Learned the Hard Way with Kier Gaines
Learned the Hard Way with Kier Gaines
No fluff. No judgment. Just real talk. Licensed therapist Kier Gaines brings over a decade of insight to break down what it really means to be a man today the pressure, the innovation, the grief, the joy, the grind, and the opportunities to thrive. With honest stories, actionable tips, and unfiltered insights, this is the space to level up, heal, and grow. On your terms. Edited and produced by I…Social links:
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EP 24: Are You Asking Your Partner to Be Your Peace?
Are you expecting your partner to be responsible for your peace? We hear “I just want someone who brings me peace” all the time. But what does that actually mean? Does it mean never arguing? Never being challenged? Never having to deal with difficult emotions? Or does it mean feeling safe enough t…
59:47
EP 23: Your Job Is Not Your Identity ft. Jason Rosario
What happens when the thing you’ve always used to measure your value starts disappearing? For a lot of men, work has never just been work. It’s how we provide. How we prove ourselves. How we measure success. And sometimes, whether we admit it or not, it becomes a big part of how we decide whether …
1:16:14
EP 22: Who Told You You’re Behind?
It’s hard to appreciate your own life when you’re constantly measuring it against somebody else’s. Their career is moving faster. They bought the house. They got married. Their business is growing. Their family looks perfect. And thanks to social media, somebody else’s wins are always close enough…
1:00:09
EP 21: I Love My Kids… But I Don’t Love Being a Parent
You can love your kids with everything in you and still not love being a parent all the time. The pickups. The drop-offs. The schedules. The sleepless nights. The endless questions. The responsibility of being needed every single day. Parenthood can be one of the most meaningful parts of your life…
50:26
EP 20: Why Men Are Afraid to Say “I Don’t Know” ft. Dr. Dakotah Tyler
What if the smartest thing you could say is, “I don’t know”? In this episode of Learned the Hard Way, Kier Gaines sits down with astrophysicist and former Division I football player Dr. Dakotah Tyler (Dr. Star Kid)for a conversation about curiosity, masculinity, identity, and what happens when the…
1:24:27
EP 19: You Can't Fix People You Love
Sometimes the people we love are carrying more than we can see. A new baby. A growing career. Depression. Anxiety. Burnout. The pressure of leadership. The weight of trying to hold a family together. When someone you love is struggling, your first instinct is usually to fix it but what if that's n…
1:00:13
EP 18: Money Won't Make You Feel Safe ft Tiffany Aliche (The Budgetnista)
Money isn't just something we earn, spend, or save. It's something we feel. For a lot of us especially men money quietly becomes the measure of our safety, our confidence, and sometimes even our identity. A healthy bank account can make us feel secure. An unexpected expense can make us question ou…
1:20:09
EP 17: Don't Trade Peace for Pleasure ft. KevOnStage
Everybody talks about cheating like it's a morality issue.This conversation asks a different question: What are you actually risking... and what are you really chasing? In this episode of (L)Earned The Hard Way, Kier Gaines sits down with comedian, entrepreneur, and husband KevOnStage for one of t…
1:29:28
EP 16: The Performance Tax: The Price Black People Pay to Succeed (Ft. Savon & Antoinette from the Can’t Afford Therapy Podcast)
Some rooms don't just ask you to show up.They ask you to perform. To soften your voice. To shrink your personality. To make yourself "easier" to digest. To become a version of yourself that feels acceptable even if it doesn't feel authentic. For Black professionals, that performance often becomes…
1:34:50
EP 15: You Can Be a Good Person... and Still Be a Bad Partner
Being a good person doesn't automatically make you a good partner. In this episode of (L)Earned The Hard Way, Kier Gaines unpacks one of the biggest misconceptions about relationships: character and relationship skills are not the same thing. You can be kind, loyal, funny, and deeply loved by the …
55:29