"You'll change your mind." "Who's going to take care of you when you're older?" Black women who say they don't want children hear some version of this constantly, and the decision often gets treated as a betrayal of family and community. Today we're joined by licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Lana Holmes to talk about why a personal choice draws so much outside commentary. Dr. Lana and I chatted about the difference between being child free and being childless, how the legacy of chattel slavery and domestic work still shapes what's expected of Black women's bodies, what dating looks like when you know kids aren't part of your plan, and the missing supports (childcare, perinatal care, safety) that have more people questioning whether parenthood is for them. She also shares what being child free has made room for in her own life.

In this episode:

• Why "I don't want kids" gets heard as a personal attack, and how cisheteropatriarchy and misogynoir feed that reaction
• What gets lost when we collapse child free and childless into one category
• The strong Black woman and mammy archetypes, and the expectation that Black women will mother at work and in community whether or not they have children
• Vetting partners while dating, plus a script for telling mom and the aunties
• What to weigh if you're still deciding, starting with your gut response and moving into the support you can count on

About the Podcast

The Therapy for Black Girls Podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed Psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, about all things mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves.

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Where to Find Our Guest

Website: https://www.inclusivetherapywellness.com/lana

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Our Production Team

Executive Producers: Dennison Bradford & Gabrielle Collins

Director of Podcast & Digital Content: Ellice Ellis

Producer: Ndeye Thioubou 

Production Assistant: Bria Mosley