Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm heart Radio podcast.

Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm heart Radio podcast.

All right, So well, I don't even know how to start this one because this is a the girls aren't here. I didn't want to subject the girls to this again, but so what.

All right, So well, I don't even know how to start this one because this is a the girls aren't here. I didn't want to subject the girls to this again, but so what.

Do you because you guys do what once.

Do you because you guys do what once.

Week with the girls and I do the wind Down, right, and then we do adult Education, which is on Wednesdays. I can't remember. It's always kind of a moving target. But so there's two episodes a week through the wind Down umbrella. So one is then I've got adult education education, yes, and so it's not that the girls didn't want to come today to today's show, but I feel like, you know, we've already yeah, and I just you know, I figured what better way to just have my now husband and ex husband on wind Down? Make it really full circle, really fun.

Week with the girls and I do the wind Down, right, and then we do adult Education, which is on Wednesdays. I can't remember. It's always kind of a moving target. But so there's two episodes a week through the wind Down umbrella. So one is then I've got adult education education, yes, and so it's not that the girls didn't want to come today to today's show, but I feel like, you know, we've already yeah, and I just you know, I figured what better way to just have my now husband and ex husband on wind Down? Make it really full circle, really fun.

I've noticed what Mike's got a podcast voice. Yes, Softensy's voice up for a podcast.

I've noticed what Mike's got a podcast voice. Yes, Softensy's voice up for a podcast.

I have to otherwise it's my voice can be a lot. It's just learned.

I have to otherwise it's my voice can be a lot. It's just learned.

And we're still learning to just o coachman.

And we're still learning to just o coachman.

The mic is fine. My voice travels.

The mic is fine. My voice travels.

He's a coach.

He's a coach.

But anyways, it's been about a year since we've had Mike Cosson on the podcast, so we figured a little yearly anniversary. Welcome back to wind Down. Thanks for having me, of course, Alan, you were last minute add for this show. Would you like to discuss?

But anyways, it's been about a year since we've had Mike Cosson on the podcast, so we figured a little yearly anniversary. Welcome back to wind Down. Thanks for having me, of course, Alan, you were last minute add for this show. Would you like to discuss?

Would I like to discuss? Yes, it's almost like I don't want to and a fear and it just feels it feels weird the three of us sitting here does it not in an awkward way. But I'm almost like, Okay, if you guys would get copearings and stuff to raise and discuss, then go ahead, go.

Would I like to discuss? Yes, it's almost like I don't want to and a fear and it just feels it feels weird the three of us sitting here does it not in an awkward way. But I'm almost like, Okay, if you guys would get copearings and stuff to raise and discuss, then go ahead, go.

Ahead and do it. I don't need to. Yeah.

Ahead and do it. I don't need to. Yeah.

Almost feels a little bit not awkward, a weird because we've got a good relationship, right, but almost like ends up feeding.

Almost feels a little bit not awkward, a weird because we've got a good relationship, right, but almost like ends up feeding.

And interestive.

And interestive.

Well, I don't want you to feel awkward.

Well, I don't want you to feel awkward.

No, no, I just told you I don't feel.

No, no, I just told you I don't feel.

Oh no, I thought you said it's awkward.

Oh no, I thought you said it's awkward.

No, no, I said it's not awkward.

No, no, I said it's not awkward.

Oh okay, I.

Oh okay, I.

Get what he's saying. But that just is a testament to I think, you know, on his half of things, why we're able to have the relationship as a three S company that we do, because there's other people that wouldn't that would include themselves, maybe in situations that they don't need to be included. Yeah, right, where it's like the new partner, the new husband, the new wife is like helping make decisions that maybe isn't up to them but kind of like stay in his lane. But also I embrace you coming into being a part of it too. So oh, that's just one of the beginning kind of things with all of this of why we've been able to have a good relationship.

Get what he's saying. But that just is a testament to I think, you know, on his half of things, why we're able to have the relationship as a three S company that we do, because there's other people that wouldn't that would include themselves, maybe in situations that they don't need to be included. Yeah, right, where it's like the new partner, the new husband, the new wife is like helping make decisions that maybe isn't up to them but kind of like stay in his lane. But also I embrace you coming into being a part of it too. So oh, that's just one of the beginning kind of things with all of this of why we've been able to have a good relationship.

Yeah, and I think to bring it back to where you even when I did bring up the hey, I'm thinking about having Mike come back on the show. He kind of wanted to discuss work and we can we have topics that I think could help people because our mission was always to help other people through things that we've gone through, and so sometimes threading that and walking that line has been challenging and stuff. And I feel like, and this isn't anything against you, Mike, but and I don't want to speak for you, so please join in on this piece of it. But even when I did bring it up, you're you have more of like that old school mentality love like boundaries where you're like, why why do you want them on or have him come on?

Yeah, and I think to bring it back to where you even when I did bring up the hey, I'm thinking about having Mike come back on the show. He kind of wanted to discuss work and we can we have topics that I think could help people because our mission was always to help other people through things that we've gone through, and so sometimes threading that and walking that line has been challenging and stuff. And I feel like, and this isn't anything against you, Mike, but and I don't want to speak for you, so please join in on this piece of it. But even when I did bring it up, you're you have more of like that old school mentality love like boundaries where you're like, why why do you want them on or have him come on?

Why do you want. I'm I think it's clear.

Why do you want. I'm I think it's clear.

I'm a pretty private person, So I'm like, why do you want to discuss this stuff on a podcast? I don't get it. That's what my stance was. Nothing against Mike at all, but my stance is that's an in house, private thing that runs between the three of us and runs well. So one, there's not going to be any controversy behind it or on this podcast unless something there's raised that I don't know about, or two is.

I'm a pretty private person, So I'm like, why do you want to discuss this stuff on a podcast? I don't get it. That's what my stance was. Nothing against Mike at all, but my stance is that's an in house, private thing that runs between the three of us and runs well. So one, there's not going to be any controversy behind it or on this podcast unless something there's raised that I don't know about, or two is.

Yeah, that's my thing.

Yeah, that's my thing.

Like it's a private way in which we do think, So why why air it?

Like it's a private way in which we do think, So why why air it?

That was my first response, and I said I'd come back.

That was my first response, and I said I'd come back.

To you on it, didn't I yeah, because I didn't even know until last night that Mike was coming on.

To you on it, didn't I yeah, because I didn't even know until last night that Mike was coming on.

Thank you well again I eliminated. I'm like, Okay, this is where it's a hard line to walk, right, because I understand honoring and respecting your stance on it and also going I think it's then it's the stance that I take is I have this podcast to help other people to be able to have conversations, tough conversations at times. We've had many of those. And then to go, okay, I think there are conversations about how we have co parented because we know so many that are struggling in that area. So, Okay, we don't have the perfect relationship Mike and I, but it's you know, it's an ongoing and trying to communicate. Yeah, and so I think we know we're not meeting in a parking lot, though nothing against those people that do that. We were almost there at that point to exchange kids. But you know, I think there's ways to be able to have conversations. And that's why I didn't end up saying anything because I'm like, I don't I'm not going to be like, babe, you have to come on. So you were free to sit out if you wanted to. And if you were like, Babe, absolutely not, then obviously I wouldn't. I would have respected that.

Thank you well again I eliminated. I'm like, Okay, this is where it's a hard line to walk, right, because I understand honoring and respecting your stance on it and also going I think it's then it's the stance that I take is I have this podcast to help other people to be able to have conversations, tough conversations at times. We've had many of those. And then to go, okay, I think there are conversations about how we have co parented because we know so many that are struggling in that area. So, Okay, we don't have the perfect relationship Mike and I, but it's you know, it's an ongoing and trying to communicate. Yeah, and so I think we know we're not meeting in a parking lot, though nothing against those people that do that. We were almost there at that point to exchange kids. But you know, I think there's ways to be able to have conversations. And that's why I didn't end up saying anything because I'm like, I don't I'm not going to be like, babe, you have to come on. So you were free to sit out if you wanted to. And if you were like, Babe, absolutely not, then obviously I wouldn't. I would have respected that.

I think if Mike and I have again to see each other, they've been said privately, not on the podcast. Yeah, well, if that can help others navigate situations like this, then yeah, let's do.

I think if Mike and I have again to see each other, they've been said privately, not on the podcast. Yeah, well, if that can help others navigate situations like this, then yeah, let's do.

This is great from the expert of cooperiencing.

This is great from the expert of cooperiencing.

Listen. And that's the thing. It's not all perfect, right, and there's different I think there's different seasons of co parenting and relationships. It is hard to co parent with someone you don't like. You got divorced because of an issue, so it's then you're forced and co parent with someone you don't like respect have issues with, and that have two different sides of anger and resentment and bitterness and so but then yeah, go ahead communicate, Like it's such a hard thing for so many to do. So you're not alone in that alone, nor were having a hard time with co parenting. No, I know, yeah, but so but I will say again though, too, you are just more of a like for example, when you were coming in you know Mike's and this is just the relationship that we've cultivated anyways. I mean, there may be should have been boundary set, but like you're just like walking in the house, and I think at first, like for Alan, he's like what you know what I mean, Like it's like a.

Listen. And that's the thing. It's not all perfect, right, and there's different I think there's different seasons of co parenting and relationships. It is hard to co parent with someone you don't like. You got divorced because of an issue, so it's then you're forced and co parent with someone you don't like respect have issues with, and that have two different sides of anger and resentment and bitterness and so but then yeah, go ahead communicate, Like it's such a hard thing for so many to do. So you're not alone in that alone, nor were having a hard time with co parenting. No, I know, yeah, but so but I will say again though, too, you are just more of a like for example, when you were coming in you know Mike's and this is just the relationship that we've cultivated anyways. I mean, there may be should have been boundary set, but like you're just like walking in the house, and I think at first, like for Alan, he's like what you know what I mean, Like it's like a.

Which is which I still have my moments of like hesitation and all that with I mean, with all of this, whether it's the podcast, whether it's coming to the house, and even when I Jannel, when I texted you about maybe doing this, that's my if it was just you, I'm like, hey, let's freaking do this like, come on, like, let's talk about these things, let's talk about co parenting whatever. Yeah, any reservation I have is because of like my respect for Alan, right, because it's like, this is y'all's house, this is y'all's marriage. I'm here on the side. I'm like, hey, if you want to do this, like maybe we could.

Which is which I still have my moments of like hesitation and all that with I mean, with all of this, whether it's the podcast, whether it's coming to the house, and even when I Jannel, when I texted you about maybe doing this, that's my if it was just you, I'm like, hey, let's freaking do this like, come on, like, let's talk about these things, let's talk about co parenting whatever. Yeah, any reservation I have is because of like my respect for Alan, right, because it's like, this is y'all's house, this is y'all's marriage. I'm here on the side. I'm like, hey, if you want to do this, like maybe we could.

Well.

Well.

You also in the text message you said, hey, what do you think about this? And also to bring out like we can do it on Alan yours an Alan show, so you were very respectful of that too, of course, and he always this, Yeah, but it's just funny because it is like the two where I'm kind of sometimes I feel a little stuck in the middle where Intio like the boundaries of things like well, uh like let's just say early on when he would just like walk in the house.

You also in the text message you said, hey, what do you think about this? And also to bring out like we can do it on Alan yours an Alan show, so you were very respectful of that too, of course, and he always this, Yeah, but it's just funny because it is like the two where I'm kind of sometimes I feel a little stuck in the middle where Intio like the boundaries of things like well, uh like let's just say early on when he would just like walk in the house.

Yeah, but that's that's because I'm used to a different type of corpiiting, right, So right, not to be bad anyone, but I'm used to I'm used to the.

Yeah, but that's that's because I'm used to a different type of corpiiting, right, So right, not to be bad anyone, but I'm used to I'm used to the.

Drop the kads off and picked them up style of Corpi thing. That's that's my experience of it. So when I used to come swarming in the house up like Okay.

Drop the kads off and picked them up style of Corpi thing. That's that's my experience of it. So when I used to come swarming in the house up like Okay.

I'm sitting down and hey, that's what's going on.

I'm sitting down and hey, that's what's going on.

It hang out, and then I'm just like I just want everyone to get along and be happy, and like I don't want to be like, hey, I need you to knock on the I need you to ring the doorbell because you know it's so it puts then me in an uncomfortable situation because I just want everyone to get along. And then I don't want conflict between us, because then I don't want you to hate him for like maybe his more stronger, uh or not stronger.

It hang out, and then I'm just like I just want everyone to get along and be happy, and like I don't want to be like, hey, I need you to knock on the I need you to ring the doorbell because you know it's so it puts then me in an uncomfortable situation because I just want everyone to get along. And then I don't want conflict between us, because then I don't want you to hate him for like maybe his more stronger, uh or not stronger.

It's just a different perception of like the way you guys Corpien is nice. It's nice, but not everyone has got that. Not everybody's got the luxury. And you you to be fair to you both. You've you compromise, you discuss things, you communicate well, and you have your moments as everyone does. But then the day it's always like ninety five percent of the time it's healthy. Whereas I think cole parenting in general, make sure I use that word in general is five percent healthy and ninety five percent unhealthy.

It's just a different perception of like the way you guys Corpien is nice. It's nice, but not everyone has got that. Not everybody's got the luxury. And you you to be fair to you both. You've you compromise, you discuss things, you communicate well, and you have your moments as everyone does. But then the day it's always like ninety five percent of the time it's healthy. Whereas I think cole parenting in general, make sure I use that word in general is five percent healthy and ninety five percent unhealthy.

And I believe that.

And I believe that.

Why do you think that is Well.

Why do you think that is Well.

There's others a bias in my opinion because of my experience with co parenting, which is now in a place where it's a lot better. I just I don't hear many stories of nice co parenting situations.

There's others a bias in my opinion because of my experience with co parenting, which is now in a place where it's a lot better. I just I don't hear many stories of nice co parenting situations.

I really don't. You know, what was your biggest like fear or concern when you guys really start to get serious and you knew our lives we're gonna blend like Allen and I did you have like any just off the top of your head, Man, I'm really worried about this.

I really don't. You know, what was your biggest like fear or concern when you guys really start to get serious and you knew our lives we're gonna blend like Allen and I did you have like any just off the top of your head, Man, I'm really worried about this.

Well, I mean, I'm glad you're not showing up in the window knocking on the door or knocking on the windows.

Well, I mean, I'm glad you're not showing up in the window knocking on the door or knocking on the windows.

It's a dark day, John, make say the game.

It's a dark day, John, make say the game.

That was pre Allen, that was very very pre very early on. Yeah, very pre but that was a wild time.

That was pre Allen, that was very very pre very early on. Yeah, very pre but that was a wild time.

That that feels like so long ago.

That that feels like so long ago.

But I and that we all have like our crazy moments obviously, but it's something to be said for It's really hard when people start dating after divorce because when it involves kids, because you just kind of start to spiral and you you like don't have any control over anything, and so it's it's hard. But in this situation, you say that.

But I and that we all have like our crazy moments obviously, but it's something to be said for It's really hard when people start dating after divorce because when it involves kids, because you just kind of start to spiral and you you like don't have any control over anything, and so it's it's hard. But in this situation, you say that.

Question again, So what was just when you knew, like Alan was coming into your life and then things are getting serious and I was meeting Alan, he was around the kids. What was your concern with really of just like, Okay, this is the person I'm going to be with, this is my person. I eat Alan. Now we have to blend all of this together, well, Like, was there anything noticeable that you were worried about.

Question again, So what was just when you knew, like Alan was coming into your life and then things are getting serious and I was meeting Alan, he was around the kids. What was your concern with really of just like, Okay, this is the person I'm going to be with, this is my person. I eat Alan. Now we have to blend all of this together, well, Like, was there anything noticeable that you were worried about.

I think my own worry was trusting myself that I was making the right that I wasn't that I didn't want to mess up again. That's my first when I think of when I think back to that is I I almost didn't want you to be like, oh, you know, you messed up again and you introduced the kids to someone to somebody else, And that would probably be the first piece that I would think of, because I didn't I didn't want to mess up again, and I didn't want to put the kids through blending and then something happening. But I would say between, I mean this situation again, I I don't like I don't I And I think that's why I'm was blurry maybe with boundaries of certain things, because I just don't want any like negativity. I just wanted you everyone to get along, and honestly, what my biggest thing was is I know how you're you're just more of a Alan speaking to him, is you're you are more old school with a lot of things, and so because of the situations that you've dealt with, it was hard to go, Okay, well, now we're in such a great spot. I don't want to have to like and now I have to like try to manage everybody's and respecting because I didn't want you to not like him, and I didn't want him to not like you, And then I just wanted to be like, can we y'all just get along?

I think my own worry was trusting myself that I was making the right that I wasn't that I didn't want to mess up again. That's my first when I think of when I think back to that is I I almost didn't want you to be like, oh, you know, you messed up again and you introduced the kids to someone to somebody else, And that would probably be the first piece that I would think of, because I didn't I didn't want to mess up again, and I didn't want to put the kids through blending and then something happening. But I would say between, I mean this situation again, I I don't like I don't I And I think that's why I'm was blurry maybe with boundaries of certain things, because I just don't want any like negativity. I just wanted you everyone to get along, and honestly, what my biggest thing was is I know how you're you're just more of a Alan speaking to him, is you're you are more old school with a lot of things, and so because of the situations that you've dealt with, it was hard to go, Okay, well, now we're in such a great spot. I don't want to have to like and now I have to like try to manage everybody's and respecting because I didn't want you to not like him, and I didn't want him to not like you, And then I just wanted to be like, can we y'all just get along?

And so I think I think when you bring two reasonable people together always end up in reason. I think if you've got one person who is an unreasonable person, which a lot of people are, then you'll always have some sort of fight, a battle. But I think I'm at an age now. I think I've always been a reasonable person, but I'm an age now where okay, I can see the reason and things and as long as in Mike is a reasonable person in my opinion from what I've seen in the past the past two years. So I think there was a willingness from Mike that for it to work and there's a willingness for me to make it work, so therefore there was always going to be a good balance with it.

And so I think I think when you bring two reasonable people together always end up in reason. I think if you've got one person who is an unreasonable person, which a lot of people are, then you'll always have some sort of fight, a battle. But I think I'm at an age now. I think I've always been a reasonable person, but I'm an age now where okay, I can see the reason and things and as long as in Mike is a reasonable person in my opinion from what I've seen in the past the past two years. So I think there was a willingness from Mike that for it to work and there's a willingness for me to make it work, so therefore there was always going to be a good balance with it.

Yeah, and I think I think it was hard too, because I wanted I wanted you both to like each other. Where it was like and where he helped me with is like there can be a level respect or it doesn't have to be best friends, but there will be a level of respect, you know, And just like with you know, whatever relationship you end up with, like she doesn't need to be my best friend, but there will always be a level of respect for each other. And I think you guys have a really nice blend of respect. You might not understand certain things about each other or vice versa, but there at least there's a level of respect and knowing he's the father of you know, our kids and everything like that.

Yeah, and I think I think it was hard too, because I wanted I wanted you both to like each other. Where it was like and where he helped me with is like there can be a level respect or it doesn't have to be best friends, but there will be a level of respect, you know, And just like with you know, whatever relationship you end up with, like she doesn't need to be my best friend, but there will always be a level of respect for each other. And I think you guys have a really nice blend of respect. You might not understand certain things about each other or vice versa, but there at least there's a level of respect and knowing he's the father of you know, our kids and everything like that.

He's a good guy.

He's a good guy.

We'll keep him around.

We'll keep him around.

Were you worried about anything?

Were you worried about anything?

The biggest thing was what your point was like. And that's why I told anybody that would ask me or close to me, it's like, you know, how do you like Alan or the newer I'm just like, for the kid's sake, I hope it works above all. And then getting to see y'all's relationship, getting to see you know, how he makes you feel, feeling the energy in the house and all that kind of stuff. And then just the path that the three of our relationship has been able to go is it's depleted any worry that I ever had really Obviously the number one thing is the kids. So the fact that they have this stability with you, guys, is is great.

The biggest thing was what your point was like. And that's why I told anybody that would ask me or close to me, it's like, you know, how do you like Alan or the newer I'm just like, for the kid's sake, I hope it works above all. And then getting to see y'all's relationship, getting to see you know, how he makes you feel, feeling the energy in the house and all that kind of stuff. And then just the path that the three of our relationship has been able to go is it's depleted any worry that I ever had really Obviously the number one thing is the kids. So the fact that they have this stability with you, guys, is is great.

What do you think this is for both of you? Guys? Has been the hardest challenge for you personally co parenting? Who wants to go first?

What do you think this is for both of you? Guys? Has been the hardest challenge for you personally co parenting? Who wants to go first?

I think it's been a pretty seamless co patenting situation because I.

I think it's been a pretty seamless co patenting situation because I.

Mean in your personal if you want to talk about it too, like what.

Mean in your personal if you want to talk about it too, like what.

You talking about it was co parents and Jolie and Jayson. So I think it's been seamless one because the kids are really nice kids and have been raised properly. So it makes it I have said that to you from day one, if you running around with a couple of brats, how they've been like m hm, So again that that's such an easy, seamless scenario because the kids are so kind and nice and monoy. And then the respects side of Mike and Eye's relationship. When I met, I was like, Okay, it's good that I can work with us.

You talking about it was co parents and Jolie and Jayson. So I think it's been seamless one because the kids are really nice kids and have been raised properly. So it makes it I have said that to you from day one, if you running around with a couple of brats, how they've been like m hm, So again that that's such an easy, seamless scenario because the kids are so kind and nice and monoy. And then the respects side of Mike and Eye's relationship. When I met, I was like, Okay, it's good that I can work with us.

What was your question.

What was your question.

Again, what's been the hardest challenge co parenting?

Again, what's been the hardest challenge co parenting?

All this challenge, I'll say for me at least being like the biological side of things is I never envisioned not having my kids every single day, right, Like, I know my great dad. You guys know my great dad. Everyone that knows me knows I'm a great dad. That's one thing I can kind of stand behind for sure. And so knowing that there's obviously a lot of times where I'm not there and you're helping them do things that a father would do you, I'm thankful that it's you because I like you as a person, I respect you, you know, I love y'all's relationship. But there's no matter who you put in your in your shoes as the biological father, it still is like, man, this sucks like it is like there's there's no substitute for that. And so that's the hardest part. No matter how great all of our relationship is, I just know I'm not with him every day and that sucks. It is what it is.

All this challenge, I'll say for me at least being like the biological side of things is I never envisioned not having my kids every single day, right, Like, I know my great dad. You guys know my great dad. Everyone that knows me knows I'm a great dad. That's one thing I can kind of stand behind for sure. And so knowing that there's obviously a lot of times where I'm not there and you're helping them do things that a father would do you, I'm thankful that it's you because I like you as a person, I respect you, you know, I love y'all's relationship. But there's no matter who you put in your in your shoes as the biological father, it still is like, man, this sucks like it is like there's there's no substitute for that. And so that's the hardest part. No matter how great all of our relationship is, I just know I'm not with him every day and that sucks. It is what it is.

Yeah, there's a gap that someone else is filling. I think it's tough for any father or mother in that situation. But going back to it, I think the dynamic between the three of us is fine and everyone's intentions are pure absolutely, So going back to the biggest challenge, I don't I don't think those I don't think there's a time where I've sat and thought that's just so challenging that particular part. Apart from makestraw and in the house without knocking on the door, there's not been a point where I'm like, I'm struggling with us. Yeah, and if that is enough forgot about it, then you can remaind me.

Yeah, there's a gap that someone else is filling. I think it's tough for any father or mother in that situation. But going back to it, I think the dynamic between the three of us is fine and everyone's intentions are pure absolutely, So going back to the biggest challenge, I don't I don't think those I don't think there's a time where I've sat and thought that's just so challenging that particular part. Apart from makestraw and in the house without knocking on the door, there's not been a point where I'm like, I'm struggling with us. Yeah, and if that is enough forgot about it, then you can remaind me.

No, I think for me what is challenging is and I don't know if you've I know you don't listen to wind down Mike. But it's hard because though we're so removed, there's still things that come up emotionally and uh, you know, like something came up for me in therapy a couple weeks ago, and it's hard to co parent when those feelings come up, you know, because I want to just come, you know, get on the phone and just be like that I hate you, you know this this is coming up and why is this coming up. But it's so I think it's like sometimes separating when you're still some past things like might come up. And then obviously we have.

No, I think for me what is challenging is and I don't know if you've I know you don't listen to wind down Mike. But it's hard because though we're so removed, there's still things that come up emotionally and uh, you know, like something came up for me in therapy a couple weeks ago, and it's hard to co parent when those feelings come up, you know, because I want to just come, you know, get on the phone and just be like that I hate you, you know this this is coming up and why is this coming up. But it's so I think it's like sometimes separating when you're still some past things like might come up. And then obviously we have.

You know, yeah, we still have obstacles that as parenting as well as we do it together. We still have obstacles with things and that we work on, will continue to work on and all of that. But and it could always be worse.

You know, yeah, we still have obstacles that as parenting as well as we do it together. We still have obstacles with things and that we work on, will continue to work on and all of that. But and it could always be worse.

What do you find works best for co parenting?

What do you find works best for co parenting?

Kind of to touch on what Alan said, right, like being reasonable people and so it is it's you're removing the emotion out of it and giving credit where credits do. It's like, Okay, are my kids healthy? Yes? Are they safe? Yes? Are they in a good home? Yes, like no matter whether your house or my house? Are they fed? Are they like the essential things? It's like making it elementary in my mind helps alleviate, like from like ruminating on the emotional. Just my kids are fine, they're healthy, they're safe, all those things that are just listed. So focusing on the important stuff, which is them, I think is the important thing to do.

Kind of to touch on what Alan said, right, like being reasonable people and so it is it's you're removing the emotion out of it and giving credit where credits do. It's like, Okay, are my kids healthy? Yes? Are they safe? Yes? Are they in a good home? Yes, like no matter whether your house or my house? Are they fed? Are they like the essential things? It's like making it elementary in my mind helps alleviate, like from like ruminating on the emotional. Just my kids are fine, they're healthy, they're safe, all those things that are just listed. So focusing on the important stuff, which is them, I think is the important thing to do.

Do we want to talk about feeding? No now because someone says are the rules the same at both households?

Do we want to talk about feeding? No now because someone says are the rules the same at both households?

Oh?

Oh?

We know that to a degree. But I know that. And here's what I'll say. I for a lot of reasons, I want to find someone and be with somebody and have that stability and which you know, confident that I have, which is the story for another day. But you know, when they're with you, they have that more traditional kind of family setup of like being able to help each other words, cook dinner, and take care of the kids and do all the stuff. And when they're with me, there are those times where it's like single dad kind of on his own. I'm putting together to make sure they get fed, and sometimes it's you know, the organic chicken nuggets from the freezer or so I just do the best that I can.

We know that to a degree. But I know that. And here's what I'll say. I for a lot of reasons, I want to find someone and be with somebody and have that stability and which you know, confident that I have, which is the story for another day. But you know, when they're with you, they have that more traditional kind of family setup of like being able to help each other words, cook dinner, and take care of the kids and do all the stuff. And when they're with me, there are those times where it's like single dad kind of on his own. I'm putting together to make sure they get fed, and sometimes it's you know, the organic chicken nuggets from the freezer or so I just do the best that I can.

Right, it's just leading towards of Jimmy Jones satuation.

Right, it's just leading towards of Jimmy Jones satuation.

Jimmy John's Yeah, well you it's the kids won't eat his food when they come back from your house. And then usually he'll make a little comment under his broath, like Jimmy Johns, but listen, the kids are being fed. And I defended the Jimmy Johns'm like, hey, Jimmy Johns is great turkey, it's protein. Yeah, thank you.

Jimmy John's Yeah, well you it's the kids won't eat his food when they come back from your house. And then usually he'll make a little comment under his broath, like Jimmy Johns, but listen, the kids are being fed. And I defended the Jimmy Johns'm like, hey, Jimmy Johns is great turkey, it's protein. Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, I don't have a huge deal with.

Yeah, I don't have a huge deal with.

It at that point you were in quite a mid last.

It at that point you were in quite a mid last.

Couple of weeks is really good chance.

Couple of weeks is really good chance.

But I mean to your point, the kids are, you know, it's fine. I think we're we now that I've learned more about foods and what's in foods and I've been just you know, reading things, and Okay, this is really bad for the kids, getting the kids off of because it's hard when if they're eating the sugary cereals at your house and then we're like then they come here like oh we don't like this, Like what do you This is good, this doesn't have the dies and this that and the other. So I think when we had that conversation, I was like, I understand, but please like if we can try.

But I mean to your point, the kids are, you know, it's fine. I think we're we now that I've learned more about foods and what's in foods and I've been just you know, reading things, and Okay, this is really bad for the kids, getting the kids off of because it's hard when if they're eating the sugary cereals at your house and then we're like then they come here like oh we don't like this, Like what do you This is good, this doesn't have the dies and this that and the other. So I think when we had that conversation, I was like, I understand, but please like if we can try.

That's all. That's all it takes, right, And so it's just a conversation. We're able to have that, And so I'm more conscious of those little things where, you know.

That's all. That's all it takes, right, And so it's just a conversation. We're able to have that, And so I'm more conscious of those little things where, you know.

I think I think that's a cultural thing as well, because and it's like, okay, when the kids go to dad's house, everything's everything's generally more relaxed and to get more It's the same with Troy when he was younger, like you'd come to my house and like do you know what, Okay, we'll just eat out or we'll have this so well that so I think I think things are always more lenient with kids when they go to dad's because moms tend to Moms tend to beat a little bit more controlling with things, whereas when the kids go to their dad's's.

I think I think that's a cultural thing as well, because and it's like, okay, when the kids go to dad's house, everything's everything's generally more relaxed and to get more It's the same with Troy when he was younger, like you'd come to my house and like do you know what, Okay, we'll just eat out or we'll have this so well that so I think I think things are always more lenient with kids when they go to dad's because moms tend to Moms tend to beat a little bit more controlling with things, whereas when the kids go to their dad's's.

That's what it was always like with me.

That's what it was always like with me.

Yeah, I think totally, which is also why the other day I texted you, Mike about the volleyball stuff, because when Jolie was talking to her counselor, she had said, Mom, you're always rushing me. And I'm like, okay, let's talk about that. You get off the bus at this time, and then your volleyball's at this time, and then you had a soccer gam where you've got softball. Because everything, given our split the seventy thirty, I am the one always. I'm like, this isn't I don't want to be the parent that she just thinks is the one rushing her. It just but it falls mostly on my days, and so it becomes this like I almost get a little resentment where it's it becomes frustrating that you're the fun house where they can go do the video games, not be rushed. Dad doesn't do the like, and so that's what I make up and I'm like cool, So those eight to whatever ten days they get to just have so much fun. But yet I'm the parent that's rushing them and taking them here. And it's like, I don't want to just be labeled that parent.

Yeah, I think totally, which is also why the other day I texted you, Mike about the volleyball stuff, because when Jolie was talking to her counselor, she had said, Mom, you're always rushing me. And I'm like, okay, let's talk about that. You get off the bus at this time, and then your volleyball's at this time, and then you had a soccer gam where you've got softball. Because everything, given our split the seventy thirty, I am the one always. I'm like, this isn't I don't want to be the parent that she just thinks is the one rushing her. It just but it falls mostly on my days, and so it becomes this like I almost get a little resentment where it's it becomes frustrating that you're the fun house where they can go do the video games, not be rushed. Dad doesn't do the like, and so that's what I make up and I'm like cool, So those eight to whatever ten days they get to just have so much fun. But yet I'm the parent that's rushing them and taking them here. And it's like, I don't want to just be labeled that parent.

I get that, and of course I can see how it seem that way, and is that way to a degree for sure. The rushing actually jolly kind of stopped me in my tracks. One day, this is a couple of weeks ago, and I was getting emotional like talking to her because like I was rushing over something. We had vullet, we had some kind of practice. I was like, guys, let's go, let's go, let's go, and she's like, I just need him in. I just need a minute. I was like, we don't have a minute, let's go. And when I put them to bed that night, she took a moment and told me, she's like, Dad, like, I'm really upset because you're rushing me. I told you I needed a minute and I just need him in. And I'm like sitting there just like eyes watering, and I was like, oh my god. The fact that she was using her words and telling me this, and I was just like, you know what, You're right. Next time that you tell me, hey, I need a minute, I'll stop. I'll give you a minute and we'll talk about it and kind of figure it out. But so that feels like you're the only one that's just like on their ass, but you're definitely not.

I get that, and of course I can see how it seem that way, and is that way to a degree for sure. The rushing actually jolly kind of stopped me in my tracks. One day, this is a couple of weeks ago, and I was getting emotional like talking to her because like I was rushing over something. We had vullet, we had some kind of practice. I was like, guys, let's go, let's go, let's go, and she's like, I just need him in. I just need a minute. I was like, we don't have a minute, let's go. And when I put them to bed that night, she took a moment and told me, she's like, Dad, like, I'm really upset because you're rushing me. I told you I needed a minute and I just need him in. And I'm like sitting there just like eyes watering, and I was like, oh my god. The fact that she was using her words and telling me this, and I was just like, you know what, You're right. Next time that you tell me, hey, I need a minute, I'll stop. I'll give you a minute and we'll talk about it and kind of figure it out. But so that feels like you're the only one that's just like on their ass, but you're definitely not.

At all. Can I make a point with that?

At all. Can I make a point with that?

I think that goes back to another generalization where when it's co pairing thing, I don't think the mum will ever think the dad is doing it right. Yeah, I'm being serious, I'm being I think about every cope like my friends, whoever it is, and it's always okay you when you go to your dad's.

I think that goes back to another generalization where when it's co pairing thing, I don't think the mum will ever think the dad is doing it right. Yeah, I'm being serious, I'm being I think about every cope like my friends, whoever it is, and it's always okay you when you go to your dad's.

There's never any structure you got your dad's does.

There's never any structure you got your dad's does.

Yeah, And I honestly think there's nothing against you and Mike's resate relationship with you because you're really organized the person, and I love that about you. But I think that again as a generalization of dads will never never ever do it the right way and the mom's eyes.

Yeah, And I honestly think there's nothing against you and Mike's resate relationship with you because you're really organized the person, and I love that about you. But I think that again as a generalization of dads will never never ever do it the right way and the mom's eyes.

So then, as the wife and ex wife of a co parent situation, what would you want from your ex wife or your wife in that situation to.

So then, as the wife and ex wife of a co parent situation, what would you want from your ex wife or your wife in that situation to.

Realize that guys do it definitely, but exactly we do it differently. But it goes back to what I was saying. The essentials, the elementary things are still taken care of right like, and you for the most part, our principles as parents align right like they do like values and I know I do. Yes, we play like Mario Kard at my house, and you know, we do some certain things that you don't do here, and I get that. But again from a like building a human being and giving them the right skills as a person, we align right like manners and respect and being honest and those kind of things. So it's like, hey, the rest of the stuff, yes, okay, but that's not going to completely shape their character different than you want because they're at my house.

Realize that guys do it definitely, but exactly we do it differently. But it goes back to what I was saying. The essentials, the elementary things are still taken care of right like, and you for the most part, our principles as parents align right like they do like values and I know I do. Yes, we play like Mario Kard at my house, and you know, we do some certain things that you don't do here, and I get that. But again from a like building a human being and giving them the right skills as a person, we align right like manners and respect and being honest and those kind of things. So it's like, hey, the rest of the stuff, yes, okay, but that's not going to completely shape their character different than you want because they're at my house.

Right yeah, Like no more other situation, No mom wants to regardless of how healthy the coporent. The situation is, no mom wants to handle the kids over to the the dad.

Right yeah, Like no more other situation, No mom wants to regardless of how healthy the coporent. The situation is, no mom wants to handle the kids over to the the dad.

Yeah no.

Yeah no.

So therefore, and going back to my point, mums will always have some sort of great or opinion on how the dads do. And that's just that's just nature, that's just how it works.

So therefore, and going back to my point, mums will always have some sort of great or opinion on how the dads do. And that's just that's just nature, that's just how it works.

How did this is kind off topic, but Alan coming into being with Jana and obviously with our relationship being what it was and a lot of you know, public things and negative public things, especially about me and things that I was guilty of and all of that coming into it, Like, how were you able to kind of not predetermining your head? All right, this guy's probably all. I'm sure there's part of you that you know.

How did this is kind off topic, but Alan coming into being with Jana and obviously with our relationship being what it was and a lot of you know, public things and negative public things, especially about me and things that I was guilty of and all of that coming into it, Like, how were you able to kind of not predetermining your head? All right, this guy's probably all. I'm sure there's part of you that you know.

Yeah, I mean, listen again, it's a really good question. I thought it might come up. Your past is your past?

Yeah, I mean, listen again, it's a really good question. I thought it might come up. Your past is your past?

I don't.

I don't.

I don't respect the things you did, for sure, Jannah. Okay, so clear on that. Not anything I would ever do. So those there's that side of it. But I also need to recognize for me to pin that on you and continually think that about you would be unhealthy for the way the future is. So Okay, you've done these things, don't respect them. But I think and it would be different if I didn't think this. I think you're genuinely a good person and a nice guy, and if I didn't think that, then the relationship would probably be different. So that makes it easier not to forget what happened in the past and not to add any respect to whatsoever. But it makes it a lot easier knowing that deep down I think you are a good person.

I don't respect the things you did, for sure, Jannah. Okay, so clear on that. Not anything I would ever do. So those there's that side of it. But I also need to recognize for me to pin that on you and continually think that about you would be unhealthy for the way the future is. So Okay, you've done these things, don't respect them. But I think and it would be different if I didn't think this. I think you're genuinely a good person and a nice guy, and if I didn't think that, then the relationship would probably be different. So that makes it easier not to forget what happened in the past and not to add any respect to whatsoever. But it makes it a lot easier knowing that deep down I think you are a good person.

That's fair.

That's fair.

Yeah, I mean we've had that conversation before. You're like, I don't understan, you don't understand it, Like you're like, you know, He'll be like, I don't understand how someone could do that. But I'm also like, but babe, you got me now, you know.

Yeah, I mean we've had that conversation before. You're like, I don't understan, you don't understand it, Like you're like, you know, He'll be like, I don't understand how someone could do that. But I'm also like, but babe, you got me now, you know.

So I'm like, we I think I think I've just been clear and that I don't. I don't understand it, don't respect it, don't understand it, I don't get it.

So I'm like, we I think I think I've just been clear and that I don't. I don't understand it, don't respect it, don't understand it, I don't get it.

But I don't hold it against them one bit, right, not at all.

But I don't hold it against them one bit, right, not at all.

And I can feel that like I would be able to tell, like if you did right and that first meeting you, because you were who you are are. You're very stoic and so just like I like to think I have, there's different energy in the room and you have that, and so that was something I could tell right away. I was like, okay, and I think there is something with like both being athletes to a degree, like cut from the same cloth in a sense kind of. But I could and I feel that, which I appreciate because I would absolutely be able to tell if all of that like carried on you like you've held Yeah, yeah, for sure.

And I can feel that like I would be able to tell, like if you did right and that first meeting you, because you were who you are are. You're very stoic and so just like I like to think I have, there's different energy in the room and you have that, and so that was something I could tell right away. I was like, okay, and I think there is something with like both being athletes to a degree, like cut from the same cloth in a sense kind of. But I could and I feel that, which I appreciate because I would absolutely be able to tell if all of that like carried on you like you've held Yeah, yeah, for sure.

It's a good question though.

It's a good question though.

That was a good question, really good question.

That was a good question, really good question.

I mean, what is your girlfriend going to think of me? I was an angel, so yeah, But I mean I have that same fear that.

I mean, what is your girlfriend going to think of me? I was an angel, so yeah, But I mean I have that same fear that.

Like, I'm gonna want everyone to get along, you know, and I'm which is going to be out of my control to a degree, but.

Like, I'm gonna want everyone to get along, you know, and I'm which is going to be out of my control to a degree, but.

Like and like I said, I don't. As long as she is good with the kids and there is not overstepping of certain things again, it will all be great.

Like and like I said, I don't. As long as she is good with the kids and there is not overstepping of certain things again, it will all be great.

You know.

You know.

That's where it's.

That's where it's.

He's a reasonable person. Yeah, I mean you're not reasonable. I will be your voice of reason.

He's a reasonable person. Yeah, I mean you're not reasonable. I will be your voice of reason.

Well, I feel like we do a good job of kind of holding each other from jumping off a cliff. Yeah, we're we're luckily not jumping off at the same time. Yeah, it's interesting questions. Let's go, let's take a break, and then we'll come back. Okay, So this is kind of a how do I say, It's something I've always wanted to do, But I think when I've brought it up to you, bebe and not to call you out, but I'm good. This is the podcast world. You know, yeah, all to say this, let me frame it this way. Is there something you would want to achieve or some kind of not goal, but what you go, man, this would be really cool if we could get to this point in co parenting. I have my answer for that, but I'm curious what y'all says. That's a really sounds like, no, we're good.

Well, I feel like we do a good job of kind of holding each other from jumping off a cliff. Yeah, we're we're luckily not jumping off at the same time. Yeah, it's interesting questions. Let's go, let's take a break, and then we'll come back. Okay, So this is kind of a how do I say, It's something I've always wanted to do, But I think when I've brought it up to you, bebe and not to call you out, but I'm good. This is the podcast world. You know, yeah, all to say this, let me frame it this way. Is there something you would want to achieve or some kind of not goal, but what you go, man, this would be really cool if we could get to this point in co parenting. I have my answer for that, but I'm curious what y'all says. That's a really sounds like, no, we're good.

That's a really really good question. And I've thought about that, and I've been asked that, and maybe it's a pipe dream. I don't know, because there does need to be boundaries and I would never want anyone involved to feel uncomfortable for any kind of reason. But I think the ultimate pipe dream is like, you know, some years on the road, where were this unrealistic but pitch but picturesque family where it's like we go on a trip together in some way like I don't like, I know, it's crazy, it's probably not gonna happen, but in that's that would be the ultimate where it's like the kids vacation and they're able to have both sets of parents, everyone gets along. I don't know, you know you've heard of that happening. I don't know if that would ever happen, but well.

That's a really really good question. And I've thought about that, and I've been asked that, and maybe it's a pipe dream. I don't know, because there does need to be boundaries and I would never want anyone involved to feel uncomfortable for any kind of reason. But I think the ultimate pipe dream is like, you know, some years on the road, where were this unrealistic but pitch but picturesque family where it's like we go on a trip together in some way like I don't like, I know, it's crazy, it's probably not gonna happen, but in that's that would be the ultimate where it's like the kids vacation and they're able to have both sets of parents, everyone gets along. I don't know, you know you've heard of that happening. I don't know if that would ever happen, but well.

Alan's laughing because I have brought that up to him. He's like, get the fuck interesting.

Alan's laughing because I have brought that up to him. He's like, get the fuck interesting.

Getting Honestly, I think stuff like that just goes back to bite you in the offs at some point.

Getting Honestly, I think stuff like that just goes back to bite you in the offs at some point.

There's your cynicism in which way.

There's your cynicism in which way.

I think if you're in a situation with your own vacations together and it just opens up that that's that's so different from managing a co parenting environment being on vacation, because that's your that's your time to have your own space.

I think if you're in a situation with your own vacations together and it just opens up that that's that's so different from managing a co parenting environment being on vacation, because that's your that's your time to have your own space.

You're trying to relax, you're trying to I just, yeah, I think being in that same.

You're trying to relax, you're trying to I just, yeah, I think being in that same.

Environment for a period and I probless my cynicism, but I just don't Yeah, I don't see that being healthy.

Environment for a period and I probless my cynicism, but I just don't Yeah, I don't see that being healthy.

I still feel like that's like a little bit more of like the older school mentality too. With that, like you like, if you think about your dad and the Scottish like tough upbringing, maybe.

I still feel like that's like a little bit more of like the older school mentality too. With that, like you like, if you think about your dad and the Scottish like tough upbringing, maybe.

Yeah, part of it, I just I just I think part of the means you leave yourself open to something happening within that dynamic, which affects the next part of the co parenting situation. I'm not saying it does. I'm not saying it does, but being confined in that environment could be something could happen which affects the next two, three, four or five six years of the co parents inside of it, or what to go on a holiday together.

Yeah, part of it, I just I just I think part of the means you leave yourself open to something happening within that dynamic, which affects the next part of the co parenting situation. I'm not saying it does. I'm not saying it does, but being confined in that environment could be something could happen which affects the next two, three, four or five six years of the co parents inside of it, or what to go on a holiday together.

I might get that to a degree where it's if it ain't broke, don't fix the type of deal where if like you you do, you put people in this fish bone, then it's some thing that we don't expect to happen and it just causes a rift. And then so I get that.

I might get that to a degree where it's if it ain't broke, don't fix the type of deal where if like you you do, you put people in this fish bone, then it's some thing that we don't expect to happen and it just causes a rift. And then so I get that.

It's great.

It's great.

I'm just used to and again old school boundaries. I'm used to things being separate down the line. Okay, that's that, yeah, which I get.

I'm just used to and again old school boundaries. I'm used to things being separate down the line. Okay, that's that, yeah, which I get.

I'm not saying it's right.

I'm not saying it's right.

I'm not saying it's right, and I might be stuck in that year, but I'm just used to that's that, and that's that. And if that comes together, does it can create a gray area or some sort of animosity And for what was the point mm hmm to resk that again, I'm not seeing it does happen, which you're a good guy and the person that you bring in to co parent the kids and be around, hopefully we're a good person as well. Of the blended family vacation.

I'm not saying it's right, and I might be stuck in that year, but I'm just used to that's that, and that's that. And if that comes together, does it can create a gray area or some sort of animosity And for what was the point mm hmm to resk that again, I'm not seeing it does happen, which you're a good guy and the person that you bring in to co parent the kids and be around, hopefully we're a good person as well. Of the blended family vacation.

I mean that would really have to be we would all have to really get along, like I have to, would have to get along with your missus and stuff like that. So I mean there's so many layers, Like I could do all of us right now and go somewhere, you know, like if we're invited to your beach vacation that had been so.

I mean that would really have to be we would all have to really get along, like I have to, would have to get along with your missus and stuff like that. So I mean there's so many layers, Like I could do all of us right now and go somewhere, you know, like if we're invited to your beach vacation that had been so.

Fun that Adam Sandler moved me that blended one.

Fun that Adam Sandler moved me that blended one.

I don't remember it.

I don't remember it.

I have Andrew Barrymore.

I have Andrew Barrymore.

And you know, actually I didn't see that. But anyways, so I think, you know, there's it would just would have to see. But I have brought that up to him before because that is also because it's I don't like missing vacations like that must have been hard for you to see the beach vacation with him building sand castles with the kids and of course and it would be hard for me to see that.

And you know, actually I didn't see that. But anyways, so I think, you know, there's it would just would have to see. But I have brought that up to him before because that is also because it's I don't like missing vacations like that must have been hard for you to see the beach vacation with him building sand castles with the kids and of course and it would be hard for me to see that.

Now it's hard, but I'm happy at the same time. But it's weird.

Now it's hard, but I'm happy at the same time. But it's weird.

Well no, but like it's it's hard when you guys do your family vacation on the beach, but I also like it's so good for them too, So I think it's there's a piece of it where it's it's healthy for the kids to have just their time with you. But I think there is a world and I'd love that that was my thing that I was going to say. I would love for there to be It doesn't have to be a yearly you know, vacation that we schedule a lot, but I hope one day we could all go somewhere together, you know. And so we're not sharing the same bed, you know, it's just we're all at the same happened to all be at the same beach, and you know, but that that's that's again the pipe dream. And I think at the end of the day, we're we're our trajectory at least is good with where we're at right now, you know. And because we have gotten to the we know a lot of people that or will only talk through email and or drop off at Whole Foods and you know whatever. And I think it's a testament obviously to all three of us. But also it's not the easiest too at times, especially when things come up or it's like the holidays and knowing that we won't have the kids this year before for Christmas Eve night, and you know, it's just it's it's not so that brings up well why not? And so that brings up old things too. But that's just what it is. And you can either dwell in the past and the resentment or you can go, Okay, this is a this is just what it is, and feel the emotion and then and then move on healthily. Is there one thing, Mike, that you still have to that is your biggest challenge with or resentment towards me.

Well no, but like it's it's hard when you guys do your family vacation on the beach, but I also like it's so good for them too, So I think it's there's a piece of it where it's it's healthy for the kids to have just their time with you. But I think there is a world and I'd love that that was my thing that I was going to say. I would love for there to be It doesn't have to be a yearly you know, vacation that we schedule a lot, but I hope one day we could all go somewhere together, you know. And so we're not sharing the same bed, you know, it's just we're all at the same happened to all be at the same beach, and you know, but that that's that's again the pipe dream. And I think at the end of the day, we're we're our trajectory at least is good with where we're at right now, you know. And because we have gotten to the we know a lot of people that or will only talk through email and or drop off at Whole Foods and you know whatever. And I think it's a testament obviously to all three of us. But also it's not the easiest too at times, especially when things come up or it's like the holidays and knowing that we won't have the kids this year before for Christmas Eve night, and you know, it's just it's it's not so that brings up well why not? And so that brings up old things too. But that's just what it is. And you can either dwell in the past and the resentment or you can go, Okay, this is a this is just what it is, and feel the emotion and then and then move on healthily. Is there one thing, Mike, that you still have to that is your biggest challenge with or resentment towards me.

Towards you? This is a producer question or a listener question, but you question even better. I can honestly say I don't have like a like active resentment towards you, like personally, I really can't think there's things, Yes, there's things that I do that bother you, there's things that you do that bother me in align with co parenting maybe, but I really I really can't say there's something that's because it just is what it is and it's the whole. Like I'm not going to give it any kind of space or energy or my time anymore. Right, this is like what does that do that doesn't do anything good for me or for this relationship between you and I, between the three of us, between all of us with the kids, like and I'm genuinely happy for you, So it's hard to be genuinely happy for you and have resentment towards you. Normal Christmas bothers me.

Towards you? This is a producer question or a listener question, but you question even better. I can honestly say I don't have like a like active resentment towards you, like personally, I really can't think there's things, Yes, there's things that I do that bother you, there's things that you do that bother me in align with co parenting maybe, but I really I really can't say there's something that's because it just is what it is and it's the whole. Like I'm not going to give it any kind of space or energy or my time anymore. Right, this is like what does that do that doesn't do anything good for me or for this relationship between you and I, between the three of us, between all of us with the kids, like and I'm genuinely happy for you, So it's hard to be genuinely happy for you and have resentment towards you. Normal Christmas bothers me.

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it, and you know what, your response bothered me even more when that happened. Let's get into it. Oh, this is a juicy one guy Christmas double Christmas. No, he's just pissed.

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it, and you know what, your response bothered me even more when that happened. Let's get into it. Oh, this is a juicy one guy Christmas double Christmas. No, he's just pissed.

A double Christmas day Yule Santa Santa, for some reason now comes twice when you don't have them on Christmas morning, and you sent.

A double Christmas day Yule Santa Santa, for some reason now comes twice when you don't have them on Christmas morning, and you sent.

Me the nastiest text message about that. Do you remember that?

Me the nastiest text message about that. Do you remember that?

I don't remember.

I don't remember.

You can't change christ he remembers because I was like, I guess I can't change Christmas.

You can't change christ he remembers because I was like, I guess I can't change Christmas.

No.

No.

That was the one thing that had gotten me the worst because it felt because it sucks right like again, I don't want to be without them any day ever, And so it felt like.

That was the one thing that had gotten me the worst because it felt because it sucks right like again, I don't want to be without them any day ever, And so it felt like.

Were we just pissed that you didn't think of it?

Were we just pissed that you didn't think of it?

No, I would have do. It felt like you were taking Christmas from me.

No, I would have do. It felt like you were taking Christmas from me.

Oh you had Christmas.

Oh you had Christmas.

Because now it's like it just felt because I didn't do that like when you had them. I was like, hey, Christmas and then you come to Dad's that afternoon and then we celebrate our way. And so when next year it's like, wait, Santa comes twice? What the what just happened? So it literally felt like you took my Christmas.

Because now it's like it just felt because I didn't do that like when you had them. I was like, hey, Christmas and then you come to Dad's that afternoon and then we celebrate our way. And so when next year it's like, wait, Santa comes twice? What the what just happened? So it literally felt like you took my Christmas.

You had Christmas first? Is that right?

You had Christmas first? Is that right?

Did? You had Christmas first? So this was this was when I flew out to England to see you on and I flew home Christmas Eve night on twenty twenty one, twenty two, twenty two.

Did? You had Christmas first? So this was this was when I flew out to England to see you on and I flew home Christmas Eve night on twenty twenty one, twenty two, twenty two.

That's what I'm saying. You had Christmas first?

That's what I'm saying. You had Christmas first?

Yeah, I had Christmas first, yeah, yeah, and then the second Christmas you had Christmas and then I had christ yeah. And so then then when I flew home from so basically when I flew home from England, it was Christmas Eve, and I was really having a hard time not having the Christmas morning having the kids run down the stairs. Yeah, and so Sanna was going to come then, so Christmas Day was going to be Christmas Eve is what I did last year or sorry two years ago, and you did not like that.

Yeah, I had Christmas first, yeah, yeah, and then the second Christmas you had Christmas and then I had christ yeah. And so then then when I flew home from so basically when I flew home from England, it was Christmas Eve, and I was really having a hard time not having the Christmas morning having the kids run down the stairs. Yeah, and so Sanna was going to come then, so Christmas Day was going to be Christmas Eve is what I did last year or sorry two years ago, and you did not like that.

It was just two Christmas. Mike has this Christmas Day and you have your Christmas?

It was just two Christmas. Mike has this Christmas Day and you have your Christmas?

Are you on my side?

Are you on my side?

Listen?

Listen?

I am, because if it's different if if different, if whoever has them on Christmas Day is the one who's got the biggest power, right because you control Christmas Day. So I'll be honest, if if if my ex was like, okay, you've got you've got Troy and Christmas Day, I want to I want to reenact Christmas Day on the twenty six of that going crack on, do what you want.