Hi, everyone. Welcome to Mojo Monday. If you're new, I'm Karlie Taylor, so a special welcome to you. And on that note, I actually just wanted to thank you for being here. So Mojo Mondays gets around one point five thousand listeners and I'm so grateful for that. And this is very much related to the topic today because I started doing these Mojo Mondays because Paul was flat out busy with his PhD. But we continued on and I really enjoy sharing these strategies and tool for life with you because you know, we're all struggling with this roller coaster of being human and I'm a passionate believer that we all need the skills to develop our capacity to be our own coach, so we can develop our mental fitness to throw in life even when we get hit hard. So that's kind of my purpose behind these Mojo Mondays. But when I first started doing these, I didn't really feel worthy of being a podcaster. But what I did have is a lot to talk about, and I had a real passion and drive to help as many people as I could with these life skills. So the podcast really aligned with that. So instead of using my level of self worth as my compass here, I used what really mattered to me, and that was helping others. So that leads me into what we're going to talk about today, and that is about self worth. And Paul and I did when we were doing Merjo Mondays together. We did talk about self worth back in twenty twenty three, but I want to I want to talk about it again. So if you do a Google search on self worth, it comes up with things like being overly self critical, feeling unworthy, so maybe it's un worthy of love or respect of others. And it talks about our in increasing your self worth through self understanding, self love, self acceptance. And what I want to do today is expand on those And the common thread here is that it's about me and my beliefs about myself. So let's just pause here and take a moment and ask yourself right now, how do you rate your self worth across the different areas of your life? So you think about your roles in life, you know, like at work, in relationships as a friend, how worthy do you feel in each Is there any area of your life where you struggle because you don't feel worthy? So how do we coach ourselves when that self defeating narrative kicks in. So I'm going to walk you through what I call the four a's in relation to self worth. So the first A is awareness. So we're going to look firstly at the role of neurodevelopment in relation to our self worth. So how our brains would developed from the moment we are born right up to now, and depending on our environment growing up and how safe and secure we were, it's going to have a huge influence on the wiring of our brain. We see the world and ourselves through the lens of our experience, and to be able to acknowledge that helps us to develop an awareness of why we think and act the way we do. And it's not an excuse, it's an awareness of where we're at right now. Because if we don't have this awareness of ourselves as unique humans based on our life experiences, then we can easily get caught up in this self defeating behavior based on our self worth and self worth if it's low, is not a good compass for life. And this is really important for change because the way we see our own value can really influence the decisions that we make. When we cling tightly to the belief that we're less than others, that we don't deserve happiness or success or love. We can easily slip into a really dark place, and when you're in the dark, you can't see your way out, and the easy option is to give into these thoughts of unworthiness. So if we can start with awareness, being aware of your default thoughts about yourself is the first step to change. And there can be like almost in our harm moment. So for example, if you were emotionally abused as a child, then chances are your self worth could be pretty low. And this is where self compassion can come into play, not as a victim, but as an intrinsic, non judgmental understanding of who you are are. So with that then comes acceptance. So acceptance is around accepting those things that are not within your control. And if you think about the alcoholics anonymous serenity prayer, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. So let's apply this to low self worth. What is it that you have to accept about yourself? Accept about your past, the people who mistreated you, in the past that you cannot change. And of course this doesn't mean you're excusing it or that you like it, but you have to accept because you simply cannot change it. And it's really helpful to avoid language like oh, if only things had been different, if only I hadn't made that choice, or I didn't deserve to be treated that way. This can lead to this spiral of regret and shame and resentment and even haste. And unless those thoughts and emotions are going to serve you in some capacity now, so unless they motivate you and drive you in some way, then they're self defeating and they can really hold you back from living your life to the fullest right now. So now we're going to move on to the third A, which is attention. So attention is, in my experience, the the most powerful tool that we have. But without the awareness and the acceptance, our attention can go into default mode where we don't take control over it, and we can end up living a life of reaction rather than a life of intention. So imagine you are holding a flash light and that beam of light is your attention. So what we consistently shine that beam of light on is how we live our life life. We know that we pay what we pay attention to, our brains commit sels to So if you keep directing that light on thoughts of unworthiness, those feelings can grow stronger. It's like throwing fuel on the fire. So instead, imagine that you have control over where you shine that light, So you redirect that beam of light away from the self criticism and onto the things that matter to you. And this is where the shift happens. So becoming a worthy person isn't about thinking ourselves worthy or going into battle with those default thoughts that pop up when we don't want them to, or it's not about waiting to feel worthy. It's certainly not about getting our worth from other people or even from our achievements, although this can raise our self worth in the short term. But what if we look at this from a different perspective. What if rather than approach this as a feeling, we approach this more as a behavior. So you don't need to feel worthy to be a worthy person. So if we go back to my example of doing these mojo mondays, where I didn't feel worthy, but I didn't need to feel worthy to actually start doing the mojo mondays, because what mattered to me, and I'm super clear on this, is that you, the listener, get value and worth from listening to them. So if that makes me feel worthy, then that's a bonus. But as long as I can keep passing on what I have learned over the years and that you benefit from that, then that makes what I do worthy of it. So how I feel about myself and my worth is really irrelevant as long as I'm doing what matters. So the goal here is not to try and change the way I feel. It's about using what matters my values as my compass. But what the research does show is that over time that feeling about how I feel about myself does change, and that's a real bonus. So that brings me to the final A and that is around action. So this is about doing what matters, doing worthy things for others, aligning your actions with that, not on how you're feeling, not on your low level of self worth, which if you did use that as a compass, you could easily go into avoidance mode distraction mode. So and this framework of the four a's is not a step by step framework, because you may need to keep going back to awareness or back to acceptance, while you're getting into the action. So your compass is your values what matters to you deepen your heart, not your feelings of self self worth. So let's go back to the serenity prayer, which I just love. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. You know, it takes courage and wisdom to recognize your painful past and your default mode in order to change to focus on doing worthy things rather than the feeling of self worth, which I know is really difficult. I don't want to make this out that it's easy, because I know those feelings of self worth can really take over. You take that feeling with you and you put one foot in front of the other and you move yourself towards a life of worthy action. So I hope you have got value from that. It is a different a bit of a different perspective on self worth and how we can increase our self worth earth. It is definitely these strategies of what I use myself and I also use with my clients, and I find it's really really effective and it really encourages us to live a life based on action, aligned with the things that matter to us. So have a great week everybody, and I will catch you next week. See

Hi, everyone. Welcome to Mojo Monday. If you're new, I'm Karlie Taylor, so a special welcome to you. And on that note, I actually just wanted to thank you for being here. So Mojo Mondays gets around one point five thousand listeners and I'm so grateful for that. And this is very much related to the topic today because I started doing these Mojo Mondays because Paul was flat out busy with his PhD. But we continued on and I really enjoy sharing these strategies and tool for life with you because you know, we're all struggling with this roller coaster of being human and I'm a passionate believer that we all need the skills to develop our capacity to be our own coach, so we can develop our mental fitness to throw in life even when we get hit hard. So that's kind of my purpose behind these Mojo Mondays. But when I first started doing these, I didn't really feel worthy of being a podcaster. But what I did have is a lot to talk about, and I had a real passion and drive to help as many people as I could with these life skills. So the podcast really aligned with that. So instead of using my level of self worth as my compass here, I used what really mattered to me, and that was helping others. So that leads me into what we're going to talk about today, and that is about self worth. And Paul and I did when we were doing Merjo Mondays together. We did talk about self worth back in twenty twenty three, but I want to I want to talk about it again. So if you do a Google search on self worth, it comes up with things like being overly self critical, feeling unworthy, so maybe it's un worthy of love or respect of others. And it talks about our in increasing your self worth through self understanding, self love, self acceptance. And what I want to do today is expand on those And the common thread here is that it's about me and my beliefs about myself. So let's just pause here and take a moment and ask yourself right now, how do you rate your self worth across the different areas of your life? So you think about your roles in life, you know, like at work, in relationships as a friend, how worthy do you feel in each Is there any area of your life where you struggle because you don't feel worthy? So how do we coach ourselves when that self defeating narrative kicks in. So I'm going to walk you through what I call the four a's in relation to self worth. So the first A is awareness. So we're going to look firstly at the role of neurodevelopment in relation to our self worth. So how our brains would developed from the moment we are born right up to now, and depending on our environment growing up and how safe and secure we were, it's going to have a huge influence on the wiring of our brain. We see the world and ourselves through the lens of our experience, and to be able to acknowledge that helps us to develop an awareness of why we think and act the way we do. And it's not an excuse, it's an awareness of where we're at right now. Because if we don't have this awareness of ourselves as unique humans based on our life experiences, then we can easily get caught up in this self defeating behavior based on our self worth and self worth if it's low, is not a good compass for life. And this is really important for change because the way we see our own value can really influence the decisions that we make. When we cling tightly to the belief that we're less than others, that we don't deserve happiness or success or love. We can easily slip into a really dark place, and when you're in the dark, you can't see your way out, and the easy option is to give into these thoughts of unworthiness. So if we can start with awareness, being aware of your default thoughts about yourself is the first step to change. And there can be like almost in our harm moment. So for example, if you were emotionally abused as a child, then chances are your self worth could be pretty low. And this is where self compassion can come into play, not as a victim, but as an intrinsic, non judgmental understanding of who you are are. So with that then comes acceptance. So acceptance is around accepting those things that are not within your control. And if you think about the alcoholics anonymous serenity prayer, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. So let's apply this to low self worth. What is it that you have to accept about yourself? Accept about your past, the people who mistreated you, in the past that you cannot change. And of course this doesn't mean you're excusing it or that you like it, but you have to accept because you simply cannot change it. And it's really helpful to avoid language like oh, if only things had been different, if only I hadn't made that choice, or I didn't deserve to be treated that way. This can lead to this spiral of regret and shame and resentment and even haste. And unless those thoughts and emotions are going to serve you in some capacity now, so unless they motivate you and drive you in some way, then they're self defeating and they can really hold you back from living your life to the fullest right now. So now we're going to move on to the third A, which is attention. So attention is, in my experience, the the most powerful tool that we have. But without the awareness and the acceptance, our attention can go into default mode where we don't take control over it, and we can end up living a life of reaction rather than a life of intention. So imagine you are holding a flash light and that beam of light is your attention. So what we consistently shine that beam of light on is how we live our life life. We know that we pay what we pay attention to, our brains commit sels to So if you keep directing that light on thoughts of unworthiness, those feelings can grow stronger. It's like throwing fuel on the fire. So instead, imagine that you have control over where you shine that light, So you redirect that beam of light away from the self criticism and onto the things that matter to you. And this is where the shift happens. So becoming a worthy person isn't about thinking ourselves worthy or going into battle with those default thoughts that pop up when we don't want them to, or it's not about waiting to feel worthy. It's certainly not about getting our worth from other people or even from our achievements, although this can raise our self worth in the short term. But what if we look at this from a different perspective. What if rather than approach this as a feeling, we approach this more as a behavior. So you don't need to feel worthy to be a worthy person. So if we go back to my example of doing these mojo mondays, where I didn't feel worthy, but I didn't need to feel worthy to actually start doing the mojo mondays, because what mattered to me, and I'm super clear on this, is that you, the listener, get value and worth from listening to them. So if that makes me feel worthy, then that's a bonus. But as long as I can keep passing on what I have learned over the years and that you benefit from that, then that makes what I do worthy of it. So how I feel about myself and my worth is really irrelevant as long as I'm doing what matters. So the goal here is not to try and change the way I feel. It's about using what matters my values as my compass. But what the research does show is that over time that feeling about how I feel about myself does change, and that's a real bonus. So that brings me to the final A and that is around action. So this is about doing what matters, doing worthy things for others, aligning your actions with that, not on how you're feeling, not on your low level of self worth, which if you did use that as a compass, you could easily go into avoidance mode distraction mode. So and this framework of the four a's is not a step by step framework, because you may need to keep going back to awareness or back to acceptance, while you're getting into the action. So your compass is your values what matters to you deepen your heart, not your feelings of self self worth. So let's go back to the serenity prayer, which I just love. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. You know, it takes courage and wisdom to recognize your painful past and your default mode in order to change to focus on doing worthy things rather than the feeling of self worth, which I know is really difficult. I don't want to make this out that it's easy, because I know those feelings of self worth can really take over. You take that feeling with you and you put one foot in front of the other and you move yourself towards a life of worthy action. So I hope you have got value from that. It is a different a bit of a different perspective on self worth and how we can increase our self worth earth. It is definitely these strategies of what I use myself and I also use with my clients, and I find it's really really effective and it really encourages us to live a life based on action, aligned with the things that matter to us. So have a great week everybody, and I will catch you next week. See