For generations, society has shaped attraction differently for men and women. Men are often told to value beauty and youth, while women are encouraged to seek stability, protection and security. Some argue this is rooted in biology, that women naturally prioritise safety because historically pregnancy made them more vulnerable and dependent on support. Others believe these ideas are outdated social constructs that continue to reinforce unhealthy power dynamics in modern relationships.
But in today’s world, where women are increasingly financially independent and gender roles are evolving, are people still dating according to survival instincts? What does “dating down” even mean anymore? Is it about money, ambition, education, emotional intelligence or social status? And why do some relationships attract criticism when one partner appears to have “settled”? To help us unpack this conversation we speak to Marriage and Relationship Coach, Luzuko Nobongoza and Life coach,NLP practitioner and relationship coach, Coach Tsholo.