Explicit

"I Like Nerdy Guys" (w/ Catherine Cohen)

Published Aug 2, 2017, 4:12 AM

REJOICE! Living legend (and legendary Catherine) Catherine Cohen is FINALLY on Las Culturistas! Matt and Bowen BELT some ballads, talk about their CRUSHES of yesteryear (Sean William Scott anyoneeee?), and RAIL against Spotify. Catherine chats Les Mis, The OC, and her upcoming podcast "Turner Masters Memory Hospital." It's one for the ages honey and dare we say....glroooo!!! (glroooo is happening wether you like it or not). 

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My grandma and your grandma. Was it in bad fire? My grandma grandma. I'm gonna say, but I'm gonna fire. It's bad hin. I like Jagamo Jam calling. You have two jet setters as hosts. Officially, it's true. Touchdown, touchdowndown, touchdown from Canada. I'm back in the States. You used your passport, you used my new passport. You have a stamp. That's so cool. They didn't stamp it. I thought I was all excited. I was like, you know, let's not stress that they will stamp it at some point. No stamps to be had. I guess it's different with Canadian even on the return trip. No even on the return. Also, we should say I very nearly didn't make it there because I went to the literal wrong airport, you guys. I went to Newark, which whoever elects to go to New York, I went to New York instead of the correct La Guardia. But don't worry, we worked it out. We'll tell you about it later. We'll tell you about it later. Um. For those of you who don't know, Match just went to Montreal for the just for last festival. Huge deal, huge deal. The city shuts down for it. The industry shuts down for it, bitch um. But before we get to that, and before we get to our guest, I just want to make a huge announcement, a new announcement. I'm officially a Soul Cycle Warrior, which means that during this is Warrior Week is ending tomorrow. It's not like getting a black belt. No, it's um. You. If you take four classes within a week, this very specific window of a week, you get UM your name on the website. Meo my, get a beer, cuzy, a phonecase, and a toe bag for free, for free, for the low price of competence athleticism, sports and accumulative total of a hundred and seventy dollars worth of classes. But you know what, we'll see if it's worth it. I think it's worth it. I think I see you getting stronger and getting slimmer and getting more confident. Here's a strong, slim, confident guest that we have. Let's go through the credit. Let's do that. I mean, right here on the Forever Dog Podcast Network, you're gonna be hearing Turner Master's Memory Hospital. It's coming out, you guys, and let me tell you it's gonna be a maelstrom of a vocal character performances, including ours. Truly, truly, that's the poural of yours true right right. Also, you guys, U it's a guy thing. At Union Hall, she hosts with Patty Harrison and mature Drew Hary. I mean you know him, you love him. And of course the amazing solo show at the Duplex, which is happening again. Okay, amazing it's called The Twist. She's gorgeous. Please welcome Catherine Cohen. I can't express how long I've been waiting for this moment. You can express. I am such a fan of the pod. Every time I refreshed and I see there's a new up, I just get on the train. Yeah, I just right it until it's done. Let me go as far as it will take me for I'm like, I'm ready, and you're like, I'm this is a true joy I futherin. I'm just excited that now. But if you haven't heard of Katherine, now I'm excited that you've heard. Yes, She's the platonic ideal of a performer, one of the icons, one of the icons up and coming. I think household name. I'm so excited already. At the top of the podcast, we have phoeing at the most hid Catherine, how are you? Oh my god, I'm incredible. She is incredible. Well, I was telling hot producers this summer, I have made swimming a priority, more confident. Where are you swimming? How long do you swim? What's the process like disrobing? I just get away from this place as much as I can. I just go far, far, far, to the lake, to the hole, to the beach, to the pool. Yeah, to the pool, but you swim, and this is important swims. Speaking of soul Cycle because they are owned by Equinox. Yes, Equinox spots, sole Cycle and then the yeah for like Amazon lots of money. Okay, Amazon Whole Foods and we Okay, you're the first person who can share with me this gospel of Equinox. And Katherine even helped me decide to sign up. I'm equinox obsessed. Okay, what do you love about it? What are your favorite things? Luxury towels. But in all seriousness, it was the first place that I went and I was like, Okay, I'm going to come here every day, right because it's amazing because you're motivated to go and then it pays for itself. Just pas. Okay, so that is that guess what I get? Because when you signed up for it, Bowen, and when Dave signed up for it, all of a sudden, no other the three of us, the two of them were in and I was like, okay, am I now weird for not doing that because the majority in the group was doing Most Americans are equanoms. Most Americans are Equinox. It's it's just like that's actually rum number six culture. Most Americans are Equinox NOx members. Yea, And I have to say that I love the Equinox newsletter. What is it called Fundamentals or something furthermore furthermore that psychotic, but it's incredible. It's psychotic, and it's it's not for me. I'm not living that lifestyle. It's a little group. It's goop. It's like it's like here these insane abdominal workouts you use with sliders. I'm like, no, I would never do this. But also I would like to someday in my elderly years to get to that level. I'd assume you're at a level already, right, I think it does. I'd like to make a shout out on the pody. I'd like to shout out Nico Franco Hi, Nico. He encouraged me to get an AB wheel and Nico as a listener. And this is the first time we're mentioning him. He's become our friend via text. We will meet in person one day. But he's encouraged me to do use the AB wheel. Yes, and I have used it to times and you know yeah, and you know yeah it hurts. I do not have an ab okay, so I have my No, I have no such ab but Cathco swimming. What else is on the list for you? When you go walk into Equinox? Oh? When I? When I? When you go? Because yeah, because you can't all just be about the pool. I'm aimless. I'm still I'm kind of know what I'm doing when I go in there every day. But it's like I have to share that I have indulged in a few personal training sessions And what are they like when they are just like fucking squat so you draw, just like shaking, trembling, lunging. It's horrible. I hate it so much. But what are the trainers are they? Well? Always I always get new trainers because I want to pay the least amount, So I'm like, give me Tier one. I'm like, I don't need Tier X. So they're all like they just they just graduated from college, they're in the city, they're trying something new. Their names like yeah or Jason shout out to Jason. Jason came to my show with his girlfriend, who's also an Equonux trainer. Oh my god, they're probably hot. Are they facially hot as well as physically hot? Yeah, they're not for me, but they are generally hot. Generally hot, I like kind of a mangled like I just got punched in the face hot. Yes, I'm gravitating towards that. The older I want a mangled face. Yes, someone who's been there, Someone who's been there. Who is the celebrity that's so hot with a mangled Who is that? Who is that sex icon that is like why are they? Oh? I know one Mark Ruffalo. Not that he looks like he's gotten like roughed up, because he's particularly tough, but he's like a sex symbol that is like okay, and you're like all right, but then you're like all right, right, right, Oh, that's a great question because they're out there. You know, I want to say sexy mangled icon um like Nicolas Cage for me, just not attractive conventionally, but like he's got something. There's something about that moonstruck speech I've never seen walk. Okay, So, speaking of cultural blind spots, we want to find out what fills out your spots. Yeah, we're going to ask you the question that we ask little filling up your little spots, your little culture spots, tight little culture spots. What was the culture that filled up your spots at a young age? Steered you? I think like base level obvious is like I was walking around my house growing up singing but the Tiger's come and I was practicing the shame like every day. So that, like Laman is musical, theater is particular from a very young age, Catherine Cohen fantine around the house, shame, figuring out my head voice, my chest voice, and I love that you you were gravitating to It's funtine and not epen. Yeah, it was never saying on my own, no, I love I love on my own. But funtine is more like a party track. You go in, you're out, Yeah, Like I want to be able to go out after the show. Yeah, yeah, epony, and you have to be visible in many of them, many of the that's so funny. But does come back at the end. That's a thing because she comes back as like an apparition. She doesn't. She doesn't have to belt her tids off like she doesn't. And you know, and why can't I think of this and dream to dream? Yeah, well, she certainly has to be present. She has to be present and listen. You can be like an and go math in and fucking pull a tooth out. She didn't actually do that. But wait, no, she didn't do that. Did any of them pull a tooth out for that performance? No? No, none of them did. But I that's just what I equate. Like, you know, I think I was reading some of that. Nicholas Cage once had teeth removed for as a performance. Oh my god, would you do that? I so a little bit about me is I have a very small mouth and really big teeth. Yes, boy, motherfucker. When I was a little surgically six teeth removed removed and and so I never had to get the wisdoms out because there was space. I have a question, does this mean you always had adult teeth? Was born with the full mouth. No, it was when they came in. I had them really and it was it was like painful, it's a blur, yeah, but like it just had to be done. It had to be done. It was just under ten, counting down from ten, passed out, passed up. Oh my god, that's honestly. My wisdom teeth surgery was a fucking dream. I was on Viking for four days and it was heaven. I love any excuse to be like I have to stand yes. So yeah, I got them. I got my wisdom teeth removed. And I didn't respond well to the vict and like I can't do like an and it makes me too nauseous. But I was on other drugs and I got really into true blood. True blood like really happened for me. Drugs. Yeah, I think you would love because I feel like you would appreciate a heightened pulpy and super well done. Like it's all New York actors, Like they're all incredible. Get behind that? Can New York actor get behind shooting in NYC? Yes, well they shot it in Louisiana, but they certainly took the actors. Y lifted him from the New York stage and gave him an opportunity. I want everyone s that I am ready to be flown out, like I want to be flowne somewhere industry out. I mean, yeah, that's the dream, isn't it. I don't even care about where I stay. I just want the flight. See, I do care about where you stay. They did give us a nice they gave us a nice little situation. Is it now the time, you guys? I was in Montreal for just for laughs, new faces, characters. I'm very excited. Um. So it was a lot of fun, and I'd say Montreal is incredible, like it's amazing city, hometown, your hometown, girl up there I had grown up. I didn't know. And yeah, well the first language French, can you believe? For this one? English his third language, you know, and so and so good at the language. I can't even now listen. So okay, So the festival was amazing and we did great. We're very happy with how it went. But I do want to just say some names, you guys, of people that I want you to because last culture says, listeners, you know, this is about to be a good part of your culture. So there was this one stand up who fucking crushed, And I want to know, have you guys ever heard of sam J? All right, you guys have to check out sam J. Go online just typing the name, see what comes up. Watch. I haven't gotten a chance to google and like really get obsessed online yet. But her set was no holds barred killed, Like this is gonna be a super stallar. I know that she did. Just recorded a Comedy Central half hour. Yeah, so that's coming. She's on the S S A, m J A Y amazing, incredible. And then I just want to shout out the other new faces characters here. They are Cat Palardy and Avery Monson. You guys can see them in l A. They're on the same mon team called Bombardier, and they're both so good. I just want to shout them out. This guy Jeff Dow from Chicago, Second City Boy, so fucking funny, like literally had a crush on but beautiful wife like gorgeous wife. Wife was part of the bit, Yes, part of the bit, wife on stage, Wife on stage. Okay. Heidi Gardner amazing, amazing, Groundlings girl out in l A, l A. People, Nico and the gang go see Heidi and the main company, um Bill Poseley, amazing, amazing performer. He's also at in l a check came out and then I call him my New York City bitches. We all know Misrego killed just amazing. Check she's gonna write for the new Gathered show. Um and and oh, just like the world is, she's truly amazing. And then just three more, my my girls, Matt Garry, you know UCB A Few Sandwich Lovers. That's the name of their stupid ass team Sandwich A few Sandwich Lovers, right, all right, not an old team was lover. Wow, he's obviously wants to be in the sad Okay okay, And then just want to shout out real quick, um, Joe sister, Now I love him. John Trowbridge, you guys, he turned out in any Redman impression that was like the performance of the night, so so good. And then are our way back palon Loon, Oh my god, just amazing. So these are just like people. I want you guys to check out and you will fall into wormholes for all of them. And then the festival itself was so fun, so grateful and excited. What a goal, what a goal? So fun, Matt, Matt's worked his ass off this for a very long time, and it's so deserved and I'm so happy for him, so happy, and it is top tier coming Golden I sing on the gig, coming from literally my two favorite people sitting around here. I'm literally obsessed and I'm not kidding. This is a little love fress right now and a little love fress for them. But it was an emotional week and it was a big cath Co did growing up in Texas Because we had this conversation with Chrissy shock Over, who's also Texas, West Texas. Did you grow up with like she she has? She made a very blanket statement. She was like, if you were a girl growing up in Texas, you knew every Dix. He took this album front to fucking back, and I was, Okay, I believe that, but is that I don't know? There are I definitely had the album that was assumed. Yes, yes, but you know, God, I think, well, something I was going to say about culture, I feel like being part of this evangelical school church camp situation held me back from culture anyways that I will never forgive, yes and never forget. Instead of reading like fucking cool authors, I was literally reading a book called redeeming love, not a prostitute who decides she accepts the Lord and then like is worthy of marriage. And I was like, had this crush on this really Christian guy, and so I used to take it to school and like try and get him to see that I was reading it. I would make it likely, Um, he's because he loved God, yes, and would love you because you love exactly. And I can't actually think of a more boring person than this person. But I was like, heartbeat, were you about to say what he's doing he kept up with him, or we don't have to talk about about it? No, no, no, no, But I think he's doing this. I think he went fully into it. Oh he went fully into it. Oh God, it's so interesting. I have it forever fascinating. I think like adolescent religion backgrounds. Religious backgrounds are as captivating to me as like pant shooting stories, because it's so everyone sort of has one, and and I will listen to anyone's story about like their religious upbringings, because I I this might be unfair. I do want to say I I kind of feel the same way about myself, Like I missed out on a lot because I was just like obsessed with the social aspect of church, your group and chip and like I could have been reading I don't know, Chaucer, you know, like yeah, or even just like finding things earlier that like Bright Eyes, like I found later because I was like, I've been reading the Bible, Like now I want to cry. Now I want to be angry. And I'm too old to like this. But don't worry. I like it. You like it, don't You're not too old to like Bright Eyes? Because I want to go see Kasey mass Graves at the North Side Festival last year and who for her? But fucking Connor Oberst and people people turn out for Connor. People still love Connor. And it was like a bunch of forty year olds and I was like, oh yeah, everyone, this is like a like we're growing up with Connor. Oh my god, I mean he's huge. The thing about religion as a child is it's very You have literally no say in the matter. So you could literally like nature verse nurture or whatever in your nature. You could be like not about what you are subjected to. But if your parents are deciding that this is what's going to happen, you have to sit with that for years and like and also like I have friends that have found their own kind of religion as adults, and I think we all kind of do that, even if it's not a church. You find the things that you treat religiously, you feel spiritual about, you find the things that you respond to. So it's just fascinating that like we're still kind of we're still going to do this thing around the world, obviously to different degrees, but where we just take our kids and indoctrinate them into these things that they didn't find and maybe would never have found. Well, what's interesting too is my parents didn't really make me be a part of it. My dad's actually Jewish Cohen. My mom raised this like gently Catholic because that's what her mom wanted. But then when I was in I was going to all these Christian schools because they were like the best schools quote. And then I found all these friends who like tricked me into going to church, and then I became obsessed, and then it was like the cool thing. It was social thing, it was purely social, and but then brainwashed me into thinking like I was bad and shameful and you thought thoughts, oh, I was the horniest bit. Yeah, because like I had to just tame it forever, and it was so fucked up that I thought it was bad to feel that way. Oh my god, it took so long remaining love. There's so much shitty Christian cultural like music and books that's just like horrible. I want to write a sequel, Redeeming Love that's about the prostitute falling back into sex work and like feeling. Yeah, I'll tell you in a sequel to Love is reclaiming my time, recliming my time. I'm reclaiming my time, and you have reclaimed thank you. I'm trying. Yeah, god, because now you get to be horny as much as you want. I am all that and you are horny and that's okay. Oh my god, Oh my god. Can we talk about really quick? I think you on Mouth Time is so funny. My Mouth Time the Reductor's podcast. Um, listen to the Patty Harrison episode. It was so god damn funny, and it's you and Rachel w it's co hosting. Rachel is the funniest in the world. I had no idea. I didn't really know her before I went into guest host. I mean no we're definitely friendly, but I was like, holy shit, well is that podcast a yeah, somebody should. We had her on the show, and then everyone was reaching out about how how much fun I had listening to it. Um, and then I was like, it was so funny because we're so used to how funny she is now we literally were just fucking crushing mc donald's the whole episode, just like shooting Grew. That episode is called Grew household thing. Well, I have to say, we have a monthly show it used to bees Now with Davison called Game Show, and we keep trying to make Grew a part of it, and it like gets middling results. I think, I think, you just keep doing this is only the second this is only the second show you've done, and people are like, people don't understand and think it's basic. I think if you do it, do it one more time and one more show, and then it's officially a pattern, and then people will start like, oh, we gotta go to Game Show so they can do grow, and they can do grow and maybe they'll understand what it is if we keep doing it exactly. But it's like the Gong and the Gong Show exactly. Um. But Patty's episode of Mouth Time. Um, God, you have this one line that I replay over and over where you guys talk about speaking of religion and speaking of your quote earlier about most Americans being Equannox members. True. I think Patty Patty was talking about how she's so Patty is playing this expert on slaves as the s l E I G H slaves um, and she says how there are Christian slaves and there are secular slaves and so um. But then Patty also says, but the thing is a lot of people in America are a Christian and then Catherine goes, in Amernica, most people are christ job in Amernica, most people are Christian. So iconic, it's so funny. I have a question for you. So we haven't we actually haven't really gotten into this with any guests, but we're having a horny conversation. So I want to get even horn here. I want us all to leave with rock card penises tonight. I am slipping off. I want you to slide right off and then like you literally slide out the building and we go, No, that's what I want today. I think we all pictured it in ever of your own secretion. Who made you the horny? Who in the media did you say? Oh my god, I'm so love. That's such a good question because who did it for you? Oh my god, Josh Hartnett. Now, oh my god, Hartnett. But you know who, I'll say who it was for me? While you think Chad Michael Murray. Do you remember how fucking red nipples? Never did it? They're so red and big. No, I don't know Chad Michael Murray. And it's not for me. Not for me. I've always been like, I like nerds, So who do you love? Even did it for me? But the thing also is that I used to watch the o C on my mini TV, which was the size of my hand while I worked on my seventh grade science for a project which can start ready for this, which I made up remover works the best, and I was hot glue gunning. I'm watching sobbing fucking love. It's on Hulu. No, I think we've talked about this because I was watching the Best of the ret and it ended and then they just started playing the sting and I was like, oh my god, how do they know exactly what I wanted? They know their audience. The algorithm. The o C is what I credit with giving me good taste of music. Bet those soundtracks, listen to them, They're amazing. They have all the hits. Did you do you have Spotify account? I have Spotify. Here's the thing with Spotify is that they have and I'll get to Spotify a little bit later. Yes, I don't know. He might have something might come after Spotify, but no, here, here's some here. Here's the thing. So Spotify has this podcast called show Stoppers where they talked to like music supervisors, supervisors on TV shows, and they talked to her name is Alex Pistavus. She music supervised not only the o C but Grey's Anatomy. Like she like picked songs out and paired them, like she picked Chasing Cars out and like paired it with that, like she yes, Annaly and then she also chose um imagine heap for I made these moments and she just kind of talks about like, yeah, I mean I just picked it out. It seemed like she's so casual about it, and she's like people talk about Gray's Anatomy is like the show that like put music out but then hallelujah, oh my god. Yeah. Also the theme song. That theme song really had no right, but it became icon Planet and Phantom Planet was also big in the nineties, and they were on the Sabrina the Teenage which sounds track. And guys, I gotta say it all holds up. It all holds up. It's like a slightly better lit or a slightly better um uh, my own worst enemy. It's a slightly better sugar. I say, oh, well, here was another one back back back when he had like a normal human face, Mark McGrath. I used to Yes, he would love him. He was hot and a friend of ours, a friend of ours. Sister, No, we have a friend of ours and I will not say because that would that would say who she was. But the sister fu whe where she's croopy. I can never swing that. I sometimes tried, like hanging out. I would hang out for certain people. I don't know how. No, I can't be that cool, you know. But whatever I would hang out for, like Anderson Cooper, I'd be had like a C three six. Hi, you were great. No, I'm just kidding. Well, apparently he lives in a haunted like fire. Yes, you know, I walked by all the hunted spots. Yes, all the fire. You are dodging the question what you haven't said? Who may do? Horny? I've kind of answered with Zeth Cohen and with Mark McGrath, but but you haven't said your own thing. Okay, okay, oh god, um leo, don't feel on the spot. Well yeah, I mean, like, I like was as obsessed as anyone else was. But um no, um, you know you know who did it for me? Who does make Steamy counter? Or does Eric Dane counter? Or is that Eric Dane definitely counts? And you were just a little bit older when you got money. Yeah, I just remembered my true one. Okay, what's true? It's so true, Ashton. Do you know that I cut out pictures of him from magazines and glued them to my camp trunk. Oh wow, that's that's and this is that seventies show Ashton? Yeah, so like, yeah, reeveruned he's a big nose. No no, no no, no, here, no, this is the number one. Sean William Scott was number one. Oh Sean William Scott because he was loved him, because he was on the cover of like Tiger Beat or something, with his hands in his pockets and no shirt on, and it was like like a Marilyn Monroe sex symbol moment for you, Like this is the most Yeah he was he. I loved him too because he very much represented the thing that like Long Island tells you to like, which is muscles. He had muscles. Yeah, And like I don't know, I think Chad Michael Murray was like more my inner body say, this is really what you like the man? Yeah, there you go, there you go. But also I also like, oh, boys, yes, can we talk about this song? It's so good and the video have you seen the video? Yeah, so many different kinds of boys. Is that the fat Jewish? Yes, that's the one. It's the one thing about it that's like, oh come on, it's it's like the line and Woman by Kesha where she says we've we just can't have nice things. Just take one thing off. It's what Cocos does before you leave the how to take one thing off? Oh I remember, It's a good. Yeah. I don't know. I used to be obsessed with like looking at your books from my middle school and all the cool older kids like how does it did you have a quote? Oh? Um, yeah remember it? Yeah? Because I just was home in Houston I looked at my eighth grade year book and it was tomorrow is another day? And right, what who carow is another day? Let you know what was it? Maybe from that song tomorrow It's just another days? So I'll wake up plan mega remember that song? Speaking of songs like Go Go, I was just that reminds me of the Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack was my absolute number one. We just gasped in unison. That movie is far ahead of its time. Do you guys that the woman who did vocals for as Josie quote unquote was the same. It was the same the band from Ten Things I Hate About You on the roof that was that? Not for nothing but knockoff? It's her Wow letters to Cleo? Yeah, okay, what's the what's the oh? I love? Don't you just pretend to be yes? Could you at least fit send to be nice? Oh my god, been around, come back? So I used to just takes just daydreaming of being in a talent show and singing those songs and finally the guy in the crowd would be like but instead it was like no bit for like eighteen years. But wait, did you also know another shady thing about Spotify is they don't have that album nothing. Spotify doesn't have that album. Spotify thing does nothing that you have to just like really be be resourceful at me. Also, the movie is so good and just when when Parker Posey runs in at the end and she goes and she's like dressing them down, like she goes yeah because you know, and she's just like her like her like choice of the way she says the words, I'm just so funny. When she first meets the girls, she's like, welcome to your party, like just so sky cookie great, like she was giving like little kids like us, like who Like I hadn't seen Best in Show like at this point, yeah that came. I didn't. I didn't see waiting for graffing, Like I didn't know who Christopher Guest was and I was like, who is this crazy actress? But she was so good giving you everything you wanted, but didn't know you want dream dream you know what. I think all three of us are destined to play that kind of role and inspire a little faggot child and yeah, chunky chick, Katherine wait, I just want to talk really quickly about your songwriting process. So if you guys haven't seen Katherine's work, what she does on stage or her show The Twist. She's gorgeous. Um god, what a title. It's best. It all gets me every time. Um like okay, So Katherine sinks her own original songs. It's this gorgeous cabaret style thing, like sort of review asque shows that fair to say, ye, talk to us about these original songs that you write. And sometimes with Henry, Yeah, like what like, what's your what's your process with that? I wake up in the middle of the night, I guess and I think it's time. It's time to tell my story. Um no, I will sit. I will schedule time with Henry, incredible musician, just we all know the best. He's out there touring your up right now. The picture follow him and she putures of his little Italian boyfriend he made, Yes, Claudio, Claudio, is this real? Yeah? They're they're they're they've separated since. But yeah, he's going to be so mad at me for saying I don't care to leave it. I'm the queen of like an international affair. Well yeah, oh wait, I want to hear about that. So Yeah comes over the house and she says with Henry, and yeah, I just I basically just write a bunch of lines and songs, and I started singing what I think it might sound like. And then Henry is like, what vibe do you want? And I'm like Mariah carry and then he'll just launch into it, and then I just sing over it and then it comes fast like when it's I feel like when it's a good song, right away, it's just like, oh, this is amazing. So then what comes first? Is it like the hook? Is it like the music first, or is the lyrics or is it both at the same I write all the lyrics and then the music okay, and then the music comes after the lyrics. That's great. Sometimes, yeah, I'm sure it's not always that way. Yeah, it's it's always different. But I feel like if we if we're obsessing over a song for too long and it's not feeling like exciting, we both have to be like, it's not your darling and will not be right because you feel like you're not laughing at it. Or Okay, I want to think it's funny. Musical comedy could be so cheesy and shitty, and I don't want to rising and I want it to be really specific and really personal. And so yeah, there is such a weird fine threshold between like what's what's successful as musical sketch comedy and what's just like pretty running the milt. I mean, it's so easy because Henry and I will just start laughing really hard if it's good, and if we won't, then we go to the song. That's that's the same thing. Like, there was a song we're working on once that it was so stupid. I don't remember the hook, but there was a line that was like should I eat old fruit? All the way for that line we were hanging on because I was just Henry and I were just crying. Developed that as soon as you laugh, that's the that's how you know, Like like that's that's how you know, Like when Matt would bring in a song for popul Lett meetings and the room will just die. Yeah, you have to you guys. Know guys, this is a lost deep cut um from popular one of this never happens. It's called open Should I do it? Do it? I know? I know the lyrics. Al Right, it goes somebody come open this job, Come over this job on me, somebody come home with this job. If you do then drinks on me. I can not open this jar. I have weak rest. Somebody come over this job. I really needs to eat. And then someone would come out and they would try to open the jar and they couldn't do it, and I was just like, well, thanks for trying. Why would they would leave the stage and I'd be like so bad. It would just it would happen like three times, like you know, a sketch. It didn't happen because we would do this thing where the group would get together at the end of like the writing months that we would have and we'd vote in secret on the things that we all wanted to do, and it never just it just never earned the votes, just like just like Mitch McConnell didn't get the vote. Right. Maybe I'll maybe I'll do a little one and I'll put open this job. Are in it? Watch like when you sit down with Henry and you come with these amazing melodies on top of like incredible comedic material, and I'm like, Okay, so here's what I want to do. Openus stock com opens job for me, because you know how you can't open jars. So that's like how shallow my communic sensibility is it's an observation. It's an observation. And should I? Should I eat old fruit? That is a real I want to see that one revisited. I wonder what the hook was that it'll come to me and talk about you know, like maybe I'm not getting you suggestions obviously, but right about the mold, right about the container, you know? Yeah, it was like old fruit shoot off, fall out of a jet plane? What's the song that you guys? You guys were doing it and I literally had to come in because I was laughing so hard. I usually like sclude myself to the next room. And I love the vibe of rehearsing at your place, Yeah, because I'm like, okay, my and then like like they'll be doing it and I'll come in and I'll be like obsessed, Wait, no, what's the best? What's what's the one? The one is that on my butt? I love it? But I'm not talking about that. Was it the equinox one? No? On the street? Look at me? Oh? I do love look at me? That's my favorite? Yeah? Can you sing a little bit of that? Yeah? Boy, he's never wanted to kiss me, so now a do comedy? Look at Me? That's look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me. I love that ship. It's so good. I mean this hook that Katherine wrote, um when you Oh yeah, it feels good. Yeah, you guys, it's so good. You guys have to see the show. One is the next one. I don't know the exact date. Follow me on Twitter. Al Right, So it's at the Duplex, which I feel like it is like a home for us. All. Oh yeah, I love it. Feels so grateful to have discovered Thomas is the best. Everyone who works there is a dream truly and talented, and the space is just like it transports you to a different sme. Follow Catherine on Twitter to find out an Instagram to find out when the show is. Also also also follow Henry because you have to go to watch Henry. When he plays, Henry will be in the piano bar of the Duplex and you can get up there and sing and he does it a lot, you guys. So if you're in New York or visiting New York, and even if Henry is not there, just going down to the Duke Plex. It's such a fun time and it's history and its history. Barbera performed there John Rivers performed there, yes, all of them, um and uh and yeah, if you want to run into us casually. Most of the time were there at the we're chilling, We're hanging with Henry during his you know, open mic nights. It's so fun. We went through the night after the election. Everyone was so sadid. It was like the one beautiful thing that came out of that night. Oh my god. Yeah, we did go there the night after the election. But that's but an Aaron Jackson and Matailane led everybody in a group sing along to little Town from Beauty the Beast and it was the most joyful fucking thing. So I mean, yeah, just catch us there. If you want to catch us, I'll tell you where. Okay, let's um quickly read the users submitted Rule of Culture. Okay, yes, so so now we've started doing, um so doing users submitted rule of Culture. And this is a really good one. This is a really good one, especially and you know what topical for this episode. This was submitted by Lynn Schmidt, and we thank you Lynn for submitting this. This is rule number one hundred and three. No, your Katherine's know you're Katherine's and she's specifically specified Katherine Hahn, Katherine O'Hara, Katherine oh and Katherine Keener. And this is good because we have Katherine Cohen soon will join their r honor to join the ranks of those three incredible Catherine. And there's of course Katherine Heigl. We have of course Mrs McCluskey on Desperate Hospitife, Katherine Juice then yes the past rest in peace um and many of Katherine Deneuve, famous French actress. I know so many Catherine. I know so many great Catherine's. And that is so nice because growing up, as you know, there's the chain or maybe Katherine's plus sizes. Oh no, at least in Houston, there is a chain of Katherine's plus sizes. My brothers will be like, look it's you. Like that was obviously my heel. So I was like, no, Katherine is a beautiful and regal name that I love. Yes, it's actually one of the best names because it's timeless no matter no matter how you spell it. Yeah, exactly, I do love the way that you spell it. I think without the Y is best, and I like what I like with a C. I think it's sort of like sentenced to see is classical, K is a little too modern, you know now, I do like both, but you know, but I but I love a good no end. Listen, if you're out there listening to this and your name is Catherine with a K, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know about you, and um, we can hash this out online. Let me know. Yeah, by all means um attack us, attack come at me, that us come at meat. But Lyn Schmidt number one and three, No, you're Catherine. I think that's true because I just watched I Love Dick. Yes, she's so good. It's incredible, and Kevin Bacon is amazing and the whole thing. Shout out to Phoebe Robinson so much. She shouted about that show on the pod when she was on, and I actually hadn't heard much about it yet, but everyone's saying it's great. I'm gonna watch the book. Is I've never read the book. You got to read the book, you got to see the show. It's part of just this feminist It's just it's part of the meat why And I didn't realize that the book was this classical, classical, but it's just this like it's a staple that thank you. That's it's great. Yeah, and um, it's all these letters that she wrote to this to this guy that she was obsessed with, and the show is great, Like it's so stylized. Is is it a comedy? It's technically a comedy, but it's just like, oh, it's like one of those the show sent me into a place. It's like it's but it's intense. But I think it's like they were sort of like positioning it as a comedy weirdly. You know. Yeah, there's some moments, but the whole thing is like there's a big Texas sky and it's always like and you're just like, yeah, yeah, Texas. Yeah. So you must have been like, oh that was me in the background. I wish I would love to be involved. I would love to. Can you stream all episodes? Oh so it's one of those okay, cool? And I think there's the brothers. No, no, no, he's another one. He's he's one that you don't really want to funk, but then you want to watch him, you know, the one on Transparent he's hot, and the and the other I like the other one, older, nerdier one. Like I used to think it was so like brave of me to be like I want a nerdy guy and I don't care about muscles, and it's like everyone's like, yeah, those are hot, guy. I'm secretly attracted to fun boys. So I think that, like, that's why that's why I like him in the show, because he's such a boy on that show. But I also only only watched the first season. It really is. I watched it and I was like, see, it just lost me a little bit. It didn't grab me. Like this season of The Bachelorette. Now, okay, are you guys watching? You are? I made you watch? I watched who won? There's no winner yet, but there's a final three I just can't and tonight tonight. So this week, you guys, well the men tell all. Here's the thing. The episodes are each seventeen hours long, and I'm like, what is so long? And you're either down for it or not? That was actually how I feel. For Like, we were watching the one from last week where they all go to Spain and met Rachel's parents last night, and like god, it was just like it felt like a when he had gone by, and I was like, we're almost done with this, right, And it was like thirty. It was like halfway done into like an eighty eight minute show, and I was like, no way, no fucking way. And so I mean I like it. It's good television. Um, I want to say, Brian is horrible. I'm team what's his name? Do you like? Eric the silver Fox or no? Eric is not the silvermore? Eric is um Eric Baltimore and Eric Baltimore and then Peter he's from Medicine, Wisconsin. I like Peter a lot, but he's also stoic and like to aloof and Rachel does not need that. Well, Eric straight out told her that he was in love with her. And then they went to the fan of the fantasy fantasy fantasy, which means they banged, and also the next day and then they looked like two people who had had a really good time banging. Okay, and then and then what happened? What was this whole? I only saw like the little bumper in between the commercials, Like what did he say that made her cry? Peter told, well, this is I think Rachel's being a little ridiculous. And let me know what you guys think about this. So what does being engaged mean? Being engaged means that you will get married. Being engaged doesn't mean like it's a more serious form of dating. Like being engaged, you get engaged because you're going to get married. Peter doesn't want to get engaged. And Peter's like, I'm not ready to get down on one knee and engaged. Could be engaged to you because I feel like, while I am falling in love with you, I want to do that one time for real, and I don't feel that I'm in that place. But we can get there if you hang with me and choose me. And she is like, see, I don't see engagement like that. I want to be engaged by the end of this process. And I think what she's doing is she's combining. She's combining like like she's comparing everyone, and some of them, I think, are crazily in this place where they're willing to say I want to get married to you right now, I'm in love with you. It's just bizarre when the courtship is like synonymous with the engagement, right, Yes, it is weird anyway, No, I saw that clip and I was like, Rachel, please, it just feels like I've been with her every step of the way, and now for her to say something like that. I'm just kind of like, are you saying that because the show is putting pressure on you because obviously they want an engagement so they can then air the wedding, etcetera, etcetera, Like, is that what's going on here? Or do you genuinely believe this? And if so, is the fact that the show wants this making you throw away the best guy for you, who I think is Peter? Okay? Also, it could just be a fully produced, your engineered moment and they just really acted. But she was crying. I mean, is she a fucking Academy Award winning actress? She she cries, and she she looks great while she cries. She certainly does look great. Do you are you watching it? HPJ? I just watched and I feel nothing the same. I'm like, I feel my brains rolling out of ears, but honestly kind of like it. It's just so easy to and it doesn't make me anxious, Like literally, my thing is everything makes me anxious, Like I was like watching mad Men behind a pillow, Oh my god. M For more Bachelor coverage, listened to the Forever Dog podcast Fresh Batch, hosted by Michelle Collins, friend of the show. I am obsessed with her. She's so fantastic as a fan. I mean, I don't know, you don't know her personally, but if you want to know her and meet her, she'll be out. I don't think so, honey. I love culture. There's that plug we needed before the next segment. It's on my birthday. Are you gonna come? I'm going to be out of town. Yeah, but I will say that the first one was the not kidding, best night of my life. It was the most magical, joyous community celebration. We're very proud of it, and we're going to have a great fucking time. Go on your fucking ticket fly or whatever it is and buy tickets. You can get them. I believe it's ten dollars in advance, going to be twelve at the door or something like that. So August eleven guys are gonna be open at seven. The shovel started eight guys, amazing people like Michelle Bouteau, Michelle Colins, Broadway people like Joel perez Um. Yeah and so so people were reaching out to us saying that the ticket links that it was sold out. But they've just released a new batch of tickets which means that, um, you know, tickets are kind of scared, so get on that. Here's the thing. You will have fun if you come to the show. It'll be so fun. So there you go. You will be over. You will get testimonial from Kathco. Okay, here we go, and now it's time from it's time for I don't think it's time for. I don't think so honey. I don't think so honey. Is of course the segment which that show was gonna be based on. It's one minute that we take two rail against something in culture that's really it's just not right. So there's something that right about it, and we take a minute to dress it down. Now, I believe Bowen has one, and we alluded to it several times. Okay, I'll start, So is that okay that you started? Absolutely? Okay, Wow, this is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so honey. And as time starts now, I don't think so honey. My Spotify Discover weekly playlist for thinking I am basic gay trash. Do not keep putting the same Raja Mini, I'm first fucking Nina Flowers trash tracks. I don't want to listen to Willem saying over a shittily produced beat, I contain multitude Spotify, I listened to too much fucking Blood Orange and mit Ski and you know Wax the hatchie to for you to judge me like this, I judged by Spotify. I'm gonna say it, Spotify, you're judging me, and I am not that girl, Okay. I am a deep musically cultured motherfucker. And if you don't put more indie inspired tracks on I Discover weekly, I'm going to sue you for defamation of character, for character assassination. Honey, to quote Taylor Swift, another artist who my life, but I am not enamored with in the way that you think I am. By putting Selena Gomez Spotify, it's not gonna happen. That's one minute. I'm not. It's not gonna happen with me and Selena. Okay, there you go. Here's the thing. They wouldn't be on the list if you weren't listening to things that alluded to those things. It's so I'm sorry they are. They are smarter than you. I'm listening to rue Haul and so Spotify things that I like, all the drag queens, and because you will No, I don't, I promise you. I fucking hate Willam in Alaska and fuck you don't like Alaska's music. I like Alaska music, I don't. I don't like when it's William Alaska and Courtney and Courtney act like doing their American apparel girls thing. I'm like No. As an avid follower of Bowen's playlist, I will say that he has so many layers. I have so many layers. Thank you so much. I just want to thank Spotify for nailing it every time with me. If you get it right every time, my Spotify for you playlist is really dead on and um, thank you so much. Spotify. If you like to sponsor to the podcast, don't let what Bowen just said turn you. Some of us aren't as a more professional, some of us aren't just one dimensional. This is Matt Rodgers. I don't think so many as Peter Smith said this roller Coasters started and we are honest. I was gonna say that Matt Rogers, I don't think so. Hony time starts now. I don't think so Honey of the doctor who prescribed me antibiotics for for bronchitis, which is a virus. Listen, I listened to you because you have a I assume medical degree, But then I didn't feel better. In fact, I felt worse and I'm still coughing, bitch, I don't think so, honey. Why would you put me on a Z pack a powerful antibiotic for something that And maybe you guys can reach out to me if you have a fucking doctorate and like let me know what the this is, because I feel worse. And why would you prescribe an antibiotic which is to treat bacterial infections, yes, for something that is a virus. I mean you said I trusted you. I trusted you. I trusted you. I look too in your eyes and you said you patted me on the back and you made jokes to me. I praised you on this podcast for your humor. Well I take away that price today because you have made me sick. You have made me cough. And it was anxious up at Montreal because I had a performance and I was cough, cough, cough, And I don't think that I still cough. Okay, well, Matt, here here's the thing not to you know, not to plug. Another Forever Dog podcast, but Relatively Healthy, hosted by Jennie Stoler and Ellen Stoler. But absolutely to plug them, absolutely, to plug them. Um, we can call them up and ask them, but I think I think I will call that. You know, I will say last summer I had a cough thing and it just lingers. That's just what they do, is what it happens. If you want to go out and live your life, you have to listen to that's horrible. I mean, I know, I mean the thing is like it just made me nervous because I thought I was going to get better. And then of course I had this like high stakes performance. Well I have to use my full voice, and I was like Jesus Christ, I just I was just irritated. But your voice sounds great. Thank you. Did not hold you back. It didn't held me back, thankfully. But it was like a nightmare situation where I was like, oh God, like, of course this of all week, that's how it always goes. But the adrenaline takes you to the top. There you go. Maybe I should just be prescribed adrenaline. Maybe I should just be prescribed life. Maybe I shouldn't even ever go to City m D. Maybe I don't need all this. Okay, Now I have a theory as to why they prescribed you antibiotics anyway, even though they knew it was Yeah, you got into this little bit, laz night. What did you say? Because I think it's just not a prophyloxus, but it's just like that, it's preventing it from becoming from being compounded by something that. But here here's the thing called eight four four stole our x to leave a message for the relatively healthy hotline. I think I will. Maybe we'll have some crossover. We'll have some crossover. Um, okay, cath Cows. This is Catherine's. I don't think some, honey, I think so. What was your The one that you did at the show was about women's women. Yes, oh, I could do a whole other hour on that. And and that is actually on Spoke. Yeah, us un Spoke, the app Spoke that Spoke. It's sponsoring the show. It's sponsoring us. They're great friends of ours, Your Serious Exam. It's their new app and their Discovery app for podcasts. Yeah, and they put Katherine Cohens. I don't think so, honey, live on that. And now we're about to hear another one right here. This is Katherine Cohen's. I don't think so, honey, and her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. When I look at my iPhone and the sun reflects off my iPhone and directly into my eyes. No, Apple, no my eyes. You need to change the phone. You need to change the sun. Change the way it goes right into my eyes. I send out a tweet when I'm walking down the street. I look, I want to refresh for lights. I want that rush, I want to need it important. And all of a sudden, the light blinds me right in my own eye and a bit. You know, honey, that I have migraines with a visual aura by right lights. So I shine with lights. I wear sunglasses inside if I need to the migraines. So I don't want to look at my phone to see if I booked George or if he finally texted back. Oh, we have the sun herself. He's shining me right back in the eyes. The gun should go down earlier. I don't like the heat. I don't like the summer. Oh I've ever done in a bikini? Is song? Time for fall? Take the sun down? Apple, fix it? Oh my god, that's one minute. Change the sun. Change the sun migrains with a visual aura. Oh my god, I mean, what a beautiful tapestry of words. There was amazing, it was, it was athletic. Well, I think that goes in the Hall of Fame. That was That was a Hall of Fame performance, and we thank you for it. I'm honored. I mean it's something I feel really passionate. How many times a day does that happen to you? It happens a lot. Which is like either it reflects into your eye and there's the glare, or the brightness doesn't go up high enough in the sun. Yeah. I try and go off for a jog. I try and be good to myself. I want to change the song. No, I'm blinded for a full minute. You can never win without or with jogging, or with jogging or with our visual auras in our migraines. Never. It's never happened to me, you know. I get migraines because I'm incredibly sensitive. So do you get them the kind of one where you have where you you start to feel coming on and you're like, guys, gotta go. Yeah. I'm like a woman who needs to be by the sea, like I need to like take my time. A woman who needs to be or by a lake. Rule number seventy nine of culture. Some women need to be by the sea to heal, to heal. Um. This is such a great episode. I love you guys so much. You are dream I seriously, I am. I listened to everything so I know so much about you and all the guests, and I'm going to say that I love all the guests. Oh my god. And now and now you joined the Pampion and I'm so excited for you guys to be in the Turner Master's Memory Housepital. So I'm going to plug. It is a narrative fictional podcast, six episode absurd comedy theories, written by myself and my love Stephen Marco. Yes, I love that plug. Limited series, honey, you know what limited series not onl Big Little Lies. Will there be just as much drama? I think that there willlation about season two. I think that there will. There's a lot of finger wagon going on right now. Will there be Riese Wetherspoon puking up green? Oh wait? I almost for a second forgot about that scene. Oh yeah, amazing, it's everything. Somebody I was talking to recently was like that was crazy in the finale when she puked up green. I was like, that wasn't the last episode, but if it had been the last, the show would have been. I don't need that whole beautiful last sequence. I've been staring into the ocean. Okay, we love you so much, Katherine. Where can they find you? On so so that they can go to the cats Cohen at Katsa Cohen. There you go. I do the Instagram Twitter that all gag for it. So listen. UM, my name is Matt Roger and this is I don't think so honey. Thank you so much. Oh my god, wow, I mean that's crazy. I guess you guys should come to the show. I really messed up. Yeah, okay, O god, I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. We're still going, We're still filming. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsay, and Brett Bom. For more podcasts, please visit forevor Dog Productions dot com

Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey in 
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