.

Well, And maybe being present is how new possibilities open up to you. And those new possibilities might include, you know, additional options for securing funding or whatever, or the new possibilities might be like, oh, I change my mind about what I wanted in the first place I'm thinking about So this will be the first little pause that I make to talk about story structure and how I think about why I think story structure does such a good job of helping us understand our lives because the hero who wants something is the start of the story, but it's not the finish.

Well, And maybe being present is how new possibilities open up to you. And those new possibilities might include, you know, additional options for securing funding or whatever, or the new possibilities might be like, oh, I change my mind about what I wanted in the first place I'm thinking about So this will be the first little pause that I make to talk about story structure and how I think about why I think story structure does such a good job of helping us understand our lives because the hero who wants something is the start of the story, but it's not the finish.

If you think.

If you think.

About this from a Hollywood screenplay perspective, then you start with a hero who wants to build a surf park, and probably by the end of the movie, that hero is going to build a surf park. But in the case of personal stories, the arc is built around the transformation of the main character. So you start with the hero who wants something. That hero may or may not get that thing. So you want to build a surf park, you may build the surf park, you may not build the surf park. But the arc is not built around the hero getting what they want. The arc is built around the transformation of the main character. It's actually true for Hollywood movies too that it's built around transformation. But a lot of times you see the hero transform and then they get the thing that they want. And I think one of the reasons why we build stories that way is because that's often how it happens in life. Is you transform, you become something different, and then you get the thing that you wanted all along, or you realize that the thing you thought you wanted isn't really what you wanted. And that happens in Hollywood movies too. The hero changes and they go like, God, why did I want that thing all this time? That doesn't even appeal to me anymore as this new person, and so I get something different that's even better than what I thought I wanted.

About this from a Hollywood screenplay perspective, then you start with a hero who wants to build a surf park, and probably by the end of the movie, that hero is going to build a surf park. But in the case of personal stories, the arc is built around the transformation of the main character. So you start with the hero who wants something. That hero may or may not get that thing. So you want to build a surf park, you may build the surf park, you may not build the surf park. But the arc is not built around the hero getting what they want. The arc is built around the transformation of the main character. It's actually true for Hollywood movies too that it's built around transformation. But a lot of times you see the hero transform and then they get the thing that they want. And I think one of the reasons why we build stories that way is because that's often how it happens in life. Is you transform, you become something different, and then you get the thing that you wanted all along, or you realize that the thing you thought you wanted isn't really what you wanted. And that happens in Hollywood movies too. The hero changes and they go like, God, why did I want that thing all this time? That doesn't even appeal to me anymore as this new person, and so I get something different that's even better than what I thought I wanted.

Yes, but I think it's important in my case specifically, And I'm not saying because I'm unique, but I don't want to make my goal of transformation so that I can have X.

Yes, but I think it's important in my case specifically, And I'm not saying because I'm unique, but I don't want to make my goal of transformation so that I can have X.

Sure.

Sure.

My goal of transformation is so that I can be a better person in the world. The goal of transformation is transformation period.

My goal of transformation is so that I can be a better person in the world. The goal of transformation is transformation period.

Yes, And a lot of times, I guess that is what I'm pointing out, is that a lot of times in our personal stories, we transform and we may or may not get that thing that we were after, but the transformation is what sets the arc. Yes, So the thing the hero wants is what starts the story, and the transformation is what ends it. And the other thing I was going to say too, is I think a lot of people feel ready to write their story when they're at the all is lost moment, or at least you start to feel ready to understand what the hell is going on inside of your story. Living in the middle of a story, I think, at least for me and the writers that I've worked with, when you're smack dab in the middle of it. You don't even feel ready to understand it yet, you're still just you know, like when I think about myself in March of twenty twenty or July of twenty twenty, or when I got pregnant with Charlie or was in the hospital or whatever, I was just like in such survival mode that I didn't know which way was up. And it's only been recently that I've started to feel like, oh, this is shaping up to be an epic story for us and for our family. And I think part of that is because we're at the all is lost moment. We're at the moment where we're starting to see what the stakes really are and that there's something to lose, you know, meaning we're in like a do or die moment that we've invested three years of our time as a family and every penny of our savings, you know, into this project, and it's like it may fly and it may not, and we can't make it the point whether it does or doesn't, there has to be another reason why this has all happened.

Yes, And a lot of times, I guess that is what I'm pointing out, is that a lot of times in our personal stories, we transform and we may or may not get that thing that we were after, but the transformation is what sets the arc. Yes, So the thing the hero wants is what starts the story, and the transformation is what ends it. And the other thing I was going to say too, is I think a lot of people feel ready to write their story when they're at the all is lost moment, or at least you start to feel ready to understand what the hell is going on inside of your story. Living in the middle of a story, I think, at least for me and the writers that I've worked with, when you're smack dab in the middle of it. You don't even feel ready to understand it yet, you're still just you know, like when I think about myself in March of twenty twenty or July of twenty twenty, or when I got pregnant with Charlie or was in the hospital or whatever, I was just like in such survival mode that I didn't know which way was up. And it's only been recently that I've started to feel like, oh, this is shaping up to be an epic story for us and for our family. And I think part of that is because we're at the all is lost moment. We're at the moment where we're starting to see what the stakes really are and that there's something to lose, you know, meaning we're in like a do or die moment that we've invested three years of our time as a family and every penny of our savings, you know, into this project, and it's like it may fly and it may not, and we can't make it the point whether it does or doesn't, there has to be another reason why this has all happened.

You know. Maybe this is the this is the cliffhanger, this is the story loop it's opened up. Yeah, you know, I wish I could tell you right now that I know what's going on, but I have no idea.

You know. Maybe this is the this is the cliffhanger, this is the story loop it's opened up. Yeah, you know, I wish I could tell you right now that I know what's going on, but I have no idea.

Yeah, me, neither.

Yeah, me, neither.

Other than I mean, you talked about some things you said. What I've learned is it's impossible for me to pull this off. And what I take from that, the moral I take from that is that there's a lot less in our control than we believe is in our control, and that there's a lesson here about surrendering the outcome surrendering the control. That's one possible moral that could be at play in this story. Yes, staying present is another moral. You're right to recognize that the moral isn't completely solidified yet. We don't really know what the moral is because the story hasn't ended continuing to think about the transformation of the main character, and this has gone a different direction than I expected it to go a little bit because I was thinking, like, this is the story of us as a couple, or the story of our family, and I think what we're talking about here more is your story, which is totally fine. There's both happening simultaneously, like the story of our family and also your story. Thinking about the transformation of the hero of the story, let's talk more about that. How has this changed you?

Other than I mean, you talked about some things you said. What I've learned is it's impossible for me to pull this off. And what I take from that, the moral I take from that is that there's a lot less in our control than we believe is in our control, and that there's a lesson here about surrendering the outcome surrendering the control. That's one possible moral that could be at play in this story. Yes, staying present is another moral. You're right to recognize that the moral isn't completely solidified yet. We don't really know what the moral is because the story hasn't ended continuing to think about the transformation of the main character, and this has gone a different direction than I expected it to go a little bit because I was thinking, like, this is the story of us as a couple, or the story of our family, and I think what we're talking about here more is your story, which is totally fine. There's both happening simultaneously, like the story of our family and also your story. Thinking about the transformation of the hero of the story, let's talk more about that. How has this changed you?

Well, I would hope you would agree that I've changed quite a bit so we first got married significantly. I think what has changed for me is I don't think I anticipated how much I wanted to be around our kids. You know. I remember having a conversation with you when.

Well, I would hope you would agree that I've changed quite a bit so we first got married significantly. I think what has changed for me is I don't think I anticipated how much I wanted to be around our kids. You know. I remember having a conversation with you when.

Oh, my gosh, I know exactly what you're gonna say.

Oh, my gosh, I know exactly what you're gonna say.

We were walking on a walk this I think this is a pretty pandemic, and you're just and you're just.

We were walking on a walk this I think this is a pretty pandemic, and you're just and you're just.

Like I was newly pregnant.

Like I was newly pregnant.

I was asking, how long do you think you're gonna want me to be home?

I was asking, how long do you think you're gonna want me to be home?

Yeah?

Yeah?

You were like, how long are you going to take for a maternity leave? And we were talking about that, and then you were like, I think I could probably arrange to stay home for a week, and I was.

You were like, how long are you going to take for a maternity leave? And we were talking about that, and then you were like, I think I could probably arrange to stay home for a week, and I was.

Like a week.

Like a week.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You were like, how long are you going to take for a maternity leave? And we were talking about that, and then you were like, I think I could probably arrange to stay home for a week, and I was like a week, yeah, which a week is actually a long time. I feel like for most dads, a lot of dads don't get anything.

You were like, how long are you going to take for a maternity leave? And we were talking about that, and then you were like, I think I could probably arrange to stay home for a week, and I was like a week, yeah, which a week is actually a long time. I feel like for most dads, a lot of dads don't get anything.

I think the only reason you were probably feeling that way. Is because I had my own company and could determine.

I think the only reason you were probably feeling that way. Is because I had my own company and could determine.

Could make that choice for yourself.

Could make that choice for yourself.

I make that choice for myself. But and I remember feeling like, well, I don't even know if I'm going to want to be home for more than a week, you know, Like, in hindsight, I can't believe I would even say that. I think it's how much I enjoy our children, how much I enjoy being around them, being with them during the day, and having the flexibility that we have right now to be around them as often as we are. It's incredible. Yeah, I wouldn't trade it for the world. So I think there's that I'm not very motivated to hustle every day. I think I'm really wanting to find a path forward, even when whatever happens next actually happens. I don't want a lot to change. Yeah, and I'm not interested in working seventy hour weeks and not seeing my kids. And yeah, whereas part of that, that's what I was doing.

I make that choice for myself. But and I remember feeling like, well, I don't even know if I'm going to want to be home for more than a week, you know, Like, in hindsight, I can't believe I would even say that. I think it's how much I enjoy our children, how much I enjoy being around them, being with them during the day, and having the flexibility that we have right now to be around them as often as we are. It's incredible. Yeah, I wouldn't trade it for the world. So I think there's that I'm not very motivated to hustle every day. I think I'm really wanting to find a path forward, even when whatever happens next actually happens. I don't want a lot to change. Yeah, and I'm not interested in working seventy hour weeks and not seeing my kids. And yeah, whereas part of that, that's what I was doing.

Well, And we were talking about last night, like just our natural wiring. We both really love to work, and we both are very ambitious, and we both work hard. But I think for me, one of the things that I've seen change and want to see change even more is the line that we tend to draw between work and home and we like, you know, the typical way you think about a family setup where it's like mom and dad go to work during the day and come home now, and you have this time of separation where your kids are at school or with childcare, you're at childcare or whatever. I think one of the things I've seen shift for us is that line has blurred significantly where we don't have like a space that we go to every day for ten hours a day or eleven hours a day to do the work. It's like there's more flexibility, more spontaneity, more. It's not a thing where like either of us are afraid to work hard or either of us are. I think we both really enjoy work. But it's about blurring the lines between like what's work and what's quote unquote not work.

Well, And we were talking about last night, like just our natural wiring. We both really love to work, and we both are very ambitious, and we both work hard. But I think for me, one of the things that I've seen change and want to see change even more is the line that we tend to draw between work and home and we like, you know, the typical way you think about a family setup where it's like mom and dad go to work during the day and come home now, and you have this time of separation where your kids are at school or with childcare, you're at childcare or whatever. I think one of the things I've seen shift for us is that line has blurred significantly where we don't have like a space that we go to every day for ten hours a day or eleven hours a day to do the work. It's like there's more flexibility, more spontaneity, more. It's not a thing where like either of us are afraid to work hard or either of us are. I think we both really enjoy work. But it's about blurring the lines between like what's work and what's quote unquote not work.

Sure you know what I mean?

Sure you know what I mean?

Like is meditating work or not work? Is going for a walk and talking about dreaming about the project. Is that work or not Work? Is sitting with your kids work or not?

Like is meditating work or not work? Is going for a walk and talking about dreaming about the project. Is that work or not Work? Is sitting with your kids work or not?

Work?

Work?

Is making dinner together as a family, is at work or not work, going to the gym, is that work or not work? Typing an email work or not work? You know, I don't know those things can exist all together and they don't need to be divided so much.

Is making dinner together as a family, is at work or not work, going to the gym, is that work or not work? Typing an email work or not work? You know, I don't know those things can exist all together and they don't need to be divided so much.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, I realize it's a privileged point of view, but it's one that I really subscribe to.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, I realize it's a privileged point of view, but it's one that I really subscribe to.

A privilege that I would love to give more people access to. And I think one of the ways that you give people access to that privilege is by modeling it and creating a society that's set up in such a way that those are the expectations, you know, Like, I think it's absurd that our world is set up in such a way where certain people are expected to go back to work days after giving birth to a baby a mom or dad, but in particular moms, or where it would be considered unprofessional for a woman to breastfeed at a work meeting, or you know. There are just certain things that I've realized through our life experience over the last couple of years that make it really difficult for people who don't have access to those privileges to contribute their highest invest to their communities. And I don't think this is a stretch to tie it back to this, But I think this is part of what the dream has been with this community that you want to build. It's always been about simplifying life, always been about bringing families together, always been about more togetherness, always been about connection to nature. It's always been about helping people reconnect to themselves and to each other and to the presence of God that is with us at all times. And you know, I think that that vision of a place where that could be a way of life is being actualized through you and through our family right now. And at times it has felt really bumpy because I don't know of other places. Maybe there are places. I don't want to presume that we're like we're the only people who are thinking this way. I doubt that's true, But I just don't know of a lot of places where that kind of environment exists.