Jana and Kathryn are total opposites when it comes to sex but Kathryn must face her fears and get intimate.
Jaiya Ma, a somaic sexologist, helps Kathryn get to the bottom of why she’s uncomfortable talking about sex, and she has some tips for Jana to spice things up in the bedroom with her next guy (whoever that may be!)
And, Jana reveals a revelation she experienced while in Ireland.
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I heart radio podcast. So I'm very excited about this episode because Catherine is joining us again obviously, and she hates to talk about sex. And I just so happened to look at the rundown oh, like you know, I would say a couple of days ago, and I was like, oh my god, we have got this sex Okay, So this girl, I think it's Jaya. She's an award winning somatic sexologist, coming on. You know. Our therapist is like loving this though, Oh for sure, Well but but why tell tell the tell the people? Why actually? Because I want to know too, Like do you want to share my homework? Yeah? Sure, so, lovely therapist of ours. You know the best part is that she doesn't give you the homework in person. What do you mean? Like, she emails you later. It's like, here's your homework, which is very smart because it's like I probably would have fodder on it a person, but so she emails me. She's like homework. Um, And basically she asked me to watch this that what's that called sex life? No, like love sex goop whatever? That? Um? So not sex life? No, not sex life? Oh I thought she made you watch sex Life. No. I mean it's very informational, but is it like a Netflix show? It is a Netflix show. Okay, tell me more and I'm going to tell you exactly the name of it. But anyway, and I'm like, are you freaking kidding me? Like, of course, why does she want you to watch the show? Probably because I don't like talking about sex? But is there something else in there where she's like, do you like? Do is there like was she trying to compare, like trying to get comparisons or what was actually the homework? Just watch it or watch it and then like we kind of just talked about I don't know, this is a lot a lot for me. Basically, it was very informational and like one of the um therapist per sex. There were a couple on the show with different couples, which was very fascinating. I mean I was like, one of the things I took away is like I can't believe these people can do this in front of a camera and in front of somebody they do well. Like one of them like is like what type are you? And it's like you know you've got like, um, I don't know what all the types were, but it's like you like like kinky or like you like sensory or there's like five types or whatever, and they put a person on a table and like yeah, so you know, and then yeah, and then they're like they're like blind, like they have them do it. Like so if it was like kinky, like one lady was like kinky and her husband was not. He was more just penetration. One of them is just like this sounds like cancer therapy, but go ahead, or like a version of it. I don't know. It makes me. The name of the show is sex, Love and Goop. Gwyneth Paltrow isn't as like as part of it, okay. So like so for example, like if you and Nick were to do it, you'd be like what he likes, Let's say it's sensual touch or whatever, and then that and then the partner has to then do that to the other partners. So like you figure out what your type is. And so like this woman was kinky surprisingly like she had no clue and he was like wait what and like he's just not like score, but it's not his thing. So it's like so she's on the table and he like has all these different like things and like doing some I'm done, so wait, which one are you? I don't know. I'm not going to myself. I can. I want to see you being kinky. No, I don't know. She asked me that question and I was like, I don't know, I don't know. I watched like four episodes, which the other ones kinky was like, I'll watch more episodes and no, okay. But then there was other things like then there's another therapist that just like had them connect on. And then there was like a lesbian couple that you know, one was very like they had like you unclothed and look at yourself in the mirror. So there was a lot of good stuff and there that's like you know, and I was like I just really took away like I would love to be that brave. I mean, they're very brave. Like then there's an old couple you know that's like and they're doing it in front of cameras and in front of people, and some of them got uncomfortable with some of them didn't. It was it was interesting. I'll say that remember um, Mike and I did tantra therapy in l A, you know, because he had like that sexual intimacy issue um, and you know, it was so uncomfortable and like you're like dry humping in front of somebody, and like even me, like I was uncomfortable. I was just like this is like how, like why like can't we just like have good sexual chem street Like I don't understand, like how it's now like we have to have a therapist to help us. Like, yeah, I did feel like a lot. I kind of felt that way too. But I could also see in some instances, like that one couple that keeps sticking out my mind, her discovering that she was kinky and him not. And I mean he was uncomfortable, Like you could tell he was uncomfortable even doing a few little things. I mean they weren't having sex on the table obviously, but anyway, so this makes Katherine so uncomfortable, and I'm so sorry. But I was. I have a movie coming out on Lifetime. It's called The Holiday Fix Up, and I was doing some press and I was like, oh crap, Like I remember Riley asked me to take a quiz um because you know, for this sex tantric person or whatever, and so I was like, Katherine, can you take this quiz really fast? I was like quick quiz and I pulled it up and then she gets on the zoom to do her press and I'm over here like I'm gonna kill you. I'm going to kill you. What was the quiz? Oh? What was the questions? Like what like do you like for play? Do you like romantic? Do you like massages? Like? What kind of music do you like playing? Like all the things? Sanna vibe, I want to vibe. Well you should have taken the quiz. I don't have the results. If I have a podential suitor listening, I like a vibe, like give me a vibe, put on like some like freaking JP sacs like more of you. I just want you like I want to like like give me a vibe, like I want to be like sexual and sensual. Okay okay, but then like I also could like just be thrown up against a wall to like a lot of the questions. Here's the funniest part. A lot of the questions. At the end, it was like all of the above, and I wanted to be like, where is none of the So I just picked one really like none of the above on certain things like sense, oh god, don't else to be on wind down and then not talk about winding down. I have said, I'm not going to get into that. I don't remember a good example. Okay, I'm trying to remember she's hating me right now. We might we might break up after this. So yeah, so let's just completely change the subject. Um, how was Ireland? Oh my god? It was? Well, first of all, did you have any fema? Yeah? Ye, sorry, definitely, It's okay. I think I don't remember if you talked about it. But Katherine was supposed to go with her passport got expired, so um, but no, I had. It was so much fun. And I remember my therapist she's she had just gotten through like the day that I went to her. I think you were like sick actually too, you were just to go the same day. But she just looks really pretty. I was like, Amy, you're just like the prettiest I love you. And I'm like, you know, She's like, oh, it's just it's been a really beautiful morning. And I was just like, what, like, you know why. She's like, well, she's like I just sat with about ten parents who you know, I have lost children, and I'm just like, oh my god, Amy. I was like, how, like, how do you do that, like, and I so I start asking her questions because it's like, I can't imagine losing my child. And she goes, you know what she's like, there's just something so beautiful about all these women sitting sitting down and around each other and just supporting each other. And she goes and she's like, it's it's beautiful to witness, it's beautiful to be someone that can help them. And and she goes, you know what she's like, someone said, one of them, the women who recently just lost one of their kids, said I'm I'm on a journey of chasing joy. And she goes, and I she goes. When she said that, she's like, I thought of you. She's like, that's what I want you to do. I want you to chase joy. And and I just I brought that into my Ireland trip because I feel like I'm kind of spreading my wings a little bit, getting out of the comfort zone with a lot of things and um, and this was, you know, a version of that chasing joy where I was like, I just want to go because a lot of times I live my life where I'm well, I'm afraid to do this because I'm afraid I'm any anxiety or I'm afraid that like what what if this happens? Or what if this? And and I really I just wanted to get all of those things out of my head where I don't go that that that's the first thing that I go to is fear. Um. And so you know, with Ireland, I was just like I just want to go and just be so from the second I step on that plane, I want to be thankful. I want to be grateful, and I want to just exude this like energy that I sometimes envying other people, Like I want to feel that and I want other people to feel that. So you know, we get on a plane and it's just came besties with the flight attendants and laughing and like just from this, like literally the second we got on that air in this flight, it was just this kind of thing like Okay, I'm I'm chasing joy and I'm going to have every moment that if I do have any fear. But I didn't even have not one ounce. Like I remember going to Scotland, um, and I enjoyed Scotland, but you know it was with my ex or whatever, and I had so much anxiety and like just like this heaviness and it's like but now like I walk around like so much lighter and like and I just had so much fun and every moment that I was presented. Now, granted there was like a little work situation where I got frustrated and I was really tired. I think those things, I'm like, okay, fine, But like on the day that we had, you know, that the off day and we got to go to Galway and Cliffs of Mohair or however say it. I mean, it was just like I had this moment where I started crying on the cliffs because I was just like, I'm so blessed to be here first and foremost. Second of all, there's just just there's just a different energy that I felt when I was there, and how how I felt when I was there, and like who I was being there was always the person and I wanted to be and so it was just like this, like I just kind of started crying, and um, it was just a beautiful It was a beautiful trip truly, and it was you know, obviously I would have loved for you to be there, um when you were very much missed, But you know, obviously Pam and I had a blast, and you know, we were able to create a really fun little bucket list of things to check off and it was fun. Yeah, that's great. Well it's interesting because then when we went to Wilmington's, I mean everyone kept commenting about how happy you look and how light you are. That was really really cool. Yeah yeah, I know that was for sure. It's kind of and but then it made me cry because I'm like, man, I was really waited, and it's so weird because you don't really in the moment, even outsiders like you kind of see if you don't really see it until you see then how you are now, is it totally different? Yeah, you're just lighter, a lighter and lighter is a really good way to put it. I don't know, it's kind of hard to explain, but you yeah, I mean I was, yeah, the same. Just shocked how many people came up to me and they're like, you know you were you know, you were still lovely last year, but like you're just this so much happier person, and I'm like, wow, like I just I don't I guess I never realized how much. I mean, I knew that the infidelity and all that stuff and are relationship, how how much that was impacting my stress and my energy and my thoughts. And I got that, but then I don't. I really don't think how truly. I thought it was just like in those moments when I was triggered, but I mean it was now looking back, I'm like, man nose, it was like every day. And I just think now you can kind of be fully present where you we just couldn't be fully present before. I think that's a big difference, even with the fans, Like even in that two minutes that you may be able to talk to them about, you know, their struggles or whatever. You're just present. And I think that and I didn't have to like yeah, and like to be able to travel and I be like, oh, I wonder what's happening at home and like what am I going to find? It's like, oh god, so nice just not not have that anymore. So yeah, No, it felt great, and oh god, it was so fun to connect with everyone in Wilmington's. I loved the frenzy that caused when I posted that photo of me in Austin, like is this real life? I mean, granted, I did give him like the largest hug on stage because I didn't see even eleven years old nuts. So like when I saw him and he surprised me at the show, I'm like, I did you know one of those legs wrap around things and jumped up on him. And then the next day I posted like, you know, Julian and Alex got together and everyone thought that it was like basically us announcing a relationship, and I'm like, hey, so I texted him inside it was like hey Austin. I was like, um, everyone thinks we're dating like l O l l l O l um, but I mean I love Austin so much. He lives in Austin. I live in l A. I mean we are both single, but um, you don't live in l A. Oh my gotta live in Nashville. But either way, different city, that's right, different city. But no, I mean I love him, and who knows, You never know, You just never know. But no right now, but it's fun. It was so much fun. And then you know, it's fun to connect with Seawan Tala. I just love her to death too. So um, but we're gonna talk about sex and we're gonna get real uncomfortable for Catherine. I don't worry I'll ask all the questions. Um, so let's take a break and then let's get Jie on the show. Hello, Hi, Jaya, Hi, I'm so excited to talk to you. I'm like beyond excited. You know who's not excited this one. And it's not because and I hope you don't take that like, yeah, it's not It's not a personal thing. It's just a sexual thing, right, I completely understand. So yeah, because I mean I can talk about sex till I'm blue in the face. I love sex. I like talking about it. I like like a to z Like I'm like, I'm here for it. Let's let's like talk all about it. This one's like I don't want you to mention the word so you cannot have the most polar opposite women. I'll sit here and learn a lot ins Fine. Yeah, but her her therapist, our therapist actually gave her an assignment to like watch this like sexual show. Was the name of it again, sex Love and Goop? Sex Love and Goop? Have you ever heard of it? Yeah? Just a little bit, Okay, So and so she was I don't know again, because Katherine won't tell us a lot of why she gave her that assignment. But um is that she was kind of like going through you know, like if this person was like kinky, then um, you know, then then the partner does something like kinky to them. Is that part of the work that you do too, because you also do tantra? Right? Yeah, so the erotic blueprints what you're seeing in the show in Sex, Love and Goop where I'm working with a couple who has the mismatch. Oh my gosh, see she's on the show. She's on the show, right, Yeah, she does, so she can explain it so much better. Oh oh my god. Stop wait Okay, that is hilariably. Do you know the show just a little? I'm like, she because I haven't seen it obviously, but like, is she like the she's one of them. I was like, she looks really familiar. Oh my god, this is this is a thing. Okay, So why do you think her therapists are therapist made her watch that? I think because the show has a lot of education in it where we start to open up this conversation about sexuality, and I think especially for people who it's like oh it's I shouldn't talk about it, or it gives a different viewpoint of sexuality in a way that's really I'll say, I'll use the word whole them, but also very true to watching these people go through a transformation from maybe having a difficulty talking about it or communicating to understanding who they are. I think that that's a big piece of it, is who am I as an erotic being? And the show helps you that. Very first episode we talked about the erotic blueprints, and it kind of helps you start to get an idea of, well, maybe I am more energetic or maybe I am more sentual. It isn't just about intercourse. It isn't just about It's about my whole being and who I am. And you don't know why you don't like sex because it's like it wasn't talked about in your childhood. Is like my mom and I were like sitting around me like that, like you know, Southern conservative, not talked about not you know, and it's just then you just it's a hard thing to break. I feel like, so then right there, you're getting an education. You know. I asked people, oh, did you get a sex education? Did your parents talk to you about sex? And they'll be like, no, I and get an education. But my argument is you actually did get an education, and your education there was don't talk about it. It's not okay, it's something to be shameful about. We get those messages very early on. So then what do you do with that when someone is in that space where it is like uncomfortable for them, Like, what do you suggest, like do you suggest you know, doing these kind of blueprint? Um? I think because because I'll say she she took the quiz um, but like she was even saying like I wish there was a d none of the above, like you know, like is this some of it was like all of them? But I'm like, well want all of it? Like give me, Like you know, She's like, I want none of the above? Can I ask you a question about that? Sure? I love so much I need I need Amy, our therapist to listen too. That my face is so does it feel like you just don't know about the responses to the quiz or that it's just you just don't have a desire, you just don't like sex, like so there's so many different things to start to unravel. This is it the shame and conditioning you're programmed about or does it feel like authentically like I don't know. I could just take or leave it. Some of it I don't know, Like some of the questions, I was like, I really don't know. Yeah, so some of this I don't know, and some of it is I feel like since after having babies, the desires just not there as much either. M hmmm. So we look at that, we look at desire. We want to look at four things. When when I'm hearing is like after baby, after I had my son boy, my pelvic floor was blew out, my fourmones crashed, like all kinds of things happened, and I joke, I kind of went from sex goddess to freaked out mom because this is my career. And so there's a natural thing that happens sometimes when we have children. And so we want to look at four things. One is what's happening in your biochemistry? Have you had your hormones checked just to see maybe t stosteronees low or estrogen's out of balance, Like there's different things biochemically that could be happening to what happened physically. You know, did you have a tear when you were giving birth and that can affect things, um did you? And so then also what's happening emotionally, so we have chemically physically emotionally, are you feeling cared for all your sexual needs? And when I say sexual needs, I mean like the bonding need or the oxytocin need being met by you know, cuddling with your kids. And I don't mean like that in a erotic way. Actually that in the way of like you're getting that those touch needs met through the relationship there versus the emotional needs with a partner or did you feel supported like there's just so many things that could be happening on the emotional level. And then the final one is the bio energetic level. If you did have a tear that goes right through the meridian? Did you have a terror? What is it that hurts? Because I when we say like it hurts, no, So long story short, when I was younger, I had to have like a surgery because of some just anyway, and so yes, it is painful. So I have a lot of I have I think a lot of those different things. So there is a painful part of it. And then off also emotional And although it makes sense completely, I mean, if sex is painful, why would you want to have it? My friend is Sara Parel says, you have to have sex worth wanting and love her. And so there's a number of things you can do with that pain. And one if they're scar tissue, there's ways that scar tissue remediation to help heal the pain. There's publvic floor massage or seeing a sex logical body worker, which you also see in the show could be also why you're therapist recommended it. We have um Darshana who's working with the two women in the show to show how she's helping with pain. And then if you if you know you feel too like, oh gosh, I can't go see someone, one of the ways to just start is by getting up your finger, putting it right on the spot and just holding and breathing with yourself and letting the emotion or letting right, just going slow with your own self, just like you see in the show shann To go with the women there that we often see pain start to diminish through that kind of work. Interesting, that is very interesting. So I did a tantra session with my ex um when we were still married, and I and something that kind of came up from me when I was talking about it, is like I understand that couples have, um, how do I say this, like different sexual needs and different sexual wants, but also at the same time, in my mind, I'm like, should it be that hard, like you know, to have like just sex and connect and like because for me, I'm like, I don't know why we have to go to a therapist to like figure out why our sex life isn't good. Like it's like it's almost like discouraging in a way. Yeah, yeah, and that's something I'd love to just like normalizely to get help. Like there's a joke another show and I said, well, we could have sex like squirrels, Like squirrels know how to have sex. Like there's that, there's there at that, and then my partner says, and then there's becoming an erotic artist. Then there's having sex that's like really good and mind blowing. And oftentimes we don't even know what's possible when it comes to sex, and and so we're trying to do it like, oh, it should be just natural and it should just be this easy, simple thing. Well, yeah, sex is you put slot and this lot be if that's your definition of sex, and you do you mush around until something explodes. And that's one version, you know, that's one version of what sex could look like, and and then there's all the other infinite possibilities of what sex could look like. And so there's there's not absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a sex coach to better your relationship, to better your sexuality, to learn more about what's possible. And I'm curious what your blueprint is? Yeah, do you know? I don't know. No, I haven't taken I didn't take the quiz, So I'm curious homework for you. Okay, it's take the quiz and find I said it would take a minute. Let's say if I've gotten it yet, I don't think. Um, yeah, what what kind of different blueprints are there? So there's five erotic blueprints. The first one is someone who's energetic, and the energetic is turned on by space I need to tease yearning. And then the second one is essensual, and the sensual someone who's turned on by all of their senses being ignited. So like slow dancing, cuddling candles. I think that's me. Why why are you looking at me like that? You don't think it's true? No, I just I got that. I think I just answered that anyway you did. I can see that though, being more sensual and I don't love like affection, yeah yeah, and relaxation like relax usually dream sex instead of relaxed, especially because of the pain like that. Yeah anyway. Yeah. So so the sexual is the next one, and it's what we think of a sex in our culture. So it's intercourse, it's nudity, it's orgasms, it's penetration. And then the next one is kinky, and the kinky someone who's turned on by the taboo, and that's whatever is taboo for you. Yeah, I'm probably not. I'm either the sensual or the what was the other and after sensual sexual? Yeah, because and I think that's where I have where I can call out my faults and it is sometimes I for me, intimacy is sex, whether it's I get off or if the person gets off or like like I can't even I mean, if we're really going there. You know, I've I've always been like the giver, and I'm always been like, you know, ended at the end of the marriage, I'm like, do you just not care that? I don't ever? You know what I mean? And it's because then I started to be like I want to now, Like I'm now, I'm like, you know, I'm getting older, and my hormones are like phone through me. I'm like, now I would like to have and so I think. But for a long time I've always just been like, Okay, we're close because we just had sex, regardless of like if I came or whatever. Um. But then I also need to realize too that like sex isn't just that's not like that really, we weren't really being intimate, Like there's other ways to be intimate with your partner than just having sex totally. And I think this ties into the limited definition of sex that comes from living in a sexually blueprinted, dominant culture. We have this culture that lives in that blueprint and forgets the other blueprints, and in that culture, it's that sex equals intercourse equals orgasm equals this, and we miss out on the connection or the energetic expansion that can happen with the other blueprints, or the shape shifters, which I didn't talk about yet, but the shape shifter someone who loves it all and they're turned on by all of it. And I find that out of the blueprints that the most starving of all the blueprints because they can shape shift to be what other people want, but they're not necessarily they're not like here's what I need and I need it all and I need three hours of that, and that sex isn't just this ten minute thing that is I say, there's a standard narrative which is like kiss, kiss and touch, touch and lick lick, and then we go to inter punkt dam and so I think we need to step out of that narrative, especially when we look at the majority of people are not just sexually blueprinted. We actually are this whole range of full spectrum sexuality that does involve love and intimacy and connection and outer course and hours of maybe not even touching in the In the show, in episode two, I have a touchless orgasm that I demonstrate. Oh my god, I wanted to see. I watched four episodes. You watched four episodes. That's impressive. But I saw that. That was impressive. See that's like, oh, I want to like, I love that that you love the show. Sure, I think that would be great. Like I want to find that like in my next person. I want to be able to have like a touchless orgasm like that. How How like I mean, can you just imagine like that, like that the chemistry and like the you should watch it like passion, like I just want like the passion and like I don't know. Ye, yeah, it really does sound like you are essentual sexual. I love that. And I think that this myth to that, like cis gendered, women are not sexually blueprinted. I'm my highest a sexual and then I'm energetic right underneath it. And so if you do the more in depth quiz, you'll get all these percentages of exactly what you are and so and then it's interesting to see my partner, he's the opposite of me, So he's primarily kinky, sensual, and and I think it's interesting because we attract these opposites. Now, if you're dating, like you were saying, oh, my next person like a shape shifter. If you can find a shape shifter to date, or like somebody who has high energetic there you go with the touchless orgasms because they're going to be more in tune to dancing with you that way. I'm just gonna be like, Hi, thanks for taking me out on date. Can you take this quiz really fast? Like, let's just get to the let's see what's under the hood. Like when my hair dresser said today, he's like, before you take the car, we gotta see what's under the hood. If you know what I mean, what do you think is like the biggest misconception about sex? I think the biggest misconception about sex is that it means intercourse. I think that we limit what sex is by limiting its intercourse because and this is one of the questions on the quiz, which is, well, why do you have sex? And I think that this is an important question because I have sex for much more than just the physical aspect of it. I have sex to connect. I have sex because I it opens me spiritually. I can connect to something greater than myself. I I connect with me in it. The pleasure that I experienced fuels my life. Like there's so many different reasons for us to have sex that isn't just about intercourse, and I think that really limits it. I when when you're just thinking about that question and like why you have sex, I think I go to it honestly in not a good way where it's like yes because I enjoy it. But I think if I was being totally honest with myself, it would be because I want to feel chosen. Mm hmm like that. I'm like, if I get that, then I'm like I'm chosen right, which is like messed right, that's messed up. I'm I think a lot of us feel like if I'm having sex, then I'm chosen, I'm loved. Um it feeds us and in our egoic way, and that that that doesn't mean it's bad. I think. I think that there's part of us that has to stop making ourselves wrong things. And when we stop making ourselves wrong and we just accept like, here's who I, here's how I am right now, and is that serving me? I think that that's always a really good question. Or how about if I choose myself ultimately? My front door says sex, But behind that door is how can we love ourselves unconditionally? And how can we accept ourselves unconditionally? And I think sex is a pathway to that awakening of loving ourselves and going Okay, I choose me, So then how do I respond differently with sex if I already am chosen? Yeah, I hear that. It's very What do you think about like in the dating world, like, how how soon do you think that you someone should have sex with somebody else when you're ready. Okay, yeah, you know. I don't think that there's any rule. I think as soon as we make up some rule, then we're operating under that rule, and that rule may not be appropriate, and it might depend on the person that we're with. That's I I love just giving people the quiz and seeing who they are erotically and getting to note them a little bit. I have another thing called the sex Communication Checklist, and it's what they want to do sexually or what they're willing to do sexually. And these are conversations I'd like to have before I have sex with someone, and then I see how they respond to know how close they get to me, and how how I would be with them. So if they respond with I'm not taking those quizzes and I don't want to talk about sex, then I know that they're not the person who I want to enter into an intimate relationship with because they're unwilling to be in the conversation with me around consent, around safe sex, around what we all love and desire. And I think these conversations are not easy. So because of the culture that we live in, would you ever do tantra with Nick. Oh god, I don't know. I honestly don't know. Yeah, it would be interesting because maybe, like you could because it's because, like you said, it's not really just about sex. Like there, I felt connected doing that and there was no intercourse happening. I mean, I've probably done what she did on the show, probably, I mean it would not be comfortable. Which one how she put them on the table, like based on there, how do we how do we get Catherine on the show? No drawing a time, There's no way I'm doing that with cameras, you know. I think that's an interesting thing too, of these couples who came on the show, We're so Brave, I'm going to talks about it in the show. She says, you know, to be vulnerable and camera's one thing, but to be sexually vulnerable is a whole other thing. And and so putting them putting themselves out there in that way so that other people could learn and see and see what's possible, it was really powerful. So that's interesting because when my therapist, we didn't talk about it a long time because we're talking earlier that that was my homework, and she was like, well, what was your biggest takeaway and that was my biggest takeaway from it, which which was just their bravery and like I would love to be that open and brave. I mean yeah, I mean of course. It's like, you know, I'm envious of these people, you know, the old couple and like you know, it's just you know, the woman who's uncomfortable with her body, you know, just to be able to get in front of a camera and do that, I'm envious of that. And that was kind of my biggest take a way was how brave these people were for sure. Yeah, and so that that would be a place for you is the bravery. It's like, oh, I'd love to have that bravery, that courage since that was the piece of the show that touched you. Is just like what's in the way of that courage to be with that part and work with that part of Well? Why why am I scared of that? Or you know, I really value an honor to that and that's the way I would like to be more of. So what's the charge, what's the thing that's blocking that? And then we would process that, you know, if we were working together and you are my client, that would be the first place we'd start, We wouldn't even get on the table. It would just be let's work with this part that feels scared, and how can we help that part feel safe, to explore to the edges and integrate these parts of us that block us or feel unsafe because they really just want you to be They want you to be safe the part that that's there, and oftentimes once they feel safe, then the courage can come. Mm hmm. What is like you know when you because obviously you have a lot of passion behind it, you're very passionate about it. What what are you? Um? Is? It? Is it seeing someone get to that place where they're comfortable? Like? What? What? Um? What's kind of like your biggest um that makes you proud of the work that you do or that makes it that fulfills you and that there's a moment that happens often in the work where people remember who they are And it's that moment that is the most rewarding moment for me, is when they are here and they're them and they fall in love with themselves in that moment when they realize who they are without the conditioning, without all the programming, without their stories, or without the pain, what they experienced in the past, and they let go of all that and they're just them here now in the moment, and there's a look on the face and there's uh, they look at me and whoa. When the moment happens, that's it. Yeah, I mean, because I can imagine, you know, I mean as much as we like laughed, you know, because it is it's it's an uncomfortable goofy like it doesn't feel it's it's sometimes talking about sex can feel like, oh my god, this is super uncomfortable. But that's gotta Even when I was doing the tangent, I was like I was so uncomfortable, but like, you know, yeah there. I'm sure there comes a place in a time when that does happen where you're just like so comfortable with yourself that like this is just who you are, Like it's not it's not uncomfortable anymore. So that must be so cool. This is me. Yeah, I am where um where can people? Um? Do you just like take clients when like can people just reach out to you? Do you have a website? I have a waiting list for a really long time. She's like we've trained about quite a few erotic blueprint coaches and they are also people who do what you see in the so called sexological body workers. So you can reach out and find you can find those on our website and then UM also the website is website is the Blueprint Breakthrough dot Com. That's to take the quiz the Blueprint Breakthrough dot Com and then to do the just go to my website. My website is Jaya dot Love l o V E Gaia dot Love llo V. Yeah, I love it well, Jia, thank you so much. I appreciate you coming on and and chat with us. I mean, what a very full circle moment, Like I'm theist what happened? Because it's it was you know, she told me about this homework assignment. She's like, you will never guess what our therapist made me do UM for a homework assignment. So the fact that you know, it's crazy. But it was very nice to meet you and talk with you. Very nice to meet you. I want to hear how it goes. I'm so curious how your journey is going to unfold from here. Keep you updated. Okay, all right, thanks to I appreciate you. UM scale of one to ten, How much do you hate me one to ten. I mean, I don't hate you. I don't hate you. I feel like that was like a really full I could not believe it. She looks familiar, and I was like, oh my gosh, it's the show that we just talked about. It's crazy. I mean, it's all I get it, you know, I get it, and I think it's good for me to expand my However, watching the show, I did realize I'm not alone. A lot of people are uncomfortable with it. Yeah. That was also good too, because sometimes I feel like I'm the only one. Well, I mean, you have me is your best friend who's like, well that might be what like? But I think it's fair. I mean, I definitely think there's a lot of people that are the way that I am. So sure it gets you know. Also good to hear that perspective. Yeah, for sure, go take the quiz. Though, I will take the quiz, and you should watch the show we Is. I would love to watch the show. You would love it? Um, Yeah, I know I would love to. But I gotta go get ready for a date. So make him take the quiz. Yeah, I know, I'll make I'll be like, Hi, take take this quiz let me know. Um, all right, well that was fun and um yeah, see you guys next week.