Andy Reid, Welcome to the podcast.

Andy Reid, Welcome to the podcast.

Thank you so much for having me. Paul. How are you?

Thank you so much for having me. Paul. How are you?

I am very good.

I am very good.

I will be all the better in about a week when I submit my pH d.

I will be all the better in about a week when I submit my pH d.

Finally, how long has that taken you?

Finally, how long has that taken you?

Yeah?

Yeah?

For four years.

For four years.

But I've had a bit of a false start because I started doing and something else and the end that, for certain reasons didn't happen, so I then started again. So I've got a made of mind, who goes, fucking hell, you've been doing a PhD forever?

But I've had a bit of a false start because I started doing and something else and the end that, for certain reasons didn't happen, so I then started again. So I've got a made of mind, who goes, fucking hell, you've been doing a PhD forever?

Seems to be the way right with that PhD carry on? I mean, look, it's far too educated for me, for the likes a little of me, but for the consistence, persistence, I think you should get one, just for persisting with it. Man, it's so impressive to see people that have just got the have just the resolve to survive it, right, It's very impressive.

Seems to be the way right with that PhD carry on? I mean, look, it's far too educated for me, for the likes a little of me, but for the consistence, persistence, I think you should get one, just for persisting with it. Man, it's so impressive to see people that have just got the have just the resolve to survive it, right, It's very impressive.

Well, often, you know, people take a long time. I know people have taken seventy eight years, but now UNIS and UNIS used to be quite happy with that, but now I think there's pressure a lot of pressure to finish on time, and I think the government has tied funding to that, which then drives behavior. Of course, I officially have a month left, but I want to get it in before then. No, I mean, we're not here to talk about my PhD, you and your book. But we before we get into that, we were just chating beforehand. We were both dragged here, kicking and screaming by our better halves, right.

Well, often, you know, people take a long time. I know people have taken seventy eight years, but now UNIS and UNIS used to be quite happy with that, but now I think there's pressure a lot of pressure to finish on time, and I think the government has tied funding to that, which then drives behavior. Of course, I officially have a month left, but I want to get it in before then. No, I mean, we're not here to talk about my PhD, you and your book. But we before we get into that, we were just chating beforehand. We were both dragged here, kicking and screaming by our better halves, right.

Yeah, clearly against clearly against our will, clearly.

Yeah, clearly against clearly against our will, clearly.

And held here against our Jesus and blight. He's having a bit of a shocker at the minute, isn't it.

And held here against our Jesus and blight. He's having a bit of a shocker at the minute, isn't it.

Honestly, But I'm so glad to be this far away. To be honest, I went back in July to visit family. I had a grandparent of that sort of run her time in the sun and passed away, and it was I don't get attached to places that much, but when I went home and walked around where I was brought up and where I grew up, you know, played football as a kid or soccer in Australia as a kid, you know, in the park, local park, and that to see the state that it's gotten to, I just could feel myself getting tangibly upset. It's just it makes me feel so grateful, even with the ridiculous amounts of traffic that we have to copy here in Melbourne, and it still makes me feel so so grateful to be here. It makes me feel incredibly grateful to have kids that are getting brought up here as opposed to there. You know, it's it's never lost on us, right, how lucky we are.

Honestly, But I'm so glad to be this far away. To be honest, I went back in July to visit family. I had a grandparent of that sort of run her time in the sun and passed away, and it was I don't get attached to places that much, but when I went home and walked around where I was brought up and where I grew up, you know, played football as a kid or soccer in Australia as a kid, you know, in the park, local park, and that to see the state that it's gotten to, I just could feel myself getting tangibly upset. It's just it makes me feel so grateful, even with the ridiculous amounts of traffic that we have to copy here in Melbourne, and it still makes me feel so so grateful to be here. It makes me feel incredibly grateful to have kids that are getting brought up here as opposed to there. You know, it's it's never lost on us, right, how lucky we are.

Really absolutely, And look I often say that in workshops actually when we talk about gratitude, and I say most most immigrants like us who live in Australia are like, Okay, the hell this place is just amazing. Honestly, when I hear when I hear Australians complaining, I think to myself, fuck off to a third world country for a year, and or I couldn't.

Really absolutely, And look I often say that in workshops actually when we talk about gratitude, and I say most most immigrants like us who live in Australia are like, Okay, the hell this place is just amazing. Honestly, when I hear when I hear Australians complaining, I think to myself, fuck off to a third world country for a year, and or I couldn't.

Live in or go or go or go visit Derby for a week and see what it's really all about, you know, Western civilization apparently not indeed.

Live in or go or go or go visit Derby for a week and see what it's really all about, you know, Western civilization apparently not indeed.

But anyway, let's let's get back. Now you've had a wide and varied career.

But anyway, let's let's get back. Now you've had a wide and varied career.

There's a potential suggestion there may be a bit of idiotsy going on there, but talk, what do.

There's a potential suggestion there may be a bit of idiotsy going on there, but talk, what do.

You mean potentially I might as well have it tattooed across my forehead.

You mean potentially I might as well have it tattooed across my forehead.

To be honest, it's only because I see overtones of myself.

To be honest, it's only because I see overtones of myself.

And yeah yeah.

And yeah yeah.

So to talk us through your career and then we will start to talk about the book and your podcast.

So to talk us through your career and then we will start to talk about the book and your podcast.

Yeah sure. So I originally engineering educated, so I've got a degree in mechanical manufacturing engineering, but it was boring as batshit, so I decided to get people drunk for a living instead. I made the conscious not a lot of people fall into hospitality. I actually made the conscious decision to leave engineering and go into hospitality full time, and so ran bars and restaurants and big venues. So I'll let you know, before I was a Newcastle supporter, I actually ran the the alcohol side and the drink side of Sir James's Park for a time, which was incredible.

Yeah sure. So I originally engineering educated, so I've got a degree in mechanical manufacturing engineering, but it was boring as batshit, so I decided to get people drunk for a living instead. I made the conscious not a lot of people fall into hospitality. I actually made the conscious decision to leave engineering and go into hospitality full time, and so ran bars and restaurants and big venues. So I'll let you know, before I was a Newcastle supporter, I actually ran the the alcohol side and the drink side of Sir James's Park for a time, which was incredible.

Really, so just for our just for our listeners, the uneducated park is Newcastle United, which is a big football club soccer club for the Aussies, a big one in the UK. It's a massive club actually, and they just we were talking about this before we come on. They just won their first domestic trophy in over seventeen years. And there's been Jordan's all around the worded and floods of tears.

Really, so just for our just for our listeners, the uneducated park is Newcastle United, which is a big football club soccer club for the Aussies, a big one in the UK. It's a massive club actually, and they just we were talking about this before we come on. They just won their first domestic trophy in over seventeen years. And there's been Jordan's all around the worded and floods of tears.

Me included, man, me included. I had lots of people in Sydney kind of wondering if I'd had a mental breakdown when I was crying into my porridge or my oats or whatever it was at breakfast in restaurants and things like that. It was an emotional time. But anyway, so yeah, so around the bars I ran. I was a bar manager there for a while and then looked after a couple of hotels, ran a vocabar in London, and then like yourself man met an Australian lady who who swindled me over here kicking and screaming, and fell in love with fell in love with Melbourne, fell in love with Australia. And her father was a director of a real estate firm. So I was actual approcess of getting sponsored by a telecommunications firm. But he said, look, I think you'd be good in real estate. And that was over dinner. So I said, all right, well, if I'm shit, been me and there'll be no hard feelings, and discovered quite quickly, I'll say quite quickly. It took a little while, but eventually discovered that life can be really easy if you're just, if you're just true to who you are, and and so off the back of that, I ended up being quite successful in the real estate space, sort of selling sixty to ninety homes a year and going really quite well. But then fell in love with the craft of auctioneering and again my father in my former father in law, who I owe a lot too, threw me into an auction as the auctioneer with two weeks notice and it became an addiction straight away, not for the attention, but just for the freedom that the pressure brought into my mind. It was just that spot they're nowhere to hide, complete spontaneity situation that I just fell in love with, and off the back of that, became obsessed with the craft of auctioneering. In twenty seventeen started my own auctionineering business which is still running today. I do between sort of four to five hundred options a year in Melbourne real estate options that is what the auctions and one of the most statistically one of the most active auctioneers in Melbourne. In twenty twenty two, was lucky enough, was fortunate enough to be named the number number one auctioneer in Australia. Which big mouth, my big mouth and an accent. You knows it covers all sorts of inadequacies. It really really does, and.

Me included, man, me included. I had lots of people in Sydney kind of wondering if I'd had a mental breakdown when I was crying into my porridge or my oats or whatever it was at breakfast in restaurants and things like that. It was an emotional time. But anyway, so yeah, so around the bars I ran. I was a bar manager there for a while and then looked after a couple of hotels, ran a vocabar in London, and then like yourself man met an Australian lady who who swindled me over here kicking and screaming, and fell in love with fell in love with Melbourne, fell in love with Australia. And her father was a director of a real estate firm. So I was actual approcess of getting sponsored by a telecommunications firm. But he said, look, I think you'd be good in real estate. And that was over dinner. So I said, all right, well, if I'm shit, been me and there'll be no hard feelings, and discovered quite quickly, I'll say quite quickly. It took a little while, but eventually discovered that life can be really easy if you're just, if you're just true to who you are, and and so off the back of that, I ended up being quite successful in the real estate space, sort of selling sixty to ninety homes a year and going really quite well. But then fell in love with the craft of auctioneering and again my father in my former father in law, who I owe a lot too, threw me into an auction as the auctioneer with two weeks notice and it became an addiction straight away, not for the attention, but just for the freedom that the pressure brought into my mind. It was just that spot they're nowhere to hide, complete spontaneity situation that I just fell in love with, and off the back of that, became obsessed with the craft of auctioneering. In twenty seventeen started my own auctionineering business which is still running today. I do between sort of four to five hundred options a year in Melbourne real estate options that is what the auctions and one of the most statistically one of the most active auctioneers in Melbourne. In twenty twenty two, was lucky enough, was fortunate enough to be named the number number one auctioneer in Australia. Which big mouth, my big mouth and an accent. You knows it covers all sorts of inadequacies. It really really does, and.

You've you've just summed up my career essentially.

You've you've just summed up my career essentially.

Honestly, if people actually listen paid attention to what it is that I'd say that, I said, I'd have very little credibility. I think so. But the accent just lets me get away with all sorts, which is so much fun. Yeah, So twenty twenty two was fortunate to win that. I've been into the sales and coaching and whatnot. Originally I didn't want to because I came out of real estate sales because my auctioneering business sort of really kicked on. And then in twenty twenty actually, ironically, when I couldn't do any auctions, my career really sort of kicked on. Because it was a couple of days after mister Morrison locked us all away in Melbourne in the March, when I just woke up at two thirty in the morning and said to her, then, why it's probably one of the reasons why she's not my wife anymore. I woke up at two thirty in the morning and woke her up and just said, look, I've got to I've got to do a live show. And then I created this little show during COVID called The silver Lining, which was which had a purpose of maintaining connection in a disconnected society, and just did live interviews three times a day, seven days a week. And yeah, and then yeah, which was interesting. When I had to go back to England not long after, I decided to kick off with it for some family reason, so I was doing it in different time zone for a little while as well. And yeah, and off the back of that, just gained a whole bunch of notoriety within the real estate space and as a result went into the coaching side. Was a national head of training for a major franchise group across Australia and New Zealand for a couple of years. And now I run a podcast and help people to help make success more accessible for more humans. That's that's my whole purpose for being. And and I'm very very fortunate that off the back of my hospitality, my engineering, my real estate, my sales, my networking career, it's just all sort of come together and helped me to help a load of people, which is which is really cool. I find myself to be really fortunate.

Honestly, if people actually listen paid attention to what it is that I'd say that, I said, I'd have very little credibility. I think so. But the accent just lets me get away with all sorts, which is so much fun. Yeah, So twenty twenty two was fortunate to win that. I've been into the sales and coaching and whatnot. Originally I didn't want to because I came out of real estate sales because my auctioneering business sort of really kicked on. And then in twenty twenty actually, ironically, when I couldn't do any auctions, my career really sort of kicked on. Because it was a couple of days after mister Morrison locked us all away in Melbourne in the March, when I just woke up at two thirty in the morning and said to her, then, why it's probably one of the reasons why she's not my wife anymore. I woke up at two thirty in the morning and woke her up and just said, look, I've got to I've got to do a live show. And then I created this little show during COVID called The silver Lining, which was which had a purpose of maintaining connection in a disconnected society, and just did live interviews three times a day, seven days a week. And yeah, and then yeah, which was interesting. When I had to go back to England not long after, I decided to kick off with it for some family reason, so I was doing it in different time zone for a little while as well. And yeah, and off the back of that, just gained a whole bunch of notoriety within the real estate space and as a result went into the coaching side. Was a national head of training for a major franchise group across Australia and New Zealand for a couple of years. And now I run a podcast and help people to help make success more accessible for more humans. That's that's my whole purpose for being. And and I'm very very fortunate that off the back of my hospitality, my engineering, my real estate, my sales, my networking career, it's just all sort of come together and helped me to help a load of people, which is which is really cool. I find myself to be really fortunate.

Very cool. And you've now I written a book.

Very cool. And you've now I written a book.

Yeah, and we actually share share a publishers. Who's awesome, Leslie Yes? And your books success aious? So why the focus? And you've got a podcast called High Performance People? Why the focus on success and high performance?

Yeah, and we actually share share a publishers. Who's awesome, Leslie Yes? And your books success aious? So why the focus? And you've got a podcast called High Performance People? Why the focus on success and high performance?

Because what I've discovered, especially over the last couple of years, but it really has come into a massive focus when this whole book writing process came into being. I've written the podcast as well. I've really discovered that the majority of the world really has a problem with the whole concept and feeling of success because it's not I don't blame social media. I blame the way in which humans are using social media in the way that this human highlight reel. But it's it's really created a chasm between the haves and the perceived have nots, and the perception of success is becoming so bastardized, for want of a better word, to the point where someone needs to try and simplify all of this for people, right, And that's what I've decided to try and take on. Whenever you look at things like personal development and professional development courses and all these things, you know you get rich quick courses and all that sort of jazz that you see banding around all the time, and even when you look at some incredible literature, like you know, really world renowned literature. You know your for hour work weeks, your atomic habits, all those sorts of things, all those books, all your Tony Robins stuff. For a lot of people, they get inspired for a very short period of time and then they just sort of drift back to the norm. And I don't think that it's necessarily their fault. I feel that the information hasn't been made to feel relatable enough two individuals, or if you're looking at it the other way, I don't feel that individuals have been given the the knowledge and the awareness and the artillery to be able to consume any personal development information in a way that befits their life. So this success curious book that I put together, which was harder than climbing a mountain for someone who is riddled with ADHD, that was so difficult, and god knows how you're doing it with a PhD. I have no idea. I just feel that because at first I was always trying to be a thought leader, this whole thought and being in this notion of being a thought leader. Man, it used to do my head in because I'm like, I believe that I'm intelligent and believe I believe that I can simplify things in a really good way for people that they can understand and consume. But I had no original ideas, like the ideas that I came up with. It was a little bit like there's a million people that came up with Uber before Uber came up with Uber, right, and I was one of them, And it used to put a chip on my shoulder where now I've discovered my purpose for being on this planet is not to be the person that sings a brand new idea from the rooftops, because I haven't got enough of an ego to be able to do that. But I'm the guy that's got enough brain power to be able to make it feasible for people to understand.

Because what I've discovered, especially over the last couple of years, but it really has come into a massive focus when this whole book writing process came into being. I've written the podcast as well. I've really discovered that the majority of the world really has a problem with the whole concept and feeling of success because it's not I don't blame social media. I blame the way in which humans are using social media in the way that this human highlight reel. But it's it's really created a chasm between the haves and the perceived have nots, and the perception of success is becoming so bastardized, for want of a better word, to the point where someone needs to try and simplify all of this for people, right, And that's what I've decided to try and take on. Whenever you look at things like personal development and professional development courses and all these things, you know you get rich quick courses and all that sort of jazz that you see banding around all the time, and even when you look at some incredible literature, like you know, really world renowned literature. You know your for hour work weeks, your atomic habits, all those sorts of things, all those books, all your Tony Robins stuff. For a lot of people, they get inspired for a very short period of time and then they just sort of drift back to the norm. And I don't think that it's necessarily their fault. I feel that the information hasn't been made to feel relatable enough two individuals, or if you're looking at it the other way, I don't feel that individuals have been given the the knowledge and the awareness and the artillery to be able to consume any personal development information in a way that befits their life. So this success curious book that I put together, which was harder than climbing a mountain for someone who is riddled with ADHD, that was so difficult, and god knows how you're doing it with a PhD. I have no idea. I just feel that because at first I was always trying to be a thought leader, this whole thought and being in this notion of being a thought leader. Man, it used to do my head in because I'm like, I believe that I'm intelligent and believe I believe that I can simplify things in a really good way for people that they can understand and consume. But I had no original ideas, like the ideas that I came up with. It was a little bit like there's a million people that came up with Uber before Uber came up with Uber, right, and I was one of them, And it used to put a chip on my shoulder where now I've discovered my purpose for being on this planet is not to be the person that sings a brand new idea from the rooftops, because I haven't got enough of an ego to be able to do that. But I'm the guy that's got enough brain power to be able to make it feasible for people to understand.

That's a very interesting that you say that, right, because I am I call myself a pro academic, which means.

That's a very interesting that you say that, right, because I am I call myself a pro academic, which means.

That I like to read all.

That I like to read all.

The geeky academic research and then turn it into tools and solutions that normal people can use on a daily basis. And my space just happens to be around the resilience and hardiness and well being space, right, But very interesting some of your observations because you know that whole drive to be a thought leader and to come up with original stuff, right. But then you realize that a lot of the in inverted commas thought leaders are just reparroting other people's stuff and often.

The geeky academic research and then turn it into tools and solutions that normal people can use on a daily basis. And my space just happens to be around the resilience and hardiness and well being space, right, But very interesting some of your observations because you know that whole drive to be a thought leader and to come up with original stuff, right. But then you realize that a lot of the in inverted commas thought leaders are just reparroting other people's stuff and often.

Not crediting them with it right time.

Not crediting them with it right time.

And that pisss me off because I will always reference people in my talks. You know, part part of that is having that academic background where you say this person and then you interpret it right.

And that pisss me off because I will always reference people in my talks. You know, part part of that is having that academic background where you say this person and then you interpret it right.

But the amount of people are particularly influencers.

But the amount of people are particularly influencers.

In my space that I see talking about concepts that are clearly from someone else, but having complete ownership of those concepts is just.

In my space that I see talking about concepts that are clearly from someone else, but having complete ownership of those concepts is just.

And it really infuriates because I'm like, you've just.

And it really infuriates because I'm like, you've just.

Ripped that person right off, given them no credit whatsoever, and you're building yourself up.

Ripped that person right off, given them no credit whatsoever, and you're building yourself up.

On a lie.

On a lie.

Oh it's mad man. And you could take it a couple of steps further and argue that the poor ancient Greek stoics and philosophers would be turning in their graves if they saw how many people were commoditizing their their stuff, right, like realistically, right, you look at your Aristotles, your Plato's, your senecas and all those all those insanely intelligent minds that that are just being translated and put into something that's got some sexy packaging around it and then and then fed out there for the masses to consume. You know, it's just I couldn't agree with you more. I'm I and I don't. I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't do it intentionally at first. It was just something that I did. I just like to give people their their their their flowers right to quote a modern day sort of parlance, like Rick Rushton, who's one of my mentors. It was one of my He was my original mentor. Like I talk about him in the book more, he's you know, I talk about some of my stories and he's the second he's like the second most mentioned person in my book because of what he's taught me. And I know and when he's taught me. He's been telling me about the fact that Jim Roan was him his mental right, yeh. And he quote any and he references Jim Ron's stuff and he always credits you back to Jim Ron. So I guess he's sort of conditioned me to do that. And I refer to myself as one of his disciples, right, you know, And I'm happy to be. I'm happy to be because realistically, man, is there's could you argue that there's no such thing as an original idea? Could you argue.

Oh it's mad man. And you could take it a couple of steps further and argue that the poor ancient Greek stoics and philosophers would be turning in their graves if they saw how many people were commoditizing their their stuff, right, like realistically, right, you look at your Aristotles, your Plato's, your senecas and all those all those insanely intelligent minds that that are just being translated and put into something that's got some sexy packaging around it and then and then fed out there for the masses to consume. You know, it's just I couldn't agree with you more. I'm I and I don't. I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't do it intentionally at first. It was just something that I did. I just like to give people their their their their flowers right to quote a modern day sort of parlance, like Rick Rushton, who's one of my mentors. It was one of my He was my original mentor. Like I talk about him in the book more, he's you know, I talk about some of my stories and he's the second he's like the second most mentioned person in my book because of what he's taught me. And I know and when he's taught me. He's been telling me about the fact that Jim Roan was him his mental right, yeh. And he quote any and he references Jim Ron's stuff and he always credits you back to Jim Ron. So I guess he's sort of conditioned me to do that. And I refer to myself as one of his disciples, right, you know, And I'm happy to be. I'm happy to be because realistically, man, is there's could you argue that there's no such thing as an original idea? Could you argue.

That, yeah, that that is that is that is a very interesting concept, right, because that there's so much stuff that people come up with that has been thought about before.

That, yeah, that that is that is that is a very interesting concept, right, because that there's so much stuff that people come up with that has been thought about before.

Because and and you know.

Because and and you know.

Particularly in that spiace of psychology and psychology well being, that whole space, like you know, people can up with stuff. Actually, cognitive behavior therapy to to take a point, right, which is one of the third way of therapies, and and and and a pretty successful one.

Particularly in that spiace of psychology and psychology well being, that whole space, like you know, people can up with stuff. Actually, cognitive behavior therapy to to take a point, right, which is one of the third way of therapies, and and and and a pretty successful one.

But when you look at the.

But when you look at the.

Origins of cognitive behavior therapy, it was created by Ellison Beck in the fifties and the sixties, and a lot of it was based on Stoic philosophy, right, historics popping up again but again not credited to the Stoics, right, which is the little thing that annoys me. But that that's let's circle back.

Origins of cognitive behavior therapy, it was created by Ellison Beck in the fifties and the sixties, and a lot of it was based on Stoic philosophy, right, historics popping up again but again not credited to the Stoics, right, which is the little thing that annoys me. But that that's let's circle back.

Into your your book.

Into your your book.

And so with that success curious, is there anything I'm sure there are lots of things, right, but the stuff that you have noticed consistent traits of successful people or or our habits or behaviors that seem to be reasonably consistent that normal human beings can take can run with.

And so with that success curious, is there anything I'm sure there are lots of things, right, but the stuff that you have noticed consistent traits of successful people or or our habits or behaviors that seem to be reasonably consistent that normal human beings can take can run with.

Well. The serial box answer for that is consistency and hard work and all those sorts of Like I said, I refer to a serial box words you get a free gift in a box of cereal, right, And it's generally one of them. The one the one trait that screams out to me, and it's been a lot of the time it's been with the podcast as well, is that successful human beings they know who they are, like to their DNA like, they know exactly who they are, and they are comfortable with who they are. Right. And it kind of relates to something a theory that I love, I fell in love with when I did some research around it for the book. It's called Self Determination Theory.

Well. The serial box answer for that is consistency and hard work and all those sorts of Like I said, I refer to a serial box words you get a free gift in a box of cereal, right, And it's generally one of them. The one the one trait that screams out to me, and it's been a lot of the time it's been with the podcast as well, is that successful human beings they know who they are, like to their DNA like, they know exactly who they are, and they are comfortable with who they are. Right. And it kind of relates to something a theory that I love, I fell in love with when I did some research around it for the book. It's called Self Determination Theory.

AH by Jackie and Ryan. The second the second guest my podcast was Professor Richard Ryant, and I made I kid you not, and I disclosed on her that I have a man crush on him. So much stuff about self determination theory has massively influenced.

AH by Jackie and Ryan. The second the second guest my podcast was Professor Richard Ryant, and I made I kid you not, and I disclosed on her that I have a man crush on him. So much stuff about self determination theory has massively influenced.

And me personally.

And me personally.

But a lot of the work that I do with with with people that's just a little little aside, right, Yeah, and brilliant, absolutely brilliant. I was very sorry, lucky to do a four hour workshop with him and and managed to get a photograph with him afterwards, which in very per but he was he was great on the podcast.

But a lot of the work that I do with with with people that's just a little little aside, right, Yeah, and brilliant, absolutely brilliant. I was very sorry, lucky to do a four hour workshop with him and and managed to get a photograph with him afterwards, which in very per but he was he was great on the podcast.

That is so very happy to come on the podcast.

That is so very happy to come on the podcast.

That is so cool. Well, So, the way that I've sort of related it to or interpreted interpreted it to the people that I've met, is that the autonomy piece and the competence piece are pretty straightforward. It's that word element. It's that relatedness that a lot of people, as far as what I can see, have really really can't manage to get. They don't manage to achieve, they don't manage to understand and realize, right because I think that and I think a lot of it is to do with the fact that the world has become so noisy, that people are being influenced by all sorts of different things so much of the time. And you could, and it's becoming so apparent now that your gen zs and your gen alphers they're really struggling to discover their own identity because there's so much noise that they're not being not able to create the space around themselves to figure out who the hell they are and and a lot of that boils down to the fact that people talk about values and nauseum, and you see it especially in a corporate in the corporate landscape where like I said, values are seen as sales pictures as opposed to DNA understanding as to who one is and how one rolls. And I feel that the people that are a genuinely successful they are successful because of the fact that they know to the core who the hell they are. And I think.

That is so cool. Well, So, the way that I've sort of related it to or interpreted interpreted it to the people that I've met, is that the autonomy piece and the competence piece are pretty straightforward. It's that word element. It's that relatedness that a lot of people, as far as what I can see, have really really can't manage to get. They don't manage to achieve, they don't manage to understand and realize, right because I think that and I think a lot of it is to do with the fact that the world has become so noisy, that people are being influenced by all sorts of different things so much of the time. And you could, and it's becoming so apparent now that your gen zs and your gen alphers they're really struggling to discover their own identity because there's so much noise that they're not being not able to create the space around themselves to figure out who the hell they are and and a lot of that boils down to the fact that people talk about values and nauseum, and you see it especially in a corporate in the corporate landscape where like I said, values are seen as sales pictures as opposed to DNA understanding as to who one is and how one rolls. And I feel that the people that are a genuinely successful they are successful because of the fact that they know to the core who the hell they are. And I think.

The word that jumps into my mind when you were talking about that is authenticity. And I think people can smell authenticity, and they can smell when people are being inauthentic.

The word that jumps into my mind when you were talking about that is authenticity. And I think people can smell authenticity, and they can smell when people are being inauthentic.

After sometimes after a while. Yeah, but but I do.

After sometimes after a while. Yeah, but but I do.

Agree with you that those the people who are really successful like they are authentic. They know who they are and they behear in a way that's consistent.

Agree with you that those the people who are really successful like they are authentic. They know who they are and they behear in a way that's consistent.

Yeah, but you said that, you said that you can smell authenticity. I personally feel that that that term has been completely ripped to shreds by the by the corporate landscape, and because a lot of people have now turned that into something that they sell, like, if you are authentic, then by definition, you should not need to sell it. It's a bit like in a sales analogy, right, It's a bit like the challenge between confidence and convincing. Right, So if you're not being authentic, then you feel that you have to convince people of who you are, what you're about, your wares, if you're selling or whatever. I actually said this in a talk yesterday in Adelaide that I actually believe that if you are confident in who you are, right ergo authentic in who you are, then you should never need to convince anyone about anything, because it just is is a statement of fact, right And in the real estate space, which is inherently one of the least trusted professions in the world, right, you know, and by reputation, one of the least authentic, I actually found it to be very very easy because I didn't have to make an excuse as to who I was. I was who I was, and just by doing that, and again it wasn't by any any major level of intention. I just did it because it seemed to work, and people couldn't question me because it was just so obvious that I was just being who I was who I was, and I happened to have the information that helped people to make big steps, make a step forward.

Yeah, but you said that, you said that you can smell authenticity. I personally feel that that that term has been completely ripped to shreds by the by the corporate landscape, and because a lot of people have now turned that into something that they sell, like, if you are authentic, then by definition, you should not need to sell it. It's a bit like in a sales analogy, right, It's a bit like the challenge between confidence and convincing. Right, So if you're not being authentic, then you feel that you have to convince people of who you are, what you're about, your wares, if you're selling or whatever. I actually said this in a talk yesterday in Adelaide that I actually believe that if you are confident in who you are, right ergo authentic in who you are, then you should never need to convince anyone about anything, because it just is is a statement of fact, right And in the real estate space, which is inherently one of the least trusted professions in the world, right, you know, and by reputation, one of the least authentic, I actually found it to be very very easy because I didn't have to make an excuse as to who I was. I was who I was, and just by doing that, and again it wasn't by any any major level of intention. I just did it because it seemed to work, and people couldn't question me because it was just so obvious that I was just being who I was who I was, and I happened to have the information that helped people to make big steps, make a step forward.

Right, And I think that that plays into relatedness, right, I'll see that that that and especially I think in any seals environment, people who naturally relate to others and can build relationships and rapport with others naturally tend to do very very well in seals environments because it's not forced. It's it's it is more it's authentic rather than than forced or or are are created. And again you can fucking smell like you know what I love is when I'm talking to you, and I've done this with real estate agents and other seals people, is that I'll just notice that they're starting to mimic my and then I and then I'll start to funk around with it.

Right, And I think that that plays into relatedness, right, I'll see that that that and especially I think in any seals environment, people who naturally relate to others and can build relationships and rapport with others naturally tend to do very very well in seals environments because it's not forced. It's it's it is more it's authentic rather than than forced or or are are created. And again you can fucking smell like you know what I love is when I'm talking to you, and I've done this with real estate agents and other seals people, is that I'll just notice that they're starting to mimic my and then I and then I'll start to funk around with it.

Stop and stuff.

Stop and stuff.

I'll sort of cross my arms and then stand a certain.

I'll sort of cross my arms and then stand a certain.

Way and then just then do and then moving and.

Way and then just then do and then moving and.

I'm just thinking, you fucking you, honestly, that's just a complete misunderstanding of of of basically CBT all right and and and n LP.

I'm just thinking, you fucking you, honestly, that's just a complete misunderstanding of of of basically CBT all right and and and n LP.

It just yeah, they learn it, like like I said, they learn it off a back of a cereal box and think that that's correct, and without really understanding what it's about. And and and that's and the and the problem is when it comes to sales based industry is that because unfortunately or fortunately unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, the one true barometer for success is financial gain, right, it's commissioned, right. That's the only realistic barometer for success in a sales BUSI is ultimately I'll be sold enough, right. And for a lot of people that creates so much fear that they fear being who they are because if they are who they are, then they're concerned that people are going to judge them for who they are and as a result of that not give them the business. It was really interesting when COVID. I hate referring back to it, but it's a really significant point when we think about how our identities are attached to our jobs and our roles. When the lockdown officially started or officially kicked into gear, I was on the phone till like three am with real estate agents who until that point you would have thought they were made a teflon rights. Nothing stuck right. There were smooth as silk, and they were calling me in a panic because all of a sudden, they had their identities ripped away from them, and it made it very very It made a very very interesting dynamic out of nowhere where all of a sudden, everyone's going, shit, I don't know who I am, and it was really interesting. So and that sort of actually that's where the idea of the book actually started. The seed was planted at three, you know, in that sort of two three am in the morning, when I'm having this conversation constantly with agent after agent after agent saying Andy, like, what do we do? How do we And it wasn't a case of what do we do in terms of logistics, it was like what do I do with myself? What am I supposed to like? And it was just so weird some of these people that you'd thought were emotion less that were crying down the phone, right, very very strange, very very strange. So yeah, so that's that's essentially some elements of the book that I really sort of like to dig into, and what I've discovered having written it is because of where I like to see myself, you know, much like much like yourself in the work that you do. It's been the books that it's been really cool the books sort of being described as the is the precursor to any personal development that anyone wants to do, and it sort of gives people that extra degree of a foundation that allows them to actually understand who the hell they are before they go womening into any of this personal development stuff.

It just yeah, they learn it, like like I said, they learn it off a back of a cereal box and think that that's correct, and without really understanding what it's about. And and and that's and the and the problem is when it comes to sales based industry is that because unfortunately or fortunately unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, the one true barometer for success is financial gain, right, it's commissioned, right. That's the only realistic barometer for success in a sales BUSI is ultimately I'll be sold enough, right. And for a lot of people that creates so much fear that they fear being who they are because if they are who they are, then they're concerned that people are going to judge them for who they are and as a result of that not give them the business. It was really interesting when COVID. I hate referring back to it, but it's a really significant point when we think about how our identities are attached to our jobs and our roles. When the lockdown officially started or officially kicked into gear, I was on the phone till like three am with real estate agents who until that point you would have thought they were made a teflon rights. Nothing stuck right. There were smooth as silk, and they were calling me in a panic because all of a sudden, they had their identities ripped away from them, and it made it very very It made a very very interesting dynamic out of nowhere where all of a sudden, everyone's going, shit, I don't know who I am, and it was really interesting. So and that sort of actually that's where the idea of the book actually started. The seed was planted at three, you know, in that sort of two three am in the morning, when I'm having this conversation constantly with agent after agent after agent saying Andy, like, what do we do? How do we And it wasn't a case of what do we do in terms of logistics, it was like what do I do with myself? What am I supposed to like? And it was just so weird some of these people that you'd thought were emotion less that were crying down the phone, right, very very strange, very very strange. So yeah, so that's that's essentially some elements of the book that I really sort of like to dig into, and what I've discovered having written it is because of where I like to see myself, you know, much like much like yourself in the work that you do. It's been the books that it's been really cool the books sort of being described as the is the precursor to any personal development that anyone wants to do, and it sort of gives people that extra degree of a foundation that allows them to actually understand who the hell they are before they go womening into any of this personal development stuff.

That I'm going to take this conversation in a way and a place that I didn't think that I was going to take this conversation. Right well, I'm going to talk about religion right nice, nice, with the backdrop of I am a self confessed recovering Catholic. It's been in recovery for thirty years and forty years actually, I've been in recovery. But and I'm not a fan of religion. Actually, let me qualify that I'm not a fan of religious institutions.

That I'm going to take this conversation in a way and a place that I didn't think that I was going to take this conversation. Right well, I'm going to talk about religion right nice, nice, with the backdrop of I am a self confessed recovering Catholic. It's been in recovery for thirty years and forty years actually, I've been in recovery. But and I'm not a fan of religion. Actually, let me qualify that I'm not a fan of religious institutions.

Okay, but.

Okay, but.

I would say, and I've been thinking about this more and more, and this existential vacuum that seems to be accelerating around us and with people with loss of meaning and purpose, and and just doing a number of workshops in the last couple of weeks and and on the topic of meaning and purpose and asking people you know.

I would say, and I've been thinking about this more and more, and this existential vacuum that seems to be accelerating around us and with people with loss of meaning and purpose, and and just doing a number of workshops in the last couple of weeks and and on the topic of meaning and purpose and asking people you know.

Who has a clearly defined sense.

Who has a clearly defined sense.

Of meaning and purpose in their lives, and just how little hands actually go up.

Of meaning and purpose in their lives, and just how little hands actually go up.

I actually think.

I actually think.

And then again, this is not my idea, but I can't I can't remember where I read it, but it was quite recently, and I actually agree with it that the breakdown of religion has actually caused this existential vacuum. And so let's let me add some color to that. And what I mean by that is that you know, when you were a kid, I don't know if you went to church at all, whether the real but I remember I remember going to church, right, and you know you'd sit and listen to the gospel or whatever it may be, whatever your church is. But what all organized religions do is there's a number of things.

And then again, this is not my idea, but I can't I can't remember where I read it, but it was quite recently, and I actually agree with it that the breakdown of religion has actually caused this existential vacuum. And so let's let me add some color to that. And what I mean by that is that you know, when you were a kid, I don't know if you went to church at all, whether the real but I remember I remember going to church, right, and you know you'd sit and listen to the gospel or whatever it may be, whatever your church is. But what all organized religions do is there's a number of things.

It's the number one.

It's the number one.

They give a sense of hope, right, But they also give a set of values for people and a guide for how to behave and a sense of collective identity which can be very very powerful.

They give a sense of hope, right, But they also give a set of values for people and a guide for how to behave and a sense of collective identity which can be very very powerful.

Right.

Right.

And my my younger brother is still religious, and it's that that is actually drawing them in not so much, and.

And my my younger brother is still religious, and it's that that is actually drawing them in not so much, and.

Some people will will will talk about that.

Some people will will will talk about that.

But when you take that away, when people are a there's a fir amount, particularly with Casolicism, of fear and brimstone and all that sort of stuff.

But when you take that away, when people are a there's a fir amount, particularly with Casolicism, of fear and brimstone and all that sort of stuff.

But let's let's let's keep that out of it.

But let's let's let's keep that out of it.

Let's let's keep it. Let's let's not go that heavy with all that carry on. Let's start talk apocalypse any time.

Let's let's keep it. Let's let's not go that heavy with all that carry on. Let's start talk apocalypse any time.

But for me, the positives of any organized religion are that sense of collective identity and giving people's values for how to behave right and and then that people then will tend to behave.

But for me, the positives of any organized religion are that sense of collective identity and giving people's values for how to behave right and and then that people then will tend to behave.

Like that, a lot of them.

Like that, a lot of them.

And but then you take that away, and what that does is that's created an existential vacuum that people now have to do the work to think about who am I, what sort of a person do I want to be?

And but then you take that away, and what that does is that's created an existential vacuum that people now have to do the work to think about who am I, what sort of a person do I want to be?

What are my values? What do I want to be known for? And and just with the work that I do.

What are my values? What do I want to be known for? And and just with the work that I do.

There's so many people who those questions are actually quite foreign to them. They actually haven't sat down and given that any thought. And then sorry, and I will throw over to you to then play it back to social media. In that existential vacuum, people get hooked into.

There's so many people who those questions are actually quite foreign to them. They actually haven't sat down and given that any thought. And then sorry, and I will throw over to you to then play it back to social media. In that existential vacuum, people get hooked into.

These sets of values.

These sets of values.

Whether actually see this playing out the United States Republicans versus Democrats, and we see a lot of young men and nigh being sucked into the world of Andrew Tit and stuff like that because they don't have that other sense of identity. And then they get sucked in, and then they get given a set of values and through osmosis, almost through social media and the echo chamber.

Whether actually see this playing out the United States Republicans versus Democrats, and we see a lot of young men and nigh being sucked into the world of Andrew Tit and stuff like that because they don't have that other sense of identity. And then they get sucked in, and then they get given a set of values and through osmosis, almost through social media and the echo chamber.

Commentary on that.

Commentary on that.

It is such a good topic. I love this, So I'll start with a little story. So my daughter who's ten and is scarily emotionally intelligent for ten, right, and as a single dad, it does make me nervous for various reasons. And she asked me one time because there were she goes to a Christian school and she but she's really into science. She likes asking me stuff about space and all the sub jobs, right, And she goes, dad, you know, and I say yeah. She goes, you know, at the Big Bank, we were talking about the Big Bang theory and I'm like yeah, and you go. She goes, so was it the Big Bang theory that created the Earth? Or was it God? Right? And I went that' said bloody interesting question, that kid, And I said, and I love having these conversations. She's amazing. It's such a good human And I said, well, realistically, Darling, it all boils down to the word faith, and she goes, what do you mean? And I said, because whether it is God that you have faith in, or whether it is science that you have faith in, Ultimately, every sort of belief system, whether it's science, religion, whatever, it all starts with an element of faith. Right. Science has had has got proof to a certain point. But then ultimately all proof is formed on theory, right or for you know, and in order to form a theory, you have to have faith in something before you can form a theory, right so.

It is such a good topic. I love this, So I'll start with a little story. So my daughter who's ten and is scarily emotionally intelligent for ten, right, and as a single dad, it does make me nervous for various reasons. And she asked me one time because there were she goes to a Christian school and she but she's really into science. She likes asking me stuff about space and all the sub jobs, right, And she goes, dad, you know, and I say yeah. She goes, you know, at the Big Bank, we were talking about the Big Bang theory and I'm like yeah, and you go. She goes, so was it the Big Bang theory that created the Earth? Or was it God? Right? And I went that' said bloody interesting question, that kid, And I said, and I love having these conversations. She's amazing. It's such a good human And I said, well, realistically, Darling, it all boils down to the word faith, and she goes, what do you mean? And I said, because whether it is God that you have faith in, or whether it is science that you have faith in, Ultimately, every sort of belief system, whether it's science, religion, whatever, it all starts with an element of faith. Right. Science has had has got proof to a certain point. But then ultimately all proof is formed on theory, right or for you know, and in order to form a theory, you have to have faith in something before you can form a theory, right so.

And and with science, proof is not absolute. There's confidence levels.

And and with science, proof is not absolute. There's confidence levels.

Exactly how many, how many, how many things did did did? Did we believe in until it was proved otherwise? Right, you know? So so everything, So I said, look at irrespective whether you whether you go down science track or whether you go down the Bible track, or whatever the case may be. Ultimately, the amazing, the beautiful thing is is that you get to select your own faith, what your what you your faith is. But the one of the things that makes us inherently human is the ability to have faith in something whatever that whatever that thing may be. Now well, when you talk about lack of identity and lack of purpose, the example that I've been giving has been there's been an increasing volume of protests going on in the world, right, and take the Palestine protests. Now, I am confident and I am hopeful, and I have optimism in society that a lot of people that do these protests are all very very well intentioned, right. But because they've, like you said, because they've really struggled to form their own identity, they are hooking themselves into the identity of being part of a pack, right, which is an inherently human thing. And like I said, I'd like to think that they've all got the best intentions for it. However, if you were to take a map of the world into a group of Palestinian protesters and ask them to point out where Palestine is on a map, they couldn't tell you. They would not be able to tell you where the gaza strip is on a world map, right. And And my point I'm making with that is the fact that, like you said, we as leaders, as people, not thought leaders, but as people that are comfortable enough to own their universe and own who they are and own their position in the world and what have you and their map of the world, we have a real responsibility a massive level of accountability to help people to understand their own identity in the world. And if we don't, and if we just accept that people are who they are, then we've only got ourselves to blame really as leaders. Now you can say that you can't change the world as one person, You're right, But there are enough people that do know and own who they are to be able to make some sort of a dent in the way that the world's going. But the problem is the fact that at the minute, a lot of us, if we're being honest, we're really sitting on the sidelines because ultimately we are human beings, and we see people that do try and make a difference get shot down via a million you know, Andrew Tates supporters who are all up for toxic masculinity and all that sort of jazz, right, you know, all the big loud, shouty people. Yeah, And I just feel that, like your kids are the best teachers sometimes. And when Eliza was questioning that, and I mentioned the fact that you get to pick your faith. As long as you've got faith in something, you'll be sweet as are not right whatever that faith is, and she's just sat back in a chair because we're in the car and the way back from school, and she just sat back in a chair and she went, hmmm, so, so I can believe in God and science And I went, of course she can. Of course she can. And that's the beautiful thing about being human is the fact that you can. You don't have to. Yes, religion has helped people to stay on the straight and narrow, depending on your map of the world, right, because there's certain religions that people think send you down the wrong path and depending on your orientation. But in a world that has got so much noise and so much choice, and I think we're paralyzed by choice these days, right, Whereas back in the day, yeah, the Good Book and that was about oh yeah, right, because you didn't have TVs and stuff. So I think that as long as I think that the topic of faith needs to be discussed, but it needs to be discussed in a holistic way where it's not just religious text. Yeah it makes sense.

Exactly how many, how many, how many things did did did? Did we believe in until it was proved otherwise? Right, you know? So so everything, So I said, look at irrespective whether you whether you go down science track or whether you go down the Bible track, or whatever the case may be. Ultimately, the amazing, the beautiful thing is is that you get to select your own faith, what your what you your faith is. But the one of the things that makes us inherently human is the ability to have faith in something whatever that whatever that thing may be. Now well, when you talk about lack of identity and lack of purpose, the example that I've been giving has been there's been an increasing volume of protests going on in the world, right, and take the Palestine protests. Now, I am confident and I am hopeful, and I have optimism in society that a lot of people that do these protests are all very very well intentioned, right. But because they've, like you said, because they've really struggled to form their own identity, they are hooking themselves into the identity of being part of a pack, right, which is an inherently human thing. And like I said, I'd like to think that they've all got the best intentions for it. However, if you were to take a map of the world into a group of Palestinian protesters and ask them to point out where Palestine is on a map, they couldn't tell you. They would not be able to tell you where the gaza strip is on a world map, right. And And my point I'm making with that is the fact that, like you said, we as leaders, as people, not thought leaders, but as people that are comfortable enough to own their universe and own who they are and own their position in the world and what have you and their map of the world, we have a real responsibility a massive level of accountability to help people to understand their own identity in the world. And if we don't, and if we just accept that people are who they are, then we've only got ourselves to blame really as leaders. Now you can say that you can't change the world as one person, You're right, But there are enough people that do know and own who they are to be able to make some sort of a dent in the way that the world's going. But the problem is the fact that at the minute, a lot of us, if we're being honest, we're really sitting on the sidelines because ultimately we are human beings, and we see people that do try and make a difference get shot down via a million you know, Andrew Tates supporters who are all up for toxic masculinity and all that sort of jazz, right, you know, all the big loud, shouty people. Yeah, And I just feel that, like your kids are the best teachers sometimes. And when Eliza was questioning that, and I mentioned the fact that you get to pick your faith. As long as you've got faith in something, you'll be sweet as are not right whatever that faith is, and she's just sat back in a chair because we're in the car and the way back from school, and she just sat back in a chair and she went, hmmm, so, so I can believe in God and science And I went, of course she can. Of course she can. And that's the beautiful thing about being human is the fact that you can. You don't have to. Yes, religion has helped people to stay on the straight and narrow, depending on your map of the world, right, because there's certain religions that people think send you down the wrong path and depending on your orientation. But in a world that has got so much noise and so much choice, and I think we're paralyzed by choice these days, right, Whereas back in the day, yeah, the Good Book and that was about oh yeah, right, because you didn't have TVs and stuff. So I think that as long as I think that the topic of faith needs to be discussed, but it needs to be discussed in a holistic way where it's not just religious text. Yeah it makes sense.

No, No, I totally agree, and that that you can do this and this right. So, just to come back to and we're walking a political type route here, but the whole Palestine thing, it's really interesting because I make a point of when I read read the news or go online, I will go on to The Australian, which is quite right wing, and I will then go on to the Guardian, which is left wing, and I always do that right and I'll be on CNN, I'll go to the algaze Era or.

No, No, I totally agree, and that that you can do this and this right. So, just to come back to and we're walking a political type route here, but the whole Palestine thing, it's really interesting because I make a point of when I read read the news or go online, I will go on to The Australian, which is quite right wing, and I will then go on to the Guardian, which is left wing, and I always do that right and I'll be on CNN, I'll go to the algaze Era or.

Go to Fox News just to fucking see how different the world is.

Go to Fox News just to fucking see how different the world is.

Oh yeah, But for me it's like you read the Australian or Guarantee you you go back almost every single day there's something about anti Semitism, and.

Oh yeah, But for me it's like you read the Australian or Guarantee you you go back almost every single day there's something about anti Semitism, and.

Then you go on to the Guardian and almost every single day it's about what's happening to the Palestinians. When did it ever become that your political leanings determined which group that you could have empathy for. Why can't we go fucking hell those attacks that have master did were horrendous and have massive empathy for them, and at the same time have massive empathy for the Palestinian people and all the suffering that's actually happening.

Then you go on to the Guardian and almost every single day it's about what's happening to the Palestinians. When did it ever become that your political leanings determined which group that you could have empathy for. Why can't we go fucking hell those attacks that have master did were horrendous and have massive empathy for them, and at the same time have massive empathy for the Palestinian people and all the suffering that's actually happening.

Because of that, Like what why? Is everything?

Because of that, Like what why? Is everything?

And this is my point about the world, with that existential vacuum and with social media and becoming more and more polarized around this that it almost has to be Hey, if this is your political leaning, this is what you have to believe, right, Yeah, if you're in the United States and you're a Republican, you have to believe that you shouldn't be supporting the Ukraine War and that all of a sudden, fucking Putin is not the horrendous fucking.

And this is my point about the world, with that existential vacuum and with social media and becoming more and more polarized around this that it almost has to be Hey, if this is your political leaning, this is what you have to believe, right, Yeah, if you're in the United States and you're a Republican, you have to believe that you shouldn't be supporting the Ukraine War and that all of a sudden, fucking Putin is not the horrendous fucking.

Individual that he is.

Individual that he is.

Yeah, man, but it's just for me.

Yeah, man, but it's just for me.

And but it comes back to this conversation that you were talking about about knowing thyself, and you know was unscribed in the article at Delphi know thyself, right, Yeah, that's the biggest thing. So in your book, Ard, the stuff that you've come across, what are some tips that you think that people could do for that self exploration.

And but it comes back to this conversation that you were talking about about knowing thyself, and you know was unscribed in the article at Delphi know thyself, right, Yeah, that's the biggest thing. So in your book, Ard, the stuff that you've come across, what are some tips that you think that people could do for that self exploration.

To know thyself.

To know thyself.

One of the first things that we should do that I that worked really well for me was when I had a bit of an identity crisis. It was a couple of days after my old man passed away, and I did an exercise around values right where there was like a huge, huge, however, many hundreds of values and it took me hours to wild it down to sort of three or four. I whiled it down to three, and and every time every round your job is to cut out half of the values that are on that list, right, and and and and the three that I said beforehand, the ones that I had involved things like ambition and determination and all this sort of crap. The three that I came up with when I was in a very vulnerable space, having just lost my old man. We're connection, fun and simplicity, right, which is not very corporate. Now. The thing that I've been saying to people is if is that if you if, if you put your values on a on a line on a bit of paper, and the exercise that you need to do that I think works quite well is put your values on one line and then put five or so other sets of values on lines above them below and go a bit usual suspects, right, and go to your loved ones and see if they can pick out who you Which one is you? Right?

One of the first things that we should do that I that worked really well for me was when I had a bit of an identity crisis. It was a couple of days after my old man passed away, and I did an exercise around values right where there was like a huge, huge, however, many hundreds of values and it took me hours to wild it down to sort of three or four. I whiled it down to three, and and every time every round your job is to cut out half of the values that are on that list, right, and and and and the three that I said beforehand, the ones that I had involved things like ambition and determination and all this sort of crap. The three that I came up with when I was in a very vulnerable space, having just lost my old man. We're connection, fun and simplicity, right, which is not very corporate. Now. The thing that I've been saying to people is if is that if you if, if you put your values on a on a line on a bit of paper, and the exercise that you need to do that I think works quite well is put your values on one line and then put five or so other sets of values on lines above them below and go a bit usual suspects, right, and go to your loved ones and see if they can pick out who you Which one is you? Right?

Ah? Nice? Okay?

Ah? Nice? Okay?

Because if you because if you do that, if you do that, and and and you love ones, the people that truly know who you are can't pick you out, then you've got a question whether they're your values.

Because if you because if you do that, if you do that, and and and you love ones, the people that truly know who you are can't pick you out, then you've got a question whether they're your values.

Yeah, or whether they're just things that you would like to have exactly.

Yeah, or whether they're just things that you would like to have exactly.

There, yeah, exactly. They're the projection of where where you would love to be, But they are not who you are now.

There, yeah, exactly. They're the projection of where where you would love to be, But they are not who you are now.

Or where you think you should be. The tyranny of the Huldes.

Or where you think you should be. The tyranny of the Huldes.

So now know that we are into this existential conversation.

So now know that we are into this existential conversation.

Yes, we would have thought there's people of our accents for using the word existential seriously, like ask our old schoolmates would be like going, who are these two.

Yes, we would have thought there's people of our accents for using the word existential seriously, like ask our old schoolmates would be like going, who are these two.

Faster?

Faster?

Come on?

Come on?

That'd be going, what the fuck are you on about?

That'd be going, what the fuck are you on about?

Yeah? Stop talking? Stop talking so foreign, I'm speaking English please.

Yeah? Stop talking? Stop talking so foreign, I'm speaking English please.

But anyway, So, the ultimate existential question I'm going to throw at you, and I know you talked about this in your book, is why do you exist?

But anyway, So, the ultimate existential question I'm going to throw at you, and I know you talked about this in your book, is why do you exist?

I exist to make success more accessible. I exist because I'm good at making things simple for people, right. I exist because I have a I have a purpose. My reason for being is my DNA is to make people feel that there that success can exist in their lives. And I know that sounds at the cold face of it, it sounds very corporate, and it sounds very white collar. The whole notion of success does feel very white collar. But success, for me is applicable to any element of your life. Right, So, for someone success might be defined by the way that their kids end up. Right. It could be defined by their parenting, you know. It could be defined by their health. It could be defined by their spirituality. Success for someone talk religion. Success for someone could be to be absolute in their behaviors around the Ten commandments for example, right, you know so? Or twelve? You know what I mean? So it's success holds so many forms. And my purpose, my reason for being, is to help people to get cool with that and to be and to actually go follow what success, how success is defined for them. No, I can't change the world, but I can change I can change the world for one person potentially. And if we were all to own who we were and to own what success looks like for us, because success, you know, from the iteration of success going back to Rome and Greece and whatnot, is the definition of the origin. The original derivative was to progress, right, And I think a lot of humans that get upset, cranky and end up kicking off is because they don't feel like they're moving forward in life. So therefore they have to make a lot of noise in order to be heard in order to move forward, whether that is through because they're feeling oppressed. Because there are people or they're a sect or whatever it is. Right, So yeah, so that's my that's my I mean, it's taken me a long time to get there. I was, I was really struggling with that for a long long time, I have to say.