Holding yourself to impossibly high standards is self-defeating and makes for a miserable life. Can Dr Laurie Santos find ways to tackle her constant perfectionism so she can perform better and have more fun? 

She hears from researcher Thomas Curran about a worrying growth in perfectionism in society, and asks "recovering perfectionist" Jordana Confino how to tackle the nagging voice in your head telling you to always push yourself and work harder.  

Holding yourself to impossibly high standards is self-defeating and makes for a miserable life. Can Dr Laurie Santos find ways to tackle her constant perfectionism so she can perform better and have more fun? 
She hears from researcher Thomas Curran about a worrying growth in perfectionism in society, and asks "recovering perfectionist" Jordana Confino how to tackle the nagging voice in your head telling you to always push yourself and work harder.

The Happiness Lab is serving up scientifically-backed takes this summer that are so hot, even your SPF 50 won’t protect you.

With the help of behavioral scientists, historians, and cultural critics, Yale psychologist Dr. Laurie Santos challenges some of our biggest assumptions about what it takes to live a good life. Dr. Laurie explores topics like why we should forget about TMI and lean into oversharing, how dumping small talk makes for better conversations, why the kids these days are actually doing just fine, and how men can establish strong bromances. Each episode unpacks a bold, counterintuitive claim — using research, data, and expert insight to question the conventional wisdom around happiness and wellbeing.

The Happiness Lab is serving up scientifically-backed takes this summer that are so hot, even your SPF 50 won&rsquo;t protect you.
With the help of behavioral scientists, historians, and cultural critics, Yale psychologist Dr. Laurie Santos challenges some of our biggest assumptions about what it takes to live a good life. Dr. Laurie explores topics like why we should forget about TMI and lean into oversharing, how dumping small talk makes for better conversations, why the kids these days are actually doing just fine, and how men can establish strong bromances. Each episode unpacks a bold, counterintuitive claim &mdash;&nbsp;using research, data, and expert insight to question the conventional wisdom around happiness and wellbeing.

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

How to Fight Perfectionism

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/2637de67-1ab9-4045-b31f-b17000b06354/transcript

Today we're sharing author Eric Zimmer’s interview with Dr. Laurie on The One You Feed podcast. 

In this episode, Dr. Laurie Santos discusses the importance of taking small steps to happiness and the science of mindful living. She reminds us that happiness is not a destination, but a practice. By understanding the science behind well-being and implementing small, consistent changes, we can learn how to apply these insights to our own lives to find greater joy and fulfillment.

Key Takeaways:
Embrace the power of small, consistent actions in shaping our happiness
Understand how our environment and social connections influence our behavior
Learn the common misconceptions about what truly makes us happy
Discover strategies for overcoming loneliness and building meaningful connections

If you like what you hear, find The One You Feed wherever you get podcasts.

Today we're sharing author Eric Zimmer&rsquo;s interview with Dr. Laurie on <a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/" data-airgap-id="11">The One You Feed</a> podcast.&nbsp;
In this episode, Dr. Laurie Santos discusses the importance of taking small steps to happiness and the science of mindful living. She reminds us that happiness is not a destination, but a practice. By understanding the science behind well-being and implementing small, consistent changes, we can learn how to apply these insights to our own lives to find greater joy and fulfillment.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>Embrace the power of small, consistent actions in shaping our happiness</li>
<li>Understand how our environment and social connections influence our behavior</li>
<li>Learn the common misconceptions about what truly makes us happy</li>
<li>Discover strategies for overcoming loneliness and building meaningful connections</li>
</ul>
If you like what you hear, find The One You Feed wherever you get podcasts.

Small Steps to Happiness: The Science of Mindful Living with Laurie Santos | From The One You Feed

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/e89fe992-b9ce-41c1-8c5a-b4cf011fa7a4/transcript

Most of us are familiar with this frustrating pattern: you set a goal, start off strong, but then lose motivation and end up right back at square one. Why does it seem so hard to change — even when you have a plan in place? Turns out, you may be aiming too high, too soon.

Laurie breaks down the science behind this pattern with Eric Zimmer, host of the award-winning podcast “The One You Feed” and author of the new book How A Little Becomes A Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life. Eric spent years struggling to overcome a heroin addiction before eventually turning his life around. He explains why lasting change often comes from making consistent progress in the right direction rather than attempting one dramatic transformation, and shares what he’s learned about building momentum, overcoming setbacks, and finally reaching the goals we’ve been striving for.

Experts Mentioned:
Eric Zimmer, author and host of “The One You Feed”
Steven Pressfield, author

Resources Mentioned:
How A Little Becomes A Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life, by Eric Zimmer (2026)
“The One You Feed,” hosted by Eric Zimmer 
The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield (2002)

Related Episodes:
"Dump Your Inner Drill Sergeant"
"How to Kick Bad Habits (and Start Good Ones)"
"You Only Live Once… So Commit"

Most of us are familiar with this frustrating pattern: you set a goal, start off strong, but then lose motivation and end up right back at square one. Why does it seem so hard to change &mdash; even when you have a plan in place? Turns out, you may be aiming too high, too soon.
Laurie breaks down the science behind this pattern with <a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/about-eric-zimmer/" data-airgap-id="11">Eric Zimmer</a>, host of the award-winning podcast &ldquo;<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/category/featured/" data-airgap-id="12">The One You Feed</a>&rdquo; and author of the new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/0063420805?lv=shuf&amp;hvlocphy=9004400&amp;hvptwo=&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;mcid=&amp;hvext=372720227149&amp;hvadid=813009524573&amp;language=en_US&amp;hvpone=&amp;hvlocint=&amp;hvcampaign=23942094413&amp;hydadcr=18393_13883182_2506261&amp;hvpos=&amp;hvdev=c&amp;hvdvcmdl=&amp;hvocijid=6768543887556236076--&amp;hvqmt=a&amp;hvexpln=0&amp;tag=smgglusdsadts-20&amp;hvtargid=kwl-2484167636399&amp;adgrpid=199045999082&amp;hvrand=6768543887556236076&amp;channelId=500&amp;ref_=&amp;plpRedirect=mhFallback" data-airgap-id="13">How A Little Becomes A Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life</a>. Eric spent years struggling to overcome a heroin addiction before eventually turning his life around. He explains why lasting change often comes from making consistent progress in the right direction rather than attempting one dramatic transformation, and shares what he&rsquo;s learned about building momentum, overcoming setbacks, and finally reaching the goals we&rsquo;ve been striving for.
Experts Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/about-eric-zimmer/" data-airgap-id="14">Eric Zimmer</a>, author and host of &ldquo;<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/category/featured/" data-airgap-id="15">The One You Feed</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li><a href="https://stevenpressfield.com/" data-airgap-id="16">Steven Pressfield</a>, author</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/0063420805?lv=shuf&amp;hvlocphy=9004400&amp;hvptwo=&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;mcid=&amp;hvext=372720227149&amp;hvadid=813009524573&amp;language=en_US&amp;hvpone=&amp;hvlocint=&amp;hvcampaign=23942094413&amp;hydadcr=18393_13883182_2506261&amp;hvpos=&amp;hvdev=c&amp;hvdvcmdl=&amp;hvocijid=6768543887556236076--&amp;hvqmt=a&amp;hvexpln=0&amp;tag=smgglusdsadts-20&amp;hvtargid=kwl-2484167636399&amp;adgrpid=199045999082&amp;hvrand=6768543887556236076&amp;channelId=500&amp;ref_=&amp;plpRedirect=mhFallback" data-airgap-id="17">How A Little Becomes A Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life</a>, by Eric Zimmer (2026)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/category/featured/" data-airgap-id="18">The One You Feed</a>,&rdquo; hosted by Eric Zimmer&nbsp;</li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/The-War-of-Art-Steven-Pressfield-audiobook/dp/B07PTBYH2G/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.lgZ11asrWu6SED87cPivW3hMEwYZgERUGnRjSkYAEYCz8ybEbXI9L4cmWGLh8hYngWocju20shK1F1QVY_kkSRE5rZUQR1H2-EKiN1InTy2CPYSl1YoYLmK5JDa5QqTODRLpbLIvM4OtkpWmKfCPdJ-N0RzGfOBbqpugnKaRr34KGTjEGd3fa_73Di0J91D49eR3AqGOIEpqGt1CNafRrV1fB3T0tM6aZ61fRLzgohc.hdeviY2LPYc4Nvo3JO0tgZV8yq6TYw9SvFS1_Ab2OMA&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;hvadid=792740976374&amp;hvdev=c&amp;hvexpln=67&amp;hvlocphy=9004400&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvocijid=18342432930842640156--&amp;hvqmt=e&amp;hvrand=18342432930842640156&amp;hvtargid=kwd-342894155&amp;hydadcr=15702_13884898&amp;keywords=the+war+of+art&amp;mcid=75f2f1bc00e632eaaa5d168e451585b0&amp;qid=1789750172&amp;sr=8-1" data-airgap-id="19">The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles</a> by Steven Pressfield (2002)</li>
</ul>
Related Episodes:
<ul>
<li>"<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/dump-your-inner-drill-sergeant" data-airgap-id="20">Dump Your Inner Drill Sergeant</a>"</li>
<li>"<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-kick-bad-habits-and-start-good-ones" data-airgap-id="21">How to Kick Bad Habits (and Start Good Ones)</a>"</li>
<li>"<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/you-only-live-once-so-commit" data-airgap-id="22">You Only Live Once&hellip; So Commit</a>"</li>
</ul>

Why Smaller Goals Can Lead to Bigger Changes with Eric Zimmer

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/1bbc6e50-7b04-4877-8c69-b4c9013e0973/transcript

Your brain is changing all the time, whether you realize it or not. Everything from your hobbies and chores to the media you consume can physically shape it. So how can you make sure it’s changing in ways that actually serve you?

Laurie speaks with neuroscientist Dr. Richard Davidson, whose decades of work with the Dalai Lama helped pioneer the scientific study of meditation. Drawing on research with Buddhist monks, stressed-out school teachers, and others, Richie explains why psychological flourishing is a skill we can train, and how simple practices involving awareness, connection, insight, and purpose can help us become more resilient, focused, and fulfilled. His new book, Born to Flourish, is out now.

Experts Mentioned:
Richard Davidson, Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry and Founder and Director of the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin–Madison
Cortland Dahl, Contemplative Scientist at the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin–Madison
14th Dalai Lama, spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism 
Matthieu Ricard, Buddhist monk 
François Jacob, Nobel Prize-winning biologist

Resources Mentioned:
Born to Flourish: How New Science and Ancient Wisdom Reveal a Simple Path to Thriving, by Richard Davidson and Cortland Dahl (2026)
“Neurogenesis in the adult brain: death of a dogma,” by Charles Gordon Gross (Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 2000)
“The book of neurogenesis,” by Matthew Sloan (Harvard Health Publishing, 2021)
“In pursuit of resilience: stress, epigenetics, and brain plasticity,” by Bruce McEwen (Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 2016)
“The plasticity of well-being: A training-based framework for the cultivation of human flourishing,” by Cortland Dahl, Christine Wilson-Mendenhall, and Richard Davidson (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2020)
“Navigation-related structural change in the hippocampi of taxi drivers,” by Eleanor Maguire, David Gadian, Ingrid Johnsrude, Catriona Good, John Ashburner, Richard Frackowiak, and Christopher Frith (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2000)
“Training induces changes in white-matter architecture,” by Jan Scholz, Miriam Klein, Timothy Behrens, and Heidi Johansen-Berg (Nature Neuroscience, 2009)
“Long-term meditators self-induce high-amplitude gamma synchrony during mental practice,” by Antoine Lutz, Lawrence Greischar, Nancy B. Rawlings, Matthieu Ricard, Richard Davidson (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2004)
“A Randomized Controlled Trial of a Smartphone-Based Well-Being Training in Public School System Employees During the COVID-19 Pandemic,” by Matthew Hirshberg, Corrina Frye, Cortland Dahl, Kevin Riordan, Nathan Vack, Jane Sachs, Robin Goldman, Richard Davidson, and Simon B Goldberg (Journal of Educational Psychology, 2022)
“Altered anterior insula activation during anticipation and experience of painful stimuli in expert meditators,” by Antoine Lutz, Daniel McFarlin, David Perlman, Tim Salomons, and Richard Davidson (Neuroimage, 2013)
Healthy Minds Program (meditation app)
“Integrating mindfulness and connection practices into preservice teacher education results in durable automatic race bias reductions,” by Matthew Hirshberg, Lisa Flook, Evan Moss, Robert Enright, and Richard Davidson (Journal of School Psychology, 2022)
“Sitting and Active Meditation Practice: Utilization and Associations with Outcomes in Naturalistic and Clinical Trial Data,” by Simon B Goldberg, Zishan Jiwani, Cortland J Dahl, Raquel Tatar, John D Dunne, Richard J Davidson, Matthew J Hirshberg (Mindfulness, 2026)

Related Episodes:
“How to Find Your Purpose”
“The Power of Awe… and Where to Find It”
“Happiness Lessons of The Ancients: Socrates and Self-Knowledge”
“How to Adopt a Growth Mindset”

Your brain is changing all the time, whether you realize it or not. Everything from&nbsp;your hobbies and chores to the media you consume can physically shape it. So how can you make sure it&rsquo;s changing in ways that actually serve you?
Laurie speaks with neuroscientist <a href="https://www.richardjdavidson.com/" data-airgap-id="10">Dr. Richard Davidson</a>, whose decades of work with the Dalai Lama helped pioneer the scientific study of meditation. Drawing on research with Buddhist monks, stressed-out school teachers, and others, Richie explains why psychological flourishing is a skill we can train, and how simple practices involving awareness, connection, insight, and purpose can help us become more resilient, focused, and fulfilled. His new book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Born-Flourish-Science-Ancient-Thriving/dp/1668066238" data-airgap-id="11">Born to Flourish</a>, is out now.
Experts Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.richardjdavidson.com/" data-airgap-id="12">Richard Davidson</a>, Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry and Founder and Director of the <a href="https://centerhealthyminds.org/" data-airgap-id="13">Center for Healthy Minds</a> at the University of Wisconsin&ndash;Madison</li>
<li><a href="https://cortlanddahl.com/" data-airgap-id="14">Cortland Dahl</a>, Contemplative Scientist at the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin&ndash;Madison</li>
<li><a href="https://www.dalailama.com/" data-airgap-id="15">14th Dalai Lama</a>, spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism&nbsp;</li>
<li><a href="https://www.matthieuricard.org/en/" data-airgap-id="16">Matthieu Ricard</a>, Buddhist monk&nbsp;</li>
<li><a href="https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/medicine/1965/jacob/biographical/" data-airgap-id="17">Fran&ccedil;ois Jacob</a>, Nobel Prize-winning biologist</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Born-Flourish-Science-Ancient-Thriving/dp/1668066238/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.CHFoDDIv-n9u2ZvSZFwFE78KVuGHPt8F0MZajnBjwNwHR_Xc4Bb2bHf7PJqFFlPU7dh3tTXu2kviYmAjOcg2N-Vr8EdiYyodsDMLzbaYOpvNILmL7UjBxve3YfRUSqNc2nfmZ4Cy_q7pLWPilxUXtxrx4vo4M-dfAcULgKsE8_NnuNvtr00WbL9PrYmY2F2wODHiCcoEEtP9Htam-q4QtvbEtvHK-74Ej9_ndTlFnJw.OU_xjilHt6Y8TalD7k99IFI6xJJ3D3ZfLW17bksrrrw&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;hvadid=778077574248&amp;hvdev=c&amp;hvexpln=67&amp;hvlocphy=9060351&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvocijid=2134011542470597080--&amp;hvqmt=e&amp;hvrand=2134011542470597080&amp;hvtargid=kwd-2460680050021&amp;hydadcr=20364_13639485&amp;keywords=born+to+flourish+book&amp;mcid=78f677841744347794a3168582b0c1fa&amp;qid=1788969739&amp;sr=8-1" data-airgap-id="18">Born to Flourish: How New Science and Ancient Wisdom Reveal a Simple Path to Thriving</a>, by Richard Davidson and Cortland Dahl (2026)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11252770/" data-airgap-id="19">Neurogenesis in the adult brain: death of a dogma</a>,&rdquo; by Charles Gordon Gross (Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 2000)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/the-book-of-neurogenesis" data-airgap-id="20">The book of neurogenesis</a>,&rdquo; by Matthew Sloan (Harvard Health Publishing, 2021)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26919273/" data-airgap-id="21">In pursuit of resilience: stress, epigenetics, and brain plasticity</a>,&rdquo; by Bruce McEwen (Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 2016)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2014859117" data-airgap-id="22">The plasticity of well-being: A training-based framework for the cultivation of human flourishing</a>,&rdquo; by Cortland Dahl, Christine Wilson-Mendenhall, and Richard Davidson (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2020)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.070039597" data-airgap-id="23">Navigation-related structural change in the hippocampi of taxi drivers</a>,&rdquo; by Eleanor Maguire, David Gadian, Ingrid Johnsrude, Catriona Good, John Ashburner, Richard Frackowiak, and Christopher Frith (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2000)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/nn.2412" data-airgap-id="24">Training induces changes in white-matter architecture</a>,&rdquo; by Jan Scholz, Miriam Klein, Timothy Behrens, and Heidi Johansen-Berg (Nature Neuroscience, 2009)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.0407401101" data-airgap-id="25">Long-term meditators self-induce high-amplitude gamma synchrony during mental practice</a>,&rdquo; by Antoine Lutz, Lawrence Greischar, Nancy B. Rawlings, Matthieu Ricard, Richard Davidson (Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2004)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36387982/" data-airgap-id="26">A Randomized Controlled Trial of a Smartphone-Based Well-Being Training in Public School System Employees During the COVID-19 Pandemic</a>,&rdquo; by Matthew Hirshberg, Corrina Frye, Cortland Dahl, Kevin Riordan, Nathan Vack, Jane Sachs, Robin Goldman, Richard Davidson, and Simon B Goldberg (Journal of Educational Psychology, 2022)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23000783/" data-airgap-id="27">Altered anterior insula activation during anticipation and experience of painful stimuli in expert meditators</a>,&rdquo; by Antoine Lutz, Daniel McFarlin, David Perlman, Tim Salomons, and Richard Davidson (Neuroimage, 2013)</li>
<li><a href="https://apple.co/4irVVDP" data-airgap-id="28">Healthy Minds Program</a> (meditation app)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022440521000881" data-airgap-id="29">Integrating mindfulness and connection practices into preservice teacher education results in durable automatic race bias reductions</a>,&rdquo; by Matthew Hirshberg, Lisa Flook, Evan Moss, Robert Enright, and Richard Davidson (Journal of School Psychology, 2022)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12971069/" data-airgap-id="30">Sitting and Active Meditation Practice: Utilization and Associations with Outcomes in Naturalistic and Clinical Trial Data</a>,&rdquo; by Simon B Goldberg, Zishan Jiwani, Cortland J Dahl, Raquel Tatar, John D Dunne, Richard J Davidson, Matthew J Hirshberg (Mindfulness, 2026)</li>
</ul>
Related Episodes:
<ul>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-find-your-purpose" data-airgap-id="31">How to Find Your Purpose</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/the-power-of-awe-and-where-to-find-it" data-airgap-id="32">The Power of Awe&hellip; and Where to Find It</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happiness-lessons-of-the-ancients-socrates-and-self-knowledge" data-airgap-id="33">Happiness Lessons of The Ancients: Socrates and Self-Knowledge</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-adopt-a-growth-mindset" data-airgap-id="34">How to Adopt a Growth Mindset</a>&rdquo;</li>
</ul>

A Neuroscientist’s Guide to Changing Your Brain with Dr. Richard Davidson

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/fc29517e-a701-4125-97fa-b4c2014cbfe4/transcript

How to Fight Perfectionism

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