Dion dirties Christian’s car, the perfect voicemail message, The Confessional, discussing life’s routines including sleeping and clipping nails, and of course, Really Good!

Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media.

 

Dion dirties Christian&rsquo;s car, the perfect voicemail message, The Confessional, discussing life&rsquo;s routines including sleeping and clipping nails, and of course, Really Good!
Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit <a href="https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork">https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork</a> for more info and links to our social media.
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**Nominated for 'Best Comedy' at the Australian Podcast Awards 2018 & 2019**

Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie.

Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someones house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome To Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that stares far too hard at everyday life.

Welcome To Patchwork

Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie.

Dion dirties Christian’s car, the perfect voicemail message, The Confessional, discussing life’s routines including sleeping and clipping nails, and of course, Really Good!

Patch #15 - Leave A Message If You Wish

Josh drops a chopstick at a restaurant and, without thinking, flags down the waiter for a new one. Dion and Christian are baffled. To them, you pick it up, you wipe it, and then you keep eating. To Josh, that's grub behaviour! We try to work out where the line is between sensible hygiene and prissy fussing, and whether wiping a fork on your t-shirt actually does anything. 

Then Christian gets pulled up over a request he made in a work meeting: He asked people to turn their cameras on. We try and establish when the camera-off culture took hold, and whether eating during a meeting is a fair play or rudeness of the highest order. 

Plus: would you rather eat a Dorito in its current form, or shaped like a Pringle and stacked in a tube? Christian thinks Pringles have figured something out the rest of the industry hasn't.

The episode closes with the three of us trying to recreate a Vangelis instrument with our noses. You'll know the bit.

Follow us on Instagram, YouTube and Facebook: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Josh drops a chopstick at a restaurant and, without thinking, flags down the waiter for a new one. Dion and Christian are baffled. To them, you pick it up, you wipe it, and then you keep eating. To Josh, that's grub behaviour! We try to work out where the line is between sensible hygiene and prissy fussing, and whether wiping a fork on your t-shirt actually does anything. Then Christian gets pulled up over a request he made in a work meeting: He asked people to turn their cameras on. We try and establish when the camera-off culture took hold, and whether eating during a meeting is a fair play or rudeness of the highest order.&nbsp; Plus: would you rather eat a Dorito in its current form, or shaped like a Pringle and stacked in a tube? Christian thinks Pringles have figured something out the rest of the industry hasn't.
The episode closes with the three of us trying to recreate a Vangelis instrument with our noses. You'll know the bit. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube and Facebook: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

Patch #157 - If You Drop A Chopstick, Should You Ask For A New One?

Why do pubs put foreign currency all over the wall? Christian noticed it for the first time and now he can't unsee it. Is it a love letter to international travellers, a quiet way for backpackers to offload useless złoty, or just lazy decor copied from every other pub in town?

Then somehow we end up stack-ranking who is the most miserable of the three. Christian wins on volume and consistency, but Josh wins on reaching the lowest depths, because he's Josh. 

Plus: the red cycle soft plastics betrayal, what landfill actually looks like (nobody knows), and the impossibility of living an ethical life when your iPhone, your AliExpress habit, and the billionaire's yacht are all part of the same problem.

Why do pubs put foreign currency all over the wall? Christian noticed it for the first time and now he can't unsee it. Is it a love letter to international travellers, a quiet way for backpackers to offload useless złoty, or just lazy decor copied from every other pub in town?
Then somehow we end up stack-ranking who is the most miserable of the three. Christian wins on volume and consistency, but Josh wins on reaching the lowest depths, because he's Josh.&nbsp;
Plus: the red cycle soft plastics betrayal, what landfill actually looks like (nobody knows), and the impossibility of living an ethical life when your iPhone, your AliExpress habit, and the billionaire's yacht are all part of the same problem.

Is It Worth Keeping Leftover Foreign Currency?

If someone offers you a hot cross bun and it arrives without fruit, have you been deceived? Christian thinks his mum needs to manage expectations better. Josh argues hot cross buns have evolved into a category, like pizza, and you should be able to ask for the variant you want. And Dion wonders why a baker's dozen exists in the first place. The boys settle nothing.

Josh has booked himself into a 40th birthday predicament. He sent a “save the date” to roughly 70 people, assuming unlimited capacity, lost his original venue, and now has to work out how to politely tell people they may no longer be invited. Should plus ones be welcome only if he's met them? And how big a bar tab is reasonable? 

Plus: Christian is shopping for a storage cabinet for his records and gets derailed by a contact form that auto-populates "can you tell me more" into the subject line. The boys workshop the perfect email subject line for every occasion, including bookings, complaints, and inquiries. Surnames or first names? Commas or vertical bars? Order numbers above or below the "hi team"?

Watch us on YouTube, and follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook, because you don't follow enough useless rubbish on those platforms!www.linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork

For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week. Sign up at: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork

If someone offers you a hot cross bun and it arrives without fruit, have you been deceived? Christian thinks his mum needs to manage expectations better. Josh argues hot cross buns have evolved into a category, like pizza, and you should be able to ask for the variant you want. And Dion wonders why a baker's dozen exists in the first place. The boys settle nothing.
Josh has booked himself into a 40th birthday predicament. He sent a &ldquo;save the date&rdquo; to roughly 70 people, assuming unlimited capacity, lost his original venue, and now has to work out how to politely tell people they may no longer be invited. Should plus ones be welcome only if he's met them? And how big a bar tab is reasonable?&nbsp;
Plus: Christian is shopping for a storage cabinet for his records and gets derailed by a contact form that auto-populates "can you tell me more" into the subject line. The boys workshop the perfect email subject line for every occasion, including bookings, complaints, and inquiries. Surnames or first names? Commas or vertical bars? Order numbers above or below the "hi team"?
Watch us on YouTube, and follow us on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook, because you don't follow enough useless rubbish on those platforms!<a href="https://www.linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork"> </a><a href="https://www.linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork">www.linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork</a>
For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week. Sign up at:<a href="https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork"> www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork</a>

Patch #15 - Leave A Message If You Wish

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