My darling you are MORE than enough 🥺 

Published Oct 8, 2024, 2:00 PM

Notes to our younger selves… We didn’t expect to get so emotional and these were the words we all needed to hear. 💕 

Thanks again for tuning in, We appreciate your love and support more than you know.

Shop our journals at www.growandglow.com.au

Be a part of our official facebook community to get a look BTS & exclusive first access content & plans for G&G ;)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/967387484234002

Come check us out on instagram & let us know any of your suggestions for future episodes.

https://www.instagram.com/growandglow.podcast

and our personal daily vlogs on:

https://www.instagram.com/ashybines

https://www.instagram.com/aussiemumvlogger

You can shop our outfits at:
Love Ellis Rose: https://loveellisrose.online/
Baseline: https://www.baselinebyashybines.com/

 

We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the land on which we gathered today and pay our respects to their elders past and present. We extend that respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today.

Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara. This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level up together. Let's go deep, let the.

Emotions flow, and find the lessons to grow and Glow. Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow, and we're here to be your expander. Welcome back to Wacky Wednesday. It's day for a nice little episode, probably be a shorter one, but nice pick me up. And I think this was a suggestion in the forum. We're calling it notes to our younger self, but it's almost like mine's more advice that I would give to my younger self, and yours is a beautiful letter.

And I think it's really cool that we both interpreted it in our own way, Like we had the title of what we wanted the podcast episode to be, and we both went in there and field it out and we've kind of both put our own spece in cool.

I think this task that you've done of writing a letter to your younger self is a really beautiful task that everyone listening can do. And it's just like, I don't know, it's like nurturing the little girl inside you, the woman inside you, Like it's just really nice. When I read yours, I was like.

Oh, and reflecting back, like we're just so hard on ourselves, I know, like we really can be our own harshest critic.

Oh yeah, life is so much nice that you can be nicer to yourself. And if you don't respect yourself and love yourself and be kind to yourself, like, how can you expect anyone else to exactly have to set the example and the standard of how you want to be treated.

And even just forgiving yourself. I feel like this is something that so many people struggle with, Like we're all not.

Perfect and we've all made mistakes.

Yeah, and that's every single person and only we can make the choice to forgive ourselves.

Yes, yeah, So doing a letters a beautiful way to actually get it out of paper. When you're writing this letter, and you might not fully believe it yet, like it's just the start. It's the start of being conscious, being aware and like just putting the things in play I used to practice more self love and eventually like it will just feel so natural. It's like when you learn a new skill, you get a new job, or you're trying to break an old habit or implement a new one, Like it takes time your body to get used to it, know that it's safe though, that it's okay, and for it to start feeling good later on and.

Even rather than visualizing yourself as you are now, like when I wrote mine, I was visualizing me as a little girl, So it makes it feel like you're writing it to your daughter, like a little girl you see at the playground and walk over to you. So it just makes you have more compassion when you're writing as well.

You'd be so kind to your own kids. And the little girl was like crying the park, Like what would you say to her? Exactly? Yeah, do you want to go first to read your letter?

Well, now, I'm gonna probably get emotional anyway, High little Kiara. I wrote this note to you because I know how much you struggle with self worth, how anxious you are and full of self doubt. I'm here to tell you the confidence you see in others is also inside of you. Don't be afraid to let others see your sparkles shine. Don't be discouraged or worried about not being good enough in someone else's eyes, because no matter what you do, someone will make up in their own minds anyway what they think of you. But this isn't their life to live. It's yours, And believe it or not, you are finally in a place where you are so connected to yourself, so confident in yourself. So please don't waste any more years feeling like you are not enough, because, my darling, you're more than enough. The love and approval you are hoping to get outside of yourself is deep within you. When you're a little baby, you love yourself unconditionally. When you were a toddler, you were silly and goofy, and you love yourself no matter what others thought. Other people's beliefs and opinions came in and started to morph that pure mind of yours. All you need to do is slow down, get more in touch with yourself and move from your heart, listen to your gut intuition, and love yourself so much that you truly don't mind if others don't like you, as long as you're moving in a way that makes yourself proud, they can think what they want to think. Crazy thing is what anyone else thinks of you, and even what you think of yourself is only a persona. We are all just beings with ideas we've made up in our own minds of who we are. You are going to have one really hard year in twenty twenty two, one of the hardest years of your life. You're going to get to a point where you have no choice but to do this work because you are going to feel depressed and have regular panic attacks. Always trust life is giving you what you need in the right moments, because that's exactly what this test is. Even though it feels really big, really tough, and like your whole world is falling apart, remain grateful, grateful for your incredible husband. He will help you through this chapter more than you can ever imagine. Your beautiful kids will continue to help you smile on days where you didn't even think it was possible, and your amazing friends will help you to put back together the shattered pieces of your heart again. This low will completely transform your life. It will make you re evaluate everything. It will make you reassess everything and shift you to a lifestyle that is so much more aligned with yourself. I can't read because my eyes. If you want to take time ps you eventually do, learn to tune in, listen to your heart, your intuition, and start being the playful, kind, beautifully spirited fund you again, the you that has always been there but has been shut off for far too long. So don't wait. Believe me, trust me, trust you. Life is too short to let any outside ideas or noise stop you from living your best and most aligned life. You are here on this earth, given this incredible opportunity called life. Enjoy every day and be thankful to just be here, because every extra minute you get of this life is a complete blessing within itself.

That's so beautiful, so nice, so nice, so nice for everyone, even though that starts for you. I feel like everyone listening they needed to hear that. Yeah, all the reminders in there, that's so beautif.

Even when you like you look back at yourself, you know, when you start this journey, or even when you were younger, you just wish you had somebody to like say those things to you, yes, to just be like, don't wait. I feel like we all just like hold on to all this resentment or hold back on the way that we feel, or it's like built up energy almost and like resistance. And as soon as you just start to like, oh, just open yourself up, be your true self, let yourself shine, like your life is just so much better.

So interesting to you how it normally takes Like and this is a belief that I've had to kind of break the cycle. And it was through a conversation I had with my old coach Taylor. But I felt like a lot of my pivotal moments have been through when I've hit rock bottom and really hard times because the universe kind of forces you to take a different path and make big decisions. I'm going to him and saying, like, you know, we're doing all this work and breaking all these cycles so our kids have a better life. But like, I'm really glad that I had that heard upbringing. I'm really glad that all these tough things happen because it shakes me to be who I am now. It's made me so resilient and so strong and appreciate so much more. How do I give my kids those lessons without them having to go through the pain that I went through. And he was just like, that's a limiting belief that you think that lessons have to come from pain. They don't have to. But yeah, I think for us, like a lot of it has come from those really hard times or.

Sometimes what happens too, I feel is like these moments that we go through early in life, like they shape us and you get stuck in your ways and then life gives you these moments to just completely reassess. But hopefully for our kids because I don't go through that hard shit, like, hopefully they can just be their true self and feel connected to themselves the whole time, whereas, like I know both of us have felt so out of touch with.

Ourselves throughout life. Yeah, yeah, it's really exciting for our kids just have a totally different experience. But it's cool that we can share all of this and grow and it has shaped us to be who we are today definitely, And that's why now when the universe gives me something really hard from experience, like my body, my mind, my heart knows I will be okay and I'll come out the other side. So that's when you have that inner trust and knowing it helps you be grateful for it. Yeah, rather than turn into a victim and hate the world and think like fuck, this isn't fair. It makes you go like caw, I don't know why this is happening right now, but I know that I'll get to the other side and I'll look back and be like, ah, because I learned this, because I took this opportunity, because I said no to that. I you know, whatever you decided to do, it's a blessing.

Yeah, definitely, I'm excited to hear yours.

Yes, I wrote a few different ones down, so I'll just read them out as I wrote them down. This is like more advice that I would give Tyler growing up, or i'd just give my younger self. You're exactly where you're meant to be. There is no wrong path. The path you chose felt right at the time, and even if it didn't feel right, you chose it because it had a higher purpose to expand and teach you something that you needed to learn for your next evolution of you. And I love that because you know how sometimes like when people go, oh, you know the right decision, you know what to do, like really go in sometimes I'm like, I actually don't, and I feel lost. But you still have to make a decision and just know whatever decision you do make, even if you're not sure if it's the right one, it is the right one, yeah, because at that time that's what you chose. So even if you weren't sure, there's one that you leant more into and you took a chance with and that leads you to where you meant to be. So you just have to know and trust my next one. There'll always be someone prettier, richer, more popular, and smarter than you, But it does not take away from the light that you bring to this world. It doesn't make you ugly. It doesn't make you less worthy or not as important either. Comparing and trying to keep up with others will leave you always feeling like you're not enough and dead inside. Please don't waste your precious time on this. I just feel like growing up, and I think it's even harder in this day and age with young teenagers growing up with social media is they always are going to see everyone's highlight reel and there's always going to be someone better than them, and it leaves you feeling not enough. If you keep looking at everyone's highlight reels, not remembering they to go through struggles, and they too have self work issues, and they doubt themselves, and they go through hard moments. You're always going to never feel enough. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, it's why the outside noise can get so noisy, and that's why it's so important to pull yourself off social media if you're feeling like this, and why I feel like we're going to be so protective of our kids having social media and spending time scrolling, because they're just taking all that noise and their little mind starts to compare every little thing. It's dangerous. Paris is a thief of joy, it really is. I saw that there was I think we spoke about LEVI. There was a petition going around for it to not be legal for kids under sixteen to be on social media apps. And I think that's such a good idea. That's a great idea, but I don't think it will happen. I just remember growing up thinking that everyone's always better than me and I can't compete with it. So it almost like give up on myself and give up and say no to certain situations or opportunities because I was just never going to be enough, but these other girls are. Yeah, definitely, And it's like whatever you look for you'll find as well. Yeah one, my next one. Try to be aware of what you feel attached to. I want you to try to detach from people, situations, expectations, homes, jobs, and opportunities. If something doesn't work out, please trust it. When one door closes, another three will open up that are way more aligned. When you close there something, you create space for even more light, beauty, and connection. When you detach from everything, you attract everything. When you don't need anything, you gain everything. I love.

That goes for so many different areas of life, feel like friendships, businesses, literally everything.

I just think it's been such a big change that I made years ago because I just used to be so attached to so much, even like home. Steve wants like a forever home and I moved around a lot as the kids. I've never been attached to having one home, and I get why people are it's special and sentimental, but like for me, I love moving around. It's like fresh energy in your environment. It inspires me again and it's like an adventure. Yeah, and I love it. And you just never know when something could be taken away. So if you don't have an attachment to it, it's not as hurtful, it's not as disappointing. You don't put yourself through as much pain. So which I learned that earlier. When you feel like you're breaking down, you are actually breaking free and breaking through from what's not serving you. This is really amazing, So embrace these moments because you're about to enter a whole new, exciting chapter. I love that breaking down is like so heavy and hard, but if you change the language like breaking free from what's not serving you or breaking through something that makes it like a high vibration, you need to go through that to come out the other side. Yeah, breakdown means a breakthrough and break free. This one we've all heard before, but I would still tell it to my younger self earlier on Tatala. Some people are in your life for a lesson, some are there for a season or a reason, and then some are there for a lifetime. But the more that you stay connected to yourself, the more you can feel into who's here for each of those and know they are all perfect and they all serve a purpose that's beautiful and it's so hard when you go through relationship breakdowns or friendship breakdowns or anything in your life. Like even there's been certain work friends and I'm like, oh, those work friends weren't my real friends. They were work friends, but I thought we'd be friends outside of work. But they were there for a purpose and for a reason and for a season, and that was beautiful and perfect. It served them me having a job they could work at, and it served me having this incredible staff member that helped my business. But outside of that, it was no more. And that was a hard pill for me to swallow. But I was like, they served their purpose and they were there for the reason and the season.

That was fun. They were there.

Yeah, it's beautiful. And then there's some friendships like that I've had literally since I was like fifteen, and they're still stronger than ever. Yeah, like most of my really close friends I've had since teenage years and I feel like they just locked in and solid.

Wasn't it you that sent me that thing the other day? Like, once you reach seventy years of friendship, seven years, seven years of friendship, it's like pretty locked.

In, locked in. Yeah, Yeah, that's really cool, I know. Interesting Hey, So it's just a real that I sent here because I think we're past our seven years now too.

I think we've probably got like our seven year annivers maybe front of ursery cute.

Oh my gosh, that's so cute. So this's real. Was just yeah, like if your friendships get past seven years their lifetime friends. Yeah, And I was like, that's.

Really cool, and I feel like when you reflect and think about that, it's pretty dang.

Yeah, it's pretty spot on, isn't it. But then again, like some friends might come into your life and then you might have a season where you're not that close. So yeah, every friendship has different seasons. Yeah, I really love that. Yeah, it helps take the pain away if things don't work out, definitely don't like, No, I can appreciate and I'm so grateful for that season, for the purpose and things they taught me and the fun that we did have. Yeah. Yeah, And I know there's a lot of women struggling because I get dems about it all the time. My life has been very public on social media, so people have seen when I'm not as close to someone, and everyone makes up their own narrative, but in true honesty, a lot of it just has dwindled apart. Yeah, and it's hard, It really is hard. So I think it's nice to just go back to the gratitude of what the friendship was. I know a lot of women are struggling with this because I get a lot of Dan's been like, how do you cope, you know, with your friendship breaking down with this person? Or like, you know, you guys seen so close and do you just not see each other? And we're like, I'm having that struggles with my friendships, and I always go back to that. I'm like, well, you know, sometimes you're close to people and sometimes you're not. Yeah, and that's just the way life is. Yeah, but have gratitude for all of it. This one's really helped me repair my relationship with my mum over the years, which if you have not listened to that episode, oh my god, listened to it, Please go and listen to it. It was incredible. She spoke so open and so vulnerable, and at the start she said our relationship was not always this strong, which is very true. But this really helped me with my healing of forgiveness and understanding and compassion for how my mum was through the abuse of my stepfather and just the hard times we went through him. And the advice is your parents did the best that they could with what they knew at the time, and every generation does better than the last. And please know that any moments that didn't feel loving, it doesn't mean that you were not deserving of love in that moment. I love that, and I do. I look back at my mom and I'm like, I don't know how she got through those years with three children, feeling so alone, so unsupported. I can't even imagine going through that. Like I've never been in a quote unquote bad relationship neither. I've only been treated so lovely by the relationships I've been And I can't imagine what she went through. She literally did the best that she could. And she looks back on her mum and she tells me stories of things that happened to her and I'm like, whoa, but it's even worse. Yeah, and her mom did the best that she could. And then you go back generations through war and through everything, like it was horrific back then. So every generation gets better and better. But just like if you're holding anger, resentment, and judgment towards your parents, like I know it's so hard, but you just have to understand they did the best they can, even my.

Stepdad, And you don't have to forgive, but even just for your own pc yind just to have some understanding and some compassion and be like, okay, just release it. Yeah, just to let it go and hold on.

Saying breath works really help with that as well. But like even my stepdad, like I would never have a relationship with him, no ever, but I can still look at that man, not face to face, I don't ever see him, but I can still reflect back and go, I don't know what happened in your childhood, but something's happened to make you the way that you are. You would not be treating children like this. You would not be treating your wife like this. You will not be treating yourself, your body, your health like everything he did was just it felt so disrespectful. But who knows what he went through to be like that. That's a lot of pain. There is so much trauma and pain in that man for him to be showing up like that, Like, I honestly have compassion for him. I don't choose to be around it. Yeah, I don't wish upon anyone what happened to us. But I definitely in my heart still have compassion for like whatever the fuck he went through.

Definitely.

Yeah, that's just a nice way to live, isn't it This that I saw on Instagram the other day? There are people that will never support you because it's you. Then there's people that will always support you because it's you. You just got to find your people. Don't settle? So true, isn't it Some people that just will never support you, they just decided they don't like you. Yeah. And then there's people that just like you're always there social media. Do you see, like regular the same women pop up in your inbox and they're just always supporting. I know, you scroll back and it's like twenty sixteen, twenty twelve, I'm like, wow, you it's always shown up for me, even if it's just to swipe up with a love heart or like thinking of you or hope you're well, or like great.

Lawns, always there with good vibes and just cheer, just cheering you on, and they always will just because they just see you who you are.

And there's people that just always fucking hate you.

Yeah, no matter what you do, no matter what you do. You've already made up the mind about you anyway.

It's like, what's that saying? You could be the juices ripest peach in the world. Will it be someone that doesn't like peaches? So it doesn't matter what kind of peach you are, you can doesn't like peaches. But it's so true, Hayes, So true. Yeah, I thought that was a really good one. Good one. So they're just little bite sized chunks that you guys can hopefully take away write them down maybe or maybe it's just one of them's landed and going ah. Like say, if you are shruggling with your friendship to be like, Okay, that's really sad that that friendship fell apart, but wow we had some really good times together. Yeah, they really helped me through a dark time. They might not be here now, but like I wouldn't been able to get through that time without them, And that was a really beautiful task.

I pushed you, guys and urge you to go write yourself a letter or write down little things when they pop up in your mind that you would want to say to your younger self when you're having a low day, reflect on them, back at them and be like, yeah, no, this is really nice, like I deserve that love, I deserve this, and yeah, it was a really beautiful, like touching thing to do. I cried when I was writing it, and they cried again, and it's all those beautiful little releases and it's happy tears. I just feel so grateful.

And sometimes those tears are uncried tears that you didn't get to cry when you were younger, like let them come up now. Yeah, And it might feel uncomfortable writing a letter like that, but that's okay, like lean into it. We keep running from everything that's uncomfortable with this society. I feel like wants everything to be easy, fast accessible. It's even like eats and everything's everything is easy.

Fast and accessible, even trying to like go to appointments and stuff, like a lot of them. Now you can comfortable your home, like everything's been made so much more comfortable.

I feel like, which is great in some sense, but like other things, like it's okay to feel uncomfortable. That's how you grow, absolutely, how you get to know the deeper layers of yourself.

And we need to get more comfortable. Yeah, situations, Yeah, one hundred percent what I see the other day, it was like, hard decisions today make tomorrow easier.

Easy decisions today make it tomorrow tomorrow harder. And isn't that true? So true? It's like with your food, for example, if you didn't put in the work to prep your lunch or whatever, Yeah, it's easier today, but then you feel like shit tomorrow. Getting takeaway was if you put the hard effort in and like prep your food and cook it up and put it in your containers, it's easier tomorrow. Definitely, so true, right, uh huh freaking love that saying it out loud. Oh, thanks for joining us. Don't forget on Friday uploads like a little mini episode and basically it's a highlight from a previous one.

I've got so many now so you never know what you're going to get.

Yeah, if you've only got like five teren minutes, the Friday ones are nice, little bite sized reminders and little pep talks and pick me up.

So they're actually going really well. Yeah, you guys are loving and when we look at the stats, we were surprised loving the little Friday.

It's just good. If you've only got a couple of minutes. Yeah, thanks for joining us.

We'll see ya next time.

Bye,