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35. BONUS EPISODE: “Don’t talk about us on the podcast”

Published Jun 28, 2022, 9:34 PM

The girls are back for an episode on love, friendship, first impressions and stereotypes

Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, the podcast where we talk through some of the big life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they mean for our psychology. Okay, hello, Hello, Hello Gemma. This is a third Gemma. This is Gemma. That's the real Gemma, which one I don't know about that? Okay, if you guess, then you are a very good listener of the podcast. I am the real Gemma, but I do have three amazing friends on this episode. Um, would we like to do some introductions for this episode of Girl Talk. I think Aaron should go first. She's the most seasoned podcast eight listener. Bum Yes, Hello, good day, it's Aaron again. Like yesterday, I recorded my last potty also a girl Talk also a girl Talk back again. I was just so good the first time, totally didn't derail the whole episode at all in any way, shape or form. And if you didn't listen to that episode, you should go and listen to it. It's great. It's a great episode. I really loved that episode. I listened to it on my back rind to work. That's very good. So Aaron has been on the podcast twice before most recently on Girl Talk. This is another Girl Talk, another girl's trip, because I, in my mum's word, cant my mum's words, cannot stay away from my camera life and my camera friends. So she had nothing wrong with love your mom. But she's probably right, But I also love you guys, seems so we've got Aaron. We have another guest who has also been on the podcast before. Hello, it's me Umhoebe. How do I introduce myself? Just say one fun fact about you? You know what color? My aura color is? Pink baby baby pinks off pink um. But yes, where I'm here with my friends and a very any neoser, can we say that, Yeah, yeah, we're a newser Maybe we probably should have said that to begin with before we introdew. Maybe we'll introduce our final person, which would be Kate, and then we can talk about what we're all doing here. Kate. Um, my oura color is where I say, your ora color marines, so like light blue for the ocean, because we're on a beach holiday at the ocean we are. And um, Kate was on my second episode ever of the podcast, like about a year ago. So I'm old news. Okay, the news peeps um. So basically, we are all here on a beach holiday. That was Phoebe's idea, and we thought, let's get away from all the cold and dreary, wetness of where we are to live. We need some sunshine. We need some sunshine state not an AD. I don't want to leave now. No, I don't want to leave either. I think I've ruined head. I've only been here for like where it's a forty eight hour trip. Boat riders ride all the boats. We have ridden in at least two boats while we've been here, but like twice on one of them, and on both occasions one of us was drinking. I would like to say I was not drinking and driving on either boat. A little shout out to Heap's Normal Beer. Not an AD, but if you want to sponsor us, Heaps Normal alcoholic three free beer, fantastic delicious. I have been on the alcoholic beer by the name of a Sahi and I know it, and on the wine of the brand Prosecco. Borth about both experiences. So what are we doing on this potty excellent transition? Feeding? Wow? Keep us with three pons. There's four women in this room, all of us have had one glass. All of us have had an except for Phoebe who's on the heaps, normal have had a little glass of wine. And I thought for this incredible episode of Girl Talk, we would answer some of the hey mummy, oh, flex mummy, hey mommy, I don't know why questions with Abby Chapill Yeah. Um. Also, Abby, if you want me to come on your podcast, will totally do it. But we were gonna answer some of the flex mummy questions, the reflex questions, and we did some of these last night at dinner. How was dinner last night? To enjoy it? It was one thing of this trip. We have spent a lot of money. There's nothing that place. I'm not gonna say names. I really like the ambience. Food was good, but it didn't you know, like when you walk away from place, we're like wow, wow, Like that was good food. Yeah, it wasn't, but it wasn't a wow. Yeah. The cocktails were a wow, the cocktails wow. The price, The bill was a wow. The bill was big. I think the cocktail was a fucking wow. The food I think because we walked out and it was just like a very quiet straight we were like, oh, where do we come down? It was it was like a calm down yeah yeah, yeah, I think that was where the wow factor. Also, they kicked us out after like an hour and a half. We couldn't even just like couldn't really chill. Yeah, so don't go to that well named restaurant. Yeah, would we would have like had dessert, Like how don't They didn't even ask if we wanted to. That is, do you reckon? That's why you think the wow it wasn't a wow. Yeah, that's why I feel like for me, that's what it was. Yeah, dessert always is like cherry on. Yeah. Yeah, So we basically had dinner last night. Um our darling Aaron brought these cards that she really likes, and there a series of questions that you wouldn't normally ask people that I really thought provoking. Lexm Okay, we cannot do more than another shout out. I think we're using her past. We've done to her fields, normal sunshine stays, just things that we like and we just say acknowledging it. Yeah, but really good. On her website, she's got like three different versions. So this is the question pack number two, which is um. The first one's like the basic one, and then the second one's like more critical and it's cards with these questions on them. So if you do like these questions, that's where we got them. But we thought that to add some structure to this episode, we'd ask some of these questions. Do we want to get into it? Yeah? We do? Okay, well be prepared. I'm sure we have some juicy answers. So to kick off the first question, I pulled this one and I thought it would be really interesting, So tell someone what your first impression of them was and how it's changed. And I thought we could all answer for one person to our right as I kind of get to know you for the people who are listening. So, Kate, what was your first impression of Fiebly? Okay, my first impression of you, well, I've definitely met you through Jem and sort of, oh gosh, I don't I don't even kind of remember. Yeah, I feel I do remember. I feel I meet your birth birthday as like a little additional person. Yeah, yeah, I think my first impression of you was just, I don't know, super lively, super chatty, super fun to be around, and you know those sort of friends that you meet and you're like Oh, that'd be like an awesome social friend to someone that I'm engaged with on a social level and just have a good time with. But then I realize you're also really fucking into spin class and the scena and the friendship has just grown, and I think, now, yeah, when you like dig a bit deeper with friendships, and yeah, sort of cut the surface and ended up. It's very nice because we were definitely we were definitely mutual. We were definitely mutuals, and now we're friends. I felt really happy that you envirotedmate your birthday. Yeah, I was like a little plus one, but I'll come along and I did time. It was really fun and we all got hammered. That was really fun. Actually, So, Phoebe, what was your first impression of Aaron? So I sort of knew Aaron through UNI, like we'd done like when we first mate. It was well, technically it was when we traveled overseas for UNI. That was when we first made no but I knew like we'd we'd been. We'd interacted very briefly, like you know, like in UNI classes where we did a similar degree, both environmental studies, and it was I quickly preface this by saying I have a terrible memory. Yeah, so I do really like like it was a small cohort, like it was everyone at the school knew each other. Yeah yeah, yeah, like I knew of you and so from there we both like ended up going overseas. Yeah. Yeah, and that was very I feel like it was a very intense experience. It was a lot happening, a lot of just it was craziness. So what was your first impression of her? It was just it was an intense experience. It was intense, like overseaz it was a lot. So we can I say where we were. Yeah, we were in Fiji. We're in Fiji for two weeks for two weeks with a group of like twenty people. Twenty people, um, and we stayed in multiple different places. Yeah, rural places, a lot of strong characters that we met, character interesting characters like the permaculture man. Yes. So I think because it was just such a like we'll throw you into this random country and you're going to be immeding with these crazy people and doing all this crazy stuff. You got to know people very quickly. So yeah, that was my first impressions was like, you're very genuine and like up clear who you are, because it was like we were together and I would have been sitting there like yeah, it wasn't like it was like very like five minutes in you we were yeah, already clicking clicking. Yeah, so cute, because that's what it was. That's what the experience. We were in a very intense experience. Yeah. Yeah, what a lovely first impression to have of someone and genuine in the tropical waters that we went, not clean and what else do we do? We did lots of something. We walked down a river, oh yeah, and we were swearing at the miners who were mining and they were said yeah, and we were all recording them, were gonna report you. Government couldn't give a single nine ship because some students actually went into the office and were like, what are you going to do about this? And they're like, we don't care, we don't care. Um. So it was really interesting. But it was beautiful. It was beautiful, beautiful, beautiful field trip it was, and it was it was kind of nice actually because I'd been on a field trip before that to Vietnam and this one was really chill, so you actually got to know we were at ten. We played a lot of Banana Grams. I love that that right, I really associate that game with you, Aaron Banana gram Yeah, yeah, I always play it with you. I've only ever played it with you. Aron. What were your first impressions of Gemma? Oh my god, you know, my first I'm fucking incredible, because they would, let's be terrible, mind. I can't. I can't be because I'm I'm a genuine person. You are, but also, this is my podcast, this is your podcast. So my first impression, Gemma were parties. No, you can't. No. I One morning, I was eating my breakfast at college, mining my own goddamn business, and two tables down from me, this girl Waltz is in with like three people like trailing after her, and she goes, oh my god, I just got a Mecca package and she proceeds to unbox her fucking like huge Mecca order on the table. Not to be fair, Mecca does really good gift boxes the way they yeahs. And so she's here, she's unpacking everything, like going through a skin cap. Everybody's like around the tables like oohing and ring and like getting really really excited, and she's standing there like you were like dressed really nicely, like he had full face of makeup on. You have like really nice honestly, yeah, vividly in college you like always I was insecure about my skins, so like, but you look like great and you have like the full outfit whatever. And I just remember sitting there being like this bitch like unpacking her little Mecca order. She think she's hot shit, And I was like, I know, I remember this, and I was like, oh, what a fucking car wholesome, Like I noticed I've told you this before. I was seriously like what a white cair Like this girl has so much funny like one of the Melbourne girls, Like she's got like all her cash, she's got a little Mecca order coming in every month, like and everybody around the table like I just remember really some people who yeah, yeah I should yeah anyway, um and I was just like, oh my go ahead, like girl that like the bronze is a cute and I was like, Okay, this is a lot. And then I learned because I was telling somebody about this, and I was like, oh yeah, this girl, like what the fuck like a bit of a bit of a pose arm I enjoying getting her enjoying. But the thing is about Like the thing is like when you enter the kitchen of college, it's like an auditorium, Like it's like the fucking gladiators, and like she'd like put on this show for everybody, like unpacking. Are you sure I didn't just get I'm sure you just got to that's whatever. But like me and like seven am in the morning and I'm like fucking like a little love like goblin, a little gremlin over my breakfast or Australia post is. I get excited when a page. So what was it? Anyway? But yeah, how you had like so much funny. I was like, oh this girl, what about And then my friend goes, yeah, and she's a climate change And I remember like when my first time, my first time I ever talked to you, we had an argument where you were like climate change isn't real, and I was like, I do think that happened. This happened, This happened, but I've never thought that maybe I was just pulling your legs. No, I think you are one hundred timperscent were I think you're one hundred timpercent were pulling me like and I fully believed you, And I was like, I cannot believe she was taking of that, and I think, like, like James said to me at the time, he was like, I'm pretty sure, like you know, like she was drinking, and I was like, no, she wasn't like babes. I don't think I've ever not believed in No, I know, but I think you were. I think you were in my leg. But I was like so angry, and I was like this girl. But now we're like, I know, like that figgers, So there we go. But I would say you're a very different person. I would say you're a very likely I'm a patch with lots of money. But I also I'm like, I'm really interesting because I have a very negative album for people. So like I would judge somebody within like first second. Yeah, but you also change. But also like I judge somebody within first first ten seconds. So I see that a college I was just like, so, when you meet someone, you see the worst of them. I mean somebody, I try really hard to find the best of the Yeah. Ever, but this is why I think I have a quick judge of character. Yeah, because I always see the worst in people. Do you think that's me? Now? No, you're a very different person. Now, I would say personally. But I don't think I've gotten a meta party. You say, Kate, you've known Gem since Well I'm not. Gem's not to my right hand side. Yeah. Well, I'm going to give my first impression of Kate, and since I'm a wink up, it's gonna be like, really, can we really love a climate tonight? I'm not going to pull any funchies. And I love Metha and I love love Meca packages, so Mecca send them. Aaron, you kind of really sold me for doing an amazing unboxing body was maybe would say shout out to Metha. Hello, Okay, so thank you Aaron. I love you. I love you too, So I'm not offended. I'm not. But my first impression of Kate was I met Kate for the first time at Mooseheads really yep, and she was with someone at the time, and I remember one of our mutual friends like introduced me to her and I was like, oh, this is Kate Bolter and I was like, I saw you and I met you, and I was like, I was like, wow, she's so pretty. She's never going to hugly, yeah, pretty ugly. I was like, she's so pretty, and I was like she's never going to be friends with me. Like, I just like, because I was like four and a half year, I know, here we are. But I was like, oh, she's so beautiful, and you're kind of quiet as well, because you didn't really know any of us. Funny story, there's actually a photo of us from that night in which me and another someone I was friends with got a photo in the background is Kate. Yell, oh my god, that's incredible. We got to find it, but please it's kind of a relic, and then posted in the show notes. Yeah I will. But then I don't know what it was, but something about that first impression, I was like, yeah, I kind of like made up my mind. I was like, Okay, I guess I've got to be friends with her now. I just was like, I'm going to be her friend. And so the second time I met Kate, Yeah, I go back to our first podcast episode together. Yeah, yeah, Actually, if you want to hear that full story, but basically, I ambushed her and I staged to run in to meet her. I saw her coming up the stairs, B ANDD stage to run in with her mum and so that we could meet, and then the rest is history. Don't pursues people. I do does for friendships? She does. She pursued me, arrant you pursued me. I think it was pretty mutual. Oh that's what you like. You ways to like like not incidentally, but like find opportunities to hang out with somebody when you enjoy hanging out for you're like, I'm going to find an opportunity to see them, which is an admirable thing because you know that, like you know, with people that you potentially start a really nice friendship with, and you see good qualities in these people who like, you know, because you could miss out on so many friendships if you didn't see that. And here we are four and a half years later, the pretty girl who was really quiet is now sitting definitely not quiet, definitely not pretty. I think. I think the question, though, is interesting because the whole point of reflext questions think creatically about him and then talking about a question blah blah blah, and not just they answer itself. But I think first impression is really interesting. Yeah, really really interesting. Well I think your your idea, Yeah that's common quote or like actually take time to get to know people, because it's like Aaron, Well, but I feel like fair enough. I was probably a bit of a brat back then, definitely, But now we know each other on a much deeper level, and I feel like, oh, I don't think any of those things that you thought about me, would you would say my main attributes these things? Absolutely don't know. Maybe I'm still a little bit of a wanker. No sometimes, Um, but what a great way to introduce everyone into the podcast. So I feel like this next one we'll do, we'll dig a little bit deeper. What stereotype do you completely live up to, completely live up to? Yeah? What's a stereotype about a kind of person? Just about ourselves? Yeah, so about the kind of person someone would perceive you as that You're like, actually, that's correct. Oh can I go first? Because I actually have thought about this a lot. So I feel like there's a stereotype of like white girls like Taylor Swift. You and I really like Taylor Swift and I and every time I'm like and I'm actually a huge Swift ye. But I feel like, and I say that with absolutely confidence because I love her, even like this morning, who was like one of you was like looking over my shoulder and I was like, oh, my god, Taylor Swift was seen in public for the first time in three months. But I feel like it's such a thing of like, oh my god, like basic white girls who like Taylor Swift, And recently I've come to embrace the fact that I am a basic white girl who runs a psychology podcast and who listens to Taylor Swift always in the car. That's my stereotype. Is it a good one? I like that so type, Yeah, you do live up to it? Yeah, I would you if she came to Australia, would you seem all than one of shows? I actually was talking to someone about this the other day. If she did a tour in anywhere in the world, I would probably bankrupt myself to go and see her. Every day I wake up and one of my first thoughts is about Taylor Swift. Do you guys I have a Taylor Swift tattoo? Like, like, I'm obsessed. Who else has a stereotype that they live up to? I'm sure that there's like many different versions of me. So I actually we recently interviewed someone for my house like potential housemate, and this person just like everything that I do in my life, like I'm interested in like what I study sort of work area interest. They said everything that I do, and I was like, I'm just not an original past Oh I love cello what I love and I studied yea that actually I'm not going to say where I work, but like that actually had done an internship for one of our stakeholders that I work. Oh wow, And I thought, oh my gosh, okay, yeah, and it just there was just too many similarities. And I was like, right, and she even had her nose pierced on the same side that I have my nose pierced, and I thought, right, blonde her. Yeah. I was like, Okay, you're not coming in this house because I am the only she could have been a really good house. Maybe you were like absolutely not. No, No, that's what I say, you know, like that's saying if you met yourself, you know, in public, kind of hate them to be And all my no and all my housemates said that. They were like they were like, she no harm to this person, no no negativity towards her, but they were like she didn't see she They're like there's something off. There was something off because it was just it was very weird. Yeah, but I think I do live up to some stereotype like, um, I don't like, I'm sure there's many. There's many Like I'm I was one of many types of people that looked and acted and thought like me at the School of Environment. Yeah, um, that's really interesting. Hey, but guys, if hebe ever dies, we know where we can also another thing, like, for example, high school, I was just like the super perfectionist, overachieving teachers pet kid like and I think that lives up to a big stereotype and all of those stereotypes are true. Yeah, interesting, cake, do you have one? I think I sort of do. I think it came about during lockdown and everyone was like, oh, you know, really struggling to maintain a routine and exercise and that I fucking live for the morning routine. Wake up seven am, open girl. Yeah that girl. Hey, I love a morning routine like I love I love a bit of like I don't know, yoga or pilates in the morning, that whole thing my thirty minutes, you know, shout out yoga with Adrian um and I love like I don't know. My overnight oats is prepared and officially the night before eat it. It makes me feel put together and like ready for my day, like I and I find it easy to incorporate into my So for some people, like it's a hard routine to implement, but I'm like, I live. It's it's not that it's a morning routine, like I wake up relatively early. Yeah, however, however I don't have you don't know, I don't have it. I don't like having a routine. I like doing something different every day. I set my alarm for a different minute every day. I could not do that. I don't know. I think I'm like if I especially for like work or something limited time me to get up and do it all in that time frame that I have, like a I just I go to bed at random times, I wake up at random times. I eat random food every day. Like it's never that girl or just the you know, I don't know. It was just such a lockdown thing people like lacking motivation and things, and I was like, I need to do that. So I kind of stayed insane. Yeah, you should create a TikTok and become TikTok famous. We don't know. No, Yes, I love it. Hey, but guys, if one of us was going to be TikTok famous probably either Phoebe or k I am TikTok famous, not tikto famous. I'ment viral once and you're your dog My dog. My dog went viral and it was hilarious. Aron, what's a stereotype about you? Can? I give one view? The redhead was a bit of a temper and her ora color is red. So with the fighting, that's true, true, it's so true. I'm such an angry person Aaron. Today there was a child walking in front of her when we were on the Hasting Street in Noosa and the child was just ambling along as a child does with very little perceptual awareness, and Aaron just like, it's like, oh my god, get out of my way. It almost runs into this child. I was doing the under the breath comment. I was walk it. I was like, how dare you like get out of my life? A three year old of no critical thinking skill. The parents need to take it out of the way, like I'm sorry, that's kind of child run into traffic. Another example was watching you use your phone, pay phone, use your phone to pay like the Hayway tonight, Yeah, getting dinner, getting pizza and instead of just like you know, putting in your pastcord or scanning your face and like holding your phone above the thing. Um, it was like slam. Yeah, I always do that when I just like I always, I always do the like I really tap it like viciously and then when my eyes fully cancel it and then like go freaking. I got so angry the other day I threw my phone across the room and then it broke and I speaker sounds weird because I threw it. Damn, you're not going to be our speaker and the bowl girl. No, I'm not going to feed speaking the girl because it's all crappily now. So to run through our stereotypes, we've got a hot headed, redhead, a cellowed player I'm moving routina, and a swifty and a swifty a cello player. I don't think that's my sterogy. No, I know what my stereotype is. Horse girl. Oh you can just look at me and know I was a horse girl. Yeah, okay, exactly, Yeah, okay, that was amazing. Next question, and this one is so interesting because I've never asked any of you this, and I'm really interested in here recount the first time you were intoxicated the first time you're drunk. I actually I remember the first time. I was like freaked off my face. We were I don't know, high school party, group of us young uns and you know, just having a good time. We look in the mirror and it was the most out of body experience seeing my drunk self in the mirror. I just pissed myself laughing, and I thought it was the most just the funniest thing because I, I don't know, it was like I was looking at myself. I was like, that's Kate, but that's not Kate, And it was just this weird, like out of body do you personalized I don't know, sort of feeling. I just kissed myself every time I saw myself in the reflection. What were you drunk on? Oh? I think it was like a double blacks good times? She was drunk on good times? What about you, phibs Um. It was probably when I went on exchange to France and I was friends and so I was friends with all the French kids at my school, but I also had my exchange friends, and so these were kids from the US, one girl from Iceland, m Austria, Germany, Netherlands, a bunch of Guatemalans and this girl from Brazil and oh and a guy from Argentina, and just different drinking ages all around the world, different drinking cultures, different drinking cultures, and yeah, I just remember getting we were actually like we'd gotten some we bought some alcohol, and then we'd gone down to this like beautiful fountain like in the middle of the town that I was in, and yeah, we're just sitting there and I think it was like champagne or something levels and I just remember being like, whoa, I how many drinks do you think you would have had to get to that level? And yeah, probably, Yeah, Like I never um, like in high school. It was only towards the very end of high school even that I like, after formals, like after parties, they were sort of the only like I experiences that I would drink a little bit. But I don't know, like I would remember when I was stereotyp I do remember, and I was like eighteen or something and I finished like high school and stuff, and my dad picked me up from a party and it was like, did you drink? And I was like, no, you were eighteen though. Yeah, but like my family, we don't drink, like we're not big drinkers, and I it's just not something that like it was really more when I came to UNI. But I like I drunk in high school. It wasn't It was never too an extreme, I don't think so. I don't think it was like it's like one UDL two D naughty. I love that the first thing you got drunk off was a champagne in France. Yeah, I love that. I just think it's amazing near a fountain. Yeah, it was actually castle in the middle of the town that I was in, and there was a big cat at the bottom and yeah, and then I think we went into a club and had a great night. That sounds so the rest is history. Did you know? I lived in Europe? Phoebe today at the markets talking French, but everyone I was just standing there. But she was really good. And then I would just be standing there like drinking my overpriced smoothie, being like, what hell my name is Jemma Pale, Gemma Aaron, what was the first time you were ever intoxicated? Um? So little known in fact about me. I didn't start drinking until I was eighteen. Good job I didn't know that. Yeah, um, like staunchly it was wearing anti alcohol until I was eighteen. Um, and then I remember my first drink. I don't remember getting drunk for the first time because, as we have mentioned in the past twenty minutes, I don't have a very good memory U. So yeah, I don't remember because I was I would have been at my gap here, so it would have been at some point when I was traveling on my gap here. Clearly wasn't that memorable, like you were drunk so and like I had lots of times on my gap here where I went out and had little party and you know, um, but the first time I ever drank, I was like given like gin and juice and it was terrible. It was so like gin and orange juice. And I was like in this plastic cup and I was just sitting there and drinking, and like I never really drunk before. So I think I remember standing up and being like, oh, that's a bit weird. But yeah, I didn't drink that much at all because I was very uncomfortable with the people I was with my work with, who were kind of horrible and I didn't really like them, and I was like, oh, I don't want this to be like I couldn't go out because I was like seventeen, I didn't have a fake idea and I was in the UK, and I was like, no, I'm didn't so I didn't really drink. Oh interesting, I never knew that about you yet. But I also like, you know, having a parent who's an alcoholic, it doesn't really encourage you to drink that much alcohol. So yeah, yeah, interesting. But I don't know, don't remember. I think I probably remember the first time I got high. Maybe um, yeah that is or another time for another time. Yeah. The first time I ever got drunk was so funny. So my friend Zoe, who was on the podcast she did the Secrets of Lasting Friendship episode. She turned eighteen before I did, so of course being friends, you know, you got to really take advantage of that. And the first time I ever got drunk, we went and saw a movie and then afterwards we went to seven eleven in the city because I lived in Melbourne at the time, in the city, and we bought these massive slurpies and then she was like, do you want to have a little thing to drink? And I was like okay, and I've had like a drunk before, but I was like okay, And she bought those tiny little bottles of gin, which is such a dead giveaway that someone is buying alcohol for someone else and that they're young, because who the fuck buys those tiny bottles of gin unless you're about to spike at drink, like, unless you're about to either take it into like a rave and you're not at alcohol, or you are about to spack of drink. So she bought five tiny little bowls of gin and poured three of them into my into my sloppy, which I then proceeded to finish in about five minutes. And I was like, this feels amazing. So she went and bought two more, and we got another sloppy and she poured to it, and I remember I was so drunk and I had to get the tram home. It was like five shots of gin, which these days would like I would be tipsy, but I wouldn't be drunk. I would be drunk. Yeah, actually, And also you had three, I had five when I got two more, and also I would be drunk because I drained them in about fifteen minutes. Oh my god. And I had to get the tram home and I was like whoa and everything. Yeah, and I meant it and I got home and I was like, oh my god, my mum can't know I'm drunk. And I walked in and my mum was still up and I was like, hey mom, and she was like she was like hey. I was like, I'm going to go to bed, and it was like a part of me and I was like, um, yeah, and that's a part of me that was like, I want to act a bit more trump. I want to have this weird conversation with my mom about the fun that I've been drinking. I just never noticed. So yeah, yeah, very very cute, very very cute. And I've since told her she thought it was really funny. Um. The next question, Phoebe picked this one. Thank Phoebe. Would you like to read it since you picked, I don't know, or would you rather be naive or jaded? Naive? No question about it. Naive because then you can be ignorant. Yeah. I am jaded and I am naive. I wish I was a little bit more jaded, but I wouldn't probably still rather be naive because I like my life. Yeah. I think in both of those cases you can be very happily. I think when you're jaded, you can be happily surprised, whereas when you're naive, it's always going to be a I like that. But Kate, what do you think? I don't know. If you like, I wouldn't say I'm naive, but I'm definitely not jaded. I think I would would be somewhere. If you're naive, you can get Yeah, that's true, you can like just be oblivious to things around you. But when you're jaded, you're grumpy. When you were talking about this today, I feel like when we were having this chat earlier, when you're jaded, it's really hard to see the best in situations. And I think it's kind of like what you were talking about, Aaron. With your impressions of people, you always expect a negative outcome because I think jaded naturally comes from an experience with a negative outcome, comes from a point of negativity, so you're always expecting something negative. Can I just at a point that you just what you just said just reminded me of something that I have been trying really hard to do all the time, um, particularly in the last year. But I try and notice and this is something I learned from my dad, and I've also spoken my housemade about but trying to find little things like the simple pleasures of life, like little positive things like for example, if I am on a walk, or I'm even just walking to the like train stop or something, I'll see like a cool leaf or something and I have to point it out, like my boyfriend is having to listen to me, stop and go. It's a caterpillar. And looking at the little simple pres like like oh my gosh, like a really good coffee or something. The simple pleasures and like seeking enjoyment in them is a really fantastic thing to do, and I am really enjoyed doing it. With both these arguments in mind, what do you think I would still say, I'm I'm in the middle, I think, would I know? But would you rather? And I don't. I literally don't know, because I mean, I'm in the middle, and I don't know. I quite like it, I think because obviously, if you're too naive, if people can abuse that and things go over your head and you're not actually quite you're not aware of what is really happening around you. But if you're too jaded, yeah, you have this very cynical sort of outlook on people in life. It's quite I'm detrimental. What would you I can't curiosity. I feel like maybe like a critical cynic or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're sort of like I'm aware that you know, not everything is as it seems, but like I'm credically in the sense that like that can change. Yeah, I'm almost into to say jaded, and that's that's controversial. I don't know. I don't know naive, Like I don't know, jem what do you think I would say? Because yeah, actually, can I change my answer? I would I would actually probably say jaded because I think what I said before, like thinking about that, like when you're jaded, you have the opportunity to be positively surprised. Whereas true, I was happiest when I was ten years old, so be as naive as I was, I'd rather I'd rather be jaded because I do actually think that people and situations doesn't surprise you. If I think changes occurring. If I'm a Clanot Denier, you're like two kids in NUSA as a yummy mummy in your active way, and I go to yoga and you maybe you are with your little life and you're like multimillion dollar Manchin maybe I'm more jaded than I think. Yeah, I think I just revealed like quite jaded from that sentence itself. But I think that would be fun. Like I think there's a there's a certain I also think it's related to like income and education status, but I think that there is a certain like level of middle ground that you also see a lot with like social media influences, whether they where they have a lot of money, a lot of disposable income and they're like, let's go and they just like this really actually are aware of it, and they just decide not up to me. I'm an individual. I'm just gonna do what I want for my own personal game. No, because I think they're completely naives. They just live their little life because they know they can live their little life because at the end of the day, they have never like in some ways, like because of the like I don't want to say, because I'm typecasting like anybody who's a social media influencer. So I think we all know, like what type of social media influencer I'm talking about. We saw some of them today. We saw some of the today taking photos of them sifting and their little stiffoward and then we're quite funny. Actually, we were all four of us were walking back from this like pretty isolated beach area and it's in the National Park, and we were talking about something a little bit gross. No, it's not gross, it's it's something that happens very normal. We're talking about peeing in the ocean. No peeing in the ocean and peeing in the shower. Everyone doesn't very satisfying, very satisfying. What it is at the end of the day. Who bees in the ocean? The fucking whales. Okay, if you're if you're at the beach, If you're at the beach and you have the choice of going to one of those grimy public toilets that are near a beach or peeing in the ocean. You also, by the time you know, the sun disinfects it, right, whales and you're saving. But anyhow, these are influenced types just gave us why they gave us dirty looks. I was trying to figure, Okay, that makes so much sense. They were just like, because we were cackling away as we should, we were having a great time, as we should. But yeah, I think people like that live very naive. I want to use the word sheltered. Again, I'm making a huge stereotype and like broadly painting everybody with the same brush. But I think very sheltered life in which their ability to live the way they do is due to their disposable income, lack of responsibility, and nepotism. Baby vibes vibes, which is not says anything wrong with that, because I would also love that, because I would love to be naivete with like giving all my fast fashion Google Google Google, Um, Shane shine, what is it called shine every week? And you shine package the clothing brass? Oh, No, they'd be going, they'd be going something like they'd probably be going Princess Polly. I think, yeah, high Brad Lulu Lemon. Yeah, where you go to your little yoga class and you focus on yourself because I don't know anything again, there's something more. We're going to a yoga cass. Actually sorry, Okay, that was a terrible example. I already hate ya. No, who was talking to I think EJ and I was talking about this other day. Maybe it was Aja again, terrible memory. Wow, this podcast is really showing this. But yeah, basically, um she was talking about this. I think it was DJ was where she um goes to your own class and sees like the same people every single morning sometimes and they'll go like three times a day, have lunch, do a little like afternoon session, and then like go home. And I was like, to live like that would be pure bliss. Aaron wants to be naive. You want to be native. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, it's going to read. The next question will be less anxious. Youn't tend to say less anxiety for less aniety. Next question, when the first time you truly felt like an adult? Well, I don't. I don't know, because I always when I talk about real adults aka people with mortgages and um real more. I have a real job, but like the real real jobs. Anyways, I like to make the distinct distinction that I am not one of those real adults yet. Yeah, I feel like I'm fifteen most act. Surely you feel I have felt like an adult before. I feel the same as when I was fifteen. When I'm on the catching public transport and I'm in my work clothes looking around, everyone is in their business attire. I'm like, I look like the two kids down in their school uniforms. I'm like, I'm I'm that. Yeah, it's actually a really hard question. Are you trying to think about it? Kate? Yeah, I can remember a period when I first felt like an adult, Like there was this time I think it was in the middle of my first year at UNI, and I just like kind of got my heartbroken and I felt for the first time like I was making adult decisions and feeling adult feelings and I was like responsible for those feelings and mine. This is so interesting you say that mine is so similar. Really, yeah, my first year as well. Yeah, I wouldn't I wouldn't say heartbroken, but I would say a bit of a shake up in my life. But it was like the first time that I was like, I'm kind of like the only person here for myself right now. Whereas usually if this would happen when I was back home, you know, Melbourne, like with my family and stuff, I'd just be like a crying wreck or just an anxious mess, and there'd be a lot of people around to be like, oh, you're fine, Like let's take care of you. Cookie, did a lot, you dar whatever it was. But I was just fully on my own, and I just remember, yeah, one day, just just a lot had happened, and I was just sort of walking through like the city in Canberra. I hadn't eaten all day. It was like two pm. All the lunch shops were closed. I was just a mess. I was having I was just trying to get to some chemist to get something. I was just all over the show and I was like freak, Like you really only have yourself in this moment, and it was sort of like a moment of realization where I was like, damn, like I'm a real I don't know. Yeah, yes, and interesting to say, mine was very very similar responsible for your own emotions and just like these emotions really pushy there. It's so interesting. I never knew that. Yeah, but I had a similar thing where I was really sad and I was walking. I don't know. I think you were the only person who was in my life in this period. But I would walk around campus at like two three am in the morning, yeah, all by myself, and I would walk around and I put on really loud music and I would walk into like the darkest sports of campcredibly dangerous. I would I would walk down to Suliman Cricket and I just and I remember just being like one time I walked back into the building and I was like checking from my card to get in, and I found it and I just like stood there and I was just like I felt really really mature, and I felt jaded. I felt jaded. I felt jaded. Yeah, Aaron, what about you? I would say interestingly, I have like two one that happened kind of recently, because for me, it kind of comes and goes. Um. I know the question is first time, but I want to hear both. Yeah, well, I think boat Like. The first thing is sometimes I get these random flashes where I'm like I could wake up at three them and go for a walk and nobody could stop me. Because when I was a kid, I used to want to go for like runs all the time when I couldn't get to sleep at like ten him at night or whatever. And I used to be like, oh, I really want to just like go for a run and get all this energy out of me whatever. My mom would never let me because she'd be like, yeah, it's way to unsafe outside. I was fifteen, totally get that, and still child, you're a real one. I was an actual child, but I always have these realizations that as an adult, I'm like oh my god, I could just like go and like go for a walk or I don't know, those sudden realizations because I feel like I mentally feel fifteen most of the time. But the sudden realizations happen on public transport. Yeah. Yeah. Catching a plane by yourself, yeah, catching a plane by yourself, yeah, which I can't do. So I think I did that as a child though, because like if I was going back to wahc family or something. You girls, Yeah, but like when you go and book your own flight, yeah, well you're organizing your own accommodation. Yeah, like for myself. Yeah, you feel like an adult right now with you guys know. Yeah, today when we were on the ferry, I was like, I feel like I'm sixty. Yeah. Yeah, I felt like one today though, with my bag, with my bag. Yeah. What was your second one? Um? So yeah, first one random, which interestingly I've never done. I've never gotten up with ram and like wandering around by myself, probably because I'm concerned for my safety. But I could do that, but the fact that you know, you did not chalk that up to an adult. Um. And the second one is that when I moved with Jack, my boyfriend, Um, I don't know these single pole cast episode. I've told him too, he's not acast person. We discussed this on the previous Girls Talk episode Why Podcast Person Next road Trip Yeah yeah, um but oh he has listened to it with me, whether he's listened to any of the episodes anyway, I'm going on to te um. We when we moved to Tassi together, we lived together in like a big three bedroom house in Hobar, which was really lovely. Um, and we would often have moments where we'd be like cooking dinner together or whatever, and we were like, wow, like this feels like a real, like adult thing. Yeah, because like it's it's interesting because like when you live with your partner like separately, it feels very very grown up because it's something like I guess people romanticize a lot, probably like when you're a kid and you're like, one day I'm gonna live in my hash from my um. But also it's like, oh, we can just like literally eat whatever we want for dinner. Like sometimes we get frozen pizza and two beaks for dinner. It's really yummy. And then other times we'll cook like a big meal or have soup or something really healthy or you know. But yeah, when we were living together, and it was always like when we were cooking, which is really interesting, but as because we had the transporting, beautiful big kitchen and Tazi and we'd always be cooking dinner or we'd be like dancing around in the kitchen together or like you know, playing reflex or just like talking about our days. And it's like, wow, it feels like a real adult thing, because living in the sharehouse doesn't make you feel like an adult. It makes me feel like I am twelve. Yeah, living with you're living with your buddies. Yeah, it's yeah, hey, crazy about what you just said. You were like when you move in with your partner. It's this thing that you've looked forward to as a child. It's just I had not realized this, but you're like one of my first friends. We've done that, and it's crazy to be like, oh my god, we're in that stage. And isn't it crazy to be like, oh my god, we're in the stage when an adult realization moments where people are moving in with their partners and I'm just like my friends, No, I don't think any oh geet get yeah, Reta, why do think I was thinking about friend Gia. Yeah, I think. Also, I'm just like totally not Well, you guys all have very beautiful relationships with people who've all been together with almost all of you at a year. We all started dating our partners at the same time last year, and you know who, I started dating someone who who I no longer speak to, but you guys all started dating people, which but it's fine because I really like all your partners. Um, So I'm not even in that mindset, Aaron at all of this is what an adult like. But it's really it's really weird because it feels very official, and I think sometimes that's quite scary, but it's also really fucking fun, Like living together with Jack is so living together living with Jack living together is really really fucking fun. We have lots of fun. That's so nice. Okay, So to wrap this up, we're going to do a quick speed round, one question for one person glowing around the circle so we can say goodbye to our three lovely guests for coming on. Phoebe, would you like to start a question for Kate for me? Go pick it for each person. No, you pick for your own, Okay, do I peep from the top of the day. Yeah, wherever I'm just I'm going diving into the middle here. Okay, great, frick how do I do it? If there was one reason for living, what do you think it is? Okay? One, okay, one reason for living? God, I think it's just to make all the fucking mistakes in the world, but learn from them so that your life, like actually has purpose and meaning. If you're just like constantly living a happy life. Honestly, what's the point in living? Make mistakes, learn from them, have a life worth living? I thought you're answer seriously that. I thought her answer was going to be Gelada Messina And also okay, Gemma ready, oh, actually answer that question last night. We also answered that question last night. Have you got a last night question? Yeah? What's an irrational phobia of yours? Planes? Yes, very easy. My irrational phobia is planes. Another irrational phobia is that personal one. But everyone I date is going to find someone after me? Isn't even like it's incredibly irrational because it's a high likelihood that every single person you will date will move on to find a person, because that's how dating works. Over to you, Aaron and or relations, guys, You've you've had so much time, and we've done very very speed speed, and let's keep it up. Let's keep it up, like to random, here we go. This is an alien question. What do you think aliens look like? Oh? Yeah, I agree, Kater agreed, center in the Norman territory. Oh, it's why I can talk about that quickly. It um. I think that we simply could not comprehend what aliens look like. And I think that they're probably all watching us, like the Truman Show, the film, we are just their little pawns, and I reckon they place bets on our lives. Yeah, I reckon we fully just like. There's no side doing basis for this. By the way, this is my personal theory. Yeah. I think that's interesting because as a child, I used to think that we were living in a little tiny box and giants were playing with us. Yeah, and yeah dolls the giants would control. Yeah, that's that's similar. Vibes your question from the top, Oh, Baker Rock, how would this experience be different if there was no drugs or alcohol? Well, I'm not drinking right now, so it would be the exact same. That's a really question. I'm doing a new one. Anyone would you rather live without love or money. I would definitely rather live without money. I will go live as a recluse in the mountains with some goats and love who I love. Cake out that one completely wrong, and I would be so that's I. Money makes me really stressed. So but love makes me really happy. What a beautiful beautiful in the words of the money makes me stressed, but love makes me happy. And you know what the words of Cake bolter all of today. My money don't jiggle jigger the amount of times I heard it. We'll be walking on the path money. Thanks, um think, thank you to these guys for coming on there are any time, my dearest dearest friends. So it was an amazing weekend and hopefully you guys heard that in this podcast. Um, So thanks Aaron, thanks Phoebe, thanks Kate, and thanks Jim, and thank you Jim. Yes, and play some of these questions with your friends right down and and then let us know. Yeah, the Amsta Graham which is at that psychology podcast, at that psychology psychology I changed it recently. Oh I hated and I also changed with the branding. Did anyone notice? I did? I did? I saw you? I still know about it? YEP, I heard it on the pole, So did I actually thought that you were voted. Yeah, of course, we kind of voted listeners to vote it devoted. And yeah, make sure you subscribe and leave a rating on the podcast on either Spotify or Apple Podcasts if you feel cool to do so, and thank you again for tuning in. Send it to your friends. Send it to your friends like I have. Send it to my loved ones. Yeah, my loved ones. Goodbye,

The Psychology of your 20s

A podcast that explains how everything is psychology. Even your 20s. Each Tuesday and Friday we deep 
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