Are you ready to unpack some things today?

Are you ready to unpack some things today?

So I guess so, as long as it's not my my suitcase.

So I guess so, as long as it's not my my suitcase.

I was really wondering where you were about to go with that, the way that you your tone of voice switched. I was like, where is he about to take?

I was really wondering where you were about to go with that, the way that you your tone of voice switched. I was like, where is he about to take?

Is going to make a confession now, I'm the truth is I'm terrible about unpacking my suitcase.

Is going to make a confession now, I'm the truth is I'm terrible about unpacking my suitcase.

Wait wait, so you're saying, oh, I said, as long as it's.

Wait wait, so you're saying, oh, I said, as long as it's.

Not my suitcase. I'm just really bad about it. I just like a month. Yeah, yeah, I'm really bad at it.

Not my suitcase. I'm just really bad about it. I just like a month. Yeah, yeah, I'm really bad at it.

There's two types of people in this world, for sure, And we've talked about this as our friend Ryan, he is like the guy that walks in the door and immediately unpacks his suitcase and does the laundry and all the things. I have the most respect for people like that. I think that is such a wonderful characteristic. I, however, am completely the opposite.

There's two types of people in this world, for sure, And we've talked about this as our friend Ryan, he is like the guy that walks in the door and immediately unpacks his suitcase and does the laundry and all the things. I have the most respect for people like that. I think that is such a wonderful characteristic. I, however, am completely the opposite.

But me too, I like will use it, you know, I'll pull the things out of it that I haven't worn before. I'll like pull close out of my drawer. But then I also, like I'm guilty of like putting clean clothes that are unfolded in the suitcase and.

But me too, I like will use it, you know, I'll pull the things out of it that I haven't worn before. I'll like pull close out of my drawer. But then I also, like I'm guilty of like putting clean clothes that are unfolded in the suitcase and.

Closing the suitcase. No, I one hundred percent do the same thing because sometimes, like if you have someone come into your house and you haven't unpacked your suitcase, that doesn't mean I'm going to unpack the suitcase. It means I'll probably close the suitcase or put more stuff in the suitcase, close the suitcase and go put it upstairs in my closet.

Closing the suitcase. No, I one hundred percent do the same thing because sometimes, like if you have someone come into your house and you haven't unpacked your suitcase, that doesn't mean I'm going to unpack the suitcase. It means I'll probably close the suitcase or put more stuff in the suitcase, close the suitcase and go put it upstairs in my closet.

And then you'd be like, where is that shirt?

And then you'd be like, where is that shirt?

Yeah, oh gosh. I'll think things are lost or missing for months, and then I actually go on another trip and I realize, oh, I never unpacked.

Yeah, oh gosh. I'll think things are lost or missing for months, and then I actually go on another trip and I realize, oh, I never unpacked.

My suitcase, and it's like a nice find. At that point, you're like sweet.

My suitcase, and it's like a nice find. At that point, you're like sweet.

Yeah. There also comes a little bit of shame for me because I hear Ryan's voice being like, you're that person, and I am full I will admit it, full force.

Yeah. There also comes a little bit of shame for me because I hear Ryan's voice being like, you're that person, and I am full I will admit it, full force.

I am that person the person that folds all my laundry to and just leaves it on my kitchen counter until it's not there anymore.

I am that person the person that folds all my laundry to and just leaves it on my kitchen counter until it's not there anymore.

The worst thing that ever happened to me was moving into a house that had a like cabinet in my laundry room because there's like a countertop, so it's always and clothes I never put close away anymore.

The worst thing that ever happened to me was moving into a house that had a like cabinet in my laundry room because there's like a countertop, so it's always and clothes I never put close away anymore.

The beauty is you and I both live alone, so no one can bitch.

The beauty is you and I both live alone, so no one can bitch.

About it for now. Yes, well we're here today. I mean that whole topic is a little bit triggering to me, so that's that's perfect. Well, we always do the follow up of Wednesday, right, And so I had Michelle Chelle font on if you guys haven't listened to that podcast. I loved talking to her. Could you tell Chip like I really enjoyed she Oh was I shit, I don't even listen back, but I just I geek out. I felt like we saw things through the same lens, and we're very in line. And I'm such a nerd about psychology and astrology and healing and all those things, and she and I were just very much in line with our thinking. So we kept getting so excited, both of us because she would say something and I would go, that's what I think, or then I would.

About it for now. Yes, well we're here today. I mean that whole topic is a little bit triggering to me, so that's that's perfect. Well, we always do the follow up of Wednesday, right, And so I had Michelle Chelle font on if you guys haven't listened to that podcast. I loved talking to her. Could you tell Chip like I really enjoyed she Oh was I shit, I don't even listen back, but I just I geek out. I felt like we saw things through the same lens, and we're very in line. And I'm such a nerd about psychology and astrology and healing and all those things, and she and I were just very much in line with our thinking. So we kept getting so excited, both of us because she would say something and I would go, that's what I think, or then I would.

Put in back, Yeah, you were like, are we best friends? No?

Put in back, Yeah, you were like, are we best friends? No?

I literally was like, are we supposed to be best friends?

I literally was like, are we supposed to be best friends?

Style?

Style?

Well, she used to live here, so that was so weird, But no, we exchange numbers like we genuinely really really bonded. So anyway, that podcast is great because she is so knowledgeable and we did have so much in common to just shoot the shit about how difficult sometimes it is to live in our adult selves. And she's written this book it's called The Adult Chair, and it's about all about like how to move into your chair, which is a therapy term. They talk about having a child chair, a teenager chair, and your adult chair, and so she wants everyone to move obviously into their adult chair. But it's really interesting because most of us, until you really start addressing some of the stuff that's happened, are happening inside of you. Most of us are operating from either a child or a teenager chair. Like our reactions, our responses, the way that we respond to things, the things that we think we're capable of, our belief systems, our narratives are mostly coming from a stunted place until their address. That's just like humans, you know. And she does a way better job of explaining all that than I did. So go listen to that podcast, But you actually listen this morning, and you were texting me about some of the stuff, saying, oh my god, I make fun of the word triggers so bad, and I just learned just so much about triggers. So I felt like you should tell the listeners some of your experience in listening to that podcast, because yeah, I am such a nerd with this stuff and I do talk about it so much, and I have like been in the therapy world for so long that I think sometimes the stuff I'm talking about or the way I'm talking about it is probably not as relatable as what you were saying to me, right right, I want the listeners to have that experience as well.

Well, she used to live here, so that was so weird, But no, we exchange numbers like we genuinely really really bonded. So anyway, that podcast is great because she is so knowledgeable and we did have so much in common to just shoot the shit about how difficult sometimes it is to live in our adult selves. And she's written this book it's called The Adult Chair, and it's about all about like how to move into your chair, which is a therapy term. They talk about having a child chair, a teenager chair, and your adult chair, and so she wants everyone to move obviously into their adult chair. But it's really interesting because most of us, until you really start addressing some of the stuff that's happened, are happening inside of you. Most of us are operating from either a child or a teenager chair. Like our reactions, our responses, the way that we respond to things, the things that we think we're capable of, our belief systems, our narratives are mostly coming from a stunted place until their address. That's just like humans, you know. And she does a way better job of explaining all that than I did. So go listen to that podcast, But you actually listen this morning, and you were texting me about some of the stuff, saying, oh my god, I make fun of the word triggers so bad, and I just learned just so much about triggers. So I felt like you should tell the listeners some of your experience in listening to that podcast, because yeah, I am such a nerd with this stuff and I do talk about it so much, and I have like been in the therapy world for so long that I think sometimes the stuff I'm talking about or the way I'm talking about it is probably not as relatable as what you were saying to me, right right, I want the listeners to have that experience as well.

One of the first things that I noticed was that teen or adolescent chair goes up to like twenty four, which you know, it's funny because the older I get, the younger young people seem to me. And I don't think that's unique to me. I think that's just getting older. But I you know, I look at college kids now today, I'm like, they're children, Like who letting me go live by myself?

One of the first things that I noticed was that teen or adolescent chair goes up to like twenty four, which you know, it's funny because the older I get, the younger young people seem to me. And I don't think that's unique to me. I think that's just getting older. But I you know, I look at college kids now today, I'm like, they're children, Like who letting me go live by myself?

You know, I can't.

You know, I can't.

It's just blows my mind. But in those moments when you are eighteen to twenty four years old, like you feel like you've grown up, and the truth is is like you're really not, like you're still developing, but you're also going through like really major things in your life. And for me, I was moving a million miles a minute. I don't think that I was even realizing any of the baggage that I was picking up along the way. And now that I'm almost fifty years old, I'm a lot more settled into who I am. So I don't know that there's like necessarily like new traumas that are happening to me. But I also think too, it's like when you're looking at those like developmental years, it makes sense that by the time you're double that like you're gonna be a little bit more settled just because your life has you know, you've developed into who you are and you have to at some point either like deal with the problems or just accept who you are and be happy in your skin. Whatever. To me, I was laughing because I make fun of you for saying things trigger you, And then I was listening to the importance of recognizing your triggers because they're not about the trigger. They're about what is being triggered within you. It's not that like what has triggered you in the moment, it's about what it makes you that trigger makes you feel like Now it doesn't even sound like a word upset many times, and that it actually isn't about the moment, it's about your past and the line from then till now. And it made me think like, well, what are some of my triggers. I don't know that I have any triggers, like cause I grew up in a house that we didn't talk about how we were feeling. We didn't talk about emotions, we didn't talk about personal growth. I saw my father cry like twice, but I was a cry baby. Like I cried all the time when I was younger. It was super sensitive. But I think that I look back and I'm like, wait a minute, So maybe not having triggers is one of my triggers because I think I pushed myself down when I started to recognize myself as gay at a young age and not wanting to be discovered. So it was like that really emotional kid that was like super sensitive and willing to cry and loved puppies and all the things. I couldn't let that person show because it was a sign. And to me, listening to this was like a little bit triggering because it made me recognize the work that I haven't done, you know, She talked about pillars and I wrote them down and I'm being very unprepared. Oh, she talked about these the pillars. Do you wanted to describe the pillars and like where they fit in this whole conversation.

It's just blows my mind. But in those moments when you are eighteen to twenty four years old, like you feel like you've grown up, and the truth is is like you're really not, like you're still developing, but you're also going through like really major things in your life. And for me, I was moving a million miles a minute. I don't think that I was even realizing any of the baggage that I was picking up along the way. And now that I'm almost fifty years old, I'm a lot more settled into who I am. So I don't know that there's like necessarily like new traumas that are happening to me. But I also think too, it's like when you're looking at those like developmental years, it makes sense that by the time you're double that like you're gonna be a little bit more settled just because your life has you know, you've developed into who you are and you have to at some point either like deal with the problems or just accept who you are and be happy in your skin. Whatever. To me, I was laughing because I make fun of you for saying things trigger you, And then I was listening to the importance of recognizing your triggers because they're not about the trigger. They're about what is being triggered within you. It's not that like what has triggered you in the moment, it's about what it makes you that trigger makes you feel like Now it doesn't even sound like a word upset many times, and that it actually isn't about the moment, it's about your past and the line from then till now. And it made me think like, well, what are some of my triggers. I don't know that I have any triggers, like cause I grew up in a house that we didn't talk about how we were feeling. We didn't talk about emotions, we didn't talk about personal growth. I saw my father cry like twice, but I was a cry baby. Like I cried all the time when I was younger. It was super sensitive. But I think that I look back and I'm like, wait a minute, So maybe not having triggers is one of my triggers because I think I pushed myself down when I started to recognize myself as gay at a young age and not wanting to be discovered. So it was like that really emotional kid that was like super sensitive and willing to cry and loved puppies and all the things. I couldn't let that person show because it was a sign. And to me, listening to this was like a little bit triggering because it made me recognize the work that I haven't done, you know, She talked about pillars and I wrote them down and I'm being very unprepared. Oh, she talked about these the pillars. Do you wanted to describe the pillars and like where they fit in this whole conversation.

And oh, the pillars are basically her version of how to get to your adult chair. So in the book, I think she breaks down these different these five different steps to get to your home the adult self, and they're really these like building blocks, right, So we discussed a lot of those on the podcast recorded this. I just wanted you took these notes.

And oh, the pillars are basically her version of how to get to your adult chair. So in the book, I think she breaks down these different these five different steps to get to your home the adult self, and they're really these like building blocks, right, So we discussed a lot of those on the podcast recorded this. I just wanted you took these notes.

So the first pilor is to own your own reality happening in your life so that you can address it. So, I mean, I think that is some of this stuff sounds so obvious. So to those of you that it is obvious to, I apologize. But for me, it like sort of hit home and it's like thinking that I didn't have any triggers. It's an obvious indicator that I haven't really owned my reality because we all have some sort of trauma that we're dealing with. Piller number two was to practice self compassion and to create a loving voice for yourself, and she recommended like that voice can be anything. It can be what you think your dog sounds like, or it could be Bradley Cooper. I think was the example that she's, Yeah, so you know when you are feeling these things, that you can talk to yourself in a way that's loving instead of beating yourself up and making the issues worse, and that helps you evolve. Number three was to feel your emotions, and she said, even if you don't know what the emotion is, what it's called, like, recognize the feeling. Yeah, And you know, then once you've recognized the feeling, I think then you can go discover what it is and what's causing it and blah blah blah. And then number four was own your triggers. And I was like, well, what what are my triggers? I don't have any triggers like and Kelly and I were talking before we started recording, and one of my triggers is I don't like to show up to things by myself. It makes me feel unwanted, disliked, which is funny. She like laughed. She was like, Oh my god, of all of my friends like that really do it so much that I would have never thought that was a trigger for you, and I guess in some ways, it's like the fact that I am able to peel myself off the couch and just do it is me dealing with it, you know, like without recognizing that I've accepted that reality. I mean, look, I am single. It's it's very likely that I'm going to have to show up places by myself. But I think it was growing up in a small town. I was often with groups of people that were my friends, but they were more friends of circumstance because we were to the same church, or we went to the same school, or our parents were friends or and I'm still friends with a lot of them, but like I wouldn't have necessarily chosen them as my friends, and I had to hide things. So it was like I was always worried about showing up, and I probably wasn't authentically showing up because I was worried about being liked or not or whatever. It was. So showing up places alone is really triggering for me. And then I said, the irony is is I do crazy shit like sign up for improv class without anything yourself. Yeah, yeah, Like I just did a comedy writing class by myself, and like I sort of thrive in those sort of environments, but it is really triggering. Go ahead, well, I was just gonna say, I mean, it had never occurred to me, Like maybe that is me working through something like that without having the compassionate voice that I needed to be like you can do this.

So the first pilor is to own your own reality happening in your life so that you can address it. So, I mean, I think that is some of this stuff sounds so obvious. So to those of you that it is obvious to, I apologize. But for me, it like sort of hit home and it's like thinking that I didn't have any triggers. It's an obvious indicator that I haven't really owned my reality because we all have some sort of trauma that we're dealing with. Piller number two was to practice self compassion and to create a loving voice for yourself, and she recommended like that voice can be anything. It can be what you think your dog sounds like, or it could be Bradley Cooper. I think was the example that she's, Yeah, so you know when you are feeling these things, that you can talk to yourself in a way that's loving instead of beating yourself up and making the issues worse, and that helps you evolve. Number three was to feel your emotions, and she said, even if you don't know what the emotion is, what it's called, like, recognize the feeling. Yeah, And you know, then once you've recognized the feeling, I think then you can go discover what it is and what's causing it and blah blah blah. And then number four was own your triggers. And I was like, well, what what are my triggers? I don't have any triggers like and Kelly and I were talking before we started recording, and one of my triggers is I don't like to show up to things by myself. It makes me feel unwanted, disliked, which is funny. She like laughed. She was like, Oh my god, of all of my friends like that really do it so much that I would have never thought that was a trigger for you, and I guess in some ways, it's like the fact that I am able to peel myself off the couch and just do it is me dealing with it, you know, like without recognizing that I've accepted that reality. I mean, look, I am single. It's it's very likely that I'm going to have to show up places by myself. But I think it was growing up in a small town. I was often with groups of people that were my friends, but they were more friends of circumstance because we were to the same church, or we went to the same school, or our parents were friends or and I'm still friends with a lot of them, but like I wouldn't have necessarily chosen them as my friends, and I had to hide things. So it was like I was always worried about showing up, and I probably wasn't authentically showing up because I was worried about being liked or not or whatever. It was. So showing up places alone is really triggering for me. And then I said, the irony is is I do crazy shit like sign up for improv class without anything yourself. Yeah, yeah, Like I just did a comedy writing class by myself, and like I sort of thrive in those sort of environments, but it is really triggering. Go ahead, well, I was just gonna say, I mean, it had never occurred to me, Like maybe that is me working through something like that without having the compassionate voice that I needed to be like you can do this.

Or even the awareness of what was happening, Like I think, what's really interesting. I have two things I wanted to kind of point out. You said this when we were on the phone. You're like, I think I just sort of feel shame that I like, I don't know what my triggers are yet. And I thought that was such a good point that you made, because that is what we do to ourselves, right. It's like you immediately assume that everyone else, like you said it just then you go, well, if this is like really dumb to everyone, like this is very obvious, it just wasn't to me. So immediately you were kind of like wanting to make sure that everyone else knew, like you said to everyone else, like I realize I'm kind of behind or something. The reality is is like you're not. You're exactly on time. We always all are, like you show up when you're supposed to get it, and when that's supposed to be shown to you or it's not. You show up, you see it when you're supposed to. And like we're all on different journeys, like I always say, and so some people's shit hits the fan at a different time, like mine hit really early. But that doesn't mean that like I've gotten it all figured out, or that I'm not constantly kind of bumping up against these same kind of things. It's a lifelong journey. So like just because it looks different than mine or someone else's or whatever, like that doesn't mean that you're behind or you're doing it wrong or you've missed it. Like you're here now, you're saying it, you're doing it, you're realizing it, Like that's doing the work. That's what that means, you know. And I think we just make up that it's supposed to be this perfect journey and you're supposed to have it figured out and everyone else has it figured out, and that's just not true. That's not the way this looks. And so first of all, that is one piece of shame, like you could take off, because I think a lot of people probably resonate with exactly what you just said, and it can feel overwhelming when you're learning all these new words or like it's being thrown at you all at once and you're like, wait, I don't even know the answer, but you're not supposed to yet. Like what happened to you today was you got this new awareness of what a trigger even is really because I don't know that you we like make fun of that word because it is such a fucking buzzword. It's everywhere.

Or even the awareness of what was happening, Like I think, what's really interesting. I have two things I wanted to kind of point out. You said this when we were on the phone. You're like, I think I just sort of feel shame that I like, I don't know what my triggers are yet. And I thought that was such a good point that you made, because that is what we do to ourselves, right. It's like you immediately assume that everyone else, like you said it just then you go, well, if this is like really dumb to everyone, like this is very obvious, it just wasn't to me. So immediately you were kind of like wanting to make sure that everyone else knew, like you said to everyone else, like I realize I'm kind of behind or something. The reality is is like you're not. You're exactly on time. We always all are, like you show up when you're supposed to get it, and when that's supposed to be shown to you or it's not. You show up, you see it when you're supposed to. And like we're all on different journeys, like I always say, and so some people's shit hits the fan at a different time, like mine hit really early. But that doesn't mean that like I've gotten it all figured out, or that I'm not constantly kind of bumping up against these same kind of things. It's a lifelong journey. So like just because it looks different than mine or someone else's or whatever, like that doesn't mean that you're behind or you're doing it wrong or you've missed it. Like you're here now, you're saying it, you're doing it, you're realizing it, Like that's doing the work. That's what that means, you know. And I think we just make up that it's supposed to be this perfect journey and you're supposed to have it figured out and everyone else has it figured out, and that's just not true. That's not the way this looks. And so first of all, that is one piece of shame, like you could take off, because I think a lot of people probably resonate with exactly what you just said, and it can feel overwhelming when you're learning all these new words or like it's being thrown at you all at once and you're like, wait, I don't even know the answer, but you're not supposed to yet. Like what happened to you today was you got this new awareness of what a trigger even is really because I don't know that you we like make fun of that word because it is such a fucking buzzword. It's everywhere.

Yeah, I mean I feel like it's just probably overused, it is.

Yeah, I mean I feel like it's just probably overused, it is.

It's kind of annoying that certain terms because they are useful, they're helpful, so it's it's it's such a I don't know, a hate that stuff gets so overdone on social media that we kind of make fun of it because it is a very valuable word in your own like self journey of awareness and healing and whatever you want to call it. But yeah, so like it came to you today, And what's probably gonna happen now if I had to guess, is you'll be going about life and something will happen and instead of passing through it like you might have before, it'll hit you, Oh, oh, this is that thing. I'm being triggered right now, Like it'll and then you'll kind of maybe be able to start connecting dots and like it just starts to happen like that, and then you'll keep going in life and it'll happen faster, like you'll notice something quicker, or you'll connect the dots quicker of what the feeling is with that trigger, and it just gets easier to move through it or you do it more quickly, and like that is what a healing journey looks like. It doesn't mean you never get triggered. You've passed that test and you can put it behind you. You don't have to like you know all the answers, you realize all your triggers or whatever you like. That's just not how it works. We're always on this journey of learning more, uncovering more, peeling back the layers of an onion. That's another therapy term that's ever used, but it is helpful think about that way. So anyway, I'm just glad that you're talking about it, because I really think more people than you know probably resonate with that, and there is no shame in that, Like there's such a beautiful thing for me to witness this, Like like I said, I've known you so long, I would have never known that that was a hard moment for you. I literally was shocked. Was I not? I was like, yeah, totally, because I would have never thought that with you. But the thing that's cool is that you do still do it because there's a part of you that loves experiences and going out and doing activities. You don't let it hold you back. The trigger is what is it making you feel? And where is that actually coming from? Because no one at that party is looking at you thinking look at that guy, or I can't believe Chip showed up alone, what is he thinking?

It's kind of annoying that certain terms because they are useful, they're helpful, so it's it's it's such a I don't know, a hate that stuff gets so overdone on social media that we kind of make fun of it because it is a very valuable word in your own like self journey of awareness and healing and whatever you want to call it. But yeah, so like it came to you today, And what's probably gonna happen now if I had to guess, is you'll be going about life and something will happen and instead of passing through it like you might have before, it'll hit you, Oh, oh, this is that thing. I'm being triggered right now, Like it'll and then you'll kind of maybe be able to start connecting dots and like it just starts to happen like that, and then you'll keep going in life and it'll happen faster, like you'll notice something quicker, or you'll connect the dots quicker of what the feeling is with that trigger, and it just gets easier to move through it or you do it more quickly, and like that is what a healing journey looks like. It doesn't mean you never get triggered. You've passed that test and you can put it behind you. You don't have to like you know all the answers, you realize all your triggers or whatever you like. That's just not how it works. We're always on this journey of learning more, uncovering more, peeling back the layers of an onion. That's another therapy term that's ever used, but it is helpful think about that way. So anyway, I'm just glad that you're talking about it, because I really think more people than you know probably resonate with that, and there is no shame in that, Like there's such a beautiful thing for me to witness this, Like like I said, I've known you so long, I would have never known that that was a hard moment for you. I literally was shocked. Was I not? I was like, yeah, totally, because I would have never thought that with you. But the thing that's cool is that you do still do it because there's a part of you that loves experiences and going out and doing activities. You don't let it hold you back. The trigger is what is it making you feel? And where is that actually coming from? Because no one at that party is looking at you thinking look at that guy, or I can't believe Chip showed up alone, what is he thinking?

You know, well, I also think too, And you know, reading about triggers today is that I think it's something important that had never occurred to me as well, is that if there is a person that is triggering you, that does something that triggers you, it's not.

You know, well, I also think too, And you know, reading about triggers today is that I think it's something important that had never occurred to me as well, is that if there is a person that is triggering you, that does something that triggers you, it's not.

About that, No, but we like that it's so much easier to make it about.

About that, No, but we like that it's so much easier to make it about.

That because and when I think about it in terms of me walking into a party by myself or something like, I'm putting all that on other people, like what what are they gonna think? Yeah, it has nothing they're not. They're just not just having fun here, like that's probably the extent of it. So that was an eye opening thing for me to read today too, because it's not even about that moment or that person. You can't place blame on them, which then means you have to look at yourself and be like, Okay, what the fuck is going on? Why do I feel this way?

That because and when I think about it in terms of me walking into a party by myself or something like, I'm putting all that on other people, like what what are they gonna think? Yeah, it has nothing they're not. They're just not just having fun here, like that's probably the extent of it. So that was an eye opening thing for me to read today too, because it's not even about that moment or that person. You can't place blame on them, which then means you have to look at yourself and be like, Okay, what the fuck is going on? Why do I feel this way?

And yeah, and then when you really start connecting the dots of what happened back in the past or when did this start? That's what I always will think of to myself and think of my hit. Therapists helped me with that one a long time ago, but like when did that start? And I'll start tracing back and it's like you can start seeing those things happened along the path and then you go, oh, the originals sometimes will be back when you were like three years old or you know, like it's so wild when you really start to trace back to the whares and the whys and the winds that happened, because that's where the point of we're operating from our childlike self often in adult life comes from, because it's like we're reacting as our three year old self that got wounded, but you're a fifty year old man or almost fifty year old man. Sorry to give you take away that year almost fifty year old man in a totally different scenario. So, like the feeling is really old, and it's like just interesting to think about, how do you become the fifty year old our forty nine year old? Sorry that I keep doing that, Jesus is that so it's fine, Well you do it, That's why it's in my head. Yeah, I need to remember that you're forty nine. But yeah, but like, how do you start operating from the forty nine year old version and not the three year old And a lot of people just never look at that. So again, you're like light years ahead because you're doing it at all.

And yeah, and then when you really start connecting the dots of what happened back in the past or when did this start? That's what I always will think of to myself and think of my hit. Therapists helped me with that one a long time ago, but like when did that start? And I'll start tracing back and it's like you can start seeing those things happened along the path and then you go, oh, the originals sometimes will be back when you were like three years old or you know, like it's so wild when you really start to trace back to the whares and the whys and the winds that happened, because that's where the point of we're operating from our childlike self often in adult life comes from, because it's like we're reacting as our three year old self that got wounded, but you're a fifty year old man or almost fifty year old man. Sorry to give you take away that year almost fifty year old man in a totally different scenario. So, like the feeling is really old, and it's like just interesting to think about, how do you become the fifty year old our forty nine year old? Sorry that I keep doing that, Jesus is that so it's fine, Well you do it, That's why it's in my head. Yeah, I need to remember that you're forty nine. But yeah, but like, how do you start operating from the forty nine year old version and not the three year old And a lot of people just never look at that. So again, you're like light years ahead because you're doing it at all.

I think. I think it's also you know, me saying that I don't recognize trig or even realize that I have them. It must be a result of pushing it down, pushing down, pushing it down, and not paying attention to it purposely, not that they don't exist, you know, because otherwise I would be like an emotionless blob.

I think. I think it's also you know, me saying that I don't recognize trig or even realize that I have them. It must be a result of pushing it down, pushing down, pushing it down, and not paying attention to it purposely, not that they don't exist, you know, because otherwise I would be like an emotionless blob.

Of course, And.

Of course, And.

You know, I've always wanted to come from a really positive place and like have everyone like me and all of the things, So it's like that that's also a defense mechanism, you know, just acting in a certain way to protect yourself from not being liked. But yeah, even recognizing today that I have triggers, I can't wait to see how it opens the door for me.

You know, I've always wanted to come from a really positive place and like have everyone like me and all of the things, So it's like that that's also a defense mechanism, you know, just acting in a certain way to protect yourself from not being liked. But yeah, even recognizing today that I have triggers, I can't wait to see how it opens the door for me.

Yeah, me too. This is where I get nerdy and I like get so excited because I'm just to me. The reason to do all of this stuff isn't to go into the deep trenches and suffer through therapy. It's to open up all of these places into our awareness so that the world gets bigger and brighter and better and like more vivacious. And just like if you can feel the pain of things and actually figure out where that is coming from and release it, you can feel the joy of life even bigger too, So like getting to that's why they say, like the only way to out is through and walking through it is just the things that it opens up is amazing. Like if you're feeling like you are not getting the relationships you want or the jobs you want, or the friendships or the life or whatever, like this is the path because it's figuring out the whys, like why not, Like what's blocking me?

Yeah, me too. This is where I get nerdy and I like get so excited because I'm just to me. The reason to do all of this stuff isn't to go into the deep trenches and suffer through therapy. It's to open up all of these places into our awareness so that the world gets bigger and brighter and better and like more vivacious. And just like if you can feel the pain of things and actually figure out where that is coming from and release it, you can feel the joy of life even bigger too, So like getting to that's why they say, like the only way to out is through and walking through it is just the things that it opens up is amazing. Like if you're feeling like you are not getting the relationships you want or the jobs you want, or the friendships or the life or whatever, like this is the path because it's figuring out the whys, like why not, Like what's blocking me?

You know? Mm hmm. Other than listening to podcasts or you know, reading self help books, how would you suggest that you know, if there are people like me that yeah, don't recognize their triggers or don't think that they have any like, are there any tips that you would have, like as somebody who has done a lot of work in that space, Yeah, Like how do you even look for them?

You know? Mm hmm. Other than listening to podcasts or you know, reading self help books, how would you suggest that you know, if there are people like me that yeah, don't recognize their triggers or don't think that they have any like, are there any tips that you would have, like as somebody who has done a lot of work in that space, Yeah, Like how do you even look for them?

Well, two things come to mind. I mean we talked a little bit about this on the podcast too, because we did our whole about what we think is wrong with talk therapy in the talk therapy world right now, because to me, there's so much more than just like the way I've seen it done with a lot of therapists. I was lucky enough to get a very good therapist who I credit a lot of times. I'll say like she saved my life because she not only sat and we talked through things, but it was an experiential therapy typesetting where it was actually like getting into the bodywork of what I was feeling and expressing that and releasing it in a much more holistic way. And also like looking at the backstory, like what I have been shocked and very upset about seeing and a lot of my friends is that they go to these therapists who I can't even believe this is legal, Like I just can't understand when people's mental health is at play. I think it's such a high cost, Like it's the stakes are so high, you know, And like I just feel like it's scary to me that there's a lot of therapists out there who are just going in and going through the motions of being what you know, they learned a therapist was in school. And if you don't have that heart connected passion about that job, I think it's very dangerous. I really do. And I think that if you feel like it stops with she was saying something like, you know, you have those certain therapists who it's obviously therapists need boundaries, but if you're in the middle of a deep process and they go up, time is up. See you next week, Like it's so taking just taking the humanness out of how deep those connections really need to be is very scary to me too. And just making it very like so methodical is very dangerous, like all of it. Like, I just think there needs to be a lot of adjustments. But I would say, like finding a really good therapist and that might take a couple tries, you know, like finding a really good person who's going to help direct you into the modalities that might work for you, whether it's energy work or like doing a intensive like a therapy in te doing somatic therapy where it's a lot about what you're holding in your body and what happens to your body, like that really works well with a lot of people who have done gone through things like rape or physical actual trauma, you know. Like, but I've done a lot of somatic therapy from some of the stuff that I've gone through, and it was crazy to see what my body was holding. That was just, I don't know, it was very, very wild. I also think it's really important to be doing the work with someone else and someone that you trust in some capacity, because as much as we can read stuff and listen to podcasts or whatever and we can connect with it, you're still in the silo of your own head, you know what I mean. Like, whether it's twelve step work and you're working with a sponsor or you have a really good therapist or a coach that's trusted at the coach world. Gets me a little nervous too, because I've had some bad experiences there, like make sure you know people's qualifications. I always think it's really good to talk to someone who has worked with someone else. So like if you see someone that's been on a journey that you're like, wow, they have changed, they've grown, Like what are they doing? Like asking people like what helped you? Where did you go, what program did you do? Whatever it was, because there, unfortunately are a lot of people out there, especially now with Instagram and stuff, like everyone seems like they're a coach. So I think it's a little bit like we just need to use our user you wits, you know, because these are very serious things and you're subconscious, like all the things that are driving you, Like those things are serious, they really are. And as you uncover things, you want to have someone walking with you that knows how to like really go on that deep journey of whatever comes up, because you could be very emotional. Oh I know what I was gonna say. I always think it's really sweet when you talk about you as a kid and how sensitive you are, Like I love that so much. And I think the one thing that I would really try to keep in mind, and I would say this to listeners too, is like your brain was only trying to keep you safe and help you survive, and it still is, you know, Like that's the thing about even feeling like shame about not knowing things, Like our brain is always going to do the thing that it knows how to do to make us feel safe or to make us feel like it's okay. And this is how we survive. And your survival skills are deep and they're good. They kept you alive. Maybe they're just not working or serving you as well anymore. Right, And so as you start to like go through some of these processes, like you'll just recognize them more. But it always helps me to go, not shame myself, but go, oh my brain, God, it's such a strong tool. It's really trying to keep me safe right now, Like it's really trying to help me survive. And I'm okay, Like I'm safe. I don't need it necessarily to do that for me, Like I don't need to pick up the old coping mechanism of stuff my feelings. I can feel my feelings now, right. That always helps me just having that's the part of the self compassion, you know, Yeah, I.

Well, two things come to mind. I mean we talked a little bit about this on the podcast too, because we did our whole about what we think is wrong with talk therapy in the talk therapy world right now, because to me, there's so much more than just like the way I've seen it done with a lot of therapists. I was lucky enough to get a very good therapist who I credit a lot of times. I'll say like she saved my life because she not only sat and we talked through things, but it was an experiential therapy typesetting where it was actually like getting into the bodywork of what I was feeling and expressing that and releasing it in a much more holistic way. And also like looking at the backstory, like what I have been shocked and very upset about seeing and a lot of my friends is that they go to these therapists who I can't even believe this is legal, Like I just can't understand when people's mental health is at play. I think it's such a high cost, Like it's the stakes are so high, you know, And like I just feel like it's scary to me that there's a lot of therapists out there who are just going in and going through the motions of being what you know, they learned a therapist was in school. And if you don't have that heart connected passion about that job, I think it's very dangerous. I really do. And I think that if you feel like it stops with she was saying something like, you know, you have those certain therapists who it's obviously therapists need boundaries, but if you're in the middle of a deep process and they go up, time is up. See you next week, Like it's so taking just taking the humanness out of how deep those connections really need to be is very scary to me too. And just making it very like so methodical is very dangerous, like all of it. Like, I just think there needs to be a lot of adjustments. But I would say, like finding a really good therapist and that might take a couple tries, you know, like finding a really good person who's going to help direct you into the modalities that might work for you, whether it's energy work or like doing a intensive like a therapy in te doing somatic therapy where it's a lot about what you're holding in your body and what happens to your body, like that really works well with a lot of people who have done gone through things like rape or physical actual trauma, you know. Like, but I've done a lot of somatic therapy from some of the stuff that I've gone through, and it was crazy to see what my body was holding. That was just, I don't know, it was very, very wild. I also think it's really important to be doing the work with someone else and someone that you trust in some capacity, because as much as we can read stuff and listen to podcasts or whatever and we can connect with it, you're still in the silo of your own head, you know what I mean. Like, whether it's twelve step work and you're working with a sponsor or you have a really good therapist or a coach that's trusted at the coach world. Gets me a little nervous too, because I've had some bad experiences there, like make sure you know people's qualifications. I always think it's really good to talk to someone who has worked with someone else. So like if you see someone that's been on a journey that you're like, wow, they have changed, they've grown, Like what are they doing? Like asking people like what helped you? Where did you go, what program did you do? Whatever it was, because there, unfortunately are a lot of people out there, especially now with Instagram and stuff, like everyone seems like they're a coach. So I think it's a little bit like we just need to use our user you wits, you know, because these are very serious things and you're subconscious, like all the things that are driving you, Like those things are serious, they really are. And as you uncover things, you want to have someone walking with you that knows how to like really go on that deep journey of whatever comes up, because you could be very emotional. Oh I know what I was gonna say. I always think it's really sweet when you talk about you as a kid and how sensitive you are, Like I love that so much. And I think the one thing that I would really try to keep in mind, and I would say this to listeners too, is like your brain was only trying to keep you safe and help you survive, and it still is, you know, Like that's the thing about even feeling like shame about not knowing things, Like our brain is always going to do the thing that it knows how to do to make us feel safe or to make us feel like it's okay. And this is how we survive. And your survival skills are deep and they're good. They kept you alive. Maybe they're just not working or serving you as well anymore. Right, And so as you start to like go through some of these processes, like you'll just recognize them more. But it always helps me to go, not shame myself, but go, oh my brain, God, it's such a strong tool. It's really trying to keep me safe right now, Like it's really trying to help me survive. And I'm okay, Like I'm safe. I don't need it necessarily to do that for me, Like I don't need to pick up the old coping mechanism of stuff my feelings. I can feel my feelings now, right. That always helps me just having that's the part of the self compassion, you know, Yeah, I.

Mean I definitely can see the through line for that sensitive little kid. I mean, I still have a lot of those qualities.

Mean I definitely can see the through line for that sensitive little kid. I mean, I still have a lot of those qualities.

Of course you do. You're a Pisces moon up, but I.

Of course you do. You're a Pisces moon up, but I.

Am a seven, so I've got you know, to seven pushes that down a little bit.

Am a seven, so I've got you know, to seven pushes that down a little bit.

Well, that's what we were talking about before the podcast, And I would love if any listeners have thoughts on this, or if you're an enneagram expert. I have a couple of those. I need to reach out to them about this. I am so curious about what part of enneagram is nature and what part is nurture, Like what part were we born with? And then what part did we learn by adapting to our lifestyle like in our childhood and all of that. If for me, it feels like it has to be both with Enneagram stuff because you are so sensitive, you're wiring would be made to be sensitive, and to the fact that you were told old like or it wasn't okay or safe to have feelings in your household and you had to learn the stuff that's a learned behavior, you know. So I don't know, it's just like fascinating to me because you obviously your kids self before you learn what's right or wrong in your house right you're just being. You're just being, and you were sensitive, you were crying, and you were all the things, and your dad was probably like, yo, we don't do that. And then the older you got, the more ingrained it got because you were realizing you were gay and all of those things, and so you're like, okay, suppress, suppress, supress, oppress.

Well, that's what we were talking about before the podcast, And I would love if any listeners have thoughts on this, or if you're an enneagram expert. I have a couple of those. I need to reach out to them about this. I am so curious about what part of enneagram is nature and what part is nurture, Like what part were we born with? And then what part did we learn by adapting to our lifestyle like in our childhood and all of that. If for me, it feels like it has to be both with Enneagram stuff because you are so sensitive, you're wiring would be made to be sensitive, and to the fact that you were told old like or it wasn't okay or safe to have feelings in your household and you had to learn the stuff that's a learned behavior, you know. So I don't know, it's just like fascinating to me because you obviously your kids self before you learn what's right or wrong in your house right you're just being. You're just being, and you were sensitive, you were crying, and you were all the things, and your dad was probably like, yo, we don't do that. And then the older you got, the more ingrained it got because you were realizing you were gay and all of those things, and so you're like, okay, suppress, suppress, supress, oppress.

Well and two, I think you know, it's there's plenty of like examples out there of like how kids don't see different yeah, until a certain age, until they're taught it, you know. And we've seen, like I've seen a really cute stories about like kids of different races that don't even realize that their skin color is different, like it's just another kid to them. But there was there's definitely something like when I think back to when I started to feel like I was the one who was different, where some of this stuff probably came up, you know in me. Yeah, So like I think that's, you know, going back to the like not wanting to show up alone. Is if a whole room turns and looks at you and it's just you walking in the door, like that's enough to make someone feel like they're people and judged and are different, you know. So it's funny too because it's such a dichotomy because I am a very big personality. Like when I walk into the room, I'm more likely to be like times exactly, and I draw attention to myself, right, it's a it's a I mean, I think that's a protective thing too, you know.

Well and two, I think you know, it's there's plenty of like examples out there of like how kids don't see different yeah, until a certain age, until they're taught it, you know. And we've seen, like I've seen a really cute stories about like kids of different races that don't even realize that their skin color is different, like it's just another kid to them. But there was there's definitely something like when I think back to when I started to feel like I was the one who was different, where some of this stuff probably came up, you know in me. Yeah, So like I think that's, you know, going back to the like not wanting to show up alone. Is if a whole room turns and looks at you and it's just you walking in the door, like that's enough to make someone feel like they're people and judged and are different, you know. So it's funny too because it's such a dichotomy because I am a very big personality. Like when I walk into the room, I'm more likely to be like times exactly, and I draw attention to myself, right, it's a it's a I mean, I think that's a protective thing too, you know.

Do you see why I was so shocked when you said that, Like, but I think that's such a cool thing that you even got that awareness. But then you're willing to share that with other people, Like that to me is so beautiful that that is it. That's what this whole life is about to me, is us learning about ourselves and being vulnerable enough to express it to other people and like have that connection. What is this without that?

Do you see why I was so shocked when you said that, Like, but I think that's such a cool thing that you even got that awareness. But then you're willing to share that with other people, Like that to me is so beautiful that that is it. That's what this whole life is about to me, is us learning about ourselves and being vulnerable enough to express it to other people and like have that connection. What is this without that?

You know? Like well, I mean even the fact that like the why of so many things, like why am I even here doing this? You know, how did this end up being something that I'm even doing And the fact that I listened and a light bulb went off? Yes, you know.

You know? Like well, I mean even the fact that like the why of so many things, like why am I even here doing this? You know, how did this end up being something that I'm even doing And the fact that I listened and a light bulb went off? Yes, you know.

It's no mistake.

It's no mistake.

Yeah, there's no mistake. Yeah, it's I'm on a path. Yeah, And I mean it's interesting because yeah, there is the shame of feeling like I'm behind, and why haven't I been doing thinking about these things? And do I not feel my emotions? Like all those questions that come up when you read a list or hear a list and you're like, wait, I'm not doing any other show. I'll talk to myself. But the fact that like that happened and it gives me the opportunity to be like, oh, that was an aha moment. Now I can sort of turn the page on not doing it and try to be con about it and recognize emotions and triggers when they come up. Then it feels a little wooo, but it's also exciting to like, it's not so scary now that I've seen it.

Yeah, there's no mistake. Yeah, it's I'm on a path. Yeah, And I mean it's interesting because yeah, there is the shame of feeling like I'm behind, and why haven't I been doing thinking about these things? And do I not feel my emotions? Like all those questions that come up when you read a list or hear a list and you're like, wait, I'm not doing any other show. I'll talk to myself. But the fact that like that happened and it gives me the opportunity to be like, oh, that was an aha moment. Now I can sort of turn the page on not doing it and try to be con about it and recognize emotions and triggers when they come up. Then it feels a little wooo, but it's also exciting to like, it's not so scary now that I've seen it.

Yeah. Well, And the thing about the timing is always crazy because I do this to myself, Like my narrative will sometimes be about work or something like I'll feel like, oh, I should have had this figured out by now I'm forty two, and then I'll compare myself to other forty two year olds who I deem more successful or whatever, you know, like we all have our own stories we tell ourselves. But the thing I've been saying lately that's really helped me is like with the different journeys thing. It's like, if you really think about it, everyone really is on their different journey in the way of like some people will be way ahead of me and work, but that's because they only focused on work, and I had some hold ups or I had some changes, and I really dove into this, Like I hate the word healing journey now because it's so over us, like triggers, but whatever where you want to call it. I went on this deep dive with that and I spent a lot of time, energy, money, all of it in that. And because of that, now I'm in a place where my relationships are reaping the benefits of that, and I'm able to like have conversations like this with my friends, Like how fucking cool that we're talking about shit that I wouldn't have even known to talk about had I not done that stuff, you know what I mean? That makes me so happy. Then there's other people who have had kids and then they're on a different phase and they're forty two as well, but they've lived this whole life of parenting that they've learned all this stuff in that way that I wouldn't know or they but they or they wouldn't know the stuff that I know, because they've been so focused on their parenting and then they're getting to this place where they're like, well, who the fuck am I I know how to be a parent, but you know, so it's like, it's just kind of silly that we do that, but we all do it, and it's I think it's the natural thing as a human to compare yourself to others, when in reality, the coolest piece is that we can sit and help each other with the things that we've been focused on, right and really kind of work in a more communal way of like, oh, wait, I know about that. Here, I'll tell you about that, but will you tell me about this, you know, because I don't know a lot about that. Like, I just like that idea of us resourcing each other a little better than we have in the past and not feeling so like individualized that the whole thing has to be figured out, because, like I said, I really don't think we ever get there, like the order I get. I just think this whole journey is kind of this piece of this where it's just this constant learning of different things and unraveling of other things and letting go of a certain thing. I don't know, does any of that make sense?

Yeah. Well, And the thing about the timing is always crazy because I do this to myself, Like my narrative will sometimes be about work or something like I'll feel like, oh, I should have had this figured out by now I'm forty two, and then I'll compare myself to other forty two year olds who I deem more successful or whatever, you know, like we all have our own stories we tell ourselves. But the thing I've been saying lately that's really helped me is like with the different journeys thing. It's like, if you really think about it, everyone really is on their different journey in the way of like some people will be way ahead of me and work, but that's because they only focused on work, and I had some hold ups or I had some changes, and I really dove into this, Like I hate the word healing journey now because it's so over us, like triggers, but whatever where you want to call it. I went on this deep dive with that and I spent a lot of time, energy, money, all of it in that. And because of that, now I'm in a place where my relationships are reaping the benefits of that, and I'm able to like have conversations like this with my friends, Like how fucking cool that we're talking about shit that I wouldn't have even known to talk about had I not done that stuff, you know what I mean? That makes me so happy. Then there's other people who have had kids and then they're on a different phase and they're forty two as well, but they've lived this whole life of parenting that they've learned all this stuff in that way that I wouldn't know or they but they or they wouldn't know the stuff that I know, because they've been so focused on their parenting and then they're getting to this place where they're like, well, who the fuck am I I know how to be a parent, but you know, so it's like, it's just kind of silly that we do that, but we all do it, and it's I think it's the natural thing as a human to compare yourself to others, when in reality, the coolest piece is that we can sit and help each other with the things that we've been focused on, right and really kind of work in a more communal way of like, oh, wait, I know about that. Here, I'll tell you about that, but will you tell me about this, you know, because I don't know a lot about that. Like, I just like that idea of us resourcing each other a little better than we have in the past and not feeling so like individualized that the whole thing has to be figured out, because, like I said, I really don't think we ever get there, like the order I get. I just think this whole journey is kind of this piece of this where it's just this constant learning of different things and unraveling of other things and letting go of a certain thing. I don't know, does any of that make sense?

Yeah, I mean I also think there's there is some like the comparison thing, Like there's that obviously that famous quota. I think it was FDR that said comparison is a thief of joy. But I also think when you are comparing, if it's coming from a place of curiosity and.

Yeah, I mean I also think there's there is some like the comparison thing, Like there's that obviously that famous quota. I think it was FDR that said comparison is a thief of joy. But I also think when you are comparing, if it's coming from a place of curiosity and.

Not just jealousy, that's a good point.

Not just jealousy, that's a good point.

Then it's it's actually a healthy thing because if it leads you to learn something new about yourself, about the world, about others, or you know, whatever, then it's the comparison is like there's a benefit to that. Yeah, if you're doing it just to like shame yourself and have negative conversation and tell yourself that you're not or look for examples of why you're not worthy, yeah, then it's unhealthy.

Then it's it's actually a healthy thing because if it leads you to learn something new about yourself, about the world, about others, or you know, whatever, then it's the comparison is like there's a benefit to that. Yeah, if you're doing it just to like shame yourself and have negative conversation and tell yourself that you're not or look for examples of why you're not worthy, yeah, then it's unhealthy.

You know, that is a trigger.

You know, that is a trigger.

That's a trigger that was triggering Kelly.

That's a trigger that was triggering Kelly.

I know. I'm sorry to me to go on your healing journey.

I know. I'm sorry to me to go on your healing journey.

Yeah o god.

Yeah o god.

Yeah, well anyway, I mean I feel.

Yeah, well anyway, I mean I feel.

I don't feel so behind.

I don't feel so behind.

Right now, which is you're not that's the thing. Yeah, it's just exciting it that you're even thinking about it at all, you know, Like I think that's amazing and beautiful and exciting, and who knows what you'll uncover?

Right now, which is you're not that's the thing. Yeah, it's just exciting it that you're even thinking about it at all, you know, Like I think that's amazing and beautiful and exciting, and who knows what you'll uncover?

Right, like where that's the scary part to me, is it? The I mean I often like I know I should probably be doing more talk therapy, even if it's not perfect, But yeah, it's I think that's probably a scary thing for a lot of people, Like what what are you going to uncover that you're not going to be able to cope with or like you're not going to have the skills to cope with?

Right, like where that's the scary part to me, is it? The I mean I often like I know I should probably be doing more talk therapy, even if it's not perfect, But yeah, it's I think that's probably a scary thing for a lot of people, Like what what are you going to uncover that you're not going to be able to cope with or like you're not going to have the skills to cope with?

Yeah, But that's the thing, is it's the thing first of all. The funniest part to me always is you can say, what are you going to uncover? Well, it's already fucking driving the bus anyway. You just don't know it right now, right, So you might as well sit and like kind of figure that out or talk through it and see what comes up, because then it's at least in your awareness, like at least and.

Yeah, But that's the thing, is it's the thing first of all. The funniest part to me always is you can say, what are you going to uncover? Well, it's already fucking driving the bus anyway. You just don't know it right now, right, So you might as well sit and like kind of figure that out or talk through it and see what comes up, because then it's at least in your awareness, like at least and.

You've already survived it once.

You've already survived it once.

Yeah, and you're not alone. That's the thing. That's why I always am saying I think it's important to have a facilitator or a mentor a therapist or whatever at the beginning stages or that can be really helpful because you have to figure it out. You don't have to like go on this journey and get it all right. You have someone who's saying, like, hey, what about over here or what about like looking into this and kind of guiding you, or when something comes up, saying oh, well you know what that is, or pointing out the progress even that it can come up because it feels safe enough to come up, Like how amazing is that? Yeah? But yeah, like it's just interesting to me that we've we run and we hide and I've done it too, Like we don't want to address these things. Meanwhile, they're the things making us do all the fucking things we're doing. We just don't realize it. So they're the ones putting us in those relationships that aren't working. They're the ones making us pick the people we pick. When it becomes or it comes into your awareness like what happened to you today, then it's fucking ready to be healed. It's ready, Like it's just like hey, here I am, and now you're gonna feel totally differently probably even from talking about that and having that in your awareness, and you can move different.

Yeah, and you're not alone. That's the thing. That's why I always am saying I think it's important to have a facilitator or a mentor a therapist or whatever at the beginning stages or that can be really helpful because you have to figure it out. You don't have to like go on this journey and get it all right. You have someone who's saying, like, hey, what about over here or what about like looking into this and kind of guiding you, or when something comes up, saying oh, well you know what that is, or pointing out the progress even that it can come up because it feels safe enough to come up, Like how amazing is that? Yeah? But yeah, like it's just interesting to me that we've we run and we hide and I've done it too, Like we don't want to address these things. Meanwhile, they're the things making us do all the fucking things we're doing. We just don't realize it. So they're the ones putting us in those relationships that aren't working. They're the ones making us pick the people we pick. When it becomes or it comes into your awareness like what happened to you today, then it's fucking ready to be healed. It's ready, Like it's just like hey, here I am, and now you're gonna feel totally differently probably even from talking about that and having that in your awareness, and you can move different.

Right, Yeah, I'm just gonna start going out but myself all the time.

Right, Yeah, I'm just gonna start going out but myself all the time.

Now, it's so funny to me that that's the thing, but it's really it's not that thing, because I do think you right, it's not enjoy you still like activities. It's the feeling you're associating with it of the unworthiness or the but that's the trigger and that's the thing to like look at. So maybe yeah, like releasing that, So that is what is.

Now, it's so funny to me that that's the thing, but it's really it's not that thing, because I do think you right, it's not enjoy you still like activities. It's the feeling you're associating with it of the unworthiness or the but that's the trigger and that's the thing to like look at. So maybe yeah, like releasing that, So that is what is.

Being triggered by the event of having to walk in by myself exactly. It's fun to learn. I mean it.

Being triggered by the event of having to walk in by myself exactly. It's fun to learn. I mean it.

I don't know if you really mean that or if you feel.

I don't know if you really mean that or if you feel.

Like it's like no, no, I mean it's I love a little light bulb moment like that.

Like it's like no, no, I mean it's I love a little light bulb moment like that.

Yeah, that chipped.

Yeah, that chipped.

Out to me and I'm like, I like recognized it in the moment while listening to it.

Out to me and I'm like, I like recognized it in the moment while listening to it.

Yeah it could. Yeah, Well, if any of this is resonating, I know, Like it's interesting because our Friday episodes have kind of we talk about the Wednesday, but it's kind of become this cool unpacking session with each other, which I know We've gotten some feedback from some of the listeners. They're really liking that. If you are loving it or hating it, or whatever, let us know. I mean, tell what's working for you. But also like if you're really resonating with what Chip said or what I said, like where are you in your journeys? I'm just curious with people. You can always email us at the Edge at velvet edge dot com. You can slide into my DMS. I'm at Velvet's Edge, Chip.

Yeah it could. Yeah, Well, if any of this is resonating, I know, Like it's interesting because our Friday episodes have kind of we talk about the Wednesday, but it's kind of become this cool unpacking session with each other, which I know We've gotten some feedback from some of the listeners. They're really liking that. If you are loving it or hating it, or whatever, let us know. I mean, tell what's working for you. But also like if you're really resonating with what Chip said or what I said, like where are you in your journeys? I'm just curious with people. You can always email us at the Edge at velvet edge dot com. You can slide into my DMS. I'm at Velvet's Edge, Chip.

I'm at Chip Doors. It's c H I P D O R S c H.

I'm at Chip Doors. It's c H I P D O R S c H.

And if you guys feel what Chip feels, go DMHM because I feel like I love doing that, but also like there's nothing better to me than feeling connected with others who are feeling the same thing like I just that is the whole reason I want to do this podcast. So slide into our DMS. Let's talk, let's chat it up. That's why we're doing this. We want to talk to you guys and continue to go on our journeys too. So as you guys go into the weekend and you're living on the edge, I hope you always remember too. Bye. I'll say bye now again sause you love us so much.

And if you guys feel what Chip feels, go DMHM because I feel like I love doing that, but also like there's nothing better to me than feeling connected with others who are feeling the same thing like I just that is the whole reason I want to do this podcast. So slide into our DMS. Let's talk, let's chat it up. That's why we're doing this. We want to talk to you guys and continue to go on our journeys too. So as you guys go into the weekend and you're living on the edge, I hope you always remember too. Bye. I'll say bye now again sause you love us so much.

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