The first thing that we all do together is we say table read, and then we say the the title of the script that we're doing.

The first thing that we all do together is we say table read, and then we say the the title of the script that we're doing.

So all in unison, give me a table reading. Twelve Steps of Christmas, Ready go Love, Steps of Christmas.

So all in unison, give me a table reading. Twelve Steps of Christmas, Ready go Love, Steps of Christmas.

That you're the first cast that has done it with energy.

That you're the first cast that has done it with energy.

Christmas. Twelve Steps of Christmas written by Bryan Allen. Act one cell phone advertisement. Selfies flash on the screen. Young stylish, always surrounded by friends and having a time so great they need to share it with the world. The new me Phone thirteen GD with Mondo, FriendFinder and pass Perfect is your new best friend to stay connected with your friends. Hero shots of the phone confirm its social importance. We launch into testimonials California beach Day through the phone cam, Neo hipster girl snaps a selfie pass perfect. It's the only way to be your story. The image boom a filter turns into what appears to be literally a totally different person nearby the image dump boy took a selfie. Boom. The filter turns them into what is for sure a different, radically better person.

Christmas. Twelve Steps of Christmas written by Bryan Allen. Act one cell phone advertisement. Selfies flash on the screen. Young stylish, always surrounded by friends and having a time so great they need to share it with the world. The new me Phone thirteen GD with Mondo, FriendFinder and pass Perfect is your new best friend to stay connected with your friends. Hero shots of the phone confirm its social importance. We launch into testimonials California beach Day through the phone cam, Neo hipster girl snaps a selfie pass perfect. It's the only way to be your story. The image boom a filter turns into what appears to be literally a totally different person nearby the image dump boy took a selfie. Boom. The filter turns them into what is for sure a different, radically better person.

You think that again as a dumpy boy, I.

You think that again as a dumpy boy, I.

Kind of like.

Kind of like.

Doing nearby the image dumpy boy took a selfie boom. The filter turns them into what is for sure, a different, radically better person Mondo FriendFinder.

Doing nearby the image dumpy boy took a selfie boom. The filter turns them into what is for sure, a different, radically better person Mondo FriendFinder.

I swear the number of new friends you get just keeps growing and growing.

I swear the number of new friends you get just keeps growing and growing.

His self image joins others to form a pyramid on the screen. This is looking and sounding like the pyramid scheme.

His self image joins others to form a pyramid on the screen. This is looking and sounding like the pyramid scheme.

It is the more kids that want to be my friend, I get all their friends too, and then their freads, and then their friends. It just keeps cod freads.

It is the more kids that want to be my friend, I get all their friends too, and then their freads, and then their friends. It just keeps cod freads.

Some selfie images aren't included and drift alone pitifully.

Some selfie images aren't included and drift alone pitifully.

I can't imagine having a self image outside of the friendship pyramid.

I can't imagine having a self image outside of the friendship pyramid.

Zoom in on a stray selfies not part of pyramid. These lost souls seem so sad and alone. Pull out and see the ad is playing on interior red apartment kitchen morning a laptop in front of an odd Jake read thirteen Mixed Race Tough. One of these lost souls, it seems Jake ignores a hot breakfast while his mom, Ashley thirty four nursing scrubs rushes around their low rent row house apartment.

Zoom in on a stray selfies not part of pyramid. These lost souls seem so sad and alone. Pull out and see the ad is playing on interior red apartment kitchen morning a laptop in front of an odd Jake read thirteen Mixed Race Tough. One of these lost souls, it seems Jake ignores a hot breakfast while his mom, Ashley thirty four nursing scrubs rushes around their low rent row house apartment.

You know, if you promise, I'm getting a new GD thirteen with Mondo Framfinder. In past perfect. That could be my topic for class. A solid presentation is just a shot in the yarm.

You know, if you promise, I'm getting a new GD thirteen with Mondo Framfinder. In past perfect. That could be my topic for class. A solid presentation is just a shot in the yarm.

Migrades need. Ashley searches bear cupboards on the counter, open delivery boxes with products to improve home Christmas decorations, sheets, handles, and every cleaning product that exists.

Migrades need. Ashley searches bear cupboards on the counter, open delivery boxes with products to improve home Christmas decorations, sheets, handles, and every cleaning product that exists.

Did you eat all the soup? That's my lunch? I left the ones in the back the dollar store, three for ones.

Did you eat all the soup? That's my lunch? I left the ones in the back the dollar store, three for ones.

She reads the label on one and almost pukes.

She reads the label on one and almost pukes.

All I know is that every other Christmas I got my one big present.

All I know is that every other Christmas I got my one big present.

You sure about that? What do you mean you done with breakfast? Let's go grab your stuff. Jake gathers as things, including headphones. You cat me these? Bee you think I bought beats?

You sure about that? What do you mean you done with breakfast? Let's go grab your stuff. Jake gathers as things, including headphones. You cat me these? Bee you think I bought beats?

Sorry, dre, you've gone to knockoff interestingly sold to me by a lady from Papua.

Sorry, dre, you've gone to knockoff interestingly sold to me by a lady from Papua.

New Guinea downtown. The lady with the rug.

New Guinea downtown. The lady with the rug.

Yep, the lady with the rug. Hurry up, We're already late. I gotta get back.

Yep, the lady with the rug. Hurry up, We're already late. I gotta get back.

Jake ignores her, stops to pull his bike off a big pile of clutter under the stairs. What about my bike?

Jake ignores her, stops to pull his bike off a big pile of clutter under the stairs. What about my bike?

Your cousin James pink until he spray painted at Christmas Eve?

Your cousin James pink until he spray painted at Christmas Eve?

Oh way, Ashley has the door open, but Jake dives back into the mess.

Oh way, Ashley has the door open, but Jake dives back into the mess.

I can't tell you how much I love dragging you to school on my break.

I can't tell you how much I love dragging you to school on my break.

Jake holds up a large Legos box. What about my legos? You mean logos Yugoslavian?

Jake holds up a large Legos box. What about my legos? You mean logos Yugoslavian?

You never noticed the blocks only come in those drab browns and greens. The only color was in the propaganda posters.

You never noticed the blocks only come in those drab browns and greens. The only color was in the propaganda posters.

Close on the box shows a Legos like set of Communist era concrete factory, with propaganda posters above the workers.

Close on the box shows a Legos like set of Communist era concrete factory, with propaganda posters above the workers.

Uncle of Tito's self managed metallurgy factors. I guess the pieces never did really fit together.

Uncle of Tito's self managed metallurgy factors. I guess the pieces never did really fit together.

Ashley feudally gestures out the door as Jake digs deeper.

Ashley feudally gestures out the door as Jake digs deeper.

Technically, they even call this my meal break, because nothing warms the palette for discount soup like patients oozing from all sorts of surprising places for eight hours.

Technically, they even call this my meal break, because nothing warms the palette for discount soup like patients oozing from all sorts of surprising places for eight hours.

Still, I'd like a chance to eat who gross? Ashley smiles. With a plan, she starts sneaking up on Jake.

Still, I'd like a chance to eat who gross? Ashley smiles. With a plan, she starts sneaking up on Jake.

Yeah, I didn't even have time to change scrubs.

Yeah, I didn't even have time to change scrubs.

Jake doesn't notice her. He's focused on the unholy tickle me Elmo knock off. He holds. I always knew something was off with Zelmo Jake squeezes the deranged plush doll to prove his point. Hey, shid, stop with the tickling. What tickle mean? Zemo is totally real? Jake jumps back surprise. Oh what the hell? What? I just want to hug. Jake uses Zelmo to shield Ashley and her nesty scrubs.

Jake doesn't notice her. He's focused on the unholy tickle me Elmo knock off. He holds. I always knew something was off with Zelmo Jake squeezes the deranged plush doll to prove his point. Hey, shid, stop with the tickling. What tickle mean? Zemo is totally real? Jake jumps back surprise. Oh what the hell? What? I just want to hug. Jake uses Zelmo to shield Ashley and her nesty scrubs.

This one on my shoulder. Do you know what a perforated bowel is?

This one on my shoulder. Do you know what a perforated bowel is?

Oh?

Oh?

Oh?

Oh?

And this year know what this one is? We don't.

And this year know what this one is? We don't.

Oh I can tell you is that a lot of it was coming from poor missy out what do you think?

Oh I can tell you is that a lot of it was coming from poor missy out what do you think?

Ill?

Ill?

Stop? Okay, I'll go. Ashley lunges. Jake tosses Zelmo at her and uses the chance to escape out the door. He gives Zelmo a final squeeze close on Zelmo shakes with pained laughter and coughing fit joy to the world. Your guy is born puzzled off and I'll go tickle yourself, your pervert. Exterior red apartment day, This small New England city is covered with snow. Jake uses his forum to brush off the windshield of their Ford Fiesta hatchback while Ashley works the ice scraper. What's all the black? We see?

Stop? Okay, I'll go. Ashley lunges. Jake tosses Zelmo at her and uses the chance to escape out the door. He gives Zelmo a final squeeze close on Zelmo shakes with pained laughter and coughing fit joy to the world. Your guy is born puzzled off and I'll go tickle yourself, your pervert. Exterior red apartment day, This small New England city is covered with snow. Jake uses his forum to brush off the windshield of their Ford Fiesta hatchback while Ashley works the ice scraper. What's all the black? We see?

Jake is dressed in Hirely in black. There's a big basketball game. We're all supposed to wear the same color. It's a school pride thing.

Jake is dressed in Hirely in black. There's a big basketball game. We're all supposed to wear the same color. It's a school pride thing.

Next door neighbors Mary and Chris Call in Unison.

Next door neighbors Mary and Chris Call in Unison.

Hey neighbors marry Christmas.

Hey neighbors marry Christmas.

With their three daughters. They are the perfect Protestant family. In front of a Nativity scene, they wear matching food drive shirts and low donation bins into their suv gearing up for the food drive.

With their three daughters. They are the perfect Protestant family. In front of a Nativity scene, they wear matching food drive shirts and low donation bins into their suv gearing up for the food drive.

The pep rally is always huge, even if each kid only remembers one can.

The pep rally is always huge, even if each kid only remembers one can.

That's nine hundred from Jake's school alone.

That's nine hundred from Jake's school alone.

Ashley gives Jake an ugly look for not mentioning any of this, right.

Ashley gives Jake an ugly look for not mentioning any of this, right.

Yeah, of course, well it's not much. But I'll pop your charity cherry.

Yeah, of course, well it's not much. But I'll pop your charity cherry.

What does that mean? You got cherries? I love cherries. Ashley can't believe what she said. Daughter number two grabs the can.

What does that mean? You got cherries? I love cherries. Ashley can't believe what she said. Daughter number two grabs the can.

It's not cherries at soup South Delaware pork chowder, yuck.

It's not cherries at soup South Delaware pork chowder, yuck.

Ashley smiles awkwardly at Mary. Jake laughs to himself. Interior Ford Fiesta hatchback day. You can see their breath as they get in. Just pork. That's a little vague kind of pork. Do you think.

Ashley smiles awkwardly at Mary. Jake laughs to himself. Interior Ford Fiesta hatchback day. You can see their breath as they get in. Just pork. That's a little vague kind of pork. Do you think.

Delaware pork and none of that in North Delaware bullshit.

Delaware pork and none of that in North Delaware bullshit.

Either Interior Ford Fiesta hatchback. Moving later, Ashley drives silently until seemingly out of nowhere. I wish you mentioned the food drive. It looks like a horrible mother in person. I forgot.

Either Interior Ford Fiesta hatchback. Moving later, Ashley drives silently until seemingly out of nowhere. I wish you mentioned the food drive. It looks like a horrible mother in person. I forgot.

You know, they actually built that thing in their yard, like with wood and paint and everything.

You know, they actually built that thing in their yard, like with wood and paint and everything.

How do you compete with that? What are you talking about?

How do you compete with that? What are you talking about?

The neighbors the you know, like when Jesus was born?

The neighbors the you know, like when Jesus was born?

I forget the name.

I forget the name.

The Jesus farm thing?

The Jesus farm thing?

Wow, Mom, like organically grown Jesus little heads of Christ cabbage.

Wow, Mom, like organically grown Jesus little heads of Christ cabbage.

Pretty sure you mean the manger. Don't we just call those barns now? Or is it something different? Point?

Pretty sure you mean the manger. Don't we just call those barns now? Or is it something different? Point?

Is they made it? We need a Jesus somewhere for my mom to see.

Is they made it? We need a Jesus somewhere for my mom to see.

You're way too stressed out about Grandma coming over. She's not gonna notice stuff like.

You're way too stressed out about Grandma coming over. She's not gonna notice stuff like.

That, trust me.

That, trust me.

Ever, since I was little, my mother's been very good at noticing things.

Ever, since I was little, my mother's been very good at noticing things.

Shall I add it to the list? Then?

Shall I add it to the list? Then?

Sure?

Sure?

Order one Baby Jesus Christ, our Farm, Fresh Lord and Xavior.

Order one Baby Jesus Christ, our Farm, Fresh Lord and Xavior.

Jake reads down the rest of the list.

Jake reads down the rest of the list.

This is a lot of fancy crap you're buying nebulizing diffuser with bluetooth whatever a demi task spoons are okay, altra plush toilet paper with allo invitamin e really TP vitamins.

This is a lot of fancy crap you're buying nebulizing diffuser with bluetooth whatever a demi task spoons are okay, altra plush toilet paper with allo invitamin e really TP vitamins.

Ashley turns into the school parking circle and begins battling for position. Why don't we do, Chris said, Grandma's like always, Ashley is hurt, becomes defensive. I think it can be just as good at our house, don't you. Jake nods, feigning confidence. Eksteri spirot agnew middle school day. Ashley slams on the brakes inches short of hitting Ryan the Rhino, the high energy baby blue school mascot. The hell is that Ryan continues dancing as if nothing happened.

Ashley turns into the school parking circle and begins battling for position. Why don't we do, Chris said, Grandma's like always, Ashley is hurt, becomes defensive. I think it can be just as good at our house, don't you. Jake nods, feigning confidence. Eksteri spirot agnew middle school day. Ashley slams on the brakes inches short of hitting Ryan the Rhino, the high energy baby blue school mascot. The hell is that Ryan continues dancing as if nothing happened.

That's Ryan the Rhino. It used to be the Redskins, but we had to change it. They wanted the new one to be an endangered species, and so Ryan the white Rhino.

That's Ryan the Rhino. It used to be the Redskins, but we had to change it. They wanted the new one to be an endangered species, and so Ryan the white Rhino.

But he's a blue rhino.

But he's a blue rhino.

Turns out him being white was also oppressive, but in like the opposite way.

Turns out him being white was also oppressive, but in like the opposite way.

Oh why is a rhino dancing around to a song about dogs?

Oh why is a rhino dancing around to a song about dogs?

Isn't that speciesiest?

Isn't that speciesiest?

On game days he comes around to every class. You have no idea how pumped up people get me want to put.

On game days he comes around to every class. You have no idea how pumped up people get me want to put.

Ashley looks at students socializing outside the two story brick school. They all wear the school color, baby blue. Everyone's in blue. A school pride thing.

Ashley looks at students socializing outside the two story brick school. They all wear the school color, baby blue. Everyone's in blue. A school pride thing.

What lack of school pride is? A former school pride?

What lack of school pride is? A former school pride?

Interior spirot Agnew Middle School classroom day. Jake sits in the back, wearing black and a sea of pastel. School spirit. Presentations are underway on the whiteboard. What are you celebrating this holiday season? Sophia thirteen, two Peppy Presents.

Interior spirot Agnew Middle School classroom day. Jake sits in the back, wearing black and a sea of pastel. School spirit. Presentations are underway on the whiteboard. What are you celebrating this holiday season? Sophia thirteen, two Peppy Presents.

I'm celebrating spiro ta Agnew Middle School, where I get to spend all day with all of my friends.

I'm celebrating spiro ta Agnew Middle School, where I get to spend all day with all of my friends.

Her friends in class, Beam.

Her friends in class, Beam.

I'm celebrating today's pet Rowley for Ryan, our beloved Rhino, and for our basketball team.

I'm celebrating today's pet Rowley for Ryan, our beloved Rhino, and for our basketball team.

A few jersey wearing basketball players. Beam.

A few jersey wearing basketball players. Beam.

And I'm especially celebrating life management skills with mister Bucket, because you help us manage school and life and stuff.

And I'm especially celebrating life management skills with mister Bucket, because you help us manage school and life and stuff.

Mister Bucket, forty red faced Bucket like beans, Jake plays the game Snake and of his old Nokia under his desk. Chad basketball player, a Dick, and Mia Cute also a dick, are laughing at Jake. To them, it looks like he's jerking off. I swear, Look, he's jerking off. Do you think that he can.

Mister Bucket, forty red faced Bucket like beans, Jake plays the game Snake and of his old Nokia under his desk. Chad basketball player, a Dick, and Mia Cute also a dick, are laughing at Jake. To them, it looks like he's jerking off. I swear, Look, he's jerking off. Do you think that he can.

Waves wutes for that?

Waves wutes for that?

I was trying to clear. I swear, Look, he's jerking off. Do you think that he can even watch porn on that thing? Porn on you? Porn? Yeah? You call me?

I was trying to clear. I swear, Look, he's jerking off. Do you think that he can even watch porn on that thing? Porn on you? Porn? Yeah? You call me?

I am faty? Now can you please back again? That's the angle that got me going.

I am faty? Now can you please back again? That's the angle that got me going.

They have zero idea how to respond. You're so freaking gross. Mister Bucket notices the disturbance. They're a problem back there.

They have zero idea how to respond. You're so freaking gross. Mister Bucket notices the disturbance. They're a problem back there.

Yes, these two aren't being very sex positive. For one, I'm feeling very shamed.

Yes, these two aren't being very sex positive. For one, I'm feeling very shamed.

Then why don't you come up front where you'll be safe? Jake reluctantly heads to the front. Okay, Jake, you're always so good at telling us what you don't like. Can you think of one thing you do well?

Then why don't you come up front where you'll be safe? Jake reluctantly heads to the front. Okay, Jake, you're always so good at telling us what you don't like. Can you think of one thing you do well?

Sophia pretty much covered it right. It's all worth so much appreciation.

Sophia pretty much covered it right. It's all worth so much appreciation.

Yay, y'allady. Jake doesn't know what to say. He's vulnerable and exposed. Suddenly a song Suddenly, who let the Dogs Out? Announces Ryan as he Jock jam dances into the classroom. You gotta be effing kidding more. Jake tries to use the moment to flee, but Ryan molests him with a pumped up man Scott dance. Come on, Jake, where's your spirit? Kids laugh as Ryan playfully charges Jake with his horn, Jake decides to engage.

Yay, y'allady. Jake doesn't know what to say. He's vulnerable and exposed. Suddenly a song Suddenly, who let the Dogs Out? Announces Ryan as he Jock jam dances into the classroom. You gotta be effing kidding more. Jake tries to use the moment to flee, but Ryan molests him with a pumped up man Scott dance. Come on, Jake, where's your spirit? Kids laugh as Ryan playfully charges Jake with his horn, Jake decides to engage.

Okay, personally, I want to celebrate Ryan the Rhino here because unlike our basketball team, he isn't too white to be great Jake.

Okay, personally, I want to celebrate Ryan the Rhino here because unlike our basketball team, he isn't too white to be great Jake.

Jake knocks Ryan back with a hard elbow to the chest.

Jake knocks Ryan back with a hard elbow to the chest.

I want to celebrate spending all day with all of you, my friends, especially Nia. You think I'm gross. You're so freaking gross that when you masturbate it's non consensual.

I want to celebrate spending all day with all of you, my friends, especially Nia. You think I'm gross. You're so freaking gross that when you masturbate it's non consensual.

No more dancing. The mood has changed.

No more dancing. The mood has changed.

And I for sure want to celebrate life management skills with mister Bucket.

And I for sure want to celebrate life management skills with mister Bucket.

To your credit, you do get us a study.

To your credit, you do get us a study.

Because holy fuck ending up like he was scarce to shut out of us.

Because holy fuck ending up like he was scarce to shut out of us.

Ryan shoves Jake and turns off the jew the boombox old school. Ryan shoves Jake and turns off the boombox. It could end here, but when Jake looks around, he doesn't see one kind face. They all record with their nice cell phones, so Jake snaps and rushes Ryan. Rhinoceros are surprisingly agile fighters with thick protective skin. Jake is caught by its mighty horn, but then he lands an uppercut under the mask and that ends it. Ryan falls back, the mascot head falling off as he hits the floor, revealing Erica Cross fourteen stout a girl. By the time Jake has processed that he just hit a girl, Chad is already helping her up. Jake can't believe what he did. Interior Principal McGriff's office day, Jake sits across the large desk of Principal McGriff thirties.

Ryan shoves Jake and turns off the jew the boombox old school. Ryan shoves Jake and turns off the boombox. It could end here, but when Jake looks around, he doesn't see one kind face. They all record with their nice cell phones, so Jake snaps and rushes Ryan. Rhinoceros are surprisingly agile fighters with thick protective skin. Jake is caught by its mighty horn, but then he lands an uppercut under the mask and that ends it. Ryan falls back, the mascot head falling off as he hits the floor, revealing Erica Cross fourteen stout a girl. By the time Jake has processed that he just hit a girl, Chad is already helping her up. Jake can't believe what he did. Interior Principal McGriff's office day, Jake sits across the large desk of Principal McGriff thirties.

You have an attitude problem. I see it in kids every day, but they don't follow through things like you do.

You have an attitude problem. I see it in kids every day, but they don't follow through things like you do.

That sounds like a positive thing, though I follow through.

That sounds like a positive thing, though I follow through.

H You're one of the smartest kids in your class, but you fight, you swear, you don't seem to care about anything at all.

H You're one of the smartest kids in your class, but you fight, you swear, you don't seem to care about anything at all.

Jake likes that list.

Jake likes that list.

He seemed to be at war with everything and everybody all the time.

He seemed to be at war with everything and everybody all the time.

Isn't that exhausting? This one hits Jake, but he plays tough. No, I don't care, No, I don't care.

Isn't that exhausting? This one hits Jake, but he plays tough. No, I don't care, No, I don't care.

We've already tried suspending you. Maybe it's time to look at changing your environment like expelled.

We've already tried suspending you. Maybe it's time to look at changing your environment like expelled.

No way, my mom would freak Jake anxiously watches Principal McGriff decide his verdict.

No way, my mom would freak Jake anxiously watches Principal McGriff decide his verdict.

For now, we'll say you're suspended until break.

For now, we'll say you're suspended until break.

That's a couple of days to cool off. I can be good, I swear.

That's a couple of days to cool off. I can be good, I swear.

I'm not sure you can.

I'm not sure you can.

Jake takes this in.

Jake takes this in.

Get control of yourself. Any more of this and we'll have to look at more extreme measures. This is your final warning.

Get control of yourself. Any more of this and we'll have to look at more extreme measures. This is your final warning.

Principal McGriff picks up the phone and dials interior redepartment living room day. Ashley storms in with Jake, following it's not fair. Kid's made fun of me and clam up. They react to your reactions. You react to that. You have the mentality of a little I'm just supposed to take it.

Principal McGriff picks up the phone and dials interior redepartment living room day. Ashley storms in with Jake, following it's not fair. Kid's made fun of me and clam up. They react to your reactions. You react to that. You have the mentality of a little I'm just supposed to take it.

Life has bullies, Jake and disappointments, god knows, Get used to it.

Life has bullies, Jake and disappointments, god knows, Get used to it.

Jake feels guilty by the.

Jake feels guilty by the.

Way leaving work to pick you up from suspension does not help you get some super expensive phone that's not looking great right now.

Way leaving work to pick you up from suspension does not help you get some super expensive phone that's not looking great right now.

Jake is selfishly alarmed, and he begins to play an angle. I'm sorry, honest, I'm sorry. Mom, Ashley needed this, not sensing Jake's intent, Do you really think I can pull this off. Jake walks over, seeing behind her that the place is a wreck.

Jake is selfishly alarmed, and he begins to play an angle. I'm sorry, honest, I'm sorry. Mom, Ashley needed this, not sensing Jake's intent, Do you really think I can pull this off. Jake walks over, seeing behind her that the place is a wreck.

Don't worry, We'll get everything super nice. I can help out. We can totally show this place off. But why don't we give ourselves a bit more time, something more realistic, like Easter or even just New Year's We can start a whole new tradition.

Don't worry, We'll get everything super nice. I can help out. We can totally show this place off. But why don't we give ourselves a bit more time, something more realistic, like Easter or even just New Year's We can start a whole new tradition.

What oh, I get it, as long as nothing messes with Christmas at Grandma's or You're one big present, right.

What oh, I get it, as long as nothing messes with Christmas at Grandma's or You're one big present, right.

Jake is caught and they both know it.

Jake is caught and they both know it.

Unbelievable, Jake, if we can't even have each other's back, but who cares where we have it?

Unbelievable, Jake, if we can't even have each other's back, but who cares where we have it?

Ashley does very much.

Ashley does very much.

Not for nothing now that it's just you and me here. I thought we could host for once.

Not for nothing now that it's just you and me here. I thought we could host for once.

Jake walks over to the boxes of stuff. Ashley order why.

Jake walks over to the boxes of stuff. Ashley order why.

I spend so much money on this fancy stuff? Plus then being all bity with me, like any of this is my fault?

I spend so much money on this fancy stuff? Plus then being all bity with me, like any of this is my fault?

Doesn't know how to respond. She checks the time.

Doesn't know how to respond. She checks the time.

Now I'm supposed to be a bad mother because I need to get back to work.

Now I'm supposed to be a bad mother because I need to get back to work.

Maybe this is all my faults.

Maybe this is all my faults.

I'm not around enough or patient enough or something crazy bullshit like this doesn't happen with other moms, only me, man, I know I never had fights like this with my mother.

I'm not around enough or patient enough or something crazy bullshit like this doesn't happen with other moms, only me, man, I know I never had fights like this with my mother.

Exactly.

Exactly.

You're doing all this stuff to make our place as good as Grandma's.

You're doing all this stuff to make our place as good as Grandma's.

Why pretend this hits Ashley hard? It's perfect there. Ashley is at a loss, then is struck by something. Christ feels like I'm fighting with your father. At least the court could force him to change with AA, I don't know what to.

Why pretend this hits Ashley hard? It's perfect there. Ashley is at a loss, then is struck by something. Christ feels like I'm fighting with your father. At least the court could force him to change with AA, I don't know what to.

Do with you at this rate. You're never getting a fancy smartphone. Ashley walks away, and moments later, Adore slams an old ceramic Santa statue, falls off the mantle and breaks Santa's rosy cheek smile that shattered into pieces. Jake bolts exterior red apartment. Jake flies out the door and takes off exterior town Streets Day, running down a street lined with rowhouses, cutting across front yards and baseball fields until a red light stops him at a crosswalk with other pedestrians. He can't stand waiting. He tries to clear brown slush, but falls short and splashes everywhere. No time to apologize, he dodges traffic, continues his sprint exterior town square Day. The whole town is beautifully decked out for Christmas. Lights hang on small trees, Christmas music plays in the air, Shoppers and cars create the usual holiday hustle and bustle. Jake cuts in and out of the excitement until exterior mall Day. He finally arrives at his destination, the mall interior mall line for Santa Day. Underneath a frounty Elf costume, Carl thirty eight puts the fun in functional alcoholic keeps over excited kids under control. You can tell Carl loves Christmas, but all that good cheers snaps sour when he sees a disturbance in line. In line, two bullies kids too cool for Santa cut in front of excited younger kids full of Christmas spear hunter, Hey, no cuts. They turn and tower over the terrified protester. What did you say? I? Oh my, I just a voice from behind? Are you tiny? Townies? Carl is one righteously pissed elf. As the bullies turn, Karl digs into his pocket and pulls out a soiled bar napkin.

Do with you at this rate. You're never getting a fancy smartphone. Ashley walks away, and moments later, Adore slams an old ceramic Santa statue, falls off the mantle and breaks Santa's rosy cheek smile that shattered into pieces. Jake bolts exterior red apartment. Jake flies out the door and takes off exterior town Streets Day, running down a street lined with rowhouses, cutting across front yards and baseball fields until a red light stops him at a crosswalk with other pedestrians. He can't stand waiting. He tries to clear brown slush, but falls short and splashes everywhere. No time to apologize, he dodges traffic, continues his sprint exterior town square Day. The whole town is beautifully decked out for Christmas. Lights hang on small trees, Christmas music plays in the air, Shoppers and cars create the usual holiday hustle and bustle. Jake cuts in and out of the excitement until exterior mall Day. He finally arrives at his destination, the mall interior mall line for Santa Day. Underneath a frounty Elf costume, Carl thirty eight puts the fun in functional alcoholic keeps over excited kids under control. You can tell Carl loves Christmas, but all that good cheers snaps sour when he sees a disturbance in line. In line, two bullies kids too cool for Santa cut in front of excited younger kids full of Christmas spear hunter, Hey, no cuts. They turn and tower over the terrified protester. What did you say? I? Oh my, I just a voice from behind? Are you tiny? Townies? Carl is one righteously pissed elf. As the bullies turn, Karl digs into his pocket and pulls out a soiled bar napkin.

See this, you know what this is? This is the Naughty List. Do you know what happens when you do bad shit? Bad shit equals bad results. That's not real dirty. Of course it's dirty. It's the naughty List for Christ's sake.

See this, you know what this is? This is the Naughty List. Do you know what happens when you do bad shit? Bad shit equals bad results. That's not real dirty. Of course it's dirty. It's the naughty List for Christ's sake.

Logic checks out, can't deny it. Carl checks the list, and you ain't getting shit, loser. You're not Santa, you're heard elf. You don't know. Yeah, I'm a fucking elf, the head elf. I report directly to Santa.

Logic checks out, can't deny it. Carl checks the list, and you ain't getting shit, loser. You're not Santa, you're heard elf. You don't know. Yeah, I'm a fucking elf, the head elf. I report directly to Santa.

I handle everything from his gambling debts to suppressing talk of union. This list tells me all sorts of things. I can even tell the future. You know what it says about you?

I handle everything from his gambling debts to suppressing talk of union. This list tells me all sorts of things. I can even tell the future. You know what it says about you?

It says you're peeking. Look around you? What are you like? Seven? Eight? This is as good as it gets for your kid. You smell funny, so do you? We all smell funny.

It says you're peeking. Look around you? What are you like? Seven? Eight? This is as good as it gets for your kid. You smell funny, so do you? We all smell funny.

Maybe you think some toy can make you forget the stench of your failed little life.

Maybe you think some toy can make you forget the stench of your failed little life.

I want a wife, flak or scooter, but it can't.

I want a wife, flak or scooter, but it can't.

No toy can do the trick. Look, you're in the caterpillar stage. Soon you'll spin a cocoon out of your own bullshit and your fear of anyone with purpose, until you emerge a beautiful, fully formed towny nearby.

No toy can do the trick. Look, you're in the caterpillar stage. Soon you'll spin a cocoon out of your own bullshit and your fear of anyone with purpose, until you emerge a beautiful, fully formed towny nearby.

Jake isn't sure what to think, but he's definitely amused. In line, Carl continues to lay into Bully number one. Classic Towny.

Jake isn't sure what to think, but he's definitely amused. In line, Carl continues to lay into Bully number one. Classic Towny.

You'll know the exact price of gas all over town, even though you can't drive because you rolled your mom's forward escort and got your third d UI. You'll get out of hand at all the JV football games, even though you don't have a kid in the game.

You'll know the exact price of gas all over town, even though you can't drive because you rolled your mom's forward escort and got your third d UI. You'll get out of hand at all the JV football games, even though you don't have a kid in the game.

This could be the end of it, but Carl takes it too far. Twice is bad for you.

This could be the end of it, but Carl takes it too far. Twice is bad for you.

Pretty soon, you'll figure out the reason you look like a water buffalo's because Mommy liked Off brand schnops more than she liked being pregnant with you.

Pretty soon, you'll figure out the reason you look like a water buffalo's because Mommy liked Off brand schnops more than she liked being pregnant with you.

Bully number two begins to cry. Colombn Angel twenties Mexican mal Santa pulls Carl away. He has a thick accent and is difficult to understand.

Bully number two begins to cry. Colombn Angel twenties Mexican mal Santa pulls Carl away. He has a thick accent and is difficult to understand.

Hey, come on, bro, shift toward cal Ma demienfo Hey, what we talk about?

Hey, come on, bro, shift toward cal Ma demienfo Hey, what we talk about?

Bro? Hey, phileas Merry Christmas? Cant Hey, that's up? Well, children, it's Santo Claus. Angel leads Carl towards a nearby hallway. I don't say that, kids think you're racist. I'm not racist. Santa is the racist.

Bro? Hey, phileas Merry Christmas? Cant Hey, that's up? Well, children, it's Santo Claus. Angel leads Carl towards a nearby hallway. I don't say that, kids think you're racist. I'm not racist. Santa is the racist.

All the fine fine gifts for all the well scrubbed lily white shoulder in Connecticut. Now compare that to what Paco, a village boy in western Bolivia, what he will be opening up Christmas morning.

All the fine fine gifts for all the well scrubbed lily white shoulder in Connecticut. Now compare that to what Paco, a village boy in western Bolivia, what he will be opening up Christmas morning.

Remember, while we talk about your b oh man, can't get fired again.

Remember, while we talk about your b oh man, can't get fired again.

Don't fuck up. Jake hurries to follow Carl into hallway to bathrooms. Jake watches an exhaust said Carl take off his green jacket and elf hat, then kick off his elf shoes. He takes a big swig from a bottle of soda as he leans against the wall. Hey, there, Santa's overgrown little helper. Sorry, kid, this elf is off as Mary clock. Carl turns and sees his son, Jake. Holy shit, Jake. Carl rushes over and hugs him. Jake is not super huggy. They talk past each other, Jake launching into his problem, and Carl confused but happy to see his kid. It's been a whole year of listening.

Don't fuck up. Jake hurries to follow Carl into hallway to bathrooms. Jake watches an exhaust said Carl take off his green jacket and elf hat, then kick off his elf shoes. He takes a big swig from a bottle of soda as he leans against the wall. Hey, there, Santa's overgrown little helper. Sorry, kid, this elf is off as Mary clock. Carl turns and sees his son, Jake. Holy shit, Jake. Carl rushes over and hugs him. Jake is not super huggy. They talk past each other, Jake launching into his problem, and Carl confused but happy to see his kid. It's been a whole year of listening.

Well, your balls are falling, you get hardened, class chafing too much from the too.

Well, your balls are falling, you get hardened, class chafing too much from the too.

Much Jesus, it's nothing to do with my dick.

Much Jesus, it's nothing to do with my dick.

I just figured it's gotta be something your mom can help with.

I just figured it's gotta be something your mom can help with.

Listen to me I'm not going to get what I want for Christmas.

Listen to me I'm not going to get what I want for Christmas.

You know I'm not really an elf right, and this whole Santa song and dance it's truthfully.

You know I'm not really an elf right, and this whole Santa song and dance it's truthfully.

No, No, I need your help. I need mom to like me so I can get what I want this year. Teach me how I can make her happy.

No, No, I need your help. I need mom to like me so I can get what I want this year. Teach me how I can make her happy.

I'm probably the worst pick for that one, exactly.

I'm probably the worst pick for that one, exactly.

I need you to teach me how to not be you. This hits Carl.

I need you to teach me how to not be you. This hits Carl.

Wow, I'm flattered you want my help, but it's for literally the most insulting reason possible.

Wow, I'm flattered you want my help, but it's for literally the most insulting reason possible.

We're fighting really bad. Everyone fights with their mom. How bad can it be? It's like you guys used to. Carl knows how bad that is.

We're fighting really bad. Everyone fights with their mom. How bad can it be? It's like you guys used to. Carl knows how bad that is.

I'm sort of afraid I can't change, but you were able to.

I'm sort of afraid I can't change, but you were able to.

Mom said so Ashley's opinion of him is big news to Carl.

Mom said so Ashley's opinion of him is big news to Carl.

She said that, yeah, that you're way different now because of that twelve step thing.

She said that, yeah, that you're way different now because of that twelve step thing.

Right, Carl confirms with a small, uncertain nod.

Right, Carl confirms with a small, uncertain nod.

Teach me switch drinking with whatever I do that pisses off Mom. If it works for you, then it could work for me.

Teach me switch drinking with whatever I do that pisses off Mom. If it works for you, then it could work for me.

We can't even be seen together. My po would flip. It was part of the whole divorce shebang.

We can't even be seen together. My po would flip. It was part of the whole divorce shebang.

We can sneak. We have less than a week. Can you help me or not?

We can sneak. We have less than a week. Can you help me or not?

The twelve steps aren't really designed for kids. Do you even care that I might not get my me phone? Do you care about me? Or are you the same as before? Harl looks at his son's pleading face. Of course I care. I can help you said it. I'm a change man.

The twelve steps aren't really designed for kids. Do you even care that I might not get my me phone? Do you care about me? Or are you the same as before? Harl looks at his son's pleading face. Of course I care. I can help you said it. I'm a change man.

Jake lights up and smiles at an unsure curl interior, Red apartment living room. Morning. Ashley folds a mountain of laundry behind her. Jake puts on his coat and heads to the door.

Jake lights up and smiles at an unsure curl interior, Red apartment living room. Morning. Ashley folds a mountain of laundry behind her. Jake puts on his coat and heads to the door.

Mom, do you not understand how this whole being grounded thing works?

Mom, do you not understand how this whole being grounded thing works?

I do?

I do?

I just I really want to help with the food drive. I figure I have all this extra time now.

I just I really want to help with the food drive. I figure I have all this extra time now.

Ashley is surprised, then considers. Jake displays the can of soup in his hand.

Ashley is surprised, then considers. Jake displays the can of soup in his hand.

Okay, I'll be at work when you get back. You need to handle dinner on your own. Maybe be on a lookout for some tasty in the collection. Ben, you're needy too, you know, Thanks.

Okay, I'll be at work when you get back. You need to handle dinner on your own. Maybe be on a lookout for some tasty in the collection. Ben, you're needy too, you know, Thanks.

Mom. Jake smiles and heads out. Interior Carl's apartment bedroom day. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas By Ben Crosby plays as camera navigates artifacts of an alcoholics life, discarded shirts on their third round of booze, sweat, confusing trash, one elf shoe, empty bottles of seagrum seven whiskey. Camera finds the music we hear is Carl's phone alarm, which he's ignoring. He sleeps in the wrong direction on a stained mattress, wearing boxers and one remaining elf shoe. The cell rings. He closes one eye to read blocked number. Fuck, I think I know this block number. He turns over and ignores it until thing voicemail alert. He curses to himself and plays it on speaker.

Mom. Jake smiles and heads out. Interior Carl's apartment bedroom day. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas By Ben Crosby plays as camera navigates artifacts of an alcoholics life, discarded shirts on their third round of booze, sweat, confusing trash, one elf shoe, empty bottles of seagrum seven whiskey. Camera finds the music we hear is Carl's phone alarm, which he's ignoring. He sleeps in the wrong direction on a stained mattress, wearing boxers and one remaining elf shoe. The cell rings. He closes one eye to read blocked number. Fuck, I think I know this block number. He turns over and ignores it until thing voicemail alert. He curses to himself and plays it on speaker.

Carl missing a meeting with your parole officer is a very bad thing. Why because I'm judge jury and bribable prison guard who can let.

Carl missing a meeting with your parole officer is a very bad thing. Why because I'm judge jury and bribable prison guard who can let.

Carl sits up, looks around at his life and sighs. It also means extra work for me. I hate that puts.

Carl sits up, looks around at his life and sighs. It also means extra work for me. I hate that puts.

Me in a mood.

Me in a mood.

Carl gets on his feet. Bathroom toilet, trees and laundry are everywhere. The counter is covered with loose change, gum, lighters and bits of garbage. Carl inspects his face in the mirror. He tests from different angles, but there is no hiding his wrecked appearance.

Carl gets on his feet. Bathroom toilet, trees and laundry are everywhere. The counter is covered with loose change, gum, lighters and bits of garbage. Carl inspects his face in the mirror. He tests from different angles, but there is no hiding his wrecked appearance.

Looking for us for me anyway, you're so consistent in missing your performance markers, I don't feel.

Looking for us for me anyway, you're so consistent in missing your performance markers, I don't feel.

The need to come out. Kitchen Carl discovers a half eaten breakfas sandwich and a dunkin Donuts wrapper. He brushes it off before taking a bite. Hey, it is breakfast.

The need to come out. Kitchen Carl discovers a half eaten breakfas sandwich and a dunkin Donuts wrapper. He brushes it off before taking a bite. Hey, it is breakfast.

Let's go down on our list here. Number one general upkeep. I envisioned a new layer of clutter on top of the old one. I could count them like rings on a tree to date the last time you tied it up.

Let's go down on our list here. Number one general upkeep. I envisioned a new layer of clutter on top of the old one. I could count them like rings on a tree to date the last time you tied it up.

Looking around, Carl must concede. Jordan nailed it. Exterior Carl's apartment day. Jake puts down his bike and knocks on the door. Interior Carl's apartment Kitchen day. Carl finds a glass of whiskey coke and inspects it against the light. He grabs a coffee mug and pours a drink back and forth between the two cups like a science experiment.

Looking around, Carl must concede. Jordan nailed it. Exterior Carl's apartment day. Jake puts down his bike and knocks on the door. Interior Carl's apartment Kitchen day. Carl finds a glass of whiskey coke and inspects it against the light. He grabs a coffee mug and pours a drink back and forth between the two cups like a science experiment.

Number two Ay meetings Ben Danny, Uh.

Number two Ay meetings Ben Danny, Uh.

I actually miss hearing you lie. Allows me to pretend you take this seriously. Carl drinks from the mud grimaces at the taste. Three, job search, I have a job, thank you.

I actually miss hearing you lie. Allows me to pretend you take this seriously. Carl drinks from the mud grimaces at the taste. Three, job search, I have a job, thank you.

A budding career is a mall, Santas Lackey isn't what I'm looking for.

A budding career is a mall, Santas Lackey isn't what I'm looking for.

Exterior Carl's Apartment Day. Jake fogs the window as he cups his hands and peeks inside. Interior Carl's apartment living room day. Carl collapses onto the couch.

Exterior Carl's Apartment Day. Jake fogs the window as he cups his hands and peeks inside. Interior Carl's apartment living room day. Carl collapses onto the couch.

Fourth, and most importantly, new offenses.

Fourth, and most importantly, new offenses.

None knock one proud of that?

None knock one proud of that?

Are we?

Are we?

Until I met you, I didn't know a person to be so smug and defeat.

Until I met you, I didn't know a person to be so smug and defeat.

Carl drinks to hell.

Carl drinks to hell.

What's the point Even if you try to be less of a fuck up, you probably just fucked.

What's the point Even if you try to be less of a fuck up, you probably just fucked.

That up to loud angry knocks startle Carl. Exterior Carl's Apartment Day. Jake waits. Carl opens the door, still in the middle of putting on one of those dirty T shirts from the floor. Jake can only conclude, you forgot what don't always assume the worst. That's crazy, boy. You do need help. We should get started right away. Come in. Jake walks in, pissed off. Interior Carl's apartment living room continuous. Carl scrambles to hide signs of drinking. He notices the soup you brought lunch. Mom thinks I'm helping with the canned food drive. Okay, well here they do donations at them all. Okay, good. I felt bad about that part.

That up to loud angry knocks startle Carl. Exterior Carl's Apartment Day. Jake waits. Carl opens the door, still in the middle of putting on one of those dirty T shirts from the floor. Jake can only conclude, you forgot what don't always assume the worst. That's crazy, boy. You do need help. We should get started right away. Come in. Jake walks in, pissed off. Interior Carl's apartment living room continuous. Carl scrambles to hide signs of drinking. He notices the soup you brought lunch. Mom thinks I'm helping with the canned food drive. Okay, well here they do donations at them all. Okay, good. I felt bad about that part.

Sorry, it's a tad MESSI you got a bit of a late start, but I got my coffee here and ready roll.

Sorry, it's a tad MESSI you got a bit of a late start, but I got my coffee here and ready roll.

This is the new you. You sure you can help me. I'm just looking found it. Carl triumphantly holds up a red notebook, my old AA notebook.

This is the new you. You sure you can help me. I'm just looking found it. Carl triumphantly holds up a red notebook, my old AA notebook.

Look, underneath all the real twelve steps, I wrote a modified one just for us.

Look, underneath all the real twelve steps, I wrote a modified one just for us.

You're not hooked on hooch. You just got be a better kid. Indeed, beneath the actual twelve steps, Carl wrote his own.

You're not hooked on hooch. You just got be a better kid. Indeed, beneath the actual twelve steps, Carl wrote his own.

Okay, hit me, what's step one?

Okay, hit me, what's step one?

Step one might be too hard for you right now, that's okay.

Step one might be too hard for you right now, that's okay.

We can skip around. Why not we make the rules. You can do that, which.

We can skip around. Why not we make the rules. You can do that, which.

Brings me to step three. Remembering the shitty job you did on your own, surrender some control and give yourself over to a higher power.

Brings me to step three. Remembering the shitty job you did on your own, surrender some control and give yourself over to a higher power.

That's me. You don't strike me as a higher power.

That's me. You don't strike me as a higher power.

Have some faith. I've been through all this before. Carl puts on parts of the elf costume. It's actually substantial garb Nice twenty five years and one hundred mall workers Ago.

Have some faith. I've been through all this before. Carl puts on parts of the elf costume. It's actually substantial garb Nice twenty five years and one hundred mall workers Ago.

Gotta say that elf cosplay is alarming.

Gotta say that elf cosplay is alarming.

Dis guys, that legal business is no joke. They'll have me spending Christmas in jail.

Dis guys, that legal business is no joke. They'll have me spending Christmas in jail.

He adds a Santa hat and Beard flashes a Santa like gang sign. Ho to the third power. You're ready to obey your higher elf. Carl throws on big mirrored aviators to finish his disguise. Exterior town Square day, Jake walks while Carl rides the two small bike looking good. But watch out, my front wheel is busty. The warp front wheel struggles over the snow and slush. Why no car anyway? Such a hypocrisy.

He adds a Santa hat and Beard flashes a Santa like gang sign. Ho to the third power. You're ready to obey your higher elf. Carl throws on big mirrored aviators to finish his disguise. Exterior town Square day, Jake walks while Carl rides the two small bike looking good. But watch out, my front wheel is busty. The warp front wheel struggles over the snow and slush. Why no car anyway? Such a hypocrisy.

A successful person rides a bike, they're called progressive or a bicycle enthusiast, But when I do it, it's just called too many duy's.

A successful person rides a bike, they're called progressive or a bicycle enthusiast, But when I do it, it's just called too many duy's.

Jake watches of original pink under bike's paint.

Jake watches of original pink under bike's paint.

It's time for you to make some amends, repair your harm with responsibility and love.

It's time for you to make some amends, repair your harm with responsibility and love.

Baby. It'll cover steps eight and nine. Amends for what start small, my disciple? What made your mother so upset? Jake doesn't want to say, but close on Carl's shitty sell screen Jake plays social media be a post of the classroom incident, picking up after we left off.

Baby. It'll cover steps eight and nine. Amends for what start small, my disciple? What made your mother so upset? Jake doesn't want to say, but close on Carl's shitty sell screen Jake plays social media be a post of the classroom incident, picking up after we left off.

And let's not forget missus bucket, that community treasure.

And let's not forget missus bucket, that community treasure.

Some old guys outside the VFW said she can suck patriotism off a flag. That cock guy substitute told our English teacher.

Some old guys outside the VFW said she can suck patriotism off a flag. That cock guy substitute told our English teacher.

That got a little too excited where war And let's not forget missus Bucket, that community treasure. Some old guys.

That got a little too excited where war And let's not forget missus Bucket, that community treasure. Some old guys.

Outside the VFW said she can suck patriotism off a flag. That cock guy substitute told our English class she can.

Outside the VFW said she can suck patriotism off a flag. That cock guy substitute told our English class she can.

Suck the meaning.

Suck the meaning.

Awful word a disgrace zookeeper when it's a great detail.

Awful word a disgrace zookeeper when it's a great detail.

The video cuts off. You kids know about missus b Man. She used to suck off regulars. That brings bol rama.

The video cuts off. You kids know about missus b Man. She used to suck off regulars. That brings bol rama.

With commitment like it was noble, like it would help us win. The war lord knows that woman never pays. Yeah, your inside it was pretty ripe for some amends.

With commitment like it was noble, like it would help us win. The war lord knows that woman never pays. Yeah, your inside it was pretty ripe for some amends.

Jake mounts the back pegs of the bike and they take off exterior JoJo's Enhouse, Family Eatery parking lot day. Carl walks ahead of a tentative Jake. How do you know this Eric is in there? Anyway? Her snapchat story.

Jake mounts the back pegs of the bike and they take off exterior JoJo's Enhouse, Family Eatery parking lot day. Carl walks ahead of a tentative Jake. How do you know this Eric is in there? Anyway? Her snapchat story.

So that's why you want a phone so you can join your friends as a social media zombie.

So that's why you want a phone so you can join your friends as a social media zombie.

No, definitely not. I don't care about friends. Carl starts joking around with Jake to loosen him up. Snapchat. Huh that's the porn one. Seriously.

No, definitely not. I don't care about friends. Carl starts joking around with Jake to loosen him up. Snapchat. Huh that's the porn one. Seriously.

No, so that's it, Dan, you can tell me you want to send out your digital dick.

No, so that's it, Dan, you can tell me you want to send out your digital dick.

Let's know. They arrive, Carl opens the door for Jake interior JoJo's endhouse family eatery day. As they enter, Carl doesn't see teen hosts Zara nearby. I wish we had dick picks when I was younger.

Let's know. They arrive, Carl opens the door for Jake interior JoJo's endhouse family eatery day. As they enter, Carl doesn't see teen hosts Zara nearby. I wish we had dick picks when I was younger.

All we could do is take a pull, send it in the mail, like with a stamp.

All we could do is take a pull, send it in the mail, like with a stamp.

You know. It didn't just show cock and balls. It showed heart.

You know. It didn't just show cock and balls. It showed heart.

It was much more personal, but also much more intrusive for the same reason.

It was much more personal, but also much more intrusive for the same reason.

Carl finally notices his hostess, Zara, who heard everything. A nearby family with young children are also scandalized.

Carl finally notices his hostess, Zara, who heard everything. A nearby family with young children are also scandalized.

Oh so the lesson is don't show your penis to a lady unless you're super sure, like positive, like get a notary involved, right, because otherwise hashtag her.

Oh so the lesson is don't show your penis to a lady unless you're super sure, like positive, like get a notary involved, right, because otherwise hashtag her.

What's wrong with you? What kind of sick?

What's wrong with you? What kind of sick?

Freak, dresses up like some elf Santa hybrid and talks about cock and a family eater.

Freak, dresses up like some elf Santa hybrid and talks about cock and a family eater.

Hey keep a kid appropriate, watch the Santa cock and before you offer, we don't need a table, thank you.

Hey keep a kid appropriate, watch the Santa cock and before you offer, we don't need a table, thank you.

Jake wants out, but Carl nudges him. I actually just need to talk to Erica rofess Eric across, Zara starers, Carl.

Jake wants out, but Carl nudges him. I actually just need to talk to Erica rofess Eric across, Zara starers, Carl.

Down employees can't have visitors mylownddy.

Down employees can't have visitors mylownddy.

Sorry, elf Santa.

Sorry, elf Santa.

You think you can lord over this place because you're better than us. Maybe I am the elf and that means I know shit about you, like how the relationship with your husband Pillow has taken a romantic turn. I read all about it on my list, checked it twice, then six times since then. Girly, it's pretty hot. Read if you catch my drift.

You think you can lord over this place because you're better than us. Maybe I am the elf and that means I know shit about you, like how the relationship with your husband Pillow has taken a romantic turn. I read all about it on my list, checked it twice, then six times since then. Girly, it's pretty hot. Read if you catch my drift.

We'll see who's tough on markets here. Zara storms off to the back.

We'll see who's tough on markets here. Zara storms off to the back.

Remember it doesn't matter what someone else did. You're fixing what you did. You see here, Jake scans the place. None of the waitresses are Erica. Then he zeros in on Jojo, the hen mascot got here, speaking of cosplay, she must have a mascot complex or something.

Remember it doesn't matter what someone else did. You're fixing what you did. You see here, Jake scans the place. None of the waitresses are Erica. Then he zeros in on Jojo, the hen mascot got here, speaking of cosplay, she must have a mascot complex or something.

Go now, hurry, Jake, hurry's across the restaurant to back tables. Jake approaches done stops before the great bird. Jojo is stumped, but then does a dance for Jake.

Go now, hurry, Jake, hurry's across the restaurant to back tables. Jake approaches done stops before the great bird. Jojo is stumped, but then does a dance for Jake.

Damn it, Erica, stop dancing for a second, or actually keep it up, because you see, I realized that mascots are important.

Damn it, Erica, stop dancing for a second, or actually keep it up, because you see, I realized that mascots are important.

I'm sorry I had a problem with Ryan the Rhino. Jojo opens her bird wings non committally.

I'm sorry I had a problem with Ryan the Rhino. Jojo opens her bird wings non committally.

I mean it, mascots remind us went it here and it must be really hot in there. And you answer the age old question who let the dogs out a rhino did?

I mean it, mascots remind us went it here and it must be really hot in there. And you answer the age old question who let the dogs out a rhino did?

That's actually really clever. Jake spots Zara emerged with team manager Mark nineteen can almost grow the badass team facial hair he's going for. I'm legit, sorry I bunched you. Please accept my apology. Jake waits for a response as Jojo scratches her head before he sees Erica clearing the table next to him.

That's actually really clever. Jake spots Zara emerged with team manager Mark nineteen can almost grow the badass team facial hair he's going for. I'm legit, sorry I bunched you. Please accept my apology. Jake waits for a response as Jojo scratches her head before he sees Erica clearing the table next to him.

Oh, Erica, you know this fruity kid.

Oh, Erica, you know this fruity kid.

Host a stamp. Carl gets into it with Mark.

Host a stamp. Carl gets into it with Mark.

Even if Sana ELFs were real and you were one, I'd still.

Even if Sana ELFs were real and you were one, I'd still.

Fuck you up. Son. Zara is so impressed. What You're gonna attack me? While sugar plums danced in my head.

Fuck you up. Son. Zara is so impressed. What You're gonna attack me? While sugar plums danced in my head.

Uh uh.

Uh uh.

Nah, you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna find out where you live, and I'm gonna go to your mom's room, and I'm going to love her tenderly and well, I'm gonna show her a gentle rest of procative love she stopped dreaming of years before you crawled out.

Nah, you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna find out where you live, and I'm gonna go to your mom's room, and I'm going to love her tenderly and well, I'm gonna show her a gentle rest of procative love she stopped dreaming of years before you crawled out.

This was a show stopper. They don't know how to respond. You could have just been reasonable.

This was a show stopper. They don't know how to respond. You could have just been reasonable.

But now this guy's gonna spend Christmas deciding this hot peace mother's glow is from holiday cheer or from this ELF's special delivery back tables.

But now this guy's gonna spend Christmas deciding this hot peace mother's glow is from holiday cheer or from this ELF's special delivery back tables.

Fiery hatred in Erica's eyes as she steps toward Jake. This is the violent little patriarch I told you about. The enraged hen puffs out its magnificent chest as it advances on Jake, looking like it might peck him to death. I didn't mean to don't victim blame me. Listen, it was a mistake. Don't explain to Jojo. Jake doesn't know what to do. He looks up front and sees Carl feuding with Zara and Mark. When Jake turns back around, Erica slams him in the face with a server's tray. Wow, fuck, I swear, I go ahead, girls, don't give me that gender binary crap. Holding his bloody nose, Jake staggers away exterior JoJo's Henhouse, family eatery parking lot day. Jake comes out fuming, Carl's following behind.

Fiery hatred in Erica's eyes as she steps toward Jake. This is the violent little patriarch I told you about. The enraged hen puffs out its magnificent chest as it advances on Jake, looking like it might peck him to death. I didn't mean to don't victim blame me. Listen, it was a mistake. Don't explain to Jojo. Jake doesn't know what to do. He looks up front and sees Carl feuding with Zara and Mark. When Jake turns back around, Erica slams him in the face with a server's tray. Wow, fuck, I swear, I go ahead, girls, don't give me that gender binary crap. Holding his bloody nose, Jake staggers away exterior JoJo's Henhouse, family eatery parking lot day. Jake comes out fuming, Carl's following behind.

Making immense sucks and fuck all those people, why even try?

Making immense sucks and fuck all those people, why even try?

God.

God.

Karl sits on the curb. He packs a snowball and offers it, not exactly in the mood. No, it's for your face. Jake holds it against his face and he calms, some, you don't get it. My school is full of assholes.

Karl sits on the curb. He packs a snowball and offers it, not exactly in the mood. No, it's for your face. Jake holds it against his face and he calms, some, you don't get it. My school is full of assholes.

Horse, it is. Some people totally deserve bad shit. That's what school's good for, not to teach you about logarithms or teapot domes or the righteous men of the Whiskey Rebellion. It's there to prepare you for a world of assholes.

Horse, it is. Some people totally deserve bad shit. That's what school's good for, not to teach you about logarithms or teapot domes or the righteous men of the Whiskey Rebellion. It's there to prepare you for a world of assholes.

That doesn't seem right. Come here, sit down, let's look around. Jake joins Karl on the curb. As they scan their surroundings. Carl points to an adorable family walking down the sidewalk. That adorable family, they're probably assholes. Mom cheats on dad, but it ain't her fault because I don't know.

That doesn't seem right. Come here, sit down, let's look around. Jake joins Karl on the curb. As they scan their surroundings. Carl points to an adorable family walking down the sidewalk. That adorable family, they're probably assholes. Mom cheats on dad, but it ain't her fault because I don't know.

He can only get off to some very specific type of Vietnamese or something. And they both know their daughter's real father is one of a dozen potential men, none of whom she currently calls dad.

He can only get off to some very specific type of Vietnamese or something. And they both know their daughter's real father is one of a dozen potential men, none of whom she currently calls dad.

Jake points at an innocent old man shambling along. What about him? That guy, he's an asshole too, I'm sure of it. He's just an innocent old man.

Jake points at an innocent old man shambling along. What about him? That guy, he's an asshole too, I'm sure of it. He's just an innocent old man.

No one that old isn't very racist and weirdly specific racism, like distrust of those thieven Danes or something.

No one that old isn't very racist and weirdly specific racism, like distrust of those thieven Danes or something.

The old man gives them a polite wave, shuffles on harmlessly.

The old man gives them a polite wave, shuffles on harmlessly.

Hell, being angry can even be fun if someone deserves it. But then you spend your whole day judging people. It's a trap.

Hell, being angry can even be fun if someone deserves it. But then you spend your whole day judging people. It's a trap.

Jake understands this deeply. He throws the snowball. Life can be shitty, but you're way too young to believe it's not going to be okay. Two down, cross him out. Jake crosses off eight and nine. He can't help feeling proud and act one.