Follow Your Intuition

Published May 24, 2021, 4:00 AM

Jana shares intimate moments from one of the most challenging nights of her life when Mike was officially served with divorce papers.

 

Find out everything that happened and how she kept herself focused on that difficult decision.

 

And, the amazing DeVon Franklin gives Jana some incredible advice about what to do when your marriage doesn’t meet your expectations. Not only does he help Jana, he'll help your relationship as well.


Jana hears some crucial lessons from Tara Taylor, an internationally renowned intuitive counselor, spiritual teacher and published author.

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast. I am pumped about today's episode Mark Eastern. Are you guys excited beyond Beyond? Mark? You have not been here for a minute. What's going on with you? I have not. You kind of left me hanging there for a little bit. You know, I have so many different things and I want to be here every time, and some weeks it just doesn't work out. But I'm here now. We should focus on that, all right, focus on the positive, right, that's all about the positive. Um. Well, you know who is here who hasn't left my side is my best friend Katherine. Hey, guys, Hi Catherine? Are you so? I don't know if you listen to last week's episode. Did you listen to it? No? You didn't. I kind of mentioned you. I'm worried. That's why I haven't listened yet. No. I I mentioned you because I told the story about the night after I filed for divorce and I had to take the kids to school and you were in the kitchen and I came out and I was having like a full blown panic attack and I was just like, I can't take the kids to school, and you were like and I was waiting for you to say I'll take them. I know, I know you were, and you didn't say it, and I'm like, why isn't she saying she'll take the kids? I can't you see him having a panic attack on the floor and I'm sweating and I'm crying, and I'm like, and you were like, you didn't even give me a day. You tough love me so fast. Well, first off, I didn't realize us mad the night, so I had no contacts in Okay, let's just start there, so I knew I physically was not driving your kids to school. Um, but I did say, Hey, we're gonna have this panic attack right now, and then we're gonna get better and we're gonna take your kids to school and it's gonna be fine, and then you can come home and then you can cry for the next four hours. I did say that, Yeah, and my tough loved you. I'm sorry, no, no, but I think it was you tough love me. But I think I needed it because in that moment, that day was the determining factor if I was going to let anxiety rule my life or not, because I was just like, I've never done anything by myself. You know, it was always like Mike and I and it was like we did this together, and we did that together, and the thought of doing something by myself gave me so much anxiety that I was like, I don't even know if I can physically drive my kids, which I know I'm capable, but when I'm in that state, I don't feel like I'm capable of doing anything. And I was like, I don't even know if I can drive them ten minutes, which is actually like eight minutes their school. But that's how like messed up I was. But it was because I felt like I came off I was coming off of a drug and I had that like such terrible anxiety that I was just and it was like, and if you would have in a sense enabled me that day, because in my mind, I'm like, God, catherinely Case, you see, like I'm like having a massive panic attack and I need you as my best friend to take my kids to school. But it's like, give me a freaking week to, like, you know, cry about this. Well, I think I know you well enough to know that you needed for me not to enable you right then. I mean, first of all, I come from, you know, a drug addict, mother. You know, I come from the past of addicts, and I've recognized that in you. Um, and I know that me enabling you in that moment, it would have been easy, Yes, I mean could I physically have driven them. I mean I would have been squinting, but I could have driven them. It would have been ugly, But I knew that I had to give you no choice. I couldn't come over every day and take your kids to school. You know, I can't do it. I have my own three kids. I can't physically do that for you. Um. We can hire somebody to do it for you, but you're not going to feel good about yourself, you know. So it's I knew you as a mother, you had to you know. I gave you a few minutes. You had a few minutes of your attack or you know, panic attack, I guess, but um, but you did it, and you came home and you asked me to stay, and I'll never forget. I was like, all right, I'll stay as long as she needs. You got back and you're like, all right, you can go, And I was like, you know, sometimes you just need and and I hate it because it comes off kind of I'm not the most. You know, I'm not the most loving, touching, nourishing person or not nourishing. I ses it's the wrong word, but and I know it can come off bad sometimes, but I think sometimes, especially the way that you can be, I think that you need it and then that you need the other stuff too. But yeah, I mean, you know me more than any of my my friends. And you know, like in that moment, what I truly needed was that tough love. And I think because of that, and I almost and I say this to like, thank you too, because if you would have done that, like I would have just stayed in that anxious state. But it was like I had to pull up my big girl pants on because and that's what you said. You're like, you're a mom, you got this. You've got two kids, you need to do this. And and you know, yeah, did I bawl my entire way home, like for sure, but you know I had to also be like, okay, this is it was just crazy, but it also brought me to that place of the night that might get served. Um. It's it was literally like a drug. I was like, I need you. He can't come in this room because a second if he comes in this room, I'm gonna probably ask for him back, or I'm gonna beg for this, or I'm gonna like or I'm gonna need like because I need him. Like it was like literally like like I need him, and you were you were like my my person in the living room being like y'all, let you explain it. It's kind of the bodyguard just kind of terrifying. Um no, that's that's exactly right. You. You and those in that moment had to have someone to protect you from yourself. And it's not always easy to be that person. But I can recognize that and you and I think you know. I mean, I literally sat in the living room while he went up and down the stairs putting the kids to bed, doing whatever he was, and I just sat there. I sat there on my phone until he asked to come into your room, and I said no, I said, please do not go in there. You've done enough. Let her be, just let her be. And the in the addict of me was like I wanted him so badly to come in that room and and hold me and love me and tell me he's sorry and like and give me that hit, because that's what I like, I needed it so bad. It's interesting though, but you recognize it now, I do, but you did on the front end because I was in the room with you and you said, no, I need you to go out there and make sure he does not come in here. So you recognize it because I've done it a million times. Yeah, It's like that's the thing. It's like, how good is when someone's addicted to drugs? Like it's I wanted that hit, but I also know what that hit does to me, So it's I'm like, you know, it's like that scene and walk the line where they're like get out, like you know, the the comes a good Johnny some more drugs. It's like you were that person for me, and because I know that I couldn't I would want to take that hit. I think that you fully gave me permission this time too to do those things, you know, Yeah, And I think this time it was like, all right, this is the plan, this is what I need you to do. And I had the permission to do it and I wasn't going to back down, where there have been times where I haven't fully had that permission from you and you weren't ready. And I'm I'm a firm believer in timing, and I think that you know, the timing of this was just different and it was the right time, and I think we we all obviously know that. But you gave me that permission this time. Whether you really wanted him to come in the room or you really wanted him to leave or whatever it was, you knew what you really deep down needed, and you give me permission to be that person. So I think that's why it kind of it worked this time as easy as it wasn't, I know, But you know, I'd love to get some kind of specialists that deals with addiction beca I think being an addict and love is like that is so that drug. I mean that hit having that and and that um codependency of the trauma bond, like all of it is so it can mess you up so bad, even just in like if you're just dating someone too, have you ever, like I mean, I'm not a very codependent person, so it's hard. I'm I'm almost too independent, So that's my fault as that you know, I'm definitely too independent. Um, but you're definitely a codependent person, which I mean in general, and I mean it doesn't matter in a relationship and a friendship and anything. You're a very codependent person, um, and that's okay. I just think you have to figure out now what that looks like and how you enjoy your time alone and how you get to, you know, really focus on yourself. And I think that that's kind of the next step that will be hard for you. Mark. What do you what do you think and when you anything coming up for you? Because I'm know that I mean a lot. I'm just trying to think of what I can ask that's acceptable and what's not and what's been First of all, the overwhelming thing I'm thinking is what a great friend to have. I mean, my gosh. Everybody should be so lucky to have a Katherine in their life. I mean, that's amazing that she was there for you, knew exactly what you needed in that moment. That's selfless. So I'm very impressed with that, Katherine. But also I'm just taken back to that night. So it was Mike served at your house. Yeah, so it was and that even like dealing with that. I mean it felt like a movie, did it not. When we were sitting in the lawyer's office trying to figure out like what how to do it, and because it's like I couldn't because I mean, honestly, what I wanted was just to be like here, you know, here the papers, because like he knew I was I think he knew I was falling. I mean, but he was out, he was out of the house. Yeah for how long? Oh it's a week okay, less than a yeah, and so, um, it was one of those things where it couldn't it couldn't be me. By law, you can't serve um. I couldn't serve him papers. Um. And so then they're like, well, Katherine ken but again that's you know, she's she's going to have to be around him, Like there's just that energy too. I don't think she really wanted to take that on, right, No, No, I wasn't excited about that. I would have done it, but I wasn't too excited about that in a really terrible position. Yeah. So it's just like trying to figure that out was tough, and I think, you know, and meanwhile, I'm just like sitting in the lawyer's office like this is like it just felt like a dream, Like how is this even like a reality? But um, we he he wanted to put the kids down. So the only way that it could happen is it has to be outside of a house too, So it's like leaving somewhere. That's another rule. It can't be in your home. Yeah right, I'm not so sure about that. I think we didn't want him in the house because I know she had told a story. I know she had told a story about someone like throwing it in the house. Remember, so I think you can. I don't know, honestly, but we wanted him out of the house. We wanted the kids down asleep, make sure that that's all set, and then get him out of the house and then give it to him. And why are you involved in this? Why isn't it an independent person just going to his place and serving him like it is? We didn't know where he was staying. There was an independent person coming to we Finally it was the end of the day, but we wanted it done that day. Um, So they were having a hard time finding someone to serve, but then they finally found someone, so they were outside. So it was an independent party that ended up serving him. Yeah, and that was and and I knew what was happening. So meanwhile, I'm in the room, I know what's about to happen? And I'm wailing, like bawling, crying because all I wanted to do, honestly in that moment was to run out and say never mind, never mind, never mind, guy go away, like might come here. I mean, I literally that's what I wanted to do, because that was the addict in me being like the second he gets those papers, it's done, and I can't go back to that person anymore, Like I can't because that's for me. It's like whenever I filed, that was my I was done. I can't go back from that. I can How how can you you know? Like for me that it was just something that was I was very um careful and never actually filing. So when so me knowing like he's with the kids upstairs, I'm in the room, like the anxiety and then like no, but I'm like also knowing if I walk out of that room saying never mind, she's going to probably tackle my ass. So they would have been you know, so you know that's that's why. And he heard me crying not and I was trying not to cry, but how could you not, Like I know what's about to happen, and it was killing me. So he puts the kids down, he hears you crying, he wants to come talk you. Catherine blocks him, says absolutely not because she knows the situation. She knows that jan is an a a vulnerable place. And you talk him into leaving. Yeah, he basically was like, um, he was He was nice, and he was like, I'm gonna I'm gonna go check on her. And I was like, please, don't You've done enough, Like it's just you know, it's time. He asked me again and I begged him and I basically just said, please do not go in there, and he said, I trust you, and he left and that's when he found the server and that's when he gets started at his truck. Yeah. It makes me want to vomit just thinking about that. Yes. Wow. Uh. And of course there's been no communication since because now they're can't be right, Um, just that we just talked about the kids. I mean I have texted him, and I mean, be honest, I've texted him a bunch and been like how you know why, and like this isn't what I wanted and it's not fair. But um, I officially signed the paperwork last week and that was that was like the hardest of all the days, just like seeing like the signatures and like and not being what I want and like what I wanted for my family. That was that was like, that was a very hard day. UM. And I called him after I signed the papers and I told him it was signed, and you know, I expressed to him like everything that I was, Like. I know I wasn't a perfect wife, but I would have fought till I would have fought forever for this family and for you and for like you know, and and I just said, from here on out, I've you know, I'm going to stop with the y in the house because now I have to move on. But yeah, anyways, can we take it to say, I really I just want to stay real quick that the fact that Davon Franklin's on the day is perfect because he is going to make you feel like you can conquer the world. I love that guy good because I need a little help with that. Alright, guys, let's take a break and then, UM, we've got some too awesome guests coming on. Okay, very excited because we have Tara Taylor coming on. UM. For more information on Tara, you can actually go to Tara Taylor dot c A and she's an internationally renowned intuitive counselor. First, can we just talk about because even Catherine, when you know we're reading the breakdown or like intuitive counselor, so, how do you how do you even do that? Like how do you start with that? Sure? So the definition, you know, intuitive counselor means above the board. Like, so anything that has to trust with your intuition, we call it spidy sense. We call it, uh, you know, your your gut feeling. It's really kind of who we are. We're all intuitive being. Some of us just experience in a different way. So for example, Jenna, you're a feeler hands down, So another word would be EmPATH right, Um, so that's kind of how we all work. For me, when I was a little girl, I just kind of knew things without knowing how I knew them, or I would see them, or I would experience or hear things, you know, like any good parent. I got test for bipolars but personality, when I was a little I would say, well, Papa would come and talk to me, and they'd be like, oh, she's dreaming right, And over time, you know, and then over time they thought okay, maybe she's onto something because I how do I know certain things that were coming out of my mouth. Now this is around the age of seven, so these are just kind of my parents tell me more stories, and I really remember kind of what's going on, because you don't know what's different until you're told it's different. I didn't think it was different, right, So but I've dedicated my whole life. So after all that happened, and this was in the early eighties, I'm Canadian, as you're gonna hear my accent come out in a couple of ways. Um, so what happens is and they came back and they said, well, she's got this ESP thing like have a nice life, and that was that was it. You know if there wasn't anything at that time that really understood how I understand like what I was experiencing wise experiencing it, you know what this intuition thing was, ESP. Extra sense perception like all of this, and back then there just wasn't the same sort of information, at least it wasn't for me as a young person or for my parents. So I dedicate my life now twenty plus years of helping people with the highly intuitive children or just people with intuition in general, So people come and see me for sessions because I don't like to define it as a psychic, a medium, all those like all of the above, because that's kind of what I do. I don't know anything different. But I'm very, very professional at what I do because to me, it's about how do I spread love? Like how do I help people understand that so they can, you know, have the same connection with God the way I do. We all have the same connection. It's just learning how to work with it. We all kind of have this like light switch that turns off. Well, mine just didn't. So people call me either extra sensitive or I'm highly intuitive. To me, I'm just tear. At the end of the day, I thought everybody was like this, Like I said, but I help people kind of get back in touch with that and to trust that inner voice. Yeah, I mean that inner voice is something too, especially because we all have that gut feeling, that gut intuition. But it's how do you, like, if if you're gonna tell me things right now, like, how would I actually receive that and listen to it? Like how do you tell people that you work with to be like listen to your gut, listen to your intuition. So for me, it's more of like we all have a spiritual entourage, divine team, whatever you want to call it. So when we come into this life, we have these loved ones or beings or whatever you want to call God, same, divine, all all the same that guide us through making sure that we're going to fulfill a certain purpose in this life. We're all born with a purpose and then we go home. When we come back, we do it again and again and again. And that's kind of kind of people talk about source progression or life purpose journey. So in my experience, when I go into kind of helping somebody understand their intuition, it's more I'll receive this, I'll know something about you that how would I know? And so that's validation saying I knew that I needed to do that, I knew my intuition was saying that. So I'm just kind of really crystal clear when things come at me, I don't question them. I just let it happen. We all have a beautiful ego. They're gonna be wrong. The ego totally needs a new publicist, and it's it's misunderstood Okay, it's totally misunderstood. The ego is only designed to challenge the infinite self when we're on the right path. Does that make sense? Can you say it one more time? Yeah, the ego was designed to only challenge the infinite self when we're on the right path. So how do we learn how to love if we don't experience hate? How do we learn to forgive if we don't have something to not forgive? You have like unforgiveness, all of these things, there's all of these areas that we go into. What is the opposite of that experience? How do I truly know I'm divine love if I don't experience the opposite of that? To remember who I am and what I'm doing here? Right? And this kind of goes into Jenna, I mean, things that have been going on with you and just intuitively your knowing no way back in the day and so you do. We talk and I see lots of people kind of coming and going in my body just doesn't hold onto those sort of things, like I always remember a beautiful energy. I don't remember what we talked about because I focus on the task at hammer, what's happening in that moment, I just let myself be in the moment and let come out what's supposed to come out. Again, I don't question what comes out. Um. I think kind of the journey that you're on right now is going into another phase, like you will woken. You will woken to this new um knowing, nous or intuitiveness that's been hitting you for quite some time. But there was a fear really jumping into that because there are certain things that stem from your childhood the way that you would view relationships, and it started with your parents, Honey, it started with your dad and trying to find home and trying to find home with um, certain men in your life, and there's been certain things that have been repetitive in your life that it's kind of like your need to be a family or base a family or having this family let's say agenda has now come up because you realize that you're already born complete. No one completes you, okay, like your primary relationship is with God as as as like clear as I could get with that. We look from the time we're born, we're kind of taught this fairy tale let someone else come com pleats us, that something outside of us completes us. Everything is within. There's a teaching that goes like this, like Jesus would say things like, and to his disciples, you know, do not build temples. God lives here and he would point out his chest or you could look at you know, stayings by Buddha. Budda would say things like in the text, everything outside of ourselves as ignorance. Everything is within. So every set of religion tradition talks about the sense that we are all connected to the same place. We are all kind of put into this spighty sense of knowing our truth. So and we all have this kind of pattern or something that we're here to learn. And Jenny, you're kind of stepping into this knowing nous that was always there. There's just part of you that didn't want to trust it because there was a part of you that may have wanted something, but it was in love with the idea of somebody not really who they were. Does that make sense? Okay? So intuitively, you know, I could rhyme off a bunch of things, say like I know that you're meant to go into the different days, Like I know you're meant to have children, I know that you're gonna get that person that comes to the same values as you do, and and all that sort of stuff. I know that all of those things are going to work out for you because you're stepping into your greatness. Now, you're listening to your soul. There was a time before where you weren't listening. You were looking outside of yourself for those answers and looking for something or someone to complete that part of yourself that felt that need to um feel this completeness. But that completeness was always there, and you're finally seeing that light within yourself to step into that. That makes sense. Yeah, um, so this is what you know. I kind of want to share with you is that intuitively, what you're being called to task to you right now is to find forgiveness for things that you may not understand. M is to look at somebody and say, I can have love for you, but I don't need to love your behavior because something would have brought you together with all let's say, all of our past relationships and always like you would have loved for that person. They may hurt you, they may do things to spite you, they may um disrespect you, but there was a time where you were in the uh, you share dinners together, you had these experiences, you have children, whatever that is, there was a time. So somebody does something that doesn't stand up to the same value that you have the ideas to have compassion for it. But it doesn't mean you have to condone the behavior, nor doesn't mean that you need to stay in something that doesn't vibrate at the same alignment that you're at. M You either grow together or you grow apart. There's no in between. So sometimes we just have to say tata for now. We'll continue all this journey, just not the way we were doing it before. And that's really kind of where you're at is learning that you were complete your whole and now it's allowing to see that you can have somebody in your life but not looking for something to complete you in it. That makes sense then, you know, and God is going to bring you into that. You know, this is this is kind of the awakening that has been bestowed on you. Beautifully is coming into your own shining your light. You have all these amazing things coming up for you. Um, I can just it's kind of like I use this example like I see it's almost like I watch people's movies and things come up at me and I can really see how things are going to pan out, Like I feel like there's something important. Um, God loving honey. I don't listen to your music, but you must be a singer, because I just keep seeing all this music stuff that's coming up that you're supposed to be going into. Like some of us have to shed our skins to go to the next level, or think of like a snake shedding its skin. And there's just certain things that we're holding you back. And sometimes it is a relationship, sometimes it's a friendship. Sometimes it's our own personal things that we do in our self sabotaging. So this was something that was distracting you from not allowing you to fulfill your destiny here, so that had to be let go to jump into the next thing. So everything is a series of beginnings and endings, beginnings and endings in our whole life. And that's the journey that you're starting to see. And when you pull back, which I know intuitably you've been doing, to really see like what's the issue here? What has actually gone on? You know, I have accomplished what I wanted to do out of this relationship I still have love for at that certain person, but I no longer want to continue down this path because it doesn't make me feel connected in the way that I want to feel. I felt more alone in this than I felt connected. So that tells you something, and that means when we feel alone, it means we're not connected to our God's center. So we're never really truly alone. We have the angels God to all this beautiful energy around us all the time. The sense of loneliness really just means that you're not in touch inside. You're not in tuning to your own soul's growth and your soul's voice. That's all that that is. So no one can really hurt you if you allow it to. But when you realize you're already complete and you're already in that place, you'll just guide through that and you'll look at that person with compassion and love and just say, I just don't choose to love that behavior, and I choose to move on this path. If you want to meet me with my value is great. If you don't, I have to let it go. That's sometimes is a way of truly loving somebody when we let go of conditions and how we want someone to be versus what they really are. That makes sense. So you know, forgiveness isn't something that happens overnight, and you can forgive something within yourself or someone within yourself. Um, but you've been on this journey for so long that I'm sure this has been a breath of fresh air kind of coming into the decision that you needed to do. And anybody can look afar and say, you know, this person should do that or could have done that, It doesn't matter. Everybody has their own journey and they need to learn on their own and their epiphanies will come, and all we need to do is hold the space for everybody so they learn on their own path. You know, to judge really come from a place of being judgmental. To really love is to really be present and to support whatever journey that person is on, no matter if we like it or not. Right, you get what I'm saying. It's like, I don't think you've ever liked my Well, it's been a hard one to learn and to sit back and watch. But you know, I just said earlier, Terra that I very much believe in timing, and I think that the timing for this for her it had to be this time. It couldn't have been two times before when I thought that she should have been done, you know, I mean it wasn't It wasn't her path and it wasn't her timing. And I think that's yeah, it lines up really well. Yeah, and that's Janda, that's what you said like a couple of years ago. I guess when we had spoken. We've come full circle, which a lot of people come back to seeing me, which is great. So I'm happy because I want to spread love that way, you know, and teach people to empower themselves and trusting their intuition. But that was it. It's like, no matter what message was delivered at that time, it served a purpose to sit there and when you were ready to listen and receive it, it was available to you. Nothing's lost in the eyes of God, honey, it's just the journey we have to walk. Like, how do we know what we want when we don't experience what we don't want? Right? So everything is a blessing no matter what it is, you know, especially this experience now that you've just been through energetically has taught you that there's this place where you can look at somebody and thank them from reminding you to love yourself. Like what if this whole experience was exactly the way it was, so it reminded you to step into your power. So instead of saying I dislike you, I hate you, I just despise anything to say thank you for reminding me of who I am, the love that I hold, and my gone set through that I'm supposed to do here in this life. I love that. Wasn't that the blessing? Yeah? I love that? Because I have had so much like hate and like anger for like ruining the family and stuff and what I wanted, and because, like you said, like you know, I grew up in a divorce family, so I always said, like when I have kids, I will I will not let that happen. And so that's been the biggest disappointment for me that I feel like I failed them. And but but to to your point, like what you just said, like one day I hope to be like thank you, like because I'll have found my worth even though it was you know that was that person was trying to take it, you know, but it really wasn't like that they had their own issues with their own self worth too. So it's not so. I just I would love to be able to have that one day, to just be like thankful for it. And you will, because we'll come full circle again at some point in our lives and we'll have this conversation like remember when you told me I'll be able to look at him with love and forgiveness. I'm like, I'm there. It doesn't bother. I said, I told you, honey, you will get there right now. You have to grieve. A loss is a loss is a loss. It's all the same, a death, a relationship. So you just have to grieve all those moments. It's okay to be angry. You know. When we're little, girls were told, you know, be a good girl, be smile. Girls don't are allowed to get angry. You know. There's all these kind of fixed beliefs that are bestowed upon us. But it's okay to be angry. So to say like, I don't like your behavior. I've got love for that, but I don't like that, and I need space right now and I need my boundaries because I need to heal through this. That's more powerful, and that's being honest about how your emotions are. You saying like I can still you know, like things about you, but I don't have to like this, that and everything else about you. So it's it's really about you set the boundaries, like no one can take anything from you. No one can really hurt you unless you allow them to, right. So that's really where it goes, is that you are really in that place. So any time that you feel that you're being lonely or or separated out, or that anger starts, to sit be with it and be like, I'm going to express this anger. I'm gonna grab my junk journal, I'm gonna start writing, and it can be the most culpful words you want to use. No one's ever going but read it. No one's gonna look at us. Nobody's business. Okay, you can call them all the names under the sun or whoever that is you want to direct that energy to. Then rip it up and throw it out. Just because you're feeling anchor doesn't mean it's your truth and doesn't mean who you really are. It's just a it's an emotion. We're emotional beings. I'm sure you've heard this world saying that goes, you know where these spiritual beings having emotional moments on earth, like that's really what we are, and we're fully present in our ego and all of that's there. It's like we are meant to experience this fully and holy honey, and it's gonna hurt sometimes and it's gonna be uncomfortable. There's this little kind of secret that no one really talks about, and I love really kind of bringing it up. Is that our soulmate relationships are the ones that are going to challenge us the most to grow. They're not easy. It's not unicorns and rainbows and fun times. No, they make us grow. So that's really what it is. And that's kind of when I go back to thanking that person saying thank you reminding me of my life, thank you for reminding me my God center, and thank you for allowing me to grow. And now I've outgrown this and I bless your path just as I'm asking you to bless mine. You know, that's really what is the dynamic here. So you know, anybody can chime in on comment and say, well you should have done this, should have done that. You know them themselves are coming into this have not been through that because they would not judge it if they did. Does that make sense, you know, so it really comes. Everybody's going to have opinion, But anybody that has gone through the darkness to see the light will just hold the space, honey. That's what they do. They hold the space or a soft place for you to fall, let all the emotions out, and help you work through that emotion so you come out of the other side the version what you were born to be, which is light and love and to inspire and and just beat. That's all you need to do. Just be mm hmm. I like that. Do we do we see a happy ending at the end of all of this or one hundred and a bazillion percent percent? But I really would love you to reflect on and into it. Like I said, you have gods, you have loved ones that are here. Like that's that's great, that's all there. But that's not really what the focus. What why you and I are crossing paths again. The focus is to remind you that fullal here we are again, right, is that there you are receiving these messages and to trust it more and more and more and not to delay them. Is that you are connected to the same place I am. Everyone is, and it's it's trusting, not and that it may not be an alignment with what you think you want at the time, but that saying does go Sometimes God doesn't give us what we want, gives us what we need, okay, And that you needed to kind of go through all of this, and that you are going to be coming to that vibrational alignment with someone who has the same values, that wants those same things. And let me just put it this way. You know, you live a very public life. I mean, it's obvious. It's kind of like an emails. I'm like, are you sure you want to have this conversation? You know, I always give all my clients because you know, I've got a lot. I've got a lot of public, very high profile people that I talked with on a regular basis, you know, and I helped them through these sort of things. But the thing is, for me, not everybody likes it public and stuff do and it's just more of a personality thing. So I'm always double check. I'm like, are you sure this is what you want? You know, I just want to double check because things may come out that you may not be comfortable. So it's all good, and I think the wrongness and being authentic and This is most important part because you are helping and healing people through this. You know other people are listening right now, going, yes, this resonates. Yes, I understand that this is what I've wanted to achieve, This is what I wanted to forgive. This is how I need to remind myself when I'm kind of up against the wall and something like what would love do in this situation? People say, what would Jesus do? What? But what would love to love? Would find compassion, loveould find all these sort of things. So you come into this beautiful alignment with who you are and where you vibrate so that person gets there. And I think you hit it on the head when you said about your ax. You know he was dealing with his worthiness issues. A person that truly truly loves themselves and isn't a place of peace doesn't go and do things that would hurt the person that they're with. I don't believe that this was intentional at all. I believe this person is going through their own sufferings. So this is where we hold that space for that person and say I don't like that, but I can understand, and you need to get help. And this is how you need to get help, right. You know, I think we're so quick to point fingers at other people, saying you wronged me, I wronged you, You're bad, I'm good. Like we do this instead of really looking at the bigger picture to say, where do I need to be kind in this? Where do I need to find love in this? Where do I need to set my boundaries? But where do I need to hold that space for them? And sometimes holling that space is literally like cutting off the lifeline and just saying, here's here's some help, this is what you need to go do. But that's like you're going to move on from that. But here's my little intuitive hit, like this isn't done here. You know, you still have a journey with this person that isn't fully completed yet. You may be signing on the divorce paper, sunny, but it's it's not done. So there's still some growth here that's going to happen. And I think it's important that you do spend time internalizing and working with your God's center and your love center and all those things and rebuilding that relationship with yourself so you feel that strength to work through these next steps. But you will align as you go through that with a person that is connected to what you want, because the two of you didn't have the same wants in life, and that's what ended up happening, is that you both went on different paths. At one point you did okay that that again it's a soul mate relationship. But then it became to an end. And so it started due to the fork in the road and split and then we fight and then we hired them. We can't trust and we dislike and it just starts to get worse and worse and worse before it gets better. But I'm sure you felt that overwhelming sense of relief when it finally was done, Like you no longer felt like you had to walk in eggshells or you were fearful of something happening. It was like it was almost like a bittersweet moment, right, Does that make sense? Yeah, it's like something sets you free. Yep, Tara, I I so appreciate you. And where can our listeners? Um, where can they find you? Where can you help them give us all the info? Sure, you can go to Tarry Taylor dot c a Canadian candidate. So Terry Teler dot c A you can find me there, um you can find me. I don't spend a lot of time on social media. I'm just one of those I'm too busy doing sessions and those sort of things. But you can see me on Facebook. I don't go on there, but people tend to follow me on Instagram. I think it's Tara Taylor, Indigo or Intuitive or something like that. But if you go on my website you can see all that information and then soon you'll start seeing I'm kind of behind the scenes doing some writing projects um in Hollywood, so that would be very very exciting. Yeah. Yeah, So for me, it's about spreading love and how do we help that generation. We've got to do it in a way that teaching the new ways on how to work with her intuition. That's not so woe. Yeah, for sure. I love that. Well, Tara, thank you so much for coming on Wine Down. Appreciate it very very very much. God bless you, honey. You take care, You'll be just fine. Okay, thanks Tara, all right, by girl. My soul has been spoken to love. That's so good. But I am very excited to um have Devon Franklin on next. He's incredible and he's got a new book out called Live Free, So I'm excited to talk to him about everything and hopefully he can inspire us all. Be back in a sec Divine. Hey, I'm Janna. This is Katherine. What's going on? Hey good? How are you? Oh? My goodness? Like I cannot thank you enough for coming on this podcast, of course. No, no, you know. Amy reaches out and says, it's for y'all. I'm like, hey, I'm here. Can I just have some of that energy and like, personally, you're just so you're you're like your light is just you're just you're happy. Oh well, I try. Right now, I'm feeling a little scruffy. I'm in pre production on my next movie, so I'm like, man, I'm in it, but I'm like, you know what, it's cool. I'm just gonna come through however, I am. I'm glad the energy is right. Yeah, No, you're you're you have a great energy, very light. I like, it's it's im I need some of that right now. I'm going through just a real real bad, yucky divorce and it's just I just um any any and all like things that you can give me to just like get me up and feeling happy and positive, because feeling just like defeated and worried and anxious. What makes you feel the most defeated? Um? Sorry any time talking about my kids to get upset, just that I let my kids down. Mhm, you know, just like I mean, I guess, I you know, I've officially was the one that ended things. You know, I had to walk away because it wasn't right anymore. Um, it was, it was bad. But I think, you know, just growing up with expectations, and I know in your new book Live Free, like you talk about expectations, and so I had this expectation for myself and for my family, and now that I couldn't live up to that expectation and have that perfect family for them, I have a lot of guilt about that. I'm curious what you do with expectations and how you can kind of redirect my way of thinking. Yeah, I mean, you know, first of all, I mean it's I think it's courageous of you to be as transparent as you are and to be as in touch with how you're feeling. Um. I think also, you know, where did that idea you know, this is what perfection looks like? Where does that come from? Because if you look at it from the opposite, Okay, if I were to stay in something that was untrue, if I were to stay in something that is against who I am just for the image, what has that then project to your children? So the idea that you you are modeling, no matter what, no matter how the chips may fall, no matter how difficult, call put your truth as your light. That doesn't sound like defeat to me. That sounds like victory because you're displaying. Yo, this is difficult, it's hard. But again, and I don't know all the particulars alleged of decision, and no one needs to know those those particulars, um, but you know why you made the decision, and you know that it was a decision that you felt you needed to make, and so owning that and not and not trying to live up to because because I guess what, your kids don't have the expectation that you do. They just have an expectation of being loved, cared for. Heard, when they're hungry they want food. Hey, when I want some shoes, MoMA not needs some shoes. You know that. That's it. It's like hey, And so sometimes we come into a situation, um, you know, especially you know, you're a marriage, Like, here's what I wanted it to be, and this was my expectation of it and and the reality and the expectation. If we don't reckon sildbos too, it can be devastating. Um So I would just say specifically on this part of it, you know, just to not look at yourself and defeat. That's that's an energy that's not going to bring you anything. You know, you're courageous, you you you are victorious, you are are are a warrior for your truth and that no one can take it from you, and you shouldn't take it from yourself either, you know, to stand up and do what you're doing and to say what you're saying, and too, you know, finally say hey, you know, I gotta be respected. I gotta have boundaries, because boundaries are a sign of love. I love myself enough to know when certain bounties have been crossed and I've got to do the work to repair those boundaries by making a difficult choice that I believe will impact the rest of my life and my children's life in a positive way. So that's your truth, that's your path, and I would just encourage you to work on looking at it more from from an advantage point of victory, not defeat. Mhm, yeah like that. How do you like it? You know? Your book is called titled Live Free. What what is living free to you? Look like? Um? You know, living free to me looks like, Um, I get to control how I feel. I get to control how I live. I get to decide the expectations that I meet. Um, I don't give anyone the power to make me feel the way I don't want to feel. You know. So in the book I talk about the definition of living free is not being under the mental, emotional, or physical control of anyone or anything. That I am the keeper of my happiness. I am the keeper of my emotions. I am the keeper of my expectations. I'm the keeper of my desk. So that's what I say. That's what I mean by living free, like free to be who I am, not who people expect me to be, because that image is a prison. It's a prison because then I get into that prison. And I talked about this in the book, you know. I mean I grew up people call me Mr. Perfect and I thought that was a great thing. And if I got older, I said this is terrible as a prison because the persona then becomes the bars by which I had to live to because people have never expected to make a mistake. But I'm like, I'm human, I'm gonna make mistakes. So I first had of letting myself out of the prison. I'm like, yo, I'm not perfect. And then too, I had to not worry about how people perceive me so much, because that perception also creates a prison. You know, Okay, everybodys expecting you to be divone and what that means and and and all of that. It's like, well, no, yeah, I gotta be me, and in a certain moment, I might be a little different than what you think I am, but I can't allow your thought to be my thought about myself. That's freedom, that's freedom, and that's what I talked about in this book because so often we're not living free. So often most of the moves are made because of how it looks. What people are gonna say, what parents may say, what your friends may say, what they may say, and we always focus on what they say. What about what I say? M What about me taking more say over my life? And that's what this book is all about, Like taking the control back, taking the authority back, and finding that freedom because I, in my experience, I see so many people living for everybody else, doing what everybody else wants them to do. Over obligated, stressed out, not happy. Why Because they're trying to be everything to everybody and they're really being nothing to themselves. So when I talk about being living free, it's about saying, yeah, you know what, I'm committed to everyone else as well being, but I'm first committing committed to mine. Because if I don't take care of my well being, I can't take care of your well being. If I don't fill me up, I can't fill you up. I talk about this filled cups, field cups. So if I'm filled up, I got something to get. But if I'm not filled up, I can't give you anything. So this is the path to me about freeing. This is what it means. To live for you means like, what is keeping me back? What is keeping me captive emotionally, physically, mentally, And let me do everything I can to break out of that because my real piece, my happiness, my contentment, is in the freedom to be who are. I hear that, and I love that. I'm just curious if there's ever because I remember, you know, my my X and I we had wrote a book together and it was it was one of those things where I almost felt like we had to live up to this expectation, you know, even though it was, um, you know, I was fighting a good fight, like doing these things, but you know, um, I'm wonder for you, like, is that hard where it's like, you know, because you are you have all these different hats that you wear, and you you know, your motivational speaker, and you write you know, amazing book and it's like, do you ever sometimes feel like even in your relationship or you're just like like you almost feel like like I kind of felt like a well, I was a con artist after that book came out because I'm like it was real for me, but it wasn't for him. So it's just like, do you ever struggle with that? I know you have listen. It's so great that we can have that conversation. It's very few people then I talked to have co authored a book with their spouse, so it's like, okay. So so that part of it is like, you know, I've had to get to the place and we've had to get to the place where we don't let that book, that image become the prison by which we live. So you're right, there's no doubt the moment, you know. And when we wrote our book the way, you know, we just did it because that was our truth. You know, I'm like, hey, this is our true let's go talk about it. We were not fully cognizant of the expect pation that came with that. It was huge and it was an amazing book too, by the way. We got sent that book and it was it was incredible, but yeah, well there you go. So it was like, okay, yeah, we just wrote this book because you know, oh yeah, we should do it. We want to tell our story help others. The intent was great. The intended nothing to do with but we see everything to do with building people up. However, to your point, coming out of it in the book being so successful, at times, there has been this like oh, we gotta we gotta live up to that, and that created a lot of pressure for for her, it created a lot of pressure for me, and I think that, you know, just recently we were getting to the place where we are okay with being different than how we were when we wrote that book. We're okay with, you know, saying hey, we believe in what we wrote, but we don't. But we have our down days to you know what I mean, Like like people see that image on that cover and they're like, that's what I want, and that is and that is a trap because we're all fallible, we all fall short of the glory of God, we all make mistakes. And the intent for us and putting that image out there wasn't to say, hey, we want you all to aspire to this. No, we want you to aspire to your truth. And so we have personally we love the message and we'll continue to talk about the message, but we've had to also get to the place where we are okay with knowing that our journey is our journey. There are some moments in some days. Our truth is our truth, and we have really tried to resist the temptation to try to live up to what that image is. That was our truth, then this is our truth. Now we're on a journey. Every day, we're changing, we're growing, we're being But like, if I feel like I gotta show up and be like, hey, that's the way guys, like you know, I don't feel that I feel like, yeah, I'm gonna show up. It's divine to day, you know, and and hey let's go where it goes. But um, I I feel like, you know, very few people have been able to talk to you know, who've been able to who have had that experience of like there you are, your love is on the cover, and that love becomes the image. So I understand what you're saying, and it's something that we, uh, you know, that we just work to not allow to creep into our our marriage and become disrupted. What do you say to the people that are stuck that can't get out of you know, their depression or um, like I've given very vulnerable uh example, Like I I have a really hard time being alone and so you know, I've since my ex has moved out and I'm just alone in the house. Obviously my kids and you know are in bed, but um I just sit in my literally sit in my living room, and I'm like I don't even know what to do. Like I just feel like I was like I would love to like go do this or do that? Like how do I get myself to be like to unstick myself from from that kind of just like staring at the walls, like at my walls are just like dark and closing in. Okay, Um, you know what comes to mind is, um, this is gonna sound like a total tangent, but it's coming to your preach. So so what I was when I was younger, you know, I think I had to be Like in the third grade, I was over a friend of mine house after school, and uh, we were playing hide and go seek. There are a bunch of us, and so everybody went to go hide, and I was the one that was there waiting to go find everybody. So I count to ten and say, okay, all right, ready or not? Here I come and I run and um, I run into something. I'm not quite sure what it is, but I feel it I'm and I said, oh, it's okay. And I tried to keep going to find the people that were hide and my friends that were hiding. And I realized, oh man, I couldn't move. You know something, I really hit something. And so I looked down at my left knee and cut wide open. And I realized that I had run past the flower bed and there was a piece of wood sticking out and it literally sliced my knee wide open. Yeah, and I couldn't and I couldn't when I go when I went to move it literally blood just poured out of it. So I had to call for help. They came, they said, oh my goodness, They wrapped my knee up, They called my mother, They rested me to the hospital get emergency surgery, and I was in I was in the hospital for a number of days, and then it was in the past for a couple of weeks. The reason why I shared that, Sorry, I don't mean to be morbid, but I share that because when you talk about, you know, being alone or not staring at the walls, I think you have to acknowledge the level of of of of pain and trauma and hurt that you have that you're coming through. So the expectation of just getting back into life and getting things going. It's like you're hurt and it's okay, Like it's so like. I think part of it is maybe like you know, saying to yourself in those moments, it's okay, m um, right where I need to be, It's all right, you know, without any sort of pressure or feeling like, oh man, I need to be doing this or I don't want to do that. It's like you're resetting your entire life and that's just gonna take some time. And sometimes those quiet moments are the most powerful moments because you're gonna get revelation and downloads on what to do and how to do and and maybe even things that okay to here some tweaks that you want to make. So I would just encourage you to embrace the discocomfort. Embrace it. There may be times you in your place by yourself, the kids are going you scream, scream, Embrace it. Embrace it because when you think about what's happening, and you know, and again from what you're sharing, is like there's like a it's like a rebirth. You know, it's a rebirth. There's a rebuilding. And in order for anything to be reborn, whatever it was has to die. When you think about the caterpillar, it goes into that cocoon. That cocoon looks like death, but it's actually the vehicle for life because it's changing. That cocoon is changing. It's not dying. You can feel like it. It's tight, it's dark, it's it's it's it's it's it's damp, you know, but it's being transformed. So that's when you think about, you know, that isolation. It's like, yo, you are being transformed. The world has not even yet seen the light and the love, and the and and the power with which you will come forth out of all of this. So that's not an easy answer to your question. Um, but I would just resist the temptation to push through those uncomfortable moments because they're really going to be some of the most valuable moments I think in this journey that you're on, Von, You're just speaking to my soul right now. I just I love you. Where can our listeners find everything that you do, especially the cute little book that you and your wife were out, because that's the picture for a big book. Oh man, we'll get the new book. They get that, but we'll get a living, get a living free, you know. Um. Yeah, you find me on my website Davon Franklin dot com. I'm on Instagram at Davon Franklin, same with Twitter and Facebook. Well, Devon, thank you so much for coming on. I appreciate it more than you know. And yeah, I just I really appreciate it and I'm excited to read live. I can't wait for you to read it order now you neednything? Thank you let me know. Okay, awesome, thanks to Von. Appreciated. I mean, come on, I love him love I just want like a you know what I want. I wanted daily affirmations from Devon. That's what I need him to do, daily Devon affirmations. Can I tell you what I was thinking about a lot of the time he was talking the day I don't know how many days after, And I told you that I was excited. Remember what I told you. I was excited and you looked at me and You're like excited, and I was like, yes, I'm excited for you. It's that, it's everything that he said, like a change is coming, and it's and you know it's going to come at some point. You're just in the middle of it. But I'm so excited. I'm about to be a damn butterfly mark the world. I'm about to find my little butterfly arms out. I'm with Catherine. I think it's it's exciting. It really is, because this next chapter was inevitable and now it can finally begin. Amen what he said, Yeah, I'm excited to fly. I'm shedding right now, shedding. And then I'm gonna spread my wings and then everybody is gonna just you know, uh yeah, well it'll be a good how do I say it? Um? Oh, thank everyone while I'm like flying up in this guy. Thanks, I love you. You were right. I'm sorry to do a twitter oh man. Well, great show guys, and um see you next week

Whine Down with Jana Kramer

At the end of a long day, nothing is better than winding down and decompressing with a good friend,  
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