Dion dirties Christian’s car, the perfect voicemail message, The Confessional, discussing life’s routines including sleeping and clipping nails, and of course, Really Good!

Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.

 

Dion dirties Christian&rsquo;s car, the perfect voicemail message, The Confessional, discussing life&rsquo;s routines including sleeping and clipping nails, and of course, Really Good!
Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit <a href="https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork">https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork</a> for more info and links to our social media.
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**Nominated for 'Best Comedy' at the Australian Podcast Awards 2018 & 2019**

Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie.

Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someones house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome To Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that stares far too hard at everyday life.

Welcome To Patchwork

Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie.

Dion dirties Christian’s car, the perfect voicemail message, The Confessional, discussing life’s routines including sleeping and clipping nails, and of course, Really Good!

Patch #15 - Leave A Message If You Wish

Should you accept a "congrats" for buying a house? What about moving into a rental? The boys try to work out where the line sits between earned achievement and a windfall you didn't quite deserve. 

Then a debate about gift vouchers - specifically, the ethics of giving someone a voucher worth less than the service it's meant for. And should you have to factor in a plus-one when buying someone an experience? And at what age should your mum stop paying your bills? Christian has thoughts, and a confession that will SHOCK you. 

Then it's an age-old question of closing doors quietly. Dion has been trained since childhood to move through a sleeping house like a ghost. Are tiptoes actually quieter, or are heels just an unfairly loud bone? Plus: Is the job of cleaning a bench really done if you've left it wet? Guess the idiot who has strong opinions about this! 

Watch us on YouTube, and follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook , because you don't follow enough useless rubbish on those platforms! www.linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Should you accept a "congrats" for buying a house? What about moving into a rental? The boys try to work out where the line sits between earned achievement and a windfall you didn't quite deserve. Then a debate about gift vouchers - specifically, the ethics of giving someone a voucher worth less than the service it's meant for. And should you have to factor in a plus-one when buying someone an experience? And at what age should your mum stop paying your bills? Christian has thoughts, and a confession that will SHOCK you. Then it's an age-old question of closing doors quietly. Dion has been trained since childhood to move through a sleeping house like a ghost. Are tiptoes actually quieter, or are heels just an unfairly loud bone? Plus: Is the job of cleaning a bench really done if you've left it wet? Guess the idiot who has strong opinions about this! Watch us on YouTube, and follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook , because you don't follow enough useless rubbish on those platforms! <a href="https://www.linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork">www.linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork</a> For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: <a href="https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork">www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork</a>

Patch #154 - Should a Gift Voucher Cover the Entire Gift?

Josh sent a group message inviting people to a Folemore gig. Most people said nothing but Christian replied with a perfectly calibrated decline that praised the artist, validated the invitation, gave a specific reason, and apologised. Josh has been quietly studying it ever since. Is this craftsmanship or surgical politeness? And does it actually count as leadership if you're just modelling good behaviour for the rest of the group thread?

This unspools into a wider interrogation of how we respond, or don't, to the things people send us. Is it acceptable to make a joke about a YouTube video based on the title alone? Should "watch later" lists be honoured? Christian shares a song he's excited about, gets a "will glisten" in reply, and never sends another. Dion proposes that we should be checking our messages intentionally, not reactively, and the boys briefly invent a curated end-of-day media inbox before realising it already exists and they just don't use it.

Plus: A pitch for a new Patchwork side project where the boys record an hour of deliberately uninteresting background conversation for people to study to. A lettuce-and-Doritos shopping anecdote is auditioned in real time. Pneumatic gates at private preschools are praised. A nature strip is admired.

Josh sent a group message inviting people to a Folemore gig. Most people said nothing but Christian replied with a perfectly calibrated decline that praised the artist, validated the invitation, gave a specific reason, and apologised. Josh has been quietly studying it ever since. Is this craftsmanship or surgical politeness? And does it actually count as leadership if you're just modelling good behaviour for the rest of the group thread?
This unspools into a wider interrogation of how we respond, or don't, to the things people send us. Is it acceptable to make a joke about a YouTube video based on the title alone? Should "watch later" lists be honoured? Christian shares a song he's excited about, gets a "will glisten" in reply, and never sends another. Dion proposes that we should be checking our messages intentionally, not reactively, and the boys briefly invent a curated end-of-day media inbox before realising it already exists and they just don't use it.
Plus: A pitch for a new Patchwork side project where the boys record an hour of deliberately uninteresting background conversation for people to study to. A lettuce-and-Doritos shopping anecdote is auditioned in real time. Pneumatic gates at private preschools are praised. A nature strip is admired.

Should You Reply To A Group Invite?

Christian notices that some of the old European men in his neighbourhood have netted their fruit trees - but left others completely uncovered. Does that mean the uncovered ones are fair game? At what point does abundance become an invitation? And is it trespassing if you're just grabbing a lemon?

The boys try to draw the line between community generosity and petty theft, working through the hierarchy of who deserves the fruit first. Dion wouldn't bat an eye if someone took his basil. Josh isn't buying it. A doorbell sketch is attempted and immediately derailed.

Then Josh recounts the delicate social purgatory of being at his partner's friend's 50th birthday and hearing the words "let's get going" - only to spend the next twenty minutes hovering politely while she fires up new conversations on the way out. What's your role when the exit has been called but nobody's actually leaving? Do you engage? Do you hover? And is ordering another drink a signal that you've given up, or the smartest move available?

Plus: Can you say you've read a book if you've only listened to it? Dion gets into an argument with a near-stranger about audiobooks and immediately regrets it. Christian confesses to a recurring six-month Kindle cycle. And the boys wrestle with the strange shame of not being a reader - and whether "I'm enjoying this book" is the loophole we've all been looking for.

Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Christian notices that some of the old European men in his neighbourhood have netted their fruit trees - but left others completely uncovered. Does that mean the uncovered ones are fair game? At what point does abundance become an invitation? And is it trespassing if you're just grabbing a lemon?
The boys try to draw the line between community generosity and petty theft, working through the hierarchy of who deserves the fruit first. Dion wouldn't bat an eye if someone took his basil. Josh isn't buying it. A doorbell sketch is attempted and immediately derailed.
Then Josh recounts the delicate social purgatory of being at his partner's friend's 50th birthday and hearing the words "let's get going" - only to spend the next twenty minutes hovering politely while she fires up new conversations on the way out. What's your role when the exit has been called but nobody's actually leaving? Do you engage? Do you hover? And is ordering another drink a signal that you've given up, or the smartest move available?
Plus: Can you say you've read a book if you've only listened to it? Dion gets into an argument with a near-stranger about audiobooks and immediately regrets it. Christian confesses to a recurring six-month Kindle cycle. And the boys wrestle with the strange shame of not being a reader - and whether "I'm enjoying this book" is the loophole we've all been looking for. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork
For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Patch #15 - Leave A Message If You Wish

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