Order in the Court with Judge Lynn Toler

Published Jun 6, 2022, 4:00 AM

Do you know when to call it quits in a relationship?? Judge Lynn Toller (Divorce Court) is holding court with Jana to share her expertise in knowing when a couple is past the point of no return.
 
Judge Toler has been married 34 years and she’s seen it all! Find out the secret to starting your marriage off on the right foot and why separate bedrooms might be a great idea!

Wine Down with Jane Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast. Hi girls, Oh Angels in Unison, I'm here for this. UM. So we have Judge Lynn Toler coming on today's episode, and I'm really excited because I would love to ask you guys. So there, She's got a new UM, a new show out called Commit or Quit. So basically she goes into married people's houses and then she she makes the decision like whether or not they should be married or not at the end of the day. Would you guys ever do that? I mean, like, I'm sorry, yeah, well, we're just asking one person right now. I would not do that. I would not do that. I what's the difference between that and marriage therapy? But they but they actually send like but they actually see it ins and like you do sometimes wish Chad exactly. That's not just the reporting, the live reporting of the interaction, right, Yeah, I agree, that's that was cool. Um. If it was Chad, I would say, yes, nabe Chad with the gavel. But I don't know. It's hard when someone doesn't. I mean, I'm sure she researches the families, the couples and knows some dynamic. But can I say something about that. Please, here's what would be hard for me if I had or needed to do that or did do that. Amy and I always talk about how not to compare your relationship to other people's relationships because everyone's is different. So I think that would be hard because you can from the outside looking in, you can easily judge anyone's relationship. In my opinion, um, I think that there can be things that you think are unhealthy or things that people So I feel like that would be kind of tough, and that could be something interesting to ask her to, like how what because obviously you're not going to walk in and be like, oh this. There's no perfect relationship, Like there's going to be someone that could be passive one day, or there can be like some you know, emotions or whatever. So it's like I wonder what she does to make that final decision. But and and also like I mean, shoot, Mike and I had all the tools in the world to make our relationship work, and sometimes we practice them and sometimes we didn't, you know, So it's like it's hard, you know. I mean, like you in Preston, like you guys go to a couple of therapy and so sometimes like you go in there and it's like things are great, and then also it's like the next time, it's like it's not great right because he's not working on the things, and it's like it's hard. Yeah, it's like the bullet points. Some visits, it's like just catching up, and then some visits and like in this and this and this. I also do feel though, like she probably because she's done her job for so long, probably can sense and it's probably red flag eat to her. There's probably I just made that at certain but yeah, there's certain things that throw up red flag that should be like, m I've seen this before, Like this is just not gonna work. Remember when you and Mike first sat down with Chad. Yeah, he told us to get divorced. He was like, I don't think it's gonna work. And I'm like what. I was so angry because I'm like I didn't think a therapist could say that I've because I mean I would actually don't know that. I would beg amy to say, Amy, please just tell me what to do, like tell me what to do. And she's like, I can't make that decision for you. And then finally at the very end, she was like it's time like get up. Oh yeah, that was you. Um, but I know I remember saying now with Chad and he was just like, I just don't see this happening. And he's like, I think you guys should separate, and I'm just like, whoa, what, Like this is our first session with you. So I bet she has seen some of those things too, and it's for her to call maybe not easy as the word, but I bet she can make a more professional opinion based on how they act, whether there's some longevity or not. It's just so hard because so I was talking to one of my girlfriends. I'm not going to mention her name, but she's she just filed for divorce with her husband Shells in l A. And she's she called me, well, she sent me some pictures. She's like, update, I'm talking to this guy, but there's some red flags but he's great, and I'm like, and now being in the dating world and like seeing the red flags and not running from those red flags now, I'm like, girl, like no, like. But then at the same time, I'm like, well, I don't know, it's like how big is the red flag? Right? Like if I was to go back into the dating world. It scares me, to be honest, I don't know anybody's doing it. But then like, I'm sure there's red flaggy things about me making it a word again, what's wrong with me? But I'm sure there are depends for sure. I mean I definitely would have red flags. So I think it just kind of depends on But it's like a red flag in progress. Yeah, yes, that's tough. I guess it just depends, like what kind of red flag, like a make or break or you know, I mean see, to me, a red flag would be if someone lies, But I think it means something different for everyone. Like I guarantee you when Nick starts dating again, a red flag for him would be someone that's not as affectionate. Is that a red flag or is that just something that's you know what I'm trying to say, because I'm like, I don't think that's a red flag. I think that's just more of like like for me, if someone's not affectionate, that's not a red flag. That's just that's just they're saying. So I'm like, that just not wouldn't work for me, but you need to have something to her. I guess it just depends what her red flags? Do you see what I'm saying, Like, like if the FBI came while they were going to dinner, red flag? Okay, but is it that's because it's her red flags were like in the very beginning, it was like and I've experienced this too with one of my last relationships where I was like the person told me they loved me within like eight days. I have so many things to say. I know I have too in the past because I'm just such a lover. Like it's just like I'm the lover and I'm like, I love too soon. But that's a red flag. But that is a red flag. That is a love bombing red flagg. That is a total red flag trap. It feels like a trap. I will tell a girl I love her quickly, that's different. But I wouldn't tell like I will never. I mean I had a guy told the lady I loved her today. Yeah that's yeah. I think I see that so different. Um. I also think another red flag that she said was he uh oh he um, he doesn't have like a good um or no, he doesn't like well this is again, this is he doesn't he doesn't have he's a hoarder. He's got a lot of stuff in his house. And but is that a red flag? Is that just something? Definitely don't think that's red. It's just not one of your red flags. But it could be fair. He told her he loved her and he's a hoarder. Oh she's out. I am out a separation, anxiety from everything. Well, then there's the red So that's the red flag. Then is connecting? What like? Why do we hoard? Why do you love me? Why are you trapping me? Yeah? Judgeling Toller is is here, So let's take a break and then we'll get back on this conversation because I think it's interesting some points that we should circle. Background too. Do we all rise? And we all rise? She wanted to hear that. You say that like you're our girl. No need to get up? Good? How are you do? I sound okay? Look okay, you look beautiful. Thank you very much, thank you? Okay, So, um, two of us are divorced, well, one's going through a divorce, one is divorced, one was previously divorced, and I'm not get married. So you need a minute and a flash guard for all that. Sorry, um, so I'm already just like no, I okay, so she's it's going through hers. I mean, I'm a I'm a year out of mind. But is as a divorce lawyer, is there something that you think people miss going through that process that is important that they should um, you know, do or whatever? Yeah, don't wait to live until it's over. Divorce is a it's a business deal that you can do over here, and you can live your life over here. So don't forget to live and enjoy while you're you're you're taking out to trash because a lot of people just focus on that alone. They you know, I've failed. My whole life is unraveling. No, I'm disassociating with this. I'm living over here, and you're not divorced. Once you're over, you get a divorce, then you're just single again. You know, are you married? Uh? Thirty four years? I couldn't tell. With the joy that came over and you said you're divorced, I was like that a feeling? Or is that? How? So thirty four years? How do you guys sustain and keep that beautiful marriage going. We were strong believers in marriage counseling. We went to marriage counseling before we got married, and and we don't wait till things get ugly. We go early, you know stuff, I've been all for a couple of months. We run over there because you know, we want an eye on it. And that way you can only go once or twice. They kind of they stoke you up, that get you together, and you go about your business. Do you ever? Yeah, I mean, shoot, I mean, god, without the money that we all spent on a couple of therapy. Um. I remember having one couple of therapists though that and they went to them that person as well, and I almost felt like the we're pitting us against each other too. Oh, you gotta frighten the right one. Yeah, I mean, because people are people, and just because you were therapists don't mean you've got any sense. So if you go there and realize, you know, there are fools in every profession, and it's like, I mean, it's almost as hard to find a good therapist as it is to find a good good husband or wife because you really, both of you have got to get that person and that person has to get to both of you. So uh, you know, it can be it can be hard to do, but you should always shop until both parties are comfortable. My my lawyer had said something to me too when I filed from divorced my acts and he was just like, don't remarry him. And I was like, what, Like why why would I remarry him? Like what do you mean? It's like you'd be surprised how many people actually remarry their acts like it did not work. Don't marry And I was like, and then it end up. He's like, he's like the amount of times that I've had to like, have you know a divorce, um, you know, to redo it. It's just I'm like, wow, I did not even like yeah. And Facebook is good for that too, because you can find somebody you like twenty years ago on Facebook and you forget all the reasons why you get rid of them, and you get back together. Then you realize, oh my god, you know what I mean, Oh my god, I see why I got ready you. But you don't remember. You just remember the wrong stuff. I don't know anything about that judge. Okay, so commit or quit. We were talking about um, you know that show and you know you get the final say basically to to to stay married or to divorce, and we were we were curious, like what is the what thing do they do that? Because you don't know their circumstances, and I'm sure you know some of them, right, but like, like what you know what their traumas are, what you know how they or maybe shoot, maybe they're going through a bad you know, you know, bad time in their life. And it's like and people can work, I think, so, so what's the what's the line for you to go Okay, no, like this is not gonna work, versus like this kind work. Okay. You know, it's interesting. Most of the people that call the show have been in the washing machine of an unexamined marriage for a long time. So they've been together for seven years, so it's pretty much played out. You just gotta figure out what it is. I talked to his representatives. I talked to her representatives. I talked to mom, I talked to dad, I talked to cousins. I wire up their house, I go through their text messages, I go through their history. I do a lot of work, and then I give them based upon what I see, I'll give them an exercise, make them do something like you have to do this task together, but you need to do this, this and this and based I can see if they can learn, if they can get past where they were, if they're paying attention to it, and you would be you would be amazed, remarkably clear. That answer is so much so that of the nine couples, only one of them disagreed and went back to what I said not to do. Really, do you think they come in knowing already the answer? Listen, I think a couple of the guys call just so they can have a third party there when they dumped a chicken, you know what I do? And I realized like halfway through, as ther boyfriend was out the door, he had is a moment papers under the table was out the door and it was like, you know, she was a lot, and he didn't want to just go. He wanted assistance and he also needed record. Yeah, he feels like he wanted you know, you know, she was tearing up his stuff and interesting is there is there a quality in someone though that you kind of go, that's a red flag? Like what to you? What is a red flag? One guy? I think it's gonna be tonight episode red flag was I asked him what's wrong with you? And he said nothing? Oh bye, mm hmm. I got actually so normally when people say that, I have a series of questions that I asked them and they finally come around to realizing, yes, there are the following things are wrong with me. And the first one I say, you're not self aware, because you're not perfect. So after self aware, what could it be? And then I would ask a number of questions leading him to all, right, this is another fault I have, and this is another one. He couldn't do it. He was unable to form his lips in a sentence that said anything negative about him, and it was it was his lack of self awareness was remarkable. Yeah, yeah, I got so hard I had to leave the room. Yeah, it bothers me. And she was she was one of those unheard women. She was whittled away. Uh. You know. She would watch him as he talked, to make as she talked, to make sure he wasn't bristling at a at something she said, and you know it was he was belittling and it was just she had lost her voice completely. And um, I knew it was was dead in the water in the beginning, but I had to. I had to get her there. Mm hmmm, because he was fine. You know what I mean, he got everything he wanted. He was fine. A lot of them are you know? Um is so you said seven years? Is there a minimum that they have to be married to even apply to do this show? Okay, you can be and there was silent No, No, I'm not interviewing for myself. I actually really loved my husband. But I would love to I would love you to wire my house sometimes right right, just to see what's going on. There's a problem. You don't know, just a little. He's an artist, so you know, there was some come around there. He's a four year old bachelor when I met him, and so there was a slow like he was fine, and creatives are hard sometimes because they think differently, they engage in the world differently. They're not necessarily as practical. So I mean, I don't know if that's his thing, but are like that. Well. I also think in this industry, and I will go probably get slammed for saying this, but there is an entertainment industry, there is this like you have to have a little bit of narcissism on a sliding scale to be able to survive, because you have to think you're great when people don't think you're great. So we just had to chicks to be all together in act ready to go. Yeah, you have to be your own advocate no matter what. Absolutely, so tell me okay, I'm sime No please go go girl, gro girl. Okay. So what are the tasks? When you say I give them a task? Is it like putting together ikea furniture or is it like sending them out of it? Could be, but on the furniture, I will have like as they turn them over, it will be something that they said or that they did. For the woman without the voice, I told her to follow out a red flag every time he heard her feelings so he could have a physical representation of what you know, you know, when he was actually you know, given her the business. Or I will do something like if you're upset about something, you write it on a stick and you put it in ice and you freeze it, and in order to get rid of that stick, he has to break the ice with some act that frees you from the pain that's on that stick. And they can't do anything else until they get that done. So to require them to physically do that makes them have each and every conversation about each and everything that is an issue and they can't. You know, people get on the topic and then they fly over again, they fly over there and they never get finished or they start fighting. But that holds their feet to the fire and they have the conversation that they hadn't had in four or five years about what they need to do. Well, you have to have ownership to get that accomplished. Somebody own something. You got to own it. And we're so good at deflecting, and we're so good at technically that was not my fault in order to process this hope that everybody's got an equal number of complaints and and and they know I'm going to talk to him about it the next day. They're required to engage in a way that does something positive. Or the fact that they are unable to engage in a way that they can just resolve that tells me something as well. When we first went to a couple of therapists, we went because we didn't know how to fight. We didn't fight well. I got Michigan real straight up, real fast, and it was just like and I'm sharp, sharp, sharp at the words, and it just wasn't fair. Um. And he used to come to me and say, oh, you're gonna love this. He used to say, I'm sorry we fought, and I'm like, well, that's not an apology, that's not owning anything. That's just like, I don't even know what that is. I'm sorry your feelings and I'm sorry I said that, And then that would heat up the Michigan and then things to get riled up again, and I was like, Okay, we just got to break the cycle and get to someone, right. Yeah, And I think that's why people should go to a therapist beforehand to teach you how to fight. We took personality tasks. He told us what we were going to run into, you know who. You know, I was not amenable to the institution of marriage as a whole. So here the problems you're gonna have, you're gonna get, you're gonna get sick of him, You're gonna you're gonna want So I we bought a house where I had my own bedroom mhm, because you know, we realized this chick needs a lot of a loane time like that, somewhere to go, you know what I mean, and wouldn't have to go there very often because I knew it was there. It's like Carrie Bradshaw. She just needed her own apartment on little place that she can go visit whenever. She That means nothing, it's just it's it's something that it is funny Like four years ago, I walked up the street and bought another house. You cannot and what are we all going? That's what I want to do. Dot even tell him it wasn't closing. I said, oh baby, let me show you. And it was a little bitty house. And then I said, I'm gonna take it down to the studs and I'm I got my neighborhoods, a contractor, and I put bard my little laboom box and I'm in my house. WoT it running right? It was great in my place tonight, husband, are you gonna stay? Let's do it. I'll bring the champagne. We have a place like that too. It's called Jane's House. The body burning out. I mean, you know every Wednesday night. Don't have the kids, so you know, like, yeah, I get the bedrooms, and now women don't. Women don't as easily as man. I mean, maybe it's just because it's my generation and I'm hanging out with mothers. Uh, carve out that time just to kick it and enjoy themselves and each other. We we tend to be very you know, if I'm not doing something for somebody, I'm wondering what I'm missing. And you know, you really have to make an effort to prioritize your own joy sometimes, you know what I mean, that's somebody else because you you get there. What about the Amber Herd and Johnny Depp trial, Like, do you think they that's a that's a hard, hard, hard laugh. You know. I only saw bits and pieces because you can't avoid it because it's it's everything. Um. The the recordings that they had of her were just you know, they'll never believe you. Donnie Depp is getting hurt by a woman. Yeah, I didn't really watch so so I don't know. We're It's just when you put two loony people in in the same tomb, this is what you get. I feel like to some people can just not be right for each other. Like I think there's certain men that I've dated that have brought out the worst in me because of my past childhood traumas or and I think a lot of the things that I had heard and that was like, you know, I think she reminded him a lot of his abusive mom and like, so I think you you you end up and then that's just a recipe for disaster too, you know that kind of situation. So yeah, I agree. We all have you know, luggage with our initials in Boston, you know what I mean, We all do. So you know you gotta you kind of gotta come with a guy and carry your bags and you can carry is. Yeah, I can carry everybody else's bags sometimes secret bags. Like I was like, oh, he only has he just got to carry on. And then all of a sudden the curtain opened and I was like they all for days on. Oh, yes they do. It's just like we do. They just don't talk about it. What they they buddies like we do. They talk stro we talk? What did? He says? I think the thing that always bugs me is like in past relationships where they can just they basically crap all over your side of the street and then they're like, hey, have fun cleaning it up. Like they don't help you, they don't have empathy for what they did, or they just like kind of just like how you doing it over they're cleaning it up, like not even just like it's like, well, so relationships. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's hard for them, I will say, though, I've had a really hard time saying sorry too, though in certain situations where I've said it a lot more recently. Um, but when I was married, I did have a hard time saying sorry because I was always like I always kind of pointed the finger back, yeah, well you did this, And so that's something that I've noticed too. It's like, Okay, we could I have done better in certain situations, but my husband and I had to reverse situation. He could never say sorry, and I'm I'm quick to say, oh, that was my part, that was my part, and we got into this habit of like a hundred things went wrong, ninety nine of them were his, one of them was mine. I would say, oh, that part was mine, and the conversation was over and I was and I kind of like, after years of doing that, I was like, oh, he thinks I'm always wrong. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have cursed no, welcome to line down here. But I shouldn't have always said my back because because he came out of each of those situations where she's wrong, she's wrong, she's wrong, she's wrong. That led us back to a marriage counsel because we were on the brink because I couldn't understand why he was so mad all the time, and he couldn't understand why he was so dissatisfied. And we realized that it was, you know, I had taken ownership of every negative thing that had happened in the marriage inadvertently made us both man. That's interesting because he felt he got you know what I mean, he was just like her again, Look she did that again, and him and me, I was feeling like I never get it wrong, and I never get it right, you know what I mean? I do. Actually, that's a really it's a really good point. It's made make a misspending the same. I get like that and friendships a lot. I feel like I'm very quick to say sorry to just make it better, but then I'm unhappy in the end because I'm like, why did I own that? Like that wasn't or that part of it wasn't my fault or that part And so I struggled with And the weird thing about people is once you own it, they'll be very happy for you to keep it, and they honestly believe as time goes on, they they as they're attenuated from the because they kind of know in the circumstances what they did wrong. But once they say you own it, after time goes by, you just you just end up owning all of that and they forget that they even did have a part to play. So it's it's it's a dangerous business to be in. Yeah, that's a really good point. That is so true because I'm just thinking back. I'm like being like, I'm sorry, but I'm like, we haven't no, Like I'm reminding a lot of tapes in my head. Yeah, because also, like I like things to be tidy. So if I can own a piece of it, anything we can do to get us out moving forward, like let me own that, let me own that, it's it's easier. I have now defaulted to humor. And just so you know, and there's a friend I like, just so you know, I said I did this this, just so you know I saw what you did too. But I'm gonna leave it right there. I mean, I just don't let it. I don't let it go. Or maybe like a couple of months later, I said, yeah, I know that happened, but you'll remember that. Blah blah, blah blah blah, is what you did and just leave it there. Let it say, just leave it there and don't ask him. I used to always want to get to argue to capitulation. You know him, he's got to say, yeah, baby, you're right. And my mother said, you wasted your time with that. It's too hard for him. And as long as they do the right thing, which you need what you need him to capitulate for, I don't care how right you are. It doesn't matter as long as he does it right. From then on, that's his apology. Take it and keep it moving. I'm sorry, it doesn't look like i'm sorry some specifically like for me and a lot of my relationships with men like there, I'm sorry, isn't I'm sorry that it'll be a different apology language or just changing that's such a good like if they just change the action or the act that is apologizing too, that's so interesting. And my mother had to teach me to be satisfied with that because years I weren't. I wasn't and I was just unhappy he was getting what I want, but I was unhappy that I couldn't get that. And she says, she, you're asking for something you don't need anyway. Change. Yeah, I feel like the last apologies I've gotten were like I'm sorry that I did this. It's just I felt, you know, like I can do this or that, and I'm like, so then it just so then it was just totally I was like, oh, so then it's my faults, Like, so then what you did your action is then my faults. I'm like, I but I didn't know that you were having an issue with X, Y and Z like it. But then they just like twisted on you. And that's like the part that I'm just like, I'm just like, help me understand this. Like that's where I just get well, I am sorry. It is a complete sentence period. It's when there's all the taglines that things start getting turned back right. No, it can get funky and people do that. I remember I had a guy in the marriage boot camp and he was a subject shifter. So they would be talking about subject A in the moment she made a good point, he'd shift to a point one point one, she'd make a good point, he shipped to a two, and finally like about it a twelve she would she would be wrong, and he said that's all I was trying to tell you from the beginning. Wow. And I walked him through that neither one of them saw because she she was right there with them and she doesn't know where she went wrong. And I made I walked through it. Wow. Is there a couple that you were just like you really rooted for them to work like that. You were just like if you guys just both just get out of your own way kind of vibe. Yeah, on on this show either doesn't matter. Like you've seen that too, Like you just are like and it's like Tis Dale versus Johnson on Divorce Court. It's old school. But she was just angry all the time. You know. She would just get angry about everything all the time. Beautiful, intelligent, check, wonderful dude, and like if somebody a car almost hit him, she would talk about it all day long. I can't believe that guy, I can't believe it. She was in the habit of being angry, and her body expressed a lot of court us all and all of that at every small implication. And she was a really nice person. She just had that one hiccup and he was trying to write it and I said, we talked about it, and I said, the last part of this proceeding, we're gonna talk about coming back from crazy. I'm talking to you and I'm gonna tell you you can get back from crazy. And and I did. I said, first of all, there's nothing wrong being crazy. I said, people have called me crazy, and I don't mind it at all. So trying to get her on the page where we're gonna enjoy each other here and talked about it, and it it was like okay, And she cried because she realized how angry she was, how unnecessary it was, and that she could stop because she couldn't stop. And to know that she was eight, that you can stop that, and to give her away to do it. She was just overjoyed. Man, that's such a good feeling when you're like, because I him, I'm like ever really angry. I'll just start bawling crying, like two seconds later. I'm angry all the time. It makes me so mad. Well, And the thing is, it's like, I remember when I was about to go to this retreat place and I was just I was so angry. And then I'm being sharp tongued and but I'm on mute and I just start bawling crying, because it's like that's the real emotion, Like I'm hurt, I'm sad, but like my what I'm projecting is my you know, Detroit anger, you know what I mean? Yeah, just defense and like just like and then you know, I'm bawling, crying and mute and I come back on. I'm sharp tongued again and again like yeah, but it's it's wild. But where are you based? Phoenix, Arizona, Phoenix, Arizona. Okay, you're just you're amazing, your breath of fresh air. So thank you, Columbus, Ohio. That's why that northern Middlewest Michigan. Okay, there you go. We just do it now. We know why we like you exactly. And I was like, where have you been? I know? Well, thank you so much for coming on wine down. Um, we're gonna tell everyone to watch to watch your shows. And you're just you're the best. So thank you so much, Thank you so much. Ladies, you have a wonderful afternoon to be running around together. It's demoralized. It's not dirty to me. Oh my god, I love her. She's so love I loved I girl crushed a little. I mean, she's and she was amazing. I have another question on your lap. She's inappropriate. If I ever have another marriage, I would love to have my own bedroom. I knew. I knew that was the one thing. It was like, if Catherine got anything out of this down the street of me. I was like, Catherine is like, she wants the she wants the bedroom. I think that's okay. I just think it's it's not every night. She said that she didn't even have to use it that often because she knew I was there right, just like it was there right, it'd be good for me because then I would definitely probably anyway. I love her. That is so funny. So there was something what there was some movie or show she like, Oh The Proposal with Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. She's like telling this entire story and she's like going into like, you know this really like hard childhood and that she hasn't had sex in um a year or something, and then Ryan goes, you have had sex in one year. She was that's what she got out of it. That's what It doesn't remind me of got more out of it. I just know I know. I was just so funny to get my own room, all right, But I think that's something though that like when you do start dating, Oh my gosh, wish is just so crazy, like to think about it, like Katherine daty and I'm gonna be front row. I'm getting a table at every restaurant side of her, like I would die just bumping into you here. But it's just so crazy because it's been like on the Queendom Chat, it's been you know, me rolling and being like all right, guys, like welcome this dude to the Queendom chat, like let's see you know. Then we're all like now, like Catherine gets to do that, so fine, you won't talk queendo when you start dating, you will tell me who will tell Queendom? Queendom And we do not keep secrets from Queendom because we realized the last time what happens when you keep secrets from Queendom. We're the one that told Queendom about the divorce, which one I had permission, but she said what happened time someone kept something from Queendom? Her kept things from Queendom because I didn't Yes, they weren't want to hear yes, um, but is there so you don't think you tell people because it's the fun part that's like this, like this one person texted me and I'm like, I don't know what to say back. What do I say back? It's like it's like that, like it's fun to like involve, like I don't know, like it's it's not is it? Is it fun? Fun? You're the one that came back with the cute, flirty response. It's fun to be the person you're you're texting asking what I should say. It's fun to feed the lines. It's not fun to give them, even I'm not really good at lines, but I came up with I was like, because I'm just like I'm not. I was like, who's coming out of retirement? It was such an easy one though it was given to us. But it's fine. But yeah, because I'm just kind of like, like, you know, I'm like, how do you like like flirt nowadays? Because usually I'm just like do it trying to watch you flirt? Yeah, but now I'm excited to watch you flirt. I don't flirt. I'm going to be there. I can't wait. The creepy friend at the other table, like I can't wait to kind of like you know, dress cat up. Yeah, I like, okay, which one do you like? Cat in the Wild Instagram series? But just for fun, like obviously, like you know, if this isn't like it's just it's fun to just go out and have a good time. It's not for not marrying this dude. You know, it's like, I'm good, but it might be kind of fun to just be like it's flirt a lit that is I don't know which one worse literally disappeared off this catch like every conversation we have further away. That's so okay, Well, red flags, We're gonna be very careful of them. We will. I kind of want to get like someone on that you can like dive deeper with red flags, because I think I'd like to know some more things to look out for in the dating world. So we need to get like a dating one on one. Oh I reached there's someone on Instagram that yeah, so we're gonna try and get him on. I need to be here obviously. I don't want to see him. Yeah. I loved his little motto. Oh yeah, I know that was cool. I don't want to seem like seem gross, like oh yeah, like he just was like I loved what he had to say, yeah, so we need to get someone like dating one oh one, some kind of red flag things so that hopefully they if anyone hears this, and if anyone hears this, um, but I love you guys and season by

Whine Down with Jana Kramer

At the end of a long day, nothing is better than winding down and decompressing with a good friend,  
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