It’s moving week for Jana and Mike! Things aren’t going exactly as planned, and they’re realizing the differences in how they each tackle projects.
Parenting comedian Kristina Kuzmic stops by to share some wisdom she’s picked up along the way. She opens up about her struggle with poverty earlier in life and she lets us in on her secret to keeping passion in your marriage.
Plus, Mike has no idea that one of his idols, Shawn Stockman from Boyz II Men is calling in!
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Wind down with Jannet Kramer, Michael Cousin and I heard radio podcast Pan Panta. It's moving day, Moving day? How stressed are you right now that you're not at the house. It's directing the movers where I cannot run out of here fast enough because I'm such a I would call myself an amazing delegator. It needs to be a more intense word than amazing. What does need to be um I don't even know. I can't come up with the vocabulary for it. I just I like to delegate and the fact that I'm not there right now with the movers because we had such a bad experience moving out of our national house to hear because because you're hired sixteen year old kids that were stealing all of our stuff. I did not hire six year ol kids. They were a company, and I don't think I could say the company, but they hired sixteen year old kids, and they stole our booze, interest tried to steal alcohol. They tried to steal alcohol, and then they broke a couple of pieces of furniture, and then they threw all of our stuff into the storage unit and it just it looks like everything is short. It looks like every I was so angry that I couldn't be there. Of all things to not skimp on, they say the movers is one of them. It sounds like you guys were cutting costs. Um Michael stretching here. No, no, no, no no, So I I somehow got in charge of this some some somehow, she just somehow, she didn't say, I got it, I'll I'll be there. I got it. You weren't even there when we moved, and then for some reason you wanted to take a flight out the same day, thinking oh yeah, the mover said they'll be done by three. What they said, No one's ever done on time. How did you find these people? I used them before. It's you know, all of my brothers, but changed the name a company. They're a very big company, okay. And I called and and they weren't the cheapest route, but they they did a terrible job. But we did call and we talked to the company and they gave us. But it's just gonna break my heart because when I showed him when we went back to Nashville a couple weeks ago, I showed him with the storage un it looked like and it literally looks like I mean, there's broken side glasses and side tables and all of our faces look broken because they just threw it in there. It looks like a dumpster at the dump where they put all the furniture, but in the origin. And that's my bad because I shouldn't have left that day. But we were flying to fourth of July for vacation, so I had everything planned. You know, if people aren't up to Jam's plan, ruins everything. Hey, I did already. Anyways, Anyways, this is the fact. So here we are again, though we're it's still not there for the move. Now. I've got this movers, but I trust this movie company. My friend Chris Guy I used to know Wisconsin. He moved from Wisconsin Florida recently and he made news on this because he went to the news to try to bust these people. They loaded his stuff, they made him pain ash red flag. There were a bunch of red flags and he didn't see his stuff for like two and a half months. What and then it was calmed, said oh no, we got it's coming, notes coming, Yeah, we got it. We'll be there tuesday. Than they wouldn't show up tuesday, and this weeks and weeks and months went by. He had to go in the local news. He got picked up in different cities, like he's really because he went on a Facebook group and tons of people have the same problem with the same company. They just steal your stuff? Whose company? What was it? I should look up the name of the company? Yeah you should. But he ended up getting a stuff back. A lot of it was broken and some of it was stolen, but he got most of it back, and he had already been convinced he was never getting any of it back, so he considered that a win and he's moving on. But he got now. And he'll be the first to admit he should have done more research, the yelled reviews, the better business, your bureau check, he should have done all that. He he saw a great deal and he took it. Yeah, that kind of stuff you got to Yeah, well, I we got this mover from Instagram because when someone on Instagram, like I said, who's your who's your favorite moving companies? And and this girl was like, oh, my brother's friend or whatever works for the company. Well they've been great because the guy that owns the company came to the house. Yeah, Ryan, he's amazing. He's been on a direct line basis with North American Moving Company. This is not an ad, but they're They've been great so far. So that's why. But today, today's d day. Today's when we find out how great they are. That's true. And I'm so stressed out i am. It's all champagne problems. But I'm i'm, I'm, i am very stressed because we don't actually know when we're closing on our house because things keep getting This is my wife at our finest well, no here, let me just break it down for you guys. So we were told we're going to close on the okay of May and June okay, June okay, But something happened with their pool company, and so I'm not gonna say their name, no, but so we again, we took out a loan to get a pool because it's expensive to have a pool, right, So we took out a loan or line of credit, um, and we picked up the pool and we tried to go a little cheaper route because this other route was more expensive. So but we all I said, my number one thing is I want a splash pad for the kids. I wanted to be six to seven inches of water. Something that's great that we can sit in with a chair or even just like a little kiddie splash pad, and then the rest of it can be for the adults. Okay, but then shoot up out of it because when I think a splash but we didn't. We opted not for that. Yeah, so just you know, just a regular splash pad. And they're like, oh, great, absolutely no problem at all, totally totally, it's gonna be amazing. So the girl that works the company sent me a picture of the pool when it was getting put into the ground, and I'm looking at it and I was like, it's about the pool. I think wants about her pool, but it's let me just on a second. So she sends me a picture of the pool and I was like, that doesn't look like a splash pad. So I'm like, this is interesting. So they put the shell in the ground and then we go there like a month or so later, and I was like, Michael, where are they filling the water up to? And he's like this line. I was like, how deep is that? Two and a half feet? So me sitting in the splash pad would be water up to my forehead. So then I this is how is that perfect? Because my daughter couldn't sit in that, my son will like he will not be able to even be in the pool at all. Now I can't even sit because I'll have to hold him above my head. Well I'm sitting like like simba okay. So this is where I go bad. This is where I need to learn to be a better person, because I go straight to I email I'm sorry, I text message the girl. Where in your right mind do you think that this is a splash pad two and a half feet? This is effing ridiculous. And I sent a picture of me with the the the tape measure How is that to where to where it was measured? How is that? Like we're we're in your brain? Is that perfect for kids? And Michael's like, what is that going to do? Do you want? Or do you want? I want their logic And that's the thing. I want the logic of honestly what you thought, like just like you know how you say to me, Mike, why would you ask me a question when I'm making a peanut butter and Jela sandwich? I want a little social awareness, situational awareness. Yeah, it's his favorite, but I want to know, like in your like seriously, right mind, And they've never answered that question, so it really bothers me. So long story short, they had to take the pool thing out and now we have to pay more money because they're like, oh yeah, no, they can't do a splash pad like that, well, so take out more. So now they they're like, what we promised. This won't delay your clothing. We promise, this will not delver. This will not all delay I know, but let me just then, will not delay stop it right now, this will not delay your your your closing. Well, I'm about to sit down and I'm reading an email and I got an email from the builders saying we're now delayed because your pool won't be done, and I was like, are you having serious? I was like, I am furious. What's funny about this is this was all in the last few days since then, before this episode, we've gotten it taken care of. But I don't we have we've had the solution, and I don't think we have We're back on track. I don't think still has those feelings though. Why because it's because we still haven't gotten the email. I mean, we are a week away from potential closing and we still have not gotten an email from our builders saying we can close, and I have a feeling the pool company is going to somehow screw this up, and I just like, screw it. But I'm just and again again. What what like getting after them and attacking them? What is that going to solve when it comes to something as complicated as a house finishing and closing. Let me tell you why I don't want them to rush. I don't either. I don't want them to have ask something. What's the difference between a week? Let me tell you what the difference is. Because your wife has literally planned everything. I know, because you had the movers come at the first possible time that we can close. I had to there's no other way to be able to share the moving truck with our friend Julie. So that's the thing. So the movers from here to Nashville, their delivery window is the thirteenth for the night. There is no giving there's no leeway, there's no given room here. Yea, So I said no, but that was was there that we were going to pay five thousand dollars more money. So this way we were able to share a moving van with Julie. Would you have done differently, Darling, No, I need you held it perfectly. No, I'm curious would you have handled it differently? It's just for me. I mean, we have different and I think this is where we actually, you know, counterbalance each other well, because there's times where you get a bit of news and you just want to immediately make that call, send that email, say what the you know, what the F this that the other I'm like, honey, let's just give it a second. Let's giving a second, do though, because like even with the pool stuff, they talked to Justin after we sent them me an email after I sent the skating email saying how dare you promise that this was not going to hold our delay? And you were like call him, call him, call him, call him. I'm like, I'm going to call him, get up right now and go call him. And when I called him and it went to his voicemail. You know why it went to his voicemail because he was on the phone with our builder trying to figure it out. Because I sent a text message to his daughter saying I will not promote this company and I will not tell my neighbors because of you. You said that this would not delay our closing. So I just said, speak on your word and or tell us like call us. I don't want to hear this third hand from like the builder come to us and say, you know what, I messed up on the timing because I have, you know, all these all these pieces, and it's just been so frustrating because I'm like, if not, then we're gonna have to get in our storage unit to store all this stuff. I'm just more the one that just all right, let's let's talk to everybody involved, let's figure this out, and then we'll go from there. So clearly this is a stressful situation. How is this affecting your relationship? Because I think the best couples, which I count you among those, you do, of course, right, fight more often, bicker more off, or not get more often in these stressful situations. Have you found that to be the case. No, Well, that's good, and I think it's it's because and I give Janet Jannet credit for that too, actually now that you bring it up, because she's able to understand how my personality works. So she understands that I'm a little bit more laws. I fare, I'm a little bit more political and know and I understand that Jannah needs to She can't not say something immediately. She can't, so I understand that she needs to do that. I understand that I'm going to counter balance that and be the one that actually talks to these people and finds a solution respectfully and put in professionally. Well, Janna threatens their firstborn. So we just we we know how each other operate, and we just need to good. Yeah, I don't think we don't. We're kind of past the days of trying to convince each other that our way is the way to do things. Look, I'm saying I need I need definite help with some those areas and not being so on the on the gun and I'm and I'm working on that. I just know though that that text message did have the builder then call or the guy then called our builder to say, hey, I don't want to be the reason right and I and I credit you where you know. Our builder said we're going to be a month behind in. Janna kind yet to like, we're going to be you can't move until the end of July, and I was like, we're gonna be in an RV then because our airbnb is we only have it for a month. So Janna basically sent a pretty aggressive email that I would have worded a little differently, but it was in that moment it was effective because next thing, you know, he got all of the other third party contractors to work on the same timeline and work together so they're able to make up that month. So you know, that's the situation where it worked where I where I probably wouldn't have gotten just because something like this, I understand there's gonna be delays totally, you know, so I'm a little bit more leaning on that. But because Jenna scared the death into this poor man. So I just said, please, you know, this is a lot of moving I said, please, said, that's exactly what you said. There's a lot of there's a lot of moving parts. So whatever you can do on your end would greatly help. I mean, we're moving with two two kids. You know, it's got dogs, we got we got stuff everywhere. So anyways, but end of the day, this is all champagne problems. We're extremely blessed to be moving into a new house. Uh, we are. We are excited. We have started to begin the the process of grieving the old Nashville and welcoming the New Nashville, which has been you know, we just had a kind of a rough session the other day, but it's it's good. It's um, We're we're excited. We're gonna attack it together. I'm really excited because we have two fantastic guests. But I'm gonna take a quick little break and then I'll fill you in. We should tell them who it is, and then because the first one is ready to go, next, what Christina is on? Next? So we should Oh, she's here? Yeah, fabulous? Okay, all right, So we have Christina kus Mick who's in studio and I'm super pumped to have her because she's she's really rocking the whole tell the truth, be authentic, and I think that's definitely something that we had wind down. She's got a great story to embrace, so we are to have her. And then Mark, am I allowed to say the other one? Okay, but I can kind of tease it, okay. And then, honey, we have a special guest for you who would be a special guest for me, Like, honestly, who I really care about that much? You are? Michael Scott? Who's that? I think that's a fictional character. Oh that's the guy from the office. Um no, but gosh, that would be that had been a good one. But no, don't say anymore. Yes, and so we're going to play a game that I want you to play a game. Will I be able from his voice? We can't tell you that I already said his. Yeah, it's his. It's gonna be so much. But I'm so excited. I can't wait. Let's take a break. When we're brushing our teeth the other morning, did you notice, you know, we've been trying to We always brush the Joli's teeth at night, and we've been trying to get her in the morning, right, And the other day was the first time she We were both brush our teeth and she was on living room. She saw what we were doing and went and grabbed her new equipped toothbrush. She did because it looks just like mom and dad's. Yeah, and got she even brought her stool in from our bathroom, said in the middle of our sins. No, it was cute because again, at night, like we brush our teeth, but I think in the morning it's been something fun for her to be like, all right, like it's time to brush your teeth. Like before school. So it's nice that she's like, oh, like mom, mom and dad have equipped, I have equipped. Um. If you guys don't know, Equip is, by the way, they're amazing. Um there, it's a toothbrush, and it's great because it has a built in two minute timer pulses every thirty seconds to remind you when to switch sides and help you to clean your mouth evenly. Um. And what's great too is a lot of times I forget to throw away my toothbrush, but since I've been using Quip, it's great because the brusheads are actually automatically delivered on a dentist recommended schedule every three months for just five dollars. And Quip is one of the electric toothbrushes accepted by the American Dental Association. They're backed by over thousand dental professionals and they have thousands of very five five star reviews. A good news too for the moms out there. So the new Quip Kids brushes the same as the original version, so they just tweaked down for a little you know, sized down mouse um. Which again, it's really important for the kids to develop great habits with brushing their teeth. For the grown up routine and it's like, you know, no childish kid mix on it. But that is why we love quip um and why over one million happy healthy mouse do too. So quip starts at just twenty five dollars and if you go to get quip dot com slash Janna right now, you can get your first refail pack for free. That's your first refail pack for free at get quip g E t q U I P dot com slash Janna. Now in studio, we're very excited. We have pretty much missed everything. Christina kuzmi uh and I just love this so and we have It's an evening with Christina Kuzmick Hope and Humor Tour. Yeah, this is the twenty tom on. I'm so excited and having so much fun. So we just did a mini tour for this and it was like, it's a great like to have. The interaction is so incredible. Yeah, because I hear from you know, moms or just anybody in general that follows me online. But it's so different reading a comment or meeting them face to face and their story and I love it. Right now I've done eight Yeah, Wow, everything's been going great. It's been amazing. I basically wrote this one woman show. It's almost two hours and including intermission, and we call it the Hope in Humor Tour because it's a lot of comedy that everybody can relate to. I tell funny stories about, you know, being a mom, and then also I shared the message of like how I went from being almost homeless and depressed to like loving my life now. So my whole goal was I want to leave everybody. Everybody that leaves, I want them to feel not only like less alone. Oh my gosh, I can relate to that I've been through that. UM. I can laugh at that I'm normal, like which we all wondering my normal, um, but also just feeling stronger and braver, and you know, I feel like a cheerleader for parents and like I want to make you feel like the baddest No, totally, that's kind of what we were talking about. We're like wow, it was like that was like we were comedians, but the more also like therapists motivators, Like they left with they laugh, but they also left with a takeaway. They left with them and they could be like wow, like I want to change our relationship this way. I don't know. It's just it's such a cool thing, and it's the best combination because I think humor is like medicine, and then we need that little bit of therapy, you know, and support. So what I mean, what can is it? Is it primarily just for the moms or was it like a mom's night out kind of thing. That's what I sort of thought of it because most of my following our parents, but then a lot of men have been showing up singles, and then through the meet and greet, I've met so many people are like, I've never had kids, I don't even want kids, but your message of how you went from hating yourself to loving yourself, like it resonates with me or the things you talk about insecurity wise, because we all have insecurities. So it's been really wonderful to see that the messages resonate eating with people who have no interest in being parents, right, and then you can just kind of tap into both of those things in the message. Yeah. By the way, I love your necklace. It is so old. I love it older than my children. Now. It's so I'm going to take a picture that when you leave, because it's so branding. Boker. I used to wear one like every day like that. I just went super top topic. So when you say basically homeless, what does that mean? So after my divorce, I just wanted to sort of tiptoe out of the marriage and not cause anymore drama. I felt bad because I was the one initiating the divorce, even though you know, I felt like it was I needed to leave, and so I asked for no child support. I just left and UM, I started working like two or three part time jobs. Could only afford to share a bedroom with my little kids. So we had a roommate in another room, and I couldn't even afford to bed. I slept on the floor. I ended up on food stamps UM, and was late for rent almost every month, begging my landlord please please please, like don't kick us out. Had every homeless shelter in our area like written down a piece of paper because I was like, I can't. My kids were one and I happened three when I left. So you where was your husband or ex husband at the time. He lived like an hour away and so um, and he would have them most weekends. So on the weekends, I would just work, work, work, work, work, and and I just sunk into this like depression and just felt like, you know, my kids deserve so much better. Why did they get such a loser mom who can't even like put food on the table. I had a friend who worked at Starbucks, and he convinced his manager, you know they have when the food go stale. They're not bad, like you're not gonna get sick, but they're just stale. He convinced him to give them to me, so like he would bring me a bag of Starbucks. I'm like, I'm feeding my kids like stale food, you know. I just And so then I started contemplating suicide because I thought maybe maybe my kids would be better off if I was just I know, I know it's now when I think about it, and it it breaks my heart that even went there. And then slowly started sort of what I realized is I have to change my perception of meat before my life can change. You know a lot of times a way for life to change in order change our attitude towards me. When you got to change your attitude for first, and then life will change. And so um, I just got really proactive about my life and I got really feisty and I, um, just slowly. I always tell people nothing happens overnight, don't expect to happen overnight. But I just slowly built my life into you know, I'm in a place where I can't even imagine, Like I can't even imagine being in that place again. You know, how did you get yourself out of that? Because I think that's the hardest thing for you know, I've been there too, where you just so depressed and it's it's so it's like all you just gotta do it like tomorrow is at it. It's like it's that's so much easier said than done. But everything is easier said. Then brushing your teeth is easier something, and I just don't do it. I'm with you. Um. So, for me, the turning point, as I call it, was deciding to instead of focusing on everything I don't have and everything i'm not and everything I can't do, I'm gonna look for the tiny things, even if they seem insignificant, of what I can do and who I am. And it started with something really simple. The only thing I could think of is I am really confident cooking. I know how to cook a great meal on a very tiny budget, and so I was like, well, what was it? Who cares well any meal? Like I just love cooking, and you know, my first thought was like, so what, That's not going to change your life. And then my second thought was I'm gonna do something crazy. So I sent an email to all my friends in the area and I said, again, I'm broke. At this point, I'm like, every Wednesday night, I'm gonna feed people. So if you know someone who's struggling financially or maybe an elderly personal lost their spouts and they're only I'm gonna feed people. And I went to the nin nine Sensor and literally spent like four bucks on like just pasta or whatever and made this big meal. And I get choked out every time I say it, but that first Wednesday, I fed over thirty people, and I just that was my turning point because I went, oh my gosh, I am feeling worthless. I feel like I have nothing to offer. I shouldn't be here. And hear these people the next day are emailing me and saying I needed that night. I need a company. I needed do you know what I mean? And then I went, well, what else can I do? So just focusing on that little thing. A lot of times we think my talents aren't significant, my gifts don't matter, but like, take them and do something with them, and all of a sudden you're gonna feel so empowered. So that's probably the biggest piece of I stop focusing on what you aren't and what you can't do, and just find that little bit of that you're confident in and do something great with that. It'll give you, you know, it'll show you how much you're worth and how much you matter. Wow, that's so that's so hard, so inspiring, but so hard because, like you said, like even now, I feel like at times you wait for life to put something in front of you. Right, You're like, well, when I get my big break, I'll then I'll know what to do. So the fact that you're able to do that and change your mindset while being in that place is truly inspiring. I hope people really hanging on to that. How did go ahead? I was just gonna say, I feel like we waste a lot of our life waiting for this or that to happen before we start fully living our life. And no one's going to show up at your door with like, here's a box of happy life exact. And I think that's because I mean, I'll even get frustrated, you know, with you, because you'll be like, well, I don't know why people want to come and listen to like to me, And I'm like, because people are learning and they're they're getting great advice from you. So it's like and then so I'm trying to tell him, Hey, you need to talk to this person to do more speaking engagements, and it's I'm just like you, like, but I can't force the person to do it. We have to realize on our own how much we actually have to offer. And I think until you can realize that, that's when you can actually tap into all those things, because I can only Chris Jenerary, you so far right, that's true. No, But I think it that comes that is testament because that's how it is. And I think it's about insecurity and about feeling good enough, especially in something that you're not used to doing. Where my former career of football and athletics, it's you start from a young age. And it's again it's I say this all the time. It's a it's a linear thing. It's it's it's a tangible it's on paper. What you can do. What you're worth is there's a number right there for it, you know. So so my whole life I'm used to having that behind me of like what I'm worth, and now into a brand new field life without sports, I don't I don't have anything to show. I have nothing behind me. It's like, hey, this is this is what I'm good at. It's like, well, I played sports my whole life. What do I have the show? But now you have no That's what I'm saying. Now. It's just for me to feel more confident. It's to build my resume up on things instead of going straight to the top. How do you build it when you don't started? Because of the things that we're doing, M keep moving forward, trying to so how did you how did you get connected with with Oprah? And and and you know her? Was it Oprah search for the Next TV Star and all that? So that's an insane story. So I get remarried eventually, and my husband's in grad school and I'm still broken. We don't even go on a honeymoon. I did not marry for money the second time, and and so like the day after our wedding, He's like, what do you want to do? Like you have so much energy, and you have so much passion, and you've just been in survival mode, like just trying to keep these kids alive. I'm here now, I want to support you. What do you want to do? And so he handed me as car keys and I drove around five hours and I came back and I said, those wednes and I dinners I did for people saved my life. I literally feel like they saved my life. And I'm even more passionate cooking. Now. I'm gonna make some cooking videos and put them on YouTube, thinking nothing of it, and then somebody sees one of the videos. This is like weeks after I posted my first video, somebody sees it and sends me an email and says, oh my gosh, I love your personality. You should enter the Opra competition. I'm like, I don't have a working television. I have no idea what you're talking about. So they sent me a link. You knew who Oprah was? I knew I mean from Croatia. Oh I'm Croatian. No you're not. Barbar Kasokovich was my great grandma. My grandma was born in Zagreb that's where I was born. Really, oh my god, like cousin, I'm actually going Dune fifteen for three weeks. I take my kids. I still have cousins, Like, oh my last cousins, we'll go We're actually moving between your house like that week but next year. Okay, but anyway and so um so yeah, obviously knew pros. Anyway. I send him this little audition tape, thinking nothing of it, and within a few days it was Mark Burnett's people were producing the show. They call me. I go in, I meet with HIMBA eventually end up on the reality show for soucial next to You start time. People made it and still just like in all can't even believe it. Sure every week I'm the one going home and end up winning the whole thing. It was. I mean, but when you think this is this is what I keep telling people. Life can surprise you in the worst of ways. I didn't expect to end up divorced and broke and stressed and suicidal, right, but life can surprise you the best of ways. Because like two years before, I'm hanging out with Oprah and she's handing me a free car on a TV show. I'm sleeping on the floor, do you know what I mean? Like life is so crazy. And to that point too, it's there's so many times when even in our situation, it's like I wouldn't go back and change any of it because now look what we're doing with this, Like you're able to have this message and and help people through it like we were we went through that because we are had this now platform to be able to go out there and and and be there for other people. Like it's it's awesome. And to your point, Christina, you know, if you'd just stayed in your misery and all that stuff, life wouldn't have surprised you in the way that I did. It was because you're doing those things. It's like harmon in a positive way, you know, like you were rewarded. Yeah, we were rewarded for sticking it out to help people, you know when you were rewarded for sticking that out. So now like how it's like it's okay instead of taking the easy row. I think one of the most dangerous things humans do is they get passive and apathetic about their life and you just can't. You have to refuse. I'm going to be proactive, stay feisty every single day. I love it. That's like, you're just like my love language. That is, she doesn't know how to not be productive, so I try to level level her out and you're like, Okay, it's okay for us to like chill out for a minute, and you can't. You can't. There's ten things at once all the time. Well, I just you know, I want to keep growing. You have to keep thinking things and creating. And you know, it's like if I didn't create, you know, think like the live stuff. You know, so we're doing too, Like there's so much you can do from that. Are you writing a book too? Or do you have a book? I wrote it. It's coming out the beginning of just I was just in New York yesterday meeting with my publisher at Penguin. And it's called hold On but Don't Hold Still. And it's which is sort of my thing, like hold on, you got this, hang in there, but do not hold still, be proactive, keep moving forward. How is that process for you? Write in book? Um, it was like labor and delivery, except they didn't hand me a baby at dance. I was kissed like labor and deliver. With that an ever durl because this is my again. I grew up in Croatia, moved here in high school, learned the English, learned the English there. Yeah, learned English as a teenager. Since I'm writing in a second language, even though I've lived here now longer than in Croatia, it's still like so I was like feeling a little inadequate and then freaking wrote it, and I'm proud of myself. Yeah, yep, okay, Well you're gonna have to come visit us in Nashville. I will. That's how moving coming over to your house hot decided. And I'm making you Croatian dinner. Please tell me right now. My grandma makes the best dumplings and then she does this turtle too like so good um, and then you can we can call them because her and her boyfriend Vlada, they just speak Croatian to each other. My older kids are Luke and Matteo. Yeah. I think actually have a cousin named Luka like one of this, like a second or Luca. We're gonna get her to come be a guest on one of our live shows. Yes, so we need to link up. Yeah, we're doing it in Croatian all because I'm also German. So but because my grandma when they my grandma met my grandpa in the speaking school like to speak English, so he was learning English from Germany and then she was learning. Have you been to Croatian? I've never been, but I've wanted to go with my grandma because it's it's beautiful and I want to see because she um, you know, she she wants to show me where you know, the bombings and her shelters and you know, she said she used to eat hay and look about her whole story in Croatia. So I'm like, I really want to go there and see it because I heard it hurts beautiful, It's beautiful, stunning. Oh my gosh, I'm gonna be just posting pictures. Is to make you jealous, just to make you do the plan and join me, she wrote, and then shook us a flight. Like the next day we just became best friends. So what is okay? Obviously you know your divorce even married now for how long? Um, nine years? Nine years? What is what is one thing you learned from the first now with your second? Yeah, what what did you learn from the first marriage that you brought into your second one? I guess a learning tool. Um, this might be a weird answer, but to not allow my insecurities to have as much power because they're not qualified for the job. Um. And I think a lot of times we think about what we want more than what we need. And also I think we get so caught up in the romance and the love and like the feelings. And I was so cynical after my first divorce. I mean I literally was like, I wish I was a lesbian. I am never going to girl. Yeah. I was like men suck. And I was a waitress when you know, when I was struggling, and these couples would come in for like their ten sorry, and I'd be like, they're just pretending they hate each other like the most. And then when I met my current husband and we you know, I started liking and everything. I had those romantic feelings, but I kept asking myself, would you go into business with this person? Because let's be honest, Mary, I think sex is important. I think romance is important, all of it, but so much of marriage, especially raising kids and all that. It is a business. You're literally running a business. And if you wouldn't trust to run a business, or if if you don't you know, have strengths that complement each other whatever, then don't do it? So I throughout it. I know that's weird, it's very unromantic, but let's be honest. Like the day to day life, it's negotiating, it's compromising and setting bound, it's figuring all that out. Do you have the strength that I don't do you? And are you a good listener? And do you respect me? And does my opinion matter? I mean all of it? Right. Oh, it's funny that you just asked some husband if he was a good listener because the other day I was telling him something. I go no, I said, do you agree? And he goes, yeah, totally. He goes, I'm sorry, wait, what did you say it? I was like, oh my god, you just agreed. It was just so enamored with how beautiful. I just think that's funny. What's one thing like in your marriage? Because I always think it's you know, it's so easy to blame, like it's easy to blame my spouse for him doing something, but it's so much harder to look at your look at yourself in the mirror and evaluate yourself. So what's one thing that you could do better as a spouse and as a person. I need to be way more patient. I tend to be. It's it's interesting. I feel like sometimes our greatest weaknesses are our greatest strengths, and others like I'm impulsive and it's good because I put myself out there, but um, I need to be way more patient, and I am a much bigger personality, and I think the bigger personality and in in the relationship sometimes needs to make sure that the other person is being heard and seen because it's all easy for us not to even realize, like, wait a second, I'm kind of running the whole show here and I didn't even consider, like where are you? Are you good? You know? I think that's interesting because I feel like, from a spectator of that personality, I'm going to speak for both of y'all. You guys are probably like, well, they're not up to speed with me. That's their issue, that they're not as fast as I am. When really, from a more understanding, empathetic place, it maybe that it's like maybe though being maybe, yeah, maybe I do need to take a step back, and you know, to be on the same level is m and I start making this conscious decision to like every day ask my husband, Hey, how are you doing? What do you need? What can I do to like make your day better? Because it's so easy for me to get caught up in all my stuff and I'm so hyper and LoVa and I got kids. Just taking that moment to go, is there anything I can do for you today? Like, is there anything you need? That's a really good takeaway. Yeah. We actually do that for each other pretty pretty often. Yeah, we need to check in more often. I think that's kind of going. Okay, can I can I tell you something that my husband I do every once in a a while. That's like the best thing ever. So if he texts me we started doing this before we were even married. If he texts me and says, hey, this is Philip, obviously I know is number right, But if you text me and says that, then I know what's happening and I'll say, oh hi, and he'll go. So it was a great meeting. You can take on a date, super triggering for us, No great idea, No, we are We we go to a place we've never been and we completely play it up and then at the end when you get all it feels like the first time because you played it up for like two hours. Sorry too cheesy. No, super sweet would be really triggering for us because of our Oh okay, but that's really trigger right. No, No, but it's super cute. Would be super cute, Yeah, just not for us. We wouldna work for us, But it's adorable that. Yeah, maybe one day, one day, we can make that work, don't Maybe? I think so scratch, let's delete the whole part of the podcast. It's good. It's good. It's good. That's our reality, you know. That's the things that we have to find out what works. And that's really important too. Like every couple is different, just like I always tell parents, like, parenting is not a science. Will work for one kid or one family won't work for you. You gotta it's not a science. It's an art. You gotta do it. Paint your way, right, so you know what works for your relationship? A million percents. Get the kids. There's one thing that's on our can I can I tell her about the story about that one kid that I talked about in a previous episode, So because this will lead into your question. So my daughter was at a play date and this kid was kind of being obnoxious and I walked in. He goes, no parents allowed, and I was like, well, actually, um, I am allowed because I'm a parent, but I'm also a friend. And he goes, you're not a friend. He's like and I said, yes I am, and he goes, no, you're not a parent, can't be a friend. And I said, well I am. Julie's a friend and I'm also her parents. So I wanted to be like sitting up down like a rat. But and Julie goes, yeah, my mom my friend, and I said that's right, Julie. It was like the cutest thing ever. But then we read on your notes and said that you don't think go ahead, Mike, Uh yeah, you said she She says she's totally cool having your kids be mad at her because she's the parent, not their friend. So here's how I see it. It depends on how you define friendship, right. So for example, when I'm at at my ex, I will not talk about it with my kids. I will talk about with my girlfriends, but not with my kids. I will not put you boundaries. Let's say we have financial difficult guilties. I don't think a kids should carry that weight you mean. So there's also I do not wipe my friends, but if it was an emergency, I might take one for the team, but usually I don't. So I do feel like hair back though, Yes, But here's the main here's the main part of that. I think a lot of parents it becomes very important that their kid likes them at all times because our friends we usually like each other. Right, it's a different kind of relationship, and especially as your kids get older and become preteens and teens, you have to become okay with my kid doesn't like me hundred percent time, and that's okay. My job isn't to be liked by them. My job is to raise decent, kind, amazing human beings, do you know what I mean? And so I think that's where it gets tricky. Were like, oh, but she's my best friend and I want her to like me, and so okay, maybe I'll let her have this, and then you end up raising an entitled kids. Doesn't make sense, No, it does. I think it's just about having healthy boundaries around that. Yeah, Because the way I say it is like, I'm not my kid's best friend, but I am their ally. I'm the greatest cheerleader. I believe they can talk to me about anything without talking down at me. I believe they can come to me with anything, you know what I mean. I just still like personally saying that I am her. I can be her friend, but I can also be her mom and also discipline her and say that's okay. Like sometimes I don't like my friend because she's telling me, she's calling me out, and that's okay. She can still be my friend and I can still be the mom. That's because kind of how I looked at it too, because it makes sense times when I don't like my friend, that that makes sense. I see a lot of people, though moms would just want to really be cool and liked, and then it just you end up with kids you don't even want to hang out with when they're adults, Like I want to raise the kind of kids that actually enjoy hanging out with me. We can enjoy exactly. I think that's a whole stigma around, that whole kind of when people say one way or the other because of that reason, there's so many parents out there that it's the whole concept now right when a kid gets in trouble at school, they don't go to their kids and say what you do wrong and they go to the teacher and say, what do you do wrong? I have a problem with that. I mean seriously, Like I I think too many parents are bailing their kids out. Here's the thing. We're worried about what makes our kid happy now instead of a long term and like you have to think long term, what life lesson are they learning? Because our job is to raise them so we can let them fly right, and if we're constantly rescuing them, they are not getting a realistic view of what life is like. So you know, I make my my older two kids start doing their laundry at ten, and so my friends are like their only ten. I'm like, laundry now. This was so I know how to press buttons on the iPad, they know how to press buttons on Ah, she puts her clothes in the washer, like that is part of her day laundry. But I always think like happy now versus happy long term, Like getting a pap smere doesn't make me happy in this moment, but in the long term it's a good idea. So like kids like so uncomfortable making this rule right now. I know it won't make you happy, but in a long term, You're gonna end being a better human being because of it, no question. I think it just comes back to what you said at the beginning, is like, what's your definition of friendship? Right? So for Jane and I, it's someone who's gonna call you on your someone who's got your back no matter what. Someone who's gonna love you but also be there to you know, steer you in the right way. So you know, for us, we it all depends on what exactly it depends on how you to find it depends on what that means for you personally. So but I always think it's interesting because we have come across people that are very don't go into the definition of friendship, are very just like nope on the parent if they want to talk about this thing to their friends and that and that and that, that's actually really bad. I think I think one that was important, mean, I got into a fight it was like bores Cojo at our show and he was and we end up just I just kind of stopped talking because he just was so strong an opinion and that's that's fine, that's his opinion, but I have a different opinion. That's okay too. See the whole creating an Again, I'm speaking of someone who has an almost sixteen year old and a fourteen year old. Creating an environment where your kids will come and talk to you about anything and you will never shut them down. So important, because there's a huge Even young kids will come to us with uncomfortable questions and we're like, oh my gosh, where did you hear of that? And if we say to them we can't talk about that, we'll talk about it when you're older. If you think that's going to stop them from asking, they're going to start asking somebody else. And you don't want them finding out from eight year old who has a teenage sister about sex. Right, So, my sixteen year old, I mean, he's a boy. He literally tells me stuff that I'm like, I'm sitting there and I act very You always got to act very like, oh sure, yeah, let's talk about that. That's great in your head. Then you hide in the closet with a big cake and a bottle of wine and you stress it and go what the hell? Yeah, in front of them, you're like, oh, yeah, sure, let's talk about that. I'm scared of those days. I'm scared of those days. But I can't wait to watch Gena squirm. She just hates that uncomfortable confrontation. Nagers are like, it's the hardest thing ever. But I just keep reminding myself it's so much harder being a teenager than parenting a teenager, and then all of a sudden, you feel so much more grace. And also there's something really cool about watching them turn into adults, Like slowly they're not but just going, wow, I understand your passions now. I mean it just it makes me emotional. It's really cool get a glimpse of who they're going to end up being. You know, there's little personality traits or whatever. Can we traink Win together? Yes, because I just really like you. Everything. Well, it's like the baby steps that start in Nashville first, and then we'll go there. Um okay, so where can our listeners find you? So I'm on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter, on YouTube, it's all add Christina with a k k u z m I c. And then if you go to Christina Kuzmi live dot com, all the cities from my tour are listed there. You guys should come. It's a really fun parents. Please is there. I'll look online after you know what, I'm gonna come over us and like Nashville, please add the city. Yes, Zina Kuzmick, I really like her. She was awesome. She's just very chill and she has you can just tell she has a really good heart. She she has green energy. And it's one of those things where just being able to have the guests in studio and being able to read off their energies is really a benefit for us and getting to know them as a person. And her story is truly inspirational from what she's been through and turn it into a successful brand that she is is amazing. I agree with you on that. Hey, Mark is a special guest. When when when is he calling? In about ten minutes? We got about ten minutes to play with here. I wasn't nervous, but now I am. It's like a ticking clock. Who could possibly be? Can I just ask? Can I do a couple of yestern knows before he calls, and he can try and ask you yes or no? That'd be fun. Okay, fine, okay, so you get five, you get five? What are you before the person calls? Then it kind of takes away the whole surprise. Why I think hobnoutly you haven't played games with Janna yet? One or two? Not five? Crossing off two hands? There you go, all right, but I don't know. I don't want to know. Just yes you can beat can be like if I feel like the answer will give it away too much? Yes or no question? Yes, that's one, I'm down to two. No, yes you are, I'm definitely crossing that office. That was a question. Good job, Mark, you're done. Is he an athlete? I'll allow it? No, you got one more question? I don't care. Is he tall? I have to look up this person's actual height. That's an I don't know, and tall tall is is six two or taller? Okay, then we're gonna have Mark answer this one. He's not tall? Oh deceiving. This is so much fun. I love he's a non athlete and he's not tall. Yeah, it sounds like, alright, how about an email? Will we wait for the surprise? That was fun? I love games. Games are like my love language. Actually, I have back to back Nichole's. How do you feel about that? Um? Great? I was asking, She says. My fiance and I just got engaged. We already lived together, so that wouldn't be a surprise, but I want to make sure we're stepping into this on the right foot. What things do you think are important for us to discuss and keep in mind before marriage. Do you have any tips that could help us start off things well? M Therapy? Yeah, do you believe in therapy? That's a huge one, because I think if the guy doesn't believe in therapy, if you guys run into issues, that's going to be a real hard thing to get over and and be That would be really frustrating because if you're because there's a lot of guys I know they would be like, I don't believe in therapy, and that always makes me kind of scratch my head, like I get why it might be uncomfortable. All marks over there do not believe in therapy. No, I'm not saying that at all. I think that the average age that men get married at, whether it's maybe late twenties, those guys aren't ready for therapy. I mean they are, like they don't know they are, and they won't to admit they are. They still think they got the whole world figured out right, But they should be open though, to having that conversation. I would have been at that age. Really, I don't think so what about you? Bet? What about me? Would would you have gone to therapy if things didn't go hey? Why? Yeah? I think so you would have that? Yeah, because I enjoyed talking stuff out. I mean I still was. I felt like I had the world figured out, like Mark said, But I've never been like a post to it. Even when we first met got together, I was on board. I've never been to therapy before because I threatened with therapy you either, Um No, But and I think you know, people have the misconception that they only need therapy when there's already problems. But that's not the case. Um. You can avoid a lot of problems by being proactive and going to therapy and having someone to talk to it and doesn't even have to be a couple of therapy. You can avoid conflict in your relationship by going to individual therapy and just learning more about yourself and then sharing that with your partner. Um sidebar though, I kind of feel like sometimes though therapy has then made the relationship like more arguments like there there was this one. They depends on your therapy where I'm just like, are you trying to make us fight? Right now, you know, like we we left now, we're leaving worse off. I think she's bringing issues to the surface that need to come out at some point. But then she's like, I don't know if this is gonna work. I don't know, And I'm like, that's the thing. You've got to find a good therapy. Really, even if you don't call a therapy, maybe that's part of the stigma attached to it, Like what would you call it? I don't I'm not sure exactly. But like when Amy and I met with me with that pastor before he married us, that was a really enjoyable time and that was really the only time we had that kind of a therapy like environment before we got married. So even if you just talk to somebody and get those kind of feelings out and get a dialogue going, that could be very helpful. Talking to your local pastor and think absolutely and that's free. I would if you're fiance is open and is intact with his feelings, I would like to know how he deals with issues, because I think that could really cause an interesting ripple and how does she deal with that? To talk about that? Yeah, so like and to approach places off it's like how to help me when I'm in that situation, or what would be good like if she's the kind of person that doesn't want to have confrontation and needs a minute him going after her, I mean like, we'll talk to me, talk to me, talk to me, Like that's just going to cause an argument, So maybe they need a cool like how do they deal with confidence station and how they deal with which is just a part of learning each other as you grow in your relationship, but that might be important for us to discuss to keep in mind before marriage that question, right, How they deal with kids, parenting, religion, parenting style. Yeah, yeah, I'm baffled by people have been married for years and realized the other person doesn't want kids the same way they do, or more or less or not at all. That that's you do need to discuss that ahead of time. Well here's the problem. So I can't say her name, but someone has been dating someone for a really long time, and she knew in the beginning that he didn't want kids. But now it's been eight years and she's and he still doesn't. But she's like I just thought that maybe i'd get him there. But it's like, but you knew. I mean, what woman out there doesn't think they can change a man there? I mean both of them can. Absolutely, there's no question. I don't blame you guys for having thoughts. Yeah, it's true, because but I think it's a similar thing young guys. I don't like here. I'm just gonna you know, I'm living the party, laughing and having fun. But then as you get older, you know, we have our own version of a biological clock. You do start to think about that stuff. So I could see that changing. But of course, I mean, I think Michael and I would agree we're both better people because of our wives. There's no question I would be a train wreck. You know you wouldn't. It would have just like if we would have ended up getting a divorced, I think you would have just it would have taken you another five to six years to clean up shop maybe post our relationship, like post divorce. Here's the fun game, guys. Let's talk about what would happen if Jane and I did get divorced, saying reality like I just or or even if we never met, like I think like you needed you you might have married someone like maybe one of yours. If we never if we never met, it definitely would have been trained wreck. Yeah, I don't know. It would have been a long time since I was able to settle down, or I would have Maybe they type of girl you might have ended up picking might not have been the one I should the kind of girl I should be with, or that would like stay to help you through it. I don't know. Maybe I would be in Where would I be? I'd be in Georgia. Who knows? Well? This transition is right well into the next Nicole's email, And I'm sorry you don't have this one, but it's just real quickly, I have it. You know that's anonymous amous. I don't have it. I don't have it. I have it for you here. But basically, nutshell, married six years, two beautiful girls. How do you deal with wanting another child but your spouse says they're done. My houseband says he dizzy Donny doesn't want anymore. I absolutely want one more child. He will not even entertain the thought. How do you get over that feeling or how do you talk him into it? I think she needs to have a very deep conversation with him and say, hey, like I truly want another kid. I feel like I might hold resentment if we don't have another one. And I think because if she doesn't have that conversation, and she is going to resent him for the fact that she wanted another one, and he can then say, I will resent you about saying Devil's advocate on him in this situation. I want to have a deep conversation with you, Honey. It's really important to me that we don't have another kid because I don't want to be raising any more kids until we're, however old, and I still want us to have our time in our life. And I will resent well, you and I already done. But I don't know though he got a sect very much. Matter doesn't like Jays' is sitting up now like I want another baby. It's not happening. Is from you? It's you said, maybe that's the time to say that would have been pre vasectomy. Well right now I'm saying, get it temporary vasectomy. We'll figure it out later. I don't know, Nicole. That's tough maybe, but no. I think it's a good question though, because how how do you determine if both people are that way, both people are like, look, I will resent you or I'll feel a lot of resentment if you forced me your way or I forced you my way. I mean, how do you know what's right? Well, if it depends how strong you feel about it, because I mean, look at our one friend, for example, she wanted a baby. She was married for ten years. He said, I do not want to have kids. She divorced him. Right, that's that's a a baby. They have to so you can make arguments for each where for her, it's like he can say, honey, we have two beautiful kids, why do you what inside of you makes you want to have a third? You know? And then she can kind of say the same thing back to him, like we already have to. It's so hard though, like for the one like Jason is sitting up baby, he's not a baby anymore. Yeah, Jana said a while back, she was like one day, or I I said in the car. I was like, yeah, one day, We're not even gonna have a crib in the house. She's like what, she was like, what do you mean? She's like, I don't know if I can handle that. I'm like, well, that's kind of the whole point is for kids to grow up. But then we can adopt or have another one. We can just like give a little needle out of your vasectomy. You know, what I have found is minor thirteen and ten. When the thirteen year old reaches a milestone, it's exciting, When she graduates elementary school, it's exciting. When the youngest one reaches a milestone, it's devastating the last one and which But that's a weird thing because you want to be equally happy for both of them, but we're not. We're so sad when it's the youngest one. And she's like, why you were so happy for Allie, Which sounds like I know, but it's different. So what if your wife came to you and was like, I want another baby. We've always been on the same page and it's been great. But if she wasn't, she's like, I want another baby, boy, that would be a long conversation. Because I've also had a vasectomy. I'm a strong proponent of my vasectory. That's not ten years old. It might be a little leaky there. That could happen. We haven't been doing the check ups or whatever you're supposed to be. We haven't done that since so I we're both on the same page. I would not want another. I don't want to start over. That's what I feel. I feel like we would be starting over. I just especially with you guys, because ten, it's like that's that's like your brother. Yeah yeah, almost fourteen years. Yeah, but it's you know, for me, and you may call it selfish. We have one of each and a third. When I just think about when they're all in school and they all have extracurricular activities, they have sports, they have recitals and all that, we will never have time for ourselves with three kids. This is my world. So here's my fear, and this is might be in irrational fear. I'm afraid that when all the kids move out that maybe you won't like me anymore, so there wouldn't be like there's going to be all this. That's right, I'm using you for our kids. No, no, no, I mean, like, you know, because we're going to be so busy the next how many years their kids and the activities and everything going on, that when it's quiet and there isn't a kid in the house, are you going to like the person next to you? For sure? And to speak on that, but I think a lot of people have that weird. It's all the emptiness emptiness syndrome because maybe they don't really like because a lot of people just stay together because their kids, and it's like do I even like my husband? That's possible? Well, and that's that's what you know. We do all the work, thanks Anny, We do all the work that we do kind of also in preparation that where we don't just pass each other, which a lot of people get sucked into, understandably, so we even get we even see where we go a couple of days like holy crap, like we haven't really talked or connected. That's make that intentional time. So we're doing our work now in prevention of of that. And then also for me from a selfish mindset, I'm looking forward to those days because that's kind of another reason I don't want a third. So you and I are still at a decent age to go do stuff together, to go travel, to hang out, to do stuff for us again, like that's gonna be so much fun. The kids are in school, Like I feel like I feel like you would want to like trade up like younger or something or I don't know, like I feel like you're looking than you a younger version. Shut No, I guess it's just like a weird Maybe I don't know, Maybe I'm alone in that. Maybe other women feel the same thing. But I'm sure I'm sure male and female people might feel that way. But do you understand that I see where Max coming from. I can't wait till the kids are gone, which is it sounds meaner than I mean it to be, But I look forward to the days of traveling with my wife and just having our lives again. I love my wife and I can't wait for it to be the two of us again so we can have the freedom that we really don't have right now. Why it's a fear of like and for me, like, think about when we went for an anniversary, right we went to Nobu and then we just sat in the back of my truck at the beach in Malibu, And that didn't go for the plan, but it was just cool. We just hung out. Yeah, we laid there. We got there too early, we had like two hours till sunset. It was like a hurricane wind and it was to lay like bunkerd in the back of my truck, like to get out of the wind. But we just laid there and hung out, and how much fun did we have We laughed, we played like it was fun and to focus on right, that's true, focus on today. Even though even though it goes fast, it goes fast. Anyone with older kids like you know Mark, and say it goes so fast, enjoy every meant right, we still have a long time. We have eighteen years. So that's what I'm saying. You have eighteen years to like not like me four. I have eighteen years to fall even more in love with you and like you that much more glass half full kind of guy right here. And I'm like, watch the world burn. Yeah, pessimism. And I'll wrap this up by saying, according to a new survey, spouses more likely to cheat after the empty nest kicks in. All right, we need to get to our special guests. I eat you right now. I don't know if we Well, I got mine out of the way early, so maybe we don't have to worry about it. On the back end. We can laugh now Mark, I mean Mike. Yeah, Um, I'm are you guys ready for the special guest because I'm so excited Special guest. Hello, Hello, Hey, so you have Janna and Mike and Um, thank you so much for calling in so can I just play quick little game with you? Because my husband doesn't know who who you are? Um, right in this moment, he will know. But can we play the yes or no game? Because he's he's actually obsessed with you, and so the fact that he doesn't know right now, isn't it? Michael? You get you get three guesses? Okay, three yes, yes, yes, or no? And he has to he has to answer. Um, are you an entertainment yeah? Are you dear brown here? No? Are you handsome? Yes? You can ask on more keeping Why you narrowed down the entertainment world? Yeah, narrowed down a little bit. Then are you an actor? No? No, he's literally doing a graph right now. Paper blonde, handsome? Why do you think blonde? Not brunette? Brunette? But my hair is kind of blackish brown, blackish brown. This is keep going with. Not an athlete, not an actor? What would be another entertainment? What's another entertainment? Michael? What do I do sing? Oh? Singer? Are your singer? Yeah? Okay, singer? Are you tall? We already said, remember you already guessed it. Um? Do you sing country music? Sometimes? Sometimes? Um? This is killing me. Why don't you just sing a little something that he would know. Okay, Umm, it's really embarrassing if I don't know this, you will, Okay, explain where did we go? Wa? It is dry and need and can know just need one more chances. Oh my goodness, thank you so much for coming on our show. So see what's what's up? Wow? You know Jenna told me like I'll be star star struck and all that stuff. And I told I was like, who, I don't get star struck and we just saw you guys in Vegas. I was like, she wouldn't know because that's like the only people. So Sean so um. So we we stood in the meeting great line. So my husband we um he I said, you know, bucket list person, like who would be your bucket list star struck, you know, person that you would you would want to meet? And he said, you know boys too men, And so I knew you guys were doing a residency in in Vegas, and so you know, we um our producer Amy Sugarman got us tickets and we got the meeting greats and he was so nervous, like so nervous to meet you guys. And he was like, you know tall, he's six ft six, like ball, tall dude, and he's going I was like, honey, just like breathe, just breathe, like you're gonna be okay. Like you know, he played in the NFL and so he's you know, he's met like a bunch of people. But he was like so nervous to meet you, and then he didn't even and I was going to say something, but then I didn't want to embarrass him. But like he really wanted to have a conversation with you know, with you and you guys, and so I think, like, I mean, I know you still enjoyed meeting them, but it's still like, you know, you know how the business works. So we know how these meet and greets are. But it's one of those things, right, A meet and greet is different than than sitting down and having a conversation with these people or or whatever it may be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's very true. And well now you have the combo now, bro man, so what up? Now you gotta ask a bunch of questions, no pressure, man. First of all, Sean, thank you so much for coming on and taking the time. Man, I really appreciate it. And Honey, thank you as well. My pleasure. I hope you enjoyed the show, and big I did. Man, you guys are still doing it. And I was a little sour because I didn't get a rose. But that's fine. Jane. Jane is too little to get up there and push everyone all the way to get one of those roses. It really is natural selection. These girls fight. They were fighting. Yeah, they were out, man, the lines were out. I mean, that's gotta be a good feeling that after all these years, you guys still get that kind of reaction and that kind of love. Like, did you ever think it was it was gonna last this long? Uh? Well it might sound pretentious, but I sort of hoped it, did you know. I We all love music, and we got into this to do this for a long time. I mean, rather, once we got signed and and things started to get serious, we wanted to find ways to figure out how long we could make these things last. And it's not a perfect blueprint. There's there's no guide book to any of this. You kind of just uh follow you in things. You make, your mistakes, you stumble, but you hope that your talent and your gifts just seeing or perform, and you love to perform and sing um outweighs at all and somehow you you know, you find and then you you still continue to do it throughout all the men. And we've been through a lot of mens and and we're so honored still too to be here doing things and people still love our music, not no lies. I'll be on stage sometimes and I'll look over the crowd and I'm staying to myself, what are they doing here? We're crying and we're singing along to every single word? Like that's I mean the amount of times that I I sing your guys of songs and I cooked you as in the kitchen and my husband and I are driving, you know, around town like listening to your songs. It's you're so the nostalgia, the nostalgia Instalgia. I can never say we're in nostalgia in this is. I mean, it's you know, we grew up listening to your guys music. And you know what, And that's the biggest compliment ever, the fact that people still get it. People still get and they understand what it is that we were trying to do. As far as I'm concerned, mission accomplished like we did. We did exactly what we wanted to do, which was make music that people could listen to and use for the rest of their lives. And it stands the test of time too. I mean it's it's still like the songs are just as freaking good as they were years ago. And that's a that's a testament to y'all's talent, right, because that's the thing with music or any kind of entertainment. It's people feel like they have to conform to society and what the what the supply demand is and all that stuff. But you guys have just done you since day one. I mean, y'all are legends, man like legends, and that I mean does that I mean, like you said at the beginning, you hoped it would last us long, but I mean to get to this that you guys are legends, it's unbeated. Oh my gosh, it's pretty. It's a it's an honorable things. It's an honor even called that title, you know what I mean, Like, you know, I blow that off because it's like that's such a heavy crown to wear. But it's like it's still so nice that people look up look at us in that regard, and all we can do with that is cannot you know, be buttholes about it. You know, just just take it and enjoy it and still do our best without two out all these years. If anything, it doesn't make us arrogant. It just makes us feel more determined and responsible to do greater things and and and that's that's what we're always trying to do, no question. And I think you know, just from Senior Show in Vegas, just the humility you guys have with your presence, the way you guys were at meet and greet, the way you guys even are on stage, and the way you interact. It's just a testament to y'all as as people and as human beings, because there's so many stories out there where somebody meets, you know, the their their bucketless person or someone they've always looked up to, and then they get that negative response from them because they let things get to them. And it's it's a testament to you guys as men and human beings. And for me, you I mean, the Boysman Boysman album was the first album I ever bought, the very first one that I ever bought as a kid. And you know, it's funny to say that because I mean, I'm thirty two. I don't you know, I'm I'm a grown man now and being a kid on paper, I am on paper, I'm a grown man at home. It's a little different. So is that is that something that you guys take your like, damn we feel old? Or is it one of those things where it is a compliment that man, I've I've been listening to you since I was a kid, you know, at at this day and age, being old is damn cool. Absolutely. I like being old because it's only one alternative, and you know, I'd rather be called old yet still proved the people that being old doesn't mean you're your wash stuff or your you can't do the things that you used to do when you were younger. I like, I like just selling miss like that things of that nature. Like That's been most of my career with my guys. Um, there's been a lot of well you can't and still is believe it or not. So um, But that's the cool thing about being alive. You get to prove people wrong. So I'll be I'll be old, I'll be considered old. Love that. So you're doing, Um, you have a solo song out now? Yes, I have a solo song out and I also have a solo EP again just trying to stretch the boundaries, not necessarily trying to do uh, the whole typical cliche thing where you see guys right now, you know, I don't I don't get that. I don't understand why the guy who's in the group go solo and just has to leave the group completely, right? Why why did I do both? Like, you know, take some time off to do you and then do the group and go back perfectly do it works for everybody that way too, you know, it works for everybody. Yeah, And this is just more or less a creative effort for me to go out and stretch out. It's an EP and titled Sewan and Um. It's out now you downloading on iTunes. It's five songs. It's just strictly R and B music that you hang with your with with your loved one, with crews down the street with, you can cook your food with, you can make a little love with, like you know, it's it's it's it's basically the things that people would expect through somebody like me, but it's just without the two other guys in the group. And how how are the guys with that. Are they super supportive of you and doing that thing? They're extremely supportive and they you know, they give their critiques and you know, things of that nature, and which is what I appreciate. And um, you know, I just keep the movement from that point. What part of the business has have you seen a change that you don't like? How long does this show? Um? Uh, well, I think it's the the generational Yeah that at once, at one point there was never a gap, like from my generation respected the artists that came before years before, Like we had conversations and talk and actual shows with the Temptations and Stevie Wonder in the Four Tops and you know, Michael Jackson and guys that you know came before us and we we would have powers with them and learned and it would tell us competious thing and and all this other stuff. Just like what I notice in this generation is that, yeah, they acknowledge that we were just talking about this yesterday, me and my guys. But the respect is gone. It's like they don't. They don't. They lack the ability to show respect. Not necessarily you know, be a kid at but you know, understand who's in front of you, who was before you who paved the weight for you, right, and not only that understands that their ability still remains. There's still very much intact. And you know, I I hate to make it a black write thing, but it's it's normally with with you know, black artists. Like I said in AWE, when I see any thousand people show up to a Rolling Stone concert and they're each about a hundred forty five years old and they still rock out, and you see, of course and that probably are the same age, and then you see their kids. Right, the respect and the legacy of the of the respect of the legacy is there. And I just wish the same thing, you know for artists like myself and you know other artists too, that the younger generation um embraces uh stuff that we did and still continue to do and and and we're willing participants in wanting to show them things and wanting to teach them and have them learned because that's what was bestowed upon us. So we just want to carry on the tradition and teach these kids that they seem like a lot of you just don't want to be taught. Well, you know, Michael Jordan's said something about sports when he said, you know, money destroyed the gang. And to some degree, it's the same thing with the music industry. These kids thanks for streaming and downloads and Instagram, and you get instant gratification if if you're you know, have something out there that people can see, you become popular so quickly without any type of proper guidance, so instantly they feel like, oh, well, you can't tell me enough now you can't, right, you know, I'm look at this, Look all these streams I got, you know, look at this this gold watch I bought. Look at this car. You know. You know that's like, what are you going to tell me, old man that I don't already know? And I'm like, well, how to stay around? Maybe to be longer than two stuffers? Yeah, they probably wouldn't be able to sell a record back then. So like, but that's that's the thing I think. I I I tend to It tends to make me because you see, it's almost like watching the kids drive a car off the clip. Anyway you could have told him, I, yos don't do that, And I've seen so many do it, and so many do it constantly. Every you hear artists here today, gone today, and and that that's that's sad to me. And they don't want to you know, a lot of them don't want to listen. So but that's one of the main things. There's a few us, but I think that's the one that kind of sticks out, mainly because we were just the guys and I were just discussing that. Yet oh yeah, that totally makes sense. And now showing outside of music, do you have any other kind of things that you're getting into business wise or for yourself? Um, I do have. Um my wife and I have an indoor playground in Woodland Hills. Um yeah, yeah, we love kids, and uh it's funny because when our kids were younger, my sons just turned sick team may thirties, so you know, but when they were baby, um, you would throw already for them and their friends to come over, and all their parents would just coming. Oh my god, you guys so the best party. She knows me like, and and my wife is like, you know, we should make this a business one day and well, all behold. We have a indoor playground in Woodland Hills called Shooty Goose, which is uh, it is a big thing that I gave my twin boys. We just we just kind of named it the company that and oh my gosh, I'm looking right now online and it looks adorable and we're taking our Is it open on weekends? There's a closed on weekends because a lot of the places normally it colds on weekends, the part. But but it is, but it is open on the weekdays. Um cute. It's fun, it's clean, it's comfortable for the kids and the parents. The parents can they can get their work done, they could make their business calls and not worry about the kids want their offerings like that. It's it's it's safe, you know. We we we've tried to think of everything because my wife and I, between our three children have gone through gone to every playground, indoor, outdoor in the valley. So we just took the things that we liked and the things that we didn't and we incorporated uh that into our own space. That well, Sean, I cannot thank you enough for calling in. I know you have a million things to do because we know how important you are and everything you've paved the way for for you know, and for music, and you know, we just we really truly do you know, idolize you guys and boys two men, and so we're excited. We're going to download your ep um anything and you know what, Yeah, we're going down one stream of a lot. We're gonna buy it. Yeah, thank you very very much. And yeah, I appreciate the call you guys. You actually woke me up because I have to go to a sound check. Well, um, good morning, babe, and I have a great day. We so appreciate it. And um, everyone needs to go see Boys to Men Um at their residency. UM. It continues June seventh, Tickets at ticketmaster dot com. Sean, thank you so much. Um, Sean, thank you brother. I really appreciate your time. Man, No, thank you, thank you a good Yes, I do, I got a great one. Okay, thank you. What do you think? Wow? That took me by surprise, Like you didn't when he was six, started saying, it's like did you not know? No? I knew, but I'm like if someone singing boy, Like, I'm like, why is this person not singing their song? Because we just saw them, so I kind of wrote it off. Oh that's funny because like, babe, it's boys tonight. I know because you already did that for me, right, but you didn't get to talk to us. I felt bad. I know, yeah, you totally blew that weekend d no, And so that's what confused me. I'm like, why why is someone else sing singing ports in right now? That is so funny. That's such a nice guy. Oh my gosh, he was awesome. That's so cool, because you ever think you're the boy that bought his first record? Always men would ever talk to him on the phone and then him in person too. Oh, I forgot to tell him that you bought that freaking bind. I'm like, you've never wanted it. It was more like, okay, do you want like the twenty dollar just a file or do you want to buy this for like it? And I was like, oh okay. I didnt even give you a chance to response. It was so cute, But that was cool, honey. I appreciate that you just go above and beyond. Hey, thank Amy, So she got the contact. Amy, You're the best. Give it up to the sugar, all right. That's where we can't uh make that anybody like that's we're ending the show right now. There's nothing, all right,