I'm working on again on it, working again on it. I'm gonna working on again on't on it, working on working on Okay, let me let me say this at the top. Um. I know we're usually fun and bubbly and we don't talk about politics and the news and all that ship, but today we woke up excited to release a song, but also very sad because roversus Wade was overturned and I believe it's bullshit and I feel like a woman should have the right to choose to do what she wants to do with her body. And it's frustrating and heartbreaking and um, if you want to learn more about it, you can go to Planned Parenthood dot org. Learn how to help raise your voice, make some noise, and keep voting, and just keep talking about it. That's all I wanted to say. Very well, my heart was broken today. Man just fucking sucks and everything is spooky nowadays. I agree with you on all accounts. Okay, Okay, back to the Gigglies, Friends and family, Friends and family, Friends and family, welcome back to another episode of working on It, Working on it. Now. You've been working on a whole bunch of stuff and it's finally coming to life, get here, and I was sleep So I feel like you do a little celebration last night. Um. We recorded Kimmel yesterday and that was hardest part of the week, I think, because I'm nervous as hell performing like live in front of humans. Haven't done that in three years, even though it was like maybe twelve people, but it was you know, to the world whoever was watching Jimmy Gimmel. I saw young Megan on stage, and I haven't seen young Megan on stage like that probably since like your first um maybe Wango Tango, or first like jingle Ball, or like the show in Vegas you did outside that Yeah, I was a noivous. Um song is hard to sing and it's also emotional, so I can't. Like, if I really think about why I wrote the song, I'll start crying and I can't. So I have to like being actress, really you get you get emotional like that. Yeah, songwriter, get it there and get your money sing it. You actually feel stuff singing that song. Oh my god, remember remember I tried to sing um. My last album, Shoot Myself was a song Oh baby girl, baby girl. I started saying, good, I'm like documentary you can see me. I'm like, I'm larger in that clip and I'm not healthy, and I'm exhausted and overworked and I I'm singing baby Girl, which all the lyrics are like be nice to yourself, love yourself, stop being so hard on yourself. And I'm I'm like, I can't get through this because I fucking hate myself like I was. And I started crying and I'm like, I can't do it. I can't sing. During the rehearsals, I was like, sounds like she's gonna do this. Broke the down and then I did it on Good Morning America the next day somehow, But yeah, performing on Kimmel bad for me. I I'm also alone alone. Luckily Teddy Swims was there for me in the second verse, but I had to go out there first. And I know, I know singers like on the four when we did that in on American Adom, when they get nervous, you can hear them tremble, and that's what I was trying to avoid that. But I definitely did it, and I was like, he barely did it? Please many problemise, you know, I was really scared. But then I listened back in the room in the booth after I listened to and I was like, oh, I'm not that bad. That was pretty good. Yeah, if anything, it's more it's just passionate. And I was gorgeous, tell you what I was. And Teddy crushed it. She was always good. Also, he was one of those which I'm grateful for that like was more nervous and more um struggling in the sound checks and I was like, but Live was like the best season. That's the athlete of him, right, Yeah, you have a bad practice. I used to be like that and now I'm funked up in my mind and I'm like we're slow because I was like, yeah, it sounds just like the track. She's chilling. So then we did Kimmel. Then we went home and we were going to bed and everything was good. We crushed the day. I was like, because friends was Scott Hoeing from Pentatonics, who's also seeing backgrounds on Bad for Me in the second verse as a choir and joy that's him and he put together this amazing girl group called Citizen Queen and I love them. Check them out online. They're so talented. There's these four girls their queens, and I wrote a song for them called Criminals and they were having their first headlining show in l a at is what we were told. Um. So at nine pm, we're in bed drinking wine, celebrating the Kimmel performance, and my husband looks at me and was like, let's do it. Fuck it, let's go. And I was like what. I was like, really, you mean it? And he was like, yeah, let's go. Why not, funking? Who cares? We're cool parents, And I was like okay. So we ran and put a hoodie on in sneakers and got an uber which I haven't ubered in so long because I don't go anywhere, and we drove to downtown, which was thirty four minutes from the house, and we were at the Moroccans something a tiny club, little bar situation, and it was hot. How wait, forty five minute drive, thirty four minute drive. Okay, okay, and that's too bad that hot in there A lot of bodies, a lot of bodies gonna take room. I had my mask on the whole time. I was the only human being with the mask on. Anybody see yeah. And they couldn't recognize me though, because the mask was great, But then some people did, and then everyone just kept looking at me and I was like, uh. Then they performed. They went They're supposed they went on and at thirty my guy. So when we got there, Daryl wanted to celebrate. He already had his wine, remind you. So we got there and he had not one. I thought it was one two shots of Kendall Jenner's tequila. Um. And then he decided to have beers after that. And Darryl thinks that he is a Marvel character if you will, because he doesn't ever throw up when he drinks. He just falls asleep like a dead body. And then I have to carry him and take care of him. And he hasn't done that since our honeymoon, and that's been three years now. Um. And because on our honeymoon we learned and I said, never again, will you do this to me? Um. So he's drinking and I noticed he's getting he's I thought he was pretending to be white girl wasted. Oh, and I was like, ha ha, it's not funny anymore. Like he's like, I can't believe we're out like that ship, and he's like, you're here and I love that you're here. And I literally I thought he was acting. And I was like ha ha stop. Then I I I clicked and I go, oh, he's fucked. I saw. I was like, oh, Darryl post An is story. Let's see how the show is. And it's just like it's like a two second clip and he's just like it's like, I don't scream too loud because Raley's sleeping up stairs. He's just like shaky. And then he for twenty minutes, He's like Citizen Queen's and it doesn't take anyone and I got no baby hold up and I just typed before him and I was like, go ahead, pose sat you dumb bit. I love you so much with all my heart. And then I realized, like, oh, fuck me, he's really drunk. I haven't seen him a strong since our honeymoon. He's going to fall asleep. Um. And so I looked at my manager, Pepie, who was there. I blame him, and I was like, take away the beer, like caught him off, he's done, and he was like sure, and like a toddler, Daryl looks at me. I was like, put the drink down, and he goes it, starts chugging his beer like sure, what are you doing? Then he was and he was totally fine. And then we were hanging out with Brittany Broski. I don't want to say her name wrong, but I fucking love her and she was so funny yea. And then we were outside trying to get a Uber and he could barely. I was like, we're doomed because he could barely get me an Uber and I was like, I don't have the app, so you need to sack up and get me a fucking Uber and get me home. Okay. So then we're in the uber ride and he's fallen asleep. I kind of have the videos. Should we share him? Don't over share it? And I go, oh fuck, I can't get him out of the car, but myself like I can't carry him. So I text Ryan praying that he's awake. At midnight, I texted you up. Yeah, So my my night was I get a FaceTime from you guy. I'm just gaming, you know, not even streaming, just relax and just what a what a awesome, cool day. We'll play a little apex and kick it. By the time you text me, it's midnight and that's when I'm like, PM, I get my little sleepy tea ready. I put on my better call saut and I'm just on the couch vibing with the dogs. It might sleepy tea. You text me at midnight? Are you awake? Yeah? What's good? Damn you're a plate, I say to Megan. Megan says, I need help. I go, okay, where now I'm a little I'm a little rattle. I'm like, I have not seen an I need help text from Megan maybe ever It's like have I done that? Uh? On my way home with a drunk Darryl and he's passed out in the uber. I go, ha, got you. I'm like, can't be that bad guy? Pizza for dinner. Should soak up all the booze. I don't think he will be able to wake up. I am so mad at him. L. Well, I'm literally sober enough to drive, but I would never never drink and drive ever. Yeah, but it was like you didn't even you didn't even drink. I was like, I could pass a test right now, Like I didn't. It was just like it was like a comparative of like, how is this the situation? Are we the same person? And we were drinking together and he's that and I stuck off and did his own thing he did. Then you sent then you sent a little video of manuver and he's kind of just like no, he's closing his eyes and he started going, yeah, he's just and I I didn't know what that meant. Also, you have to know Darryl, he doesn't ever like when he's drunk. He just falls asleep really hard and it's dead body weight. But he never pukes. And it was like his trophy, like he would be like, um, vomit free since oh three, Like hasn't thrown up since two thousand three. So Jenny even said it at the bar ordering a drink, vomit. It's almost like he self sabotaged himself by yeah, a curse. Um. But yeah, I saw the videos, like I'm holding his head up in the car so he can lean on something. Um, you say, just so lame. I had one glass of wine. I hate booze. I'm like, yes, okay, alright, you can't hang. That's why I'm upset you thirty years old. He threw up. Helps Yeah, We're on the fucking highway and he goes to put the window down and he goes like this and I was like no, and then he goes he looks back at me like like uh huh, it's about to happen, and they go all down. When you guys arrived and he got of the car, it was really just all over himself. So it was it was it was what did out of the car? Bro It was in the corner that he's been doing that all night, little corner pockets where I'm like, there's a bucket. Anyways, so he threw up. He comes inside, He's smiling at Ryan. He looks pale still. So I was like, oh, it's not done. And then I said, get him some water with some element hydration formula um, and then I carried him up the stairs. But he really was walking on his own. But you know, here's the here's the thing. You've guys carried me to bed thousands of times. So I was like, this is no no problem whatsoever. It's the least I can do. How funny is it that before all this, he was like, do you mind if I have a glass of wine? Oh? Yeah, he goes to me. He was still the sober guy. He go, right, it's a cool glass of wine. Was like, yeah, dude, my friends do drunk, black drunk and see later I didn't know that glass of wine was going to turn into that. I thought shots. I thought it was just like a line with the pizza. So then then he sees our bed and he faced plants like body dives on it, and I go, no, like just throw up on his shirt. And I'm dragging him like a movie, like pulling his shoes off, pulling his pants off, like babe, I gotta shower. You you're disgusting, get out of my bed. And I pulled him to the shower. Luckily we have a bench in the shower. I sent him down, hose his bitch down. I start washing him with shampoo and he's like and I'm like almost done, can you lift your arm? Like I'm talking to him like he's Riley. He's like me old, dye him off. And then I pushed him into the bed and then I shower and I'm just like depressed because I'm like, this is not how this night was supposed to go. He's supposed to kept texting me. I was already first. Yeah, I was like fuck this. And then I come back from the shower and he crawls all the way to my side of the bed, crosses over this Callie king bed. I go where you're going by? Where are you going? And he's like over the side, on my fucking side of the bed, but he slow throw up yeah, because it's silent too. He's like, I only threw up violently. Then he started doing that. So then we're going to bed. I'm checking if he's breathing. His mom's like, make sure he's not choking, and I was like, Jesus fucking Christ, can he die like this with a dumb way to die? So I'm checking that he's breathing. He's like super uncomfortable on the side. So I tried to put the pillow under him and he was like yeah, then he can't get comfortable and he starts m hm. And I was like, are you gonna throw up? And this was the one in between, like you know, your side table and that creef right in that pocket, the trash kids right next to it. No, no, no, I go to the crease, into the crease projectile bombs and I go no, even no, And then I literally holding the bucket, like please, please, sir, the bucket and then and he it sounds like he's in his lungs. He doesn't know how to throw up like that and he's like, like it's bad. And and then I kept looking at him. I was like, are you choking? And he's like looking like he's choking and he goes and I was like, you're not choking, poor bastards. And then he did go. He doesn't remember thing, but he did go. Oh that was it. The demon left his body. It's good that he threw up. I mean everything was gone. I like would rarely throw up. I would have to be it was probably close to death when I would throw up, but I would usually just would keep it all in and then the next stay just feel like a train hit me. But yeah, this is what happens when you're thirty. He's a dad, and he goes, yeah, I have a little wine, little beer, a couple of shots of this is my first night out as a dad. That's what he kept saying. And I was like, he's just making like a witch's brew and his stomach of like everything make the pizza like bad idea. And you said before I went to the show, well, at least you have good karma going to that show. It's like, you know, maybe if you don't have the most fun, you kind of regret it. At least you'll have some good karma A top ten. Now you should have extra good You'll you'll personally, you will have extra good karmena because then you have to take care of Darryll that whole Oh no, he owes me for life. Now, it's great to be on the side of things. So I went to put at three covered and throw up, smelling vomit and just crying just like you know, like my night. Um. But it's Darryll's Darrell's re realization. The thirty slaps you right in the face. You're done, kid, you know, no more of that. So I told him, smoke pot, do whatever you want. We're not I'm not letting you take a sip of alcoholiver again. Sorry, kid, can't hang doesn't those limits? But I love him so much And what a fun memory this will be bor. It was great for me to segue into we could you know, do a little working on sobriety Part two. It's been a it's been a year. I think Mary is super No, I think he's gonna be like I'm gonna have to do with Ryan's don't. Yeah, it's just like weird how he can he doesn't know his limits. That was my that was my issue. I would never know. You didn't like, I don't know, you didn't cause a scene. I almost took that mother to the er last night, like thinking he got poisoned. Yeah, did you ever wake up and there throw up in your bed? I never threw up in my bed. I would throw up, he like, and he had throw up on the bed. I cleaned it off, but he had. There was a towel in a bucket and he comes in peas with me on our double toilets in the morning and he's like, I'm sorry, and I was like, you threw up And he's like, I threw up. I was a great joking. He's like I did. I was like in the uber in the bed on the other side of the bed. He was like, oh my god. I was like, yeah, you can throw up. I saw it. Yeah. Mine would always be the next day, not so much the night of that. I think one of my lowest moments was in Nashville. One of those things that you did and I was shipping up at the same time you were blue, And actually that was the night of it was like I had left the lobby bars wait till late I was like, I shouldn't have been there, and then I just went right to the what did you drink? Maybe food poison because you looked like Mom was like, should I take him to the hospital. No, it was what I drank that day because um, it was on tour. So I saw the uh remember you had the Tampac sponsor. I saw all the girls that I was working with that like, we're helping me like direct the shoots and what to get for content, and they're like, let's get your shots. I'm like yeah, They're like we're doing whiskey. I'm like, yikes, it's two p m. That was like the beginning of my day and then it ended. I had drank all day and then by the end of the night, I was in that hotel lobby drinking like vodka soda. So I can't even I don't even know what I drank throughout the day, but it was definitely whiskey beer, whiskey beer, tequila, whiskey beer, and then ended with vodka and it just exited my body like an exorcism. And it was like after that, I was like, I think I gotta quit drinking because I have no just zero control, just floating around. I think that probably probably a dozen. Yeah I can get four times, because yeah, you would, you would see some of them that were around you. And then I had a lot of dark moments alone where I'm like shaking in my bed after like a four day bender of like what am I doing with my life? Have you seen on TikTok there's a trend where this girl is like, what's the biggest scam? That's like, um, I've seen that. That's like, what's the biggest scam that God damn it that everyone keeps getting away with? But it should be booze. We are paying money that we don't have alcohol, kissing it away to have a little bit of blurriness to feel like shit and for people with anxiety the next day and made my anxiety sometimes worse. Yeah, you fucking pay for it. I was like, is ridiculous, It's absurd. It was something I definitely used to cope with your anxiety, but also like make other people interesting. Now it's hard to hang out with people at a bar. I mean, d young people are annoying to begin with, and I'm like, funk, it's it's it's like I was one of them. Um, no, you weren't. Bro that was the issue and you were fun. No, not all the time. You know, I would have my moments. Um, but like become so normalized that we don't even realize it's a scam anymore. Um. Yeah, I realized. I'm learning a lot about myself. And I have weeks where I'm like ramped up and everything is crumbling, and um, I feel terrible. I hate what I'm doing in my life. I will never succeed. Da da da da da. And I used to just be like, go ahead quite now thoughts, goodbye, goodbye whiskey. Yeah, but now I have new tricks where I'm like, all right, cool, Um, I could go for a run, I could lay down and do whim off. That's been I brought that back that. Yeah, I'm like, I feel like I feel terrible. I'm gonna lay down and breathe. It gets me too high out and well, I listen. I loved getting you're here, kahole. I love to just disappear. Uh yeah, no, you just breathing just helps everything. But that specifically it does feel pretty. You get like an out of body experience. But I'm like, all right, cool, I need to I need to calm down to here's something I can do that You don't have to pour booze, like she says, because it's a temporary fix and then you feel worse when it's gone. Mentally, I feel ten times better, Like, h it's night and day really um, and you know I'm a little bored, but I just have to find new things to do at night. I guess I'm still I'm the youngest man alive. So all my friends, you know, they still go out all the time, and like a couple of them have wife's and girlfriends and they're pretty also boring. But we just golf with those buddies. You know, that's good stuff they ca Yeah, I guess I guess a hobby, per per se. Maybe I hit a break and be like, let me go to the comedy, like go to some comedy shows or something. Um. But yeah, that's why I start painting, you know, because my brain freaks out of not working. I don't want to start painting. Where can we paint? We need a paint. I have a whole room upstairs not being used, has all my art supply in it. That yeah, until my daughter comes, that's our art gallery, bro, It's not a bad scheme, per So, yeah, find hobbies out there. Have you ever considered antidepreched? What is it? Uh? Medicine? No antidepressants. I'm on him and I've put so many chemicals in my brain that it works for me. No, it's not that I don't believe it. I think what works for me is meditating, whim off and exercising. My mental feels good. It's literally just boredom, which isn't like I'm not depressed when I when I ramp up, it's just because I'll think about one thought over and over and over and again, like just like what everyone does now. Possibly the brain's healed brains and the fact that you're talking about it right now, you're being healed by your magic angry brain. Right. No? Better sweet too, because bad for me just dropped in his top ten on iTunes and I'm so happy, but almost that about so many things. That's literally this is life working on it um and then but then I have weeks where I'm like today, I woke up feeling amazing. I also will do you know what might have sleep bapw So listen, yesterday we were eating pizza. He was standing next to me while I was sitting and I looked up his nose and I was like, Jesus, motherfucking Christ, your nose is blocked. You can't breathe that at one side of your nose. Don't drugs, don't um. But he has a deviated septum. We don't know why we think or is it confirmed? Are you a doctor? It's probably a bro. I don't know. It's just I could see one hole is open and one is not, and it's like your nose cartilage, it is cless sing it and I can see when he's breathing. I mean, I've been reached. Probably. My mom was literally, oh, is that why she cried? I don't know. She cried before she went home and she was like it's a proud and we're like, what is this crying? Um? But yeah, I just noticed. When we're doing a podcast or our ads, he's like, hell, bother's right, I'm not that stuffy dude, And I dude, you're that's you get the ec cranking bro. I feel like I have a cold every single time, and in this house it's the coldest house. We didn't just clean the vents. They were dird. Okay, Um, yeah, I don't know, like sometimes if sometimes, well, I'm gonna make an appointment. It's like, uh, nose doctor, sleep doctor. Last night I slept on my side instead of my back, and I feel ten times better. I think we've been recording. Should I play some record the recording? But also, don't sleep on your side, especially if you're a lady. Sleep on your back. It'll help a wrinkle. Not all right, fun the wrinkles. Bro. I literally am like gasping for air in my sleep. I sleep like I'm in my little coffin. And I always been a back sleeper, and it's probably why I look so young. Is this a sleep talking one? Yeah? Yeah, yeah? But fuck cut that out? Which one is it? You take your time to find it? Was it this night or this night? It was last two nights? Last night, I was sleeping on my back, bro, And it's fucking me up. That wasn't a bad store. There's what is this one that's not too bad? There's there's something there that are like, I'm gasping, dude, I don't know. We'll check it, my guy, we'll check it out. But I sleping my snotty kid, you know what I mean. But I slept on my side last night and I feel ten times better. Um, we're gonna go to sleep doctor for you. Yeah, sleep sleep doctor will be good. But yeah, like definitely have an addicted personality. Oh also quit zen the nicotine and now like I feel even like extra good. Um, because that it's a fucking addicts. I'd wake up pop one in and I would go through like five like energy like adderall or something. It would give you a little bit of an energy boost, but not like an It was just more it was I don't know. It gets to the point where it gets the point where you're so addicted to it that you like thinking like you need it to get through the day. So you don't even get to feel that nice buzz that you feel when you first pop one in. You're just forever chasing that dragon. It's just something your brain is just like put one in just to feel. So I think something. Um, I think Darryl's father had an alcohol problem, and I feel like Darryl has an addictive personality just like you. But he he'll get pretty excelled. Yeah, but even like with health things, He's like, guys, I found this new thing, I'm doing it. And then he tries to sell it on everybody, and he is like, this is how many? For most of it, I just couldn't get down with the potatoes. Just nothing but potatoes for like a week. He lost five pounds. It wasn't wrong, but it was stupid as potatoes like apples. I was like, at least fucking cook and put some salt on it, like enjoy this. No. I was like, I can't get down with this, brother, But now what you're doing, we're happy and happy. Yeah, but yeah, the now that there's no nicotine fiend that I'm having, I'm I feel my sleep is getting better, even though it sounds like it's not. It is getting better. I'm just gonna stop slip in my back um and I no longer have that itch throughout the day of like funk, I have got popped on it. I gotta pop in nicotine is very That was almost harder than quitting Booze. Those first three days of No More Zin, I was fucking miserable. I had insomnia. I was like, whoa, this is a lot stronger than I thought it was. And then that when something like that happens, does ruly want to get out? They had the dog's bargain. When something like that happens, I'm like, all right, this is a good thing that I'm quitting this, because when you're waking up and you don't feel awake until you're popping us in, I'm like, what the funk, what the funk am I doing? And it's annoying. It's like you put them in your lip, I'm probably working up my gums. We don't need this, so we cut that out, so, you know, just absolutely nothing. Yeah, I was gonna say, do you believe zero vices? Do you believe that people need a vice? Because if I look back at my like at this last year, I haven't I don't have really a vice. I have Like sometimes I get pizza, Like maybe it's food, but I think I've transferred. Yeah, mine is now to lenty ice cream. I think I overindulge in to lengthy ice cream. Yeah. But someone was like, you have to have a vice, and I'm like, I don't know, you have to. I think it's common for people to have one. I feel like the more that I meditating, the more that I do whim off, the less I need a need advice. Yeah, Like I wish might played video games. That's dopamine. You gotta think of stuff that gives you. I wish my advice was to be present, yeah, which I'm starting to read the power of now. If any of y'all are struggling to be present, find you a baby. Um, if you have like a little young cousins. Children are constantly in the now of our world. Therapist was like, just be with your son, just sit with him, watch him, just be And I was like, cool, And he does it so well. Every second he's in the moment and he's like wow, wow, wow, would you look at that? Would you look at that? And I mean, well, he can't see, yeah, he can't. He's still looking at it. Update on baby rally. He needs glasses. He needs glasses because I birthed my brother. I couldn't see at all the eye glasses at like what three or four. No, back then, dude, they didn't get him till you were like five. You were like walking around on the mall and you were like, oh, you're right, like five. And she told me, she was like, just like in the last just recently, we can catch it at six months now. I mean, that's absurd that he's only a year and a half and he's like noticed that he barely a year and a half and they're already like, okay, so his left eye, he's not using it, and we were like what because it's blurry as fuck. It's literally half my left eye is a strong eye. His left is half the strength of his right eye. So and I've noticed now because I'm paying attention now he's like a little cross side and I'm crossing if I don't wear my contacts. This is my life. This is but only if I really focus on something, I can like play it off that I'm not cross side if I just keep my world blurry. But the minute like I get this close to you and and I focus on your face, it's just like and he used to not have a tooth. So he was like, guys, you would get you get girls though, and you'd be like, could you imagine next to this and the fun good morning? Um? But yeah, so Riley needs cute little taller glasses. It's they'll be adorable. I'm trying to go today. But Darryl, as you know, is a commission. He's like, I will rally for my son. And I was like, okay, we'll talk later and see um. But we're gonna try to go get glasses. My worry is that one is like half the strength of the other eye. So I said, you know, it's one going to be a big googly eye and one's not. And she was like, yeah, so there's this one guy who's really good at making them look kind of even, but with this crazy difference. I was like, is it a crazy difference, man, because he's like you might see little, you know, a little difference. But and then she gave me a speech to about like so this is a medical condition and this is these They are cute and fashionable, but they're not fashion These are to help him. And I was like, all right, what what were you going with this? And she was like like, so when you take pictures of him, you keep on the glasses, right. It was like, of course, the fucking cute. I was like, we're doing a magazine cover very soon. I was like, who do you think I am? Glasses are cool? She was, she was sweet and great, but yeah, apparently he hasn't been using his left eye at all because it's so hard for him. Yeah, so like he's already happy baby, just wait until he could like see clearly the kid's gonna go nuts. It makes sense, so why he doesn't really He's also one, but he doesn't sit for a long time and watch a movie like I'll get distracted and then be in it and then I'd be like I play time, and I'm like, oh, you can't really see what's going on, can you don't. I think it's just a baby who's he's like a go. I saw some videos of line of like mind babies who put glasses on and then it's like a big reaction and they're like mama. Then they're like you can see and everyone's crying. I was like, he's going to be like that, and she's like, well, he's one, so he probably won't care. And I was like, so awesome, so cool, so sweet. I'll film with just in case. Yeah, you gotta film with just a case. I think I think he's gonna he'll like at least give a big smile. Yeah. I mean, I can't believe he passed his swimming test. He had a swim to the shelf every day. You could only see with one eye. Also, crazy coincidence. I don't know if it's a coincidence, orbit's a matter of fact of what happened words, um when he was a newborn, he didn't open his weak eye. He was remember he was pop bye. He would like this for like a month and would sometimes open it and then be like So I'm like, well he just didn't have a fair chance with that. I you know, damn and be all right. Um, I just remembered us to circle back on sobriety. So it's great. Yeah, Riley teaches us to stay in the moment. That helps. And yeah, I did have um kind of a week last week. What are you doing? We got the dog in her she's yeah, you literally just litterally get it out here. Maybe she's got a pee or the Um. I was having an off week a couple of weeks ago, being like, did I make the right choice? Am I? Am? I the sober guys is what I'm gonna do? Like why can't I just like go out and casually drink without like blacking out, doing a bunch of drugs and fucking the same reason why Darryl can't fucking drink casually? And then you gave me the greatest gift of all time. And that was a voice message from Tim Dillon and like, I we can't really play. It's different fan base. You know, the guy makes some dark Joe oakes that are might go above people's heads. They might take it too seriously. I don't know, but but Tim Dylan is my hero and that voice No alone really just clicked it back in of I am making the right choice here. All is well, this is a part of my life, and I'm not alone with Tim Dylan. You know, he said he's been sober for what twelve twelve years something like that. I don't want to suck that up, but he's been over at least a decade. Yeah, Like the he was pretty much the saying you're too old for that ship. Cut it out like real it in, don't be a fucking loser. You should replay it for Darryll today. Yeah, I'll send it do, but thank you for doing that. That was like, I'm like, dude, I listened to Tim Dylan every day and now I was talking directly to me. Dude, he's just like Ryan. Congrats on the years, right. I think you're the skinny, younger, straight version of him. I swear you're his little twin brother. I love that guy. Did you guys look very similar your nose? Yeah, just Irish drunks fuckingh man. But that that was thank you, Tim Dal and I will forever be grateful. Yeah, I don't do whatever you want. So when I when I get down in the dumps, I just play that voice and I'm like, you should be your alarm in the morning. I can't do it every day. What are you crazy? No? I wake up to like a slow like the rainforest slowly starting. I needed that this morning. You know. I saw some TikTok that this guy saying that we should be waking up to light and not sound. I think there's like special lamps that like slowly. I think that might be a move. You should look okay because then and then like the light beams through your eyelids and you're like it's daytime. It's daytime. Your circadium rhythm or whatever it's called. Yeah, that sounded smart c C wrong. I'm trying. I'm trying to fix you know. I know about this because babies like to get them on a pattern, come out of your belly. They're like, what time is it? So we were always like it's morning, and we play birds and we have all the windows and lights open, and then we'd be like it's night time and we showed every light off and that I swear to God, that made my baby a fucking sleeper. Like that kid was sleeping at three months, easy through the night. That's the ship. Sleep is the best circadian rhythm. Check it out. Sleep is health. Yeah. So now I'm just addicted to working out sober. Yeah. Oh, I guess that's fun working out. Do you really like it? I still like I've been aunty all day. I've been waiting to get in the gym today because we had to do the YouTube live and You're like, let's do a pocket. I'm like, yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna squeeze us in. But I need to get to the gym, like I need to get there. Yeah, I'm supposed to work out time. I just like that. I mean some days, obviously, if I'm too sore, I'm like fun past my three I was asleep, isn't like. But today I woke up filing fresh, so I'm ready to get get active. Like yesterday I took off because my legs are killing me. But their shorts are we short today? Huh? Like that? They're nice? Up. I'm just looking at like you're bad boy. Um and then you know, I do see some messages that people reach out to me and they're like, hey, I listen to the podcast. I want to thank you for being open and honest about your journey. I'm recently sober and it's really fucking hard and you're making it a little easier. And then that melts my heart, and um, that's kind of what the goal of this whole journey was. Um was to you know, help someone else with their dude. There's nothing better than like coming out with your demons and then it helps other people. Yeah, that's been the cool No, yeah, it's super personal. I never thought it'd be a single. I was like, yeah, really, yeah, really occurred. Ball for I was just my whole family is like, it's bad for me. He's going first, but yeah, you're you're speaking about personal issues from the heart. Tiki Talk loves it and they're all like I needed this years ago, and I was like, oh my god, it's the best feeling. You're doing a good thing. I'm doing, so don't fail, don't suck it up. I'm good. I saw Darrel last snag. Don't miss this, Like maybe he did a good thing. He's never going to drink every gay. This looks no fun. It was miserable, and I know how bad he feels today. Bro, he feels like a fucking train hit him and his life and life is just crumbling. Like this feels like a trader. He feels like like the worst person. He's like, I'm sorry, You're fine. It's just nothing but guilty pain. I'm just gonna say sorry every time I see you. Okay, Yeah, it was good for me and I was like, oh I was, I was this guy and now I'm not. Look at me, go look at you now? So how about dating apps? Get on the still working on myself, not yet the best version of me? What about like a happy year, like two years sober and maybe Yeah, I'm still just trying to dial it in. I'm close to being the best version of myself. What are you scared of? Heartbreak? We're finding the one both. What are you afraid of? I'm a fucking loser? Podcast with my sister I played games on Twitch for like. Podcast is super successful and helping a bunch of people fucking dirty, Like what am I doing? You're thriving? Are you fucking kidding me? Stop that? Pitt pet working on it. Thanks for listening. I'm not good enough for anybody yet. Alright. I love you guys, Thanks for listening, Thanks were listening. Don't cry. We love you. We're working on it, working on a pot all socials. Megan's YouTube. Um, sometimes I still twitch. I don't know, dude, twitch talk Megan Trainer, Um, bad for me? Out now video out now. Oh you guys enjoyed that website. I'm so glad you went on it. Um. My therapist told me to dot co you can write a letter to someone who's toxic in your life and practice there. They all they're all anonymous, so get out your emotions without your feelings. Website still love we love it, love to see it. Anyways, thanks for listening. I love you. I love you. Bye. Hand it, hand on it and I've been working on working on it, working on working on cass

I'm working on again on it, working again on it. I'm gonna working on again on't on it, working on working on Okay, let me let me say this at the top. Um. I know we're usually fun and bubbly and we don't talk about politics and the news and all that ship, but today we woke up excited to release a song, but also very sad because roversus Wade was overturned and I believe it's bullshit and I feel like a woman should have the right to choose to do what she wants to do with her body. And it's frustrating and heartbreaking and um, if you want to learn more about it, you can go to Planned Parenthood dot org. Learn how to help raise your voice, make some noise, and keep voting, and just keep talking about it. That's all I wanted to say. Very well, my heart was broken today. Man just fucking sucks and everything is spooky nowadays. I agree with you on all accounts. Okay, Okay, back to the Gigglies, Friends and family, Friends and family, Friends and family, welcome back to another episode of working on It, Working on it. Now. You've been working on a whole bunch of stuff and it's finally coming to life, get here, and I was sleep So I feel like you do a little celebration last night. Um. We recorded Kimmel yesterday and that was hardest part of the week, I think, because I'm nervous as hell performing like live in front of humans. Haven't done that in three years, even though it was like maybe twelve people, but it was you know, to the world whoever was watching Jimmy Gimmel. I saw young Megan on stage, and I haven't seen young Megan on stage like that probably since like your first um maybe Wango Tango, or first like jingle Ball, or like the show in Vegas you did outside that Yeah, I was a noivous. Um song is hard to sing and it's also emotional, so I can't. Like, if I really think about why I wrote the song, I'll start crying and I can't. So I have to like being actress, really you get you get emotional like that. Yeah, songwriter, get it there and get your money sing it. You actually feel stuff singing that song. Oh my god, remember remember I tried to sing um. My last album, Shoot Myself was a song Oh baby girl, baby girl. I started saying, good, I'm like documentary you can see me. I'm like, I'm larger in that clip and I'm not healthy, and I'm exhausted and overworked and I I'm singing baby Girl, which all the lyrics are like be nice to yourself, love yourself, stop being so hard on yourself. And I'm I'm like, I can't get through this because I fucking hate myself like I was. And I started crying and I'm like, I can't do it. I can't sing. During the rehearsals, I was like, sounds like she's gonna do this. Broke the down and then I did it on Good Morning America the next day somehow, But yeah, performing on Kimmel bad for me. I I'm also alone alone. Luckily Teddy Swims was there for me in the second verse, but I had to go out there first. And I know, I know singers like on the four when we did that in on American Adom, when they get nervous, you can hear them tremble, and that's what I was trying to avoid that. But I definitely did it, and I was like, he barely did it? Please many problemise, you know, I was really scared. But then I listened back in the room in the booth after I listened to and I was like, oh, I'm not that bad. That was pretty good. Yeah, if anything, it's more it's just passionate. And I was gorgeous, tell you what I was. And Teddy crushed it. She was always good. Also, he was one of those which I'm grateful for that like was more nervous and more um struggling in the sound checks and I was like, but Live was like the best season. That's the athlete of him, right, Yeah, you have a bad practice. I used to be like that and now I'm funked up in my mind and I'm like we're slow because I was like, yeah, it sounds just like the track. She's chilling. So then we did Kimmel. Then we went home and we were going to bed and everything was good. We crushed the day. I was like, because friends was Scott Hoeing from Pentatonics, who's also seeing backgrounds on Bad for Me in the second verse as a choir and joy that's him and he put together this amazing girl group called Citizen Queen and I love them. Check them out online. They're so talented. There's these four girls their queens, and I wrote a song for them called Criminals and they were having their first headlining show in l a at is what we were told. Um. So at nine pm, we're in bed drinking wine, celebrating the Kimmel performance, and my husband looks at me and was like, let's do it. Fuck it, let's go. And I was like what. I was like, really, you mean it? And he was like, yeah, let's go. Why not, funking? Who cares? We're cool parents, And I was like okay. So we ran and put a hoodie on in sneakers and got an uber which I haven't ubered in so long because I don't go anywhere, and we drove to downtown, which was thirty four minutes from the house, and we were at the Moroccans something a tiny club, little bar situation, and it was hot. How wait, forty five minute drive, thirty four minute drive. Okay, okay, and that's too bad that hot in there A lot of bodies, a lot of bodies gonna take room. I had my mask on the whole time. I was the only human being with the mask on. Anybody see yeah. And they couldn't recognize me though, because the mask was great, But then some people did, and then everyone just kept looking at me and I was like, uh. Then they performed. They went They're supposed they went on and at thirty my guy. So when we got there, Daryl wanted to celebrate. He already had his wine, remind you. So we got there and he had not one. I thought it was one two shots of Kendall Jenner's tequila. Um. And then he decided to have beers after that. And Darryl thinks that he is a Marvel character if you will, because he doesn't ever throw up when he drinks. He just falls asleep like a dead body. And then I have to carry him and take care of him. And he hasn't done that since our honeymoon, and that's been three years now. Um. And because on our honeymoon we learned and I said, never again, will you do this to me? Um. So he's drinking and I noticed he's getting he's I thought he was pretending to be white girl wasted. Oh, and I was like, ha ha, it's not funny anymore. Like he's like, I can't believe we're out like that ship, and he's like, you're here and I love that you're here. And I literally I thought he was acting. And I was like ha ha stop. Then I I I clicked and I go, oh, he's fucked. I saw. I was like, oh, Darryl post An is story. Let's see how the show is. And it's just like it's like a two second clip and he's just like it's like, I don't scream too loud because Raley's sleeping up stairs. He's just like shaky. And then he for twenty minutes, He's like Citizen Queen's and it doesn't take anyone and I got no baby hold up and I just typed before him and I was like, go ahead, pose sat you dumb bit. I love you so much with all my heart. And then I realized, like, oh, fuck me, he's really drunk. I haven't seen him a strong since our honeymoon. He's going to fall asleep. Um. And so I looked at my manager, Pepie, who was there. I blame him, and I was like, take away the beer, like caught him off, he's done, and he was like sure, and like a toddler, Daryl looks at me. I was like, put the drink down, and he goes it, starts chugging his beer like sure, what are you doing? Then he was and he was totally fine. And then we were hanging out with Brittany Broski. I don't want to say her name wrong, but I fucking love her and she was so funny yea. And then we were outside trying to get a Uber and he could barely. I was like, we're doomed because he could barely get me an Uber and I was like, I don't have the app, so you need to sack up and get me a fucking Uber and get me home. Okay. So then we're in the uber ride and he's fallen asleep. I kind of have the videos. Should we share him? Don't over share it? And I go, oh fuck, I can't get him out of the car, but myself like I can't carry him. So I text Ryan praying that he's awake. At midnight, I texted you up. Yeah, So my my night was I get a FaceTime from you guy. I'm just gaming, you know, not even streaming, just relax and just what a what a awesome, cool day. We'll play a little apex and kick it. By the time you text me, it's midnight and that's when I'm like, PM, I get my little sleepy tea ready. I put on my better call saut and I'm just on the couch vibing with the dogs. It might sleepy tea. You text me at midnight? Are you awake? Yeah? What's good? Damn you're a plate, I say to Megan. Megan says, I need help. I go, okay, where now I'm a little I'm a little rattle. I'm like, I have not seen an I need help text from Megan maybe ever It's like have I done that? Uh? On my way home with a drunk Darryl and he's passed out in the uber. I go, ha, got you. I'm like, can't be that bad guy? Pizza for dinner. Should soak up all the booze. I don't think he will be able to wake up. I am so mad at him. L. Well, I'm literally sober enough to drive, but I would never never drink and drive ever. Yeah, but it was like you didn't even you didn't even drink. I was like, I could pass a test right now, Like I didn't. It was just like it was like a comparative of like, how is this the situation? Are we the same person? And we were drinking together and he's that and I stuck off and did his own thing he did. Then you sent then you sent a little video of manuver and he's kind of just like no, he's closing his eyes and he started going, yeah, he's just and I I didn't know what that meant. Also, you have to know Darryl, he doesn't ever like when he's drunk. He just falls asleep really hard and it's dead body weight. But he never pukes. And it was like his trophy, like he would be like, um, vomit free since oh three, Like hasn't thrown up since two thousand three. So Jenny even said it at the bar ordering a drink, vomit. It's almost like he self sabotaged himself by yeah, a curse. Um. But yeah, I saw the videos, like I'm holding his head up in the car so he can lean on something. Um, you say, just so lame. I had one glass of wine. I hate booze. I'm like, yes, okay, alright, you can't hang. That's why I'm upset you thirty years old. He threw up. Helps Yeah, We're on the fucking highway and he goes to put the window down and he goes like this and I was like no, and then he goes he looks back at me like like uh huh, it's about to happen, and they go all down. When you guys arrived and he got of the car, it was really just all over himself. So it was it was it was what did out of the car? Bro It was in the corner that he's been doing that all night, little corner pockets where I'm like, there's a bucket. Anyways, so he threw up. He comes inside, He's smiling at Ryan. He looks pale still. So I was like, oh, it's not done. And then I said, get him some water with some element hydration formula um, and then I carried him up the stairs. But he really was walking on his own. But you know, here's the here's the thing. You've guys carried me to bed thousands of times. So I was like, this is no no problem whatsoever. It's the least I can do. How funny is it that before all this, he was like, do you mind if I have a glass of wine? Oh? Yeah, he goes to me. He was still the sober guy. He go, right, it's a cool glass of wine. Was like, yeah, dude, my friends do drunk, black drunk and see later I didn't know that glass of wine was going to turn into that. I thought shots. I thought it was just like a line with the pizza. So then then he sees our bed and he faced plants like body dives on it, and I go, no, like just throw up on his shirt. And I'm dragging him like a movie, like pulling his shoes off, pulling his pants off, like babe, I gotta shower. You you're disgusting, get out of my bed. And I pulled him to the shower. Luckily we have a bench in the shower. I sent him down, hose his bitch down. I start washing him with shampoo and he's like and I'm like almost done, can you lift your arm? Like I'm talking to him like he's Riley. He's like me old, dye him off. And then I pushed him into the bed and then I shower and I'm just like depressed because I'm like, this is not how this night was supposed to go. He's supposed to kept texting me. I was already first. Yeah, I was like fuck this. And then I come back from the shower and he crawls all the way to my side of the bed, crosses over this Callie king bed. I go where you're going by? Where are you going? And he's like over the side, on my fucking side of the bed, but he slow throw up yeah, because it's silent too. He's like, I only threw up violently. Then he started doing that. So then we're going to bed. I'm checking if he's breathing. His mom's like, make sure he's not choking, and I was like, Jesus fucking Christ, can he die like this with a dumb way to die? So I'm checking that he's breathing. He's like super uncomfortable on the side. So I tried to put the pillow under him and he was like yeah, then he can't get comfortable and he starts m hm. And I was like, are you gonna throw up? And this was the one in between, like you know, your side table and that creef right in that pocket, the trash kids right next to it. No, no, no, I go to the crease, into the crease projectile bombs and I go no, even no, And then I literally holding the bucket, like please, please, sir, the bucket and then and he it sounds like he's in his lungs. He doesn't know how to throw up like that and he's like, like it's bad. And and then I kept looking at him. I was like, are you choking? And he's like looking like he's choking and he goes and I was like, you're not choking, poor bastards. And then he did go. He doesn't remember thing, but he did go. Oh that was it. The demon left his body. It's good that he threw up. I mean everything was gone. I like would rarely throw up. I would have to be it was probably close to death when I would throw up, but I would usually just would keep it all in and then the next stay just feel like a train hit me. But yeah, this is what happens when you're thirty. He's a dad, and he goes, yeah, I have a little wine, little beer, a couple of shots of this is my first night out as a dad. That's what he kept saying. And I was like, he's just making like a witch's brew and his stomach of like everything make the pizza like bad idea. And you said before I went to the show, well, at least you have good karma going to that show. It's like, you know, maybe if you don't have the most fun, you kind of regret it. At least you'll have some good karma A top ten. Now you should have extra good You'll you'll personally, you will have extra good karmena because then you have to take care of Darryll that whole Oh no, he owes me for life. Now, it's great to be on the side of things. So I went to put at three covered and throw up, smelling vomit and just crying just like you know, like my night. Um. But it's Darryll's Darrell's re realization. The thirty slaps you right in the face. You're done, kid, you know, no more of that. So I told him, smoke pot, do whatever you want. We're not I'm not letting you take a sip of alcoholiver again. Sorry, kid, can't hang doesn't those limits? But I love him so much And what a fun memory this will be bor. It was great for me to segue into we could you know, do a little working on sobriety Part two. It's been a it's been a year. I think Mary is super No, I think he's gonna be like I'm gonna have to do with Ryan's don't. Yeah, it's just like weird how he can he doesn't know his limits. That was my that was my issue. I would never know. You didn't like, I don't know, you didn't cause a scene. I almost took that mother to the er last night, like thinking he got poisoned. Yeah, did you ever wake up and there throw up in your bed? I never threw up in my bed. I would throw up, he like, and he had throw up on the bed. I cleaned it off, but he had. There was a towel in a bucket and he comes in peas with me on our double toilets in the morning and he's like, I'm sorry, and I was like, you threw up And he's like, I threw up. I was a great joking. He's like I did. I was like in the uber in the bed on the other side of the bed. He was like, oh my god. I was like, yeah, you can throw up. I saw it. Yeah. Mine would always be the next day, not so much the night of that. I think one of my lowest moments was in Nashville. One of those things that you did and I was shipping up at the same time you were blue, And actually that was the night of it was like I had left the lobby bars wait till late I was like, I shouldn't have been there, and then I just went right to the what did you drink? Maybe food poison because you looked like Mom was like, should I take him to the hospital. No, it was what I drank that day because um, it was on tour. So I saw the uh remember you had the Tampac sponsor. I saw all the girls that I was working with that like, we're helping me like direct the shoots and what to get for content, and they're like, let's get your shots. I'm like yeah, They're like we're doing whiskey. I'm like, yikes, it's two p m. That was like the beginning of my day and then it ended. I had drank all day and then by the end of the night, I was in that hotel lobby drinking like vodka soda. So I can't even I don't even know what I drank throughout the day, but it was definitely whiskey beer, whiskey beer, tequila, whiskey beer, and then ended with vodka and it just exited my body like an exorcism. And it was like after that, I was like, I think I gotta quit drinking because I have no just zero control, just floating around. I think that probably probably a dozen. Yeah I can get four times, because yeah, you would, you would see some of them that were around you. And then I had a lot of dark moments alone where I'm like shaking in my bed after like a four day bender of like what am I doing with my life? Have you seen on TikTok there's a trend where this girl is like, what's the biggest scam? That's like, um, I've seen that. That's like, what's the biggest scam that God damn it that everyone keeps getting away with? But it should be booze. We are paying money that we don't have alcohol, kissing it away to have a little bit of blurriness to feel like shit and for people with anxiety the next day and made my anxiety sometimes worse. Yeah, you fucking pay for it. I was like, is ridiculous, It's absurd. It was something I definitely used to cope with your anxiety, but also like make other people interesting. Now it's hard to hang out with people at a bar. I mean, d young people are annoying to begin with, and I'm like, funk, it's it's it's like I was one of them. Um, no, you weren't. Bro that was the issue and you were fun. No, not all the time. You know, I would have my moments. Um, but like become so normalized that we don't even realize it's a scam anymore. Um. Yeah, I realized. I'm learning a lot about myself. And I have weeks where I'm like ramped up and everything is crumbling, and um, I feel terrible. I hate what I'm doing in my life. I will never succeed. Da da da da da. And I used to just be like, go ahead quite now thoughts, goodbye, goodbye whiskey. Yeah, but now I have new tricks where I'm like, all right, cool, Um, I could go for a run, I could lay down and do whim off. That's been I brought that back that. Yeah, I'm like, I feel like I feel terrible. I'm gonna lay down and breathe. It gets me too high out and well, I listen. I loved getting you're here, kahole. I love to just disappear. Uh yeah, no, you just breathing just helps everything. But that specifically it does feel pretty. You get like an out of body experience. But I'm like, all right, cool, I need to I need to calm down to here's something I can do that You don't have to pour booze, like she says, because it's a temporary fix and then you feel worse when it's gone. Mentally, I feel ten times better, Like, h it's night and day really um, and you know I'm a little bored, but I just have to find new things to do at night. I guess I'm still I'm the youngest man alive. So all my friends, you know, they still go out all the time, and like a couple of them have wife's and girlfriends and they're pretty also boring. But we just golf with those buddies. You know, that's good stuff they ca Yeah, I guess I guess a hobby, per per se. Maybe I hit a break and be like, let me go to the comedy, like go to some comedy shows or something. Um. But yeah, that's why I start painting, you know, because my brain freaks out of not working. I don't want to start painting. Where can we paint? We need a paint. I have a whole room upstairs not being used, has all my art supply in it. That yeah, until my daughter comes, that's our art gallery, bro, It's not a bad scheme, per So, yeah, find hobbies out there. Have you ever considered antidepreched? What is it? Uh? Medicine? No antidepressants. I'm on him and I've put so many chemicals in my brain that it works for me. No, it's not that I don't believe it. I think what works for me is meditating, whim off and exercising. My mental feels good. It's literally just boredom, which isn't like I'm not depressed when I when I ramp up, it's just because I'll think about one thought over and over and over and again, like just like what everyone does now. Possibly the brain's healed brains and the fact that you're talking about it right now, you're being healed by your magic angry brain. Right. No? Better sweet too, because bad for me just dropped in his top ten on iTunes and I'm so happy, but almost that about so many things. That's literally this is life working on it um and then but then I have weeks where I'm like today, I woke up feeling amazing. I also will do you know what might have sleep bapw So listen, yesterday we were eating pizza. He was standing next to me while I was sitting and I looked up his nose and I was like, Jesus, motherfucking Christ, your nose is blocked. You can't breathe that at one side of your nose. Don't drugs, don't um. But he has a deviated septum. We don't know why we think or is it confirmed? Are you a doctor? It's probably a bro. I don't know. It's just I could see one hole is open and one is not, and it's like your nose cartilage, it is cless sing it and I can see when he's breathing. I mean, I've been reached. Probably. My mom was literally, oh, is that why she cried? I don't know. She cried before she went home and she was like it's a proud and we're like, what is this crying? Um? But yeah, I just noticed. When we're doing a podcast or our ads, he's like, hell, bother's right, I'm not that stuffy dude, And I dude, you're that's you get the ec cranking bro. I feel like I have a cold every single time, and in this house it's the coldest house. We didn't just clean the vents. They were dird. Okay, Um, yeah, I don't know, like sometimes if sometimes, well, I'm gonna make an appointment. It's like, uh, nose doctor, sleep doctor. Last night I slept on my side instead of my back, and I feel ten times better. I think we've been recording. Should I play some record the recording? But also, don't sleep on your side, especially if you're a lady. Sleep on your back. It'll help a wrinkle. Not all right, fun the wrinkles. Bro. I literally am like gasping for air in my sleep. I sleep like I'm in my little coffin. And I always been a back sleeper, and it's probably why I look so young. Is this a sleep talking one? Yeah? Yeah, yeah? But fuck cut that out? Which one is it? You take your time to find it? Was it this night or this night? It was last two nights? Last night, I was sleeping on my back, bro, And it's fucking me up. That wasn't a bad store. There's what is this one that's not too bad? There's there's something there that are like, I'm gasping, dude, I don't know. We'll check it, my guy, we'll check it out. But I sleping my snotty kid, you know what I mean. But I slept on my side last night and I feel ten times better. Um, we're gonna go to sleep doctor for you. Yeah, sleep sleep doctor will be good. But yeah, like definitely have an addicted personality. Oh also quit zen the nicotine and now like I feel even like extra good. Um, because that it's a fucking addicts. I'd wake up pop one in and I would go through like five like energy like adderall or something. It would give you a little bit of an energy boost, but not like an It was just more it was I don't know. It gets to the point where it gets the point where you're so addicted to it that you like thinking like you need it to get through the day. So you don't even get to feel that nice buzz that you feel when you first pop one in. You're just forever chasing that dragon. It's just something your brain is just like put one in just to feel. So I think something. Um, I think Darryl's father had an alcohol problem, and I feel like Darryl has an addictive personality just like you. But he he'll get pretty excelled. Yeah, but even like with health things, He's like, guys, I found this new thing, I'm doing it. And then he tries to sell it on everybody, and he is like, this is how many? For most of it, I just couldn't get down with the potatoes. Just nothing but potatoes for like a week. He lost five pounds. It wasn't wrong, but it was stupid as potatoes like apples. I was like, at least fucking cook and put some salt on it, like enjoy this. No. I was like, I can't get down with this, brother, But now what you're doing, we're happy and happy. Yeah, but yeah, the now that there's no nicotine fiend that I'm having, I'm I feel my sleep is getting better, even though it sounds like it's not. It is getting better. I'm just gonna stop slip in my back um and I no longer have that itch throughout the day of like funk, I have got popped on it. I gotta pop in nicotine is very That was almost harder than quitting Booze. Those first three days of No More Zin, I was fucking miserable. I had insomnia. I was like, whoa, this is a lot stronger than I thought it was. And then that when something like that happens, does ruly want to get out? They had the dog's bargain. When something like that happens, I'm like, all right, this is a good thing that I'm quitting this, because when you're waking up and you don't feel awake until you're popping us in, I'm like, what the funk, what the funk am I doing? And it's annoying. It's like you put them in your lip, I'm probably working up my gums. We don't need this, so we cut that out, so, you know, just absolutely nothing. Yeah, I was gonna say, do you believe zero vices? Do you believe that people need a vice? Because if I look back at my like at this last year, I haven't I don't have really a vice. I have Like sometimes I get pizza, Like maybe it's food, but I think I've transferred. Yeah, mine is now to lenty ice cream. I think I overindulge in to lengthy ice cream. Yeah. But someone was like, you have to have a vice, and I'm like, I don't know, you have to. I think it's common for people to have one. I feel like the more that I meditating, the more that I do whim off, the less I need a need advice. Yeah, Like I wish might played video games. That's dopamine. You gotta think of stuff that gives you. I wish my advice was to be present, yeah, which I'm starting to read the power of now. If any of y'all are struggling to be present, find you a baby. Um, if you have like a little young cousins. Children are constantly in the now of our world. Therapist was like, just be with your son, just sit with him, watch him, just be And I was like, cool, And he does it so well. Every second he's in the moment and he's like wow, wow, wow, would you look at that? Would you look at that? And I mean, well, he can't see, yeah, he can't. He's still looking at it. Update on baby rally. He needs glasses. He needs glasses because I birthed my brother. I couldn't see at all the eye glasses at like what three or four. No, back then, dude, they didn't get him till you were like five. You were like walking around on the mall and you were like, oh, you're right, like five. And she told me, she was like, just like in the last just recently, we can catch it at six months now. I mean, that's absurd that he's only a year and a half and he's like noticed that he barely a year and a half and they're already like, okay, so his left eye, he's not using it, and we were like what because it's blurry as fuck. It's literally half my left eye is a strong eye. His left is half the strength of his right eye. So and I've noticed now because I'm paying attention now he's like a little cross side and I'm crossing if I don't wear my contacts. This is my life. This is but only if I really focus on something, I can like play it off that I'm not cross side if I just keep my world blurry. But the minute like I get this close to you and and I focus on your face, it's just like and he used to not have a tooth. So he was like, guys, you would get you get girls though, and you'd be like, could you imagine next to this and the fun good morning? Um? But yeah, so Riley needs cute little taller glasses. It's they'll be adorable. I'm trying to go today. But Darryl, as you know, is a commission. He's like, I will rally for my son. And I was like, okay, we'll talk later and see um. But we're gonna try to go get glasses. My worry is that one is like half the strength of the other eye. So I said, you know, it's one going to be a big googly eye and one's not. And she was like, yeah, so there's this one guy who's really good at making them look kind of even, but with this crazy difference. I was like, is it a crazy difference, man, because he's like you might see little, you know, a little difference. But and then she gave me a speech to about like so this is a medical condition and this is these They are cute and fashionable, but they're not fashion These are to help him. And I was like, all right, what what were you going with this? And she was like like, so when you take pictures of him, you keep on the glasses, right. It was like, of course, the fucking cute. I was like, we're doing a magazine cover very soon. I was like, who do you think I am? Glasses are cool? She was, she was sweet and great, but yeah, apparently he hasn't been using his left eye at all because it's so hard for him. Yeah, so like he's already happy baby, just wait until he could like see clearly the kid's gonna go nuts. It makes sense, so why he doesn't really He's also one, but he doesn't sit for a long time and watch a movie like I'll get distracted and then be in it and then I'd be like I play time, and I'm like, oh, you can't really see what's going on, can you don't. I think it's just a baby who's he's like a go. I saw some videos of line of like mind babies who put glasses on and then it's like a big reaction and they're like mama. Then they're like you can see and everyone's crying. I was like, he's going to be like that, and she's like, well, he's one, so he probably won't care. And I was like, so awesome, so cool, so sweet. I'll film with just in case. Yeah, you gotta film with just a case. I think I think he's gonna he'll like at least give a big smile. Yeah. I mean, I can't believe he passed his swimming test. He had a swim to the shelf every day. You could only see with one eye. Also, crazy coincidence. I don't know if it's a coincidence, orbit's a matter of fact of what happened words, um when he was a newborn, he didn't open his weak eye. He was remember he was pop bye. He would like this for like a month and would sometimes open it and then be like So I'm like, well he just didn't have a fair chance with that. I you know, damn and be all right. Um, I just remembered us to circle back on sobriety. So it's great. Yeah, Riley teaches us to stay in the moment. That helps. And yeah, I did have um kind of a week last week. What are you doing? We got the dog in her she's yeah, you literally just litterally get it out here. Maybe she's got a pee or the Um. I was having an off week a couple of weeks ago, being like, did I make the right choice? Am I? Am? I the sober guys is what I'm gonna do? Like why can't I just like go out and casually drink without like blacking out, doing a bunch of drugs and fucking the same reason why Darryl can't fucking drink casually? And then you gave me the greatest gift of all time. And that was a voice message from Tim Dillon and like, I we can't really play. It's different fan base. You know, the guy makes some dark Joe oakes that are might go above people's heads. They might take it too seriously. I don't know, but but Tim Dylan is my hero and that voice No alone really just clicked it back in of I am making the right choice here. All is well, this is a part of my life, and I'm not alone with Tim Dylan. You know, he said he's been sober for what twelve twelve years something like that. I don't want to suck that up, but he's been over at least a decade. Yeah, Like the he was pretty much the saying you're too old for that ship. Cut it out like real it in, don't be a fucking loser. You should replay it for Darryll today. Yeah, I'll send it do, but thank you for doing that. That was like, I'm like, dude, I listened to Tim Dylan every day and now I was talking directly to me. Dude, he's just like Ryan. Congrats on the years, right. I think you're the skinny, younger, straight version of him. I swear you're his little twin brother. I love that guy. Did you guys look very similar your nose? Yeah, just Irish drunks fuckingh man. But that that was thank you, Tim Dal and I will forever be grateful. Yeah, I don't do whatever you want. So when I when I get down in the dumps, I just play that voice and I'm like, you should be your alarm in the morning. I can't do it every day. What are you crazy? No? I wake up to like a slow like the rainforest slowly starting. I needed that this morning. You know. I saw some TikTok that this guy saying that we should be waking up to light and not sound. I think there's like special lamps that like slowly. I think that might be a move. You should look okay because then and then like the light beams through your eyelids and you're like it's daytime. It's daytime. Your circadium rhythm or whatever it's called. Yeah, that sounded smart c C wrong. I'm trying. I'm trying to fix you know. I know about this because babies like to get them on a pattern, come out of your belly. They're like, what time is it? So we were always like it's morning, and we play birds and we have all the windows and lights open, and then we'd be like it's night time and we showed every light off and that I swear to God, that made my baby a fucking sleeper. Like that kid was sleeping at three months, easy through the night. That's the ship. Sleep is the best circadian rhythm. Check it out. Sleep is health. Yeah. So now I'm just addicted to working out sober. Yeah. Oh, I guess that's fun working out. Do you really like it? I still like I've been aunty all day. I've been waiting to get in the gym today because we had to do the YouTube live and You're like, let's do a pocket. I'm like, yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna squeeze us in. But I need to get to the gym, like I need to get there. Yeah, I'm supposed to work out time. I just like that. I mean some days, obviously, if I'm too sore, I'm like fun past my three I was asleep, isn't like. But today I woke up filing fresh, so I'm ready to get get active. Like yesterday I took off because my legs are killing me. But their shorts are we short today? Huh? Like that? They're nice? Up. I'm just looking at like you're bad boy. Um and then you know, I do see some messages that people reach out to me and they're like, hey, I listen to the podcast. I want to thank you for being open and honest about your journey. I'm recently sober and it's really fucking hard and you're making it a little easier. And then that melts my heart, and um, that's kind of what the goal of this whole journey was. Um was to you know, help someone else with their dude. There's nothing better than like coming out with your demons and then it helps other people. Yeah, that's been the cool No, yeah, it's super personal. I never thought it'd be a single. I was like, yeah, really, yeah, really occurred. Ball for I was just my whole family is like, it's bad for me. He's going first, but yeah, you're you're speaking about personal issues from the heart. Tiki Talk loves it and they're all like I needed this years ago, and I was like, oh my god, it's the best feeling. You're doing a good thing. I'm doing, so don't fail, don't suck it up. I'm good. I saw Darrel last snag. Don't miss this, Like maybe he did a good thing. He's never going to drink every gay. This looks no fun. It was miserable, and I know how bad he feels today. Bro, he feels like a fucking train hit him and his life and life is just crumbling. Like this feels like a trader. He feels like like the worst person. He's like, I'm sorry, You're fine. It's just nothing but guilty pain. I'm just gonna say sorry every time I see you. Okay, Yeah, it was good for me and I was like, oh I was, I was this guy and now I'm not. Look at me, go look at you now? So how about dating apps? Get on the still working on myself, not yet the best version of me? What about like a happy year, like two years sober and maybe Yeah, I'm still just trying to dial it in. I'm close to being the best version of myself. What are you scared of? Heartbreak? We're finding the one both. What are you afraid of? I'm a fucking loser? Podcast with my sister I played games on Twitch for like. Podcast is super successful and helping a bunch of people fucking dirty, Like what am I doing? You're thriving? Are you fucking kidding me? Stop that? Pitt pet working on it. Thanks for listening. I'm not good enough for anybody yet. Alright. I love you guys, Thanks for listening, Thanks were listening. Don't cry. We love you. We're working on it, working on a pot all socials. Megan's YouTube. Um, sometimes I still twitch. I don't know, dude, twitch talk Megan Trainer, Um, bad for me? Out now video out now. Oh you guys enjoyed that website. I'm so glad you went on it. Um. My therapist told me to dot co you can write a letter to someone who's toxic in your life and practice there. They all they're all anonymous, so get out your emotions without your feelings. Website still love we love it, love to see it. Anyways, thanks for listening. I love you. I love you. Bye. Hand it, hand on it and I've been working on working on it, working on working on cass