Gay Team. Welcome to another episode of Roll with the Punches podcast. I'm your host, Tip Cook, and today you and I we are talking to a phenomenal woman. Her name is Carla Raiins and I met her recently doing my favorite thing, hanging out in the boxing gym. We ran a session together with her crew. Now, Carla is the founder and CEO of Bridget, which is an amazing organization working with young females and homelessness in Australia. She's doing incredible work there. You'll hear a bit about it. That's it from me. I'm going to get out of the way and you can have listened to our conversation. Nobody wants to go to court and don'te. My friends are test Art Family Lawyers. Know that they offer all forms of alternative dispute resolution. Their team of Melbourne family lawyers have extensive experience in all areas of family law to facto and same sex couples, custody and children, family violence and intervention orders, property settlements and financial agreements. Test Art is in your corner, so reach out to Mark and the team at www dot test Artfamilylawyers dot com dot au. Hang on, stop the bus wait right there, I just want to take a moment before the episode to let you know about a couple of online workshops and programs that I have coming up, because I am super excited about them. The first one is a ninety minute workshop online. It is called why the Fuck Am I Stuck? And I'm going to be talking about all things self sabotage, repeating patterns, dysfunctional relationships, habits, underlying beliefs, the unconscious mind, comfort zones, environmental triggers, emotional dysregulation, toxic behavior, values, purpose, old stories, trauma, ego, people pleasing, negative self talk, all of the shit that can get in our way and keep us stuck despite our very best efforts of wanting to move forward or be something different or do something different. Feels like you, then come and join the conversation. It is a cracking twenty seven Australian dollars. You do well to buy a handful of avocados for that price, so get around it. And if you can't come live, then you can definitely watch the recording. It will be available to everybody who registers. That is December twelfth, and then next year in twenty twenty five, early February I will be starting the next round of the mind PT That is me, The mind PT Reps for your mind Ten Rounds with Tiff Ten Rounds with TIF is a ten week program designed to transform your mindset, build resilience, help you build the life you want. Take life's punches in the face and turn them into wins. Take adversity and turn it into your greatest Ally. It is your ultimate mastering for mental, emotional, and physical well being. And we are diving in deep, deeper than I would say, in my fair opinion, deeper than a lot of ten week programs. Do mental emotional, physical wellbeing, energy, opt myation, self confidence, understanding and overcoming trauma, understanding your values, finding purpose, figuring out what the fuck we're doing here in this life and how to do it better, and how to take responsibility for the things that we can actually change and we can sometimes we just don't fucking understand it. It's all about perspective, it's all about taking control, and I'm all about heavily supporting a small group of people through that process ten weeks at a time. I am currently coming towards the end of my current session of that, and it is filling my cup and I am absolutely loving it. So if you want to be a part of it, it is a small group and there are limited numbers of that one, So please reach out to me for either of these two workshops. Reach out to me via Tiffcook dot com, send me an email and say I want in, and I will send you the link to check out the details of the programs and you can go from there. Carlrainees, welcome to Roll with the Punches.

Gay Team. Welcome to another episode of Roll with the Punches podcast. I'm your host, Tip Cook, and today you and I we are talking to a phenomenal woman. Her name is Carla Raiins and I met her recently doing my favorite thing, hanging out in the boxing gym. We ran a session together with her crew. Now, Carla is the founder and CEO of Bridget, which is an amazing organization working with young females and homelessness in Australia. She's doing incredible work there. You'll hear a bit about it. That's it from me. I'm going to get out of the way and you can have listened to our conversation. Nobody wants to go to court and don'te. My friends are test Art Family Lawyers. Know that they offer all forms of alternative dispute resolution. Their team of Melbourne family lawyers have extensive experience in all areas of family law to facto and same sex couples, custody and children, family violence and intervention orders, property settlements and financial agreements. Test Art is in your corner, so reach out to Mark and the team at www dot test Artfamilylawyers dot com dot au. Hang on, stop the bus wait right there, I just want to take a moment before the episode to let you know about a couple of online workshops and programs that I have coming up, because I am super excited about them. The first one is a ninety minute workshop online. It is called why the Fuck Am I Stuck? And I'm going to be talking about all things self sabotage, repeating patterns, dysfunctional relationships, habits, underlying beliefs, the unconscious mind, comfort zones, environmental triggers, emotional dysregulation, toxic behavior, values, purpose, old stories, trauma, ego, people pleasing, negative self talk, all of the shit that can get in our way and keep us stuck despite our very best efforts of wanting to move forward or be something different or do something different. Feels like you, then come and join the conversation. It is a cracking twenty seven Australian dollars. You do well to buy a handful of avocados for that price, so get around it. And if you can't come live, then you can definitely watch the recording. It will be available to everybody who registers. That is December twelfth, and then next year in twenty twenty five, early February I will be starting the next round of the mind PT That is me, The mind PT Reps for your mind Ten Rounds with Tiff Ten Rounds with TIF is a ten week program designed to transform your mindset, build resilience, help you build the life you want. Take life's punches in the face and turn them into wins. Take adversity and turn it into your greatest Ally. It is your ultimate mastering for mental, emotional, and physical well being. And we are diving in deep, deeper than I would say, in my fair opinion, deeper than a lot of ten week programs. Do mental emotional, physical wellbeing, energy, opt myation, self confidence, understanding and overcoming trauma, understanding your values, finding purpose, figuring out what the fuck we're doing here in this life and how to do it better, and how to take responsibility for the things that we can actually change and we can sometimes we just don't fucking understand it. It's all about perspective, it's all about taking control, and I'm all about heavily supporting a small group of people through that process ten weeks at a time. I am currently coming towards the end of my current session of that, and it is filling my cup and I am absolutely loving it. So if you want to be a part of it, it is a small group and there are limited numbers of that one, So please reach out to me for either of these two workshops. Reach out to me via Tiffcook dot com, send me an email and say I want in, and I will send you the link to check out the details of the programs and you can go from there. Carlrainees, welcome to Roll with the Punches.

Thank you for having me. I am super excited to talk to you.

Thank you for having me. I am super excited to talk to you.

Mate as we record this, which will be when everyone else is listening. That'll be yoonks ago because I'm a bit ahead of schedule right now, which is great. But your girl, Talia Isaac her episode drops this next episode. I think it's what day is it today? So she drops on Thursday. It is Monday right now, the twenty eighth of October. She will be dropping in a few days time. What an incredible human.

Mate as we record this, which will be when everyone else is listening. That'll be yoonks ago because I'm a bit ahead of schedule right now, which is great. But your girl, Talia Isaac her episode drops this next episode. I think it's what day is it today? So she drops on Thursday. It is Monday right now, the twenty eighth of October. She will be dropping in a few days time. What an incredible human.

I'm so completely inspired by the amazing Talia as I am with you like this is my big thing at the moment is I just want to surround myself by strong, amazing, inspirational women who are doing cool shit.

I'm so completely inspired by the amazing Talia as I am with you like this is my big thing at the moment is I just want to surround myself by strong, amazing, inspirational women who are doing cool shit.

And isn't life better when you realize who you want to be around. OK. I think when you get deliberate about that, then you notice when you are and then it just seems to happen. And I don't know, like it's the chicken or the egg what came first.

And isn't life better when you realize who you want to be around. OK. I think when you get deliberate about that, then you notice when you are and then it just seems to happen. And I don't know, like it's the chicken or the egg what came first.

I think when you pumping out a certain energy, people with a similar energy come to you.

I think when you pumping out a certain energy, people with a similar energy come to you.

Yeah. Yeah, I found that energy sitting on the mountain Karla oh, sitting on the mountain in the Himalayas looking down at the clouds. I was like, hey, look down there, that's a cloud and I'm on top of it.

Yeah. Yeah, I found that energy sitting on the mountain Karla oh, sitting on the mountain in the Himalayas looking down at the clouds. I was like, hey, look down there, that's a cloud and I'm on top of it.

How did you find the physicalness of the hikes?

How did you find the physicalness of the hikes?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Fine, Now the actual hiking, I like when I talk about it now, I don't feel like I'm talking about it an active holiday, an active retreat. We did some hiking. We did five days of hiking, but it was very you know, we mended, and I think the energy of the mountains and the scenery and the things that were happening in my mind and my body at the time kind of overtook any Oh, we're in you know, we're four thousand meters up and there's a bit of altitude stuff going on. The only time once that I would comment on the altitude is when you hop up in the morning and you go down the mountain and you find a little Heidi hold to go and have your morning we and then you've got to come back up and it's like truck truck and I'm like, oh, what such an effort to get up here, and there's like, oh, yeah, we're at altitude.

Fine, Now the actual hiking, I like when I talk about it now, I don't feel like I'm talking about it an active holiday, an active retreat. We did some hiking. We did five days of hiking, but it was very you know, we mended, and I think the energy of the mountains and the scenery and the things that were happening in my mind and my body at the time kind of overtook any Oh, we're in you know, we're four thousand meters up and there's a bit of altitude stuff going on. The only time once that I would comment on the altitude is when you hop up in the morning and you go down the mountain and you find a little Heidi hold to go and have your morning we and then you've got to come back up and it's like truck truck and I'm like, oh, what such an effort to get up here, and there's like, oh, yeah, we're at altitude.

Yes, yeah, only time it's pretty intense. I remember doing it. I did some tricks up in Northern India as well, many years ago. But yeah, I remember it felt like i'd smoke like a sixty pack of fags or something.

Yes, yeah, only time it's pretty intense. I remember doing it. I did some tricks up in Northern India as well, many years ago. But yeah, I remember it felt like i'd smoke like a sixty pack of fags or something.

I'm just like, bounce.

I'm just like, bounce.

Did you go.

Did you go.

Past him? A ChIL Kadesh.

Past him? A ChIL Kadesh.

I can't remember the exact places, but like near the border of Nepal, so yeah, near the top of the border of Nepal is where I went hiking. But probably nothing as intense as what you did. But it was just steps, just constant steps, Like was it all steps where you were climbing?

I can't remember the exact places, but like near the border of Nepal, so yeah, near the top of the border of Nepal is where I went hiking. But probably nothing as intense as what you did. But it was just steps, just constant steps, Like was it all steps where you were climbing?

Yeah? Yeah, and just under like underfoot, like just like rocky and unstable, and like we had walking poles and I was thinking, I thought there's a real overkill, but or we had a walking pole, but you really need it because you're without it, it's quite unsteady under your feet because you're just and you can't look around, like you have to stop to look around. And I guess that's a part of the altitude as well that I wasn't really recognizing at the time, is if I wanted to just have a look, I don't know, Like it's surreal. Sometimes you feel like you're each side you look over you could just tumble down to the abyss thousands of kilometers down, even though that's not the case, but the perspective you have when you're on the top of a mountain like that, so I'd have to stop and turn around and just pause to take it all. And you can't just look around, And yeah, he has.

Yeah? Yeah, and just under like underfoot, like just like rocky and unstable, and like we had walking poles and I was thinking, I thought there's a real overkill, but or we had a walking pole, but you really need it because you're without it, it's quite unsteady under your feet because you're just and you can't look around, like you have to stop to look around. And I guess that's a part of the altitude as well that I wasn't really recognizing at the time, is if I wanted to just have a look, I don't know, Like it's surreal. Sometimes you feel like you're each side you look over you could just tumble down to the abyss thousands of kilometers down, even though that's not the case, but the perspective you have when you're on the top of a mountain like that, so I'd have to stop and turn around and just pause to take it all. And you can't just look around, And yeah, he has.

To take those moments, those magical moments. Don't you very cool? I'm so glad you had such an amazing time. I remember the biggest hike I.

To take those moments, those magical moments. Don't you very cool? I'm so glad you had such an amazing time. I remember the biggest hike I.

Did in the pool.

Did in the pool.

We got all the way to the top and it took days and then and then we sat there and it was complete cloud cover, and the guy that took us on the track gave me a postcard and said, this is what it looks like. Oh no, it was one of those amazing comedy moments though, because you're just like, I don't even care. I'm just happy I'm live at this stage, like I am just happy that I made it to the top of his mountain.

We got all the way to the top and it took days and then and then we sat there and it was complete cloud cover, and the guy that took us on the track gave me a postcard and said, this is what it looks like. Oh no, it was one of those amazing comedy moments though, because you're just like, I don't even care. I'm just happy I'm live at this stage, like I am just happy that I made it to the top of his mountain.

It's quite funny because pictures don't grasp what you see. And I took so many pictures and I look at them now and I'm still wowed by them. But I know that in the moment, I would take a picture and I'd look at it, and I'd look at the real thing and go, oh, I just can't how am I going to show people this? I can't get it. It's not the same. But we were really lucky. The weather was amazed and we got to our camping spot on the on the second night and it was all cloudy, so we didn't see much. But then in the morning we wake up and we see what is going through our campsite for three nights and we were just like, oh, this is mad.

It's quite funny because pictures don't grasp what you see. And I took so many pictures and I look at them now and I'm still wowed by them. But I know that in the moment, I would take a picture and I'd look at it, and I'd look at the real thing and go, oh, I just can't how am I going to show people this? I can't get it. It's not the same. But we were really lucky. The weather was amazed and we got to our camping spot on the on the second night and it was all cloudy, so we didn't see much. But then in the morning we wake up and we see what is going through our campsite for three nights and we were just like, oh, this is mad.

It all.

It all.

It was like so many meant to be moments like that where you go it's just like that was meant to happen. Or we'd be walking to a peak and we'd get to it and we'd have our lunch and then it would clear and we would just go, oh, how lucky that in the half an hour that we're spending here the clouds disappear, and then as we go home they're coming back again and it's foggy again.

It was like so many meant to be moments like that where you go it's just like that was meant to happen. Or we'd be walking to a peak and we'd get to it and we'd have our lunch and then it would clear and we would just go, oh, how lucky that in the half an hour that we're spending here the clouds disappear, and then as we go home they're coming back again and it's foggy again.

It's crazy, amazing, amazing, what an experience.

It's crazy, amazing, amazing, what an experience.

Cool.

Cool.

Anyway, you better tell myself and my listeners. Who's carlor Reins.

Anyway, you better tell myself and my listeners. Who's carlor Reins.

So I'm a mom of two amazing children.

So I'm a mom of two amazing children.

I've got a daughter Billy who's just about to turn five and a son Ted who's just about turn three.

I've got a daughter Billy who's just about to turn five and a son Ted who's just about turn three.

You can hear on from England, came over here twelve years ago.

You can hear on from England, came over here twelve years ago.

I'm obsessed with sounds really cheesy, but making the world a better place, like doing things that have a positive social impact. So I'm also the founder and CEO of the youth homelessness organization in Melbourne called Bridget and more recently set up a new social enterprise challenge to the label that's all about elevating the voices of amazing women who have had more diverse life experiences and now a leading social and environmental change.

I'm obsessed with sounds really cheesy, but making the world a better place, like doing things that have a positive social impact. So I'm also the founder and CEO of the youth homelessness organization in Melbourne called Bridget and more recently set up a new social enterprise challenge to the label that's all about elevating the voices of amazing women who have had more diverse life experiences and now a leading social and environmental change.

I love it. We got introduced by Donnie who came to me instead. I've got this amazing team that want to do a PT session then want to do boxing session together. And I had an absolute ball watching like as in terms of a business coming in with their team and wanting to do something together. I just your whole team had this great energy. I loved it, and we connected straight away, and I was like, I think we need to I think we need to have a check because you're doing some amazing things and I.

I love it. We got introduced by Donnie who came to me instead. I've got this amazing team that want to do a PT session then want to do boxing session together. And I had an absolute ball watching like as in terms of a business coming in with their team and wanting to do something together. I just your whole team had this great energy. I loved it, and we connected straight away, and I was like, I think we need to I think we need to have a check because you're doing some amazing things and I.

Know it's all like I know that it all hinges on having the most amazing team. So like I've created the most incredible team at Bridget and I'm so grateful for that. And they're always up for the crazy things that kind of come like round and boxing or we did like a radio ball competition for our mediea tech team day and they're always up for that stuff. And absolutely like connected with you straight away. It was so because you're all powerful woman energy, so and thank you for being so patient with me, where I just like cannot no, I just do not know how to throw a punch.

Know it's all like I know that it all hinges on having the most amazing team. So like I've created the most incredible team at Bridget and I'm so grateful for that. And they're always up for the crazy things that kind of come like round and boxing or we did like a radio ball competition for our mediea tech team day and they're always up for that stuff. And absolutely like connected with you straight away. It was so because you're all powerful woman energy, so and thank you for being so patient with me, where I just like cannot no, I just do not know how to throw a punch.

I came from the same experience I love. One of the things I love most is getting women with the gloves on because it's such a it's just not a natural thing that women and get to do so when I get to train someone who's who's gone through their whole life and have never experienced how to use their own physical power or even mental and emotional or you might even call it spiritual power, like to feel power and be allowed to exert it is a really big emotional thing for women. And there's some women that have come and thrown punches just in their first session and kind of gotten quite overwhelmed. And you know, even have had people kind of tear up and go that they felt amazing because they haven't been able to feel strong in their body. They haven't been told that I can use this body to protect myself or I can use this body to create force. And it's exciting.

I came from the same experience I love. One of the things I love most is getting women with the gloves on because it's such a it's just not a natural thing that women and get to do so when I get to train someone who's who's gone through their whole life and have never experienced how to use their own physical power or even mental and emotional or you might even call it spiritual power, like to feel power and be allowed to exert it is a really big emotional thing for women. And there's some women that have come and thrown punches just in their first session and kind of gotten quite overwhelmed. And you know, even have had people kind of tear up and go that they felt amazing because they haven't been able to feel strong in their body. They haven't been told that I can use this body to protect myself or I can use this body to create force. And it's exciting.

It is exciting.

It is exciting.

I think we're so we're so conditioned, I think to behave in a certain way and be a certain way, and that's just doing something that is outside of that does feel very exhilarating. Like my whole team, which were all women other than one of us, we all walked.

I think we're so we're so conditioned, I think to behave in a certain way and be a certain way, and that's just doing something that is outside of that does feel very exhilarating. Like my whole team, which were all women other than one of us, we all walked.

Away like plumped, like, yeah, oh my god, we want to do that more.

Away like plumped, like, yeah, oh my god, we want to do that more.

But as you know, I was ready to get in the ring because also I'm extraordinarily competitive, So it's like that is fun.

But as you know, I was ready to get in the ring because also I'm extraordinarily competitive, So it's like that is fun.

That was fun, But like I.

That was fun, But like I.

Would love to come back down and actually get an opportunity. Just make sure you pay me with someone equally new and if you're.

Would love to come back down and actually get an opportunity. Just make sure you pay me with someone equally new and if you're.

Right, let's do it, mate, let's do it. We've got to get you in there. Tell us a little bit about challenge and not challenged, but I will talk about that soon. Tell me about Bridget. When did it start? How did it start? What do you do?

Right, let's do it, mate, let's do it. We've got to get you in there. Tell us a little bit about challenge and not challenged, but I will talk about that soon. Tell me about Bridget. When did it start? How did it start? What do you do?

So? So Bridget is just over three years old.

So? So Bridget is just over three years old.

It started because I've been so I've been working in the homelessness sector for twenty years. It's a very sad and often depressing space to work in, and like a lot of homelessness workers, I was doing it because I deeply wanted to have an impact, Like I really wanted to see people get homes and people to thrive in life. But what you kind of learn pretty quickly when you work in homelessness, and this is true in the UK and in Australia where I've worked in both countries, is you can start to feel like you're part of the problem, not part of the solution, because you're in a system that's dramatically underfunded, where there's not enough homes, where the solutions don't meet the needs of the people that are accessing the services. So I would say a traumatized service supporting traumatized people.

It started because I've been so I've been working in the homelessness sector for twenty years. It's a very sad and often depressing space to work in, and like a lot of homelessness workers, I was doing it because I deeply wanted to have an impact, Like I really wanted to see people get homes and people to thrive in life. But what you kind of learn pretty quickly when you work in homelessness, and this is true in the UK and in Australia where I've worked in both countries, is you can start to feel like you're part of the problem, not part of the solution, because you're in a system that's dramatically underfunded, where there's not enough homes, where the solutions don't meet the needs of the people that are accessing the services. So I would say a traumatized service supporting traumatized people.

And I just couldn't do it anymore. So it got to a point where I.

And I just couldn't do it anymore. So it got to a point where I.

Felt like I still wanted to be part of addressing homelessness for people, but I couldn't do it within the existing system because the existing system just wasn't working.

Felt like I still wanted to be part of addressing homelessness for people, but I couldn't do it within the existing system because the existing system just wasn't working.

And that's not a not.

And that's not a not.

A reflection on any of the other services or any of the other interventions. It's just that if it's never enough, like it's just not enough, so something neat, something new needed to happen. And then when I was eight weeks pregnant with my son Ted and had my small daughter at home, my one of my amazing mentors, the incredible Jane Tuson, who you would know because she's back some PCYC, was like, you've got to set up your own charity. And I'm like, here is ten reasons I can't do it. Like I'm pregnant, i don't have any money, I've got no connections, Like I've never been a CEO before, Like I don't have a lawyer, I don't know how to do that. Like all of those things, and she was like, no, we'll just tackle them one by one, each of those things. And then she said, if this doesn't go how we think it's going to go, then I'll give you a job. So it was just it was just amazing because I was like, well, I can't argue with that then, And it ended up being a very powerful and incredible experience, like seeing.

A reflection on any of the other services or any of the other interventions. It's just that if it's never enough, like it's just not enough, so something neat, something new needed to happen. And then when I was eight weeks pregnant with my son Ted and had my small daughter at home, my one of my amazing mentors, the incredible Jane Tuson, who you would know because she's back some PCYC, was like, you've got to set up your own charity. And I'm like, here is ten reasons I can't do it. Like I'm pregnant, i don't have any money, I've got no connections, Like I've never been a CEO before, Like I don't have a lawyer, I don't know how to do that. Like all of those things, and she was like, no, we'll just tackle them one by one, each of those things. And then she said, if this doesn't go how we think it's going to go, then I'll give you a job. So it was just it was just amazing because I was like, well, I can't argue with that then, And it ended up being a very powerful and incredible experience, like seeing.

My barely growing.

My barely growing.

Whilst whilst launching bridget so have had my amazing founding team around me who really supported the fact that I couldn't work like intensely long days and things because of growing a baby, and I was just so sick in my pregnancies. And then yeah, and then we just got this incredible connection through one of my board to a community housing provider called Housing First, who had a building in the middle of Saint Kilda that was absolutely perfect to run an accommodation program, a supportive housing program from, and the team and I just dreamed up like what would be the most amazing best thing, Like what would be the most powerful program, And together we created a program which we call the Cocoon. So it's essentially fully self contained apartments. If so, they're sixteen fully self contained apartments within one block. And then we've got all these communal spaces and sensory gardens and therapy rooms and all kinds of community spaces for the young people to come together. And we provide homes to young people who are typically around seventeen when they come to us. They come to us for around eighteen months. Usually by the time they've come to us, they've experienced very significant trauma. So either they've been removed from their families as children and a bit they've grown up in the out of foomcare system like foster care of residential care, or they've come from families that weren't able to provide them safe homes. So often they've parented themselves through childhood and then have gone on to experience homelessness and then have been kind of entrenched become entrenched in the homelessness system, and we provide them with safe home lived experience mentoring that we know is really important, so they can get support from people who have had a similar experience to them. We're just their Monday to Friday just to kind of support them. They've broken up with their boyfriend, whatever it is that kind of comes up, we support them to get into employment and education. And then we have a life and living skills program so they can learn all the skills that they need for life. And then really importantly, we have a huge range of different therapies. They can come for massage, accupuncture, music, therapy, see a GP, see a lawyer. So it's kind of like a It's a holistic program that addresses all parts of the young people's lives and then transitions them into the housing in the community with the goal which so far we're getting good success with that they don't then return to the system.

Whilst whilst launching bridget so have had my amazing founding team around me who really supported the fact that I couldn't work like intensely long days and things because of growing a baby, and I was just so sick in my pregnancies. And then yeah, and then we just got this incredible connection through one of my board to a community housing provider called Housing First, who had a building in the middle of Saint Kilda that was absolutely perfect to run an accommodation program, a supportive housing program from, and the team and I just dreamed up like what would be the most amazing best thing, Like what would be the most powerful program, And together we created a program which we call the Cocoon. So it's essentially fully self contained apartments. If so, they're sixteen fully self contained apartments within one block. And then we've got all these communal spaces and sensory gardens and therapy rooms and all kinds of community spaces for the young people to come together. And we provide homes to young people who are typically around seventeen when they come to us. They come to us for around eighteen months. Usually by the time they've come to us, they've experienced very significant trauma. So either they've been removed from their families as children and a bit they've grown up in the out of foomcare system like foster care of residential care, or they've come from families that weren't able to provide them safe homes. So often they've parented themselves through childhood and then have gone on to experience homelessness and then have been kind of entrenched become entrenched in the homelessness system, and we provide them with safe home lived experience mentoring that we know is really important, so they can get support from people who have had a similar experience to them. We're just their Monday to Friday just to kind of support them. They've broken up with their boyfriend, whatever it is that kind of comes up, we support them to get into employment and education. And then we have a life and living skills program so they can learn all the skills that they need for life. And then really importantly, we have a huge range of different therapies. They can come for massage, accupuncture, music, therapy, see a GP, see a lawyer. So it's kind of like a It's a holistic program that addresses all parts of the young people's lives and then transitions them into the housing in the community with the goal which so far we're getting good success with that they don't then return to the system.

Wow, wow, how do oh? So many questions? I love that so so much. I love about it. How are we selecting? We look at me, just slot myself into the equation?

Wow, wow, how do oh? So many questions? I love that so so much. I love about it. How are we selecting? We look at me, just slot myself into the equation?

Any member my cool?

Any member my cool?

Yeah, job down, just resume in. How are we selecting? And what is the demand?

Yeah, job down, just resume in. How are we selecting? And what is the demand?

Like?

Like?

Do is it? Are you? What's the pool of people you have to hopefully help? It's not really hopefully, isn't I wish you didn't have any to have to help? And how are they getting access or applying for access? How does it work? The logistics of that?

Do is it? Are you? What's the pool of people you have to hopefully help? It's not really hopefully, isn't I wish you didn't have any to have to help? And how are they getting access or applying for access? How does it work? The logistics of that?

The demand is so wildly huge because we've got this incredible escalating homelessness crisis in Victoria. So to manage the intensity of the demand, we had to partner with a couple of local organizations, so Salvation Army and Wombat And if we have a when have a vacancy, we let them know and then they they'll look at their young people that they are supporting, and the young person with the highest needs who can manage their staffing model, which is only nine to five Monday, we accept them. And so we and we try and be very courageous in saying yes. So try and always finding reasons to say yes, and try not to find reasons to say no. You know. And sometimes the young people how they read on paper, you think, wow, like.

The demand is so wildly huge because we've got this incredible escalating homelessness crisis in Victoria. So to manage the intensity of the demand, we had to partner with a couple of local organizations, so Salvation Army and Wombat And if we have a when have a vacancy, we let them know and then they they'll look at their young people that they are supporting, and the young person with the highest needs who can manage their staffing model, which is only nine to five Monday, we accept them. And so we and we try and be very courageous in saying yes. So try and always finding reasons to say yes, and try not to find reasons to say no. You know. And sometimes the young people how they read on paper, you think, wow, like.

This is this is this is tough, Like this is going to be tough.

This is this is this is tough, Like this is going to be tough.

But what we've seen is that young people, even when you know, for example, they're like pretty much in a syche board all the time before they come to us, when they come to us, those things typically just drop off because actually, if a young person's needs aren't being met, then the young person might do anything.

But what we've seen is that young people, even when you know, for example, they're like pretty much in a syche board all the time before they come to us, when they come to us, those things typically just drop off because actually, if a young person's needs aren't being met, then the young person might do anything.

To get the support or care that they need.

To get the support or care that they need.

So and that can be a range of different behaviors, you know, like smashing the place up self harming, high risk behaviors with men or crime or whatever. But actually, like when they come to the Cocoon and they're more contained and supported and they've got actually a real home people that actually give a shit about them, those behaviors tend to change, and like something like that.

So and that can be a range of different behaviors, you know, like smashing the place up self harming, high risk behaviors with men or crime or whatever. But actually, like when they come to the Cocoon and they're more contained and supported and they've got actually a real home people that actually give a shit about them, those behaviors tend to change, and like something like that.

I just love.

I just love.

Like one of my biggest joys about the Cocoon is when I get there in the morning and go into the room that we call the Butterfly Room, which is our main tumunal lounge for the young people. You can tell the young people have been in there, like they've been drinking cups of tea and hanging out and watching Netflix and doing all the things that young people do. But the whole room will be completely pristine, and pillows tweaked, chushions tweaked, and I just think it's almost like it was never intended to be an experiment, Like it was intended to be a beautiful, supportive home, but in a weird way it has I feel like there's almost a slight experiment element in that if you completely disrespect people and you give them the shittiest shit, like you give them a metal frame bed, it feels like a police sell and you give them like nothing nice and then you start getting punched, they start punching wools. But then actually if you give them like what they have at our cocoon, which is like we literally have like got an amazing piece of the incredible taliers are up in our Life and Living Skills Room the Hub, and we have like beautiful furniture, like design a furniture that's been donated and it's like every single thing this this is my twin, my identical twins sister was one of my founding team, and she's in charge of like all things aesthetic because the whole space is so well thought out, even down to the colors, the fabrics and the smell that actually the young people don't don't act in those really challenging ways in those spaces because they're so beautiful.

Like one of my biggest joys about the Cocoon is when I get there in the morning and go into the room that we call the Butterfly Room, which is our main tumunal lounge for the young people. You can tell the young people have been in there, like they've been drinking cups of tea and hanging out and watching Netflix and doing all the things that young people do. But the whole room will be completely pristine, and pillows tweaked, chushions tweaked, and I just think it's almost like it was never intended to be an experiment, Like it was intended to be a beautiful, supportive home, but in a weird way it has I feel like there's almost a slight experiment element in that if you completely disrespect people and you give them the shittiest shit, like you give them a metal frame bed, it feels like a police sell and you give them like nothing nice and then you start getting punched, they start punching wools. But then actually if you give them like what they have at our cocoon, which is like we literally have like got an amazing piece of the incredible taliers are up in our Life and Living Skills Room the Hub, and we have like beautiful furniture, like design a furniture that's been donated and it's like every single thing this this is my twin, my identical twins sister was one of my founding team, and she's in charge of like all things aesthetic because the whole space is so well thought out, even down to the colors, the fabrics and the smell that actually the young people don't don't act in those really challenging ways in those spaces because they're so beautiful.

Oh god, what are we? What are we getting wrong in the system? And not in a way that's dropping people in it, but we get bound by you know, I spoke to earlier. Italian's background is that of dealing with incarcerated women and helping them merge back into society and build a life. And I've had a lot of conversations around like Fritzy Hortsman was one of my early guests and she runs the Compassion Prison Project in the States. She was on the Wisdom of Trauma with doctor Bourmata, and so she goes into the toughest prisons over in the States and teaches about a scores and childhood adversity. And her theory is, as a lot of ours are, is that hurt people hurt people like, trauma people like and that's exactly like you say, a traumatized system, traumatized dealing with traumatized people. And so much of the system is built so great. People get into this work and then abound by shitty, outdated approaches. And then by the time I'm probably answering my own question or just rambling. But by the time they realize that and they've spent a bit of time in and around that, they feel like their hands are tired, and they're frustrated and pissed off. They get out and they can't see the light. You seem to have seen a light and created massive change in an industry that's not all being able to do that. What's to go?

Oh god, what are we? What are we getting wrong in the system? And not in a way that's dropping people in it, but we get bound by you know, I spoke to earlier. Italian's background is that of dealing with incarcerated women and helping them merge back into society and build a life. And I've had a lot of conversations around like Fritzy Hortsman was one of my early guests and she runs the Compassion Prison Project in the States. She was on the Wisdom of Trauma with doctor Bourmata, and so she goes into the toughest prisons over in the States and teaches about a scores and childhood adversity. And her theory is, as a lot of ours are, is that hurt people hurt people like, trauma people like and that's exactly like you say, a traumatized system, traumatized dealing with traumatized people. And so much of the system is built so great. People get into this work and then abound by shitty, outdated approaches. And then by the time I'm probably answering my own question or just rambling. But by the time they realize that and they've spent a bit of time in and around that, they feel like their hands are tired, and they're frustrated and pissed off. They get out and they can't see the light. You seem to have seen a light and created massive change in an industry that's not all being able to do that. What's to go?

I think it all comes down to like this, you know, the galvanizing of support to enable this to happen has been beyond my wildest dreams. Like, you know, when I was like a nineteen year old enthusiastic frontline homelessness worker working in like a shitty homelessness hostel in the UK, I never thought that I would be like here now, doing what I'm doing now, and like showing a new way, a different way, like a way that actually works that, if adopted, could actually end use homelessness in Australia. Like it's pretty mad to be here, and then I don't know what's coming now, but I've got a feeling it's big, because it feels big to even be here, but what's coming next feels big too, But I think it is. Yeah, I think it's just we're not the first people to have these ideas. We're actually fully aware that everybody knows what works. And sometimes I feel weird talking about the fact that this is innovation because it's also freaking common sense. Like I actually had to completely unlearn really everything I learned at university to kind of come and do this cocoon set the cocoon up.

I think it all comes down to like this, you know, the galvanizing of support to enable this to happen has been beyond my wildest dreams. Like, you know, when I was like a nineteen year old enthusiastic frontline homelessness worker working in like a shitty homelessness hostel in the UK, I never thought that I would be like here now, doing what I'm doing now, and like showing a new way, a different way, like a way that actually works that, if adopted, could actually end use homelessness in Australia. Like it's pretty mad to be here, and then I don't know what's coming now, but I've got a feeling it's big, because it feels big to even be here, but what's coming next feels big too, But I think it is. Yeah, I think it's just we're not the first people to have these ideas. We're actually fully aware that everybody knows what works. And sometimes I feel weird talking about the fact that this is innovation because it's also freaking common sense. Like I actually had to completely unlearn really everything I learned at university to kind of come and do this cocoon set the cocoon up.

Most of what I think we do it.

Most of what I think we do it.

Bridget comes more from a space of understanding what it is to be a mother and actually just just a decent human being. Like talking about like professional boundaries and stuff like that. Of course that's important, But like I was trained don't hug people like I was trained in residential care. This has changed now, But in residential care, when I was like supporting like young people, children who had experienced the most severe trauma, I was taught how to restrain them and hug them at the same time, a restraint hug. Like luckily that doesn't happen anymore. But to think that these things will learn and now I have to unlearn them, and like just come from a place of total compassion. Like if a young person looks like they need a hug, we talk about highly consensual hugging at the cocoon, like hey, like oh wow, like would you like a hug? Like never enforcing a hug on anyone, but like sometimes we oh, my god, like we need a hug so bad. And like I just remember this incredible moment with a young person once where I came in and I probably hadn't adjusted my energy quite right when I came in, so I think I come kind of flying into the door and looking kind of stressed, and one of the residents saw me and went, Carlo.

Bridget comes more from a space of understanding what it is to be a mother and actually just just a decent human being. Like talking about like professional boundaries and stuff like that. Of course that's important, But like I was trained don't hug people like I was trained in residential care. This has changed now, But in residential care, when I was like supporting like young people, children who had experienced the most severe trauma, I was taught how to restrain them and hug them at the same time, a restraint hug. Like luckily that doesn't happen anymore. But to think that these things will learn and now I have to unlearn them, and like just come from a place of total compassion. Like if a young person looks like they need a hug, we talk about highly consensual hugging at the cocoon, like hey, like oh wow, like would you like a hug? Like never enforcing a hug on anyone, but like sometimes we oh, my god, like we need a hug so bad. And like I just remember this incredible moment with a young person once where I came in and I probably hadn't adjusted my energy quite right when I came in, so I think I come kind of flying into the door and looking kind of stressed, and one of the residents saw me and went, Carlo.

Are you okay? Do you need a hug?

Are you okay? Do you need a hug?

And I was like wow, because like, not only now does she give a shit about herself, but now she can actually give a shit about someone else.

And I was like wow, because like, not only now does she give a shit about herself, but now she can actually give a shit about someone else.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So yeah, So.

So yeah, So.

Anyway, I think I'm just saying that we're not doing anything new. There's there's no real innovation in some ways in what we're doing, but it isn't currently being done elsewhere, and it's not from other organizations that other people not wanting to do it.

Anyway, I think I'm just saying that we're not doing anything new. There's there's no real innovation in some ways in what we're doing, but it isn't currently being done elsewhere, and it's not from other organizations that other people not wanting to do it.

It's purely about funding restrictions.

It's purely about funding restrictions.

So because we're completely philanthropically funded, which not getting any government funding obviously brings incredible challenges because we've got to get so many people behind us and consistently believing in what we do to fund us to do the work. But the joys of it is we don't get caught up in being told what to do. So like typically government tells these experts experts in homelessness, do this, do that, you know, and then it's like, well that doesn't work. Doesn't really matter because because it's it looks like it's like it's giving us the numbers that look good on a spreadsheet. Like it doesn't really matter that it's not actually having the impact. So being in finance rapidly funded, you actually put the power into the hands of the experts, which is what which is what we wish, what I believe we are at bridget.

So because we're completely philanthropically funded, which not getting any government funding obviously brings incredible challenges because we've got to get so many people behind us and consistently believing in what we do to fund us to do the work. But the joys of it is we don't get caught up in being told what to do. So like typically government tells these experts experts in homelessness, do this, do that, you know, and then it's like, well that doesn't work. Doesn't really matter because because it's it looks like it's like it's giving us the numbers that look good on a spreadsheet. Like it doesn't really matter that it's not actually having the impact. So being in finance rapidly funded, you actually put the power into the hands of the experts, which is what which is what we wish, what I believe we are at bridget.

You highlight a really good point. I just finished reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. Have you read that? Nah, It's pretty fascinating. It talks It speaks to the idea of the knowledge and stuff we know before we know, like without our thinking mind, so that you know like that instinct. Basically, how do we how do we know things before we actually know and think? And and it talks about biases and all of the biases that we're not even aware. They're so deeply conditioned in us that we're not even aware that we do them. Now I've gone on a tangent on that I can't even remember the point I was going to make about that. Oh well, but we're.

You highlight a really good point. I just finished reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. Have you read that? Nah, It's pretty fascinating. It talks It speaks to the idea of the knowledge and stuff we know before we know, like without our thinking mind, so that you know like that instinct. Basically, how do we how do we know things before we actually know and think? And and it talks about biases and all of the biases that we're not even aware. They're so deeply conditioned in us that we're not even aware that we do them. Now I've gone on a tangent on that I can't even remember the point I was going to make about that. Oh well, but we're.

All but biases. Is fascinating. We are all full of biases all the time. And I have to check myself too. It's like when a young person's had this history and the things that they've done look like this, it's really easy to think that young person's going to keep doing that, or like or that young person's a high risk young person, or you know, or maybe that young person's never gonna find work, or like maybe that's just not something that that young person can achieve, like you know, and then you really have to check yourself when you think that kind of.

All but biases. Is fascinating. We are all full of biases all the time. And I have to check myself too. It's like when a young person's had this history and the things that they've done look like this, it's really easy to think that young person's going to keep doing that, or like or that young person's a high risk young person, or you know, or maybe that young person's never gonna find work, or like maybe that's just not something that that young person can achieve, like you know, and then you really have to check yourself when you think that kind of.

Stuff, because it's actually like, you know, bollocks.

Stuff, because it's actually like, you know, bollocks.

Like you have to like put that out of your mind and switch gears into another part of your mind that says anything is possible. And see the incredible strength of these young people, Like they've dealt with things that we can't even imagine and they're actually like still alive and deeply beautiful people and you know, are achieving things.

Like you have to like put that out of your mind and switch gears into another part of your mind that says anything is possible. And see the incredible strength of these young people, Like they've dealt with things that we can't even imagine and they're actually like still alive and deeply beautiful people and you know, are achieving things.

But you know something, it was important to.

But you know something, it was important to.

Me a few years ago, as I thought when I was doing frontline homelessness work like that I'm coming in every day and I'm asking the people I'm supporting to do things that are so deeply out of their comfort zone, and that could be things as simple as like going to centerlink feels like a massive mountain to client, What am I doing? Like like am i am I prepared to push myself to like and so like I did a trifle on I ran a half marathon. Yeah, Like I went to adult swimming lessons so that I could do my dream, you know.

Me a few years ago, as I thought when I was doing frontline homelessness work like that I'm coming in every day and I'm asking the people I'm supporting to do things that are so deeply out of their comfort zone, and that could be things as simple as like going to centerlink feels like a massive mountain to client, What am I doing? Like like am i am I prepared to push myself to like and so like I did a trifle on I ran a half marathon. Yeah, Like I went to adult swimming lessons so that I could do my dream, you know.

And I think that's just a really important thing for all of us.

And I think that's just a really important thing for all of us.

It's like, you know, we shouldn't judge people that, and we should believe in people's ability to do amazing things.

It's like, you know, we shouldn't judge people that, and we should believe in people's ability to do amazing things.

And we should also believe in our own.

And we should also believe in our own.

Ability to do amazing things and make sure we're pushing ourselves to.

Ability to do amazing things and make sure we're pushing ourselves to.

Yeah, how do you how do you guys get your funding?

Yeah, how do you how do you guys get your funding?

Leveraging the connections of our incredible board, So going back to the amazing Jane Chuson is a huge one.

Leveraging the connections of our incredible board, So going back to the amazing Jane Chuson is a huge one.

We do apply for grants.

We do apply for grants.

Although that is a very sole destroying process of which you know, we don't get much luck in that area. So most of it is through connections with amazing people and then and then connecting with their connections and building really high trust relationships with the people that fund us. And I think like something that's been super important to me, Like something I'm always thinking about is hierarchy, because I feel like that, you.

Although that is a very sole destroying process of which you know, we don't get much luck in that area. So most of it is through connections with amazing people and then and then connecting with their connections and building really high trust relationships with the people that fund us. And I think like something that's been super important to me, Like something I'm always thinking about is hierarchy, because I feel like that, you.

Know, in the work that we do, there's.

Know, in the work that we do, there's.

An innate hierarchy within the team and with between us and the young people. So it's like I'm always trying to dismantle that hierarchy as much as possible. So like I think you, I mean, you didn't know when you met me that I run bridge it and that's really common. Like someone thought I was cleaner the other day because I was down at the cocoon and I was like on my knees like kind of.

An innate hierarchy within the team and with between us and the young people. So it's like I'm always trying to dismantle that hierarchy as much as possible. So like I think you, I mean, you didn't know when you met me that I run bridge it and that's really common. Like someone thought I was cleaner the other day because I was down at the cocoon and I was like on my knees like kind of.

Cleaning the office.

Cleaning the office.

So it's like I always like that's really kind of important to me that there's no hierarchy there. And then that's also important to me with our funders is that I want partnerships, Like I don't want it to be like they will fund us, but it's conditional on this that the other thing, and that we have to do it their way. So like, for example, one of our funders told me once that they wanted me to only employ Christians. So I'm like like no, like like I'm not like you, like in the nicest way possible. And I understand where it's coming from. You want me to recruit good people, so do I. I want to recruit good people as well, but like what religion they follow, it's got nothing to do with how well they can do the job. So I'm not just going to be recruiting Christians and you can't make me and like you know so, and being prepared to walk away from money. So I've walked away from significant cash over the last three years because the strings attached. We're not right, Like I won't take money from sexist pigs basically, so like that kind of thing, like we're a feminist organization. And one particular person questioned my ability to run bridget and be a money and I'm like, thanks, no, thanks, it's really it's really hard. But in that like I think sometimes it's powerful to say no, and then it's powerful to truly partner. So you're only only accepting money from people that I trust, that trust me, that that understand that they can be part of the solution if we work together, and we can't do it without them and they can't do it without us.

So it's like I always like that's really kind of important to me that there's no hierarchy there. And then that's also important to me with our funders is that I want partnerships, Like I don't want it to be like they will fund us, but it's conditional on this that the other thing, and that we have to do it their way. So like, for example, one of our funders told me once that they wanted me to only employ Christians. So I'm like like no, like like I'm not like you, like in the nicest way possible. And I understand where it's coming from. You want me to recruit good people, so do I. I want to recruit good people as well, but like what religion they follow, it's got nothing to do with how well they can do the job. So I'm not just going to be recruiting Christians and you can't make me and like you know so, and being prepared to walk away from money. So I've walked away from significant cash over the last three years because the strings attached. We're not right, Like I won't take money from sexist pigs basically, so like that kind of thing, like we're a feminist organization. And one particular person questioned my ability to run bridget and be a money and I'm like, thanks, no, thanks, it's really it's really hard. But in that like I think sometimes it's powerful to say no, and then it's powerful to truly partner. So you're only only accepting money from people that I trust, that trust me, that that understand that they can be part of the solution if we work together, and we can't do it without them and they can't do it without us.

You're nailing some amazing, amazing points and philosophies that really I really relate to, and especially after this recent trip, like for me getting away, By the time I got away, all I wanted out at I had no idea what the what the agenda was, I had no idea what the people say, what are you doing? It's like it's a facilitated retreat. But like, I don't do the details. So I'm like, I've said yes to it, and I know that I know Gim really well, so I know we're going to do. But how he described what we're doing and the details are like, I don't know what the facilitations is A be like it's like it's a leadership here, it's a bit in a PC, it's a bit. We're doing some stuff I don't know, and we're gonna be on a mountain whereabouts.

You're nailing some amazing, amazing points and philosophies that really I really relate to, and especially after this recent trip, like for me getting away, By the time I got away, all I wanted out at I had no idea what the what the agenda was, I had no idea what the people say, what are you doing? It's like it's a facilitated retreat. But like, I don't do the details. So I'm like, I've said yes to it, and I know that I know Gim really well, so I know we're going to do. But how he described what we're doing and the details are like, I don't know what the facilitations is A be like it's like it's a leadership here, it's a bit in a PC, it's a bit. We're doing some stuff I don't know, and we're gonna be on a mountain whereabouts.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Ask me when we get back, I'll tell you. But we worked on a lot of values. And so the day of leaving, or up until that point, all I knew for me I wanted was to get away from the influence of and I have. I didn't have the words for it or the clarity around it, but right now I would say I wanted to get away from the heavy influence to the one part of my identity, which was Tiff the boxer in the Jim that had blocked all the other parts of me and quite significantly, And it was the protect it was the fighter part of me. It was the protector, not just my career, but I mean metaphorically. It was Tiff that was fighting. It was Tiff that had gone through some hard stuff, and that was viewing the world through a lens and I wanted to get away from that and just remember who I was and bring some of those pieces back. And it happened so profoundly while I was over there. So we did work on purpose and values and all those things that you alluded to something at the start, and you said it sounds a bit wanky, And I get that, because I would say those terms often sound wanky, but wow, do they shift you as a person when you actually in touch with what matters to me? And so my very long winded question to you is, how do you manage to look after you in the middle of everything you're doing. You're being a mum, you're running this business, You're making decisions your CEO, you're working with government, all of that stuff. How do you, I don't know, have separation, have time away, make sure you're still in alignment, make sure you don't lose the essence of what's actually making this work, which is the person that you are beneath all of that.

Ask me when we get back, I'll tell you. But we worked on a lot of values. And so the day of leaving, or up until that point, all I knew for me I wanted was to get away from the influence of and I have. I didn't have the words for it or the clarity around it, but right now I would say I wanted to get away from the heavy influence to the one part of my identity, which was Tiff the boxer in the Jim that had blocked all the other parts of me and quite significantly, And it was the protect it was the fighter part of me. It was the protector, not just my career, but I mean metaphorically. It was Tiff that was fighting. It was Tiff that had gone through some hard stuff, and that was viewing the world through a lens and I wanted to get away from that and just remember who I was and bring some of those pieces back. And it happened so profoundly while I was over there. So we did work on purpose and values and all those things that you alluded to something at the start, and you said it sounds a bit wanky, And I get that, because I would say those terms often sound wanky, but wow, do they shift you as a person when you actually in touch with what matters to me? And so my very long winded question to you is, how do you manage to look after you in the middle of everything you're doing. You're being a mum, you're running this business, You're making decisions your CEO, you're working with government, all of that stuff. How do you, I don't know, have separation, have time away, make sure you're still in alignment, make sure you don't lose the essence of what's actually making this work, which is the person that you are beneath all of that.

I really want to talk to you about that, but I want to first note, do you know what your values are?

I really want to talk to you about that, but I want to first note, do you know what your values are?

What are your values?

What are your values?

I'd say one of the biggest ones that I've not shut up about since was integrity. And I realized how much integrity and generosity, And that was funny because there were things that it was causing me conflict with, especially so generosity. I was having this big internal conflict I hadn't recognized, which was like, I want to be generous, and I've always felt that there's nothing like obviously I give a lot, right, and I'm doing all this stuff that I'm trying to give back and shine a light on other people and help people. Everything I do is about helping, coaching and training and getting the underdogs and setting them free, like you know, all of that stuff. But there was this part of me that was still captivated by the idea of not being supported and abandonment stuff and some deep stuff that some stories attached to experience as it happened that have caused me to have to be the fighter. So it was like, I want to be generous and and I'm internally chastising myself for not giving enough, not representing enough. I could do more with this potential. However, there was this part of me going, but you don't have enough yet because you're not safe. You're not safe in this world and nobody's got your back, and so you have to you have to fixure your stuff first. So there was a level of what I feel now was just selfishness. Not in a bad way, I understand it, but selfish decisions, self protective views. Does that make sense?

I'd say one of the biggest ones that I've not shut up about since was integrity. And I realized how much integrity and generosity, And that was funny because there were things that it was causing me conflict with, especially so generosity. I was having this big internal conflict I hadn't recognized, which was like, I want to be generous, and I've always felt that there's nothing like obviously I give a lot, right, and I'm doing all this stuff that I'm trying to give back and shine a light on other people and help people. Everything I do is about helping, coaching and training and getting the underdogs and setting them free, like you know, all of that stuff. But there was this part of me that was still captivated by the idea of not being supported and abandonment stuff and some deep stuff that some stories attached to experience as it happened that have caused me to have to be the fighter. So it was like, I want to be generous and and I'm internally chastising myself for not giving enough, not representing enough. I could do more with this potential. However, there was this part of me going, but you don't have enough yet because you're not safe. You're not safe in this world and nobody's got your back, and so you have to you have to fixure your stuff first. So there was a level of what I feel now was just selfishness. Not in a bad way, I understand it, but selfish decisions, self protective views. Does that make sense?

So you're coming back, So you've been all generous, generous, and now you're like, I need to be generous to me, Like first yes.

So you're coming back, So you've been all generous, generous, and now you're like, I need to be generous to me, Like first yes.

And no, yes and no, no, actually the opposite. They want to be generous and I am being generous, but the reflection that I already have enough, like I'm not like things won't get the idea that things won't get taken away, like I can keep me safe.

And no, yes and no, no, actually the opposite. They want to be generous and I am being generous, but the reflection that I already have enough, like I'm not like things won't get the idea that things won't get taken away, like I can keep me safe.

Okay, like I have Like you're not overgiving.

Okay, like I have Like you're not overgiving.

No, I want to give more.

No, I want to give more.

You want to give more.

You want to give more.

I care give more, but I want to. But it was the that whole when I when I have enough, when I'm okay, but I've never felt okay yes, which is just an internal thing like of course I'm okay, of course I'm fine. But there's there was this story of something band's going to happen again. Someone's going to come and take that away again. So just get yourself sorted. Like these, there's walls up. I was building these walls around me to protect me and not letting anyone in because I couldn't trust me and my ability to let good people in because not so good people have been you know the wolf in sheep's clothing before. So I was there. Was not that I was aware of it completely, but I could really see it when I unpacked those those You know, why why do I feel generous and then feel like I'm not generous? Why do I value that but feel like I have an inability to live up to it to the degree that I want to?

I care give more, but I want to. But it was the that whole when I when I have enough, when I'm okay, but I've never felt okay yes, which is just an internal thing like of course I'm okay, of course I'm fine. But there's there was this story of something band's going to happen again. Someone's going to come and take that away again. So just get yourself sorted. Like these, there's walls up. I was building these walls around me to protect me and not letting anyone in because I couldn't trust me and my ability to let good people in because not so good people have been you know the wolf in sheep's clothing before. So I was there. Was not that I was aware of it completely, but I could really see it when I unpacked those those You know, why why do I feel generous and then feel like I'm not generous? Why do I value that but feel like I have an inability to live up to it to the degree that I want to?

So what are you going to do now? Like now you know, now you have more understanding about this, what are you going to do?

So what are you going to do now? Like now you know, now you have more understanding about this, what are you going to do?

So it's it's trust in self and understanding that I'm not bound by the decisions I made in the past, like that you can have everything that happens I learned from So I so things happen and I learned from it, and I can trust myself to make good decisions. So I can give now and I will be okay, Yes, like I have what I need in order to give, and so it's freed up a lot of time, it's freed up a lot of busyness, busyness in inverted commas of this, I was just busy all the time, Carla. Since I got back, I've prioritized people, friends and relationships first and the doing in my life second. And that was the polar opposite to what I had before. And so I went from someone who before I went away a would have said I just don't have time yet, like, I'm just really busy all the time. I work seven days a week. I've never got any time. And I also I can't, like I said to Jim at the start of the year, I can't go on that holiday because I bought a motorbike start a year and that was my budget and I don't have the budget. I don't have the resources because I can't afford it. And then I had an opportunity for a sponsored spot, but I had to fund the rest, but I said yes. When I got that opportunity, I was like, you can't say no. You can't have the excuse now, And now I'm the sort of came back and within two weeks I was like, I have so much time, Like who even has this amount of time to connect with their friends and the people that matter to them. So I'm telling people when they matter. I'm going out of my way to move things so I can connect with them instead of holding my shitty little story to keep me safe and protected.

So it's it's trust in self and understanding that I'm not bound by the decisions I made in the past, like that you can have everything that happens I learned from So I so things happen and I learned from it, and I can trust myself to make good decisions. So I can give now and I will be okay, Yes, like I have what I need in order to give, and so it's freed up a lot of time, it's freed up a lot of busyness, busyness in inverted commas of this, I was just busy all the time, Carla. Since I got back, I've prioritized people, friends and relationships first and the doing in my life second. And that was the polar opposite to what I had before. And so I went from someone who before I went away a would have said I just don't have time yet, like, I'm just really busy all the time. I work seven days a week. I've never got any time. And I also I can't, like I said to Jim at the start of the year, I can't go on that holiday because I bought a motorbike start a year and that was my budget and I don't have the budget. I don't have the resources because I can't afford it. And then I had an opportunity for a sponsored spot, but I had to fund the rest, but I said yes. When I got that opportunity, I was like, you can't say no. You can't have the excuse now, And now I'm the sort of came back and within two weeks I was like, I have so much time, Like who even has this amount of time to connect with their friends and the people that matter to them. So I'm telling people when they matter. I'm going out of my way to move things so I can connect with them instead of holding my shitty little story to keep me safe and protected.

Oh there's just so much amazing stuff in there. I feel like it's like almost like we can get addicted to busyness, like oh my god, I'm so busy, I'm so exhausted, I'm so you know, like I've got no time, all of those words, and it's like it's actually super unhelpful. And like I've outlawed the word busy at bridget now because I actually don't want to hear it anymore. Like I also know I need to be compassionate, Like compassion is really important. But I think just coming from a place of the queen of busyness, you know, And now I've made that massive shift, which we can we'll talk about a bit more in a minute, but like making that massive shift from busy to productive.