I won't let my body out be outwait everything that I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.

I won't let my body out be outwait everything that I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.

I'm learning love who I am, I get, I'm strong, fail free, I know everybody of me. It's beautiful.

I'm learning love who I am, I get, I'm strong, fail free, I know everybody of me. It's beautiful.

And that will always out way if you feel it, but yours.

And that will always out way if you feel it, but yours.

And there she'll some love to the food.

And there she'll some love to the food.

There, say good day and did you and die out way, Happy Saturday, outweigh It's leanne here and what you're about to hear are real stories from real women who have faced some of their deepest struggles with food and their bodies and face their demons and come out on the other side. And so these are the raw, unfiltered journeys of women just like you, who once felt trapped in their own mental prisons, caught in that endless cycle of food obsession, you know, feeling like a failure in all of that shame. And I'm sharing these with you because I want you to know that no matter how stuck or out of control you feel right now, there is a way out. So if you're feeling broken or crazy, or like you're the only one who struggles with this, you are not. You are not alone, and you are definitely not beyond hope or healing. These stories are proof that true transformation is possible, and I hope they inspire you to see what's possible for yourself.

There, say good day and did you and die out way, Happy Saturday, outweigh It's leanne here and what you're about to hear are real stories from real women who have faced some of their deepest struggles with food and their bodies and face their demons and come out on the other side. And so these are the raw, unfiltered journeys of women just like you, who once felt trapped in their own mental prisons, caught in that endless cycle of food obsession, you know, feeling like a failure in all of that shame. And I'm sharing these with you because I want you to know that no matter how stuck or out of control you feel right now, there is a way out. So if you're feeling broken or crazy, or like you're the only one who struggles with this, you are not. You are not alone, and you are definitely not beyond hope or healing. These stories are proof that true transformation is possible, and I hope they inspire you to see what's possible for yourself.

So let's dive on in.

So let's dive on in.

Well, Hello, Hello, and welcome back to the Stressless Eating Podcast. Super excited for today's episode because it's kind of another full circle journey. We have Suzanne back on the podcast. She shared her her testimony and case study man probably a year or so ago. You know, she graduated from Stressless Eating probably like over two years ago, and now she's you know, I'm grateful that she's an ambassador for the program. She's helping me behind the scenes. She's a support system for the gals that are going through the program currently, and it's just a big full circle journey. But I wanted to just kind of bring her back on the podcast share you know, some things behind the scenes of what's causing her to show up in her life differently now even two years later. You know, how it's affecting not food in her body necessarily, but we're going to talk about non related because everybody thinks like, oh, it's a food problem, Oh it's a body problem. It's like, no, there's all these other areas of our lives where we are not showing up, we're shrinking ourselves, we're diminishing our worth. And so yes, it's a food and body and health conversation and that's always going.

Well, Hello, Hello, and welcome back to the Stressless Eating Podcast. Super excited for today's episode because it's kind of another full circle journey. We have Suzanne back on the podcast. She shared her her testimony and case study man probably a year or so ago. You know, she graduated from Stressless Eating probably like over two years ago, and now she's you know, I'm grateful that she's an ambassador for the program. She's helping me behind the scenes. She's a support system for the gals that are going through the program currently, and it's just a big full circle journey. But I wanted to just kind of bring her back on the podcast share you know, some things behind the scenes of what's causing her to show up in her life differently now even two years later. You know, how it's affecting not food in her body necessarily, but we're going to talk about non related because everybody thinks like, oh, it's a food problem, Oh it's a body problem. It's like, no, there's all these other areas of our lives where we are not showing up, we're shrinking ourselves, we're diminishing our worth. And so yes, it's a food and body and health conversation and that's always going.

To be part of our lives as women.

To be part of our lives as women.

We're learning how to take care of ourselves, right, But we're going to talk about some of the auxiliary stuff like relationships, like owning your worth, like stepping into work stuff.

We're learning how to take care of ourselves, right, But we're going to talk about some of the auxiliary stuff like relationships, like owning your worth, like stepping into work stuff.

So we're gonna dive into all of that.

So we're gonna dive into all of that.

So, first off, hello Susanna, and welcome back to the podcast.

So, first off, hello Susanna, and welcome back to the podcast.

AI Leanne, thank you so much for the invitation to join you today.

AI Leanne, thank you so much for the invitation to join you today.

Absolutely well, I know that you know, everybody in our in the program gets so much better value out of your shares, and I wanted to just kind of let other people share in the in the wealth of your of your knowledge and wisdom and just life experiences that you've that have been really you know, shaping this path for you. And I'll link I'll link your original episode in the show notes for anybody who hasn't met Susanne yet. She shared her whole journey from you know, just being in the food and body and shame.

Absolutely well, I know that you know, everybody in our in the program gets so much better value out of your shares, and I wanted to just kind of let other people share in the in the wealth of your of your knowledge and wisdom and just life experiences that you've that have been really you know, shaping this path for you. And I'll link I'll link your original episode in the show notes for anybody who hasn't met Susanne yet. She shared her whole journey from you know, just being in the food and body and shame.

Prison and so we're going to kind of pick up a little bit where we left off on that episode.

Prison and so we're going to kind of pick up a little bit where we left off on that episode.

You know, one of the things that we talked about for you and when you shared your story is that it wasn't just about food and body. The whole image that you had of yourself was keeping you from stepping into lots of areas of your life, but one of them was love and inviting love into your life. And I know when we very first met, the first time we talked, you know, you were very clear that like, hey, I'm not putting out what I want to come back, but you also were clear like I have to love myself first before I can go receive that from somebody else. So kind of picking up from that, can you just share a little bit about what that process was like for you? And then obviously now you're in a relationship with the love of your life, but kind of before we ever met, where were you in your dating and relationship life and what were some of the beliefs that you had that were keeping you from putting yourself out there?

You know, one of the things that we talked about for you and when you shared your story is that it wasn't just about food and body. The whole image that you had of yourself was keeping you from stepping into lots of areas of your life, but one of them was love and inviting love into your life. And I know when we very first met, the first time we talked, you know, you were very clear that like, hey, I'm not putting out what I want to come back, but you also were clear like I have to love myself first before I can go receive that from somebody else. So kind of picking up from that, can you just share a little bit about what that process was like for you? And then obviously now you're in a relationship with the love of your life, but kind of before we ever met, where were you in your dating and relationship life and what were some of the beliefs that you had that were keeping you from putting yourself out there?

You know, rewinding a couple of years, I was definitely in a place that not only was I rejecting myself, I was rejecting others around me, and I wasn't believing if somebody was interested in me, and I really had kind of taken myself out of the dating pool, which was frustrating because one of the key ways that I was defining myself, like if I met you during that time period and somebody said, tell me five words about yourself, single, would have been the very first thing I would have said to define myself. And I was really mentally stuck on the fact that I had not found my partner, and I personally was interpreting that as rejection from society, rejection by men, and there by rejecting all of the qualities about me. They're great, and I could say, no, I'm confident, and I was perceived as being this very confident, self assured person. But sometimes that was true, and sometimes it was you know, fake it till you make it feelings, and I felt fraudulent at times when people would comment to me, you're so self assured, and you prove that perfection isn't necessary to be happy. I think all of that is true, but at the time, how I was defining myself was so hung up on being single that I couldn't get past how I was rejecting myself over and over again.

You know, rewinding a couple of years, I was definitely in a place that not only was I rejecting myself, I was rejecting others around me, and I wasn't believing if somebody was interested in me, and I really had kind of taken myself out of the dating pool, which was frustrating because one of the key ways that I was defining myself, like if I met you during that time period and somebody said, tell me five words about yourself, single, would have been the very first thing I would have said to define myself. And I was really mentally stuck on the fact that I had not found my partner, and I personally was interpreting that as rejection from society, rejection by men, and there by rejecting all of the qualities about me. They're great, and I could say, no, I'm confident, and I was perceived as being this very confident, self assured person. But sometimes that was true, and sometimes it was you know, fake it till you make it feelings, and I felt fraudulent at times when people would comment to me, you're so self assured, and you prove that perfection isn't necessary to be happy. I think all of that is true, but at the time, how I was defining myself was so hung up on being single that I couldn't get past how I was rejecting myself over and over again.

By that definition, what you're really hitting on is like, ladies, we don't even realize that our identity and our beliefs shape our behaviors, right, And so alongside that identity of being single were a lot of beliefs, and you know, Suzanne had her own version of them. And for a lot of my gals that identify as single, a lot of the beliefs that come up when I'm talking to them are like, who's going to want me? Or what if I'm just destined to stay this way forever? Or what if my person's not out there? Or what if I'm just not what if love isn't in the cards for me? And then whatever food or body shame we have alongside it, and that self rejection just becomes part of it. And our behaviors are a reflection of our beliefs. So because you had that belief, you weren't taking actions to change your dating life, let alone your self image, you know before we met, or you were trying to but didn't have the tools, and we just get stuck.

By that definition, what you're really hitting on is like, ladies, we don't even realize that our identity and our beliefs shape our behaviors, right, And so alongside that identity of being single were a lot of beliefs, and you know, Suzanne had her own version of them. And for a lot of my gals that identify as single, a lot of the beliefs that come up when I'm talking to them are like, who's going to want me? Or what if I'm just destined to stay this way forever? Or what if my person's not out there? Or what if I'm just not what if love isn't in the cards for me? And then whatever food or body shame we have alongside it, and that self rejection just becomes part of it. And our behaviors are a reflection of our beliefs. So because you had that belief, you weren't taking actions to change your dating life, let alone your self image, you know before we met, or you were trying to but didn't have the tools, and we just get stuck.

We get so Simla, and I was stuck, And for me, I would say, really, all of it was rooted. I might say I'm single and what does that mean? And rejected and what does that mean? But the reality is digging underneath all of that was a mantra that was going in my head of I'm not worthy. When I dug down underneath what does all of this mean for me? That's what it meant, and that was where I needed to start.

We get so Simla, and I was stuck, And for me, I would say, really, all of it was rooted. I might say I'm single and what does that mean? And rejected and what does that mean? But the reality is digging underneath all of that was a mantra that was going in my head of I'm not worthy. When I dug down underneath what does all of this mean for me? That's what it meant, and that was where I needed to start.

Yeah, and that's the thing where people get hung up because a lot of people can really resonate with what you're saying. Is they realize like this deep seated unworthiness. But telling yourself looking in the mirror and saying you are worthy and you deserve everything that you want doesn't work because if your self image deep done inside is saying no, you're not worthy. And maybe you're not using those words specifically, ladies, if you're hearing this, maybe you're not using the words I'm not worthy. Maybe you're using the words like I'm not enough, or you'll you're not skinny enough, or successful enough, or pretty enough, or any of those things, even though like who's gonna want me? Thoughts, even calling yourself fat right, those are symptoms of a deep down unworthiness. And that's why positive thinking and fake it till you make it, and motivational raw rab doesn't work because if you have that wiring in your brain like Suzanne was sharing, it becomes an identity. And one of the things I want to touch on too that you said that was so powerful is you know a lot of women think like, oh my gosh, I have to hit like my rock bottom in order to go shift things. No, most of the women that come through stressless seating ladies are just like Suzanne, outwardly projecting confidence, successful in.

Yeah, and that's the thing where people get hung up because a lot of people can really resonate with what you're saying. Is they realize like this deep seated unworthiness. But telling yourself looking in the mirror and saying you are worthy and you deserve everything that you want doesn't work because if your self image deep done inside is saying no, you're not worthy. And maybe you're not using those words specifically, ladies, if you're hearing this, maybe you're not using the words I'm not worthy. Maybe you're using the words like I'm not enough, or you'll you're not skinny enough, or successful enough, or pretty enough, or any of those things, even though like who's gonna want me? Thoughts, even calling yourself fat right, those are symptoms of a deep down unworthiness. And that's why positive thinking and fake it till you make it, and motivational raw rab doesn't work because if you have that wiring in your brain like Suzanne was sharing, it becomes an identity. And one of the things I want to touch on too that you said that was so powerful is you know a lot of women think like, oh my gosh, I have to hit like my rock bottom in order to go shift things. No, most of the women that come through stressless seating ladies are just like Suzanne, outwardly projecting confidence, successful in.

Every area of their lives. This is the elephant in the room.

Every area of their lives. This is the elephant in the room.

So don't think for a minute that you have to be at some deep, dark rock bottom or in some black hole to get yourself out of it.

So don't think for a minute that you have to be at some deep, dark rock bottom or in some black hole to get yourself out of it.

It's so true. And I remember the pivotal moment for me was one day when I looked in the mirror and I didn't say, oh, you look pretty, or you look good or bad in this outfit, you look this or that. I looked at myself and said, you look lovable. I remember, like that was just such. It brings tears to my eyes because it was such a big moment for me in then defining my own worth. Yeah, I am lovable and it had nothing to do with my size, It had nothing to do with accomplishments, It had nothing to do with relationship status or any of the other things that I was using to define my own worth. It was just like, no, I breathe, I'm a human being. For me, I'm a child of God and all of that means I am lovable. And that lovable statement I redefined my own worth.

It's so true. And I remember the pivotal moment for me was one day when I looked in the mirror and I didn't say, oh, you look pretty, or you look good or bad in this outfit, you look this or that. I looked at myself and said, you look lovable. I remember, like that was just such. It brings tears to my eyes because it was such a big moment for me in then defining my own worth. Yeah, I am lovable and it had nothing to do with my size, It had nothing to do with accomplishments, It had nothing to do with relationship status or any of the other things that I was using to define my own worth. It was just like, no, I breathe, I'm a human being. For me, I'm a child of God and all of that means I am lovable. And that lovable statement I redefined my own worth.

Oh my gosh, I remember that happening.

Oh my gosh, I remember that happening.

I remember you sharing that with me, And like, ladies, all of you have that one pivotal moment in you that's coming right, and I want, I would love for you to speak about the age factor. For example. So a lot of us have limiting beliefs. But one of the things that comes up when it comes to food struggles and body struggles is like, leanne, I've been like this for so many long. I'm forty fifty sixty years old and I've been struggling with this since I was a kid. Can this ever change for me? But also on the love conversation, a lot of women think like, oh, if I'm you know now, it's happening earlier. I hear people in their mid twenties saying this, But you know, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, I've never found love?

I remember you sharing that with me, And like, ladies, all of you have that one pivotal moment in you that's coming right, and I want, I would love for you to speak about the age factor. For example. So a lot of us have limiting beliefs. But one of the things that comes up when it comes to food struggles and body struggles is like, leanne, I've been like this for so many long. I'm forty fifty sixty years old and I've been struggling with this since I was a kid. Can this ever change for me? But also on the love conversation, a lot of women think like, oh, if I'm you know now, it's happening earlier. I hear people in their mid twenties saying this, But you know, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, I've never found love?

Is it too late for me? Can you just kind of speak to.

Is it too late for me? Can you just kind of speak to.

Some of the thoughts that you had about that and what you now see is true about that?

Some of the thoughts that you had about that and what you now see is true about that?

I was the perpetually single gal. I, you know, had some dating relationship in my adult life and just hadn't found that air quotes the one, and I was at times depressed about it, feeling dejected. But I ultimately recognized that every step you take on the path of your life is leading you to where you're meant to be. And part of my work with Ulienne has been about like, who do I want to be in a relationship? So that helped me to really think through how do I want to show up every day for myself, for a partner, for the other people in my life, for the world. And that was the part that I knew that I had influence over. I don't have influence over what's the timing of meeting somebody and who that somebody is going to be and what are the circumstances around that. I couldn't influence all of those pieces, but I could influence who I am on a daily basis and how I show up in the world. I don't think it's a surprise that. And I was also using the journal to be grateful in advance for all of the qualities that were going to show up in my life in a partner. And I really was putting that out there to the universe, like, this is exactly what I'm looking for. Here are the qualities that I want, Here are the things. And they were also you know, what are the qualities that I wanted to develop in myself and how do I show up better? And I didn't meet my Jose until I was fifty, and I think my family had kind of decided she's just going to be single, Aunt Susie. And in a lot of ways in my life, I had resigned myself to the fact that I probably am going to be, you know, single, and I was I was coming to a different place of acceptance about that on the work that I was doing for myself. But I know that part of why I met Jose at the time that I did had to do about my openness about what I was looking for. And I can say with all honesty, it's the first relationship that I showed up exactly as who I am, not for who I thought they wanted or what they would be attracted to or be looking for. That's a no win situation when you're looking at a relationship wondering do I measure up to their expectations. I walked into this fully knowing this is who I am. I have no apologies about it. I'm not perfect. Here are my flaws, but here are my strengths. And he did the same, And that was a completely different way for me to show up in a romantic relationship than I ever had in my whole life. And it felt freeing. It felt really validating that this person liked me exactly as I am, and not only liked me, but loves me exactly as I am. And I had to come to a point of loving myself exactly as I am before I could appreciate being able to show somebody exactly who I am and give them an opportunity to love me that way.

I was the perpetually single gal. I, you know, had some dating relationship in my adult life and just hadn't found that air quotes the one, and I was at times depressed about it, feeling dejected. But I ultimately recognized that every step you take on the path of your life is leading you to where you're meant to be. And part of my work with Ulienne has been about like, who do I want to be in a relationship? So that helped me to really think through how do I want to show up every day for myself, for a partner, for the other people in my life, for the world. And that was the part that I knew that I had influence over. I don't have influence over what's the timing of meeting somebody and who that somebody is going to be and what are the circumstances around that. I couldn't influence all of those pieces, but I could influence who I am on a daily basis and how I show up in the world. I don't think it's a surprise that. And I was also using the journal to be grateful in advance for all of the qualities that were going to show up in my life in a partner. And I really was putting that out there to the universe, like, this is exactly what I'm looking for. Here are the qualities that I want, Here are the things. And they were also you know, what are the qualities that I wanted to develop in myself and how do I show up better? And I didn't meet my Jose until I was fifty, and I think my family had kind of decided she's just going to be single, Aunt Susie. And in a lot of ways in my life, I had resigned myself to the fact that I probably am going to be, you know, single, and I was I was coming to a different place of acceptance about that on the work that I was doing for myself. But I know that part of why I met Jose at the time that I did had to do about my openness about what I was looking for. And I can say with all honesty, it's the first relationship that I showed up exactly as who I am, not for who I thought they wanted or what they would be attracted to or be looking for. That's a no win situation when you're looking at a relationship wondering do I measure up to their expectations. I walked into this fully knowing this is who I am. I have no apologies about it. I'm not perfect. Here are my flaws, but here are my strengths. And he did the same, And that was a completely different way for me to show up in a romantic relationship than I ever had in my whole life. And it felt freeing. It felt really validating that this person liked me exactly as I am, and not only liked me, but loves me exactly as I am. And I had to come to a point of loving myself exactly as I am before I could appreciate being able to show somebody exactly who I am and give them an opportunity to love me that way.

It's so interesting too, because a lot of women think, like, oh, when I lose the weight, then I'll invite love in or or not even like the waiting for the weight conversation. But then also, just like you said, almost resigning to the fact of like, well, just maybe this is my life, you know. And the reality is we're not resigning to the fact that we.

It's so interesting too, because a lot of women think, like, oh, when I lose the weight, then I'll invite love in or or not even like the waiting for the weight conversation. But then also, just like you said, almost resigning to the fact of like, well, just maybe this is my life, you know. And the reality is we're not resigning to the fact that we.

Don't want love. Our hearts want love. It's like one of the strongest desires as women.

Don't want love. Our hearts want love. It's like one of the strongest desires as women.

Right What we were resigning to is the fact that we don't think it's possible or we don't think we're worthy of it. And also it becomes a conversation of like, I have to be a certain way for somebody to like me.

Right What we were resigning to is the fact that we don't think it's possible or we don't think we're worthy of it. And also it becomes a conversation of like, I have to be a certain way for somebody to like me.

And then we posture, we please, we mold ourselves, we perform, we try to perfect ourselves.

And then we posture, we please, we mold ourselves, we perform, we try to perfect ourselves.

And what happens is we grow less and less in love with ourselves, or we fall more and more out of love with who we are because we're so focused on somebody accepting us. And that's the thing nobody tells us. Wait a minute, When you accept yourself, you're going to be able to receive acceptance.

And what happens is we grow less and less in love with ourselves, or we fall more and more out of love with who we are because we're so focused on somebody accepting us. And that's the thing nobody tells us. Wait a minute, When you accept yourself, you're going to be able to receive acceptance.

When you love yourself, you're going to be able to receive love.

When you love yourself, you're going to be able to receive love.

When you feel beautiful, you're going to be able to receive somebody else seeing you through the.

When you feel beautiful, you're going to be able to receive somebody else seeing you through the.

Eyes of beauty. And again, nobody talks about that.

Eyes of beauty. And again, nobody talks about that.

You know, we see there's a billion, multi billion dollar industry telling you to just go on keno and lose weight and then you'll be happy.

You know, we see there's a billion, multi billion dollar industry telling you to just go on keno and lose weight and then you'll be happy.

And it's like, wait, what about this other stuff? You know? And one of the things that.

And it's like, wait, what about this other stuff? You know? And one of the things that.

You know, it's it's manifested beautiful things in my life that you know specific And here's the thing. I'm as we're recording this, I'm thirty eight years old, you know, and in today's society, some like I wrote a post about it, I remember a few years ago, like to some people.

You know, it's it's manifested beautiful things in my life that you know specific And here's the thing. I'm as we're recording this, I'm thirty eight years old, you know, and in today's society, some like I wrote a post about it, I remember a few years ago, like to some people.

I'm behind and I'm not on the timeline of everyone else.

I'm behind and I'm not on the timeline of everyone else.

But what I know now is like if I had married somebody when I was thirty, I would have brought all of my food stuff and body stuff and shame stuff, and I probably would be divorced by now, because not because somebody couldn't love me, but because I couldn't love me. And it's about running your own race. There's no timelines, there's no deadlines, there's no storylines.

But what I know now is like if I had married somebody when I was thirty, I would have brought all of my food stuff and body stuff and shame stuff, and I probably would be divorced by now, because not because somebody couldn't love me, but because I couldn't love me. And it's about running your own race. There's no timelines, there's no deadlines, there's no storylines.

You have to.

You have to.

Decide, are you willing and ready and able to receive love right now? Than If so, it is your duty, in my opinion, to remove all of the obstacles, which are really just beliefs that are keeping you from feeling worthy of receiving it and I had it too, Like, you know, all these beliefs that are like, maybe love isn't in the cards for you and all that, and I'm like, no, I am not going to settle and receive those lies. They are just lies in their beliefs that I do not have to believe in. And when I started believing that not only is my man out there and he's looking for me too, but when he meets me, he's going to love me just as I am. He's going to love all the parts of me that took me forever to love, and he's gonna make me a better version of myself. He's gonna make me even more me because I'm going to be more me and authentic and a line around him. And it's not a coincidence you had. You know, we parallel belief systems along the way, and both of us are now in relationships with love, with the love of our life's This is not a love a Love podcast episode, but of just saying it's not a coincidence that when your beliefs are aligned for loneliness and rejection and not being able to.

Decide, are you willing and ready and able to receive love right now? Than If so, it is your duty, in my opinion, to remove all of the obstacles, which are really just beliefs that are keeping you from feeling worthy of receiving it and I had it too, Like, you know, all these beliefs that are like, maybe love isn't in the cards for you and all that, and I'm like, no, I am not going to settle and receive those lies. They are just lies in their beliefs that I do not have to believe in. And when I started believing that not only is my man out there and he's looking for me too, but when he meets me, he's going to love me just as I am. He's going to love all the parts of me that took me forever to love, and he's gonna make me a better version of myself. He's gonna make me even more me because I'm going to be more me and authentic and a line around him. And it's not a coincidence you had. You know, we parallel belief systems along the way, and both of us are now in relationships with love, with the love of our life's This is not a love a Love podcast episode, but of just saying it's not a coincidence that when your beliefs are aligned for loneliness and rejection and not being able to.

Receive love and not feeling beautiful and.

Receive love and not feeling beautiful and.

Worthy, you are not going to find that or you'll settle for a relationship with an avoidant or somebody who's not emotionally available.

Worthy, you are not going to find that or you'll settle for a relationship with an avoidant or somebody who's not emotionally available.

That's the other thing.

That's the other thing.

Becoming emotionally available to yourself is when you can then attract emotionally available men or women, whichever the case may be.

Becoming emotionally available to yourself is when you can then attract emotionally available men or women, whichever the case may be.

And so I hear this time and time again.

And so I hear this time and time again.

Actually that is the other side of it, Like not women that are just not only like sitting on the sidelines of their life, but maybe they are playing full out in their dating world and wondering why they're getting like emotionally abusive or gaslighting men or some in some cases like narcissistic sociopathic avoidance.

Actually that is the other side of it, Like not women that are just not only like sitting on the sidelines of their life, but maybe they are playing full out in their dating world and wondering why they're getting like emotionally abusive or gaslighting men or some in some cases like narcissistic sociopathic avoidance.

You know, it's true.

You know, it's true.

And I have conversations with you know, there's a couple of people in my life that are still navigating their romantic life. And I hear when I hear things saying like oh my gosh, like in they're my age, like Leanne, I'm thirty eight years old, and like what if I want to get married and I want to have kids, And I'm.

And I have conversations with you know, there's a couple of people in my life that are still navigating their romantic life. And I hear when I hear things saying like oh my gosh, like in they're my age, like Leanne, I'm thirty eight years old, and like what if I want to get married and I want to have kids, And I'm.

Like yeah, but like you can't look at it like that.

Like yeah, but like you can't look at it like that.

You've got to just part of it is that faith, like positive expectation, positive anticipation, you know, conversation of like, hey, I just have to believe, because ladies listening to this, you're either positively anticipating your future or you're negatively anticipating your creature.

You've got to just part of it is that faith, like positive expectation, positive anticipation, you know, conversation of like, hey, I just have to believe, because ladies listening to this, you're either positively anticipating your future or you're negatively anticipating your creature.

It's really one or the other. It's not simple. And so you I.

It's really one or the other. It's not simple. And so you I.

Invite you all to like, not in a delusional optimism kind of way, you know, but in a very practical, faith based version of like, hey, I am not willing to settle for the fact that I'm going to be alone the rest of my life.

Invite you all to like, not in a delusional optimism kind of way, you know, but in a very practical, faith based version of like, hey, I am not willing to settle for the fact that I'm going to be alone the rest of my life.

I'm not going to believe that lie.

I'm not going to believe that lie.

And I am open to the possibility that my man is or woman, whichever the case may be, is out there looking for me, and I just have to be available emotionally to myself to receive that person when they show up.

And I am open to the possibility that my man is or woman, whichever the case may be, is out there looking for me, and I just have to be available emotionally to myself to receive that person when they show up.

What if that was the conversation for you, It's.

What if that was the conversation for you, It's.

The conversation that Suzanne started entertaining after what forty eight years.

The conversation that Suzanne started entertaining after what forty eight years.

Of not and so can you speak to.

Of not and so can you speak to.

That for a second about like, yeah, you had a lot of momentum the other direction, but when you have the brain and the and the beliefs and a system of thinking to actually take you in the in the other direction, it doesn't matter how long you've been a certain way, can you kind of speak to the speed so to speak for you and how quickly things shift when you when you started the brain and the nervous system and the belief.

That for a second about like, yeah, you had a lot of momentum the other direction, but when you have the brain and the and the beliefs and a system of thinking to actually take you in the in the other direction, it doesn't matter how long you've been a certain way, can you kind of speak to the speed so to speak for you and how quickly things shift when you when you started the brain and the nervous system and the belief.

You know. Before I say that, I would also say, you know, stressless eating, in my mind is all a love conversation. It's not a love conversation, but it is a love conversation about yourself in yourself and how do you define that and what does that mean? And how can you accept yourself differently with love and push yourself differently with love to redefine how you look at yourself and define yourself and the role that food plays or stress plays, because they have focused on this stressless part of this just as much as the eating part of this love and I would say the timeline. I remember in my thirties having somebody say to me it was really helpful that they said, I didn't get married until I was forty five, and if I had known at thirty five how good my life would be at forty five, I would never spend a minute worrying. And it helped me at that time to be reminded to look for what is the advantage of whatever stage of life I'm in. So as a single person, that meant like, I'm going to go travel with my friends, I'm going to embrace the freedom of being single, and I'm going to sleep in the middle of the bed and know that one of the advantages is that I look super arrested compared to my friends who were married enough kids and embrace getting a full night sleep when others are struggling because they're taking care of it. Is so I really kind of I tried to adopt that philosophy of the grass is not greener on the other side, how do I make the grass that I'm in as green as I want it to be whatever situation I'm in. That definitely helped me during some low times thinking about that definition of being single. And I would say, you know, part of the timing for me because it's similar to you. If I had been serious or married any of the man I had dated when I was younger, I certainly would have been divorced. There's no doubt about it, and not because there's anything wrong with them, but I wasn't showing up as me fully. And you know, at some point in a relationship you start to show up as yourself fully and sometimes that's when you're a little more honest with yourself that maybe this person doesn't have the qualities or characteristics you're looking for, and maybe they're not bringing out the very best in you either. So I would say that the age related to love is almost irrelevant. It is about are you loving yourself first? And are you fully accepting yourself first? And then you will be able to open that full self up to somebody else. And it's not about what your gene size is or the number on your scale, or what your hair looks like. Is it pray or is it, you know, a natural color. Are you wrinkled or smooth skinned? I mean, the ultimate connection of love is heart to heart and it's not about the outward appearance.

You know. Before I say that, I would also say, you know, stressless eating, in my mind is all a love conversation. It's not a love conversation, but it is a love conversation about yourself in yourself and how do you define that and what does that mean? And how can you accept yourself differently with love and push yourself differently with love to redefine how you look at yourself and define yourself and the role that food plays or stress plays, because they have focused on this stressless part of this just as much as the eating part of this love and I would say the timeline. I remember in my thirties having somebody say to me it was really helpful that they said, I didn't get married until I was forty five, and if I had known at thirty five how good my life would be at forty five, I would never spend a minute worrying. And it helped me at that time to be reminded to look for what is the advantage of whatever stage of life I'm in. So as a single person, that meant like, I'm going to go travel with my friends, I'm going to embrace the freedom of being single, and I'm going to sleep in the middle of the bed and know that one of the advantages is that I look super arrested compared to my friends who were married enough kids and embrace getting a full night sleep when others are struggling because they're taking care of it. Is so I really kind of I tried to adopt that philosophy of the grass is not greener on the other side, how do I make the grass that I'm in as green as I want it to be whatever situation I'm in. That definitely helped me during some low times thinking about that definition of being single. And I would say, you know, part of the timing for me because it's similar to you. If I had been serious or married any of the man I had dated when I was younger, I certainly would have been divorced. There's no doubt about it, and not because there's anything wrong with them, but I wasn't showing up as me fully. And you know, at some point in a relationship you start to show up as yourself fully and sometimes that's when you're a little more honest with yourself that maybe this person doesn't have the qualities or characteristics you're looking for, and maybe they're not bringing out the very best in you either. So I would say that the age related to love is almost irrelevant. It is about are you loving yourself first? And are you fully accepting yourself first? And then you will be able to open that full self up to somebody else. And it's not about what your gene size is or the number on your scale, or what your hair looks like. Is it pray or is it, you know, a natural color. Are you wrinkled or smooth skinned? I mean, the ultimate connection of love is heart to heart and it's not about the outward appearance.

You know when people say to me, hey, Lienne, but you know, I was just talking to a woman actually this week, you know, and she's in her sixties and she wants love, but there's things that are keeping her from it, and I totally get it.

You know when people say to me, hey, Lienne, but you know, I was just talking to a woman actually this week, you know, and she's in her sixties and she wants love, but there's things that are keeping her from it, and I totally get it.

It's not an age. Is not a discrimination like.

It's not an age. Is not a discrimination like.

This happens to women that are in their twenties that are like Leanne, I'm you know, I'm twenty eight and I haven't found love, like am I doomed? And it's like, again, this problem doesn't discriminate. It happens to every woman because it's a belief struggle, right. But one of my mentors used to say, it's true, but it's also irrelevant. So your age, whatever your age is, whatever your weight is, like the fact that you are a certain age and a certain weight and single, it's true, but it's also irrelevant. It really comes down to like, and it's not that it doesn't matter that you're sad about it, right, It's just like it doesn't make a difference in how your future has to manifest. Right. Part of it is like, if you choose to believe the lie that you are X and therefore your single or your why and therefore your single, you are going to be a victim to your circumstances.

This happens to women that are in their twenties that are like Leanne, I'm you know, I'm twenty eight and I haven't found love, like am I doomed? And it's like, again, this problem doesn't discriminate. It happens to every woman because it's a belief struggle, right. But one of my mentors used to say, it's true, but it's also irrelevant. So your age, whatever your age is, whatever your weight is, like the fact that you are a certain age and a certain weight and single, it's true, but it's also irrelevant. It really comes down to like, and it's not that it doesn't matter that you're sad about it, right, It's just like it doesn't make a difference in how your future has to manifest. Right. Part of it is like, if you choose to believe the lie that you are X and therefore your single or your why and therefore your single, you are going to be a victim to your circumstances.

What you have to do is you have to take radical.

What you have to do is you have to take radical.

Ownership of your belief system and you have to change it and create the life that you want. And it really is that simple, right, simple, not easy, but you've got to draw a line in the sand where you say no, I'm done believing this lie because this doing more of the same is the cycle of insanity, the definition of insanity.

Ownership of your belief system and you have to change it and create the life that you want. And it really is that simple, right, simple, not easy, but you've got to draw a line in the sand where you say no, I'm done believing this lie because this doing more of the same is the cycle of insanity, the definition of insanity.

You know, I met up with a good girlfriend yesterday who we haven't seen each other.

You know, I met up with a good girlfriend yesterday who we haven't seen each other.

We've texted and talked in to keep in touch, but we got together for a walk yesterday because we hadn't really seen much of each other in the pandemic, and you know, we were talking, catching each other up, and of course she wanted to hear about my relationship.

We've texted and talked in to keep in touch, but we got together for a walk yesterday because we hadn't really seen much of each other in the pandemic, and you know, we were talking, catching each other up, and of course she wanted to hear about my relationship.

And one of the things.

And one of the things.

That I said to her because she's been you know, on the sidelines of the different men that I've dated, you know, in the last five years since I moved to Tennessee, and I said to her, I was like, yeah, like this one he makes every other person that I've dated like makes sense, and I see why they.

That I said to her because she's been you know, on the sidelines of the different men that I've dated, you know, in the last five years since I moved to Tennessee, and I said to her, I was like, yeah, like this one he makes every other person that I've dated like makes sense, and I see why they.

Were all a really important role.

Were all a really important role.

In becoming who I needed to become to attract Charles, you know. And it really is like we can look back at our past air quotes failures as failures, or we can look back at them of evidence of like, oh, this is where I learned what I didn't like and what I didn't want, and who I don't want to be and who I do want to be and all these things.

In becoming who I needed to become to attract Charles, you know. And it really is like we can look back at our past air quotes failures as failures, or we can look back at them of evidence of like, oh, this is where I learned what I didn't like and what I didn't want, and who I don't want to be and who I do want to be and all these things.

Like again, it's a choice, absolutely and you know, one of the definitions that I had struggled with at the time, one of my and I mean this is a very limiting belief was I felt like God was somehow like, so, I'm a faith filled person. Why hasn't God put this person in my life? I'm being left behind for some reason. I feel persecuted for some reason. And I remember the day that there was there was some research study done the happiest people on earth are single women without kids. When I read that, there was a part of me that shifted that day. I was like, huh, so, what if all along God has been actually protecting me, saying you're a super happy person and you may never be any happier than this. Here's the reality. God was not persecuting me or rewarding me. There's nothing I could do to make him love me more or less. But that was the story that was going in my mind. And I remember how everything shifted when I read that research study, and it made me say, huh, what if what if I've been looking at this all wrong? What if story was completely fabricated in my head? And I've been feeling crappy because I've been telling myself this.

Like again, it's a choice, absolutely and you know, one of the definitions that I had struggled with at the time, one of my and I mean this is a very limiting belief was I felt like God was somehow like, so, I'm a faith filled person. Why hasn't God put this person in my life? I'm being left behind for some reason. I feel persecuted for some reason. And I remember the day that there was there was some research study done the happiest people on earth are single women without kids. When I read that, there was a part of me that shifted that day. I was like, huh, so, what if all along God has been actually protecting me, saying you're a super happy person and you may never be any happier than this. Here's the reality. God was not persecuting me or rewarding me. There's nothing I could do to make him love me more or less. But that was the story that was going in my mind. And I remember how everything shifted when I read that research study, and it made me say, huh, what if what if I've been looking at this all wrong? What if story was completely fabricated in my head? And I've been feeling crappy because I've been telling myself this.

Story absolutely absolutely. You know.

Story absolutely absolutely. You know.

One of the things that came in my head when you said that is, I'm like, you know who the happiest people in the world are the people who learn what it takes for them to be happy, you know, and like.

One of the things that came in my head when you said that is, I'm like, you know who the happiest people in the world are the people who learn what it takes for them to be happy, you know, and like.

People who accept themselves and.

People who accept themselves and.

To sign it, you know.

To sign it, you know.

And happiness is like, it's not this like all encompassing thing, Like happy people aren't necessarily happy all the time. It's it is a state of being, you know, like they're seeing the ebbs and flows in life. But like, as you were saying that, like when you embraced this idea of you know, hey, what if I embrace my singleness right now while I'm single, you know, and.

And happiness is like, it's not this like all encompassing thing, Like happy people aren't necessarily happy all the time. It's it is a state of being, you know, like they're seeing the ebbs and flows in life. But like, as you were saying that, like when you embraced this idea of you know, hey, what if I embrace my singleness right now while I'm single, you know, and.

Found happiness now.

Found happiness now.

And it's it's such a similar pattern for women that are like, again, when I lose the weight, then I'll be happy. When i'm a certain you know, side dress size or gene number, then I'll be happy. And it's the same thing. When I'm with a person, then I'll be happy. It's like, no, what if you started at happy and brought that with you into your relationship or create trying to create relationships and brought that with you into your weight loss journey and brought that with you into your health journey again. Start at healthy, start it happy, and bring it with you because I'm telling you, ladies, I have been in relationships and I was miserable and I have been at my most dreamy so to speak, weight and I was miserable, right, And you go, what do they say everywhere you go?

And it's it's such a similar pattern for women that are like, again, when I lose the weight, then I'll be happy. When i'm a certain you know, side dress size or gene number, then I'll be happy. And it's the same thing. When I'm with a person, then I'll be happy. It's like, no, what if you started at happy and brought that with you into your relationship or create trying to create relationships and brought that with you into your weight loss journey and brought that with you into your health journey again. Start at healthy, start it happy, and bring it with you because I'm telling you, ladies, I have been in relationships and I was miserable and I have been at my most dreamy so to speak, weight and I was miserable, right, And you go, what do they say everywhere you go?

There you are, so you're.

There you are, so you're.

Going to bring whatever internal Like I was just about to say, baggage, but it really is just your internal narrative with you. And sometimes it feels heavy, and it feels like a lot of extra baggage, right, And.

Going to bring whatever internal Like I was just about to say, baggage, but it really is just your internal narrative with you. And sometimes it feels heavy, and it feels like a lot of extra baggage, right, And.

It seems like such an easy concept to just change your mind, lay that weight down. It is a process, is what I found. And you have definitely helped me in that process to identify the areas where I have a narrative that is not helping me, or that is limiting me or is hurting me, and how to rewrite that narrative and doesn't take long. And it is amazing when that shift happens simply from letting go of a belief that is hurting you absolutely. And one of those beliefs, you know, was how I was defining myself as single. And you know, I dated Jose almost fully during the pandemic. There are lots of people in my life who've not met him yet or who have no idea that I have been dating him for nearly two years. And what's interesting is they don't treat me any differently now that I'm in a couple with Jose than they did when I was single. The only person who was treating me differently being single or being in a relationship was me.

It seems like such an easy concept to just change your mind, lay that weight down. It is a process, is what I found. And you have definitely helped me in that process to identify the areas where I have a narrative that is not helping me, or that is limiting me or is hurting me, and how to rewrite that narrative and doesn't take long. And it is amazing when that shift happens simply from letting go of a belief that is hurting you absolutely. And one of those beliefs, you know, was how I was defining myself as single. And you know, I dated Jose almost fully during the pandemic. There are lots of people in my life who've not met him yet or who have no idea that I have been dating him for nearly two years. And what's interesting is they don't treat me any differently now that I'm in a couple with Jose than they did when I was single. The only person who was treating me differently being single or being in a relationship was me.

Yeah, and kind of stacking on what you said a minute ago, like, yeah, changing your beliefs and your mindset about it. It's simple, not easy, but like once you have a plan, it absolutely is, but it's also not it's not logical. Like I live in the beautiful world that everybody lives in where if you post something on social media, like there might be people that you've never met from the Peanut gallery giving their opinion. So I had a post about like emotional eating and the firing and wiring that happens alongside food and how it's different in the female brain, and I had this woman who I don't know, but she's a psychotherapist comment on my post, being like, I think a lot of emotional eating is just macro depletion, like if you just eat more good carbs, spats and protein, emotional eating goes away.

Yeah, and kind of stacking on what you said a minute ago, like, yeah, changing your beliefs and your mindset about it. It's simple, not easy, but like once you have a plan, it absolutely is, but it's also not it's not logical. Like I live in the beautiful world that everybody lives in where if you post something on social media, like there might be people that you've never met from the Peanut gallery giving their opinion. So I had a post about like emotional eating and the firing and wiring that happens alongside food and how it's different in the female brain, and I had this woman who I don't know, but she's a psychotherapist comment on my post, being like, I think a lot of emotional eating is just macro depletion, like if you just eat more good carbs, spats and protein, emotional eating goes away.

And I'm like, okay, cool.

And I'm like, okay, cool.

I appreciate your response, and maybe that might be part of the solution. But first of all, that's such a logical solution to an emotional problem when most of these people are women, are not eating because they're hungry and they need carbs, spats and protein.

I appreciate your response, and maybe that might be part of the solution. But first of all, that's such a logical solution to an emotional problem when most of these people are women, are not eating because they're hungry and they need carbs, spats and protein.

It's not logical.

It's not logical.

It's not that you can't logic your way through an emotional problem. And I was, you know, a little flustered. I'll just use that word because I'm like, you're a psychotherapist, like you should know. This is not just logical, it's emotional. And you're trying to talk about like fats and carbs, you know. So part of it is like, yeah, it sounds all fine and dandy about like, oh, just changing your mindset.

It's not that you can't logic your way through an emotional problem. And I was, you know, a little flustered. I'll just use that word because I'm like, you're a psychotherapist, like you should know. This is not just logical, it's emotional. And you're trying to talk about like fats and carbs, you know. So part of it is like, yeah, it sounds all fine and dandy about like, oh, just changing your mindset.

But that's why, ladies, you can't just read.

But that's why, ladies, you can't just read.

You can't like follow a motivational speaker on Instagram and think that by through osmosis you're going to transform.

You can't like follow a motivational speaker on Instagram and think that by through osmosis you're going to transform.

These are deep seat of beliefs.

These are deep seat of beliefs.

Now, we do not need to go dig up in the emotional graveyard and expose old traumas and psychoanalyze your past. In fact, like I invite you to stop doing that. You've done that enough. But what you do need to do is take a very right now approach to your current beliefs in paradigm that are keeping you in the mindset.

Now, we do not need to go dig up in the emotional graveyard and expose old traumas and psychoanalyze your past. In fact, like I invite you to stop doing that. You've done that enough. But what you do need to do is take a very right now approach to your current beliefs in paradigm that are keeping you in the mindset.

That you're in.

That you're in.

Whether it is in your mindset around your relationships, food, your body, it's all interconnected.

Whether it is in your mindset around your relationships, food, your body, it's all interconnected.

As Susanne is really modeling.

As Susanne is really modeling.

To you, right she thought she was coming to me for a food struggle and it ended up being so much more, you know, And so I just wanted to say that too, Ladi Z, Like, you can't keep trying to logic and reason your way through an emotional problem. Diets won't fix it, you know, dating apps won't fix it. Making more money or you know, accelerating your career will not fix the emotional availability.

To you, right she thought she was coming to me for a food struggle and it ended up being so much more, you know, And so I just wanted to say that too, Ladi Z, Like, you can't keep trying to logic and reason your way through an emotional problem. Diets won't fix it, you know, dating apps won't fix it. Making more money or you know, accelerating your career will not fix the emotional availability.

Struggle that you have with yourself or self rejection.

Struggle that you have with yourself or self rejection.

You know, a big part of your journey kind of after you found your voice.

You know, a big part of your journey kind of after you found your voice.

We talked about your your relationships, but a big part.

We talked about your your relationships, but a big part.

Of it was like finding your voice and finding your work and your professional life totally switching gears on you, Like, yeah, a little bit about how that aligned with this journey too, and how it all kind of intermingled in the mix.

Of it was like finding your voice and finding your work and your professional life totally switching gears on you, Like, yeah, a little bit about how that aligned with this journey too, and how it all kind of intermingled in the mix.

You know.

You know.

One of the things that I found interesting is as I would fix I'm air quoting fix one area in my self worth, it would pop up in another area and I would realize, oh, there's still you know, I still have lingering issues for limiting beliefs in another area that is tied to this. And it definitely happened in the workplace where how I was showing up. I was feeling disrespected frequently, but I wasn't modeling how do I respect myself as clearly defining what are my boundaries and how do I reclaim what needs to be my time versus work time, versus what I do for others, what I do for myself, and what I do for the organization I work for. And as I started to redefine what that was, it was not comfortable for everybody and it's not going to be. But what I learned was how to stand for myself, how to be a stand for me, what it is that I need, what I know to be true for me, and what's true for me might be completely different than what's true for somebody else, but what was true for me was I was in a pattern of always being the fixer, always being the person to take care of all the problems that others didn't want to have to deal with. And you know, that pattern had shown up in my family role. It showed up on a regular basis that, oh, Suzanne's ultimately so capable, we'll just let her fix all of this stuff. And as a result, I was resentful. I felt like the dumping brown. I frequently, you know, felt like, well, how am I the pack mule of this whole, big group and I'm the leader? Why am I getting dumped on this way? And part of it was I was allowing it on, And part of it was also I hadn't drawn my own firm boundaries. And when you draw those boundaries, it can feel at times confrontational, even though it's not. And it's because you're at war with yourself a little bit in those boundaries, more than other people are at or about those boundaries. And it's so fascinating to me that when you respect yourself and are clear of about how you want that respectful behavior to be shown to you, you then have the tools to be able to calmly. And I want to say unemotionally, you know, not charged motion to be able to say it's not okay to talk to me that way. What is it that I can help you. I'm happy to help you, but not when you speak to me that way is not confrontational, it's actually quite calm, and it very clearly defines the boundary that this is not about me not being willing to do X, y Z, but I'm not willing to be talked to this way or treated this way. And I saw massive shifts in my work relationships that had brought me great angst. And for those that could not accept those shifts, they left, you know, because I was standing firm and who I am and how I was redefining my own worth in my life. And as I said, several relationships improved because of it, including the relationship with my supervisor, and that was I mean, that was a really angst filled relationship. And being able to be at a place where we're calm and you can disagree on things, but there is a level of respect that was not there previously has made all the difference in how I approached my work and enjoy my work.

One of the things that I found interesting is as I would fix I'm air quoting fix one area in my self worth, it would pop up in another area and I would realize, oh, there's still you know, I still have lingering issues for limiting beliefs in another area that is tied to this. And it definitely happened in the workplace where how I was showing up. I was feeling disrespected frequently, but I wasn't modeling how do I respect myself as clearly defining what are my boundaries and how do I reclaim what needs to be my time versus work time, versus what I do for others, what I do for myself, and what I do for the organization I work for. And as I started to redefine what that was, it was not comfortable for everybody and it's not going to be. But what I learned was how to stand for myself, how to be a stand for me, what it is that I need, what I know to be true for me, and what's true for me might be completely different than what's true for somebody else, but what was true for me was I was in a pattern of always being the fixer, always being the person to take care of all the problems that others didn't want to have to deal with. And you know, that pattern had shown up in my family role. It showed up on a regular basis that, oh, Suzanne's ultimately so capable, we'll just let her fix all of this stuff. And as a result, I was resentful. I felt like the dumping brown. I frequently, you know, felt like, well, how am I the pack mule of this whole, big group and I'm the leader? Why am I getting dumped on this way? And part of it was I was allowing it on, And part of it was also I hadn't drawn my own firm boundaries. And when you draw those boundaries, it can feel at times confrontational, even though it's not. And it's because you're at war with yourself a little bit in those boundaries, more than other people are at or about those boundaries. And it's so fascinating to me that when you respect yourself and are clear of about how you want that respectful behavior to be shown to you, you then have the tools to be able to calmly. And I want to say unemotionally, you know, not charged motion to be able to say it's not okay to talk to me that way. What is it that I can help you. I'm happy to help you, but not when you speak to me that way is not confrontational, it's actually quite calm, and it very clearly defines the boundary that this is not about me not being willing to do X, y Z, but I'm not willing to be talked to this way or treated this way. And I saw massive shifts in my work relationships that had brought me great angst. And for those that could not accept those shifts, they left, you know, because I was standing firm and who I am and how I was redefining my own worth in my life. And as I said, several relationships improved because of it, including the relationship with my supervisor, and that was I mean, that was a really angst filled relationship. And being able to be at a place where we're calm and you can disagree on things, but there is a level of respect that was not there previously has made all the difference in how I approached my work and enjoy my work.

Yeah, oh my gosh, it's so cool. So many different things that you're saying.

Yeah, oh my gosh, it's so cool. So many different things that you're saying.

But part of it is, like, ladies, if you have lived in a certain identity your whole life, where you're the one that always listens, or you're the one that you know, people walk over like some people say, come to my calls, and they're like, leanne, I'm a carpet like I just I have a hard time finding my voice and people just walk all over me. Maybe you're the pleaser, the perfectionist, whatever it is, and then you build relationships within that identity and people like get used to you being that version of yourself. Maybe you're the quiet one, Maybe you're the one who always listens but never speaks right.

But part of it is, like, ladies, if you have lived in a certain identity your whole life, where you're the one that always listens, or you're the one that you know, people walk over like some people say, come to my calls, and they're like, leanne, I'm a carpet like I just I have a hard time finding my voice and people just walk all over me. Maybe you're the pleaser, the perfectionist, whatever it is, and then you build relationships within that identity and people like get used to you being that version of yourself. Maybe you're the quiet one, Maybe you're the one who always listens but never speaks right.

Maybe you are the ragey one. You know.

Maybe you are the ragey one. You know.

But when people get used to you being a certain way and then you shift, if they're not able to receive that shift, it can create a little bit of tension.

But when people get used to you being a certain way and then you shift, if they're not able to receive that shift, it can create a little bit of tension.

But the flip side of it too is.

But the flip side of it too is.

Like this happens a lot of time with my clients on a couple different levels. One is if my clients build relationships with people that are always like obsessing over food or their weight and all that, and then they get around these women and they're no longer playing that game anymore.

Like this happens a lot of time with my clients on a couple different levels. One is if my clients build relationships with people that are always like obsessing over food or their weight and all that, and then they get around these women and they're no longer playing that game anymore.

But the women that they're around are still.

But the women that they're around are still.

Like, Oh, I can't eat that it has too many cars, or oh, I'm so fat. My clients like they feel that internal resistance and it's almost like a trigger to them, and we have to deal with that right and.

Like, Oh, I can't eat that it has too many cars, or oh, I'm so fat. My clients like they feel that internal resistance and it's almost like a trigger to them, and we have to deal with that right and.

Have moved towards compassion and all these things.

Have moved towards compassion and all these things.

But the other side of it is you might understand or come to realize and it's not always fun and.

But the other side of it is you might understand or come to realize and it's not always fun and.

Pretty, as kind of Suzanne was referencing.

Pretty, as kind of Suzanne was referencing.

When you grow and evolve and become brighter and better and more amazing and like shine, brighter and all those things, there's going to be people that are threatened by that, and they're going to try and knock you down.

When you grow and evolve and become brighter and better and more amazing and like shine, brighter and all those things, there's going to be people that are threatened by that, and they're going to try and knock you down.

And then you're going to.

And then you're going to.

Really see who the best people in your life are, because they're the ones that want you to win. They want everyone to win. They love that you're growing, they love that you're happy, they love that you're succeeding, and it kind of becomes binary. You're going to see, unfortunately, some of your friends are not for you. Maybe some of your family members are threatened.

Really see who the best people in your life are, because they're the ones that want you to win. They want everyone to win. They love that you're growing, they love that you're happy, they love that you're succeeding, and it kind of becomes binary. You're going to see, unfortunately, some of your friends are not for you. Maybe some of your family members are threatened.

By your success.

By your success.

And what a lot of us do is if we're not resilient enough we shrink back down into our previous identity, and Suzanne had to do a lot of I was just about to say shrinking up, but you know what I mean, an opposite direction, pushing not pushing back in a defensive way.

And what a lot of us do is if we're not resilient enough we shrink back down into our previous identity, and Suzanne had to do a lot of I was just about to say shrinking up, but you know what I mean, an opposite direction, pushing not pushing back in a defensive way.

And here's a big distinction that we talk about. You know, you and I have talked about before, but the difference between standing up for.

And here's a big distinction that we talk about. You know, you and I have talked about before, but the difference between standing up for.

Yourself, because that puts you in the defense, You're in fight mode. It's kind of puts you in this resistance versus no, just being a stand for who you are and being unshakable in who you are and just being not really saying, not fighting back, not on the defense, just being just standing, being a stand. And then again, the people that are for you will be for you, and the people that aren't they will disappear themselves from your life.

Yourself, because that puts you in the defense, You're in fight mode. It's kind of puts you in this resistance versus no, just being a stand for who you are and being unshakable in who you are and just being not really saying, not fighting back, not on the defense, just being just standing, being a stand. And then again, the people that are for you will be for you, and the people that aren't they will disappear themselves from your life.

Yeah, and it's really incredible. I have watched some of those people just kind of out of my life, and you're right. I love the distinction between being a stand for yourself and taking a stand, because taking a stand is about like I'm picking up arms, I'm going to fight, and being a stand is just I'm going to be truthful to who I am and I'm just going to stand here and who I know myself to be, and I'm going to make my decisions based on that which I know about myself. And when I'm doing that, regardless of the outcome, I know that the person that I'm ultimately answering to is myself and not to somebody else's expectations, not to somebody else's rules, not to somebody else's definition of what should be. I'm responding and I'm authentically living in who I want to be, how I want to be, and how I want to show up in the world.