In our first "How To..." guide of 2025, Dr Laurie is asking how can we stop striving for perfection and make peace with the idea that it's ok to lead messy and "half-assed" lives. 

Oliver Burkeman (author of Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time For What Counts) explains how we can embrace imperfection and find liberation and joy in just doing our best. 

In our first "How To..." guide of 2025, Dr Laurie is asking how can we stop striving for perfection and make peace with the idea that it's ok to lead messy and "half-assed" lives.&nbsp;
Oliver Burkeman (author of&nbsp;<a href="https://www.oliverburkeman.com/">Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time For What Counts</a>) explains how we can embrace imperfection and find liberation and joy in just doing our best.&nbsp;

The Happiness Lab is serving up scientifically-backed takes this summer that are so hot, even your SPF 50 won’t protect you.

With the help of behavioral scientists, historians, and cultural critics, Yale psychologist Dr. Laurie Santos challenges some of our biggest assumptions about what it takes to live a good life. Dr. Laurie explores topics like why we should forget about TMI and lean into oversharing, how dumping small talk makes for better conversations, why the kids these days are actually doing just fine, and how men can establish strong bromances. Each episode unpacks a bold, counterintuitive claim — using research, data, and expert insight to question the conventional wisdom around happiness and wellbeing.

The Happiness Lab is serving up scientifically-backed takes this summer that are so hot, even your SPF 50 won&rsquo;t protect you.
With the help of behavioral scientists, historians, and cultural critics, Yale psychologist Dr. Laurie Santos challenges some of our biggest assumptions about what it takes to live a good life. Dr. Laurie explores topics like why we should forget about TMI and lean into oversharing, how dumping small talk makes for better conversations, why the kids these days are actually doing just fine, and how men can establish strong bromances. Each episode unpacks a bold, counterintuitive claim &mdash;&nbsp;using research, data, and expert insight to question the conventional wisdom around happiness and wellbeing.

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

How To Embrace Imperfection

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/823779a5-ded4-465d-8501-b24a0113262d/transcript

We hear a lot about rising rates of anxiety, depression, and fragility among kids today. But when Harvard researcher Alexis Redding uncovered a forgotten trove of interviews with college students from the 1970s, she found something surprising: their emotional struggles and developmental challenges sounded nearly identical to those of students today.

Dr. Laurie also talks with psychologist Adam Mastroianni about why our minds are so quick to believe that young people are getting worse over time. Together, they explore what we get wrong about “kids these days,” and how historical perspective can help us respond to young people with a little more compassion.

Experts Mentioned: 
Alexis Redding, developmental psychologist and Co-Chair of Higher Education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education
William Perry, professor of education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education
Adam Mastroianni, writer and social psychologist
Nancy Hill, Charles Bigelow Professor of Education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education

Resources Mentioned:
Mental Health in College: What Research Tells Us About Supporting Students, by Alexis Redding (2026)
Forms of Ethical and Intellectual Development in the College Years: A Scheme, by William Perry (1968)
“The Illusion of Moral Decline” by Adam Mastroianni and Dan Gilbert (Nature, 2023)

Related Episodes: 
“How to Make America's Young People Happier Again”
“What is Social Media Doing to Kids?”
“How Smartphones Changed Childhood (And What to Do About It)”

We hear a lot about rising rates of anxiety, depression, and fragility among kids today. But when Harvard researcher <a href="https://www.gse.harvard.edu/directory/faculty/alexis-redding" data-airgap-id="11">Alexis Redding</a> uncovered a forgotten trove of interviews with college students from the 1970s, she found something surprising: their emotional struggles and developmental challenges sounded nearly identical to those of students today.
Dr. Laurie also talks with psychologist <a href="https://www.adammastroianni.com/" data-airgap-id="12">Adam Mastroianni</a> about why our minds are so quick to believe that young people are getting worse over time. Together, they explore what we get wrong about &ldquo;kids these days,&rdquo; and how historical perspective can help us respond to young people with a little more compassion.
Experts Mentioned:&nbsp;
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.gse.harvard.edu/directory/faculty/alexis-redding" data-airgap-id="13">Alexis Redding</a>, developmental psychologist and Co-Chair of Higher Education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education</li>
<li><a href="https://www.thecrimson.com/article/1998/1/28/bureau-of-study-counsel-founder-dies/" data-airgap-id="14">William Perry</a>, professor of education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education</li>
<li><a href="https://www.adammastroianni.com/" data-airgap-id="15">Adam Mastroianni</a>, writer and social psychologist</li>
<li><a href="https://www.gse.harvard.edu/directory/faculty/nancy-hill" data-airgap-id="16">Nancy Hill</a>, Charles Bigelow Professor of Education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Mental-Health-College-Research-Supporting/dp/B0FQ9HXNB6" data-airgap-id="17">Mental Health in College: What Research Tells Us About Supporting Students</a>, by Alexis Redding (2026)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Forms-Ethical-Intellectual-Development-College/dp/0787941182" data-airgap-id="18">Forms of Ethical and Intellectual Development in the College Years: A Scheme</a>, by William Perry (1968)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-023-06137-x" data-airgap-id="19">The Illusion of Moral Decline</a>&rdquo; by Adam Mastroianni and Dan Gilbert (Nature, 2023)</li>
</ul>
Related Episodes:&nbsp;
<ul>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-to-make-americas-young-people-happier-again" data-airgap-id="20">How to Make America's Young People Happier Again</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/what-is-social-media-doing-to-kids-with-dr-jean-twenge" data-airgap-id="21">What is Social Media Doing to Kids?</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/how-smartphones-changed-childhood-and-what-to-do-about-it" data-airgap-id="22">How Smartphones Changed Childhood (And What to Do About It)</a>&rdquo;</li>
</ul>

Are Kids Today Really Worse Off?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/8b8de557-a72e-4964-9807-b467011d4816/transcript

We’re kicking off a new season of The Happiness Lab with some happiness hot takes — bold claims that challenge conventional wisdom about what it really takes to feel happier. Today's hot take is all about oversharing.

We’re usually told that revealing too much is cringe-worthy. That it demonstrates social ignorance. That when it comes to overly personal information, save it for your therapist, because less is usually more.

Dr. Laurie argues that revealing more than feels comfortable can actually strengthen our social connections and boost our wellbeing. She speaks with Harvard Business School professor Leslie John, author of Revealing, about why TLI (too little information) is often more dangerous than TMI, and chats with University of Chicago psychologist Nick Epley, author of A Little More Social, about what “embracing the cringe” can teach us about connection, vulnerability, and trust. 

Together, they explore the line between sharing and oversharing, and explain why what feels like “too much information” is often just information.

Experts Mentioned: 
Leslie John, James. E. Burke Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School
Nick Epley, John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science and Faculty Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business
Bronnie Ware, author and palliative carer 

Resources Mentioned:
Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing, by Leslie John (2026)
“Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation” by Jared Torre and Matthew Lieberman (Emotion Review, 2018)
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, by Bronnie Ware (2011)
A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection, by Nick Epley (2026)
“Undervaluing gratitude: Expressers misunderstand the consequences of showing appreciation,” by Amit Kumar and Nick Epley (Psychological Science, 2018)
“Insufficiently complimentary?: Underestimating the positive impact of compliments creates a barrier to expressing them” by Xuan Zhao and Nick Epley (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2021)

Related Episodes: 
“The Secret to Making Friends as an Adult”
“Why Giving is a Great Daily Habit”
“Caring What You’re Sharing”

We&rsquo;re kicking off a new season of The Happiness Lab with some happiness hot takes &mdash; bold claims that challenge conventional wisdom about what it really takes to feel happier. Today's hot take is all about oversharing.
We&rsquo;re usually told that revealing too much is cringe-worthy. That it demonstrates social ignorance. That when it comes to overly personal information, save it for your therapist, because less is usually more.
Dr. Laurie argues that revealing more than feels comfortable can actually strengthen our social connections and boost our wellbeing. She speaks with Harvard Business School professor <a href="https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/profile.aspx?facId=589473">Leslie John</a>, author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Revealing-Underrated-Oversharing-Leslie-John/dp/0593545389">Revealing</a>, about why TLI (too little information) is often more dangerous than TMI, and chats with University of Chicago psychologist <a href="https://www.nicholasepley.com/">Nick Epley</a>, author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Little-More-Social-Unexpected-Connection/dp/0593319540">A Little More Social</a>, about what &ldquo;embracing the cringe&rdquo; can teach us about connection, vulnerability, and trust.&nbsp;
Together, they explore the line between sharing and oversharing, and explain why what feels like &ldquo;too much information&rdquo; is often just information.
Experts Mentioned:&nbsp;
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.proflesliejohn.com/about">Leslie John</a>, James. E. Burke Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School</li>
<li><a href="https://www.nicholasepley.com/">Nick Epley</a>, John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science and Faculty Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business</li>
<li><a href="https://bronnieware.com/">Bronnie Ware</a>, author and palliative carer&nbsp;</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Revealing-Underrated-Oversharing-Leslie-John/dp/0593545389">Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing</a>, by Leslie John (2026)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1754073917742706">Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling as implicit emotion regulation</a>&rdquo;&nbsp;by Jared Torre and Matthew Lieberman (Emotion Review, 2018)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Top-Five-Regrets-Dying-Transformed/dp/140194065X">The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing</a>, by Bronnie Ware (2011)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Little-More-Social-Unexpected-Connection/dp/0593319540">A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection</a>, by Nick Epley (2026)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797618772506">Undervaluing gratitude: Expressers misunderstand the consequences of showing appreciation</a>,&rdquo; by Amit Kumar and Nick Epley (Psychological Science, 2018)</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2021-92058-001">Insufficiently complimentary?: Underestimating the positive impact of compliments creates a barrier to expressing them</a>&rdquo; by Xuan Zhao and Nick Epley (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2021)</li>
</ul>
Related Episodes:&nbsp;
<ul>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/the-secret-to-making-friends-as-an-adult">The Secret to Making Friends as an Adult</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/why-giving-is-a-great-daily-habit">Why Giving is a Great Daily Habit</a>&rdquo;</li>
<li>&ldquo;<a href="https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/caring-what-youre-sharing">Caring What You&rsquo;re Sharing</a>&rdquo;</li>
</ul>

The Surprising Case for Oversharing

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/cd450628-854b-4c72-974d-b46000f3f353/transcript

As summer begins, many of us are bombarded with messages about how our bodies aren't good enough. But what if we embraced movement not out of self-criticism or shame, but self-compassion?

To close out our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, we're revisiting a powerful conversation from The Happiness Lab archives featuring Jessamyn Stanley, author of Every Body Yoga: Let Go of Fear, Get On the Mat, Love Your Body. Dr. Laurie explores how body shame warps our relationship with exercise — and how to rediscover the joy of moving our bodies.

If you've ever treated exercise like punishment, this episode offers a happier, kinder way to move through the world. 

As summer begins, many of us are bombarded with messages about how our bodies aren't good enough. But what if we embraced movement not out of self-criticism or shame, but self-compassion?
To close out our series on how to spring clean your wellbeing, we're revisiting a powerful conversation from The Happiness Lab archives featuring Jessamyn Stanley, author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Every-Body-Yoga-Fear-Body/dp/0761193111">Every Body Yoga: Let Go of Fear, Get On the Mat, Love Your Body</a>. Dr. Laurie explores how body shame warps our relationship with exercise &mdash; and how to rediscover the joy of moving our bodies.
If you've ever treated exercise like punishment, this episode offers a happier, kinder way to move through the world.&nbsp;

How to Feel Happier in Your Body with Jessamyn Stanley

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/b0596622-acd6-477f-8f17-b4590153745e/transcript

How To Embrace Imperfection

In 1 playlist(s)

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Social links

Follow podcast

Recent clips