It’s a Real Housewife party this week, when Jana opens her doors to some of the wildest ladies on TV. She sits down with Leanne Locken, who gives Jana’s friend Sara some unforgettable advice, and she gets very real and honest about her difficult upbringing, in a very “Leanne” way. Then, Emily Simpson from RHOC calls in and talks about what it’s like to be new to the Real Housewives, and how she’s handling life in the public eye. And we hear from Monique Samuels from Real Housewives of Potomac, and find out that she and Jana have shockingly similar lives.
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Wine Down with Janne Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast. Okay, two things. One thing I have to get off my chest right now is Julia's going to pre school tomorrow and I just we just started talking about it and I got a little teerio like are you gonna cry? And I'm like, I'm already like pre schwitzing in my eyes. I did like I'm gonna started thinking about it. I'm like, it's like, it's my girl, and it's I'm so excited for her, but I want her to have like her independence. But it's like she's getting so independent now that I'm like, it's beautiful, but it's also like it's breaking my heart a little bit. And realize is they have their old little life then I know, and I'm yeah, but I'm just so used to her screaming at the door when I leave, and you know, even like when I came here today for the podcast, I was like bye baby. She's like bye mama, and I was like, I love that. But also I'm like, oh, like she's good. Tomorrow will be hard. She's probably going to cry too. She's not going because we went to church. We tried this new church out here um on Sunday, and she she went right in like the kids center. I didn't even like. I was like, but by like, so she's fine. And we went to we went to orientation last week and when we second we got in her classroom, it's like I wasn't even there. She's gonna be fine. It's gonna be me. And that's the thing that the teacher said to Mr. Dora was like, the kids are fine, it's the parents. And I'm like, because I again like and I won't let her see me cry, but I will definitely leave and cry. But I'm filling my day tomorrow with like a lot of stuff to keep me like occupied. Good. Yeah, Like I have a workout right afterwards, and then I'm hanging out and Sarah. By the way, I have to talk about Sarah because she's coming over to work out too, and she has oh my god, so okay, so John, you were sick, but she like, just to catch you up from last week. She's been in this relationship for six years and she basically it's a time. It's time now, you know. It's like it's been six years, like either crap or get off the pot, you know what I mean. So she wants either an engagement ring or moving on because she feels like she's being held back. And Amy was like, well, why do you need the ring? And she's like, this is just who I am. Like I she's like me where it's like I just I do want a piece of paper. Thought about it a lot too, because she wants what she wants and guess what, great, but she people need it. Yeah, and that's the thing, like, and she's because like they he wants kids, they want to have kids. But at the same time, it's like she wants it in the order. She's old school, she's from Texas. Like that's just how that that's what she wants. That's you know, and her she's very close to their dad and all like all that stuff. So she was like, Okay, I think because she's coming with me the I Heart Radio Festival in September, and she's like, I think I'm gonna do it, like either before that weekend or after that weekend and just be like, look if it's not this year, like I'm I want you to know I am dead serious, Like I'm dead serious. And then she's like and I won't. I was okay, but then you can bring it up again, because if you keep bringing it up, he might be like, fine, here's your Ethan ring, you know what I mean, like one exactly so, and I was like, why don't you just listen to the podcast together and you know, talk about it afterwards. And she texted me she was in New York and she's like, I couldn't wait till the podcast came out. She's like yeah. She she goes, I sat him down, and she goes, tied, I want you to know I am dead serious about I will leave, and he goes, trust me, Sarah. She was, it is a ring this year? Yeah, she goes, if it's if it's not a ring this year, I'm gone and he goes, trust me, Sarah, I know, I got it, okay, And I was like, okay, now no more, no more, I go, no more, and now let's start planning it with. I don't think he has the ring, but I think he knows how serious she is and he's an idiot if he doesn't do it. Because now she said, what you know it's this year or no? He said, I hear you. I trust me, Sarah, I get it. I know. Yeah. And so I was like, okay, Sarah, and I was like, but you have to. I don't care if it's December thirty one, Do not say one word about it again, because you will ruin this for yourself. She'll totally ruin it. So I just okay, now she knows, and I was like, now let's play a wedding because she wants to like get married next year. So I was like, let's get on it. Come on. So she's like, I don't know where. I don't know if I want to be inside, so we'll see. And when you say that when she says this year, doesn't mean just she wants to be engaged by the end of this year. By the end of the end of this year. But it's August, I know. But you can get a ring turned around fast, you can. My only thing is so she I think she wants it done on her birthday, and my fear is that if it's not done on her birthday, she's going to get upset and then who knows, maybe maybe he's doing it on New Year's eat. So that so I was like, just give him, like you said, until January one. I just feel like, and then I love it so uncome. I like the expectation and then it's going to be like up and down and up and down. But but but this is what I told her. I was like, don't don't put that on you. You've said it, and now live for the next because you've already lived six years of when is it going to be? So now you have a couple of months. Enjoyed his next couple of months because hopefully it will be coming time. If you're listening to this, you should go get the ring now. Don't make her way. And she wants three diamonds. He's also listening, like, let's get really specific. She's got a Pinterest board if you want to see it, like she showed me and it's beautiful a little like it's anxious. Well, I feel anxious for her because she's going to be waiting and waiting and waiting, and she's already waited six years. But still but now she's voiced, and so what's another three months? Like she needs like a sedative, like I can't I have some for her? She needs just Friday, but he needs to wait though, it needs to hold off a second until I think, I hope he does it her under that you would love her. I'm gonna bring her in November immediately. No, it's a November. It needs to be in November on the show. Oh my god, No, she would not be happy about that. There's there's one thing about Sarah's she wants it to be like I think she would want it to be like you know, beautiful romantic and radio studio on air with Ryan. We can't we drink it. I can get some orchids and when it happens though, we'll have Taie and Sarah both on the show. Alright. So, med Ba says is changing with pregnancy, and I'm really happy that I have found Third Love because it's comfortable quality in every single stitch. The details make the difference from premium fabrics to expert design. So and also you can skip the trip to the store, find your fit and sixty seconds online order and try on at home. No more awkward fitting room experiences. And this is really great for me again because you can always do a half size and with like with my breast says changing because of pregnancy. It's really nice to be able to find a custom bra that fits for me. And they're really really really comfortable of women fall in between standard cup sizes. So that's why third Love invented half cup sizing, and that's actually what I am too. Third Love guarantees a perfect fit. Returns and exchanges are free and easy. So third Love knows there's a perfect bra for everyone. So right now they're offering my listeners fifteen percent off your first order. Go to third love dot com slash Janna now to find your perfect fitting bra and get fifteen percent off your first purchase. That's third love dot com slash Janna for fifteen percent off today. Emily, Hey girl, it's Janna Jen and Amy. Hi, Jana Jin and Amy? Are you are you doing? I'm great. I'm at work. I can't believe you're a lawyer. Wait wait what kind of law do you practice? Are you at like lawyer work or are you at like housewives work? No? No, no, I'm at lawyer work. Lawyer work office right now, like you know, writing that the emails to opposing counsel. So god, my god, wait, what could a law do you practice? I do copyright? So photographers mostly so are they do? They film you when you're in the like doing your lawyer work. They do? And it's funny because I try to warn them. I'm like, it's not exciting. Like mostly we like, you know, rapping emails and letters and stuff and you know, so what they did they filmed a few times. Yeah, but the mean emails sound fun. Yes, I know, right, I wish I could share those kind of question actually about copyright since you're a lawyer. So if I was to post a photo of like wire you know, wire image, someone that took a photo of me and then I put it on my Instagram, cannot photographer then come after me because I posted their photo? Um, they can if they own a copyright to it. But it's me though, I'm like, then they should, you know what I mean? Like they right, like you own me? It's my face? Like this is because they took a picture. I don't know. I've always like wanted that because someone said to me, you need to take that down and I was like, you need to shut up. But like like but then I was like, wait, like am I in there doesn't want pictures? But well I know, but I was just like, but how do they get to own that when it's like that's face? Because I mean I want to use that photo of you, I have to pay for it. But I don't understand that. Well Emily help. I you know, now I'm all confused. I don't even know if I practiced copy right law anymore. No, I'm just kidding. Um, well it whoever owns the end of image. So if they take a picture of you and you sign a released giving them permission that you don't sign a release for wire image. I guess when you technically step on a red carpet, you're giving I guess if you're if you're in public and you're just allowing yourself to be photographed, you're giving permission for them to own the photograph. And then if they copyright that photograph, then they own that's their work. So it's their creat but it's my face. My my parents created the face it is. I can use that next time, then I own my face. Yeah, you know what, I hope this issue comes up for me because I'm going to use that in one of my arguments. Yeah, exactly, she owns her face. They didn't. They didn't make that like her parents made that. You're welcome for the lawyer the lawyer chat is it as soon as you step into public property, it's open game. Because she's a public figure. It's like a paparazzi shooting you right now, me, I'm not a figure. You're totally you know what I did yesterday? There was a girl walk in front of me and I couldn't believe what she had on because it was a family oriented picture. I took a picture and sent it to my sister because we do list all the time. Because so do you own it? Just Emily? Does she own that photo now? Of like her? Like paparazzaying another person? Okay, your word speaking of people being awful and mean? Like Jen, how do you like being on the Housewive? I know, Oh my gosh, I tell you. I mean I knew going in through it because you're new right to the show. Yeah, this was my first year, So I mean, I'm not I'm not done. Like I knew what I'm setting myself up for. But I tell you, even though you know and you're prepared for it, you don't know if you're not prepared for it, because people will come after you for things that you're like, I didn't even know you could have even picked up on something like that, right my my girlfriend, Um, she said, do you know Lydia She used to be on the Housewives of Orange County. I don't know her. I actually know her mom, Judy Duty, lives next door to my in law, so I sent Juty. Well she was just like I mean she it kind of seems like you were It's like you're so sweet, and she was like, I can't handle like just people like constantly like picking on you, Like how do you deal with that? Like I would lose my crap. I you know, it's hard, especially when it's like about my husband, because my husband was like, didn't even really sign up for this, like I did it and then I drug him along and then the poor guy he's like, you know, everybody's like her husband's gay, her husband's ugly. I feel so badly for him because he you know, kidding, but I mean that's it. But that sucks like someone like being some in and again like he didn't sign up for it, So is it something? Where is that causing tension in y'all's marriage? Because he didn't want you that so I worried about that. That was another thing. My husband wasn't all that keen on me being on the show because everybody gets divorced, right, I mean yeah exactly. So you know, no mug shots, no divorce, and so we actually wouldn't therapy prior to me going on the show, and during the show, just kind of like stay healthy, you know, stay on the same page, have a third party kind of mediating between the two of us, and you know, it's it's good. I mean, yeah, I mean there were definitely ups and downs during the filming process. I mean there were times when he was like, screw this, I'm never filming again, and then there were other times where he was fine. But yeah, it's it's not easy. Like you you don't realize how much it really affects, you know, your whole life. How did you. I think what happened was I knew Tamar from a few years back. I actually helped my sister in law and I do party planning kind of on the side of the hobby, and we planned a baby shower for her when her granddaughter was born, and I got to know her through that process. And then a couple of years ago, UM casting people had to reach out to me and said, Tamar recommend to do and so I actually had auditions two years ago, I believe, and then didn't hear anything from them for a couple of years, and then this year, just got an email from someone at Bravo's thing. You know, we want to audition you again. We think it would be great for the show. And then just went from there, just went through the whole process. Yeah, what has been the most disappointing, like in a person at the show that you thought you were friends with. Well, you know, I'll tell you what's disappointing is I feel like I was really naive going into it because I'm really a girl girl, Like I have a ton of girlfriends and so I've always been able to easily make friends and hang out with girls and have a good time. And I really thought going into it that people would like me right right, so and when people don't, I know, and that's to me. And then like then why why did you say yes? Because I would think that you would like look at the drama on the show and be like, I don't even want to be involved in that because you are such a girl's girl. Yeah, you know, because I really didn't. Honestly, I hadn't even watched the show since like two thousand and thirteen. I hadn't seen any episode, but I knew, like I I obviously follow like you know, some Houselos Instagram accounts and things like that, so I knew kind of what was going on and that, you know, people not getting along, and I don't know, I guess I was just I just had so high hope that, like I was, you know, you're going to change, like you're going to change the women to you. Yeah, but they was. I figured there would be drama, Like I knew that, but I thought it would be like more naturally, like we all were friends, and then drama arose out of that. I didn't realize that people would just be so resistant to like having anything to do with you. I'm sorry, It's like, how do you like? Because I get the hard I mean, it hurts me when I read comments about people that don't like me. So you're getting it not only in the show, but I'm sure you're if you read comments online like people aren't nice, you know, So if you're getting it from like those angles, it's like, how how are you? Like? It's it's hard. There are days when like I have cried, I've cried and been like what the hell was I doing? You know? But you know they're I have lots of really positive comments to where people reached out to me directly and say thank you so much for being Um, just like a loss of fresh air, like just acting like you know, like not really wanting to work out, like not having you know, like these you know have to be a plaze to and be perfect in Orange County and you know, talking about your fertility struggle and you know, just being when real and your sister carried your babies. Yes, all three. Wow, what a selfless thing to do. That's amazing. You have three s I have three. So I have two stepdaughters. So my husband has a seventeen year old with twelve year old with his first wife, and then he and I had three little ones together. My daughter is five and then twin boys that are three. So when did when did you how long you've been married to your now husband most ten years almost, and then how long we married to your last husband? Um, that was five years. It was maybe we lived together six months out of the five years. Actually, So like my first marriage, I was young and he was in the military, and I think out of the five years that we were actually married, I think we only lived together or SMaL other maybe six months out of the whole five years. Do you think that's what kind of caused the break in your marriage? Did what called up? Do you think like the distance and not being together is that will cause the break definitely? And like as soon as we we got married, I was like twenty six, and then I went to law school and he um, he was in I don't know, he was stationed everywhere and it just you know, it just didn't work out. I mean there's no animositar or anything. I actually don't even remember being married. But I always forget to other people, how is how is this? How is the step kids? Mom? I always like to know at that was a very very difficult and tumultuous relationship four years until May the six months ago, because you're on the show. I I don't know what burden. I have no idea. I think really what happened is my twelve year old stepdaughter is really kind of you know, having issues with her mom, and so she's been telling my husband a lot of things. And then I think her mom realized that like, in order to parent these teenage girls, like they need to stick together, like she you know, being combative with him and not telling him things and you know, trying to keep him out of things. It's not working. Is it off limits for the kids on the show. No, you know what, she actually she let them film a little bit, and then she didn't let them film, and then towards the end she let them film again. But they're so they're it's very rare. It's probably jealousy too. I would think I would be like, yeah, if Michaelina got divorced and he was dating some of the cow's wife girl and and you know, I would be like, I would just be jealous. So don't take it as like she doesn't like you. I mean, she might not like you, but but I mean, like, don't take it. I mean, yeah, I mean that's got to be hard on like both sides for sure. Exactly. I just wanted to do whatever the kids wanted to do, Like, I just wanted them not feel left out because my kids were filming. Very true. How are all of the kids adjusting to it? Because it has it affected them at school? Has it the teens at least? Well? No, because I don't know. I mean I need to ask my two older girls. They're they're actually in Europe with my mother in law took them to Europe, so they're out doing European things so, and I mean, hey, I feel like at their age two, I mean they're able to know, especially with Instagram and stuff and how influencing has kind of taken over. I mean, it's a great if they if they want to be in that world at all. I mean, it's a great kind of start for to have like such a platform, you know, right. I just I My husband and I have both had talks with the older girls about not taking things personally if they read things about me or about him, and just realizing that, you know, people aren't kind and not kind of at all. I was just I was just texting. Yeah, I was just texting with Amy, our producer. Last night. I had this one lady on the show and then I found out I had this interview with us Weekly, and um, I was just talking about how I want to have sex more because I'm pregnant and my hormones and stuff, and you know, she was she basically called me an idiot and said I'm disrespecting my husband. And I'm like, oh my god, this is the same girl that was like on on our show. And I'm like, Amy, can you believe this? It's because I didn't. I responded to her one time, and then from then I guess she thought we were like best friends. And because I haven't responded again like then she had, then she thinks it's okay to go on and like call me an idiot on other thinking about this, I don't know why I kind of bothered me or stuck with me, stuck with me. I don't know what to tell you to do or what I could do. It's like you kind of don't know what to do. I know, well, and here's the thing. People like, oh, like she sounds like a call girl. And I'm like, because I said I wanted to have sex with I mean, people are just so me like they're just like behind a computer and they're just mean. And it's like and I'm thirty four years old and I used to right, yeah, so and then one girl, she's the one girl called me something and I looked on her page and she follows me, and I was like, please unfollow me if you have, like, if you think that of me, please unfine. No matter how many times people say, don't let it bother you, it does. I know. That's and that's how I don't know, Emily, how you can be I'm like, I just I mean, I've never I was never a sorority girl. I couldn't be around girls like that. Are not like that. I can tell you that, I girl. I mean, I just don't believe either. I'm telling you guys and tories in the other room, she was in a sorority too. Sororities are what you the exact opposite. I don't believe it. Like I promise you, I will do a whole show on it, because they are like the most loyal friends. They never talk bleep about these girls don't know how not to talk. Kind of got the only thing we all have, the only thing that does happen in authority. I will say this is sometimes girls kind of claim the fraternity boy, and it's real vague on how long that last. But that's really the only issue you have is that they like might kiss some say, and then that guy's off limits to hi fies, you know what I mean. But that's the only thing I do because I cannot go and I and it's not that I'm not a girl's like Emily, Like I would and here's the thing, I would be, like you, I'd naively go on a show like this and be like everyone's gonna like me because I'm friends with everybody and I'm nice to people, and I don't want people to me, and so in the second when something happens, I'd be like why, Like it would tear me up that like I hurt some because sometimes I'm very sarcastic and that does get me into trouble at times, but it's not. I'm never malicious in a way where I mean to hurt somebody's feelings. And that was the other thing is like, that's why the other new girl, Gina, I actually like we're really good friends and we bond because I think we kind of have the same personality where I spent my whole life kind of bantering with my sister, like making fun of each other with exactly you should be able to make fun of your friends and joke around and be sarcastic without someone thinking you're a horrible person and getting mad and like crying and running away. It's like we want, but we also like what we probably do wrong too, is we they might not know us as well as other people know us, so then they don't they're confused with how we deliver certain things, which is you know, something that I have to remind myself of like, oh, this person doesn't know my sarcasm, so they're not They're gonna think I'm being either a bee or something, but I'm just it's my way of love. I make fun of you, and I like exactly totally. My mom got so held the out of shape over Fourth of July because I was like making fun of her and I was like, Mom, like, you know me, like that's like what we like. I love you, That's why I'm like being that way. But sometimes I guess we can take it too far, Emily, But I don't know. I guess, but you know what, I can take it too though, though, yeah totally right. Well yeah, but yes, but if it's if it's I don't know, yes, yeah, no, totally. Um well, I love you. Thank you so much for being on the show. I think you're so sweet and honestly, because if you you're the reason now I want to watch Real Housewives and Orange County, so I'm going to tune in. Look, I like you, Okay, I like you exactly, all right, talk soon, okay, best she's by. Oh she's sweet now. I want to watch her because I just be honest, I'm just not like a Housewives gal. I'm not either, and I have a few friends that like watch it and they're like obsessed with it, but I just it gives me anxiety. It made me so fund out that people are criticizing her husband. Do you think that's it would be worse for you for what they do to you or what they do to Michael. Oh, that's tough. I mean, I know Mike can handle himself, because there are times when things people do still say mean things about Michael, but not like he's gay or something like that, Like that's that's hurtful. It's really like you can say like, oh, he's a cheater, okay, whatever, what like ha ha whatever, But like to say that he's gay or like Mascalini mess whatever where it is. Yeah, yeah, judge that or anything like that would be really tough. I think hard on the kids. Yeah, I just think that's you know that information lives online for I will admit that sometimes. I'm just gonna really admit it that sometimes I may judge or be gossipy or whatever, but only like privately. I would never write it somewhere. So that's the part that throws me off that they're like say it to you. When I talk bad about you, Janna, I just do it in the other or somebody else, like I mean, and then we get over it. It's sign there is some element of human nature. But they're bullies. They're adult bullies. Well that's the thing. And I'm like, you're and you're like, you're signing up for that, like you're signing up to be told, like and that just that gives me so much anxiety, like that, like through the way I could ever do reality shows if it was literally just me and my husband and like my friends, like my friends, Like I could never be in a show with other women that are attacking me and my personality and like that would that would just eat me alive. But at the same time, there are women that can do that and that do have thicker skin. And that's now, this is why we have enjoy Just don't because here's at the end of the Yes, I'm sure like yeah, like Delta, Delta game whatever, But those girls, you cannot tell me they do not talk behind those girls other girls backs. I don't believe it for a second that they don't. I don't know. I didn't experience that in my stroority. And they're still my closest friends. And what's crazy is you can go twenty years without talking to someone, but you have that like camaraderie, ay sister bond that if you need something and you're like, hey, and I haven't talked to you in twenty years. I'm a Delta Gamma. Here's my number five five like reads Weatherspoon Action, it's sort of like the loyalty. Yeah, I want you guys to email me at Janna Creem and I heart media dot com because I'd like to discuss more about this um sorority girl stuff, because story real stories, like I want to hear I don't want to We were like a best friends, Like I don't like, I don't believe you. I want to hear something. They've got a little pinky but otherwise are you coming to say, yeah, Tori? You say what? This is Tori? Who's our who's like just so beautiful. There's a girl that hated you. I know for sure. She's tall, she's beautiful, she's like a runway model. And I was a Kappa and Tori was a Kappa, which is so you guys are automatically best friends and I don't guess and why I hired her that I would not have this job without having the legacy to co call upon too. Okay, read Weatherspoon. I don't believe you're the world. It is true that because I'm sure I'm breaking some sort of HR code here. But both my assistants were kappas at a different school than mine, but they are sorority sisters. We still have the same password and the same handshake. It does give them an advantage with me because I know we're in the bond you have a handshake. But I'll also say, it's just like sisters. You know, you you you talk crap about each other, you know, behind everything, but well you did talk crap about it. You know, I'm saying it does an example. But we all share the same last name as like a sister. Like that's your bond, you have your last name. It's kind of like that, like we're all sisters. We're gonna fight with each other, We're gonna be upset that you borrowed each other's hair spray without asking, but but it's like you all share the last thing that It's like we're all Kappas and we all choose to be in a story together, like you're choosing. It's like you're kind of choosing to love each other, like you're choosing to be in a sorority. You're going to choose to love each other through that and like just have that kind of be the end goal, you know, and like we choose you, you choose us. There is some LM in to it, and I'm sure people write in and have had a different experience, which I totally respect. But I can only say as Kappa's, we don't see Kappa's. Isn't that just like Daddy's credit card? Like I will beg no, listen, you're gonna find that maybe at some schools, but maybe maybe it's a jealousy thing. I look, I didn't go to college. I didn't, but I would never have signed up and I probably would have been and we would have been best friends. Like I could not live, like I would have started ceremony. But you don't act at least like break out, not just live. I mean, if you go to college, you live in the dorms, it's no different. It's just all girls. And we only had two girls. We had two girl rooms, so you just had to have two girls in your room. Did any girls like hook up? With each other any want to ask. No, nothing that I knew about. I mean, I'm all for it, but not you know, I'm sure that it happened like there there it was there one girl in your authority that you were like, I don't I don't like her wife. There's girls in my astority where I'm like, we probably don't share any common grounds. Maybe another person, but that would never make me feel a different way towards them, as being like, she's just a cap of sister, you know. So she called you the weird girl that was like, shouldn't have been in you would like pick up her phone and hang out with her? Yeah, but that's me. I think. I don't understand. Obviously you had friends that you're closer with or not as close with. You know what. Your bottom line, it's sorties are for some people and not brothers. Yeah, that's it. And it's not that I'm not a girl's girls. I love you. I love you, that's the thing. I know. You think I would have you so and you totally would have been a rush chair pledge. I don't drink like I don't get I had a sip of alcohol in my whole life. They don't make you. They don't make you do anything but give you candy and presents. I swear they don't make you do anything that candy. Are you trying to make me fat sabotazed? No, But I didn't drink till I was twenty one, and I thought for sure, like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna come in here and nobody's gonna accept me, Like how am I going to fit in with the cool frat boys? But you just like like it's just people were like, we know, we just want you to be here, and in this moment, you still don't buy it. And I'm telling you the best time. I just have a hard time so fun. I wish I could go move back in now. It was so terrible. I didn't do college, so I went to college and I it was not on my list of they seem it was not of my college bucket list. This is a good debate, though, so for the next episode next week. So email us is it Janna Kramer at Kramer at heart media dot com. I want to hear you some writing, sister, but some people don't like it and some people do, so it'll make like an interesting debate because I'm nothing but open minded. Yeah, I mean into each his own right. It was so awesome. It was so awesome. I tell you your your therapist. We actually had on a couple of weeks ago. She was a Capa Legacy and that's how we found her. The Colorado Leslie and you guys, he we did like I did the celebrity cappas, Oh marke Megan mar There's something hidden about Mega Markele. There's something dark about her. That's a whole another conversation. Yeah, I've talked about it before and I'm going to talk about it again. Hello Fresh, I'm obsessed with it. What is Hello Fresh? Hello Fresh is a meal kit delivery service that shops, plans, and deliver a step by step recipes and pre measured ingredients so you can just cook, eat, and enjoy. I was literally just having this conversation with a girlfriend of mine the other day. She was like, I'm obsessed with Hello Fresh too, and I was like, I know, isn't an amazing She's like, yes, I don't have to grocery show up and it shows up at my doorstep exactly the amount of things that I need, so there's no excess food left over. And what's also great about it is that there's so many times when you're reading a recipe you're like, I don't even I'll never use this ingredient ever again. But with Hello Fresh, it delivers exactly what you need just for that meal. Hello Fresh believes cooking should be simple and convenient, not a chore. So here's the deal. For a total of sixty dollars off, that's twenty dollars off your first three boxes, visit Hello Fresh dot com, slash cramer sixty and enter cramer sixty. It's like receiving six meals free or up to FIfF of three boxes. So I think that's a win for sure. And also it's so great about it is that there's so many benefits of actually subscribing, so you can keep enjoying Hello Fresh week after week. The accounted so easy to manage. You can choose your delivery day to everything you want and the meals that you want. Again, and for sixty dollars off, that's twenty dollars off your first three boxes, visit Hello Fresh dot com, slash cramer sixty and enter cramer sixty. I know I'm talking about Sarah a lot, but she was telling me that she's obsessed with the housewives and I've personally never watched any of them County Atlanta. It gives me, do you watch them? Of course? I get anxiety. That's what gives me anxiety. Is our girls like being just like vicious? Someone? Really, which one more give us? Like? New York? I get New York and New Jersey up, Bethany, Bethany Frankel, York. Bethany Frankel's New York. Yes, I saw her catch a couple of weeks ago. You did. Actually it was like a year ago, but that was really sad news that just happened. What happened? Shoot? You know it was an overdose? She's here? Oh my god, Hi, I'm so excited. Hi. All right, I'm super stoked because I have like the biggest personality ever in the studio right now. And you're stunning. You're so sweet. Thank you. This is what botox and filler look like, right, gorgeous. So I'm pregnant and I can't do botox right now, and I'm starting to get the lines. So start to hear that in your twenties something so But first of all, gonna be thirty five in December. Know what babe, I got a bronze. These things I can play. You're I mean, you're beautiful. Okay for those wives of Dallas, I've got Leanne lackin in studio and hey, Sarah, are you here? Baby? Hey babe, guess who's in the studio. Oh my god, stop, Oh my god. This is the official hot Dog. Don't you touch my listen, don't make me take this off my head. My girlfriend Sarah is literally obsessive. When she I told her that you were going to be on the show, she was like, I mean, what was your response, Sarah? I flipped out like I look, just one flip or was it like a backflip with a twist. I mean, we're talking Olympics here. We are gold metal, like landing on one foot. I've officially started sweating now and I might be wet, but don't worry. I got a panting lime on Sarah, so I need. So we kind of recapped the show about of last week's about how you know you? And I'm gonna tell lean this right now. You've been Sarah has been dating this guy for six years and can't get the ring. Oh dude, you gotta close your legs. That's that, and that's the tip. But you have to cut him off, cut him off or wait, is he like tremendously older than you? Because I don't know? No, Okay, oh yeah, because mine's only five years. But you know what, honest like too, I mean, I feel like it was a lot of pressure from my friends too, that they were like, that's how I am. I'm like, it's just so much outside pressure. But like, what did you do? I um, basically waited for the ring like a dodo butt because it took me nine years, So you got three more years, nine years. She got three more years. I just sit down and shut up and take it nine years that No, I don't want them for Sarah or you go ahead, Sarah. What we're gonna say yourself? Yeah, I'm exhausted. My weave is exhausted. But it's the it's the panty lana in your underwear, exhausted. Everything is exhausted. Anything I can't, I can't, I can't. Do you really wait for nine years? Okay? Do you live with him? Yeah? They live together? Well, of course, no, californ Um, But like, why why did you wait nine years? Well? Because that mind's the right one, and I'm to face it. I'm never going to find anybody to put up with my ask like he does. I mean, and he's a car so I don't go to jail. And I'm crazy, like legit, my mom had me tested. My mom had me tested. And I don't necessarily belong in an institution, but I would sure fit in't. Oh my god, I'm having right now. I'm sorry, We'll come on down. I'll wait for you. I mean, she didn't give him birth yet. She's in New York right now with your boyfriend. Of I'm sorry, you don't have that kind of time. Oh you're in New York. Well that runs high. I just stick good at stick it out. No, she lives, No, she lives here. She's just she's following him places. Yeah. Yeah, I help him. Yeah, it's just the whole thing. You you help him, help and hope, Like it's a long story. He does like hockey schools for kids, and like I'm involved in his dad and she does like the hockey school with him. Yeah, he sounds like a super nice guy. He wants to work with kids. You know you're gonna get pregnant, but she wants to ring first. Yeah, you gotta do it in order. I mean, that's and she's from Texas. Why I'm childless because you're from Dallas. After years to take a ring, so none's crawling out of me except for something that I took an xlex to get out. See, this is what you don't want, Sarah. Okay, this this can be you in a couple of years. So I'm motivated, like right now, but you know what, just just you just keep them. You get pictures and you know, you show them the shapes and the things you like, and you've already done all that ye recently though, like that was the thing. What does he say is the reason? He just his reason is like, I mean, hello at the years, but he's like, what you know, what's the rush? You know why he will the rush is that I have over reason. They dry up rambling, so I will just say do you or don't you? Because if you don't, just let me go so that I can, like at least try with someone else. I mean, look, I'm young, I'm fresh, but you know, give me time because like when I left, when I left the one before Rich, I mean, do the fact that Rich picked me up. I was like, yeah, really, how did you meet him? Oh, how did I meet him? Um? So, Um, I was at the Ritz Carlton in Dallas and I went with a friend on a Thursday night, you know because I used to be the place to go and um, and he saw me and then apparently he knew my friend who was we were both models back then, and so he went to her Facebook page and like found me and her friends and then started messaging me, which I thought was totally cute to flirt with me on Facebook. But then it was like, you know, do you want to go out? And I was like, dude, I don't take people from the internet. That sounds so stupid, like everything. And then he was like, well google me, and I was like that is the most conceited thing I've ever freaking heard. You want me to google your ass and before or after I've sleep with you, I mean, come on, it's ridiculous. So but then, you know what, we hadn't ever like officially met. But then when I finally agreed to go out with them, I opened the door and y'all, I was like, he's a shit shit. I mean like I was like, it's not menial, yeah, and and I mean like I opened the door and I thought, did I brush my teeth or my underwear clean? Did I save everything? Sure I had not. I'm pretty sure later that night when he was running his hand up and down my leg that he was like braiding the hair on but it didn't stop him. So I mean like he has stuck through some serious and so it's been nine years. Um, it's will in February we celebrate ten years and we're still not married. So when did you get engaged? A freaking ring? Until all your friends? I gave it to you and then they'll lay off. And then that did you buy? Did you buy yourself that ring? He bought you that right? Yes, it's his heart of hearty Sarah, it's the heart. It's got three hearts on it. No, it's got a market you know, it's got three diamonds. Want to be but he's a police officer. I literally thought that his father was a money manager and managed money for a lot of really wealthy people. And then when his sadly his father contructed lung cancer and it metastasized into his brain and he and I took care of his father until his father passed. And so his father left all of the children very well off, and so do you have any regrets of not having kids? No? Have you seen kids? Sorry monkeys with teeth? No, regrets of not doing it like sooner, Like do you look back and you're like I wish I like we were married like five years ago. Really No, I'm so like go with the flow and you so you've just never had the maternal instinct you didn't want You've never wanted kids, so you don't want to see like, I'm just not kid frondly does he have children? Yes? He has a twenty year old Okay, yeah, do you now like girl or boy? Girl? Do you guys get We get along great, we get along. About the ex wife? Um, I don't really have to deal with her. I mean right because the child is grown, she's an adult. Yeah, thank god, yeah saying that thing. No, not at all. I just I'm just so curious because it's like I've like when I was like five, I was like I want to be a mom, like just like you have that maternal nurturing and I love women that know that the way they don't that you grew up with a mother and a father and you had a nice childhood. No, No, I mean I grew up with a mom and a dad, but they were divorced. My dad. I caught my dad cheating like the whole nine yards, so it's like and then you know, I dated that men from there. But I've always wanted to be a mom. Like but I love the fact that, like when women know that they're just like this is I don't and it's okay. And I was. I was abandoned by my mother and my biological father divorced my mother before that, and my grandmother gratefully took me in. And then I was sexually molested for the next eight years by my best friend's father across the street every other weekend. So I didn't have any desire to bring a child into a world that I felt would do nothing but torture it. Right, But what about changing that? Did you ever think my time changing other people's lives? Like, That's why I do so much charity and nonprofit and reach out to my community. That's my thing. I pay it forward. I don't want to see anybody with shame, shame kills, I don't want to see anybody suffer. I am about making other people's lives better because I know what it's like to not have a great life. Wow, well that's beautiful. But that's amazing though that you you you didn't become bitter from that, you'd become a you know drug, you have a choice. Well, you know. And I've had a lot of friends like when I tell them the whole, like everything that I went through, They're like, how are you not a crack hooker? And I'm like, well, by the grace of God. And you know, I make mistakes and I'm gonna keep falling because I'm human. But at the same time, if I don't try every day to wake up and be better, do better, live better, give better, then that's my own damn faults. And you have nobody to blame and talk crop about but me. But because I get up every day and live acts two, I've pitched my tent in the land of hope. Mind you, Sometimes that tent isn't a damn swamp and I'm swimming from a lab with a date or but you know, I'm still pitching it. I'm still trying. And that's what life is about, dude. You don't Life doesn't end until you quit. So don't quit. Don't quit, because tomorrow is gonna be different. I love that. Hey, Sarah, we gotta take a call from Joe Nichols. So I love you. We'll talk soon. You want to say, Battie your love of your life? Fine, you got a girl, you can get that rainy Um. So I'm playing a show with Um, Toby, Keith, Nelly, Joe Nichols. So we'd have to take a call from Joe really fasty mind, and you can just google him. He's real cute, so you can jump on alien Joe. Hey, Darlin, it's Janna. And by the way, I have a studio filled with ladies right now. Hello, Hi Joy are you Oh there's that country boy? Hey? How ex? I didn't are you to come play a l A very sad? I think I've always heard of the form, I've never been there, And you've never been to l A. No, he's never been to the Oh. Okay, for people listening that don't know, the Forum is like an iconic venue in l A. And Jenna will explain. But this is like so crazy what you're doing that it's a tailgate fest. So people can actually go to this concert in their trucks and watched the show from their tailgate. Yeah, that's exactly right. I don't have many trucks there are in LA. But yeah, hey, my husband's got a truck. So he's the one out of something, you know, so he'll he'll at least bring his truck. But hey, Joe, what's that thing you're you're you just released the Tradition Country Songs this year. Yes, Um, it's called to Never Gets Told Traditional Country Series. Basically what it is is, um, I went back and took some of my favorite songs growing up, country songs by some of my favorite country singers. That it's just a series. We released the song every month that uh, there's one from a like a throwback song like that like no getting from Me for money Mills. Yeah, people that are closer to my age in the room, I'll know that song. You can try anything you I love that. Thank you very quick Country radio right now, you have any are you releasing any more singles? Or what's going on? Tommy Tommy Thomas. We had it's been kind of a UM, I don't know how to put it, but it's been kind of a whirlwind of events. Again, they closed the labels, the imprint that I was on and kind of absorbed me into a different label. In that time, we had a song called Billy Graham's Bottle that, um, you know, there's the staff. Half the staff was gone so they couldn't like really keep working, and so in the shuffle, you know, Billy Gram's Bottle was kind of lost. But I think going to go in and recording new stuff and I'm writing and looking for songs and and well, I love that, and I love you. I think you're awesome. You've always been very sweet to me every time I've opened for you, So thank you for that. And um, I'm excited to see you in l A at the Forum tailgate party. It's gonna be fun. September one, Labor Day weekend. You can go to uh l A tailgate Fest dot com to get your tickets. I love you, Joe, I love y'all to thank you very much. And if you want to see Joanna at the tailgate fest, you can go. We're raising money for charity for the Red Cross, so you can go to if only dot com and bid on two tickets, v I P tickets, pit passes and you get to meet Joe Nichols and Randy Houser not me apparently, but that's fine. Were good are Yeah, it's cool. I'm fine whatever, just just it's all good. I've been so busy. I'm the first. It's all good. I'm the first person to be playing that show. It's it's fine. I'll just don't don't seem better about this at all. I don't at all. His doctor friends will be like, they're like raging on. So it's cool. They'll be like five people for me. But if you guys want to come early and support, you know, a little people, come on, she's not so little people, She's pregnant. Yeah, I got two people the name Hey, okay, so can I just read this for tou liam. It says Leanne is determined to change her impulsive behavior with the help of medication meditation. But you can read it as medication and if you've got some past, yeah, see what pregnancy does to you people? Nothing good. You think this is bad, wait till the kid comes out? Literally underlined it two. I was like, wow, she's that's that's very vocal to do medication about, like your impulsive behavior meditation. You're not miss that medication, don't you? Because you're pregnant? I know right. My head is so cloudy. Um, so to talk to me about so you're like admitting that you have an impulsive behavior totally do from my childhood. Actually, Um, for the first time at the season two reunion, I really challenged myself. I said, I want to take behavioral management. I want to learn how to manage my anger. I'm not very good. I'm very quick to anger, and trust me, nobody wants to give me angry Satan himself doesn't want to come for me. Okay, Um, So I said, I want to I want to do therapy alter my behavior. Well, I found out that actually you can't. There's a part of your brain called the amygdala, and it's your fight flight or freeze part of your brain. So when you're amgdala kicks in, especially if you have PTSD like I do, the entire rest of your brain shuts down and all the blood goes to your amygdala. It's a survival instinct. So I literally can't alter my behavior because my behavior is keeping me alive. So when you're a child, if you're tortured, you amygdala grows exponentially, and the larger that you're amigdala is the faster you react. So and then it's why you do sorry meditation. So monks have been the only people and that have shown to be able to shrink through migdala because they spend so much of their time meditating. So I took up meditation. I made sure to meditate every morning every time before we went and filmed. I was just I found my zen and you know, you can just watch the girls try to get me out of my zoon. I was just, is there, like is it tam transidental meditation or is it literally just I m I went and did a meditation class with David's Sunshine, the director of the Dallas Yogi Center, that's his real name. Like, I want to be Land Sunshine. I just want to be that. I at least want the rainbows and the glitter one bang one bang um. So I took a class in it, and then he was kind enough to gift me a meditation bowl and so I take it home, and you know, I took it with me on if your drops, let's face it every now and then. Banging the bowl really helped. So yeah, basically I'm just a bowl banging be this year. So, I mean, you obviously have a personality that's but you also have such like you have the person no you have trauma from your childhood, you have you know, like, do you sometimes put on that persona to mask that or is that just is that just your way of being like trying to be fun and funny and I like to be Listen, I've lived the minutia who wants to swim through it on a daily base. So you're like, I want to be happy, I want to be I want to have fun. I'm the fun girl. I'm the party girl. I'm the one that every one of my friends is like, oh my gosh, we're gonna have this event when you come sat at the table because you'll make the party. I'm the fun table. And so for me, it's hard because I've never really gotten to be able to show that to my cast members because they don't ever want to see that. They want to be like bully beast Bear, Well why don't you show them that the other side? And they're not you Listen, you can put blinders on a horse, but that doesn't mean they're going to see something through the blinder. But what if you get real, like real vulnerable and honest about I've done that, You've tried, yeah, yeah, really, Like I mean, look, I did actual therapy on camera last year with a real therapist that I've basically told my therapist last year. If I if you don't break me every time I'm in here, you're wasting my time. I have no time to just sit here. And I can chat with anybody. I can go down to Starbucks and chat with somebody. I want to learn, I want to grow. I can't do that without guidance. And so that's one of the things that I constantly am learning and growing. And I'll show you on my phone. There's actually a place in Dallas that I plan on starting to go to. It's a it's a neurological center where they put a cap on you and it just you stare at a really peaceful thing and then you get to see what your brain is actually going through in this moment of peace. And my brain is what's called hyper vigilant. It never stops, it's always going. It's if things are good, it's like, when's a crap and fallout, who's gonna tip me? How did the anger management classes work? Because I know my husband had to take some because he's got like he's got a very short temper and he it's it's it's been. Luckily, he's taken anger management therapy and he's gotten so much better, But it's still like when that's a part of you, like when it's your core, and when people push your triggers, and so what you have to do is change your triggers, and you're everyone's going to get to see that. This year, I changed my buttons. So you can type all you want, but you're gonna have to hit nipples to get me to go, well, how did you how did you change? How did you change your triggers? Therapy hard, hard, weekly work. Does rich go to therapy with you? Sometimes he's gone with me just so that um, he can understand what it's like to go through like I mean, for instance, I'm actually now with a brand new therapist, and one of the things that I never knew. Part of my anger comes from the fact that I'm pissed at my three year old self for never telling anybody what I was going through. And my therapist just like, have you do you know what a three year old looks like? And I'm like, no, I don't, well you from your three year old, But my three year old takes over. She's so angry at the world and I'm as an adult so mad at her for not telling somebody. Yeah, And so for the first time when my therapist was like, you know, Lee, and I'm really proud of your three year old self because she did the right thing. She kept her mouth shut, she took it, and she survived. Not a lot of three year old survived. And and what's crazy too, and like a relationship because Michael and I did a whole intensive It was like, I'm I always go to my five year old self, and he always goes to his you know, and his is another age, So are fourteen and five year old? Yeah? And I don't Yeah, I just want to be loved and told I'm good enough. And that's your five year old that didn't get that. So my seven year old didn't get that. My seven year old never got my mother's approval or my mother's love. I never I was never told I was good enough for my mom. So when your own mother doesn't want you, why would anybody else? Exactly? So there's also so I have variations of all that, but you know that that what my therapist says to me is do you really want your five year old self front in your line? No? And that's the thing you have to you have to speak from here and that, but it takes so it's like, oh my god, I never realized that I was speaking from my five year old self the internet and I didn't either. And you know what, though, when you revelation is amazing the change, and it's like, I mean, and you know what I do now. I actually have a picture of my three year old self on my desk. Michael has a picture of me five year old in his wallet. So it's like he's because he knows now not to attack that five year old and I speak, You're like, no, it's but it's work. But it's amazing though, and I'm doing it all on national television. Okay, So there's here's my question for that. How like, what made you you just like open book, don't care because you know what, Look, did you think when I walked intoday you were going to talk about this or we were going to connect on this level? Not at all? So think about how many millions of people are out there struggling and not understanding why they can't communicate with one another, and we're giving him the answer. I'm going to lead him through how to make it better. And if I can first of all give someone the answer of what the hell is going on and then give them the steps to take to be a happier person, why wouldn't I want to do that? Listen, honey, Jesus Christ nailed himself to a cross and bled to death. I'm not going to go that far, but I'm willing to go through the rest of it. So why not help other people pay it forward? I've listen at this point, You're not going to torture me or say something to me that I haven't already survived. That's to live it out though on national TV, especially with girls being so vicious pett Yeah, I mean, doesn't that denis get to you at all? It's it's it's them, It's their problem, not mine. Yeah, but there's nothing that creeps in. Remember that's true. And I'm very grounded, and I know who I am. The one thing that my grandmother gave me is I know who I am, where I am, and when I am do. I make mistakes and I own every single one of them, and I apologize for them, but I don't disguise them or make excuses for them. Is it getting easier as you get older? One you care less. Like at forty, I felt like I was better than thirties. I'm hoping girl, that middle finger gets a lot of use. I feel like, as you like creep into your forties, I felt like that's when I just you breathe. You breathe, and that's why Bethany says it, but that's why you know. But like you breathe and then you're like, oh wait, because here's your twenties. It is all about you. You know, it's all about you. Every time everybody says something it's about you. Thirties you're like, were they talking about me? Is this about me? And then forties you're like, listen, honey, this is your damn problem. And come fifty you're like, really need to figure that out because that does So you're as far as you guys, But I'm tag you're it. No, But I just I do love the fact that you have. You have you have sold to you have a story, and you have heart and you're not just playing a character. Now. I'm not trying to sell you anything. I'm just here, thank you. If I live my authentic life and it benefits one person, then my life will not have been in vain and all that struggle and all the minutia I went through, you know, had a purpose exactly. That's what I was saying, take the pain and make it a purpose. And that's what that has been my journey my entire life. I am one of the of all my cast I probably am the one person who's in my community the most hands on bringing awareness. Um you know, I live and breathe happiest in my LGBT community. Um I just I feel at peace with other people who struggle, and I feel a connection, and I feel like I just want to, like I want to take their pain. I just want to, you know, inhale their pain away and give them a moment of happiness. And so if I can do that, that's you know, worth everything I have to go through to get there. I don't care how these girls torture me. I really don't. Seriously, I love you. That's what. That's what's that's what. Vodka for the Real Housewives of Dallas Season three airs of Wednesday at nine eights Central on Bravo. Leanne, thank you for being a beautiful light coming into our in our studio and being authentic Yellow Dress. It was so much fun well, you'll have me back sometime for sure, Okay. I love fab fit Fun And the reason why I love it is because I feel like every single time the boxes come to the house, it's like Christmas. I get face masks and beauty blenders and I Sative to tea towels and um skinning Company, Roma Blue and shower jaw, Like everything just comes to me and I'm like, Wow, this is great. There's full size products, no samples of anything. It's a fantastic value as well. 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Jen and I both have been, um, just the dose of housewives today, and I'm just I'm excited because I feel like all three of women have such different personalities. Yes, and you're on the Potomac. I'm a set Potomac Potomac. So you have two kids and you're pregnant right now. I'm pregnant too today. Oh my god, I'm how many weeks are you? Oh my god? Me too? Oh my god. Well, I'm I'm do technically my do day. It's a few days after years. But I have a scheduled c section because I had a c section with my first one, and I just don't want to do be back. Yes, oh my god, is back. It's it's where like if you had a c section and then you do have vagina vagina vaginal birth, your c section scar could burst and you could like hemorrhie and diet. I'm like, oh, I'm good. Like yeah, I'm like, I'm not going to have you had natural all of them? Yes, yes, okay, well that's awesome and oh my god, I'm just like I keep telling my husband because he's six six three something town this is too. We know when my husband's cocktails after we dropped these babies, all yes, seriously, and I'm like that's why. I'm like, because do you know if you're having a boy or a girl. No, we're waiting for the push. Okay, you're waiting for the us. Okay, well we're having a boy. And like again, my husband's sex sex, he's not, um, I think he's like two something, but he's like he's he's have long babies. Your babies come out long. My three year old is looks like a five year old. Yeah, my five year old looked about ten. Yeah, was like, um, how old is he again? Exactly, he's he's huge and he's but and you push that out. Oh my girl. I told my husband I don't know what, but I was clearly meant to have your babies. I mean, my husband, my son was almost ten, Towns and you did you tear. Did you tear it all? No? I didn't. Was amazing, Like he his time and he did the whole perennial what's they called the perennial perennial massage or whatever it's called, um, where they like move you up before the baby comes out. You're not going to there, We're gonna take our task. Oh my gosh. Good. And I told him. I was like, listen, um, my husband wants four. And I told him this baby has already caused us to have to push our due dates forward, pushed up a week. It's it's already big. And I'm like, look, unless you plan on reconstructing this bo vagina, Like I don't know what we're gonna crazy? Oh my god? Do you well, what do you want? Do you want for? Or you find the three? You know, I'm fine with three. I was fine with two. Yeah, same disease. Right, Um, but you know, once to once they get all independent and stuff, and you kind of missed that baby stage. So I know that's so we're just we're just talking about that because my daughter goes to her first day preschool um tomorrow and it's just like I love the independence. At the same time, I'm excited to have the baby now because I'm like, I want a baby again, you know, I wanted, like I want to feel that baby and umzing What I also love too is, um, we also meant not only our husband's sexex and we're both of the so many weeks pregnant together, but you've also had um a miscarriage as well, and I've been very vocal about my miscarriage is too, so UM. I actually, um went on your Twitter and I was seeing some of the things you were posting about it, and UM, yeah, it's it's amazing. I don't know if you had the same um issue as me, but I'm sure you can relate. UM. I did an article on my mom based business, like on a website not for Lazy moms dot com, and I talked about pregnancy after miscarriage and how I was afraid and it took me a little while to really start to enjoy this pregnancy. And now I'm like, I'm trying to push you out of my head. I'm you know, just trying to like really enjoyed the same way I enjoyed my mother too. You know, Monique, I hear you more than anything, and Honestly, it's I had a count out on my phone to twenty four weeks because I've just now started to be able to be like, okay, if the baby was born now, it could possibly have like a sixty percent chance of living. And I still look, this is so morbid. But every time like this is like t M I too. Every time I go to the bathroom, I look to see if there's blood. Yes, I wrote an article, did you Oh my god, I have to reach the article. I'm getting chills. But yeah, it's like and it had no idea, but it's it sucks because we can't because because I still even though I'm twenty four, even though I'm like, okay, there's a chance that if the baby came now would be okay. But there's still that chance. And because we've like you know, I've had multiple miscarriages, and it's just with you too. It's like I haven't gotten to the point where I can really relax yet and I have the monitor or I have the the the Doppler mark that hop. So it's like I try not to do every day. I'm trying to do it every other day. But if I don't feel it, you know, feel the baby boy moving and I start freaking out. I'm like, I'm not for me. I almost think that I don't deserve, like I don't not have that I don't deserve it, but that it's not going to happen. I don't know, I just have It's it's so scary. It's like it can't be that good. It's it can't because a way. Yeah, no, I totally feel you, But girl, just try to indulge in a moment and just you know, try to figure out a way to just like push it out of your head and just like you know, like one thing it taught me and I'm sure you can relate as well. Um, we have literally no control. I'm like, you know, like we literally have no control, but I think we do, like my head says that we do. Yeah, like my girlfriends, Like some of my girlfriends are fine with drinking wine during pregnant and no judgment if women do. And I know that one sip of wine wouldn't hurt me, but God forbid, if I took one sip of wine and something happened to the baby, I'd blame myself for the rest of my life. Yeah, and even with me, like I can't even stand the smell of it. Like my husband drinks our favorite wine weekly and my husband did that, I would be so bad that last like right there, and I'm just like just the smell of it. I'm just like ill like that. It's so crazy because I loved wine girl, and it's saying every night like, yeah, I'm not pregnant. It's like my it's my sanctuary, my best friend. Ye and now it's like my favorite thing to drink is like a cinnamon tea with a little creamer. That's How are you on the Housewives? You're so nice? Trust if you if you ever watched the episode, you'll be like, what are you doing? Well? Now, I'm like, now I'm going to because I just feel like we have so much in common and I can't wait to read's name your blog again? What is it? It's not for Lazy Moms dot com? And you have a podcast, don't you with Heart Radio? Okay girl another Yeah, we just launched it two weeks ago, so congratulations, thank you. It's releasing on Wednesday. And it's funny because my husband is one of my co hosts. I love, so it's really funny, like you get to see a different side of us um outside of the show, because we're totally like totally being ourselves and he's so unfiltered and people just cracked up and left. He's hilarious. What is what is your husband's background? What's his what do Oh? Yeah, he actually played for Washington Redskins. Husband. Oh my god, where this lilired? Yeah? My husband played. He played for so he plays rookie here in Jacksonville, and then he played four years in Buffalo and then he played his last year and Redskins but he ended up getting hurt and never he only played um like the preseason and then got her and then he retired. What year was that? Oh god, it was it was four years ago. Okay, so my husband was already out. Wow, okay, that's so crazy. Eight years ago. Yeah, about to say if you were here at the same time, I know that, but no, But I definitely my husband. He's on the show a lot too, and it's like they I love I love I don't know. I love that our husbands have stuff that they want to say, you know, and they have their own personalities and oh my god, yeah, I love it. We do a topic on the private part, whether or not. We think it's the good idea to teach the kids the real name versus like the nicknames. That's good. And this this podcast he opened all the way up and he was so funny because my daughter, she likes to bust in the bathroom. She's three now, but now she knows like, oh, daddy has a penis, mommy has a vagina. And so my husband's like, oh yeah, I can't be thinking about her anymore because she she has ways to observe it. That's funny. Well here, so that's my question for you too, is because I was taking a shower. I take a showers with my daughter, and then she like put her like if I was like, oh wanni, no, no, like we don't touch that that that's like mommy's private part, like and you have one too, and she like was like touching hers and then like you know, then my husband has taken a shower with her before too, and he likes she's like definitely touched his wei and it's like, oh my god, He's like joely no like but it's like they don't know. So it's like that is that when you like stop like yeah, well when she she actually we shared the story. She actually walked into bathroom. My husband had just gotten up a shower. He's reaching for his towel and she just stopped leans to the side with the hand in her hip. But she said, Daddy, is that your penis? He was like at that moment, she was too. At the time, we were like, we're done, so he can't. He can't put her in a shower with him anymore, which just sucks because it's so convenient, right, you're trying to just get washed super fast. Now it's like I got this belly sticking out in the way, and I have to be the one hers and washed them up, and and he lotions them. And yeah, my daughter, she loves checking herself out. I'm like, why did she do this? By the way, isn't shaving so hard when you're pregnant. I was shaving this morning and I was just like, this belly is like in the way, and I'm like trying to like shave my life because and it's like probably have patches everywhere. Yeah. I got to that point where Chris had to just start like he puts my shoes on for me. He actually saved my legs um a few times when I was pregnant with my son because my daughter, I thought, why with her, well, my son, I just stopped straight out. Yeah, that's kind of like, yeah, that's why I was with my son. Straight out straight out. Yeah, I really, if I had to guess, I would say that I'm carrying a boy for sure, because it's like sticking straight out like it's it's so weird. It reminds me of my pregnancy with my son all over again. What's your least favorite thing of being in the Housewives? Um? I do not like that. I'm a control freak. So when I'm watching episodes, I don't like that I don't have control over you know, what's being shown because I'm wait, why didn't make the rest? I remember when this tapp it? You know. So that's probably like my least favorite thing. Um, so you'd be a really great producer, Oh I would. Oh see, I'm such a control Even my producers they crack up at me all the time because I'm always trying to like tell them what to do that like you were you were so funny thinks that listen to that. So it's nice we work together. Girl. When you are in l A and our babies are out. Let's have a glass of wine. What do you say? Okay, and my brother live in l A. Okay, come out. I will definitely reach out. All right, let's do it so in the end, you know, December on baby, I'm game. So I'm like, let's do it. Thank you so much for having for coming on the show. And I'm excited to listen to your podcast and go and also your blog and everything. So not for lazy moms. I cannot wait to meet you. Oh ditto girl, Yes, okay, all right, thanks, bye bye. Oh I could be friends with her? Well, yeah, you guys are living pearl all live. Yeah. I love her literally, she's awesome. She's so I feel like we need to have like her husband on two and then like my gone and then like do like that'd be like cute. We need to ask her. I was thinking about it because I wanted to know not for lazy moms. Sorry, no, it's okay, so next time, mental No, I want to ask her because we all have lazy mom moments, some more than others. I want to know what her lazy mom moment is. You have one, probably like putting on the TV when I don't really have to put on the TV. You know what I mean, I know what about you it's putting on the TV. It's also, um rock close at that age where he doesn't he doesn't always want to take a bath or a shower. And sometimes I'm like, you know what, I don't feel like fighting. Yeah, no, I totally get that. It's always like fighting baths. But she's got really bad skin, so I was like, technically I shouldn't give her a bath every day. So, but I mean, she gets so dirty. I know, they get so dirty. I'm like, it's like wash, wipe, I know. I like, I'll give you a sponge bath. Um. This was a really fun show and I kind of do want to watch now. I'm telling you, I'm flying tomorrow. I'm gonna where are you going in New York? Okay? Cool? Um? For work? And I am going down to a marathon. You're running a marathon? No, I'm gonna. Well, that's I mean, I am too. I kind of want to start with I think I not to like play favorites, but Monique and Ellen, I think like we could be friends first and then then I'll watch Leanne with Sarah or something. I don't know if she's so entertaining. I think I might start with them, yeah, because I just feeling that show is full of fire. I just the masks. I like. I liked when she got vulnerable, So that's my like, that's where I'm like, get there, like stay there, stay there with me. But then you have to make people laugh. It's like, you don't have to make us laugh, just be real, like, just be you, be authentic. I love. Yeah, I know that was so hard. I get that. Well, this was fun. I'm excited. I'm gonna go prepare myself for taking Jolie Debrey school. Our hearts will be breaking through.