Emily talks with Brooke Bralove, LCSW-C, CST, a psychotherapist and certified sex therapist with over 20 years of experience. They look at what desire is, why it fades in long-term relationships, and practical ways to rebuild it. Topics include mismatched libidos, talking openly about sex, and exploring fantasy.

Timestamps
0:00 Introduction
0:20 What is desire?
2:53 What desire needs: presence, curiosity, safety
7:59 Pressure, obligation and expanding what sex means
11:42 Why desire decreases in long-term relationships
16:49 Mismatched libidos
22:51 Why we have sex, and arousal before desire
25:21 Talking about sex when you never have
28:02 Finding and understanding your fantasies
36:48 Sharing fantasies: the Yes/No/Maybe list
40:59 Final advice: owning your desire
43:04 What's orgasmic to Brooke
44:10 Where to find Brooke

Resources mentioned
Yes/No/Maybe list
Dipsea and Rosie (audio erotica apps)
Waking the Hand exercise by Betty Martin (search YouTube)



Get the Ultimate Sexual Wellness Bundle (all my resources/ebooks!!)

Want 10% off store products? Use code thatsorgasmic10

Submit your anonymous question for the podcast

Anonymous question link: https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast

FOLLOW US on Instagram @thatsorgasmic
Send your comments, questions and stories to: emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com

Interested in therapy? Book your free discovery call HERE with Emily at The Sexual Wellness Centre

Connect with Brooke Bralove
Website: brookebralove.com
Instagram: @brookebralovepsychotherapy

Emily talks with Brooke Bralove, LCSW-C, CST, a psychotherapist and certified sex therapist with over 20 years of experience. They look at what desire is, why it fades in long-term relationships, and practical ways to rebuild it. Topics include mismatched libidos, talking openly about sex, and exploring fantasy.
Timestamps
<ul data-md-block="list" data-md-list="tight">
<li>0:00 Introduction</li>
<li>0:20 What is desire?</li>
<li>2:53 What desire needs: presence, curiosity, safety</li>
<li>7:59 Pressure, obligation and expanding what sex means</li>
<li>11:42 Why desire decreases in long-term relationships</li>
<li>16:49 Mismatched libidos</li>
<li>22:51 Why we have sex, and arousal before desire</li>
<li>25:21 Talking about sex when you never have</li>
<li>28:02 Finding and understanding your fantasies</li>
<li>36:48 Sharing fantasies: the Yes/No/Maybe list</li>
<li>40:59 Final advice: owning your desire</li>
<li>43:04 What's orgasmic to Brooke</li>
<li>44:10 Where to find Brooke</li>
</ul>
Resources mentioned
<ul data-md-block="list" data-md-list="tight">
<li><a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/product-page/yes-no-maybe-list">Yes/No/Maybe list</a></li>
<li>Dipsea and Rosie (audio erotica apps)</li>
<li>Waking the Hand exercise by Betty Martin (search YouTube) 
Get the <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/product-page/ultimate-sexual-wellness-bundle">Ultimate Sexual Wellness Bundle</a> (all my resources/ebooks!!)
Want 10% off <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/category/all-products">store products</a>? Use code thatsorgasmic10
<a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast">Submit your anonymous question for the podcast</a>
Anonymous question link: <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast">https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast</a>
FOLLOW US on Instagram&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/thatsorgasmic/">@thatsorgasmic</a> Send your comments, questions and stories to: <a href="mailto:emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com">emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com</a>
Interested in therapy? Book your free discovery call&nbsp;<a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/booking">HERE</a> with Emily at <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/">The Sexual Wellness Centre</a>
</li>
</ul>
Connect with Brooke Bralove
<ul data-md-block="list" data-md-list="tight">
<li>Website: <a href="https://brookebralove.com/">brookebralove.com</a></li>
<li>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/brookebralovepsychotherapy/">@brookebralovepsychotherapy</a></li>
</ul>

A sex positive podcast that provides a shame free perspective on all things sex. Nothing is off bounds in this uncensored podcast, delving into all the juicy and taboo topics you can imagine. Most importantly this podcast aims to break down the stigmas surrounding sex and provide the tools to create a liberating sexual experience for everyone. Disclaimer: the educational information within this podcast does not take place of professional or medical advice. FOLLOW US on instagram @thatsorgasmic. Email your questions, stories and comments to: emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com

This podcast is created on the land of the Wadawurrung people, the traditional custodians of this land. I pay my respects to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Elders past and present. I acknowledge that it always was and always will be Aboriginal land.

That's Orgasmic with Sexologist Emily Duncan

That's Orgasmic

195 How to sustain desire in a long-term relationship with Brooke Bralove

In this episode, Emily talks with Amanda Dames, the Kink Consultant, about kink, dominance, and how to explore desires safely and authentically. They discuss:
Amanda’s journey from working as a dominatrix to becoming a sexologist and coach
Different dominant styles, including soft dom, caretaker, and disciplinarian
Why dominance is a skill
How to explore kink without pretending to be someone you’re not
Consent, negotiation, boundaries, and safe words
What to do when partners have different interests in kink

Get the Ultimate Sexual Wellness Bundle (all my resources/ebooks!!)

Want 10% off store products? Use code thatsorgasmic10

Submit your anonymous question for the podcast

Anonymous question link: https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast

FOLLOW US on Instagram @thatsorgasmic
Send your comments, questions and stories to: emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com

Interested in therapy? Book your free discovery call HERE with Emily at The Sexual Wellness Centre

Amanda's Links:
Website: https://www.amandadames.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekinkconsultant/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_kinkconsultant
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thekinkconsultant
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kink-consultant/id1766435920
Guide for couples with mismatched desire to have more open and honest conversations in a safe framework: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
BDSM Menu for couples who are curious to explore each other's kinks: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist

In this episode, Emily talks with Amanda Dames, the Kink Consultant, about kink, dominance, and how to explore desires safely and authentically. They discuss:
<ul data-md-block="list">
<li>Amanda&rsquo;s journey from working as a dominatrix to becoming a sexologist and coach</li>
<li>Different dominant styles, including soft dom, caretaker, and disciplinarian</li>
<li>Why dominance is a skill</li>
<li>How to explore kink without pretending to be someone you&rsquo;re not</li>
<li>Consent, negotiation, boundaries, and safe words</li>
<li>What to do when partners have different interests in kink</li>
</ul>
Get the <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/product-page/ultimate-sexual-wellness-bundle">Ultimate Sexual Wellness Bundle</a> (all my resources/ebooks!!)
Want 10% off <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/category/all-products">store products</a>? Use code thatsorgasmic10
<a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast">Submit your anonymous question for the podcast</a>
Anonymous question link: <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast">https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast</a>
FOLLOW US on Instagram&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/thatsorgasmic/">@thatsorgasmic</a> Send your comments, questions and stories to: <a href="mailto:emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com">emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com</a>
Interested in therapy? Book your free discovery call&nbsp;<a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/booking">HERE</a> with Emily at <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/">The Sexual Wellness Centre</a>
Amanda's Links:
<ul>
<li>Website: <a href="https://www.amandadames.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.amandadames.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1790787493986000&amp;usg=AOvVaw24jI45-3tCO6Phk36IMcO8">https://www.amandadames.com/</a></li>
<li>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1790787493986000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2TrnHCqIOluEgVFOw-vqwR">https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/</a></li>
<li>Facebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/thekinkconsultant/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.facebook.com/thekinkconsultant/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1790787493986000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0NGtQOtD6ssS1HBtx_DLTt">https://www.facebook.com/thekinkconsultant/</a></li>
<li>TikTok: <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@the_kinkconsultant" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.tiktok.com/@the_kinkconsultant&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1790787493986000&amp;usg=AOvVaw1iv_RSdvDJSWyKLScx5SW6">https://www.tiktok.com/@the_kinkconsultant</a></li>
<li>YouTube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@thekinkconsultant" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.youtube.com/@thekinkconsultant&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1790787493986000&amp;usg=AOvVaw18RCkiK4qTM3dJ1ejxu1-g">https://www.youtube.com/@thekinkconsultant</a></li>
<li>Podcast: <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kink-consultant/id1766435920" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kink-consultant/id1766435920&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1790787493986000&amp;usg=AOvVaw37O-ZgQqZ9MFTF5MJ7SRkA">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kink-consultant/id1766435920</a></li>
<li>Guide for couples with mismatched desire to have more open and honest conversations in a safe framework: <a href="https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1790787493986000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2YW9ulaoEumeqe1BR2X9Eh">https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1</a></li>
<li>BDSM Menu for couples who are curious to explore each other's kinks: <a href="https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1790787493986000&amp;usg=AOvVaw3WwGGyhyWaLI5JMZ576ALy">https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist</a></li>
</ul>

194 Exploring your dominant energy in the bedroom with Amanda Dames - The Kink Consultant

Shame around queer desire does not disappear just because you want it to. If you were raised in the church and are now trying to explore dating women for the first time, this episode gives you a practical way to untangle what was taught to you from what you actually want.

Emily, a sex and relationship therapist, answers a listener question from a woman in her early 30s who feels stuck between curiosity and shame. Emily breaks the problem into two parts: how to unpack religious shame, and how to take real, manageable steps toward dating women.

 

Get the Ultimate Sexual Wellness Bundle (all my resources/ebooks!!)

Want 10% off store products? Use code thatsorgasmic10

Submit your anonymous question for the podcast

Anonymous question link: https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast

FOLLOW US on Instagram @thatsorgasmic
Send your comments, questions and stories to: emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com

Interested in therapy? Book your free discovery call HERE with Emily at The Sexual Wellness Centre

 

Shame around queer desire does not disappear just because you want it to. If you were raised in the church and are now trying to explore dating women for the first time, this episode gives you a practical way to untangle what was taught to you from what you actually want.
Emily, a sex and relationship therapist, answers a listener question from a woman in her early 30s who feels stuck between curiosity and shame. Emily breaks the problem into two parts: how to unpack religious shame, and how to take real, manageable steps toward dating women.
&nbsp;
Get the <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/product-page/ultimate-sexual-wellness-bundle">Ultimate Sexual Wellness Bundle</a> (all my resources/ebooks!!)
Want 10% off <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/category/all-products">store products</a>? Use code thatsorgasmic10
<a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast">Submit your anonymous question for the podcast</a>
Anonymous question link: <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast">https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast</a>
FOLLOW US on Instagram&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/thatsorgasmic/">@thatsorgasmic</a> Send your comments, questions and stories to: <a href="mailto:emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com">emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com</a>
Interested in therapy? Book your free discovery call&nbsp;<a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/booking">HERE</a> with Emily at <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/">The Sexual Wellness Centre</a>
&nbsp;

193 I want to date women but I'm experiencing shame - Ask A Sexologist

Orgasms are not a finish line - they’re a state of being, and most women/AFAB have been taught the wrong way to access them. Sex and relationship therapist Emily sits down with sensual embodiment coach Emma Swain to unpack why so many people feel blocked, disappointed, or “not orgasmic,” and how to move from pressure and performance into real, sustained pleasure.

Emma challenges the idea that orgasm is just a physical peak and breaks it open into something much bigger: emotional release, energetic expansion, nervous system safety, and full-body surrender. If you’ve ever felt like your body “doesn’t work,” only orgasms with one specific method, or rushes straight to a quick climax and drops off, this conversation will shift the way you think about pleasure completely.

Emma’s Instagram

 

Get the Ultimate Sexual Wellness Bundle (all my resources/ebooks!!)

Want 10% off store products? Use code thatsorgasmic10

 

Submit your anonymous question for the podcast

Anonymous question link: https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast

FOLLOW US on Instagram @thatsorgasmic
Send your comments, questions and stories to: emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com

Interested in therapy? Book your free discovery call HERE with Emily at The Sexual Wellness Centre

Orgasms are not a finish line - they&rsquo;re a state of being, and most women/AFAB have been taught the wrong way to access them. Sex and relationship therapist Emily sits down with sensual embodiment coach Emma Swain to unpack why so many people feel blocked, disappointed, or &ldquo;not orgasmic,&rdquo; and how to move from pressure and performance into real, sustained pleasure.
Emma challenges the idea that orgasm is just a physical peak and breaks it open into something much bigger: emotional release, energetic expansion, nervous system safety, and full-body surrender. If you&rsquo;ve ever felt like your body &ldquo;doesn&rsquo;t work,&rdquo; only orgasms with one specific method, or rushes straight to a quick climax and drops off, this conversation will shift the way you think about pleasure completely.
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/emswain_coaching?stkn=OXR4Znc0MmtnZXB1">Emma&rsquo;s Instagram</a>
&nbsp;
Get the <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/product-page/ultimate-sexual-wellness-bundle">Ultimate Sexual Wellness Bundle</a> (all my resources/ebooks!!)
Want 10% off <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/category/all-products">store products</a>? Use code thatsorgasmic10
&nbsp;
<a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast">Submit your anonymous question for the podcast</a>
Anonymous question link: <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast">https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/podcast</a>
FOLLOW US on Instagram&nbsp;<a href="https://www.instagram.com/thatsorgasmic/">@thatsorgasmic</a> Send your comments, questions and stories to: <a href="mailto:emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com">emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com</a>
Interested in therapy? Book your free discovery call&nbsp;<a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/booking">HERE</a> with Emily at <a href="https://www.sexualwellnesscentre.com/">The Sexual Wellness Centre</a>

195 How to sustain desire in a long-term relationship with Brooke Bralove

That's Orgasmic

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