Ep. 20 What's in a (Last) Name?

Published Sep 24, 2018, 7:50 AM

Samantha Harris from Dancing with the Stars stops by the studio to Whine Down with Jana, and to share some stories from her incredible journey with cancer. She has some tips that are as simple as changing your laundry detergent that might help save your life from cancer. And Jana's friend Julie Solomon is hanging out too. You've got to hear the story of how they became friends, because it's one of the most unusual and unlikely friendships out there. Then, Jana and Mike talk about what happens to the last name when a couple gets divorced. Does someone have to change their name back? Can you get a name in a divorce??

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Wine Down with Janna Kramer and I Heart Radio Plae. We got some harmonies on that one. This is going to be a really fun one. I'm excited because there's gonna be some really juicy stories we're going to tell in this show. So I've got one of my dearest besties here, Julie Solomon. Give it up for Julie, and then of course, um, Jen and Michael Hello, and just one little Jenna takes it for granted. Jen, take you guys for granted at all? At all? Apause, I'm sorry because you guys are just yeah, you're the rags, and Julie is like, she's my guest, you know, our guest, and you're the guest of honor. So, um, do you want to because I feel like we walked into like something and you wanted to share it on air. I have no idea what you want to share, but do you want to talk about it? Yeah? Right now, right now? I mean what I said to you, as I said, are you sure you want to share it on air? Yeah? I'm you know, because it has to do with divorce, it does. It has to do with divorce. I had my last mediation appoint appointment. I guess you'd call it with him or with him and the mediator. You didn't go through a lawyer. You you guys wanted to sit down media use the mediator, which I think was a great experience. Why why that versus lawyer lawyer? Because the clause didn't come out. It's all about communicating and having somebody there to mediate. You know, it will have lawyers if that happens to Michael, I don't want to talk to you once again, my pessimistic wife. Prepare for the worst. It listened mediation the way every you know, when it was mediation day the night before, I'd be like, oh god, I have to go in there. And you know, if you don't want to look back to the mediator, right, you kind of want to be No, No, It's okay, you could have the lake house, right, It's like here you go. What else can I give you? Anyways, So we are wrapping it up and we're actually signing the deals. I'm calling them deals, So like, this is what you get, this is what you get, This is all the time I get with Rocco. These are the days. Got a six year old boy named Rocco too. So, and what did you do for holidays. Sorry, we switch. Easter is very important to him and his family, so you know that's something that he gets. Um, I always get Halloween. Um, that's written in and every other holiday just give you got it. And then we switch back and forth for you know, the holidays, Christmas and every other year. Or We've been really flexible with each other when it comes to holidays anyways. You know, if he really wants them for Thanksgiving because his family has something going on, I'm okay with that. You know, we we communicate really well when it comes to Rocko and then we have no communication other than that, which is ven. That's good. So we're wrapping up and he says, oh, I have one more thing that I would like to put into the paperwork. And I'm like, is the mediation one session? About five and then you have like a financial mediation to like, that's all part of it, that's all part of it. So I'm like, what is he? What's he? What's he going to ask for? Everything has been done, like the house has done, like everything go. So I would like to put it in the paperwork that she has to switch her name back. What I want her? I want my name back? Oh, so you have to go back to your maiden name, right, But you can't do that. So I started laughing because it just made me. I was like, well that's interesting. I was like, am I this is real? I'm not dreaming right, This isn't like it's interesting. What was his intention of? Well, he doesn't think I deserved the last name, you know, like the whatever perks he thinks might come along with it. I'm not sure you can't claim to be me right. But the thing is is I number one, have a son with the last name, and I would like to keep the last name because it makes things more cohesive and it's easier when it comes to school or travel or medical whatever. I agree with that. Can you then say, well, let can we change Rocco's last name? Yes, that's what I would say. I said that, and I also said I have established a career over the last eighteen years under this name, and for me to go back to my baby there are you know, it's just not the easy. It's such a pain to change your name too. Even if you want to change it on your words, you're gonna have to sit in your door. Can you imagine? Also, my license as a psychologist I'm under you know that last name. There's so many levels of you know that I would have to change so much it would take what did he say when you said the Rocco thing changing nothing less? He didn't even acknowledge that. Well, I would push for that if anything. Well, then he said, she said, well, you have no control over the mediator said that, yeah, if somebody changes their name or not. And he said, well what if I sue her drop the last name? And she said, I have no idea. I've been working in family court for twenty five years as an attorney. I've never had this question. Wow, but what what would be the grounds of suing? I don't know. He doesn't own the last name, right, he can't everybody. Yeah, but they're not legally mary It anymore. Her name is legally but they're not legally married. That has nothing to do with her now, because the name is not attached to the merrit you have. But that doesn't make sense to me. So I'm doing Devil's advocates all this. So it doesn't make sense that it's two separate things. Like when you go to a marriage, you have a license and paperwork for that. When you go to change your name, whether you ever become married to someone or not. Like if I wanted to go and change my name to something tomorrow, I would have to go and file certain paperwork and get a certain license for that name. Those are two completely separate things. Just because they happen to have the same last name because they were married, has no contingency on But shouldn't it though, No, Why I don't think so, because it's there's no there's no ownership, there's no intellectual guy. I'm just asking questions. We just think about, think about. Think about the couples that the female doesn't change her name like that, that doesn't mean they're not married because you don't change. My last name is Solomon legally, legally you didn't change it to Check. No, because you never change never. Never. It's such a pain. I didn't want to do it. Now when I have a email that is check and when I go to any kind of preschool related things with Camden, I just say my name is Julie Check but legally on my driver's license it is Solomon. But what about like her, you know, in her defense, and she's like when we go to the hospital and stuff, when they show that thing well you're not. Your last name is not Check. So are you really the parent? Yeah, that's never been a problem. Like when I go to the airport, it says Julie Solomon and then he's Camden Checked and and you you do you don't mind being a different last name than your son. I've been married before Jonathan, and it was such a pain to go through that process. Like I feel your pain with that, to go through the process of changing a name. I just said, like, legally, I'll never do that again. And now I've established you know, I have a business just everything that you I say when you establish yourself with a certain name. But um, yeah, I just I don't see there's no money, like there's no intellectual property or any kind of it's that tra monetary. Yeah, I don't understand what his other than just kind of like sounding spiteful. I don't really understand his point. I mean, I will say, I mean that's hard. But because so my mom, you know, she's you know, she's always been Cramer and she was married to my father for twenty years, but she's also been But I'm like, Mom, why didn't you ever go back to Kaufman. She's like, because Kramer is who is my name? It's the last name. You guys are Kramers. And I'm like, yeah, but you're so. I never I didn't understand why she didn't go back to her maiden name, because I would run back to my maiden name. Not like no offense, but like they can't pronounce your last name. So that's why I use Kramer. Why my name too, no one can say or pronounced check. Yeah, it's I mean, so annoying. And then also with his cousin, like c A U S S as in Sam I N. And we check into this place this last weekend, is it coffin, I'm like, this is what your last name? Ever for the rest of the weekend, I was, hey, Mr Kramer, but I mean because legally, yes, I am cousin. And again I would want and if we here's the pessimist, if we were to get divorced, you know I would then maybe that's Julie to change it to Cramer. There's a lot of traditional elements that go with Julie. Yeah, but she traditionally the child the name of the father. Traditionally, traditionally the wife takes the name. Is traditional in this day exactly like when my mom divorced my dad, she kept Solomon until she got remarried. The reason why she didn't go back to her maiden name when she was like, I've been a Solomon since I was nineteen years old. I have two kids that are like and so by me consciously making this decision to not do that before I had a child, I was able to kind of keep it that way. If I would have had a child with a married name, I would I would keep the married name. I would want to keep them keep it. I'm never changing my name again. So if he if he sues you, you say, bring it on and bringing up the gradually laugh at him like what is like what the legal name? Okay, yeah, so what if he remarried and your future husband it was really important to him that you took his name, would that be something you'd even consider? It would be a long conversation. I'm really not in the headspace to change my name. Ever, I wouldn't be able to for career reasons. Well, for career reasons, you can like so like, I'm always going to be Kramer, I'll never be Janna casson career, Like, I'm not going to change it. To Cosson girl, and you know what I mean, girl, I will always be you know, Crammer girl, like Jane Kramer is my like, so you can always go by. But legally you could change your name back, but you can still go by That's true. I guess I could. So that's still your work. That's name. That's the painful part. That's so much easier like everything, Yeah, like bank account, but it's really I mean it's yes and no, I mean the only thing that I'm costing, I mean yes legally and then for flights and stuff like that, and yes, that was it's always a change pain to change it. But again, you know, I still go by Kramer for so many things that I'm known as Kramer. And that's the only thing that really bothers you is when you get called Mr Kramer. Yeah, which was early in our relationship. And now I'm more you know, a lot more stable in my own world that and comfortable that I'm like, all right, whatever, just embrace it like I'm Mr Kramer. But I mean, but honestly, that was important to me when Jane and I first got together and we got married, was like I understood that the whole stage name aspect, But for me, it was important debate not changing because I had gone through the name change again with your husband, which we'll get too later, so oh my god, oh yes, we'll get there later. But I mean, I get I had to change. It's like and that was when we were only married for like a week, but I mean it's still It's such an annoying process to have to change your name, and I'm like, God, like to do that again. It's do you know, do I want to go through that hass again, because you're right, even just with the freaking changing airline number. Yes, I've thought about if my husband's last name was easy to stay and spell, like maybe one of these days, Yeah, then I would like go through the process if it mattered to him and matter to my son. But he doesn't care. They don't care. But you cared. Yeah, I cared, And that was just something for me. I was like, you can be Jane Kramer on stage all you want, but legally, I would love for paper for us, for us and our children to have the same last name. That was very important for me. Did you ever consider becoming Michael Kramer? I asked, I asked, Donna did that with her with her husband, and I said, now there you go, good for him and whatever. Hale um. Well, but again, like why is that though? I mean, I understand your grandpa carrying on his lineage. Yeah, And that's the thing. I was the only cost in mail for so long, grant I had my little brother. But it's up to my brother and I to keep the costs in name alive. But who really cares? It's just a name. Well, now you can change it. You'll have it now with your son, right, But again, it's just a name. Why does it really matter? Because for a lot especially as super traditional, but that's like your legacy, like for a lot of for a lot of old traditional people, that's like your legacy, your name. That the name means a lot to a lot of people. But why why do we put so much value on a last name? Because it's when you think about a last name, you think about it. I'm not saying, I'm just you have thoughts of maybe that family, have thoughts of those people, like oh, when you think of Creamer, you think of these attributes or these I don't, but I mean not really like the Kaufman Craamer, Like both sides of my family whether it's Rinaldi, Like, I don't think there Rinaldi's You know, my aunt siusan uncle were any less a part of my family because they have a different last name. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that at all. It's just for some people, very traditional thinking is that there's something to a name, and they take a lot of pride in that. Well, I'm just curious how it's gonna change here, Yeah, in my situation, because she's like, can you bring it back to my situation? No, no, No, that's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is I understand the traditional because that's really what it's coming down to right here, because it's an ethnic family, right, layers and layers and layers of tradition when it comes to names, everything is about the name. And I get that. But because society is changing so much, and I understand your grandpa Cosson, I understand that, but I also why change your name, Janna? Because he made me I really truly didn't want to yeah for courthouse and said sign this. Yeah, I mean I I truly because I'm like, in this generation, who cares if I'm a Cramer Cosson check this that whatever, Like why can't I just be Janna? Like what, why does it really truly matter in this day and age. Again, I'm not shame people that change their name, just that disclaimer disclaimer, but again I do I do understand generationally, but now that things are changing, I'm curious to see if that's going to change to her. People don't change their last name. Yeah, I see more and more people not doing it in our generation than the generations before. But having said that, I did debate his sister because his sister is talking about not taking her maybe soon to be husband's last name, and I was like, for me, I do want the same last name as my child, So I would have encouraged her to be a Cramer or whatever. But again, I'd like it to be my last name. And as far as everyone knows at school, I have the same last name as my child, right, but the doctors and the health insurance companies and the airlines know that. I would be interested to see if if there is a situation where like maybe in your situation and you really wanted Rocco to take your last name, Like where if in the judicial system, if judges are just very traditional to and like, no, that's just not happened. That's not what we do. But with the change of times, maybe there is a judge that you can make a point for your child to have take the mother's maiden name, which would be really weird. Why because it hasn't been done. That's the only reason it hasn't been done. Okay, maybe have not been done, but I'm not I'm just saying it feels weird because it hasn't been done yet I'm sure it will. So I'm a total chicken when it comes to being home alone, which is why I'm so happy that I finally sponsored up with a d T. But what I love and why I feel safe in my house now is because I have a d T. So a t T can design and install a smart home just for you. It's back by seven protection. And for me that's huge because when my husband's gone and I'm home alone, it's just me and my little girl, and I want to make sure that we are safe and obviously soon to be another boy or as soon to be a boy on the way, so I just want to make sure that our house is protected, we are protected, and that I can sleep for the night and knowing everything is good and even when I'm not home, so if I forget to close the garage door or if I forget to lock the doors, things like that, or the thermostat. Those are also things that you can set up customization wise with a d T, which is fantastic. So a d T will set up your home with multiple smart home devices again, which is so so so great. So visit a DT dot com slash smart to learn more about how a d T can design and install a secure smart home just for you feel safe, just like I do. Well, you know what, I'm really excited because we have Samantha Harrison Studio. Hello. Hello, Hello, this is the most fun room ever. That's why it took me to write a freaking book to come on. And I was it was so funny because you instagram me said you're excited to meet me, and sometimes I don't know if it's someone else to know you have the check mark. But then I wrote you back and I was like, I'm so excited to meet you too, but no, I'm very genuinely like I I've loved you forever. I think you're an incredible host. What you do is fantastic. You're beautiful. You're so sweet and I'm just I was pumped to have you in studio. Well, I'm excited to be here. Congratulations on your second baby. So gorgeous. I mean, seriously, like the most beautiful pregnant girl. Never I hate her just a little bit. No, guys, tell me a little bit more. Um, Okay, I want to get to your book, but I also I want to talk about Can we talk about cancer? We can talk about Yes, that's that was the impetus for the book. So yes, how did you find out? So I was about to turn forty, more fit and healthier than I ever had been at the time, or so I thought. And I thought, you know, when you turn forty supposed to get a jump on that mammogram things. So let's, you know, set it up. They're staying thirty five now though, right, you know there everything changes because really it comes down sadly to your insurance and and there might be recommendations out there, but it comes down to your doctor and your insurance. So that's a topic for another day. But in my mind, it was forty set the baseline. I'm healthy. Let's get it while I'm healthy, right, And this is how many years ago. This was and a half years ago, forty later this year, and I'm very happy for every new year that I get to churn um and you know, and I set the baseline because my grandmother was a thirty year survivor post menopausal breast cancer, which has no connection to mine. My dad died of colin cancer at fifty um, and so cancer had been in my family. And I thought, I've got three and a six year old at home. Hey, let's let's do this. Had a clear mammogram. It's exactly what I thought it would be clear. Eleven days later, while I was changing after a workout class, I found a lump on the interior of my right breast And how did you or just kind of like one of those because I don't ever feel my boy, you don't don't either, all right, this is my if you take every now and then, yeah, Michael, really, Michael, sometimes it's about the men in your life. I can take that a lot of pressure on you and feeling them right now. Actually, okay, well look I think I think, you know, breastfeeding really helped me become comfortable with touching my bro and um, not just in the intimacy of my relationship. But you know, really, when you guys take off your bra after a long day, you aren't like a circle to the right circle to love. Move these things around like now I just get into bed and pass out. I mean, all right, well if you don't, my public service announcement is get in touch with your girls. Don't be afraid to fondle, feel touch. You need to know your body, not just your breast, but every part of it better than anyone else. And you can't rely on doctors to know your body because guess what, they see a lot of patients. So but okay, so anyways, you were taking your sports bra off. You found a lump in your right your right breas. Yeah. You know, I've been so compressed with the compression of a sports bra that I was like, oh, let's move these around. What the wait a second, what is that? Well, that's weird. That has not been there before. You just had a clear eleven days prior, had a clear mammogram. So you know, I figured, you know what, I'm going to be vigilant. I'm gonna call my O be with ju I n she you know, she's been touching my boobs since I was in my early twenties. Let's let's get her on this. She felt around and quick clinical exam said, honey, I'm not worried about it. She's really always been a non alarmist. She delivered both my kids, and I trusted my O. B. G. Y and more than any other doctor that I've ever had, because I don't want to go there. It's not I mean, well I know. So I left her soon after that um and she sent me on my way. And then a month later, that same lump was there, and I thought, you know, I better get a second opinion, so I went to this is my mistake. I went to see my intern is now you you need to go to the doctor. In turnus are kind of they're more there. No no, no no. An internet is your general practitioner, right, your your main your main doc when you have a cold, when you need to go for your annual well check up. So I went to see him and he did the same thing, quick, feel around, looks good if your word, will keep an eye on it, sent me on my way, and four months later and it was four months later only on top of it, well, you know it's creal when you get especially as a as a Mom, you're juggling so much, and so for me, the reason I jumped from two months to four months before I finally went to see a surgical oncologist was because it was the holidays and it was birth, youngest, third birth that like, it was just so much was going on. You forget you put yourself at the lowest end of the totem pole and our health. If we're not taking care of our own health, we're not going to be around to take care of those we are meant to take care of. So self care, which is a really big part of my book, Your Healthiest Healthy, And I know we're going to talk about the book in a little bit, but self care is so essential and I think that sometimes we feel as women guilty to care for ourselves. Um, but I so you went. So I went to see a surgical oncologist. I saw um, both her and one of her partners. I had to ultrasounds, a needle biopsy than a subsequent m r I. And the crazy thing was that nothing detected cants? What what? And that is a story that I keep hearing as I tell mine, more and more women say that happened to me too. So then how did you find well, thankfully, because of the needle biopsy, it came back. She walked in the room and said, okay, have the results of the new needle biopsy. The pathology said good news and bad news. The good news is it's not cancer, but it was. The bad news is I don't know what it is, so you know what, it's a collection of irregular cells. Let's just take it out. So I had a lumpecto me and and this is where you really do want to go to a doctor m who you feel is a really really good in their field and someone who's done this time and time and time again. And she looks at breast every day. She knows what she's looking for. And when she was in there for the surgery, she ended up taking out which she at the time thought looked like a little bit of extra healthy tissue, but she just wanted to sample it. So not only do we find that I had ductal car sonoma in sight too, which is me breast cancer that is contained within the milk duct and thankfully not smart enough to get out of it. So it had been that, and only that that would have been end a story done. No worries like had a lumpectomy, go on about my life. But that little tissue sample she took was invasive, which went to got smart. It got out of the doctor pat's read and they said, oh, we caught it so early, had a double mess. Back to me, actually had gone to a lymph node. So all of a sudden, my stage one early caught it when stage two. So the bottom line here is you have to be an advocate for your own health. You have to take care of yourself. Well that's so hard though when you have three doctors essentially been like, no, nothing's wrong, You're fine. Just a lump, just a lump, right. Well, and again, thankfully the surgical on collegist, who is the specialist in the field at least listen to her own gut as a specialist, and she says, she saved you. I saved my life by getting to her, and she saved my life by going in and sampling something that she thought wasn't necessarily dangerous. UM. And then I waited, you know, do I want another lumpectomy with radiation for six weeks or do I want to have a double single or double mess decktomy? And it is such a personal decision. Um, anyone out there who's living with a new, you know, new diagnosis of breast cancer, you really have to learn all you can, weigh all of your options and figure out what is best for you and for me. I don't want to be looking over my shoulder every day, so I wanted a double mess deck to me my breast. Thank goodness, we're able to take me through my twenties with enjoyment, feed my kids and give them the nutrition through breastfeeding that they needed. And they did the job they did and I needed to do. And um, did you end up getting? And I had reconstruction? Reconstruction? Did um? And you know they're pros and cons about that as well, but um, you know everything looks great and clothes, so there you go. Is that something else did you I'm not going to make it any time soon, No, but it was something where I mean, hopefully your husband made you feel beautiful? Yes, yes, and you know, and that was even something that was you know, challenging, and I actually I go into it in the book about the intimacy and how a surgery like that changes you and and as a woman, I had to come to terms with my breast or not my womanhood, did you start to feel like you weren't a woman. It affected my psyche with my sexuality for a while, and my husband probably didn't start fondling them again for a good year, mostly because he was worried he was going to hurt me. I mean it was I was blooded and bandage and bruised for a very long time, and I had the mistake to me with the first stage of reconstruction, and then three months later I had the second stage of reconstruction where they take out the sizers and then they put in the permanent implants, which meant I was, you know, bedridden, um for three weeks without getting both surgeries, without being able to get out except for to use the restroom and um, you know, and then for six weeks each surgery you had to really take it easy and not lift your arms up above your head or anything. So, you know, it took a lot of time, and he was so incredibly caring and everything you would hope a partner would be throughout the process. But it definitely messes with your your psyche regarding your sexuality and and I'm grateful for um that you know what we honestly we found. We found ways to be physical that were new, and in some ways it was sort of a gift because you have to explore things that maybe you didn't realize. He's like, yeah, let's explore lots of things that we can explore. It worked out, I guess. Uh so it was. It was definitely an eye opener um for sure. Wow. And so that's what encouraged you to write your book. Not the sexuality is not healthy? So you know, here I was, I thought it was so healthy, and I was blindsided by a breast cancer diagnosis. And uh, you know, even though I was blindsided, the diagnosis didn't devour me. Instead, it really ignited in me. This this compelled me to want to become the healthiest version of myself. And then once I started to gather the information, it was so eye opening. And then I want to be able to share it with others because your Healthiest Healthy is really the guide that I wish someone so much had given me when I had been diagnosed, or ideally before I've been diagnosed, because maybe I wouldn't have been diagnosed. So what's the what's the what's the key points and of your Healthiest Healthy for your book? So first, all changes in small steps, because it can be very overwhelming to make any changes in your daily life, whether it's with your diet or with your your friendships. Because there this is about very much of getting the toxins out of your life. And it's not just food, it's it's correct right. So it's it's um it's eight chapters, and it's eight easy ways to take control help prevent and fight cancer and of a longer, cleaner, happier life. And the steps that you make to ideally prevent cancer are the same changes in your life that also help to mitigate your your chances of heart disease and type to diabetes and obesity that leads to so many other autoimmune disorders. So what I found when I leaned into my journals and background was that researching and speaking to experts and reading everything I could get my hands on, it became so clear to me that it's what you put in on and around your body and around meaning not just the cleaning products, but the people. So this so the book is really that guide taking you through you know, how should we eat, How how do we should we approach exercise? How do we get the toxins out of our beauty? Bag. I mean, we're all, you know, lovely ladies here who slap it on every day with the makeup and the eyes and the thing. Right, Um, so how do we get the top at least minimize the amount of toxins that are in our lives? Um? My kids are you know? They still crawl around on the frigum Like you're a live and you don't need to be crawling on the floor. She's still crawling on the floor. So I want my floors to be clean with things that aren't going to endanger her or my you know, or my other daughter who's crazy. She's been more off boncing off the walls, so I guess I have to clean the walls to. How do you feel about dryer sheets? Uh, don't use them like like I used to. Those are one of those are one of the I know, and I do. I do miss three of them. So there are there are the good things. There are alternatives I know I did like there there are parts. There are things in my old life that I sometimes when I think, I haven't thought about dryer sheets in a while, but I do miss that fresh out of the dryer smell. I guess what gives it that smell fragrance, and what's in fragrance, Well, guess what. They don't have to tell us because it's protected. So all of the toxins that are going in to make that lovely smell, they don't have to The people manufacturers don't have to reveal that even if they put the ingredients list on fragrance like cologne, perfume, essential oils are a much safer way to go for your body. But isn't it isn't like this isn't something always is going to cause this always, and we can all throw up our hands and go, you know what, someone's gonna get me. And that's in that's the way that you choose to take control of your life. That's okay. I want to give people an opportunity to understand. Once you to understand what is out there, and it is eye opening and sometimes it's a little scary, because obviously that's the reason they say ignorance is bliss. But at least once you know, then you can say, okay, I can deal with parting with red meat, or I can make sure to minimize it and choose grass fed instead. Um I can their makeup. I have not still not found a great waterproof makeup that is toxin free. So I still use the drug store brands that I love, but I know that the rest of my entire makeup routine is clean. So so you find that balance and what works for you. But if you don't have the knowledge, then you can't make those changes. Doesn't that stress you out more? Though? Like I start to think about it, and like, I feel like we're talking about sexually, Julie. Remember our girlfriend we were talking about deodorant and I was like, I don't want to wear like I like secret because I saw a lot and then I stink and they're like, well get they like call me up. I'm like, but then that smell, then you stink. How do you feel about what was going to be? I use a La Vanilla now, which is a clean one because my whole thing is like okay, but what's more annoying breast cancer are stinking rights? Then needs say like everything. People are like, oh, everything causes like this or that or whatever, and it's like then it's like you're more stressful to try to cut everything out. To me, I feel like I feel like change comes from action, not thought. So even if we're thinking, okay, well, everything can cause cancer. Okay, so what am I going to do about that? Am I just going to be like, okay, well, I'm just not gonna do anything and cancer them come get me? Or am I going to take action to with as much as I can without overwhelming with myself, without overstressing myself, without putting myself in this glass castle where no one can touch me like there. I think there has to be a healthy balance and moderation of like what can I do? That's simple, just a little pivots, little especially something you're putting on your body, because it goes right right there, right and and that's actually with your healthiest healthy. That was one of the first things that I changed was my deodoran because um, I use one called Crystal Essence. There's also one called stink Stop. Um there, here's the deal. Your body. Your body needs to sweat. And I am a so I am a and I stink. Well, you don't have to stink, but you do. You do have to sweat because guess what your body needs you to sweat and by clogging up your like and I hate sweating, and I am like literally turning on it's like turning the thing like I will like, I will vomit like, so you don't just smell but do. But here here's why, because I think about it. If you're I mean, you don't really just isolate right now, the idea of deodorant. When you're stopping the sweating, you're hanging on to all the toxins that are in your body. Your body is not able to let it out. So why does it cause breast cancer? Well, it may or may not. That the various studies negated, other studies supported it could be, though not necessarily, that the chemical the aluminium which is what people which is what stops the sweat, and people for a long time thought, well it's the aluminum that is keeping people from sweating, and then and then that's what's getting into the ducks and causing the breast cancer. There there hasn't been proof about that. Actually I talked about in the book that that's what it is. But what I'm also starting to understand is it could be that it's stopping your body from sweating, which is a lot, you know, disallowing the the toxins from exiting your your body as I need something else that you know, that's it. First all, it's a really easy swap. You won't smell, you will sweat, um, but the other things even in your bag, and just apply it like I apply the videodorant that I use twice a day. Right, perfect, It's easy and I think it's vanilla. It's not not promoted by them or but they have you know, it's It's just clean and easy and well here's an easy one for you to make a switch. Totally easy. Um, since we're talking about breat we might as well talk about vaginas you happy about. This is good topics, alright. Um, so tampons, tampons add your your lady bits. The skin there is so thin that it's incredibly permeable. So if what you're putting in and you know near and up it are have toxins in them. We talked about low Lola on the show. Do you love the product? And I mean the tons of Rayal is a great brand natural care? Uh you? Seventh Generation even makes basically want to look for pure cotton, organic cotton and um and something I actually discovered two and this is better for the people who have already had kids. But the menstrual cups, I can't do that. I can't either that's what I thought, part time best friend, I'm afraid it's so. It's a silicone medical grade silicone cup um that you kind of bend and fold so it's small enough to kind of get all up in there um and then it collects your mensies. It's kind of discussing and I look like a Jackson poll spotter painting when I took it out the first time. Difference between I mean, like a pad. If someone wears a padre can't like it's not absorbed as well as the cup. Let's neat about the cup? Is that? And again I only use it when I'm going to be around the house or at night when there's going to be heavily heavy flow. And you're like, oh great, you know, no matter what I add for pads or whatever, I want to sleep in a tampon. That's not good. So it's it's helpful for just excess flow um. But also it's nice because it costs nothing off do you buy it, there's no upkeep sides, wash and reuse. Make sure you wash it really well and really hot water so be preferable, so be non toxic. Just all right, I got real, you know, we got really personal we don't really deep into like the part of your health. It's part of our bodies. I mean, yeah, it's true. And then for eating organic too, I mean, I know I try to have organic stuff in the house, but I've also been told that some organic stuff is bad too for kids. Well, if you're talking about a packaged good that says or annic, now you you have to read the label. And I break down in the book all about how to read a label and what's important, because I think a lot of people look at an ingredients label for food and they look at the calories and the fat, maybe the sodium, the doctor said, they go to watch that, um, but there's so much more to understand, Like and I'm sure you know a lot of people in this room know this, but maybe some some people don't that you know, the ingredients when they're listed, are listed from the most used ingredient to the least maybe in trace amounts. Right, So sugar is something that you really want to weed out of your diet as much as possible, But the manufacturers are very tricky, so they'll use four or five different things that are sugar, meltodextrin, su c rows cane, syrup, regular sugar UM. And when people are only looking for the word sugar, sugar might be the seventeen thing on the list, but the other types of sugars will be the third, and then the seventh, and then the and so you you have to be a little bit more aware. You can be more aware once you have the knowledge. But the question about organics, where it's really important is with your produce. So when you're buying fruits and vegetables um, And obviously some people say, well, but the organic fruit vegetables are just so darn expensive. There's a great list of its cancer UM. But but there's a website called Environmental Working Group. Do you guys know about the site. It's a great site. It's e w G dot org. I have no affiliation with them other than they are like my go to when I want to find out about chemicals that are in different beauty products or cleaning products. But also they put out a list every year of the most heavily um pesticide used vegetables and fruits. And they call one list the dirty dozen and the other the clean fifteen. And so basically they have a list all the way from number one to maybe a hundred, but the bottom fifteen are the cleanest. So if you shop with that list and say, okay, the dirty doesn't apples, strawberries, grapes, the list goes on, okay, those are the things then you want to spend your money on for organic, and then go, okay, but you know what, the avocados and the asparagus, I can get that, but tomatoes, make sure I get them organic. So you have that knowledge of which ones need to be. So same with your pasta sauces and your ketchups. For your kids, I mean they catch up on everything and meat, mostly organic everything. I always do meet organic, I D and ten percent. And you know, thankfully for those who live in cities with a Costco or even a Target, both of those bigger Walmart are starting to carry more and more organic goods. So I have a smoothie every morning, and so does my husband, and actually know the kids are more. It's really exciting. But we buy these humongous bags of frozen organic strawberries and blueberries and whatever else, and we use them every day and it's fantastic, and so that's a much better price than it used to be. So where can our listeners find your book, Your Healthiest Healthy. They can order it starting now on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and really anywhere that books are sold. Amazing. So man, the Harris Your Healthiest Healthy. Um, I'm We're so glad that you are a cancer free and you're living your healthiest healthy. Thank you so much for coming in. Thank you. Know, we talked about about communicating through Instagram, and I'm just starting to use Instagram more and more and I put a lot of tips also on my site on my Instagram. What's your Instagram handle at? Samantha Harris is TV TV. Okay, awesome. I couldn't get the ray itself. She's she's so sweet, She's so vibrant and so full of life, which I absolutely love. But that's so scary to hear that she went that many times and still that's terrifying to like, how do you trust doctors? Like nothing against some, but it's like when you take your kids to the doctor. Now it's like, okay, you trust your doctor, Yeah, trust your gut. You have to trust your gut, yeah, I mean absolutely, But I mean even like when I went in this is not even close to the same example, but what when I went in from my hernia check. I went in and saw just the regular um it was like the nurse practitioner and she's like, oh, no, it's nothing, it's just the pressure from whatever. And then I go to the next doctors like, oh, that's a hernia and I'm like, well, why why where's the like why is not the same? Why didn't she say that? Because if not, I wouldn't have known and then had someone else But you knew something was off, Like you knew it, and you're a guy, like right, but I could have But anyone could just listen to someone else and be like, oh the doctor said, you know, I mean, they don't go again, because that's why most people because if you go again, then you're the crazy person for thinking that something's like your hyper hydra, you're a hYP you're paranoid. Yeah, the doctor said, nothing's wrong with you don't have a you don't have herney, you don't have a lump like you know, Like again, my girlfriend Rachel, she found a lump and she's the doctor said nothing but that it was just a what's that called a a lymph node? But again, like who knows? Do you trust that one or do you go again and ask again, I think there's something, especially when it comes to like lumps on you and stuff like that, I feel like the standards should just be you get at least two opinions. Even if you go to a doctor you trust, it's like, let me just go check with somebody else that don't even know. When you get good news, you're like, oh you yeah, I just write it off. I had a lump under, like in my armpit that I kept feeling for a couple of weeks, and I was just like, oh, that's weird, and I mentioned and I didn't think anything of it, and then I mentioned it to someone and they were like, oh my god, you have to go to the doctor. Immediately. I was like what, Oh my god. So I went and they were like, oh, it's nothing, you know, don't worry about it. You're you probably have something clogged. And it didn't go away. It didn't go away, and I was just like, I have to go back. And I went back and I ended up being nothing, but it could have been. It could have been something really serious. That's just so scary. It's like, yeah, how do you how do you trust the doctors? Okay, one of the things that my husband I love right now is beach Body on Demand. It's fantastic because we both get to get the greatest workouts. My husband does the P nine d X and then I love the Brazil Butt Lift, and you can do Payo hip Hop Abs, three week yoga retreat. There's so many things. So whatever you're looking for, whether it's from hip hop to yoga to Penn and X, you can basically pick out whatever workout exercise regiment that you want that works for you. So I think that is amazing. So the trainer that I know Mike uses law is Shanti. So what's great about beach Body on Demand two is it doesn't require any extra equipment and it's only twenty five minutes a day. So when you say you don't have time, I know you got twenty five minutes. My listeners can try beach Body on Demand right now, absolutely free. So what are you waiting for? Just join over one million people currently on beach Body on Demand right now. My listeners can get a special free trial membership when you text Jana to thirty thirty thirty, you will get full access to this entire platform for free. All the workouts, nutrition information and support totally free again just text jannat Okay, So we have kJ del Antonia on the phone. Hello, Hello, hey, how are you? You're in studio with a bunch of people. But um we got Gen producer Gen here and then my husband Michael. Hi, everybody, how are you? I'm great? Thank you? Um you? So you wrote a book called How to Be a Happier Parent? Yes, hadn't your mother of four? I am the mother of four? Were you? Just like, I'm so unhappy? So I just need to do something to make me like change your process? Well, I was at the time I tried to write this the parenting columns for the New York Times. So I was interviewing, I was editing, I was reporting on all things around family, UM and as well I was living at you know, I had the four young kids who had a full time job, so did my partner. And what we were experiencing, which was that we spent more time running around on behalf of our family than we did sort of treasuring them and having fun, you know, if enjoying it was also what I was seeing and what I was hearing from the people that I was editing, UM and interviewing, just what everybody was really struggling with sort of um, you know, under joy and overwhelmed. Well, I feel like it's hard to because I know I I talked to you know, my girlfriends. You know there it's like this kid has cheer camp, this kid has soccer this, and it's like you guys are almost like passing. So it's like, how, well, how do you be happier when you when you need to do the functions that you want to do for your kids. But yet it's I don't know, like where's what's what's the line for that? Well, I think we get really caught up in this idea that we need to do all the things. Well we do though, don't we Because I'm like we I want like I want Jolie to go to soccer and something. I want her to do ballet. I want, you know, the baby boy coming up to be able to do his you know, whether he plays hockey or golf or whatever. So it's like it's not like because what we just don't put them in activities, no activities at all? You know, there there is a balance and one of the things that's happening right now. If you look like if if you have a daughter and dance that you're looking at it and going dade I have for doing dance. I don't remember being it being like this overwhelming. I don't remember there being so much of it. And objectively, you're absolutely right. Activities and sports have really gamed up. Um things are they are more overwhelming than they used to be. The expectations are higher, the opportunities are are greater, and so it's easy to get caught up and feeling like that's the way that it has to be. Um, there's also just sort of more out there. So, you know, we want our kids to do it right because it's not super fun and I want to take cartooning class and dance lessons from play hockey and and do all the things. But the reality is that our kids, as well as we need some space to sort of grow and um think and be on our own and sort of have some downtime, and we we often really kind of fill that up in the name of all the fun things. So, kJ do you believe in limiting your children to an extent where maybe they don't allow them to do every single activity where maybe one year they have to supplement one that they want to do and give up another for a year to test it out. Is that something that you're kind of you know, suggesting. Yeah, my kids kind of get a little self limited because there are four of them, um, and there's you know, there's only two of us. There's only so much that that they can do. And we really um as they get older, especially, we talked to them about it. If my kid comes home and says, you know, I really I want to play baseball and do soccer at this spring, I will say yeah. And you also, you know, like to have a day of a week when you can have a friend over after school or you can go to that trend. If you do both of those things, you're gonna lose time. Um. And we try to balance I mean do I do? I say no, absolutely, but I also try to work with them to strike a good balance. So do you think just time management then is one of the biggest things to be a happier parents parents? Yeah, and and time management, but also being aware that you don't need to manage all the time. Let's leave some of it empty. But I just I wanted to talking about being a happier parent. I woke up about eight times last night because my six year old sleeps in bed with me, and he was like suffocating me. He was a hundred degrees. It was like I was so high, and would you like him sleeping in bed? Well, to me, I feel like, again I'm not shaming like co sleeping, but that's something Michael and I could never do. Okay, so it does not work for us. After last night, I almost went and slept in his bed, and I was like, I have to do. Something has to change. What is your best advice to parents who co slept and now it's time, it's time to move them into their own room. Well, that is definitely going to be a gradual process, right, and maybe because he's probably so attached now to you and that you know that situation, Yeah, maybe you're right, but going to sleep in his you know, maybe you start the night off in his bead, m yourself out gradually. Maybe you've got you know, you're like, tonight it's gonna be your trial run. You're gonna get in the bed for half an hour and it's going you, um, you know, I think you're gonna have to maybe or with him and talk to him about what you're doing so that you know he's well excited. It's really that he doesn't feel like it's a law, you know, it's it's like a good thing for you both has to be more of an adventure. Yeah. Yeah, And and here I mean sleep. It's hugely important. You're probably not either of you getting your best sleep. And oh wait, I have another great idea for you. Um, get one of those slow up mattresses. This is just totally practical, like the inflatable twin side had one that actually like it had had at this and then it sunk down in the middle and then if we called it, we called it the nest, and we kept it under our bed and whenever a child needed to come in in the middle of the night, they could crawl into the nest. Oh, that's really always there. It was always out. I mean this is usually we still get it out when so you know, if you eat it, but then they're not in the bed with us, which, like you said, it's hot, and they kick and one of them's let sleeping with a windmill. So um yeah, but they're there and they know they're welcome. Right. That's a great Thank you so much. That's great advice. kJ. Going back to time management real quick. When you have, especially a family of four children and you and your husband. Do you guys feel obligated to be at every event for your kids or is that something where you know to kind of keep y'all's relationship healthy, where hey, mom and dad aren't going to be there for this thing because we're gonna have some time for ourselves. Is that something you consider. We can't be at everything because there's four of them and only two of us. But they're kind of aware of that, and they're aware that some of the time, you know, we're not going to be the one to drive them. They're going to have to get a card fall, they're going to have to get a different vide. It's just the way that it's going to work for sure. Now going on a more personal love for Jenna and I, what we're gonna we're we're about to deal with, you know, we have our two and a half year old and we have a son on the way who's doing the end in November. What kind of tips or or advice do you have for us for really, you know, welcoming helping our daughter welcome the new baby into the house, into her world that she's only known with just her mom and dad. Um. Well, the biggest tip is to let it be okay that she's not drilled. Um, doesn't have to be thrilled. This is you know, this is gonna happen. It's going to be a change. Sometimes she can be excited and delighted, and sometimes she can say, uh, you know, I don't want this. I don't want another baby. I hate that baby. That's baby ruins everything. UM, and I and that's okay. Like the fact that you are okay with her feeling that way, UM, it's gonna make it easier for her. She can have those feelings than they can pass, and then she can feel loving towards the baby again and it'll all be good. Why do you think siblings should fight? I saw that in your thing where he said it's it's actually a good day. It's more that I think that they will and um, and that it's good. But it's good to say, Um, I mean I I don't I don't like my memories of fighting with my brother. I don't know how that served us a good purpose because I look at my my cousin's relationship and even yeah, they maybe like fought a little bit, but they like they have a great relationship, not saying my relationship my brother. My brother and I have a great relationship now, but as a kid, like, I mean, he was so mean to me, so I'm like, I'm like, I don't and then on top of that, like what my parents had to deal with because of us fighting. Well, I don't think it's a joint, that is for sure. It's more that if your kids are are doing this and experiencing it, to be aware that they are, but they're getting something out of it. So you know, you're sort of learning that not every relationship is going to be great since they're stoffling, but um, you can and one of the things that I think you learned sort of that you can fight and then you can be okay afterwards that you know, it's a good lesson. kJ. Where can our listeners find you? kJ Della tonio dot com. The book gets how to Be a Happier Karen and you could pretty much buy that anywhere. Amazing. Well, thank you so much for coming on. We really appreciate it. Thanks, thank you. Okay, So I got turned onto sugar bear hair from my girlfriend Sarah, who's been on the podcast. She loves sugar bear hair because not only is it just incredibly good for you to take. Your hair looks awesome. And I remember I always ask her, I said, does it really work? And she says, yes, it works so amazing. Well, I'm telling you my hair has never looked better. So each little gummy is as much vitamin A as four cups of broccoli, as much vitamin C as one cup of cranberries, and as much vitamin B twelve as four organic eggs. The nuts and sugar Bear hair fans also found their nails and skin quality improve over time, So I love that. Go to sugar Bear Hair dot com slash Janna for beautiful hair and healthier you. That's sugar Bear Hair dot com slash Janna, sugar Bear Hair dot com slash Janna. Um a story. I need this story. So we kind of touched on a little bit. Um for those of you listening, I got like ten more minutes. I'm out of here. I've heard this story. But where are you going to work? Oh god, I'm still doing that. So Julie, let me just catch Easton and Mark and Jenna. Michael obviously knows a story. Her her husband is my ex husband. Yes, so wait a second, So I I was married to her husband. Check. Yes, this story so and this is his beautiful wife. Hello. And she's also my best friend and we have like family parties and get togethers, and you know, my our closest friends here in Los Angeles. That's incredible, incredible. I mean we're their son. Camden is Jolie's best friend Tendon. They go to the same school. They're technically siblings because that's the only way that Jolie was able to get into the school. Oh my god, that's so funny. Talk about name changes, right, um, but no, So I met Julie. Well, I knew of Julie because she stalked me on I did stock. I mean, who people always stalk ex girlfriends. It's just gonna happen. I meant girlfriends, I mean or girlfriends, but also girlfriends. Is there another layer to this story? I've stopped like all my boyfriends X's girlfriends or whatever. It's just it's just what you do, you know. I feel like it's just the rite of passage for a girl to be able to stalk, you know, the other people and be like but then you're like, oh, they're prettier whatever. But anyways, so I knew that Jonathan had moved on and that he was dating this girl named Julie. But this is a this is an interesting story. I was dating someone in the country world. I'm not going to say his name. We'll just call him um cowboy and old old Yeller, so a compliment. I'm living in East Nashville, and at midnight, Jonathan and Julie show up at my house in East Nashville, which, mind you, is like not like the safest place. It's kind of like it's safe, but it's like also kind of sketchy to East Nashville. So they show up at my house and Old Yeller comes up and he's like, your ex husband's at the door. And I'm like it sounds like a country western and I was like what I look at the time, Like it's midnight. You want to talk to you? And I was like tell him to leave, Like this is midnight. So Julie and Jonathan show up at my house, would you like to Yeah, well it was it was late, so I will say that I don't think we really paid attention to the time. I don't think it was midnight, but it was. It was like but um, I think we just like we didn't know that he was going to be there obviously. Yeah, and it wasn't supposed to be this like dramatic, crazy thing. I think that I had written an email to Jonathan, so here's my thing with ex boyfriends x whatever. I wrote an email saying something had happened to someone in his life, and I expressed my dearest sympathy because I don't like negative energy out there. How John and I ended wasn't good. We're obviously amazing. Now he's you know, he's incredible. He's for you know, as an act and coach. We we were on sides together. He's part of the family. Basically, we do dinners, like we said, but um, at the time, we didn't have a good like ending, and I just don't like that energy out there. So I had emailed and being like, hey, I heard something happen and I'm really sorry. I hope you're well. So that was just my nice Oliver. Yeah, and I think he is trying to retrieve that all the branch. But the energy with the person that get us at the door, Yeller like pulled a gun on them. Yeah, it was it kind of the dynamic got shifted pretty quickly and dramatically because we I mean it was not our intention to be there in a negative light or to be there in a hostile light at all, but we were met with this really intense energy. I mean yeah again, but it's like it's midnight. Who shows up that late? So it was like when Jonathan was like, hey, I want to go over here, and yeah, I think yeah, I think it was both of ours like but we Yeah, it wasn't like a drunken thing that we meant to co late. It was later than we probably should have. I think that we didn't realize how late it was. We weren't paying attention to that. So yeah, so old Yeller like pulls a gun. They had a hard time understanding. He's like, what do you say? It's like property, and it was like what he said was if we don't get off this property. Yeah. I could understand what he was saying because I grew up into to See and so my family there, you know, I have a have a family that that are, you know, very rural and you know, speak with that southern draw And so he was talking and Jonathan I could just start to see like his brow furrow and he was just kind of like I could tell he was I was like, he has no idea what he's saying. And so then John goes, what did you just say? I was like, he said that if we don't leave right now, we're going to have a problem. So we did. We ended up leaving, and then I don't even remember so leaving, and then we met again at the j DeMarcus from Rascale Flats does this wine, um charity from Make a Wish, Make a Wish, and she was there we officially met. She was very sweet um and I just she was she was really really nice. And then it wasn't until I did Dancing with the Stars two years ago when um, and that's when Jonathan had reached out and was just like, you know, if you need anything, you know, Julie, and I said, I kind of, you know, I could really use the help, you know, I don't know how long we're going to be or for Dancing with the Stars. Do you guys have like a crib or a pack and play? I could borrow because Jolie was only six months and Julie was so sweet. I mean she was just like, yeah, this is Camden's old crib, here's this, here's that, and she just became a best friend two years later, now we're like busties. It's it's just it's it's worked out like so beautifully. But I always loved telling the story of people because I mean, I was only married to Jonathan for like a week, so it wasn't for for us. Anyone who's going to be friends with like a new spouse or a new girlfriend and boyfriend, like everyone automatically thinks that that should be weird because you should just automatically hate each other. But the way that I look at it, I have like that has nothing to do with me. I didn't even know Jonathan existed or Janet existed like I have. I'm not part of that relationship that was a decade ago, and I know me and Mike are so glad that they didn't work out because now we have, you know, we have amazing, beautiful children that we all equally love and supporting. Um. I think it all just kind of works and it's funny. We were actually last night with m jan and I have a mutual friend named Sarah Boyd. Sarah Boyd's best friend is Cat Sadler from E News. Sarah Boyd's husband is also Cat Sadler's ex husband Kyle Boyd. And so Sarah and Kat are really really close, and so we were talking to Sarah, how you know we have kind of that that similar connection that Sarah and Cat are are really close, and Jane and I are really close. And so I think that it's just a matter of really, you know, being an adult and realizing the awkwardness is out now. Like I feel like two years ago, when you know, my mom came for dancing, she's like, oh, this is weird. I'm like, if it's not weird like now we're yeah, yeah, if it's weird for other people, then that's their own. It would be weird if if the timelines cross each other, right, you know, I mean, then I can understand where there's trust issues or it's the reason why I left John. I can understand. But like Julie said, she didn't even I mean, y years had gone by, so many years you guys married, what five years? We've been married for five years? Yeah, I mean, and you don't even you don't even like you were withdrawn. Like that's just so like I remember being a kid and watching that thing you do in loving that movie, and now you know that's John. I'm like I knew you when I was like ten, I knew you. Like you don't see us together, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, not at all. It's Julian John, It's me and he's amazing. I wish he was here so sweet. Yeah, but can we can you please talk tell us about what you do because you have really taken the influencing market and just blown it up. Um. Yeah, So my background is in PR. I worked um in New York and Nashville. Um, you have an influencer podcast. I do have the influencer podcast now. UM worked in PR and then kind of trance you know, evolved as this influencer space has evolved, and as marketing digital marketing specifically as evolved. So I started the Influence for podcast about two years ago, and you know, we have listeners in over a hundred and sixty five countries. It's been downloaded millions of times. It's just really took off when that influencer space took off. We really UM with that podcast. It's it's more of a tactical education based podcast. We really teach bloggers or influencers are aspiring bloggers and influencers how they can uplevel their online influencer Right now, you have a webinar I do. So I have a new program coming out called the Influencer Academy. We're gonna have some free videos and webinars with that. So anyone who's interested in either starting an online influence or wanting to grow that, they can go to the Influencer Academy dot org and get that information. What is the best thing like that you've like, well, what's the best advice that you can tell someone like if you're wanting to start. I mean I would say I think a lot of times, especially in the influencer space, and you know, we'll just use Instagram as an example that people just think that it's it's something that just kind of happens to people, right like, um, they become instantly insto famous because they you know, they're neked and a photo or they go on The Bachelor, or you know, they're sitting front row at fashion they're doing hashtag ads and now they're doing hashtag ads and you know, yes, do those things happen, sure, But that is like a point five percent out of the entire influencer. I mean there's there's like eight billion people in the world. Three million of them or bloggers and influencers, so you know, not three million people have gone on The Bachelor and not three million people sit front row at Fashion Week. So I think that it's really about thinking of it and seeing it as a business and also realizing that a business does not happen overnight. It takes time, It takes strategy, it takes coaching, it takes mentoring, it takes really wanting to do it and having like that resilience and that endurance to want to to grow anything, whether you want to be a doctor or an influencer, like you're you're going to have to do the work. So I think that's the biggest misconception that a lot of people get. They see, you know, a lot that that word influencer has a lot of negative connotation to it because they're like, Oh, these girls just woke up like that and they're putting hashtag ad on a post and making all of this money. And they're like, yeah, but that is how they grow their business. But there's a lot that happens behind the scenes that you're not seeing. So it's kind of like someone who goes to a Broadway play and they're like, oh, I could do this because I've seen a couple of them. It's like, no, I mean there's a lot that happens behind the scenes to actually make the show go on and say your handle again. It's at Jewels j U L S. Solomon s O L O M O N and to get the webinar the Influencer Academy dot org. Thanks for being here, Jewels, thanks for having mark. Do you have an email for us? I do. It's from she just called herself. See I was twenty, she says, by the way, in response to last week's episode, I was twenty three when I lost my virginity, not because I didn't want to lose it before then, I didn't care. I'm twenty eight now my number is three. No regrets. This leads me to my question. I don't really date, not that I wouldn't. I just haven't found the one. But I want kids so bad since I can remember, I've wanted them. But it's twenty five. I really started thinking about doing artificial insemination at thirty. Is that too young? And from a guy's perspective, would that freak you out of a future girlfriend? Did this? By the way, I'm not cutting off all men. I just know they're not showing up and I want babies. Well are you showing up because you said that you're not dating. Well, he is not going to knock on the door while you're sitting on the couch on the perfect man's not gonna, you know, down from the sky. I mean, this day and age is really hard to find. I mean, well, there's social media. There's a lot to unpack here in this email. There is, and listen, motherhood is not easy, and if you're going to do it on your own, having hats off to you, like if you want to go all in. I have one of my son's friends, his mother. This is you know, the road she took and I respect her for it, but it is exhausting to not have any help. And I see it in her face every single day. I mean, yeah, I'm sure I can't even imagine single moms. And you know what I can't. I can't imagine that. Having said that, I had made a pack to myself. If I was thirty five and did not have a uh what's that? What's that word? Perspective? Prospect? I was If I was thirty five and did not have a prospect, I would have done a donor right. So what my advice to see would be like, wait, put your really, truly, truly put yourself out there, and then what's going on though, because I feel like there's just deeper stuff here, but I don't. But I disagree that this external validation of needing to feel loved. So it's like, I'm just going to go have a kid because I disagree with you because when I was thirty, I was like, I want and that's you know, when I said my fault was I moved too fast in my relationship with Mike because I wanted a kid. I wanted to have a baby. I want and it wasn't because I needed to feel love or this or my Yes, I've gotten my purpose from being a mother and from those things. At the same time, I just want to be a mom because that is what I feel like my true passion in life is supposed to be. And I get that, but rushing it at twenty five, you haven't even she isn't she now? Yeah, I say, freeze your eggs, give it fun and and and put yourself out there. Go date people. You're the whole thing. She was like, you know, I just don't want to date because I haven't found the one where you're not going to find the one unless she had made some people make it your job. That's what my sister did. Mark perspective, like if if she had a kid. I feel like in this day and age though too, if you're thirty and a lot of people have kids, well look at a single mom. As a single mom, you're going to take certain guys out of the pool just because certain guys aren't going to be interested in that. But I don't think it makes any difference if you're a single mom from a previous relationship or because of artificial inssemination. I don't think it makes much difference to the guy. Yeah, I agree, so huge. Thank you to a t T. Visit at dot com slash smart to learn more about how a T T can design install a secure smart home just for you. That bit Fun used promo code Janna to get ten dollars off your first box that's over two for only thirty. Go to fab fit fun dot com and use my code Janna to get ten dollars off your first fat fit fum box beach Body on Demand. Thank you so much all of my listeners. You will get a full access to this entire platform for free, all the workouts and nutrition information and support. Just text Janna to thirty and thanks to sugar Bear Hair for making my hair amazing. Go to sugar bear hair dot com slash Janna for beautiful hair and healthy are you that's sugar bear hair dot com slash Janna, sugar bear hair dot com slash Janna Well show, thanks, good luck on that. I support you, these little naysayers over here, you know, I support her her decision and wanting to explore her option. But date freeze your eggs, go out and date all right? Well, I love you guys. I'm excited to wind down next week. Can't wait. By

Whine Down with Jana Kramer

At the end of a long day, nothing is better than winding down and decompressing with a good friend,  
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