In our first "How To..." guide of 2025, Dr Laurie is asking how can we stop striving for perfection and make peace with the idea that it's ok to lead messy and "half-assed" lives. 

Oliver Burkeman (author of Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time For What Counts) explains how we can embrace imperfection and find liberation and joy in just doing our best. 

In our first "How To..." guide of 2025, Dr Laurie is asking how can we stop striving for perfection and make peace with the idea that it's ok to lead messy and "half-assed" lives.&nbsp;
Oliver Burkeman (author of&nbsp;<a href="https://www.oliverburkeman.com/">Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time For What Counts</a>) explains how we can embrace imperfection and find liberation and joy in just doing our best.&nbsp;

You might think you know what it takes to lead a happier life… more money, a better job, or Instagram-worthy vacations. You’re dead wrong. Yale professor Dr. Laurie Santos has studied the science of happiness and found that many of us do the exact opposite of what will truly make our lives better. Based on the psychology course she teaches at Yale -- the most popular class in the university’s 300-year history -- Laurie will take you through the latest scientific research and share some surprising and inspiring stories that will change the way you think about happiness.

You might think you know what it takes to lead a happier life… more money, a better job, or Instagram-worthy vacations. You’re dead wrong. Yale professor Dr. Laurie Santos has studied the science of happiness and found that many of us do the exact opposite of what will truly make our lives better. Based on the psychology course she teaches at Yale -- the most popular class in the university’s 300-year history -- Laurie will take you through the latest scientific research and share some surprising and inspiring stories that will change the way you think about happiness.

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

How To Embrace Imperfection

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/823779a5-ded4-465d-8501-b24a0113262d/transcript

In Part 2 of Dr. Laurie’s conversation with researchers Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, we learn how couples can raise complaints without damaging their relationship — and how to respond constructively when a partner voices a concern. Their research shows that fighting doesn’t have to pull couples apart. When handled well, conflict can actually make relationships stronger.

Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connectionby Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman.

In Part 2 of Dr. Laurie&rsquo;s conversation with researchers Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, we learn how couples can raise complaints without damaging their relationship &mdash; and how to respond constructively when a partner voices a concern. Their research shows that fighting doesn&rsquo;t have to pull couples apart. When handled well, conflict can actually make relationships stronger.
Further reading: <a href="https://books.apple.com/us/book/fight-right/id6448687736">Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection</a> by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman.

Inside the Love Lab with Drs. John & Julie Gottman (Part 2)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/20f466a4-df33-422f-b3ee-b40501584822/transcript

In this classic episode, Dr. Laurie speaks with two of the world’s most influential relationship scientists, Drs. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman.

In their renowned “Love Lab,” the married researchers have studied thousands of couples, identifying the subtle interaction patterns that predict whether partners will drift apart or stay happily together for decades.

They join Dr. Laurieto share what we can learn from these “Masters of Relationships” — and how to build partnerships resilient enough to withstand life’s inevitable stresses and strains.

Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connectionby Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman.

In this classic episode, Dr. Laurie speaks with two of the world&rsquo;s most influential relationship scientists, Drs. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman.
In their renowned <a href="https://www.gottman.com/professionals/love-lab/">&ldquo;Love Lab,&rdquo;</a> the married researchers have studied thousands of couples, identifying the subtle interaction patterns that predict whether partners will drift apart or stay happily together for decades.
They join Dr. Laurie to share what we can learn from these &ldquo;Masters of Relationships&rdquo; &mdash; and how to build partnerships resilient enough to withstand life&rsquo;s inevitable stresses and strains.
Further reading: <a href="https://books.apple.com/us/book/fight-right/id6448687736">Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection</a> by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman.

Inside the Love Lab with Drs. John & Julie Gottman (Part 1)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/be91197b-653c-47e7-9195-b40100182f1f/transcript

Modern dating can feel like a marketplace. We’re told we all have a “mate value,” that some people are 9s and 10s, and that the laws of evolution determine who gets chosen — and who gets rejected. But what if we’ve misunderstood what evolutionary science actually says about love?

Dr. Laurie sits down with social psychologist Dr. Paul Eastwick, author of Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection, to challenge some of the most pervasive myths about attraction and compatibility. Do dating app algorithms actually know who's right for you? Are we really all placed in different "leagues"? If you’ve ever wondered whether love is destiny, biology, or something you can actually create, Dr. Eastwick offers a surprising new perspective.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection

“The Pairing Game: A Classroom Demonstration of the Matching Phenomenon”

“Matching for Attractiveness in Romantic Partners and Same-Sex Friends: A Meta-Analysis and Theoretical Critique”

“The Social Relations Model”

“Once More: Is Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder? Relative contributions of private and shared taste to judgments of facial attractiveness”

“Sex Differences in Mate Preferences Revisited: Do People Know What They Initially Desire in a Romantic Partner?”

“Northwestern Speed-dating Study I”

“Northwestern Speed-dating Study II”

“The (Mental) Ties That Bind: Cognitive Structures That Predict Relationship Resilience”

“We’re Not That Choosy: Emerging Evidence of a Progression Bias in Romantic Relationships”

“Romantic Relationship Status Biases Memory of Faces of Attractive Opposite-Sex Others: Evidence from a Reverse-Correlation Paradigm”

“Relationship Regulation in the Face of Eye Candy: a Motivated Cognition Framework for Understanding Responses to Attractive Alternatives”

“Perceived, not actual, similarity predicts initial attraction in a live romantic context: Evidence from the speed-dating paradigm”

“Is Romantic Desire Predictable? Machine Learning Applied to Initial Romantic Attraction”

“Love Factually”

Modern dating can feel like a marketplace. We&rsquo;re told we all have a &ldquo;mate value,&rdquo; that some people are 9s and 10s, and that the laws of evolution determine who gets chosen &mdash; and who gets rejected. But what if we&rsquo;ve misunderstood what evolutionary science actually says about love?
Dr. Laurie sits down with social psychologist Dr. Paul Eastwick, author of&nbsp;<a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/fr/podcast/bonded-by-evolution-how-attraction-really-works-paul/id1553279283?i=1000750432909&amp;l=en-GB">Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection</a>, to challenge some of the most pervasive myths about attraction and compatibility. Do dating app algorithms actually know who's right for you? Are we really all placed in different "leagues"? If you&rsquo;ve ever wondered whether love is destiny, biology, or something you can actually create, Dr. Eastwick offers a surprising new&nbsp;perspective.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
<a href="https://books.apple.com/us/audiobook/bonded-by-evolution-the-new-science-of-love/id1815733977">Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection</a>
&ldquo;<a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1999-13804-007">The Pairing Game: A Classroom Demonstration of the Matching Phenomenon</a>&rdquo;
&ldquo;<a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1989-01355-001">Matching for Attractiveness in Romantic Partners and Same-Sex Friends: A Meta-Analysis and Theoretical Critique</a>&rdquo;
&ldquo;<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/chapter/bookseries/abs/pii/S0065260108601446">The Social Relations Model</a>&rdquo;
&ldquo;<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16634665/">Once More: Is Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder? Relative contributions of private and shared taste to judgments of facial attractiveness</a>&rdquo;
&ldquo;<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18211175/">Sex Differences in Mate Preferences Revisited: Do People Know What They Initially Desire in a Romantic Partner?</a>&rdquo;
&ldquo;<a href="https://dataverse.unc.edu/dataset.xhtml?persistentId=doi:10.15139/S3/HK7KZQ">Northwestern Speed-dating Study I</a>&rdquo;
&ldquo;<a href="https://dataverse.unc.edu/dataset.xhtml?persistentId=doi:10.15139/S3/52MIJO">Northwestern Speed-dating Study II</a>&rdquo;
&ldquo;<a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1999-15054-010">The (Mental) Ties That Bind: Cognitive Structures That Predict Relationship Resilience</a>&rdquo;
&ldquo;<a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10888683211025860">We&rsquo;re Not That Choosy: Emerging Evidence of a Progression Bias in Romantic Relationships</a>&rdquo;
&ldquo;<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0010027711001971">Romantic Relationship Status Biases Memory of Faces of Attractive Opposite-Sex Others: Evidence from a Reverse-Correlation Paradigm</a>&rdquo;
&ldquo;<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X15000603">Relationship Regulation in the Face of Eye Candy: a Motivated Cognition Framework for Understanding Responses to Attractive Alternatives</a>&rdquo;
&ldquo;<a href="https://faculty.wcas.northwestern.edu/eli-finkel/documents/InPress_TidwellEastwickFinkel_PersonalRelationships_000.pdf">Perceived, not actual, similarity predicts initial attraction in a live romantic context: Evidence from the speed-dating paradigm</a>&rdquo;
&ldquo;<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28853645/">Is Romantic Desire Predictable? Machine Learning Applied to Initial Romantic Attraction</a>&rdquo;
&ldquo;<a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-factually/id1766543146">Love Factually</a>&rdquo;

Why Algorithms Can’t Predict Your Love Life with Dr. Paul Eastwick

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/64f1386c-04d9-4968-8e10-b3f8017fb341/transcript

How To Embrace Imperfection

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