Dion dirties Christian’s car, the perfect voicemail message, The Confessional, discussing life’s routines including sleeping and clipping nails, and of course, Really Good!

Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.

 

Dion dirties Christian&rsquo;s car, the perfect voicemail message, The Confessional, discussing life&rsquo;s routines including sleeping and clipping nails, and of course, Really Good!
Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit <a href="https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork">https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork</a> for more info and links to our social media.
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**Nominated for 'Best Comedy' at the Australian Podcast Awards 2018 & 2019**

Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie.

Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someones house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome To Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that stares far too hard at everyday life.

Welcome To Patchwork

Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie.

Dion dirties Christian’s car, the perfect voicemail message, The Confessional, discussing life’s routines including sleeping and clipping nails, and of course, Really Good!

Patch #15 - Leave A Message If You Wish

Josh sold a pair of headphones on Marketplace and made the mistake of trying to give the buyer a warm handover. Wing tips, charging bricks, personal anecdotes - the full corporate knowledge transfer. At what point does helpfulness become a hostage situation?

This kicks off a deep dive into the economics and emotional toll of selling things for ten dollars or less. Is it worth the rigmarole? Dion bundles. Josh has developed a cold, transactional Marketplace philosophy. Christian writes listings like love letters.

Plus: Josh sells a bar fridge to a man who arrives without a plan to get it home. "Do you reckon it'd fit in a cab?". A deposit scheme is proposed, debated, and dismantled. And the boys reflect on whether giving someone the backstory of a product is a basic courtesy or a cry for help.

Follow us on Instagram and YouTube to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork or login to Patreon for the YouTube video link to this Bonus Patch.

Josh sold a pair of headphones on Marketplace and made the mistake of trying to give the buyer a warm handover. Wing tips, charging bricks, personal anecdotes - the full corporate knowledge transfer. At what point does helpfulness become a hostage situation?
This kicks off a deep dive into the economics and emotional toll of selling things for ten dollars or less. Is it worth the rigmarole? Dion bundles. Josh has developed a cold, transactional Marketplace philosophy. Christian writes listings like love letters.
Plus: Josh sells a bar fridge to a man who arrives without a plan to get it home. "Do you reckon it'd fit in a cab?". A deposit scheme is proposed, debated, and dismantled. And the boys reflect on whether giving someone the backstory of a product is a basic courtesy or a cry for help.
Follow us on Instagram and&nbsp;YouTube&nbsp;to see clips from the show: <a href="https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork">linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork</a> or login to Patreon for the YouTube video link to this Bonus Patch.

How Much Effort Is Ten Dollars Worth?

Why won't Josh commit to an arrival time? When he says "I'm 25 minutes away," is that best practice or is it just forcing everyone else to do maths? And at what point does "I'm heading off now" become a riddle?

This week, a friend's shirt button pops off and ignites a surprisingly heated argument about what counts as a basic skill. Can you sew a button? Should you be able to? The boys try to define where the line sits — is it about complexity, or whether you can pick it back up after years of not doing it? Cooking makes the list. Knots spiral into nautical territory. Christian can't tie things off. Dion can't navigate his own neighbourhood. Josh floats the idea that sweeping is so intuitive it barely qualifies. And somehow, the question of whether you should know where the studs are in your own walls becomes genuinely existential.

Plus: Dion steps in dog shit and it becomes a full strategic debrief. Stick or tap first? Is a leaf ever acceptable? Josh nervously pitches the pebble method. Christian insists on hot water from the laundry tap. And the group reflects on the golden age of stepping in dog shit — and why it just doesn't happen like it used to.

When did YouTube become our parents, and how long until prompt engineering is the new sewing a button?

Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Why won't Josh commit to an arrival time? When he says "I'm 25 minutes away," is that best practice or is it just forcing everyone else to do maths? And at what point does "I'm heading off now" become a riddle?
This week, a friend's shirt button pops off and ignites a surprisingly heated argument about what counts as a basic skill. Can you sew a button? Should you be able to? The boys try to define where the line sits &mdash; is it about complexity, or whether you can pick it back up after years of not doing it? Cooking makes the list. Knots spiral into nautical territory. Christian can't tie things off. Dion can't navigate his own neighbourhood. Josh floats the idea that sweeping is so intuitive it barely qualifies. And somehow, the question of whether you should know where the studs are in your own walls becomes genuinely existential.
Plus: Dion steps in dog shit and it becomes a full strategic debrief. Stick or tap first? Is a leaf ever acceptable? Josh nervously pitches the pebble method. Christian insists on hot water from the laundry tap. And the group reflects on the golden age of stepping in dog shit &mdash; and why it just doesn't happen like it used to.
When did YouTube become our parents, and how long until prompt engineering is the new sewing a button?
Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork
For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Patch #152 - Is Sewing A Button A Basic Skill?

We return from the wilderness with our first bonus patch of the new millennium. Y2K couldn't kill us, but 160 days of silence nearly did.

We open with the revelation that Dion recently transferred Christian $9 in exchange for a massage - and we unpack the ethics, the economics, and the emoji that accompanied the bank transfer. When a friend voluntarily rubs your shoulders, how do you extend the session without making it weird? Is $9 too much? Too little? And does Christian still owe Dion time on the clock?

This leads us into a broader interrogation of the professional massage experience. Josh can't justify the cost. Dion's had masseuses check their phone mid-session. Christian has pivoted from remedial to relaxation and isn't looking back. We ask: how much should a good massage cost? Is a great hugger automatically a great masseur? And if you give your partner an hour-long massage and they roll over and go straight to their phone — is that okay?

Plus: Christian's inexplicably elite hand-eye coordination, Josh's devastating table tennis performance, and Dion floating the idea of Patreon studio tours without consulting anyone first.

Follow us on Instagram and YouTube to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork or login to Patreon for the YouTube video link to this Bonus Patch.

We return from the wilderness with our first bonus patch of the new millennium. Y2K couldn't kill us, but 160 days of silence nearly did.
We open with the revelation that Dion recently transferred Christian $9 in exchange for a massage - and we unpack the ethics, the economics, and the emoji that accompanied the bank transfer. When a friend voluntarily rubs your shoulders, how do you extend the session without making it weird? Is $9 too much? Too little? And does Christian still owe Dion time on the clock?
This leads us into a broader interrogation of the professional massage experience. Josh can't justify the cost. Dion's had masseuses check their phone mid-session. Christian has pivoted from remedial to relaxation and isn't looking back. We ask: how much should a good massage cost? Is a great hugger automatically a great masseur? And if you give your partner an hour-long massage and they roll over and go straight to their phone &mdash; is that okay?
Plus: Christian's inexplicably elite hand-eye coordination, Josh's devastating table tennis performance, and Dion floating the idea of Patreon studio tours without consulting anyone first.
Follow us on Instagram and&nbsp;YouTube&nbsp;to see clips from the show: <a href="https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork">linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork</a> or login to Patreon for the YouTube video link to this Bonus Patch.

Patch #15 - Leave A Message If You Wish

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