Nicole Liddell is doing her PhD on coercive control, specifically how technology gets used to keep the control going even after someone leaves. And honestly, the examples are equal parts terrifying and ridiculously sneaky. Bank transfers with threats in the reference line. Smart home systems taken over remotely. A bloody robovac being used like a creepy little spy cam on wheels.

But the part that really landed was the human cost of researching this stuff when you’ve lived it. Nicole talks about going in 'eyes wide open', thinking she had it handled… then realising she didn’t. The immersion, the algorithms, the constant exposure, the nervous system never switching off. And then her body basically calling time on the whole thing.

From there, it turned into this really honest convo about hypervigilance, dating after dodgy history, rigidity, and learning to live in the messy middle instead of either fawning or fleeing. We talked self-respect, boundaries, communicating needs, and why 'fun' is not a cute extra, it’s medicine. And Nicole’s 2026 word is stewardship, which feels like the most grown-up, grounded way to say, I’m not sacrificing myself to the mission anymore. BOOM!!

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TIFFANEE COOK

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