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All About Sex Positivity with Akil Apollo Davis

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This episode may get your heads scratching if you're tuning in from a society that has very specific relationship dynamics and arrangements in place. My curiosity to how other's live their lives and what they deem as healthy for their relationships has never been higher, as I am in the process of becoming the best partner and friend myself.

In this episode, I speak to Akil Apollo Davis, a full-time Performing Artist & Theatre Professor of Mask and Art Aesthetic. He has been a unique and influential presence in New York City’s performance, educational and cultural avant-garde for 2 decades. We discuss the ins and outs of this thing called Sex Positivity. And to give you a brief idea, sex positivity is a social and cultural movement that promotes an affirmative and open attitude towards all aspects of sexuality. It encourages individuals to embrace and explore their own sexual desires, preferences, and identities without judgment or shame. Sex positivity emphasizes the importance of consent, communication, and respect in sexual relationships.

He has trained with Monks in Thailand, Brahmans in Bali, Witches in New York, and has worked with Psychologists to bridge the gaps between esoteric knowledge and classical paradigms.

Akil’s Karmic mantra: there must be more light.

Episode Highlights

  • Meet the one and only Akil
  • How he went from celibacy to monogamy to discovering consensual non-monogamy
  • Akil's understanding of attachment and fear in relationships
  • The establishment of monogamy
  • Accessing your healthy sexual energy
  • The tiers of being non-monogamous, and the importance of communication on your wants and needs
  • Emotional maturity
  • Real life examples on how non-monogamy works
  • The ins and outs of play parties
  • The downsides of sex positivity/monogamy
  • Compersion - a new word to remember

Resources, courtesy of Akil:Sex-Positivity for Curious Minds

1.“The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy
2.“Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life” by Emily Nagoski
3.“Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships” by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá
4.“Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships” by Tristan Taormino
5.“What Makes a Baby” by Cory Silverberg (for all kinds of families)
6.“Queer: A Graphic History” by Meg-John Barker and Julia Scheele
7.“The New Topping Book” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy
8.“The New Bottoming Book” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy
9.“Girl Sex 101” by Allison Moon and KD Diamond
10.“Pussy: A Reclamation” by Regena Thomashauer
11.“Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century” by Barbara Carrellas
12.“Sex God Method” by Daniel Rose
13.“The Art of Sexual Magic: Cultivating Sexual Energy to Transform Your Life” by Margo Anand 

Psychological and Emotional Work for Curious Minds
1.“The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” by Bessel van der Kolk
2.“The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse” by Wendy Maltz
3.“Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma” by Staci Haines
4.“Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha” by Tara Brach
5.“The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship” by Don Miguel Ruiz
6.“Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Dr. Sue Johnson
7.“More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory” by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert
8.“Love’s Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy” by Irvin D. Yalom
9.“Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex—and How to Get It” by Marty Klein 

Improving Your Sex Life
1.“She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman” by Ian Kerner
2.“The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know” by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams
3.“The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge” by Tristan Taormino
4.“The Multi-Orgasmic Woman: How Any Woman Can Experience Ultimate Pleasure and Dramatically Enhance Her Health and Happiness” by Mantak Chia and Rachel Carlton Abrams
5.“The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: How Couples Can Dramatically Enhance Their Pleasure, Intimacy, and Health” by Mantak Chia, Maneewan Chia, Douglas Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams
6.“The Enlightened Sex Manual: Sexual Skills for the Superior Lover” by David Deida
7.“Guide to Getting It On: Unzipped” by Paul Joannides, Psy.D.
8.“Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man” by Ian Kerner 

Get in touch with Stephanie: | @listeningwellpodcast

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