Holding yourself to impossibly high standards is self-defeating and makes for a miserable life. Can Dr Laurie Santos find ways to tackle her constant perfectionism so she can perform better and have more fun? 

She hears from researcher Thomas Curran about a worrying growth in perfectionism in society, and asks "recovering perfectionist" Jordana Confino how to tackle the nagging voice in your head telling you to always push yourself and work harder.  

Holding yourself to impossibly high standards is self-defeating and makes for a miserable life. Can Dr Laurie Santos find ways to tackle her constant perfectionism so she can perform better and have more fun? 
She hears from researcher Thomas Curran about a worrying growth in perfectionism in society, and asks "recovering perfectionist" Jordana Confino how to tackle the nagging voice in your head telling you to always push yourself and work harder.

You might think you know what it takes to lead a happier life… more money, a better job, or Instagram-worthy vacations. You’re dead wrong. Yale professor Dr. Laurie Santos has studied the science of happiness and found that many of us do the exact opposite of what will truly make our lives better. Based on the psychology course she teaches at Yale -- the most popular class in the university’s 300-year history -- Laurie will take you through the latest scientific research and share some surprising and inspiring stories that will change the way you think about happiness.

You might think you know what it takes to lead a happier life… more money, a better job, or Instagram-worthy vacations. You’re dead wrong. Yale professor Dr. Laurie Santos has studied the science of happiness and found that many of us do the exact opposite of what will truly make our lives better. Based on the psychology course she teaches at Yale -- the most popular class in the university’s 300-year history -- Laurie will take you through the latest scientific research and share some surprising and inspiring stories that will change the way you think about happiness.

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

How to Fight Perfectionism

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/2637de67-1ab9-4045-b31f-b17000b06354/transcript

Negative emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety can feel overwhelming. But what if those uncomfortable feelings aren’t problems to fix, but signals worth listening to?

As part of our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie revisits a conversation with Harvard Medical School psychologist Susan David, author of Emotional Agility. Together, they discuss why bottling up difficult feelings doesn’t work, why brooding can keep us stuck, and what our individual emotions are actually trying to tell us about our lives and relationships.

If you’ve ever tried to bury a bad feeling, this episode offers a more effective approach to emotional healing.

Experts Mentioned:
Susan David, Harvard Medical School psychologist a
Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist, neurologist, and founder of logotherapy

Resources Mentioned:
Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life, by Susan David (2016)

Related Episodes:
"How to Identify Your Negative Emotions"
"Stepping Off the Path of Anxiety"
"How to be Angry Better"
"When Guilt is Good... and When it's Not"

Negative emotions like sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety can feel overwhelming. But what if those uncomfortable feelings aren&rsquo;t problems to fix, but signals worth listening to?
As part of our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie revisits a conversation with Harvard Medical School psychologist <a href="https://www.susandavid.com/">Susan David</a>, author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Agility-Unstuck-Embrace-Change/dp/1592409490">Emotional Agility</a>. Together, they discuss why bottling up difficult feelings doesn&rsquo;t work, why brooding can keep us stuck, and what our individual emotions are actually trying to tell us about our lives and relationships.
If you&rsquo;ve ever tried to bury a bad feeling, this episode offers a more effective approach to emotional healing.
Experts Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.susandavid.com/about/">Susan David</a>, Harvard Medical School psychologist a</li>
<li><a href="https://www.viktorfranklinstitute.org/about-viktor-frankl/">Viktor Frankl</a>, psychiatrist, neurologist, and founder of logotherapy</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Agility-Unstuck-Embrace-Change/dp/1592409490">Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life</a>, by Susan David (2016)</li>
</ul>
Related Episodes:
<ul>
<li>"<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-identify-your-negative-emotions">How to Identify Your Negative Emotions</a>"</li>
<li>"<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/stepping-off-the-path-of-anxiety">Stepping Off the Path of Anxiety</a>"</li>
<li>"<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-be-angry-better">How to be Angry Better</a>"</li>
<li>"<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/when-guilt-is-good-and-when-its-not">When Guilt is Good... and When it's Not</a>"</li>
</ul>

What Your Negative Emotions Are Trying to Tell You

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/c25db77c-5060-48f3-b44b-b4520154fe0b/transcript

Our beliefs shape more than we realize. They influence what we notice, how we respond to setbacks, how connected we feel to others, and whether we take action to improve our lives. 

As part of our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie sits down with happiness expert Shawn Achor, author of The Power of Beliefs, to explore how our beliefs about time, work, relationships, and self-worth shape happiness, success, and long-term wellbeing.

And if some of your beliefs are holding you back, Shawn shares practical ways to start shifting them. Plus, we learn one delightful fact about fireflies.

Experts Mentioned:
Shawn Achor, positive psychology researcher and author 
Richard Wiseman, professor of the public understanding of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire
Henry Beecher, anesthesiologist at Harvard Medical School who pioneered research on the placebo effect 

Resources Mentioned:
The Power of Beliefs: How Strengthening Seven Core Beliefs Predicts Greater Success and a Better Life, by Shawn Achor (2026)
The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work, by Shawn Achor (2010)
The Luck Factor: The Scientific Study of the Lucky Mind, by Richard Wiseman (2004)
"From Jerusalem to Jericho: A Study of Situational and Dispositional Variables in Helping Behavior," by John M. Darley and C. Daniel Batson (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1973)

Related Episodes:
"Grateful Expectations"
“How to Adopt a Growth Mindset”
“Happiness Lessons of The Ancients: The Buddha”
"Happiness Lessons of The Ancients: Socrates and Self-Knowledge"

Our beliefs shape more than we realize. They influence what we notice, how we respond to setbacks, how connected we feel to others, and whether we take action to improve our lives.&nbsp;
As part of our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie sits down with happiness expert Shawn Achor, author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Power-Beliefs-Strengthening-Predicts-Greater-ebook/dp/B0FBVK3HYN">The Power of Beliefs</a>, to explore how our beliefs about time, work, relationships, and self-worth shape happiness, success, and long-term wellbeing.
And if some of your beliefs are holding you back, Shawn shares practical ways to start shifting them. Plus, we learn one delightful fact about fireflies.
Experts Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.shawnachor.com/">Shawn Achor</a>, positive psychology researcher and author&nbsp;</li>
<li><a href="https://richardwiseman.wordpress.com/">Richard Wiseman</a>, professor of the public understanding of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire</li>
<li><a href="https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2017/02/henry-knowles-beecher">Henry Beecher</a>, anesthesiologist at Harvard Medical School who pioneered research on the placebo effect&nbsp;</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://a.co/d/01wSorKr">The Power of Beliefs: How Strengthening Seven Core Beliefs Predicts Greater Success and a Better Life</a>, by Shawn Achor (2026)</li>
<li><a href="https://books.apple.com/us/book/the-happiness-advantage/id420522405">The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work</a>, by Shawn Achor (2010)</li>
<li><a href="https://a.co/d/0eLlPtJC">The Luck Factor: The Scientific Study of the Lucky Mind</a>, by Richard Wiseman (2004)</li>
<li><a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1973-31215-001">"From Jerusalem to Jericho: A Study of Situational and Dispositional Variables in Helping Behavior,"</a> by John M. Darley and C. Daniel Batson (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1973)</li>
</ul>
Related Episodes:
<ul>
<li>"<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/bonus-grateful-expectations">Grateful Expectations</a>"</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-adopt-a-growth-mindset">How to Adopt a Growth Mindset</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happiness-lessons-of-the-ancients-the-buddha">Happiness Lessons of The Ancients: The Buddha</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>"<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happiness-lessons-of-the-ancients-socrates-and-self-knowledge">Happiness Lessons of The Ancients: Socrates and Self-Knowledge</a>"</li>
</ul>

The Hidden Beliefs That Shape Your Happiness with Shawn Achor

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/27945d2c-2bb2-444c-9ab8-b44e00138746/transcript

Struggling to find free time? Feeling constantly busy or burned out? This episode is for you. Dr. Laurie explores the science behind “time famine,” the nagging sense that there’s never enough time in the day.

Writer Tom Hodgkinson, author of How to Be Idle, makes a provocative case that doing nothing (napping, daydreaming, even staring out the window) isn’t laziness, but a powerful path to greater happiness and creativity.

Plus, Harvard professor Ashley Whillans explains why we keep prioritizing money over time and what that trade-off is really costing us.

Experts Mentioned:
Tom Hodgkinson, founder and editor of The Idler and author of How to Be Idle
Ashley Whillans, Harvard Business School professor and author of Time Smart
Cassie Mogilner, UCLA professor of marketing and behavioral decision making
Michael I. Norton, Harvard Business School professor of business administration 
John M. Darley and C. Daniel Batson, psychologists behind the Good Samaritan helping study.

Resources Mentioned:
The Idler, founded by Tom Hodgkinson
How to Be Idle, by Tom Hodgkinson (2004)
Time Smart: How to Reclaim Your Time and Live a Happier Life, by Ashley V. Whillans (Harvard Business Review Press, 2020)
“Time, Money, and Subjective Well-Being”, by Cassie Mogilner, Ashley V. Whillans, and Michael I. Norton (Handbook of Well-Being, 2018)
“Buying Time Promotes Happiness”, by Ashley V. Whillans, Elizabeth W. Dunn, Paul Smeets, Rene Bekkers, and Michael I. Norton (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2017)
“From Jerusalem to Jericho: A Study of Situational and Dispositional Variables in Helping Behavior”, by John M. Darley and C. Daniel Batson (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1973)
“Valuing Time Over Money Is Associated With Greater Happiness”, by Ashley V. Whillans, Aaron C. Weidman, and Elizabeth W. Dunn (Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2016)
“Valuing Time Over Money Is Associated With Greater Social Connection”, by Ashley V. Whillans and Elizabeth W. Dunn (Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2018)
“Thinking About Time As Money Decreases Environmental Behavior”, by Ashley V. Whillans and Elizabeth W. Dunn (Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 2015)
“Time Affluence as a Path Toward Personal Happiness and Ethical Business Practice: Empirical Evidence From Four Studies”, by Tim Kasser and Kennon M. Sheldon (Journal of Business Ethics, 2008)

Related Episodes:
“Are We Born to Work? Or Born to Live?”
“Working Your Way to Happiness”
“Stop Wasting Your Energy — Here’s What to Do Instead”
“The Happiness Lessons Helping Win Olympic Medals”

Struggling to find free time? Feeling constantly busy or burned out? This episode is for you.&nbsp;Dr. Laurie explores the science behind &ldquo;time famine,&rdquo; the nagging sense that there&rsquo;s never enough time in the day.
Writer&nbsp;Tom Hodgkinson, author of&nbsp;<a href="https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Idle-Loafers-Manifesto/dp/0060779691">How to Be Idle</a>, makes a provocative case that doing nothing (napping, daydreaming, even staring out the window) isn&rsquo;t laziness, but a powerful path to greater happiness and creativity.
Plus, Harvard professor Ashley Whillans explains why we keep prioritizing money over time and what that trade-off is really costing us.
Experts Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.idler.co.uk/">Tom Hodgkinson</a>, founder and editor of The Idler and author of How to Be Idle</li>
<li><a href="https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/profile.aspx?facId=943704">Ashley Whillans</a>, Harvard Business School professor and author of Time Smart</li>
<li><a href="https://www.anderson.ucla.edu/faculty-and-research/marketing/faculty/mogilner-holmes">Cassie Mogilner</a>, UCLA professor of marketing and behavioral decision making</li>
<li><a href="https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/profile.aspx?facId=326229">Michael I. Norton</a>, Harvard Business School professor of business administration&nbsp;</li>
<li><a href="https://www.princeton.edu/news/2018/09/13/social-psychologist-john-darley-early-researcher-bystander-intervention-dies-80">John M. Darley</a> and <a href="https://psychology.ku.edu/people/c-daniel-batson">C. Daniel Batson</a>, psychologists behind the Good Samaritan helping study.</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.idler.co.uk/">The Idler</a>, founded by Tom Hodgkinson</li>
<li><a href="https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/54768/how-to-be-idle-by-tom-hodgkinson/9780141015064">How to Be Idle</a>, by Tom Hodgkinson (2004)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.hks.harvard.edu/centers/cid/publications/time-smart-how-reclaim-your-time-and-live-happier-life">Time Smart: How to Reclaim Your Time and Live a Happier Life</a>, by Ashley V. Whillans (Harvard Business Review Press, 2020)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/item.aspx?num=53781">&ldquo;Time, Money, and Subjective Well-Being&rdquo;</a>, by Cassie Mogilner, Ashley V. Whillans, and Michael I. Norton (Handbook of Well-Being, 2018)</li>
<li><a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5559044/">&ldquo;Buying Time Promotes Happiness&rdquo;</a>, by Ashley V. Whillans, Elizabeth W. Dunn, Paul Smeets, Rene Bekkers, and Michael I. Norton (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2017)</li>
<li><a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/h0034449">&ldquo;From Jerusalem to Jericho: A Study of Situational and Dispositional Variables in Helping Behavior&rdquo;</a>, by John M. Darley and C. Daniel Batson (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1973)</li>
<li><a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550615623842">&ldquo;Valuing Time Over Money Is Associated With Greater Happiness&rdquo;</a>, by Ashley V. Whillans, Aaron C. Weidman, and Elizabeth W. Dunn (Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2016)</li>
<li><a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407518791322">&ldquo;Valuing Time Over Money Is Associated With Greater Social Connection&rdquo;</a>, by Ashley V. Whillans and Elizabeth W. Dunn (Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2018)</li>
<li><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.obhdp.2014.12.001">&ldquo;Thinking About Time As Money Decreases Environmental Behavior&rdquo;</a>, by Ashley V. Whillans and Elizabeth W. Dunn (Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 2015)</li>
<li><a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10551-008-9696-1">&ldquo;Time Affluence as a Path Toward Personal Happiness and Ethical Business Practice: Empirical Evidence From Four Studies&rdquo;</a>, by Tim Kasser and Kennon M. Sheldon (Journal of Business Ethics, 2008)</li>
</ul>
Related Episodes:
<ul>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/q-are-we-born-to-work-or-born-to-live">Are We Born to Work? Or Born to Live?</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/working-your-way-to-happiness">Working Your Way to Happiness</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/stop-wasting-your-energy-heres-what-to-do-instead-with-dr-diana-hill">Stop Wasting Your Energy &mdash;&nbsp;Here&rsquo;s What to Do Instead</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/the-happiness-lessons-helping-win-olympic-medals">The Happiness Lessons Helping Win Olympic Medals</a>&rdquo;</li>
</ul>

The Art of Doing Nothing

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/073b67d3-2ea0-4053-aad0-b444014e3e33/transcript

How to Fight Perfectionism

In 1 playlist(s)

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Social links

Follow podcast

Recent clips