Hi everyone, It's Carli and welcome back to the Paul Taylor Podcast for our weekly Mojo Monday. So today we're tackling a common mindset that many of my clients are struggling with and I have often struggled with too, and that is the all or nothing approach. So it could be about our fitness routine, or maybe our work with the projects we've got to do at work, or personal goals. And really it's a mindset that doesn't work. So let's dive into it. Let's dive into why it doesn't work and what we can do about it. So, first off, what do we mean by the all or nothing approach? So it's that black and white thinking where you're either all in or you're completely out. So, for example, if you can't go to the gym and work for an hour do anything. If you're busy and you can't make a class, you just don't do anything. If you can't finish a project perfectly, you don't even start. You start to eat healthily and you end up drinking a bottle of wine and eating chips with a friend, so you may as well just keep going. And so I'm wondering whether this sounds familiar to you. So the problem with this mindset is that there is this attitude that we should be perfect humans who never stray from our intentions and goals, and that when that happens, we're failed and we may as well give up, and as a result, we end up struggling with feelings like shame and hopelessness, and we don't end up living aligned with what's important to us. And look, we know that life is not perfect, and it's very rarely so clear cut. There are always shades of gray and unexpected hurdles to jump over, and we shouldn't expect any anything else. In fact, we do need to prepare ourselves for the hurdles so they don't take us by surprise, and then when we're confronted with them, we can pivot and we can know what course of action to take. So let's look at a few aspects of why they all or nothing approach doesn't work. So the first one is perfectionism paralysis. So when we aim for perfection, we often end up doing nothing at all because the perfect conditions are rarely met, and this can lead to procrastination and stagnation, and then it can also lead to those motions and feelings that I talked about before about shame and guilt. Then there's burnout. So going all in can be exhausting and it's also unsustainable, and this is particularly with people who are high achievers or running their own business. You know, there's this need to or this desire to push yourself too hard without any sort of flexibility, and then you're likely to burn out quickly and lose motivation. And also in this particular scenario as well, you end up sacrificing other areas of your life. There's missed opportunities. So by focusing only on the big wins or major accomplishments, we miss out on the smaller incremental progress that really adds up over time. So small steps can lead to big changes. So I'll run through some strategies that you could experiment with if you are struggling with the all or nothing bug. So the first one is to embrace your imperfect humanness, except that you are human and not everything will be perfect. I have never met a perfect human being, and I am confident that I never will. So you can choose not to listen to that perfectionistic voice in your head because it's not helping you. And that's not to say that there isn't a healthy level of perfectionism, but if you know that your perfectionism has tipped over the edge and it's not helping you, that's when you can choose whether you listen to that voice or not. The next strategy is one that I love, and that is to approach each day as day one. So if each day is day one and today didn't turn out how you wanted it to be, then tomorrow is still day one, so you can start again. And this fits in nicely with that Buddhist approach of the beginner's mind. And so often we go on these challenges. So you might go on like a fourteen day challenge or a thirty day challenge, and then at day nine you fall off the wagon and something happens and then you just go, oh, well, I've stuffed up, so I may as well just give up. So if every day is day one, then you will just approach the next day as being able to start again. So it's a really good mindset to get into to prevent you from giving up. And then the next one is practicing flexibility. And this is flexibility in our minds and flexibility in our actions because life happens and plans changed. You'll get injured, you know, last minute meetings will be scheduled, your internet will go down, the kids will be sick. So being adaptable and being open to pivoting when these situations arise. And this is where you can use the Japanese concept of urugamama, So with things as they are, what needs to be done, and this is a staunch acceptance of what has happened, even if you don't like it, and then taking that next step of like what can I do? So if you can't do a full workout, you may be able to do a few push ups, you may be able to go for a ten minute walk, you may be able to do twenty kettlebell swings. It's about doing something, So just do something, doesn't matter if it's small. It's still taking you on that path and you're still moving forward, not backwards. So the other one that just in closing is to observe your thoughts. Observe those all or nothing thoughts with a bit of curiosity. And what that can do is help you distance yourself from your thoughts so you don't get so entangled up in them and they don't take control and push you down the path that you don't want to be on. So remember your mind is always trying to problem solve, but it's often not helpful and you don't always have to do what your mind tells you. And this is why observing your thoughts with curiosity means that there's space between you and the thoughts and it gives you more control over what decisions that you make next. So the all on approach I think most of you will agree, doesn't work. So if we can embrace our imperfect humanness, practice flexibility in our minds and our actions, focus on every day being day one, and observe our thoughts with curiosity, then we can take control over our choices to keep going and make meaningful progress because life isn't all or nothing. It's about that balance and making the best of each moment. So thanks for listening. You can catch Paul this Wednesday for his weekly Wednesa Wisdom Wednesday, and I will catch you next week.

Hi everyone, It's Carli and welcome back to the Paul Taylor Podcast for our weekly Mojo Monday. So today we're tackling a common mindset that many of my clients are struggling with and I have often struggled with too, and that is the all or nothing approach. So it could be about our fitness routine, or maybe our work with the projects we've got to do at work, or personal goals. And really it's a mindset that doesn't work. So let's dive into it. Let's dive into why it doesn't work and what we can do about it. So, first off, what do we mean by the all or nothing approach? So it's that black and white thinking where you're either all in or you're completely out. So, for example, if you can't go to the gym and work for an hour do anything. If you're busy and you can't make a class, you just don't do anything. If you can't finish a project perfectly, you don't even start. You start to eat healthily and you end up drinking a bottle of wine and eating chips with a friend, so you may as well just keep going. And so I'm wondering whether this sounds familiar to you. So the problem with this mindset is that there is this attitude that we should be perfect humans who never stray from our intentions and goals, and that when that happens, we're failed and we may as well give up, and as a result, we end up struggling with feelings like shame and hopelessness, and we don't end up living aligned with what's important to us. And look, we know that life is not perfect, and it's very rarely so clear cut. There are always shades of gray and unexpected hurdles to jump over, and we shouldn't expect any anything else. In fact, we do need to prepare ourselves for the hurdles so they don't take us by surprise, and then when we're confronted with them, we can pivot and we can know what course of action to take. So let's look at a few aspects of why they all or nothing approach doesn't work. So the first one is perfectionism paralysis. So when we aim for perfection, we often end up doing nothing at all because the perfect conditions are rarely met, and this can lead to procrastination and stagnation, and then it can also lead to those motions and feelings that I talked about before about shame and guilt. Then there's burnout. So going all in can be exhausting and it's also unsustainable, and this is particularly with people who are high achievers or running their own business. You know, there's this need to or this desire to push yourself too hard without any sort of flexibility, and then you're likely to burn out quickly and lose motivation. And also in this particular scenario as well, you end up sacrificing other areas of your life. There's missed opportunities. So by focusing only on the big wins or major accomplishments, we miss out on the smaller incremental progress that really adds up over time. So small steps can lead to big changes. So I'll run through some strategies that you could experiment with if you are struggling with the all or nothing bug. So the first one is to embrace your imperfect humanness, except that you are human and not everything will be perfect. I have never met a perfect human being, and I am confident that I never will. So you can choose not to listen to that perfectionistic voice in your head because it's not helping you. And that's not to say that there isn't a healthy level of perfectionism, but if you know that your perfectionism has tipped over the edge and it's not helping you, that's when you can choose whether you listen to that voice or not. The next strategy is one that I love, and that is to approach each day as day one. So if each day is day one and today didn't turn out how you wanted it to be, then tomorrow is still day one, so you can start again. And this fits in nicely with that Buddhist approach of the beginner's mind. And so often we go on these challenges. So you might go on like a fourteen day challenge or a thirty day challenge, and then at day nine you fall off the wagon and something happens and then you just go, oh, well, I've stuffed up, so I may as well just give up. So if every day is day one, then you will just approach the next day as being able to start again. So it's a really good mindset to get into to prevent you from giving up. And then the next one is practicing flexibility. And this is flexibility in our minds and flexibility in our actions because life happens and plans changed. You'll get injured, you know, last minute meetings will be scheduled, your internet will go down, the kids will be sick. So being adaptable and being open to pivoting when these situations arise. And this is where you can use the Japanese concept of urugamama, So with things as they are, what needs to be done, and this is a staunch acceptance of what has happened, even if you don't like it, and then taking that next step of like what can I do? So if you can't do a full workout, you may be able to do a few push ups, you may be able to go for a ten minute walk, you may be able to do twenty kettlebell swings. It's about doing something, So just do something, doesn't matter if it's small. It's still taking you on that path and you're still moving forward, not backwards. So the other one that just in closing is to observe your thoughts. Observe those all or nothing thoughts with a bit of curiosity. And what that can do is help you distance yourself from your thoughts so you don't get so entangled up in them and they don't take control and push you down the path that you don't want to be on. So remember your mind is always trying to problem solve, but it's often not helpful and you don't always have to do what your mind tells you. And this is why observing your thoughts with curiosity means that there's space between you and the thoughts and it gives you more control over what decisions that you make next. So the all on approach I think most of you will agree, doesn't work. So if we can embrace our imperfect humanness, practice flexibility in our minds and our actions, focus on every day being day one, and observe our thoughts with curiosity, then we can take control over our choices to keep going and make meaningful progress because life isn't all or nothing. It's about that balance and making the best of each moment. So thanks for listening. You can catch Paul this Wednesday for his weekly Wednesa Wisdom Wednesday, and I will catch you next week.