Why are so many of us are unknowingly blocking ourselves from feeling loved whilst desperately trying to chase it?

Harry Reis is a renowned social psychologist and Professor at the University of Rochester who has spent decades researching love, intimacy, vulnerability, and what actually makes humans feel connected. He recently co-authored the book 'How to Feel More Loved' with Sonja Lyubomirsky, who is one of the world’s leading happiness researchers. Ripper collab right there, huh!

We spoke about online dating checklists, social media validation, the weird performance of modern identity, AI relationships, conflict, growth, and the fear most of us carry that if people really knew us… they’d leave. Harry also dropped one idea worth pondering... that love isn’t just romance. It’s belonging... it's being seen, understood, valued, and safe enough to be fully human around other people.

There’s also a lot in this one about the tension between comfort and growth too. Why relationships that never challenge us don’t actually deepen us. Why rupture and repair matters. Why conflict isn’t failure. And why the things that shape us most are usually the hard conversations, awkward truths, and moments where we stop hiding behind the polished version of ourselves. 

Also… we somehow ended up talking about robot partners, Star Trek, and whether AI could ever replace human love. So, there’s that...

SPONSORED BY TESTART FAMILY LAWYERS

Website: testartfamilylawyers.com.au

HARRY REIS

Website: howtofeelloved.com/

TIFFANEE COOK

Linktree:  linktr.ee/rollwiththepunches

Website: tiffcook.com