Live From Long Beach!
Today, this is what's important:
C walking, dirty talk, diarrhea, gambling, nervous breakdowns, road rage, rollerblading, prison escapes, poli-charged topics, Q&A, and more.
Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically crucially important today.
On This Is Important, it was technically road rage. I was standing on the road and I was raging.
I want to know what part of beetlejuice he was squashing them titties too.
Bitch, you have diarrhea.
You can be proud of your body, even if it's kind of falling off the bone.
Strap in whoa, wow, long Beach? What up?
We're in Long Beach?
We got a freaking.
Oh my god, he's really good at Is that really good?
That was good to me that that was a great seawalk bro sea walking out it get here.
Look, it's like again, how do you do? You doing it too? Oh? You guys are really go. I'm more like this speed dude. Oh shit, that's fuego. I mean, admittedly, I don't want you to die.
I don't want that for you, but that would be the one of the funniest ways to go. It's an actual crip is here at the show and he's like, not today, motherfucker. Right right, that's one step too far. You don't take my dance.
He wishes he didn't have to. He's like the code. He's like, I am a fan, but it is the code. He goes through his phone to like read the code again. He's like, no, it's right there. I gotta in the rule book. I have to do it.
I have to say I'm not affiliated.
Trust me.
I know it looks official.
Neutrom neutron.
Dude, I'm did you guys not sit in your room and try to learn how to seawalk as kids?
Dude? I yes, dude.
Was sea walking even around when our kids? I feel like that was some new ship.
I'm gonna do laundry. Seawalking is been around.
Yeah, seawalk has been around since like ninety two.
I feel like it's been around since the dawn of time.
Thank you, thank you. Yes, But do you remember they like on Adam and Eve.
Adam and Eve.
Yeah, he could walk. Yeah, he'd be strutt she had that walk. It's hot. A lot of people, this is cool.
We got a big crowd here.
H yeah, thank you. The house. We've seen these people.
What up Long Beach. We got a big crowd here. A lot of people that are new to the podcast. I have not listened to the podcast before and you're you were brought by your boyfriend or girlfriend right, and you're like, I guess I'll show up.
This is what it is, Yeah, except we don't get the dance seawalk rules for about an hour. I can't do that. There's no way I tried.
It's getting worse.
Yeah, I feel like it's like cotton Eyed Joe more than it's turning into river dance.
Like, I feel like it would be really hard to be like.
Leaning towards ginger because I'm not a full ginger. I don't claim ginger.
Strawberry right, you claim strawberry.
It would be it would hard to be a ginger gang bank.
Yeah.
But anytime I ever hear like, it's usually girls. I'm working on my posture. Dude, my hips hurt when I lean back, I'm falling apart. Well, your pets are looking good, though.
Anytime a girl says you have strawberry blonde hair, that means they want to fuck you, Blake, whoa.
Wow, you think strawberry? Can you say strawberry?
You don't put the little panache of the strawberry because that's the sexiest fruit afrodisiac. You could say watermelon hair. Watermelon is delicious, not sexy.
Dude, you're a watermelon blonde? Are you a watermel on blonde? Wait?
Well that's a huge debate, because sometimes huge when you get and I'm gonna rock the boat here, you get watermelon candy.
Sometimes it's green, it's not always red.
Got here, Hey, but hey that's my time. Oh I was you gotta go this way? That way is just the baths.
Actually know that that works for me? Oh really that works for me? Oh fuck no, no, it's come on back. But what about a lot of times? I think apples more classically green than watermelon. So I'm just gonna poke holes in your theory right there.
Okay, yeah, fair enough. There are green and red apples.
And then and then dirty blonde, dirty blonde. But I don't think dirty dirty is a put down. Dirty is like what if a guy would say and he'd be like, it's just it's not blonde, it's not brown.
Some dirty ass ship.
About nobody some spin in there, like about his rival quarterback. I'm always judging people on whether they want to fuck Blake or not. Well, dirty still, I think I think you're describing his hair.
But dirty, dirty blonde, I want a dirty blonde. Well what because.
You think, because then you think dishwater, You think and you're like, what about buck us sink of dirty?
If somebody says like, talk dirty to me like you're thinking about dishes, is that what's happening?
Oh yeah, honest Kyle, that is where the saying comes from, obviously from dishes.
Dirty talk dirty to me.
Back in the fifties when women were only allowed to wash dishes, and I didn't like.
That, Well, that's the side of the fence they're gonna you're gonna be on.
The husband would come up while she was washing the dishes and be like, talk dirty to me.
Oh, because she's dirty washing dishes.
Keep going well, And then but then it would and then he would just stay keep going, Oh, ship, keep going. And then he would say that whole soap jar of dawn and shove it up my ass.
Oh that's what they were doing in the fifties, the old soap jar, brought to you by.
The soap jar of dawn.
Dude, you know about the nineteen fifties, Yes, jars soap was jarred in.
It was jarred, It was barely barred.
You are so dumb.
It hadn't been.
Bored work the soundboard because you need to hit a few We.
Didn't rehearse this. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, man, dumb ass.
Do you have any Long Beach specific drops for us today?
Beach specific?
I think I just have Doctor Dre saying Long beachla.
Okay right lol beach And you know it's funny driving in today. You know what I noticed that beach so long Long Beach. I was like, this checks out that freaking beach.
Dude.
I do love Long Beach.
It is like the place where just being from the Midwest, if you said, like you spent the afternoon in Long Beach, immediately your friend's like, oh ship, m hey, Adam's a bad boy now, I bet he can see walk?
Dude?
What was that? Was that an impression of me seawalking?
Yeah? I don't know that part of Long Beach? What was that? Yeah? What what is that part? Are you revving up? Is that? What's going on? Well? I thought, like to get back to seawalking.
No, it's okay, this whole thing is just gonna love back to sea walking.
I thought that though I saw perhaps a YouTube.
Video or something when I was when I was trying to learn the dance that they were like spelling out ex hamster.
I've seen that video.
Yeah, I heard they were like spelling out the word crip or something.
So it was kind of like you're going.
Like, oh, is the jump like going the eye.
The dot for the Yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yes, point.
Oh yeah, I got some points. I'll give myself some points.
What happens. Wow, So some of you have listened to the podcast, Thank you. Yeah, that's good.
See I I nation.
I mean, it is funny what you're saying about, like the date that gets brought out here tonight, like as soon as Kermit, who we I can't believe we have.
I can't believe Kermit when he says dya and you're supposed to say Ria. The date is just like can we go? Can we leave? Please? Can we go?
Now?
We'll go to Ruth's Christs which calip your pizza kitchen within a baseball throw from here, within a seawalk distance.
Away, an I do of a c We can seawalk the entire way.
You can hop skip in a sea walk away, come on down.
I love that diarrhea gets an applause break.
That is what is so cool about going on this tour as we literally.
This is what's so cool.
Yeah, you can drop diarrhea, diarrhea.
Listen, everybody. Wow, I've never seen more people passionate about diarrhea.
Usually you're kind of like, man, this.
Is Adam Devine. So and I've seen people passionate about things. Oh yeah, I love passion. I love diarrhea.
We're gonna get a huge, a huge ride up in Like, I don't what's a newspaper like the Herald, the Herald, Chronic Okay.
Another points, yes, but what are some other newspapers?
Oh, A B A B High Time, the Sacramento Be, Yeah, Sacramento Bee.
We got one, we got one.
I like to think there's gonna be a huge headline where it says like this is important live has people across the nation embracing their diarrhea.
Right, And actually, that's a beautiful segue to why we're actually here tonight.
Thank you. We want to talk about the wet Brownstone.
Die is a problem affecting almost all of us constantly.
Well that was the thing that we we talked about we were in Chicago. If you last week last weekend, no one knows.
No one knows anymore.
And we're in Chicago and we were like, everybody has diarrhea and people are.
Like, no, right, yeah, and they were like and We're like, bitch, you have diarrhea. It's weird.
It's when somebody like says they've never had diarrhea.
I can't trust another word that comes out like.
I think that should be when you are like interviewing someone for a job or like something important, like maybe you're on a first date or something, which is yeah, that's a good which is what it's like to date me. It's like a first job interview, just looking at you. Haven't get that in like, is are you you have diarrhea?
And if they say never, you say hit the road no yeah, because they're lying. There's nobody that has actually never had diarrhea.
I feel like you don't even know, Like when you were three or four, I'm sure you had squirts when you were like that.
Little great point Kyle, Yeah, well say Kyle, I didn't even think about that till now.
But there's probably these people who say they didn't have it probably just don't remember because it was before their.
Brain was you brought it out. I feel like, and this is why we took the podcast on the road. Well in deep, isn't your first ship? Got to get the word out, no.
Turnout, no no, no, no point.
Well, we raised the lights in Chicago and people were like, uh, we're like, raise your hand if you've ever had diarrhea.
And people were like, I can't believe.
Of course, I don't know.
It's the first date, but the date.
And then you see other people and we took photos of of the crowd, right, and I've uh investigated all of their faces.
Yeah, yeah, you see, yeah, they're really doing his detective word of this fucking guy here.
It's and it's very funny to just see like some people that are like like, for sure they have diarrhea right now, but let's can we flip this?
Can we flip this?
What if there was somebody who has really not had diarrhea, but they're like a joiner, so they're like, oh.
For sure. The way it just like you poop, well it comes out rock hard. Yeah. Oh somebody who's trying to be cool like we stuff.
Oh yeah, no, like we're like just right.
At first, it like feels pretty good and then it like it like heats up.
All crazy and then it it like tingles and pops the sizzles.
My favorite part of what we all know is diary sizzling diarrhea.
Either you have diarrhea or you don't. Yeah, that's the truth.
Moving on, have you guys noticed young men doing all the sports scambling that's happening sports gambling? Sports gambling is like the new lifestyle for everybody under.
Oh really, what is?
No?
I haven't just like the apps andosecond it's fucking weird. So wow.
Well, I you know, I haven't done a lot of it, but I do want to be the face of it. Oh if they're willing to pay me any amount of money, yeah, yes, or I.
Will sell out for that. Are you a gambler? Are you a gamble man? No?
Not really? I mean, now you go.
Bets. I don't like to place bets. I like to gamble, though I don't know anything about it. I like to gamble on like Adam and I sometimes have bet sometimes in the past. I like to bet on like whose shoes smells the stink is? Yeah, and you know that's fucking crazy. Yeah that's wild.
Yeah, like fun bets like who could do the most pull ups?
I do feel like it's just a window and how off the charts this tour has been so far, Adam.
But you realize, like whose shoes are the stinkiest? Like that's objective, Like there's no way to know.
It's not if you don't know. You just picked wanting to be anybody? Even though you just pick one, are you putting it? Are putting the crowd?
You just picked one nice woman from the crowd and you bring her up here and she's shoes and then she decides which one's the seeker.
Yeah, but that's still that's still subjective. Relax, ladies, it's a subjectivetical, it's subjective, but it's subjective that one person is the desire, right.
You have a control in the experiment, But it's still a subjective all Why do you think it's objective because the subject's perspective, right, Isn't that what that is?
Is it subjective or objective?
Objective? Epective? You just said three totally different words, and I admittedly don't know all of them.
Subjective is when its subjective and I'm probably gonna get this fucking wrong, but subjective is when it's my opinion. Objective is when it's like, alway, everybody you can't deny it is that, right, that's that's going up to my grandfathers, who are scientists, My grandfathers, who are scientists.
As for your objectives, yeah, that's that seems pretty objective to me. Well yeah, me talking to my grandpa, that was subjective. Yes, you're thinking, did you want to explain the grandpa bit to people? Including me? What's up? Who were you talking to? Just now?
I was talking to my dead grandpa, my dead scientist grandpa.
All right?
But I also know, I mean my friend Chelsea, who I think is here. She's a scientist, okay, and also she's dumb as shit. She you know, she's.
Well science. Yeah, she's very smart, but also wow, like what what are you pointing at? My fucking like?
I wouldn't trust her sense of smell over anyone else's No.
That's why the smell thing is a subjective experiment.
And now I agree with you.
See walk it out? Okay, hold on see yeah yeah r.
I whoa yeah dude, Secuitamn.
That actually turned into that in sync dance.
I feel I'm sweating.
Yeah, yeah, you hit the bye bye bye right?
That was my favorite dance when they go because it's like the only one you can do while sitting. So when I was like in my wheelchair, I could be like, yeah, and me too.
Uh he's doing it again.
Somebody give that kid a beer. You could bye watch me wheel off this room. I'm still gonna be my friend. I have diarrhea too.
But would you let kids ride around on the back of you while like, if you were in a wheelchair, you were giving rides?
Like people are just like, all right, go ahead.
That wasn't it wasn't electric. There was no like, there wasn't a car back there for them to sit on.
Come electric or come original? Wait wait, you were giving rides. I didn't give a lot of rides.
There's a lot of like people wanted to, uh take me to class because we got to leave like five minutes early.
Yeah, right right, And when you're when you're in.
Middle school, that's fucking elite level ship.
Oh yeah, when you get the five minutes of free time, all these pencils we can throw into the roof on our way. I can't walk, but who fucking can't, dude, I can't walk.
I hate walking.
Mom puts my pants on, but guess what. My toe fell off in the bathtub while I was jerking off once it's important, but I get to be five minutes early. Yeah, wor's it? Life's crazy? So you brought it up? Are you like a big sports better? What's going on? Are we about to are you about to admit something to us?
I never gamble. I own my house. No one's coming after me or my family.
We uh no.
I just feel like it's a weird. It's a whole weird thing. Now they've opened the flood gates.
Well, see this is why I mean, this is why I kind of wish it wasn't legal, because I you know, I love weed. Sure, yeah, bro give it up for weed. Everybody whoa give it up for motherfucking maritis.
This is called pandering.
I love.
Dude. But admittedly, when it became uh.
Admittedly, admittedly, when it became legal, a lot of the fun was taken out of it, right, because remember how fun it used to be when you were a young and and you're smoking.
Weed and you see cops. You're like, oh, ship, see we're lucky. Though.
We can still we can we remember that we can still pretend we can get out there and pretend you see cops.
I'm like, could you dude, I don't.
And they're like, I smoke weeds too, dude, It's fine. That's how I feel about like gambling. Now it's so prevalent. I'm like, well, now I don't even want to gamble.
I don't know.
I used to want to, like lose my house.
I kind of like the idea of adults who are allowed to smoke weed, who pretend when cops drive by that it's.
Really still really illegal. So it's like you're just.
Grown men at a wedding, you know, having a jay freaking close your eyes.
Imagine, let's let Blake take you on a we got a spotlight all arm wrestling.
I'm a real storyteller, y'all. Get ready, because.
I've already said it at a wedding, so for the cops to.
Come, it's already fucking it's weird.
It's a policeman getting married.
Yes, yes, it's a policeman's.
Scariest woman twist.
It was okay, let him, let him, let him tell his story.
So you're in a circle, you know, you're smoking weed with your boys. One of the groom's friends who's a cop, walks up full uniform for some reason, because well.
He doesn't own a tuxedo.
Yeah, yeah, the only is this nice enough to wear it fits it has or just the whole story.
That's your uniform, full swap gear.
But sure he pulls up to the circle and everybody's like, oh shit, oh shit, scadaddle bro, scadaddle bro.
That's the best part of the story. I must start.
They know him, but it's just part of the booze. You pretend because you really want Weed to have that cachet again.
You guys can open your eyes. Now, open your eyes. Now, you can open your eyes.
Blake, I'll admit it. That story fucking sucked, dude.
It was a long walk for like really no fucking payoff.
Bern Dude, I fucking forgot to tell you guys today I got hit by a car.
Wait, well we are, we are.
We're finding on this on this podcast tour that we're like talking way more than we've talked in years.
And it's great. Don't touch me, okay, And I forgot the rule I forgot.
We're like finding that we're like talking so much that when we come on stage, we're like, save it for the podcast.
You got to save some juicy morsels for the podcast. So what yeah, so you were hit by a car car today? It wasn't like I got ran over because I'm here. Yeah, they got that well so far.
I don't think we've made up stories to bring on the podcast, but yeah, go ahead, Blake.
And also, you know I'm terrible at making up stories.
Yeah, so, so I was hit by a car? What kinds hot air balloon car? Wait, you were in your car or you were like you were justdphones.
I was jogging.
I was jogging in my neighborhood and okay, did.
You have your headphones in?
Uh?
I did have ye, you're not paying attention. Raycons.
Those raycons. Check out raycons. They're pretty good.
Raycons are good. They're good. They're good. Yeah.
So we landed today from Phoenix, right, Phoenix, Phoenix last night. I actually to have that on the board, right, and the drop goes, yeah, that's Bill, that's Bill. And I decided that when I landed that I was gonna run because we have to run. Rinch Chicago just eating pizza. I Facebuck Buzzballs every night.
So and he does, and that's stopped for you guys. He saves that for the hotel room afterwards, just for us. Little camera I get to film.
All that do not release that to do.
I decided to go on a little jog in my neighborhood.
So I was kind of coming up to like stop signs and it's like a four way stop, and I was jogging and I saw that a woman was coming coming along and I saw her out of the corner of my eye and I noticed that she was kind of like slowing her role.
And you were like, I could slide right over this hood.
No, I was like, like she was. She was at the stop sign. So I'm like, oh, she's gonna stop. She didn't, so I had to do a.
Like that and so wait, you like down to here, and then I kind of slid down I was, And then it was kind of like this moment.
Where what kind of car?
What kind of car?
It was a like a white super Route, so.
Low low hood. So you did like, did you did it scoop you up at all? Did you sit on the hood?
What?
No?
I like, it couldn't roll down the hood.
So you say you did roll down? You did slide down the hood? Yeah? I did a.
I did a I did a full hood slot and landing on my feet. And then it was kind of like what happened? Well, the thing is is that I'm kind of new to the neighborhood.
Right you gotta play, you don't You don't want to sue right away?
Yeah, you don't wanna. You don't want to really be the digits.
Well, I don't know if this is my neighbor because initially you're fucking pissed and.
I wanted to be like what the fuck?
You stove it bad?
And she's like, oh my god, you're near to the neighborhood, Blake welcome.
Or she just she just has one of those videos for me from Instagram where it's just the dudes like hitting their cell phone against the window being like you.
Open up, get out of your car. I'm gonna kick your fucking ass, right, and then you walk away into the poll and you're like even more angry. It's a very specific video. Those are my favorite type of videos because uh, I feel like I've been that person. Oh yeah, Well, what's wild is when they see the camera, it's like they doubled down. They're like, fucking now, did you see.
The one the other day the guy that's golf that was golfing, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, where he's.
Just like there he is, he's here, that fucking psychopath. It was just like he took his shirt off. But here's the thing I will say. He kind of gave me hope because I was like, yeah, you.
Can be proud of your body. Yeah, even if it's kind of falling off the bone.
Yeah. And what did he say?
He kept saying, I've been.
To heaven right. Yeah, he did have some really good lines. People have lives. Tod's fired.
The guy who took his shirt off, he had like huge movies. He wouldn't even really built.
Yeah, the guy, well they had. He had the angles right though, the way he was moving and the way he like. He had the angles. As a guy who recently got kind of fat. Stop speaking for me. You gotta work. It's a huge you gotta.
It's not my boobs.
It is my belly. My boobs are fine. It's not your it's not your ass. It's not your butt. It's not my ass.
No.
In fact, since I've stopped cycling, it has gone out of my ass and it's creaked around the front all in one minute.
Just come up here. Oh you so you gotta work the the angles, That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, yeah, exactly, and he knew exactly how to Like you saw him doing his ship with his like body like that, and it's like, oh, now he looks good and he knows that, right.
And that's a classic bodybuilding, right.
You know.
That's like, I know, I look sick right now. I don't know, intimidating, like what are you flexing?
Huh?
What is what are you flexing? Muscles? Motherfucker? What else do your flex points? Yes? Yes, punts? Damn, I just did this. I'd never do that. I just did this after that one. And I've been that guy before though, I've been that. I mean I think I told I might have said this on the podcast, uh, but I'll tell it again.
Uh.
No, I I was.
I forget what I was doing. I was having a totally normal day and I dropped and this guy just like was honking at me, and I fucking flipped and I get out of my car and I'm like, you want to go. Fuck, that's scary, that's objectively scary. That is objectively scar I got out of my car and I flexed every part of my body. Yes.
Uh.
And then this guy got out of his car, which I did na see coming right right, Because when I moved, my entire life because I've always been a little smaller.
Was just out psycho people smart. It's it's a really And then everyone's like, I don't want to get into all this. This guys a fucking little wolverine. I'm gonna have to deal with. Yeah, the badger, king little honey badger. And this guy gets out of his car and he's like six '.
Four, really in shape, and he just goes, beautiful, get back in your car, your pants, dude, And.
I go, yeah, goodbye, goodbye, dude. And I get back in my car and we drive and we're going the same direction and.
I'm like fuck and we pull up next to each other and he pulls up and uh, I have a convertible. My convertible top was down like a fucking asshole, and uh he pulls up and I go, you have no idea what kind of day I've been having. I was having a normal day.
I was going. I think my errands that day were to get a car wash and drink Starbucks.
What you're saying is not What you're saying is not untrue. He has no idea what kind of day you've had? Yeah, you do not know me screamed that at him.
I'm still like fuming that he was able to punk me back into my car, and then he goes, hey, man, you just gotta chill out. Oh my god, I'm a fan, which hurt my feelings so bad. Dude. See, but he could have said anything else, but it's like I'm a fan. I was like, oh Jesus Christ, what about I'm not a fan? Oh yeah, and that would have I would have been like, good see. But that's the kind of video that needs to get leaked. We can learn a lot from that. You know, he's here, all the people are here, Adam, this is your lie. How flights up? Really? Keep him? Keep him down, keep him down.
Have you guys ever had like a nervous breakdown?
Well, that was my thing.
I actually I handled it. I don't know if I handled it well. I definitely fused this situation because.
Well, you didn't punch that woman, so I would consider that really good. He didn't finish the story. No, I didn't punch the woman.
I just kind of like, I like, was like I didn't.
I didn't want to be mad, so like all I because someone was like I was just like dude.
You said that. Did she hit you again? Just to be like, I think I can keep hitting this guy?
She got highway, she got out, She's like are you all right? Are you okay?
And I was just kind of like, just like, try not to do that again.
And I started to feel bad because she was so apologetic. I was just like by it started to turn where it was like, no, actually, I think it.
Was my fault.
I'm like, I should have like I got jumped over the car, or I got the raycon and you know what, I shouldn't even be exercising right, take better care of my body and just sort of relax.
It was really surreal because when things like that happened, like the song that was playing in my ear was just straight.
Up like Michael McDonald.
I was like, I was like, just got hit.
By a car, and I'm like, and so now when you hear that song, I'm gonna just go into a blind rage.
That should be your workout song from now on. You're just like dead lifting eight hundred pounds right face the fear.
I feel like that that works. That works really well.
Hey man, I feel good about that.
Yeah, good for you. We did not lose it. They weren't. Nobody was filming or nothing.
Now I'm gonna walk around the neighborhood and they're gonna be like, there's the fucking bitch right there.
Hey, you have the car, feel you fucking bitch.
You can hit that guy? You can, yeah, you can. Whenever you feel like clipping a man with your car. That's the guy the long hair clown.
Again.
Hey daddy, there's the clown and it's it's.
Just you running past their house like hair just like.
His hair goes because he's running so fast, right right, right, hang on, hang on ready, it's oh yeah, sarpet it we're doing.
It's tough with the carpet, but I think we still picked it up.
Have you guys had any road rage or psychopathic d well Durs is probably the scariest. He's like I've killed a cat or something insane. It was like, you guys have choked out a squirrel before, right.
Because.
Then you gotta like wash the car after the pictures you take like, uh, yeah, I had a road rage. One this wasn't even a road rage. And my wife's here and she was like, oh my god when this happened. But there's a narrow street, and it was like trash day. So the trash uh like canisters are.
Out right, yeah, okay, okay, shut.
Guys are arm wrestling and it's narrow, and I'm like, okay, all.
The trash bands are on my side or his side, so he should just pull over so I can go straight through here. And then he came through on my side and I'm like, well you're on my side now, yea on my side, and we didn't really have anywhere to go.
I had the whole day ahead of me.
He looked like he was in a hurry, and I was like, park, oh shit, and just sat there and she was just like, don't be this person.
It's a standoff.
She almost was gonna get out, and I'm like, you can't get out because then we lose. And then someone else pulls out to be like, are you guys gonna move?
And I'm like, you tell him.
Become a professional sign language person. You're like, you know, and then eventually he backed up.
Oh yeah, like a bitch. Wow. The assholes women say, my life must be sad. Assholes one for cars one wholes.
You you have some deep seated rage, I do. I was actually thinking about this and I'm like, you know what, not sober. But when I remember like drunkenly going down San Vicente Boulevard.
Nice yeah and car No, I was on foot, but I was.
I was walking opposite traffic in a lane trying to hit cars. Yeah, like trying to swing at them when they were coming towards me. Do you know that you were you there or do not put me at the scene of the crime. You know, were you there when I Actually I.
Was like, yeah, I planted some homemade bomb devices in uh limited people. I was drunk, I was throg.
So you were these cars were moving or these were parked cars.
The cars were moving, and I was like they would coming, like just flex on them. I know that. I remember.
I have these memories that are you the guy in Beverly who wore the roller skates and just would dance in front of the mirror.
I thought you were going to say, you like fought yourself in the mirror or something. No, No, it was it was a road.
It was technically road rage. I was standing on the road and I was raging, you know what I mean. So that's like kind of what I was thinking about.
Wow, But it wasn't see what I like about your rage because usually my rages to one person specific.
Oh gave me the tiniest light, not even that big of a deal.
Like a honk, And I'm like, right, it's man versus man, Yes, yours is you versus all of society. You just like a mom taking her kids to soccer practice and you're just like, not this caravan, big oil.
Yeah, it's like it's me versus the world. Dude, That's what it was. I like it. Ye, Hey, what happened to the beer? I thought there was gonna be like a little cooler of beer beer, Isaac, you want to grie out something?
I drank a whole here, ladies and gentleman, everybody, your man, give it the fuck up.
Isaac said he's gonna take off his shirt if he has to come out here one more time. So yeah, yeah, yes, lucky ducky. Can you guys open beer cans? What do you mean? I like, bite off my You probably have this too, because I bite off my fingernails.
Nobody point at me and say I don't nails.
I got good ones, and it's a lot of liked. Dude, what he can't open the can? Open the can? He's actually struggling. What I like to do is I hold conversations while I do it for like a long time.
I'm like, yeah, no, for sure, and like that's the dow Jones is I know it's all fucked.
Ude talks about that dow Jones.
Dude, I don't even know what the fuck that means.
It's the Nasdak. It's like that, that's the other one. Oh, I got it.
Yes, I'm giving points for him opening a can.
Yeah. Points are cheap tonight.
They're easy. They come easy over here.
Uh, thank you, daddy.
I like DRS has a little support group for you not being able to open a can. The little little crew over there was like, he can do it.
Yeah, I believe.
I go to places where people like I get ziplocks and I just can't open them. In the sandwich, I can see it inside. It's trapped.
I don't know. The girls are wearing Cowby boots. The guys are arm wrestling. Uh so have you guys also been hit by cars? Or is it just me and Blake that are holding this down? They t bones? I got t bone and spun, but the Volvo saved my life.
Way to go, dude, Way to go. Volvo, give it up Swedish engineering. Whoa, Yeah, have you ever been hit by a car personally?
Yeah? Like my body? What are you? I don't think so no, except maybe like for no, what do you mean I personally? I mean like you don't think so?
Well?
Look, I said personally like my body. Bro like me said his car got hit. So I was like, personally like my body. Does that make sense?
You know? Does that make sense to you?
Now? You know?
I take it back, but we being legal, it should it should definitely be legal. Dude. Yeah.
Uh have you been hit by a cement many times? I'd literally been in so many accidents. Yeah, my body three times?
Wait three times? You've been hit three times personally? Personally.
I was reversed into once and that wasn't that big of a deal. But I did scrape up my arms and then I was hit by a car.
While on my bike. Didn't fall off my bike, dude, s ship it was elite level.
Ways some X game ship.
Dude.
I was by the beach and a car pulled out and there was sand there and he clipped me and I had my headphones in.
Uh okay, see this is also Michael McDonald.
Yeah, the headphones while on bikes is and out there in the world. It's obviously dangerous, yeah, but also live dangerously.
Never gonna sleep, never gonna die, never get sick. I'll tell you why. Shit, don't phaze me, and then I get hit. I fucking slid in the sand, dude, it hits me, and then I go, like like six ft I just.
Like an avenger, Yes, exactly, like an avenger.
Avenger, dude, Avenger and Avenger, Avenger, Avenger.
That feels like one of those moments in a movie where like just an electric guitar would go, I.
Think that's the this guy rollerblading movie Airborne that.
You just who bro That movie is so fucking good. That's the anytime they jump off, they're on.
They're all on rollerblades, and anytime they jump off like four stairs, it's like, now this that movie.
Jack Black's in that movie, right, and Seth Green is in that movie too, probably, and they go they take the devil's backbone at the end of that movie, like they have to.
Do it, telling the whole movie like, well, I get it confused.
Sometimes with another rollerblading movie. I guess I don't know, but that's it, right, Yeah, yeah, that movie fucking kicks ass. I love that movie.
Yeah yeah, hey uh we all rollerbladed right? Oh yeah, so will you explain to me? Look at us, we're obviously a rollerblading crew.
I feel like, well, durs has roller blades. I do, and that's fucking sick. I want to get No, bro, did I roll their blade? So it was just us? Yeah, I don't think.
What I'm getting to is that, like I remember obviously getting around town jumping off a few stairs, but then when you would see people going downstairs, they did it like this backwards like this, Oh like that.
I thought they did it like that. What don't I know about like that being easier than just I don't know, man, And this is you got this is kind of for us. Yeah, well dude, that's not easier. That's just more bad ass. But it was the way that people did it.
I've never seen anybody go downstairs and roller blades forward.
No, you end up doing the like the hopkunk like you're like doing that. You can't ride down the stairs if you're going forwards but back. We're just we just need ten more.
Mans because you stick your it's because you can stick your ass out backwards, show us. It's because you can show us, show us, because you can do like even when you bend, it's still just flat.
Oh am, I am I out of shape? Yeah, and I was never.
Good at rollerblading.
Mostly I just did it because I couldn't physically skateboard, right, yeah, that was when most rollerbladers got into rollerblading.
It's because they couldn't skateboard.
Well, we're such freaking California kids.
Long Beach, what up? No, Me and Blake, just me and Blake.
We played roller hockey, which in Airborne there's a sick roller hockey scene.
Dude, there is roller hockey hoker scene. Wait, can you not say roller hockey? He couldn't. Just there, he was like roller fuck, what is it? Hockey? There's a roller hockey scene in every movie for five years, in your favorite and the rest decade. The nineties, I do love me some nineties.
I got into uh I, I got into skate Uh soap shoes for a minute.
Oh, soaps were and that was exclame. What that is, dude? It was just some regular basic ass airwalks or some ship and they were soaps. They were their own brand. They were something. But then they had, uh, like some soap like sex wax right here. It was plastics.
Was it jarred soap from the fifties?
It might have been charred soap. Then you just would grind on ship.
Yeah.
It was like when freestyle walking was like off the fucking charts, dude, it was.
Verree style walking was free style walk.
But these soaps they had, they did they had a piece of plastic right here, and you could do grinds.
You could do soul grinds, you could do like the cross grinds. You could do all that shit, you know what.
Though, to be fair, I remember when like the EMPTV, True Life or whatever the fuck it was came out where the dude was like, I'm a freestyle walker, and it was like, well, no, you're just like not including yourself and Jim class and you're over there doing that thing.
Yeah.
But but okay, yeah, yes, I could not have foreseen where it's gone. The trajectory parkour and that kid started it. I know, ye right, that's right, that's a birth Well I do, and so do Stirs. We're talking about it, Okay.
We're talking about okay, ahead, ahead, like I mean stop, that is wild.
That freestyle walking basically is the beginning of parkour. I never thought about that till right now.
Or is gymnastics, Like what what do you mean?
Well, dude, but gymnastics they don't teach you.
You're ruining it, dude.
They don't teach you to run up a wall, like when two walls are really close. That's not in the Olympics gymnastics next to the rings. They just have a tiny, little oscular person.
Sure, Honestly, I honestly, I think parkour could be an Olympic sports. I think that cat escape from the jail, who was just like this up the walls. Oh, I saw that ship, So what I'm talking about. I saw that human being. It was a human being. You said, cat.
Yeah, that threw me for a loop. I'm like, we're putting cats.
And why was he in jail? We should the prison circle back?
They should? I mean, should we allow them to have pets. Should we allow prisoners prisoners pets?
You're sucking your dog again? We totally should. That's exactly right.
They would be fucking that cat all the time.
Oh, you disgusting dog. What did you say to me? What did you say to me?
I think it's not worth actually a cat, but hoole, or is the cat vagina that is barbed penis?
So sorry? Where's our sign?
Is everyone?
Where?
Ship is he talking about? What's he talking about?
He's talking about cats, buttole being barbed apparently a ca a cat's penis is barbed barb uh.
Yeah, it's not a small woman. Well, like it's got a hook, like it has a like a fishing hook. Guys, this is like a penis hook.
A lot of animals have hooked penises like wolves have.
It sounds like you have, right, guy. It's actually pretty cool. It feels great.
I believe it's in an evolutionary trait to wear when the animal in the wild who cares puts.
Its dick in in like science, yeah, mating, mating.
Mating, and then it like latches in so like I don't know, like animals don't like fucking.
This dude escaped jail, going up the walls of like a fucking that was epic.
He was just gone, dude, like that was the coolest thing I've ever seen in real life. Maybe I agree. I was blown away. Watched it like four or five times.
Was I thought it was so he was so casual before he was just kind of like, well, his dude was just kind of watching like, yeah, nobody's here.
And then he goes also like, because you're in prison, how are you training your body to be able to do that?
That's all you're doing?
Yeah, but to be able doing those pushouts where you like, you know, like bliometrics, but they're like they're like oh here, he goes, okay, just wait no, but for real, for what I want.
Is Blake Treddy.
Wait wait ship, this is about wow and that Blake rebroke his back my l three. Should we do a few minutes of these right here?
What are those right there? What are those there? We're trying to be more poly charge.
And we're gonna down to brass tacks yea, and we're trying to be more topical.
So here are some topical polycharge topics.
Okay, okay, you got you.
You want to hit it sort of this straight out the second it will be.
There.
You go, oh that was cool, it's cool. Thank you?
Did you guys know that all this is a funny one all we haven't seen these All those NFTs are like fucking worthless now, dude.
See that's why that's why we haven't done the butthole yet. That's why we haven't done the butthole.
It's not worth it because you would bring the like value back, we would change the entire Well.
Actually I stand corrected. Maybe now is the time to do the butthole.
Because because our butty we had talked about on the podcast previously that we want to do an NFT but it's our butthole collective.
So it's one fourth of each of our butthole and so you don't know who's You don't know whose buttholes who's but you're.
Gonna know, you'll fig you can figure it out. Maybe, yeah, you could totally figure it out. Although you know it'd be cool. Remember those like olds, well maybe they do them again.
But the baseball cards were like, if you like, twist it like this, it goes like from batting to like all the way through all of our buttholes, and it just kind of like morphs as you turn.
I thought you were gonna say, spitball. I don't really like that idea. There's it quivers, your butthole quivers.
See I'm not really big into gambling, but I'm ready to invest all my money in this butthole I know right now.
It's honestly not surprising to me that these NFTs lost their value.
That's like, well, dude, by the way, we said that's topical. This is not like, as of this morning, NFTs are worthless.
Uh yeah, I didn't put this list together, that's true. Who did? That's just it was just out here.
Wait, this isn't on the list, I don't think. But we thought we were gonna cover it before, and we didn't. The Bobert Chick.
Oh, the Beetlejuice, the Beetlejuice, the Beetlejuice. How can you do that when you're watching Beetlejuice? Why aren't aren't you? How are you not locked on that fucking stage? But she was, She was like with what what what are you guys talking about beetlejuice? If you don't know, you're not paying attention we're talking about that.
Uh, Senator, I think she is she like jerked off her homie.
Yeah, but is that is that real? She did do that or is hit gotten in place? She was at Beetlejuice. It's very funny. She keeps vaping a ton, which is tight.
Uh.
Well, she's disrespectful to the stage. I know she does.
I know that the news keeps running it as if it's like a bad thing. It makes me think she's kind of cool.
But I don't know.
Man, she's at Beetlejuice cool, she's vaping cooler.
Yeah, she's honking d I. Yeah, she's honking di I, which is the thing that we saying.
She's like really getting her like boob squashed on.
That's the funniest part because obviously we all we all love our wive's breasts, we do, obviously.
Yeah, but.
I've never been out at a concert or a theater performance and I've just been.
Like, yeah, but that Tony's doing, he's like watching the show, and he's like.
At least he's watching the stage.
At least he's watching the show. Yeah, I don't want to know what.
I want to know what part of Beetlejuice he was squashing them titties too.
Yeah, it's when they all become like the nice fucking model. We're being judpental. But like, I dare any of you guys to make it through Beetlejuice up to that point without honking.
What's the what's the song at the end that she like floats up.
It's like, uh, yeah, did you say banana song? But how does it go? Is it jump in the line?
No?
No, wait, how does it go? Wait? How does the Gary Belafonte?
How does.
Bana what? Hey?
Wait?
What did she say? What did she just say? How do you do it? Worth doing it? She just said, help me, I've been kidnapped. She's like banana song, and I'm like, do you know it? And she's like, uh huh it's Harry Bela Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I I really do not know what I should know this Banaha? What I think you have it? I think it's.
This?
Is it jumping line?
Is that it? No?
Imagine you're in a theater?
Am I right? I'm getting thumbs ups? Is jump in the line? Well? Anyway, I guess that is for sure.
When he was squashing boobs, yeah, there we go.
Everybody squawhed, squats your loves right now, everybody whip out.
Their vaves and squat.
It's called jumping the line.
I don't know the line.
Yeah, we all think it was called the banana saw.
Was taking out. I don't even know what they say.
I don't know if we all thought she was just so confident, right, yeah, he's so confident.
He made me think I was not right. That's like the bunch. He says, bunch, it's called.
Poke in the line jump.
But when doesn't say what, I can't. I don't have that.
I don't, I don't know. We can't listen to the whole song just for legal.
Now we're off the rails.
But I will say I do understand because watching live plays, like I remember being in high school and we would go for drama class. We would go on field trips to plays and then fucking ship went down during those.
Dude, Well, Shakespeare Festival was Shakespeare, dude, Shakespeare Festival up in Ashland. We were squashing boobs.
Nice dude.
I also was a drama kid, and uh, I was also squashing boobs.
You squash boobs to that point.
On the swim team, we would shower together and speedos and ship shave each other.
And that's the difference between us.
Dog.
You can start at the peanuts.
All I'm saying, dude, is I have very fond memories of Sweeney Todd live bro.
Oh yeah, hey hey, dog, I was in that play with you, Sweeny Todd and the Giant Rat of Samatra Orange Coast Community College.
The year was two thousand and two. Sweeney Todd and the Giant Rat of Sumatra.
No, no, that was Sherlock Holmes, but nice swing at him, and I'm gonna let you live with no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no no no, it's not Todd. Is the demon Barbara fleet Street whatever?
Yeah, dude, I could have sworn I've been saying it's Sweeney Todd and the Giant Rat of Samatra.
Definitely not that sure Block homes.
Dude.
I was in that fucking play, dude, and you didn't know what it's fucking called.
I don't know what to tell you.
Yeah, that's what.
An o sc degree will get you, though, Wow.
I am a pirate.
Sell Yeah, I didn't get a degree, all right, you got an honorary degree.
You got an honorary dude. They put Blake and I in the Hall of Fame, Yeah they did. Yeah, a couple of years back. They put us in the Hall of Fame and uh. And then I told the president. I was like, ah, this is crazy because I didn't even graduate, and he goes, shut the fuck up.
Yeah, do not ever say that he went shut up, bucket.
The funniest part about the NFT of being worthless is all the people that spent I mean, how pumped are you if you just like had a design of like an ape who's kind of bored wearing a dumb hat, dude, and then you made like a hundred of them and sold them for like three million dollars each. It's so wild, Like, see, that's why we could have all retired off of our bottle NFT if we would have gotten in early.
See, but that's kind of our thing. We're late to stuff, So that's why we should do it now.
We're definitely two thousand and laid on that one.
Every every topic we're about to talk about is going to lead to like a business initiative for us totally.
You guys have about those legos so toys a business decision that will never get around.
You know. It's just funny because Isaac's technically in charge and that guy's wearing his shirt right now, So come on out here without a shirt on, Isaac, Let's see it. Come on, buddy, you got a lot of hometown crowd. Just give us some people want to see Isaac come down, Like, let's see those all right, get out here, Come on, man, Come on, dude, Isaac, just come out. You don't need to show your tits. Just come out and take a bow. People want to see you, Isaac. I don't want to go. Come on out at least bro don't leave them hanging O.
God, yeah.
He did it, he did it. See it.
I have my fucking back to him.
I want to see a snipp.
What if I really threw a fit like.
That'll be later in Wait, will you do another this is important sting?
Oh sure yeah?
Wait.
So singles might contain a choking hazard. Well this is a dumb one, because uh, I mean you deserve to die.
What does the craft singles come wrapped in its own little thing and kids are just eating it with the like cellophane on it? Right?
Well that that happens though.
I mean, if you're hungry, you know, and you're just scarfing, you're ready to scarf.
I feel like when you're a kid, there's some shit you like just eat with rappers just cuz that's what I'm like.
Do you remember fucking Smarties? I used to just eat the whole roll up.
Wait? Really, I remember putting it in my mouth and then like going like and then pulling it out.
Oh no, I just use it just like eat it with the plastic like a bar.
So then what did you do? You swallowed the plastic?
No, you just chew it for a little bit and then you kind of all right, well.
Well I would do I would do that with TUTSI rolls. Yeah, I would eat the TUTSI roll pop like the sucker, and then I would chew the stick.
Oh yeah, but.
That's that's like Okay, I'm still starving and didn't get a lunch or something, right, but like this is eating the rapper.
Yeah, but do you know how thin the rapper? It's not like a rapper. It's just like a clear piece of plastic. It's very hard to tell that it's on there.
Well, I feel like if you choke on a Craft single and you die from that, you can't you lose exactly.
That's good. It is like the perfect murderer.
If you kill somebody, just shove a Craft single down their mouth and leave the crime scene like like like a moth and sounds of the lambs kind of thing.
Yeah, So did I say that out loud? So Kraft is getting sued? Is that what's happening? I don't know it says six customers have reported experiencing these issues.
Well six six, Well here's the first.
Yeah, six's well, there's like six total fucking moron kids out there who are like, right, they all get brought to like the meeting where they're like, so you guys are suing us, and they're like, yeah, you two right, it's crazy, like because it's you can't tell, right, I mean, that's gonna change it.
Hop that none of them are children. They're all just like stoner twenty three year olds.
Like fist bumping dude, you can't fucking tell.
Right, Yeah, So like give us your money, sure you're under oath.
Yeah, how old are these kids? If they're seventeen, I like that. That's cool. Six seventeen year olds.
But this is enough to change it. They'll definitely put some prints on the plastic. Now gone are the days of clear plastic? What'd you say gone? Or the days gone? Or the days the clear plastic craft.
The good old days when you used to have to know whether you could choke on something or not.
You used to have to just swallow it, you used to have to chew it all. Here's the thing with it.
Oh sorry, man, here you go.
But yeah, Budweiser, I didn't know they're doing this shit. Budweiser won't cut off the tails of its famous Clydesdale horses.
Wait, that seems like yeah, me neither. Yeah, do you know what they were cutting the tails off of them? Yeah? What what? Why do you cut off the tail of a clod? I mean, it just says you've never done this, you don't know.
It's it's just like cutting off the rottweiler's tail in their knees or their at their ear the ears and.
Docking the tails. Are we talking dogs? I'm talking dogs? Yeah, because you know how Roddy's they cut them.
And then it's like they they don't crop rottweiler ears, really, they do Doberan's.
Doberman's, That's what I'm talking about. Then they doped the tail the rotwiler though.
And the thing about Rottwiler's they weighed about seventy five to eighty five pounds, they're about twenty four inches at the winders.
Shut out, bitch, shut up, bitch, dude, he knows this. He knows about dogs. The guy knows the Q and as.
Oh yeah, sure.
Sure, Isaac in a butt light please and no pants. You guys asked some questions. We need to bring Isaac back out here. Waacaacackaack Isaac. Dude, Isaac, I don't drink, Isaac. I don't drink. I haven't drank for ten years. Oops are huge. Okay, so we're doing this. We're doing a little Q and a's.
You guys got hot hot cues and we got some steaming hot. A's name Domo, some person named Domo. Have you ever pissed in the sink with a girl.
In the house. Yes, I'm married. Yes, well if somebody's my wife, yeah for sure. They're not looking. But that's the reason you're pissing in the sink is because they're using the weight. So you're arching your dick up and we don't have to. Don't have that, dude, I'm sink. Go down into the sink. Yeah, it's super chill. I wait, so you're at your house, your sinks come up to hear on a standard. Look, that's just that's your counter. So my sinks are this because this is my sinks are this tall? Maybe tips? Maybe tips? Maybe you're up like this? All right, but it's chill. Why why don't you do it's a.
True privilege to be able to like to do Like when I'm doing it, I'm like, not everyone can do this.
I know this is cool. It is cool. I guess I've never even do that. Like, why wait, you've never ever thought about peing in the sink? Well why would you? I mean, you got to like do your dishes there, not in the kitchen. No, I'm talking kitchen. I've pissed in the kitchen, talking about talking dirty?
Baby was talking about pissing in the kitchen sink. Yeah, Oh you're fucking crazy. No, no, baby, I'm throwing the chicken. It'll be ready a bit.
Don't care the chickens. Yeah, I'm hooking you up. Dude, I'm on the chicken. I don't get at this is Kyle. That's me, Kyle.
Guys.
I like that. Hey, uh, it looks like Louis and Kayley Blake, Blake, this was for you.
Where did the I'm so fucking hungry sound on the board come from?
That is from the movie Slither, I believe.
Oh yeah, now, will you describe the plot of Slither.
I don't think I've ever actually seen the movie. I've just seen that scene and.
It's so fucking weird. It's like alien, some kind of alien worms have invaded and they like enter your body and it makes you like, is a bunch of this?
I don't know.
It's just they go in this barn and they all like shine their flashlights in this lady who is like taking up the entire barn, and she's just like ahead and.
She's just like, oh my god, I'm so fucking hungry.
And I was like, yeah, yeah, that's gotta be on the board. Let's rent that one tonight. I don't know. So Samuel Avila says, this is one. This one's to me. If Tom didn't come back to Blink and Matt Skibo wanted out, who would you choose? And I'm willing to step up to the plate.
Let's go, dude, I could I could sing like Tom Okay.
Let's go okay, all right, let's go singing. All right. This is a generic pop song, pop punk song. Okay. Uh.
There she was standing there with her long blonde hair, scam me.
Look, I didn't care.
And would you know she wasn't wearing underwear, no no, in the summer in the city all the fighters.
That was good foot pull fo fat, not bad.
That was good, Blake, you you give us your best pop punk.
I feel.
Well, you got to talk about your feelings.
You gotta mention like a like, uh a season, like it was fall, right, that's what that's a season, And it seems like it was August.
Yeah, people were walking their dogs.
Nice.
I saw this dog's barbed butthole.
Oh shit, yeah, and it made me think of you.
Let's go.
That was good, all right? Yeah, Kyle, do you want to hit us with one?
Mean?
Yeah, I'm trying not to cry. Yeah, I'm trying not to kill myself. Dude. That's not even.
Dude, that's not even a one that he just made up off the top of his head. That's a song. Blake and I had girlfriends. This is fifteen years ago, maybe long ago. It's like twenty twenty years ago. We had girlfriends that were roommates, so we were roommates. There were roommates, so we were always hanging together.
Blake hated it.
I loved it.
Yeah, And also like, you're going over to her house again tonight because I am. And I'm like, yeah, it's gonna be fun.
He's like, oh fuck, I can't escape this guy. Fuck.
Meanwhile, I'm like ban man, and so we left Kyle home alone a lot, so.
Somebody had to stay at home and watch it, you know, make sure everything is all good.
Yeah, And we came home and he was like, I just made this new track. You guys want to take a listen, And we're like, oh, sure, yeah, let's man, that's cool.
Let's see what you created while we were gone fucking fucking our girlfriend. The bridge is like, I don't want to die. No, I don't want to cry. Wow, dude, yeah, man, I thought it was funny as ship but maybe it was all guys.
Oh yeah, dude, it was funny. It was well, you know, truth in comedy. It's like you, I'm working ship out. Try not to cry. I'm trying not to kill myself.
Bro, that's just the best. Now I'm here, I'm here, right now, I'm here. See, I'm fucking here now.
Durs isn't much of a pop punker, so he wouldn't.
I don't know if you would know how to deliver this, but I would love to hear you try. I guess I is this thing off?
I guess, I would say, And I chimed in with why is this dog's butt home?
Bob? It's ripping my dick off, baby, let's go. So that's so good. It was so good. It was sort of another song that we know. That's what I did.
Yeah, the like, haven't you.
Ever heard of closing goddamn door? This song? But dude, and that was panic at the disco, right dude. I met the Fallout Boy guys.
And after like one of their shows, and I was just like, dude, that song closing the goddamn door.
I love it. Yikes because they hear that all the time for sure, and then they grab their Derby cats and like scattered away.
It's like when people shoutdrs to you on the street and you guys just.
Go, dude.
That happens all the time. People were like dun, I'm like, that's my friend.
And then for me.
Nothing, They're like, I do not recognize that.
Move Can you move? I'm trying to back on my drive back. Can you move? It's science. It's science. Remember if you.
Could have three superpowers, what would it be? Uh, superpowers?
Three? You get? Three is way too many super kind of a fucking question is that three is a lot of superpower? Because you would just pick like, oh, I'll be invisible I'll fucking fly and I'll be super strong.
Yeah, easy, okay, done easy. I would be six three, have a seven inch cock, and I have four million dollars cats.
I would just like not have ever had diarrhea. Yeah, super super times three. Oh I got mine. I'd be able to regularly see my three children. Oh not, try try not to kill myself powerful. Oh he's there.
Who is your most who is your most unexpected famous friend?
And how did that happen? Let's go. What's funny is we're just gonna name our famous friends and they're gonna be.
Like, I do not know that, man, Yeah, I.
Don't know if I have any Yeah, it's you guys. It's the three right, don't like has famous friends, but you have to be like deep in the culture to know who they are.
And the culture with a capital C and and actually a capital E at the end different whoa look, yeah, I don't know.
I mean fucking Matt Matt Berry from Shadows is like I never I never.
Thought I would be like so fucking random.
Well, yeah, that's crazy unexpected. It is like, that's crazy unexpected considering you work on that show that he's on.
But before that, before I got on that show, I didn't really know who Matt Barry was, and everybody else did.
It works.
You don't know people before you know them. Yeah, so it was unexpected okay to say, yeah, is that what you do.
In the saddles? Oh what about what you're just?
But now we're just naming people we work with.
So when I got the job, I was like, yeah, this is expected that I should be his friend because this will be a shitty work environment.
Well, you're right, that's hard. These are like work friends there.
I would pick the Primates lead singer Less Yeah.
Yeah, Less, Yeah, that's cool. Yeah for you. Yeah, he's a bud. He's a Bay Area bud. I love that guy. I remember I.
Go mountain biking quite a bit with Sindbad. You guys don't even know that Sinbad.
Wow.
Yeah, kind of unexpected, but I also very unexpected checks out.
I feel like I could maybe text YG.
I don't know he's talking about the letters. He can say there's two letters, YG, and we're very proud of you. That's so cool, dude.
I met Dave Chappelle one night at the Comedy Seller in New York, and he was like, he was like stoked on me. He was like, oh, my kids love you. They watch all your all your shit. Man, We're having a big Comedians ball this weekend.
Do you have a tuxedo?
And I'm like, I will rent a fucking tuxedo, right, and he goes, here's my number.
Call me.
I'll get you in contact with the girl that's putting the whole thing together. It's gonna be sick. It was naming all the other people that are gonna be there. I'm like, this is crazy, this is gonna be so fun. He did not respond to me.
Oh, man, you left a message? Did you leave a message? Dude? I was so embarrassing. I said him, like three times I left a voicemail. Oh just like dave me again.
You pulled like a cable guy. Like I was in the shower.
I thought I might have heard the phone ring in Chip Douglas. Why does that sound so Billiard?
Chip Douglas, Chip Douglas, Jersey, you got those and those hair plugs?
I feel like I said, sindbad, I'm not buying that. I'll call him right now, Alex Lang. It looks like our peg wants to know what was the Alex is so quiet out there He's like, don't read my fucking question. Oh fuck, don't you fucking read that one? Uh?
What was the funniest hardest Workaholics episode to film? Funniest hartist, hardest, like physically with our penises or what?
The hardest one is probably the one where you were laughing a little harm. Yeah, the funniest hardest. That's a weird combination. The episode where I tore my a c L Was.
That basketball for you? That was hard?
For me?
That was actually hard. We had to finish shooting the episode. So it was the episode where I was.
We were playing like company basketball game, right, and Leslie.
Jones was in the episode. Yeah, yeah, And I went.
To grab a basketball and I turned and my knee just exploded.
And and that was that was nobody new for a second, like for a while, if you were joking or not, because you were doing your scream and you were like ah, and we're.
Like, oh, divine, he's doing it again the third time. My comedy scream is also my white hot pain scream. And then I remember like, uh so I go, I go.
I can't have surgery right away, so they like they, you know, put my knee in and embrace and then we had to rewrite the episode so it's like I odd on Mexican steroids and now yes.
Yeah, which.
Which is really funny because you get things like I'm just chilling in the roid lounge and it was just.
Me fucking oxy cottons or whatever the hell they had, and I was like, I'm I feel like.
A pretty tough one was when we did the Ninja Turtle one and we were like down in the sewers.
What was fucking weird?
Is like that sewer set which was built like it was really amazing. Yeah, when you start, when you're in that set that looks so good and they had like fake turds and ship, it fucks with your head so you start to really like smell turns.
You're like, but it was just like wet pumper nickel loaves. Yeah, but I was like, damn, it was like we were a.
Hot box and fucking ship.
It was weird.
Dude started to fuck with my head.
That was hard for me. Also found several dead bodies while shooting the show. Oh actually yeah on the one where was it?
No?
I remember one severals like six to nine, right when we did the one with the Nutting Professor. The nutting Professor was not that one, mister Newleaf. Do you remember that ship? Yeah, we were shooting up in the valley and and somebody did spot a dead body and they had to shut down production.
Right, it was Hella Stam dude.
I remember we were on the car next to this like little bluff and uh. We kept being like, dude, check your shoes. Someone stepped in human ship. Right, there was an odor that is human ship and we're keeping like, it's not me, it must be that, and then we're blaming like crew guys are like, dude, I don't think he wore the odorant, right, this guy is foul. And then later on we found out that there was like a dead body like seven feet away yonder.
It was just yonder. Actually, it was just yonder. It was pretty close. Do you have the hardest episode?
Yeah, there was one episode where I had to race, like a swim race against my nemesis whose name was like Lance Tropie.
Who is now in the Star of Reacher, Star of Reacher Alan Richon. Yeah, and it was so hard for me to swim that slow.
Oh shit, that was fucking dope. Yes, but yo, wow with the pasture, fast pause, fast baby, oh that is that? Was that the college one that you did? That is that the one? Huh? Anyways, so it's at that time. Any take backs, any apologies, any epic slams.
Takebacks, apologies, epic slams, giveaways, candy critiques, We can.
Bring back any take backs any are we are we ashamed of anything we've done or said here today?
Yeah?
I was kind of ashamed with how I played it off like a joke, but I was ashamed with how I was flexing earlier. That was actually a moment that I realized I do not know what it means to be a man. And thanks for experiencing with me, and yeah, yeah, but fun what hey? See you to that point?
Yeah, to that point if I could speak on that and just piggyback speak on it.
Brother, I'm sorry I went after you so hard about that and asked you what you were flexing?
Dude? Thank you, But but I do want to thank you for torching me.
Yo.
Yes, sometimes I want to get torched.
Your apology ended up being a setup for a torch, and that's what's sick. We can take a negative and spinning writing a positive and keeps like that. Well, then let me give you an epic. You're welcome, epic dude, epic exception, and please don't give each other flowers because I want you guys to keep living.
You're my best friends.
You know it's funny. Today I was a hell of day. We came in this morning from Phoenix, Phoenix. I went to a kid soccer game, then a kid swim meet, and my kid at the swim meet was like, hey, tell my friends what happens when you talk about people on the podcast and give them flowers?
WHOA? And I was like, wait, how old? They're like? And then I'm like, well so, and I start to like step.
It out, perfect age to give someone nightmares for it talks about people they die.
I'm still I was like, I think it's your raise pal.
He's like, Daddy, will you give my teacher flowers?
Hey, Daddy, you see that kid over there, Derek, give him flowers?
Flowers.
I'm raising against today unless baby it gets flowers on the podcast.
So I don't know one knows this, but when we get we used to give flowers, we're like, you know, we need to celebrate people when they're alive. Let's get some people flowers. And then we've done that for like one hundred and something episodes, and so many people have died, dude, like within like a few weeks.
Yes, so many people.
We should take its allegedly.
Yes, I think that I would like to take back all the sea walking.
I did just like real up top.
Wow, he came out idmittedly allegedly and admittedly right away.
Yeah, and with sea Walking, and I was like, he's gonna get murdered.
Yeah, and uh, if anybody out there is affiliated in any way, I just was a Suburbs kid watching some YouTube, but I thought you spill it out and it just wasn't.
I've been really worried about the whole hour.
I would like to Uh.
When I when we were doing the uh the congresswoman in bit and we were saying like the grab your friends kitties and jiggle up, and.
I was thinking, like as I was doing like friends studies, and I was like, oh, this could be assault.
So if I did encourage anyone to sexually assault you, my bad, take it back, and i'd I would like to take that back.
And that is legally binding. I take that back. Okay, that's legally bonded. That's legally bonding and binding all that well, I think we want to get a photo. Can we bring the house lights up? Oh ship, that's the faces. Oh wow this yes and party