The Breakfast ClubDONKEY: Police Find Nearly $1M Worth Of Stolen Jewelry In Thief's Stomach
Charlamagne Tha God Gives Donkey of The Day To A Thief Who Swallows Nearly $1M Worth Of Diamond Earrings. Listen For More!
They called Donkey of the Day and it really caught me off guard. Damn Charlamagne, who got the donkey out of Day Today?
Wow?
Donkey Today for Monday, March seventeenth goes to thirty two year old Jathan Gilder of Houston, Texas. Now, full disclosure, this story happened a couple of weeks ago. But the reason I'm bringing this up now is because I need an update. Okay, I need to know what happened to these seven hundred and sixty nine thousand dollars earrings that Jathan allegedly robbed from Tiffany and Company Jewelry. Now, let the record show this story happened in Florida, Orlando to be exact. But since Jaythan isn't from Florida, I'm not gonna put this on y'all Sunshine State.
But just know.
Jaythan was down there for just a little while and he participated in some Florida foolishness. Okay, Now, according to an arrest after David reviewed by CBS News, Jathan presented Jathan pretended to represent a professional basketball player.
Okay.
He went in there cos playing as Rich Paul, and he told staff that his name was Sean and he was negotiating a sale on behalf of a player on new Orlando Magic basketball team. By the way, he picked the right team because I guarantee you people in Orlando can't name more than one player on the Magic. Okay, I know a Polo Banchero. Better not say his name too loud because Trump will try to have him deported. I know, uh, Contavious Calwell Pope, but that's because he played for the Lakers and Nuggets, and one rings with both. I believe Cole Anthony plays for the Magic and the white dude who's been winning the Dunk Contest the last few years. He's on the Magic this year too, but he don't count because they just dick him on the roster so he can participate in the Dunk Contest.
He's had all the way on the team.
You on the team like a little bit, just when it's around All Star week, daego. Yes, So if you're gonna say you represent a player on an NBA team, the Magic is a safe bet.
Okay.
Won't be too many questions asked. Where did the story go from there? Though, Well, let's go to Fox thirty five Orlando for the report.
Police here is the X ray you're looking at. Just over thirteen carrots of diamonds inside Jathan Gilder's stomach. That's almost eight hundred thousand dollars. Video shows the thirty two year old checking out the Tiffany and Code jewels at the Mall of Millennia Wednesday, before snatching two pairs of earrings and booking it.
Trying to stop.
Him from leaving the store.
OPD says he made it to a car and was headed for Texas when FHP arrested him in Washington County. That's when trooper say he swallowed the stolen goods from swipes to smashing grabs. Records show Gilder has been arrested multiple times for theft rings to rolexes. The target always expensive jewelry.
This man really tried to turn himself into a human safe deposit box. Okay, Jathan, this isn't what the kids have in mind when they say you ate that.
Okay, this man swallowed a.
Pair of seven hundred and sixty nine thousand dollars earrings. Look, I don't understand why people go dis hard pretending. Okay, if you're gonna go out of your way to pretend to be someone who represents an NBA player, come up with this elaborate scheme.
Know where you're going, You're gonna say when.
You get there.
If you can do all of that, then you can go fill out of job applications.
Okay, you can come up with a business plan.
As I've said to you all a million times, there is no right way to do the wrong thing. And if you can spend time and energy on doing something wrong, then you can spend time and energy on doing something right. It's that simple for me.
Okay.
It's one thing to just be a lazy bum with.
No drive, but it's another to have the drive but spend that time doing something dumb. Now, the reason I'm bringing this story up again is because I need to know how it ended. Okay, yeah, yeah, I know he was charged with grand theft in the first degree and robbery with a mask. I know he was charged in a their identical robbery from a Tiffany and Company store back in twenty twenty two. I know he is being held on forty eight separate failure to appear warrants.
But how did this story end?
See why elders in my life have told me in regards the trouble, this too shall pass, and that applies to your bowels as well. Okay, See, there is no such thing as a succes tessful crime when your escape plan involves digestion. When a man turns himself into a walking, talking treasure chest by swallowing over seven hundred thousand dollars in jewelry, you just have to wait for nature to take his course. And I got questions. Who was the detective assigned to this case that had to wait to collect the evidence? Do the earrings go back to Tiffany's? And can you completely wash fecal matter off diamonds? If I see those diamonds in the case and say those diamonds are the.
Guess what, whether I know it or not, I mean that literally?
Okay.
Digging through this man's fesis to collect this evidence is the.
Worst treasure hunt ever.
Will these diamonds cut this man's bunkie when he poops them out? Will Tiffany's get their merchandise back and label it lightly used?
In prison?
Will his nickname be little Jewelry Box or bling Bling Butt?
And if he doesn't tell other inmates those diamonds not in him anymore. How many inmates gonna want to go on a treasure hunt of their own as they need another reason to get in your ass in jail. I have so many questions that need answers, and I will be here patiently waiting on updates in the meantime. Please give Jathan Gilder the sweet sounds of the Hamiltons.
You oh the day, ye oh the day.
Ye It's never that serious, but I do have questions.
Update me please.
Well, I don't know if you realize, but people can swallow a lot of things and it actually poops out.
I know this.
In my uh in in my.
Book Real Life, Real Love, we talk about the time my daughter ate a penny and I had to do the same thing she had.
She pooped out, like nah, and you pooped. Every time you poop, you gotta go.
Through the pamp And I had to go through each pamper to see if I found that penny. And after the eleventh time, I found that penny. But when I called the doctor to see if she would actually passed, it was like, yeah, people pass all types of stuff, like people are passed nails, people are pasted dollars, people are pasted coins, people are passed diamonds.
That's your daughter swallow the penny. I'm sure by accident. This is a grown ass man who went to go swallow diamonds on purpose.
You wouldn't.
You wouldn't fish it out.
I got questions. I want to know how this. I want to know how it ended. There's more to this seven hundred thousand.
I wouldn't fish it in that day? Hm hmm.
And if it ain't coming out, we're gonna open the stomach.
What's up?
Well, I don't know if you could open the stop. Well, I guess you can.
It's probably be easier to let it come out the butt than to go in the stomach.
No, let it out the butt. You probably giving all types of laxatives and just let it.
You just wait there by the hole. Would you wait about the hole?
But you can't. You can't go on the toilet.
You gotta you gotta, you gotta wait about the hole.
Would you would you wait by the hole?
No?
I wouldn't wait by the hole? You would?
Well, if I had to get the seven hundred thousand, you gotta.
Wait position you had your legs up, spread them, Let's get it.
I don't want to put a hands mass. Come on, you'll catch it.
Catch right what you're talking about that? Stuff it down, now, would you?
No?
I'm doing okay, you're doing great as well. I'm doing great as well.
I get that down. I don't care who asses in.
I'm cool alright, Well, thank you for that. Donkey.
Donkey Today is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney Michael the Bull. Lamb is soft, don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on your side.
If you're ever injured, go.
To Michael to bull dot com. That's Michael the Bull dot com. And when you mess with the Bull.
You get the horns. Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club
