DEATH of my old self, moving house, slowing down, Hideaway's success &  who is my Father? HUGE life Q&A 🙌🏼🥵🫣🖤

Published Dec 1, 2024, 3:00 PM

Today I talk about literally everything! From where I’m at, what’s on my mind, what’s changing in my personal life and work life , mistakes I’ve made, friendships and relationships, my biggest lifeline, habits I don’t ever let go and MORE!!!! Get comfortable we are going there today 🙌🏼

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Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm actually Bynes. This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level up together. Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, find the lessons to grow and glow. Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow, and I'm here to be your expander. Well, hello everybody, Welcome back to Growing Glow. I'm actually your host. If you're new here, welcome, if you're an og listener, or welcome back today. I'm going to be doing a big Q and a answering a bunch of questions that came through on my forum. I also did post on there saying that if there's anything private that you wanted to ask.

Me, to shoot me a DM.

So we've got a few on our Instagram page and in my personal dms. So it's a wide variety of different topics and I'm going to answer as many as I can. I've got seventeen here, but I'll be mindful to not keep you here for longer than an hour.

I'm actually curious.

Too, I would love to know if you are in our private Facebook community, might do a post and let me know how long you do like the episodes. Are you more of someone who likes a short fifteen twenty minute one or you.

Love a good solid hour.

I feel like it depends on where I'm going, on what I'm doing, Like if I'm flying to a destination, I don't mind listening to a long podcast, but day to day I do prefer the shorter ones, like the bite sized chunks. But anyways, let's get straight into it. So first up, I had someone ask about lip and tongue ties with their babies. Both of my children had really bad lip and tongue ties. If you don't know what this is, basically like if you grab your top lip and you pull it up, if you can pull it up, like you don't have a tie, but a really bad lip tie would be that you can't really pull your lip up. There's like this connective tissue I suppose that connects it. That's the same with your tongue. So if you can poke your tongue fully out or when you lift it up, you can see this connective tissue. For a lot of babies and little kids, it's tied, which means it's kind of stuck down. A lip and tongue tie can really affect the way a baby feeds. So when they are looking for the nipple. They actually utilize their tongue to find the nipple and then to be able to latch on properly.

So I've never heard of this.

I've never seen anyone speak about it on social media, and none of my friends had it with their babies. And with Ta, she just wasn't feeding very well. He was swallowing a lot of air. I just felt like as tummy was always upset. And then I got a lactation console to come in and she was like, oh, he has one of the worst lip and tongue ties that I've seen in quite a few years. So she referred me to a holistic dentist who doesn't actually practice anymore.

He was in.

Tellibudra to get it lasered. As the first time mum, this was really really terrifying. They take your baby into another room and they use a laser like a water laser device to laser off the tie and he had to get his lip and tongue done. And kids can also have cheek ties as well. If you don't get these done. They say that it can really impact their breathing, their speech, the way that they eat and the texture of food and everything, and of course I just couldn't breastfeed properly because they couldn't get a proper latch of my breast. So yeah, they did the laser and it's a lot for a new mum to go through and for a baby to go through. And then when you get it done, you have to actually stretch the tongue back and pull the lip up every four hours, so even if they're sleeping through or sipping well, you have to wait much to do these stretches that they hate it. You hate it, but if you don't do the stretches, it will actually reattach. So our mouth is like our fastest healing body part. So yeah, if you don't do it, or just reattach and you'll be back to square one and you may have to get it relazered, which you don't want to do to them, you don't want to do to yourself. So went through all of that with Taj, I was well aware that this is probably going to be something that Tyler has as well. And when we first got targed on, the dentists actually reached up into Steve's mouth and my mouth I didn't have one, but Steve does, so they can be genetic and yes, what do you know? Tyler had a lip in tongue tie. So I got it done very early on. I went to a place in Brisbane called Enhance. There isn't many places that do it. This particular lady has been doing it for like twenty years plus. She's very experienced and my lactation consult recommended go to her. There was a bit of a wait list to even get into her, but it is over very quickly, like literally less than two minutes, and the procedure is done and then they bring the baby back in you feed straight away in their sweet Tyler was actually really fine. I just held her for the next like twenty four hours, like on my chest the whole time. So I just wanted to make sure that she felt safe and she felt comfortable. And you know, I think as parents, we are their painkillers, we are their pain relief, we are their safety, their love. So yeah, I just made sure. I was just spending a lot of skin to skin with her and feeding lots, but her feeding improved drastically straight away. So yeah, something this beautiful lady wanted me to talk about because she hasn't heard many people talk about it, and she thinks her son has one, and her doctors told her not to worry about it. So my advice to her was to get a lactation consultant or go and visit the girls at enhanced because I feel like general gps don't understand a lot about it, and also the short and long term effects that can have on babies, children and adults if you don't get it lasered. Some are very minor and some are, like my kids were really quite severe. So if you've got a minor lip and tongue TI like Steve's quite minor, it hasn't really affected him. But I just think it's something that you should go to an expert about, not just your general GP, because a lot of the time they just don't know enough about it. So yes, next question, how do you go through a death of your old self or your marriage? So this is something I've spoken about on the podcast a lot, is that I feel like Steve has married five different women or seven different women, because I've changed so much from who I was when I met him at age nineteen. I'm turning thirty six. By the time you guys listen to this, are we thirty six years old? So you can imagine how much I've changed and evolved over those years. What I've valued, how I've showed up, how are respondersern situations, what I enjoy, what I desire, the people around me, my environments, what I do for work, Like so much changes. And I feel like when you go through a death of your old self, you just feel like how you used to be and how you used to show up and the things you used to love just don't align anymore. And then you start to rediscover this new version of yourself. And that's what I call the rebirth. And I've gone through this when I've gone through really big pivotal moments in my life. So when I birthed my children, I felt a massive death of my old self and a rebirth of like this new version of myself. And what I cared about previously I don't care about anymore. And yeah, my desires and my needs and my wants change in all areas of my life and where my energy goes and who I'm surrounding myself with and the type of conversations I'm having. And it's very similar to the marriage. When I met Steve at nineteen, Like the things I needed and wanted from him are completely different now. I was so codependent on him. I just wanted him to save me and take care of me, and I felt like I was broken. And it's just so different to the woman that I am now. And it's so cool to be able to go through those deaths and you know, get to know each other as we evolved together individually and as a couple. When you're doing the inner work and you're really in tune, I'm touching my body as I'm saying this, which you guys can't see. But when you're really in tune with who you are, you'll be super hyper aware that when things are not feeling good and they're not aligning, you will shuffle and adjust as you go and in your relationship like it's just never gonna stay the same. The one thing that we are guaranteed is constant change, So invite it in, don't be scared of it. It's really important for you to keep growing in your relationship and keep growing yourself. Without progress, we feel dead inside. And it doesn't mean that something's wrong with you, and it doesn't mean that self development has to become your whole world. But I think at the end of the day. We always are wanting to become better and be able to manage harder situations with more grace, with more kindness, with more love, with more understanding. So yeah, it's really important to continue to grow and continue to get to know yourself on a deeper level and feel, like I've described as before, like as on you and you're always feeling back the layers to get to know you know the core of who you are, and it's important to meet yourself exactly where you are now, not where you were six months ago or five years ago. And same with your partner, get invite them in, get excited to get to know who they are now and what they desire and what they want, and even like your love language is like, they will change all the time, I think, which honestly should be checking in with that, you know, once a month as a minimum, because you can change so much. So I hope that explains that how do you keep such a positive mindset about everything, especially in your hard times or like not having a dad, or getting trolled online or people saying things about your family. I feel like there's so many questions in one there, But for me, I think it's a muscle that I've kind of flexed for so long that life isn't always going to be smooth sailing and things aren't always going to go to plan, and you can't be positive and happy all the time. Part of the human experience is to experience all the emotions anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment, grief, excitement, joy, jealousy, envy, like it's all part.

Of the human experience.

So I'm not positive all the time, but I do like to have a glass is half full kind of mindset, and I believe even through the icky are hard at times that I'm going through, I know it's happening for me, not to me. What I mean by that is, I know that there's an underlying lesson, there's a reason why I have to go through that. And a lot of the time when we are wanting to up level and we're wanting to improve who we are or change a lot in our life to live a better life, we have to go through a lot. You normally have to like break down a lot of the shit that we're going through and experiencing to be able to break through and step into our new life. So, yeah, I am very positive. A lot of the time, because I don't like to fall into victim. I have my moments of being a victim. So recently, I've gone through something really hard, and I've had my moments of having a little pity party for myself, and I'll vent to Steve or my close girlfriends or my mum and just be like, this sucks wise this happening. I don't understand why this person's doing this, or why they've said this, or how people can think that, and like, I feel so sad about that. And I will have that moment and I will allow all those feelings to come up, but I won't let that be my emotional home because it doesn't serve me. There's no point in me constantly being a victim thinking the world's against me and everybody hates me. And I've lived like that before and I refuse to do that now. So, yeah, it's not about being positive and happy in all the time and not feeling the lower vibrational feelings. You need to actually feel all of those to heal through them. However, just don't let it become your emotional home. Know that whatever you're going through is for a higher purpose, and there is massive lessons and massive amounts of growth that will help you live a more aligned life, or you'll shad parts of your old self or an old belief or an old pattern that's not serving you. And when I go through hard times in life, I just see that as a universe like inviting me in and inviting me to level up. And I'm always wanting to be better than who I was yesterday. I'm always wanting to learn how to communicate more effectively. I'm always wanting to know how I can have bigger impact on my audience. I'm always wanting to find ways that I can be the best parent that I can be, and that requires constant awareness and consciousness and a willingness to wanting to be able to see my shadows and create light from them. So yeah, next question is are you changing the name of the podcast because of your old co host or because you wanted to regardless a bit of both. If I'm being completely honest, I was really attached to the name growing Glow because it's had such meaning and I really love the concept of just growing through so much so that you can glow out the other side. I think it's such a beautiful name. But with everything that's happened and a new coast host stepping in. I did feel like it was a chapter that needed to be fully closed. And I felt like, out of respect to my old co host and also out of respect to my new co host, it was just the right thing to do. And when I came up with this new name and I put it forward to my new co host, it was just a full body Yes, I feel like this name that we've got, it just embodies everything that we want you to all to feel. And when you see and hear the name, you'll be like, yeah, that's so fitting. Like it says so much in what two words says, and it really is, I suppose, how I want to continue to live my life. So the podcast, it's just it's where I want to be putting so much of my energy in two and I'm really excited to actually lean into it way more and.

See what happens with it.

So yes, bittersweet, but multiple emotions can coexist. Okay, next question from following you for years, you have moved homes a couple of times. When did you and Steve know it was time to sell and change homes? My partner and I have outgrown our home, but I'm struggling to let go of the memories.

We've made here. Oh.

I have this conversation with girlfriends, and some of my friends have grown up in the same household their whole life, and they just can't imagine, like their parents not being and they're not spending Christmas there. I suppose for me, I grew up moving houses all the time, like I reckon. As a kid, I moved around to probably thirty different homes. We were always moving. We had different dairy farms in Australia and New Zealand. I was always at different schools. I was always a new kid, and so I think moving around for me, it's now exciting. I feel like it's a new fresh energy. It's a new spa. I feel inspired again. I love exploring the new area, making a new walking track. I really thoroughly enjoy moving homes. I don't really stay in a home longer than three years. Five has been my max.

I don't know. I feel like it's part of my personality. I really love it.

But I understand that you don't want to let go of the memories. But I just think of it as like a beautiful chapter. It's like in a book. When you close a chapter, you don't you enjoy the new chapter, but you also like think about the old chapter and all the memories and the things you've read, like they still get to be a part of you. You're not fully letting them go, but you get to step into something so fresh and exciting. So yeah, I love it. Maybe I'm not the right person to ask because I love it so much. We are looking at buying a new house next year as well, which is really exciting. We only the one that way in now, but I just don't see it being our forever home. It's been a great family home, but I feel like as the kids get older, they're gonna outgrow it. But then we also have the best street with the best neighbors.

We've all got kids.

We all go out in the street in the afternoon and all the kids play and they're all similar ages, and it's just so beautiful and like we've got a time I played that lives near us now. Deeve've never he doesn't really have a lot of friends that love football, so like on a Sunday they will get together watch the footy and like it's just a really cool street. So I think will be really sad to move the street because of our neighbors, actually, but I'm also really excited to get into a bigger home and a more modern one and one that just I can vision what my next house is going to look like, and I'm manifesting it and I'm really excited for that next chapter. Oh, this is a heavy question. Do you ever want to reach out to see if your father even knows who you are? Do you ever get curious and what it would be like to have a father? Yes, And it's definitely been a little bit more of a recent conversation I've been having with myself.

I think it was Steve.

Yeah, Steve asked me a question recently, and it was, how would you feel if you're, you know, when your stepdad and your father passes away, and would you go to the funerals for my stepdad? It was an easy no. I don't hold into any anger anymore. I feel like I've really emotionally worked through a lot of that from my childhood and the way he treated me and what he did to my mom and my brother, and I've done a lot of breath work and somatic releases and iyahuasca. I don't hold anger towards him anymore. But I also don't feel a desire to be in his life in any way, shape or form. It's kind of like just this. I don't know if numbs the right word. I just feel no connection or no energetic cord to him at all, which I like because for so long in my teens and when I was kipped out of home, I just I just felt so much sadness. I felt so much rejection and abandonment and thought, gosh, my real father didn't want me. My stepdad was an asshole and didn't want me, Like, what's wrong with me? I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable. Will anyone ever loved me? And I had to go through that journey of learning how to love myself and knowing what I bring to this world. And you know, through beautiful events, through Steve and friendships and my mum, I now know none of that's true, But yeah, it was a really, really hard, long journey. Now my father in the other breath once again, I'm not angry at him for leaving, but I also like I've never actually heard his side of the story or where he was at emotionally, or even if he doesn't even know what was going on for him back then. I'd love to know now how he's feeling and if he's ever had that curiosity of like I wonder who she is, I wonder what she's like. I want to what her kids like and say with my brother, we share the same father, does he have any curiosity about who.

He is and his life?

So there's definitely curiosity, and I've been thinking lately how that would look and feel if I was to reach out. But I had a session with my coach, Connie Chapman about this, and she's a lot about going in and really feeling everything, and I really had to go in and see if I was still searching for outside validation that I'm enough and that I'm lovable. And I came to it and I don't think I am, which is really beautiful. It was more coming from a place of curiosity, because she said to me, what if you reached out to him and he still didn't want to see you, Or what if you reached out to him and he told you all the things that you know your younger self and you, as an adult woman, have wanted to hear that it wasn't about you. I'm so sorry I wish I could have shown up, Like, what if that still didn't change anything for you? You would still be left feeling how you've been left to feel. So yeah, it's come from a place of curiosity. I haven't yet decided if I will reach out to him. I think I just have to be okay that if I did reach out, one, that he may not respond, Two he may respond but still not want anything to do with me. Three if he did want to catch up, how would I feel about that? That makes me really nervous. I feel like he is literally a stranger. I don't know who he is, and if we met up, what if we had no connection. I feel like I would have to go into it with no expectations. But I feel like lately I just haven't had the capacity or space to even lean into that. I think next year maybe I was talking about this with my girlfriend Megsie, and she just said I would just hate something to happen to him, and then you look back and say, fuck, I wish I reached out. She's like, I don't want to live in any regrets. So it's definitely on my mind at the moment. But yeah, I would love to know what it's like to have a supportive dad or father like my friends that are like, Oh, I just got my dad to come help fix my car, or you know, I just think it's so beautiful that father daughter bond and I'm always I always have moments of sadness that I haven't been able to experience that. However, I find my joy in having the most incredible mum who's been able to play both roles so beautifully, and even now, I feel like she can be so feminine and so masculine in a way that just supports whatever I'm going through. So I feel like I'm very blessed in that department. And I also just get a lot of joy in seeing the love and the care and everything that Steve gives to Tala and Taj of course, but yeah, just seeing how he is with his daughter and knowing that she gets to experience a total opposite of what I had, and I find a lot of joy in that. So I think it makes me even more grateful than what maybe I would have been if I had had a beautiful dad, if that makes sense. What is your word going into twenty twenty five? So my word last year was surrender. I really wanted to drop in and surrend to whatever is meant for me, whatever's going to happen, whatever changes, I will just surrender and experience it all and honor it all and lean into it all. And I really love that word. This year, I've got three. My first one is fun. I really want to make sure everything I'm doing I can bring more joy and bring more fun and bring more laughter, because I think life's too short to not be having fun. In my work, in my family, in my friendships, in my lone time, I just want to have fun. It brings me so much joy and makes me really playful list my vibration, and I'm just like a funner, high vibe, cooler person to be around.

So I don't not want more of that. So that's going to be in the forefront of my mind is fun.

And when I get asked to do opportunities, whether that's speaking events or podcasts or go on trips or anything, if I don't think it's going to be fun, I think it's going to be a hard no. The other word that I'm going to be leaning into more is flow. It's very similar to surrender. I just feel this feminine energy around the word flow, just being softer. I've had a coach for the last three months, and that was my main intention, was learning how to soften more, how to be open more, how to receive more, how to heal more, how to forgive more, how to have more compassion. And that three months.

Was really deep work.

But I really feel like so much shifted for me internally, and I feel so much more open and so much more softer, which then helps me flow more. So flows another one, But the main word that I'm leaning into is curiosity. Curiosity to me means like I've got a open mind and things that I would normally be scared and maybe turned down or make up a story about why I can't do something if it interests me in the slightest. It means I'm curious and I want to lean into that. I want curiosity to kind of lead the way, and it means I'm going to be open to so many more opportunities. I'm going to give more things to go. I'm not going to let fear be the one holding the torch in my life. I just think curiosity is really playful, really fun, really exciting, really like oh what's next. It's kind of like a mystery, and I like that variety as well, so fun, flow, and curiosity are my three words going into twenty twenty five. This is really cute. Someone asks what do you love most about Steve? There is so many things I love about my beautiful husband. The thing lately that's really come through he is just my biggest rock. Like literally anything and everything I'm going through. He has this ability to be able to hold the space to me so well. I need to read the room sometimes if he's had like a really stressful day and he's tired and exhausted, sometimes I'll wait to like unload to him. But ninety five percent of the time like the way he holds me and listens to me and validates me. But then also he's a Libra, so he's very calm, he's very grounded, he's very fair, he's very level headed. He is not someone that carries a lot of anger. He's not very reactional. He thinks about what he says. He's always inspiring me to embody more of that. I just love all of that about him, and going through something recently, he really has kept me so calm and ground and I've been so proud of how I've handled ickier situations, and my responses have been so loving and kind, and yeah, I really owe a lot of that to him and a lot of my beautiful girlfriends as well. But yeah, he just is a very beautiful, kind, carb balanced, fair person, and I think they're just such incredible traits to have. But I love how he just loves everything about me. He never judges me, he never tries to change anything about me.

He just fully accepts.

All of me, which has really helped me on my own self love journey because the way he loves me helps me love me more too. He's also an incredible dad as well, and he can cook a really good massmin curry. He's a great cook. What did slowing down look like for you this year? How did you know what to let go of and what to prioritize? So, as you guys know, I had a brain aneurysm. I found out in March and I had surgery only three months ago. But I felt like as soon as I got that use something switched inside me where I was like, holy shit, life is so short. I am not happy. I need to reevaluate literally everything, and I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I just felt like my body was so burned out. I was running on adrenaline. I always felt the need to prove, not to others, even even just to myself, that I could do it, and I was hustling and I could achieve this, and it was always looking future and the further goals, and I just felt when I was in the hospital and I actually had that time and space to just sit and reflect, I was like, Oh, I just don't want to live like this anymore. And I want to like deconstruct the old belief that I have to be hustling and working myself and burning myself into the ground to be successful. I wanted to redefine what success looked like to me, and success now is not about hustling and doing one hundred things at once. It's about me being able to do the things that bring me a lot of joy, light and I can make a lot of impact. Success to me is being able to have the freedom and the flexibility to be able to be with my kids as much as I want to whilst working on my mission, which is making a really positive impact on women's lives, helping them grow and glow and expand helping them not feel so alone, building a community where they feel safe to express and to get to know themselves on a deeper level. So that's when the hard decision came to closing down my active web business and then also handing over my health and fitness app and programs to Levi, which was a really beautiful transition because I love Levi so much and we've worked together for the last fifteen years and I'm so excited for the things that he's going to expand and grow within the app, and all of my challenges are still on there, and I'm still a coach on the app, so i still feel connected to him and to what you know he's doing.

But that was really beautiful.

Closing down the active wear label was really hard because I love active wear, but I didn't love running a business. I didn't love managing a team. I think it's a very special skill to be able to manage a team effectively. Steve is incredible at it, and it just wasn't a skill set of mine. I felt like I just wanted to be everyone's friends and make everyone happy and just like working around their schedules, and I would just sometimes hire people out of fear or because they're my friends, or I've always said it like I don't think I would even ever own a business if it wasn't for Steve, Like we both have such different strengths and weaknesses that really compliment each other. Anyways, back to going on, going on a round, back to what's slowing down look like? So, yes, it was finding out about my brain aneurism. It was closing down baseline. It was creating more space for me to be with Taler at home more and just being able to finish early and have more time with their kids. So Steve, when I finish at like two o'clock most days, and then we get that time with Tyler in the afternoon, and then we get Taji and then we have the time as a family, and that's really beautiful. And I'm still busy with what I do. However, the hustle and busyness feel so different to what it used to. I'm so lit up by the work that I do now compared to running an e commerce business. We still have Hideaway, but I'm not obviously running that ship.

Stevez.

I feel like the work I get to do now is from like a very heart opening centered place of just wanting to connect and there's no pressure on what I do. There's no timelines and deadly. I mean, of course I need to do podcasts by a certain time, but even like coming up to do this podcast, I just love the conversations. I love the connection. I love that I get to do this. I'm solow today, which is really cool actually, but I love that I get to do that with a really close friend. I love the producers that we work with. They are the most fucking incredible humans. I just I love them so much, and I feel so grateful that I get to work within a team that is just so aligned, and even with Hideaway, like I get to do the creative, fun stuff. Now I'm not bogged down with the logistics of running a business like I was with Baseline. I get to literally work on my strength, which is marketing and content creation and being really creative and doing that with the team and having fun. Like my roles are very fun, which is cool because that's my word going into next year. But I literally have like a big smile on my face because I'm so excited for next year just be able to really focus on the podcast and hide Away that's been slowing down. For me, it has been just more time with my family and doing more things that light me up. So I'm not ever as tired and drained and stress as what I used to be. So yeah, I'm still busy, but I'm not If.

That makes sense. Oh, I feel like I answered that in a roundabout way.

When life gets busy, what are the key habits and self care that you never let slide? For me, it's breath. I don't do like a long, heavy breath session every single day, but I'll always as soon as I wake up just take ten slow, long breaths. It's just a part of what I do now. It's like brushing my teeth. I always start my day just getting some oxygen and regulating myself so that I can start my day calm and clear for myself, my kids. Hydration and food. I feel like that's something that never really goes out that we know. Even if I'm not cooking at home as much, I still choose healthy options when I'm out.

And movement.

I feel like movements just something that I always prioritize. Health and fitness has always been my biggest lifeline. Even when I was a little girl, I would dance, I would play sport. If I didn't want to be at home with my stepdad, I would literally just walk for miles. I would go and sprint stairs or just like make my own workouts up. I just felt like exercise for me and moving my body it's a way that I get to move the stagnant energy and any low vibrational feelings. Actually physically moving it helped.

Me clear it.

So movement it definitely would be as well. And then even at night, just during my skin care routine, just taking that time to really like laden my body, in my face, in my syoms, in my creams, and just spending that time loving on myself. That never goes out the window either. See. I feel like I've really worked on my foundational habits for so many years that even when life gets tough or I'm more busy in some way, shape or form, those habits are just so ingrained with me. I mean, the last week I've been flying to Sydney, and I go to Sydney and next week and I'm up on Brisbane. I haven't been exercizing as much, but I was also sick last week, so I'm kind of just having a week or two off proper movement. I'm still going for a couple of little walks and doing some stretches in the morning, but I'm just giving my body a bit of a rest and I have zero guilt around that. How do you and stea split mental load, cooking, cleaning kids' activities? Does this split work for you? And if not, what would you change? Steve and I have really good communicator in our relationship, and we go through different seasons. But it's been really beautiful now that we're both not running big businesses. He's still running Highaway, but now we don't have a baseline as well. I felt like I've been able to drop more into my feminine and I've been more enjoying cooking for the family, enjoying cleaning up, enjoying being at home more, whereas when I was running baseline, I was in the office and working just as many hours as him. That I felt like we still actually made it work.

In the sense.

Brene Brown did a talk on it a little while ago, and she basically said relationships are not fifty to fifty. You one day could be feeling out of twenty percent, and you're part it might be at eighty percent. So they do a lot more that day, and then the next day, your partner could have the most stressful day at work, but you're feeling amazing. You had a great sleep, you had a nice hot shower, you're feeling energized, and you're like, I feel amazing. You go sit down and chill. So we would always just communicate where are we at. I'm at a fifty, you're at a forty, I'm at a ten, and I'm like, okay, go lay down, I've got this, and vice versa. So we'd always just be communicating and checking, and that's how we would share the load. And then even at nighttime, say we've all had dinner together, we'll just communicate and say, hey, do you feel like doing the bath or do you want to clean the kitchen?

And normally he.

Would likes to do the kitchen. I like to do the bath, so whatever, all we both like, we haven't caught up yet. Let's both go sit in the bathroom watch the kids' bath so we can talk and catch up and then we'll clean up in the morning. You know, it's just all about communication. So I feel like the way that we do things really works well. And we never used to have this when Tage is a baby.

I've said this so.

Many times before, but we were just not great communicators earlier on in our relationship. But I'm so grateful we went through that because we learnt so much on how to communicate and work as a team now that now it just feels so flowy and beautiful and together. There's never any resentment because we're both pulling our weight and helping each other where we can, and it works really well. So it wouldn't change anything at the moment. What is your weekly schedule work life balance nowadays since you don't have your active wear label, So at the moment, Monday is pretty much a full hideaway day. We record a lot of content, We go around marketing plans, we talk about new launches, we have team meetings. I go down in the warehouse and check it on everything. It's a full hideaway day. It's the only day that Claudia, our social media girl, is in there as well, so yeah, it's all about hideaway.

I love that Tuesday.

I'm back in the office as well, and it's more like any leftover hideaway stuff that we need to do. But then also I start to catch up my admin work look over my schedule, my content things, and then Wednesday, as of next year, is going to be a podcast day. So me and the new co host are having a whole day where we plan our episodes, we plan out our future plans, we go out of our goals, we film content, we celebrate our wins, we get kid connect, we go to a cafe, work in our laptops. We just get excited for what's to come with the podcast. We're both so excited for next year, and we just wanted to have one dedicated day each week that that's just for us and our branding and our business and our goals and just getting in that beautiful energy that we want to put out to the audience. Thursday is all day Tyala Day, and then pretty much Friday, I'm with Tyala all day as well, and then we'll get tared from school and then it's the weekend and then we can I don't do any work and I absolutely love it. Then once a month we come up to Brisbane to record the podcast. We'll come up I think we're gonna come up on a Wednesday Thursday and we stay up here the Wednesday night, so we record all day Wednesday and then probably all day Thursday and then drive back. So we batch to our content that just works with my lifestyle with my family, and that's all done for the whole next month. So it's really cool because it's like two whole days of these beautiful conversations and meeting guests and just going deeper and I just, oh, I just love it so much.

It just lights me up. So yeah, it's really really beautiful.

I'm really loving my work life balance and I feel like I've got a beautiful blend of all the things that I love. I also get up and train really early, so I get up at four thirty and I train at five. My family doesn't wake up till six thirty, Steve, Taj and Talas, so I kind of get all my exercise in my me time before the days even started, and I just feel like I'm in the best energy for them. So that's my workout routine at the moment. And yeah, the weekends are just full family time. We just hang out, try to have no plans, go to parts, go to the market, swim in the pool, watch a movie, cook pizzas. Every Sunday night we do Homema pizzas, and.

Yeah, it's just really beautiful.

Someone said, you've spoken about having million dollar launches.

She actually put at the start.

Sorry if this is nosy, but you've spoken about having million dollar launches with Tone and Baseline. What about Hideaway? Are you open to sharing numbers with that business? I've always kind of not wanted to share numbers because I've never wanted anyone to think that I'm bragging or that I'm rubbing in someone's face or anything like that.

But I feel like the last year, I've.

Seen so many business owners celebrate their wins and talk about their big launches and talk about their strategies behind it and celebrate it with their team.

And I just love it. I love it so much.

I've seen so many brands like set up the camera and literally watch as their Black Friday sale goes live and they're all celebrating, and it's just so beautiful and wholesome, And I just think, why should we not celebrate that, you know, me doing well or someone else is doing well doesn't take away from your hard work or what's going on for you.

I think there's just.

Room for everyone. And Yeah, I'm starting to kind of be a little bit more open about money and my life and my achievements and that kind of stuff, whereas always, yeah, I've been scared to talk about it. I said that to my coach, Taylor. I never want to feel like I'm bragging and I want to stay relatable. And he was like, that's so interesting. Why do you want to be relatable? And I said, I just want everyone to feel close and connect to the me and like they can relate to me. And he goes, don't you want to be a trailblazer? Don't you want to be a leader? Because when I look at you, I look at you as a leader. You are leading the way. You are showing women that they can break through these barriers, break through a hard childhood, break through these limiting beliefs, and create their amazing dream life that you have done. You have worked so hard, And I don't think you should be relatable. I think you should be leading the way and being a trailblazer and talking about all of that and continue to show women the way. And I was like wow. And when he said that, I then was looking at other women that I was really inspired by, who do talk about their wins and their finances and how well their business are doing. They show their new car and the new house and all that kind of stuff, and I'm so moved and inspired by that. I love seeing them be a trailblazer and it helps me see what's possible and it really inspires me. I don't find I get a lot of jealousy or envy over other women having success. For me, I get really excited because I'm like, fuck, yeah, look.

What she's achieved.

Look at what she's earned, Like, oh my god, that's so cool. Like good on her, especially if she's got a cool story, or especially if she's making big impact. And I just love seeing people win. So yeah, this is something I've kind of been leaning into, but it feels quite edgy for me to talk about, but yeah, I'm happy to talk about it. So Hideaway is doing incredible. The last couple of months have just been our biggest best ever. It's crazy, which is so freaking cool. I'm so proud of Steve in particular, but then the whole team, like everyone that's involved that's made this happen. We're probably going to hit close to three million in our Black Friday sale, which is a record for us. So yeah, it's really come a long way, and this is like over eight years in business with Hideaway, and trust me when I say we have had a lot of hard times. There's been times where I'm like, how the fuck are we gonna get out of this?

Like how do we pay these bills? You know?

Cash flow is really really stressful and hard when you have a business of our size now you constantly are putting so much money out more money's coming in and to juggle or like see shows me the spreadsheet and I'm like, oh my gosh, like I could not handle this, but he loves it. My mum's working for us full time at the moment. The team just works so well together. But yeah, Hidaway's doing amazing. When we're going to get to a lot of wholesaling, We've got some massive, massive retailers that are really interested.

So next year is just going to be really really exciting.

And I think it's just such a special thing because it's still a family owned business. My mum started this eight years ago in her kitchen. We've got the most incredible team. Like the culture within our team environment is so beautiful, and everyone loves our products. It's just really really fun. It's really cool, and yeah, I'm very very proud of where we're at. So yeah, I definitely don't mind talking about it. I just feel like it's a little bit edgy. But yeah, as I said, I love seeing other people talk about this, and I think from a you guys listening, it's just interesting to hear about it. Like I'm a bit nosy, I'd love to hear the numbers of what other people are doing. Like I saw this other company and they said they made like one hundred thousand dollars in their first hour of Black Friday, and she was like, it was triuble what we made last year, and she was so excited, and I was just, like I commented, I was like, fuck, yes, Like I don't even know who you are, but I'm so happy for you. I'm so excited for you, and I'm so glad that she was talking about and celebrating it and all of her customers and like people commenting were so stoked for her. So I think it's really cool. If you're still listening, thank you so much. I really hope you guys enjoyed this. If you did, please leave a review. If you love this, you can share this with your friend or any of our other episodes, and also if you'd love more Q and A episodes like this, maybe we could do them every couple of months. Let me know in their Facebook forum and if you're not a member and there search grow and glow for now and then our podcast name will be changing. But all you have to do is add yourself in. Will accept you and come in and spend time and joining the conversations with these other beautiful women who are very aligned on the same journey wanting to learn and expand and it's just a.

Really nice community.

So let me know if you like the style of content, and I can definitely do it again, but without new cos she's got a lot of depth about her as well. Be cool to have you guys ask her some questions, but otherwise, thank you and I'll be in your ears in a couple of days time.

Bye.