Explicit

"Here's Good Thing!"

Published Sep 9, 2020, 10:00 AM

Bowen and Matt are back together again for a much needed culture catch up! They take their time breaking down ALL their feelings about the new live action Mulan that just dropped plus other Disney adaptations they have enjoyed! Also a look into who they think will be coming back to the Beverly Hills housewives. They're also very apprehensive for the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and can't wait to see how these Mormon housewives live their lives! And of course they talk about the new HBO documentary-series The Vow. Again, this was a MUCH NEEDED CULTURE CATCH UP!

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Look mad oh, I see you? Why and look over there? How is that culture? Yes? Goodness, let's ding dong culture race is calling. Oh you know, I was just remarking to the non video participants on this zoom and I I had remarked that you and I have not really spoken to each other in several days, and I think that's good because it's sort of like we're, you know, saving the pop culture load up. You know, we're doing the no fab community reddit, you know, sort of philosophy of just um, you know, edging ourselves until we see each other. I mean, really, what we're gonna be doing here is catching up in real time. And also, let's just be fair to each other and say that we did spend a solid week together just the week before we did. We did so we were enjoying separate labor day weekends, and that's okay. How do you feel about um? Like Accordian cadence in friendships where it's like I see you a lot, a lot, a lot for a concentrated amount of time, and then I give you your space or you ask for space from me, or if I'm getting you too much space, you go, hey, you're giving me too much space, come back, come back. I feel like you and I have like this built in cadence around talking all the time with this podcast. But what do you what do you make of that? Well, let's just say I'm never worried about seeing you or corresponding with you because you are constant in my life, and I'm never feeling like, um, why the fund hasn't Boone texted me. I'm never angry. I'm always just like, oh, I'll check in with her. And also I don't feel like it's been that long. It hasn't. It's been like four days. But I'm sort of like, uh, thinking about, like, you know, in the extremes, like if I don't hear from you for let's say two weeks, that when I think right, right, right, But then I think, oh, but I saw Matt every hour of every day for you know, the four days before this two week period. I would think, you know, maybe this is healthy. I'm not. I don't know. I'm just kind of like thinking in terms of, um, what a healthy rhythm to a friendship could be. Well, you know, I believe it was Mariah Carrey who once said, while so obsessed with me, boy, I wanna enough you know what is an incredible song and I'm just gonna I'm gonna really support my sister and gas up my sister here. But one time, Matt Rogers, we were in the green we were in the green room for a show at ECB. I forget what show it was. I know it was popular. That's amazing Earth, amazing Earth. But this tune just came to you and I had to record it. Should I perform it? I think you should perform it? And what's well, well, I don't think you need to sort of introduce it and or just set up the title or anything. I think you can just sing it. No, this is what the song is. Okay, ready, He's a little obsessed with me. He's a little obsessed with me. He's a little obsessed than me in the morning and night. He's a little obsessed with me. When I say, all right, he's a little obsessed with me. He's a little obsessed with me. That's such such a good huck. I don't know why that song came to me, but I think maybe it was someone was acting a little obsessed with me, and I was like, he's a little obsessed with me. Yeah, good luck getting that ear worm out of your head, you readers. It's really burrowed its way in for me personally. All these years later, I think I was just you know, doing the dishes, and I thought he's a little that the interval of obsessed with me, Like, that's so good. I recently came up with a new song while Jared was playing video games? Do you want to hear what it is? Have I heard it? Well, maybe you heard it because he likes to sing it a lot. But um, Jared was playing video games, and I don't really play video games, as you know. I kind of just like either watch or do something else when people are playing video games towards me. Um, but I actually kind of just I sort of got this groove in my head and it became a hit song. It was I love the way he plays A love the way he plays A love the way he plays, love the way he plays, love the way he play And it really it never ends, so there's no more words. I love the way, I love the way he plays, and it's just he plays I love this. Yeah, it's really it's it's a very sexy song. Well, it's the way it please your man. It's the inverse of video Games by Lonald L. Ray. It's like she's saying about how she hates how she hates the way he plays those video games, and you you're the partner who's like, I love the way he plays, and fact you're so emphatic about loving the way he plays that you that's all you can really express in the song. Musically, Yeah, it's really very plain, and I think that Lana could learn a lot from me musically. I think, did you hear today she um? She did an interview with what's his face? With Oh, the guy who is really good? Um Bruno Mars Jack Antonov. Oh, yeah, it could have been um, the guy who is really really good. It's actually a really culture number. The guy who was really good could be either Bruno or Jack. But Lana Tolbi was doing this interview with Jack Antonof and I think it was published today, and she was like, despite her Grammy wins and like her record sales and all this, she's like, I will always be an underdog, which it feels like, it feels like I don't know about that. I would actually agree because I think that the reason why Lana del Rey can claim underdoghood, I think is because She's never going to be known as like a great singer or performer. She kind of relies on her um artistry, like she kind of relies on her songwriting and her musicianship. But the songwriting aspect is new. People are never going to think like, oh, you know, who's a gag every single time? Like knockdown, drag out Lana del Right. I think Lana del Right has like die hard fans, but I understand why she would claim underdog status. But I feel like a couple of things. I feel like it's a fairly recent development that everyone is universally like she's an incredible songwriter, which I think what she is. I think we can all agree despite what you what what reservations anyone has about Lana Um, you know, Norman fucking rock Well was it was a really really impressive achievement. Um. But this sort of like echoes. It has the same like subtext as when she back in June or late May was like kind of like low key dissing like all these black female artists being like I can't be a sexually realized person as in my musical persona the way that like Beyonce and Nikki and Rihanna and like and it's like, oh wait, like this is my thing. It's like if you were constantly in trining yourself in a victim and narrative, then like, is that is that good or bad? I'm just like I feel like I should just be very happy with the career, she said, And she's going to develop it. She's gonna build out even more, even though she's like she has all this like weird baggage now post post June. But like, yeah, I was, I think that in her life and her daily life, is she an underdog? No? I mean she's like a rich, white, gorgeous woman, so she's not an underdog. I think in terms of um her music and the way that she's perceived. I could see herself thinking that she's an underdog. And I can understand her saying that because I don't think she's like a huge, huge, huge commercial success or like she's her critical success. But I don't know. But this is this is my relative of it today. Yeah, okay, okay, my perception of it is I get wise, she says. I understand where she's coming from. Obviously, when you contextualize it with the way that she spoke about all those women like it's shitty. Um, but yeah, I also have to I have to be fully honest. I don't think of her that much. Me neither, but I really don't care. I am trying to synthesize all these like thoughts that I've had around like oh, like I don't know, I've just I've just noticed this thing now where people are like I'm trying to do it less than my life too, where I'm like woe is me, Like I'm having such a hard go of it, where it's like wait, like you should actually just yeah, it's lately I have, it's been. Maybe it's just because like in quarantine, you deal with all the same people again and again and again, and you deal with yourself every single day, day in and day out and day out. But I have a come really sensitive to to that mentality, like the like I'm just so tired of hearing people complain, like every and everyone can complain, but everyone can complain just like I'm also allowed to I'm allowed to be annoyed with it though, because and also I think I think people can be annoyed with me too, Like anything that I say, if you want to be annoyed you're entitled, it's quarantine whatever. I just think, like, you know, I guess it's because I'm friends with a lot of entertainment industry people are like whatever, but hearing concerns about like what's happening with the entertainment industry, I'm like, Okay, this doesn't really matter to me, like you know what I mean, it's just and Lana thinking she's an underdog is like I get a girl, but like also no, but okay, yeah, sure, okay, so it's okay, we're on the same page. That's good. Yeah, I mean I think that Lana is just hey, you know what you don't think of her? What I don't think of her? And then you know, what's another thing that bothers me sometimes, Like remember when we were talking about Wildest Dreams by Taylor and you were like, this is Lana Drag. I was like, oh god, I would never even think of Lana. But then what sort of There were some songs on folklore that were Launa Drag, but not too many. I feel like it was it was it was Taylor was doing Laana Dragon in different eras of Lana, which I think is fine. I mean, I still believe that folklore is fantastic, and it's fantastic, but but I feel like if there was Lanna Drag, it was happening on folklore and not necessarily, but that's how I feel. But here's the thing. We're dancing around the subject, and I think I know what the subject. We're dancing around it because I don't think either of us want to say how we felt about Mulan, but we're going to talk about it. We got to talk about it. There's a lot to talk about. Do you want to take the floor. So Disney released their latest animated to live action adaptation of one of their Golden Age movies, the Renaissance Movies. This time it was Mulan. And you know, they love to take liberties with things in the films to make them feel current and make them feel you know, just cool and and and and snappy and fun. I mean, you know, Jennie gets his dick sucked in Aladdin and the remake. That's wonderful. That's a new thing that we needed to see. I feel like Mulan was kind of just soulless. Unfortunately, some good performances, um great technical sort of achievement in the film itself, but as far as a as far as capturing sort of the reason why we as an audience love the original animated Mulan. Um. I felt the same way watching this version of Mulan the way I did when I watched the live action Aladdin, where I was like, oh, this just this just makes me want to watch you know, the source material. So that's like my that's like my like diplomatic, Like I don't even if that if that was diplomatic, that's just like my general feeling towards it. I would say you you were very um, you were very kind in that negative review, because I'm not going to be This movie was fucking garbage. Who was it for? It was for no one. It certainly wasn't for kids. It certainly wasn't for fans of the original. It wasn't for people who like good movies. It was for people who maybe love screensavers. It was for people who like It was for people who like to leave their Apple TV on and those Apple TV screensavers come on. They would love this movie Milan. Let's talk about the fact that they said cut the songs, add the sand, honey, there was there what the hell? There was one set piece this entire movie. It felt like just the sand I was shot, they shot and see young, which is like very controversial of them. Well then maybe they shouldn't have done it for that reason and the fact that it was born ring. It was just like there was a whole lot of nothing in this. Then let's talk about the characters. Mulan. So you took away her entire inner monologue because we didn't hear ship, because we didn't hear any of the songs, We didn't know what she was feeling. You took away all the humor and character of her. She was no longer a class that didn't fit in with the culture and the society that she was in. She was now just like had a power that she couldn't talk about. Her sister was a klutz and during the tea, during the tea pouring ceremony, she like has to save her sister instead of herself. Mulan was nothing. There was nothing to her character. It was literally like so ridiculous. And how do you pronounce this flu Uh? Yeah, Louie so always her lou is her last name. Yeah, but yeah, but that that's so you can you can the way you said, it's perfect lou perfect. Oh my god, you Feilu, the beautiful, glamorous actress who plays Mulan. She's fine. She can give you a single tear, that's for sure. She and also found out she is a singer, which made this even worse. But they took everything out of this that was fun to the point where it was like hard to watch. I'm sitting there like forty five minutes in, dehydrated with boredom. And this is still with Gongli slaying. Gongli is slaying in the film. She looks stunning. The cheekbones are sitting honey, that she looks absolutely perfect. She's giving you a performance with nothing. She plays this which character they made up for this movie, who didn't make any sense at all. And then spoiler alert, I'll give you a second to put to flip flip ahead, she dies and doesn't have to Yeah, yeah she did. She did not have to die. Like and also, I don't even get me started on the love story, which when you make this live action, makes no sense because the guy who's plays the love interest is coming on to her as a dude and presenting presenting sex. Yeah, but my toxic patriarchal thought around the love interest. He was great. I mean, you know, given the source and given the given the material, but he needed to be about six inches taller. He was the same heighth at Mulan. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This is so heteronormative. That's reductive. This is I know, and I'm and I'm owning up to it. I know. It's very it's very like women small man big. But like the chemistry was just was not there was not there between the two of them. Well, his performance was directed horribly because he comes in laying it on so thick that he wants to fun boy Mulan like. He's literally laying in the bed next to boy Mulan like making eyes like if anyone ever approached me and did these things, I would be sucking them in seconds if they look like that. Meanwhile, it's like, is he gay? Like? And then he comes over in the water. His body is pulsating with heat. He's so ripped and hot, and Mulana's like, leave me alone, and he's like dejected because literally the boy he wanted to fuck in the water turned him down, and that didn't make any sense. It made no sense. And then you find out that she is a woman when she comes back to battle with a full blowout, and he's like, actually, I actually we should trust her and I love her actually, and they have the hand grazing thing at the end. He doesn't even go back to the town, which is a good scene at the end of the movie. Yes, we were robbed. We were robbed of a scene where Mulan slices her hair off with the sword, which in you're not gonna do that. You're not gonna say, like, still, you can be a strong woman and have like this, this like non traditional hairstyle. You're gonna make her come back with an impossible blowout. Isn't that montage in the animated version so iconic? And they just skipped to the part where she like decides she's going to go to war, and then like cut, she's in the er and she's on the horse, and they like it's like, wait a minute, you skipped like such an important and like act break into the like in the movie where it's like, wait a minute, this doesn't like trapped And before I forget, separating the love interest with the general was such a dumb move because then it just removed the stakes from both of those characters. I mean there's just like why why does why do we care that? Like she like confesses to them what I do sort of I see what the movie was trying to do with um avoiding like the trauma of being outed, and she decides for herself that she's gonna like she's she's she decides she's going to tell people that she's a woman. Um, but I feel like there's no like I don't know, like none of it. It's there's no connective tissue from one moment to the next where she's like, I'm a woman. Um. I decided in the Sulfur Mind that I was gonna like be true to myself and like the loyal, brave and truth thing was called back nine thousand, seventy girl laying it on the thickest. It was just it was just I'm just like damn like Disney for some reason, like they can't get it right. I don't know if it's a miss Eger thing, but it's like all of these you haven't had one good live action remake except maybe what like Jungle Book, Like I didn't I heard his great I'm literally holding my breath for the Little Mermaids because it's just like it better be better than all this garbage because this Mulan movie, I'm telling you, like this sounds weird to say, but it was, like, you know, the reason that they split up the Leshan character into two was because they felt it would be inappropriate for her to have a like that, for for the sexual love interest to be her trainer, her boss, her superior. But it's like, guys, it wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. And I said, maybe I'll tell you what. You laid it on way too thick with this new character you've created, and that makes me feel like this feels insane to say, but this movie was two PC. It was like two concerned with like being received well that it was like literally not art. Also, the colors were so like oversaturated. It was bad. It was action, wasn't thrilling. No, we I watched it on a good TV and the menu went to menu and I set it up just right because I couldn't have been more excited to watch this when the trailer came out, like you know, we were so excited. It looked so good, and then you really realize, like this story does not work without the music and it really doesn't work when you throw in all these other complicating factors. And I'm not saying put Mushu in, you know what I mean. I understand why there's like no Mushu, no trickery, shenanigans, nothing like that, no animated characters, but you created so many complicators, Like can anyone describe to me in a sentence or two what the relationship between Gangli and Mulan was? What was that story? It was just like I've been ostracized to come with me. I mean, I'm not saying like it's it's truly it's so thinly applied. And Gongle deserved better. Even though she was the best part of the movie. She was by far the best part of the movie because she's one of the best actresses in the world. Famed Chinese bitch. She is the grand Diva, she is the bitch goddess of the world. And honestly, why was there Why couldn't she have just been the one antagonist? I know, I know, like who do we care about? Like the general, the leader of the other side. I gotta say, like, I just, I just we really got to give props to the original animated feature Hello it's so good. And after the movie ended, I watched one song from it, You'll You'll bring Her to Us all, and I was like, this three so so much better than that entire movie. And Make a Man out of You is just so such perfect. It's such a perfect vehicle to like show the audience that they're all getting better and they're all becoming competent warriors. And then like, I don't know, it's just it's just such a solid film. And my favorite favorite part that gives me chills every time I watch it is when um, you know she chases First of all, I think it's the best Disney villain death in all of Disney history, is when um, oh god, what's the general's name? It doesn't matter, um the leader of anyway, he like finally like chases her up to the roof of the of the Imperial Palace and then she all she has as a fan and he goes it looks like you're running out of ideas. She takes, He stabs her, He swings at her, she grabs the sword with her fan, flips it disarms him. It's like so well done, and it's like a thing of like, oh, she's weaponizing her femininity and like whatever, she's like using it to like disarm and then like he gets killed by fireworks, so fun, so like well executed. And then in this one it's like she kills the guy by kicking an arrow back at him. Girl on a construction site in the middle of this like desert. Yeah, this it sucked. And honestly, I was just like, you're waiting the whole movie for that amazing set piece at the palace, like that incredible battle. And before I was talking to Greta about them, who also hated it, she was like, I think that, you know, when she's swinging on the Chinese lamps, like maybe they didn't want to be insensitive. And I'm like, no, that is so annoying. Like I was like that, if that is it, then congratulations. The movie is way worse for wear because you you just extended the same set piece we've been watching for an hour and a literal half, but also not for nothing. But what what's insensitive about them? But having the final climax at the palace, I don't think that was it. And then they just got lazy. Yeah, put a bit in the sensitivity thing. What I do you want to say? Is also what gives me chills every time I watched the animated is when the entire like crowd bows to her and they're all they're all watching this chase sequence. It's like it's so thrilling. It felt like, you know, like an Avenger's like third act thing before that, before those were like, you know, commonplace in cinema. I was just like, oh, this is so fun. It's like a big like showdown, like with a crowd watching, like that's so cool. And then what the sensitivity thing? It's so funny because nobody bts was East Asian, I mean almost nobody. You had white writer's, white director, you know, white producers, and you're just like, oh wait, like who cares if you're insensitive? What's insensitive is that you shot this in sins young where like it's the sight of like a wild Chinese political firestorm, And it's like, why, I don't know, there's no sensitivity here that I don't We're giving them too much credit for thinking that it was insensitive for her to be like grabbing a Chinese lantern, which existed. You know, It's like I don't know that there's just so many tonal things that were wrong with the film. I hated how the film was basically the original animated feature up until the battle sequences were for at least like twenty minutes, it became Crouching Tiger Jr. For kids, And it's just like, oh wait, like you can't you gotta have an even mixture here. It can't be like, Okay, this chunk is where we make it like a fun war film and she's riding a horse with the blowout and then the rest of it is like a water down version of what we loved about the animated Future, where yeah, you're right, we don't hear her in a monologue. We don't know, we don't know anything about her. Yeah, like there's no like you know that she's got this ability and her dad says, tamper that down because people couldn't handle it. Well that now that you know, that's the case, Like that is her entire personality has a secret, which is not a personality, whereas the animated Mulan was you know, tom boyish and goofy and you know, not in her body when it came to you know, being the quote unquote perfect or you know woman that you could that you could the perfect bride. You know, she did not fit into the mold of being a woman of that time in that culture, and you got that very clearly, whereas this movie made deliberate choices to say, no, it's not that, it's just that she has a power which is really unclear. And then it's even more unclear later when Gongli the Witch is like, you're just like me, and and so now we're like, okay, is she just like her? Could she turn into like a burden ship? Like what exactly is going on here? And not for nothing? But all of this would have been easier to take had the movie just not been so dreadfully boring. And I don't understand what Disney thought they were fixing, like by making a Disney movie without humor or music, like when that was the touchstones of the original film. Yes, um, we should I should correct that. There was one ep William Kong. He's from Hong Kong, has worked on House of Flying Diggers and Crouching Tiger, and in an interview, the director Nikki Kara said he was the one who encouraged is me to consider non Chinese directors, which, well, he's wrong. I it feels like I don't. I don't know, and it's also just like okay, well then you're you're you're putting sort of the responsibility on this one person and sort of like shirking the blame by being like, oh, well, this is the one Chinese guy we had as an EP, like had the individual responsibility and the power to be like to make this okay, which is sort of flawed, but regardless of regardless of like whatever decisions were made, like what we have is what we see, and like, I'm sorry, but the movie started to sort of get better for me for a second when she took her hair out, took her armor off, and arrived back in battle with with coming straight from the dry bar, like without a vest and like able to kick everyone's ass. I was like, cool, So this is like bordering on camp now, so maybe this should have been camp from the beginning, which means like I don't know, include the songs like I don't get this, like weird minimalist, but not thing they're doing. The sets are so grand. It's Disney. You've got the best actresses um for these parts doing it like you have people that are able to do this, but you're you come se and Another thing is like, I don't know, if you've looked at all these reviews, I believe they bought good reviews. I don't think that any any film reviewer worth their salt could in good conscience give this a good review. I think they're giving it a good review because they know what a difficult time it is right now for the film industry, and they really need this to succeed. And I guess I hope it does. But it's a shame that this movie is what it is. But there's like a weird too big to fail notion that we're attounting to Disney, which is like we love Disney with you you and I love Disney, um, but it's it's just so interesting. I do want to shout out you know, rosslyn Chowan, you and um Zema. I mean there are there are, there are good performances in this film. I think it didn't hit because also you know this, like the relationship between Mulan and her father, that's like, that's like classic stuff when they sit after after in the original movie, in the animated movie, when she messes up at the tea spilling ceremonial, or like her test with the matchmakers, in the garden and her dad sits down next to her and says, you know, look at all these beautiful flowers are in bloom, and that one hasn't yet, but I believe that when that one blooms a little bit later than everyone else, it will be the most beautiful. And like, I'm about to cry. Yeah, that's such. It's book ended when she comes back home after everything presents him the sword in the medal and he doesn't even look at it, throws it aside and hugs or oh my god, and he's sitting there and I felt like, it's crazy, you literally had that source material map it out for you and still that that moment at the end didn't emotionally hit. I feel like the original the animated feature is I'm going to call it perfect, and I feel like they I feel like they took liberties and wanted and like sort of hubristically thought, well, we can try to modify and improve this. It's like you can't. It's you might just just just stick us. I mean they kind of just beat for being stuck pretty closely to it, but just hollowed out, like all the emotion except for the except for the battle sequence where the way that the way that she provoked the avalanche didn't even make sense. It made no sense. I was like sitting there, like what just happened. It's it's so perfect in the animated where she just like it's hopeless. They're all about to die. They have one cannon left. And then she like sees from the reflection of her sword, oh my god, there's a huge mound of snow on that mountain and then like grabs mooshoe goes and then like that. That's such a perfect scene in that movie. And it and one of the first animated movies to u c G I because they had to c G I. All those um, all the huns coming down the mountain. UM just like technically such an epic. The original movie is epic, like balances the epic tone that it needs, that the story needs, and it bounces the fun and like the queer aspects of this story and all of these things and the action and like it's it's I think it's such a well executed movie. And this movie just barely barely barely met that occasion and to recreate that and then I do want to say that um with the Phoenix of it all Julio tore I was talking to Julio about this, and Julio Torres says, all the shots of the phoenix flying were very like earn your sky miles. It was literally a commercial for Delta for Delta or like for some for like you know, China East Airlines or something where it's like, wait a minute, like what are we are we supposed to like just be wild by the fact that it's a phoenix, Like I don't know, like like let me, let me ask you a question. So when when Mulan leaves in the beginning, um and the dad like sort of like praise to that medallion, was that the phoenix was okay? So now it makes sense to me because like he said, he's like spiritually sends the phoenix along to guide her. Yes, but then the phoenix, the phoenix just sort of like flies alongside her and then or was there when she like at the sulfur mine or whatever? I guess, but I don't know. I feel like I feel like I feel like you need Like Mushoe is such a perfect character. The Grandma in the original, such a perfect character because she's comic relief and she's like and she's like a tune to the ancestors, so she's like, ancestors, please protect Mulan. And then that's when you the smoke travels to the to the temple, to the shrine, and then you you meet Mushu and that's such a fun story. We has to prove himself again. It's like so well thought out in terms of like the plot, and this is just like so badly constructed and not even not even badly constructed, and like like, yes, if you were to look at the script on paper, it would work. But the fact of the matter is you can't just ignore the fact that we have the original movie to compare it to. And it's not like it came out a hundred years ago. You know, this came out when we were children. You know, a lot of Disney Um families now have seen this movie. Like I guess with all these live action remix it seems like the question I have after every single one is like, to what end? Like, to what end do we have? Milan? Y'all probably are going to make a ton of money, that's for sure, and maybe people will be interested again in the original, But it's not like this was like some I think the original movie was more of a nod so the culture and was more respectful and more like all encompassing of like all the beauty of the culture, and like it really my family watched we were My family watched that when we were young, and we were like, oh my god, this is so fun, Like this is like we just appreciated the fact that, like it was a Chinese movie about a Chinese myth and like all these and like culturally it seemed authentic, even though like that was also like you know, hell and by all these white people. But you know, I would like I bought the VHS when it came out, watched obsessively. They were all these futurets like around like you know, how they researched everything about you know, sort of like the the embellished details of the myth at the time or whatever. So I feel like it's there, there's a model of this being successfully done, even if you take out the representation aspects of it BTS, which is like, you know, it's it's not like the biggest issue, but it is tell it's sort of like sets up all the failures that this live action Munich is. Well, I feel like what I what it felt like they were going to do. When the trailer came out, which I was kind of on board with, was I heard they were taking out all the music. I was disappointed. But then I saw the trailer and I thought, Oh, they're gonna flat out and make an epic drama. And I was like, that's kind of cool. That's like different for them. And I saw that it was it's gonna it's gonna be like a Crouching Tiger. I was great. And I saw that it was rady to PG. Thirteen, and I was like this, maybe this, maybe this stands a chance at being an actual good movie. Maybe they want to make it like a prestige dramatic film. You can't have her go get a blood and blow out in the desert and and take off her armor and then swim through the air and not be the case. So it's just like, if it's not that and it's not what it was, what is it like? That's my ultimate question with about Mulan, Like I would love to set the filmmakers down and say who is this for? Who is it for? Yeah, it's for like the Chinese market. I guess it's like truly a play it like that, It's like, well, the way that like Hollywood has had such a weird that's not weird, the way that Hollywood has had this like raging boner for like trying to capture like American and the staging audiences for like years and years and years. It like checked so many boxes for Disney, and like it makes sense why they remade it and why they like put a lot of fun too, modernizing it, reinventing it, whatever. But it's like I tried to model it, tried to reinvent in in this very checkered way throughout the film, but then it also like trying to stay true a little too much to what the animated was. It was trying to spin all these plates and I just feel like at this point, I mean, my favorite Disney movie from when I was little, I did not think they could remake because it's too revisionists. Like now, knowing what we know, which is Pocahonus, I feel like at this point, why not fucking just do it? Like because literally, why not just do it? Because it's not like you're trying to make them good. They but they shouldn't do it. I don't know, I don't care anything. I feel like they shouldn't do it because it's just like a fully traumatic thing about absolutely. But but but here's the thing, like, is there a way to do it? Where no, I guess there's no. There's the ending of that story is long term, is said, Well, just that's oh, is well, she gets the story, she should be rape and she she died of horrible disease. Yes, so so real. Pocohona's whatever gets like rage gets gets gets gets brought to England. People don't know this then what actually what actually had happened to Pocohona's is quite different than of course, of course what a great love affair this has been over four days. I have to stay behind and stay with my people. That is not what happened, even even if you were to do beat for beat the original, which I agree is I enjoy the movie and like I cry every time she like runs to the cliff and like waves goodbye John Smith on the boat. It's it's incredible, the final score, the overture that plays as he leaves. You can't I might watch that tonight. Oh my god. Yeah, And we're gonna if we do watch it, we'll watch it mindfully of the real story, but as a Disney animated film of those golden ages. I think it is in terms of like the music, of the humor, the adventure, the drama, it is the best one. That's interesting. I thought you're you're like all time paper was Beauty the Beast. No, no, no, no, Beauty and the Beast. Although I will say this, I didn't think that I would think this years ago when I saw Beauty and the Beast live action. But I kind of think the Beauty and the Beast live action was the best one that's come out. Um, that's interesting. I never I never saw it. Oh see, honestly outside of him and Watson says that it is outside of Emma Watson not being able to sing like she sounds like a fucking someone said, I forget who said it, but she sounds like serious singing and that's what it is. Um. But it is the best film out of all of them. Whereas this was adaptation Horrible and Lion King it just needn't even happen. It was also a lie to say it was live action. It literally wasn't. And um, you know, I'm really interested to see what's gonna happen with Little Mermaid because that it could be really goofy, but it's just gonna be It's I feel like it's just so technically hard to film something where everyone is underwater, Like just think about that, like because I remember during like in the making of Finding Nemo, like the animators had such a hard time figuring out the way to make this like like moving through water look authentic and real. And it's if you're gonna have a hard time making computer things do that, where like you can control every single aspect of this, how are you gonna make that look good when it's like human beings like who don't really know like where to put their arms, Like I don't even know where to put my damn arms when I'm on screen, when I'm on the ground. No, it's almost impossible when you're on even when you're on the ground, to know where to And that's and that's the rule of culture number nine four. It's almost almost impossible possible to know where to put ground on screen. Yeah. Um, I do want to say one more thing, speaking of like c G I jetly having a d R and c G I mouth is was truly very upsetting to watch and mulan Okay, I have to say, I have to say something. Yeah, I only found out Gently was in this until after who was Gently? He was the emperor? He was the emperor. Yes, you don't know who Jetly is? No, I know who Jetly is. I just did. It didn't connect with me. Maybe at that point I got too fucking high because I'm telling you thirty minutes and I was like, well, forget it, there's no turning back. Now I'm getting hired. They've ever been in my life. If you're on a if you're on an indicator or a hybrid, you see Jetly's mouth move along to the crazy mixed sound of his voice, and you go, this is taking me out of my body. I cannot watch this. I I don't. I I don't. I don't begrudge you for that. It's so upsetting to watch like he it's it's like eight it's like eighties kung fu movie dubbing. But it didn't have to happen because it's Disney. I did notice that he was kind of giving like a weird performance where it looked like he like when he was like up there on the on the thing, like and he was about to burn to death. I was like, why is he expressing no emotion at all. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Now it makes a lot of sense. The the original emperor in Mulan was so good too, where you know he was just like, no matter how hard the wind blows, the mountain cannot bow to. It's like, oh yeah, like think like like please have this character like spit out these Confucianisms like I don't care, like it's it's fun writing like I I as an audience member, enjoy like these like poetic illustrations of like Confucianism, like just give it to me, like give the children, like tever. It's essentially it's a movie like let's go, let's be the grand version of it. And I feel like it wasn't all the wrong ways and missed all the ways that it should have been. I will say this despite the fact that the movie didn't move me in the slightest. I did almost shutouts here at the mg Na cameo. I was gonna say that ming Na showing up is the most is the biggest emotional sort of flourish in that whole movie. You're like, oh my god, and she and she delivered exactly what she was supposed to deliver, which is like a knowing like Canio like, yeah, me, yeah, it's me. She did. She had that it's me energy and her voice is unmistakable when you hear it. I was like, oh my god, that's Mulan's voice. And then she moves out of the way, and of course we have our Mulan, who's like fine. Can we talk about the voice cast in the original. You had Mgna, when you had Beaty Wong, you had Harvey fire Steen, you had so many, like I mean, two gay men in that cast. Vocals, Donnie Hausman vocals. I mean, give it up. What a great fucking movie. I fucking love Mulan so much. It's it's it's Mulan is my favorite sort of Renaissance Disney. Mulan and Hercules and Little Mermaid are my three and a lot of I'm gonna say, I'm I'm gonna say for me, it's Mulan pocahonas Little Mermaid and Hans, what do you mean three game Man? Three game Man? You can't just say three games it's a podcast, Hans. You have to like George. George was the lead ancestor. Yeah, yeah, yea, yeah yeah. So And also I just want to say that Hans did say in the chat. He's been very vocal in the chat today, and he said, what about Aladdin in terms of the live action remix? And this is what I'd say about that. I prefer what Aladdin was to what Mulan was because at least Aladdin, while it was like bad, was having fun, you know what I mean? At least there was things about it I can remember, like did I love the song Speechless? No, But at least song I didn't write that speech. I will not go speechless, remains speechless. I will not. I won't. It's actually a culture number one D eighty three. I remain speechless, Matt Rogers, I won't. And here's the thing. Aladdin might have been goof aloof and nothing compared to the origination, but at least it was fun and there was things about it that you can talk about. Mulan is just literally like if I saw one more dusty scene, girl, girl, that's all. That's how Mulan was dusty. It could have been. Honestly, I was, I was like whatever, sort of like making this like, you know, snarky comparison to Crouching Tiger. But it's like you go back and watch Crouching Tiger. What a fucking great movie, one of the greatest. If they just made like, you know, a more like yeah, if they if they made a PG. Thirteen Crouching Tiger, like who can It's like there were no limiting factors here. They had every resource in the world to make this a great film. Literally, here's how you fix the movie. And I'm not kidding like you have Mulan, it's a it's a musical. She she is going about her life. She's trying to do the right thing. You see that she's got like like you know, adventurous impulses, but she's going through the process of needing to become a wife and become a bride, and she's not fitting in. Um. You cut two very very very far across the land. You see like, um, there is like a spiritual force that's making that's like causing all these soldiers to like do evil things. You find out that's gongally controlling them. And and then and then their word comes back to the city. We need to send one man from every family out there. There's like an evil force that's invading. And then the father can't go. Mulan goes in his place, on her journey, she finds out that it's this woman. The woman takes an interest in her. That's the conflict right there, This like evil force, which is this woman who was not accepted, who had possessed great power and great um abilities. She tries to corrupt Mulan. It's up to them at the end. Um Eventually, like Mulan gets the Gongali to turn. It's too late to save her, but she like undergoes to understand what that meant, how that repression and how that denial of true essence turned her into something evil. Mulan says, that's not gonna be me. She's committing to who she is and at the end, like and honestly cut the love story. That's how that's how you could have fixed it. Just make it simpler. Matt Rodgers story breaker, extraordinarire script doctor, Well girl, I have that degree to cut the sand. Add girl. Add the Gongli Leo y FEI like you know, like sort of like duality narrative. Just lay that on me. Yeah, I was like I was like shocked that there was more to it than that that like Gongli had to answer to this other evil guy. That and then he was like, if you go with me, you will be able to live in your true essence. And it's like, girl, no, she could live in her true essence, however she wants like the reason why she's listening to she could crush you. And in when she turns into a bird and takes the arrow from Mulan, I'm like, that didn't have to happen because we've seen that you're a witch who can like just move her arm and knock that thing out of the air. Why did you have to die? I hate that ship. I hate when something is like just deliberately destroys the logic of what's been established. It just bothered me so much. And then I looked on Rotten Tomatoes and it had such a high score and I'm like, y'all are not being real, okay. So Hans says, this is why Matt and Bowe need to be Flotsam and Jetsam. We were told, we have it on good authority that Flotsam and jets them are not in the live action. The rumor is that Flotsam and jets them are not in it. But they should have hired us to be Flotsam and Jetsam. So that we could be to be there at the same time playing the parts, also punching up the damn script. Yes, but if it if it wasn't ust, then we would have been okay with cock Destroyers getting it too. It should have been. Honestly, once I heard that there wasn't going to be Flatsam and jetsam, I was disappointed for us, but more disappointed for the cockstro Who really are the flatsam and jetsam that we deserve? If who's there, like Ursula, I want to I want to think, I like, you know, who would you can? I think you need to cast like within Ron Jeremy. Yeah, oh my god, that's so good. Even the Ron Jeremy ism entangled in a lot of legal troubles right now. Yeah, Ron Jeremy. And no, honestly, it's if it was going to be the cock Destroyers as flotsam and jetsam, then you would need to get a drag queen. Then you would need to get like Gingerman. Gingerman. Yeah, Ginger would be great. She really would have been. You know, it's Melissa McCarthy and she'll turn the fun performance. It should have been Charlene. Honestly, Charlene would have been an amazing ursula. Oh right, have you what else are you watching right now? Okay, we'll have Well, you need to watch you need to keep watching the vow. So Matt and I watched the first I was just gonna be I was just going to bring it up. Actually, wait, how far along are you? I've watched the three episodes that have been ounced. Okay, so what are your thoughts on it? Now? On it? My thoughts on it are that it is too slow and and and here's the thing. It is a compelling story. This could have been one documentary movie. This did not have to be a serious It's not. I don't think so, honey, that it's going to be nine episodes? Are you kidding me? Nine? But wait, wait wait, I think the way that these people are setting up the narrative is interesting because it is really, really really making this case that over such a long period of time, this cult nexium like very insidiously slowly like implanted into these people's brands that like, it's not a cult, and we're what we're doing is self improvement and we're optimizing um, and so it becomes very believable that these people would have dates so long, and it becomes all the more shocking to me as a viewer that as soon as you find out about all this um dust stuff, about all the sex cult stuff, that it's the branding that you're like, oh my god, like this and it's so and they're so entangled in this you know, structure of this organization that they have to very carefully plan their exit and it's genius that they're all and the and the reason it's so long is also because I think that um, the Mark guy and the Sarah person are just the Mark is a documentary and Sarah persons an actress, sort of gets what. They both get what they have to collect, and so they're collecting all of this footage, all these calls UM and it just builds. It creates such a compelling story that I'm sure there's there is definitely thought to be trimmed, but I think I am getting this dense fully painted, like you know, uh, presentation of how awful, awful awful this. Yeah, so I was when you just said it was nine. That's tough for me because I was actually just thinking that this is too long, that what I assumed must be only five episodes. But because they're literally repeating things we've already heard, like it's it's it's literally rehashing story beats in a way where I'm like, yeah, but Housewives, it's a different thing. No, no, no, it is. It is a completely different thing. Because Housewives, I have no defense of why you needed to be sixteen episodes of season. But the next thing, it's just like I think it's because we've seen we've seen things like this done before, and all I can say is I'm really engaged in the material until I'm just shocked at how long it's been going. Because they're not short episodes either. They're like over an hour. They come to such this like tense head that like each of them, and like it's only getting more and more distressing. The gaslighting is if you want a definition on what gaslighting is, it's this like like when when the Lauren person tells Sarah best friend, like there's actually nothing really that weird like about being branded, Like what's actually that weird about it? You know what I mean? Like and like you know, like it's it's you're doing it because you know it's what we do. Like why is it bad? Can you actually answer me the question why is it bad? And then it's impossible for Sarah to be like, let me explain why it's bad for my body to be irrevocably branded with the initials of a man that owns the quote unquote like life coach business that I'm a part of. Like it's it's it's it's crazy. Well, I think the show does a good job of like making that makes sense where you're like, oh, this Lauren person, Laurence Saltzman, the daughter of Nancy Saltzman, who is the sort of co head of this cult. You're sort of taking in the fact that they are just it's a culture of like rejecting fear of like fear being this like this like shitty conditional thing that's inside of you. That's your fault you're at cause like all the all of this language is so chilling and terrifying because you and I were watching the first episode together with Greta and and the three of us were like, oh wait, like this kind of like this kind of like tracks for me, like this makes sense, Like well, that's how it works. Yeah, That's how they get people is because basically what they're in the scientology does the same thing they're basically in the intro uh sections of these cults, like in the entry level UM classes anyway, all they're really doing are you know, exposing you too helpful therapy techniques or helpful practices for sound thinking or you know, useful UM methods of sorting out the way that you feel. Can I say that's how conversion Therapy was for me to like the first like four sessions were like okay, wait, I'm like coming actually makes sense? Yeah, And I feel like, I don't know, maybe the show is consciously like reflecting that where it's like, oh, like it's building a case for like how like, um, you know, innocuous or how helpful this organization is. And then what a fucking turn it takes when you get to the branding part. Because the branding part was very effectively portrayed to me um or just sort of like just like kind of like presented in this documentary form where I was like, on, I was so fucking tense watching it, And I don't usually have that sort of like visceral somatic response to to to that kind of thing when I'm watching it, but I'm just like, oh my god, oh my god, like you know, it's it was so distressing. I feel like it is a very distressing view and I find it very not educational. I just I just feel like it is informational and a very compelling way. Well yeah, I mean it's literally it. I would say there's a lot of really great choices that the documentary is making, Like this is small, but I do love the very long phone conversations that we see, and I love the backdrop that they appear on, and I love, um the way that those are presented like pretty much in real time without being edited. And I find that you really feel the intensity of those phone calls and when you're sitting in the pauses, and I really appreciate that those are being played as those conversations were had. One thing I'm not loving about the documentary are the acted re enactments like um, Bonnie Runnings with as salt flats, like with tears in her eyes, like when she was sitting on her husband's lap and all of a sudden she was crying, ah steirtical. I'm like, is this real time? Is this is this a re enactment? Like like close ups on people's faces while they're shaking and crying like um, and it's very clear that like, are these actresses just wanting to act right now? Like I just I think it's unclear, Yes, linearly what is happening time wise? And I do think that's bad. That is bad, and I think that is a result of these two documentarians, I forget their names, who have their name on the whole thing, but it's mostly marks footage and Marcus and Marcus this like award winning renowned documentarian himself and it's like if they had I'm kind of curious to know if they had, if he had just had full rain over, like how he wanted to tell the story with the footage that he had himself recorded and the calls that he had himself recorded with Sarah Um, that would have been interesting. I feel like there was this this extra editorial perspective from these two documentarians who took all that footage and then like sequenced it themselves through in these like re enactimancise weird everhead shots of people at like a different like frame rate and a different resolution, like these people like running and um doing all these things that sort of take you out of the storytelling. Yeah, for sure. I mean for me, my my reaction to the vow thus far has been Wow, I hate next to him. What an evil company, what an evil person that's running this? Like this is horrible, And that to me is separate from whether I think the documentary, which is like not really because I think that I think. I think it's just really sort of molasses. It is very it is very slow, and honestly, it's not super were bothering me the way that like, let's just say this, I'd rather watch nine episodes of this than Mulan again. But um, like I wish it was just a little crisper, you know what I mean, Because I've been watching so many documentaries lately and I'm so surprised what how much I'm willing to watch, Like you know, that Epstein documentary on Netflix, I was like flying through it. I was just like, so, I was like this, I didn't watched after the first episode because it's like I already kind of know everything there is to know about this, I guess, yeah, And maybe that's the thing with Next Game is we haven't necessarily seen this story. That's what I'm expressed as explicitly and clearly, and you know, it is kind of crazy to know that, you know, they had like Kristen Kruek like in there and like um, I didn't watch Smallville, but apparently Alison mac had like a very large role on it. She was like his She was like Clark's best friend or whatever. She like them, was like the Alison Hannigan to like his Buffy. She her Um, Laurence Saltzman, Nancy Saltzman Key three are obviously and everyone in the first ring of that cult of that like sex sex cult um all deserve like just the worst, just the worst. They deserve prison time after we abolished the car the cars roal state. I don't know, but they are awful. How are they all in jail now? They're not, they're awaiting sentencing, um, but the the sentencing has been postponed due to COVID, so who knows, but and who knows how hopefull I mean, I'm sure, like you know, there's precedent for something like this where like a documentary comes out about the case and are about I mean, they're not. It's not gonna be easy for the easier for them now. I bet theyed the minimum for I want to say Lauren and Alison Mac I read was fifty. The maximum was fifteen years, which I'm like, maybe that ain't enough, Like these people are fucking evil. Well didn't Alison mac plead guilty to racketting. She played She played guy to racketeering. They all put guilty to their charges. Keith got the most. I think Nancy got all got the second most, and then Lauren and uh Lauren and Alison mack and then like the Seagram's eRASS that that that one. Can I say a question, what what is racketeering? So it's like a racket is just like basically like like like an ill way of making money where you're just like a protection racket is like pay me this money or all or all funk up your like, um, you know your business. Um, Like a racket is just like you get money through illegal ways. So they were like collecting collateral and you know, like collecting money and like all the ship and so, um you know that is the main charge. But I just feel like on the like, um just I don't know, on a dumb moral level, um, it's just so shitty that um yeah. And also just like the pain that people have to go through, like that women had to go through too, And honestly I haven't We're only three episodes in of the nine episode thing, so who knows how doctor is going to get to be honest with you. It hasn't really gotten into the specifics of the sexual relationships he had with any of them yet, which I'm sure is coming. But one thing I do like about the documentary is it really does like like an onion, like as as you peel, like it's just more and more and more, and it's really crazy. And another thing is like they are becoming terrifying as a as a continues, like Nancy from the first episode too. Now I'm like, you are a freak and Keith is like, that's a true crazy person, true crazy person. Anytime readers, anytime someone tells you that they know someone or they are this person, that they're the smartest person in the world, that they that the the the acet and I Q test. President Donald Trump I used to work at a Park Avenue doctor's office in college where he like would give all of his patients it's like Q test and like, um, you'd be like, I've used it, I've I've done all this. Like I was like, oh, you're running you're a snake oil salesman, and like these people use these meaningless you know, like meters or whatever the funk to like tell you or legitimize the fact that they are the smartest person in the world. Anytime someone's doing that, like like anytime someone's directing that knowledge at you, that information at you, Umm, call the police after we defund them, you know, like that that that that stuff. So it's just um, yeah, I mean everyone's getting more terrifying. Lawrence Saltzman is terrifying. She's she's crazy because it's so powerful to be like cool girl and be doing this like so sick Alison Mack, I don't believe. I don't find to be a cool girl her like sucking, strumming on the guitar, singing these corny as songs at people's weddings. I'm like, Oh you you fucking suck. I could like roast your ass, like any time of day if whatever. She is. So that girl though, that you worshiped for like a year and a half in college, not me, not me. I saw right through that show. I was like, Oh, you fucking suck, get out of my way any way, fish girl with an instrument. When I was in college, I was like, oh my god, we're gonna go. We're gonna go see Cheyenne perform at the Shane. We're going to We're going to see Cheyenne Blessed performed tonight at the Crystal Head. Shyanne Blessed. No, I gotta say growing up in Mormon country in Colorado, like every girl that was like Alison Mac was Mormon, and I was like, ha, you dumb. I was just like, no, I don't. I don't need to see this now. Our Mormons dumb. Yeah, yeah, Mormon's. I can't wait for real house life of Salt Lake City either. I was talking I was talking to I was talking to Marty gold Commings. I was on their podcast. Um we're talking about house ives and I was like, I'm pretty excited for Saltake City because these Mormon women are very good giving you an exterior presentation of I'm cool, like oh yeah, I'm like a I'm a painter, and you know, I have this website that's really cheicly designed. They're very tech savvy, they're very like pr savvy. They can cultivate this persona of coolness and like it is kind of I want to say, like CULTI where it's like hey, come here, like we're cool, um, and this is all stuff that, like, you know, that you can get on board with. And so I'm very excited to see sort of that a new sort of Um. I know me too. Wait, what's going on? Well, it's coming out soon, and Andy tweeted about it. He was like, um, he described it like as a blow away. He's like, He's like, it is a whole different flavor of housewives, Like you've never seen the housewives like this. And I think that it is a really good opportunity with it because kind of like what you're saying, where it's like these Mormon women like there they're they're all Leah's rights, but they you know, I think everybody gets their own planet when they die, right. But I feel like my my estimation of what Mormon culture is like is it is very like keeping up present, keeping up appearances, but underneath the surface, like there's ship going on, there's jealousy going on, there's secrets going on. Whatever. So I think that like what we might get from Salt Lake City, especially with a new cast that we haven't seen interact with each other on television, and also they haven't seen themselves interact on television is we might get a sort of return to form which we used to have with the other franchises, which was you kind of saw the cracks in the China before they cracked. Like now it's like on every franchise, including Potomac, which has been unbelievable this season. It's kind of like everyone knows everyone's gig, you know, like there's no hiding anymore, like forget it. Like when you have someone like Lisa Renna on Beverly Hills, there's no hiding. And we have to say thank you to Lisa Randa because she did give one of the most iconic lines of the year with you liked the tweet, and in liking the tweet, it says everything. It says every everything. I still enjoy so angry, angry, angry. She's done it two episodes in a row. It's You're so angry, you are so angry. Then you liked the tweet, and in liking the tweet, it says everything everything. Like if that's not everything for the year, I don't know what is. You and I saw the finale of of Beverly Hills together and we both turned to each other and like we didn't need to like read like read read like the live tweets or anything. We were just like, oh, that's a fucking moment, Like wait, can we do it again? Yes, Denise, you're so angry angry. No, you're playing dirty. I'm not playing dirty dirty, Denise, you are so you forget Denise, you are angry and she's like laughing like but also the beginning of the scene, I really missed you. I miss you two Denise too, I missed Denise is also a star where she's like, what would she say? Who told you? Who told you that? Who told you that? Oh my god, she's an actress. She gets how to make something cinematic. Well they are they just actresses, but they are so stars. They are so stars, and they will give you the moment. Sitting on that couch. They knew exactly what was happening. They might not have been happy about it, but they are going to deliver on it. And the thing is, You've been having a lot of discussions recently about whether or not Denise is gonna return, and I'm torn about what she's gonna do because on the one hand, she's had such a miserable experience, like and it's been so clearly drawn in the sand, the line like we're on this side, you're on that side, And they've so clearly made it apparent how they feel about her and how they're going to feel about her going forward. But on the other hand, it's like she's hasn't been this famous irrelevant in years, and she is so powerful on the show because they all can't stop talking about her because they bother She bothers them so much because she doesn't made the show at all, and they can't stand it because Erica knows, and I love Erica, but Erica knows her career is pretty reliant on the show. Kyle is only the show. Brenda at this point, like she go do whatever she wants. But I think rin A relishes in the show and loves her job, and I think she comes. I I genuinely think she goes there to go to work. Garcell is out, she's not She's not coming back, And to be honest with you, I'm not actually gonna miss her because she's not actually a good housewife. I think she'll be great on the reel. I love Garcell, be like I I maybe I'd love her on another show. Maybe they want to spin her off and give her her own reality show. She's just not a good housewife. She doesn't mix it up, she doesn't get involved. She said some stuff about other housewives that they went over in the last episode of the reunion, and she really shied away from it, like she by the way, we should say it was so fucked up what Kyle said to her about not paying at the charity. Did you see this now? I I have not really kept up with Okay, So so at the reunion, Kyle richards Um and Garcella, we're getting into it and Kyle goes, Garcella, you came to my charity function and raised your hand for five thousand dollars and never paid. And Garcella was like, that is not true, and she said that it's not true about ten times, and Kyle was like, there's no payment been made. And it's just like, fuck you, Kyle, because we all know that five thousand, a a five thousand dollars is nothing. To Garcela, it was clearly just a mistake or something happened. Be you're really going to be the one who's gonna turn to the one black woman on the cast and be like you didn't pay. Not good? Yeah, and then Andy asked Garcela. He was like, what has it been like being the only black woman on this show? And she was answering, how, you know, she feels like a lot of the women like didn't make an issue about her with her about certain things because of her race, or like tiptote around her. And it was sort of intimating that, like she wasn't able to actually have like a Housewives experience because she felt like people felt nervous to get into it with her, but they didn't want to be the white They didn't want to be the white bitches getting into it with And Kyle was the first one to be like, I didn't think about that at all. And I was like, well, maybe you could have thought about it a little bit more because you just said to the one black woman that she didn't pay your charity event over five thousand bucks, which is nothing, and you kept that information. Of course I'll find she's got a new gig. Yeah, exactly. Um, how do you feel about someone just like posted a mem with this today so keeping up the Kardashians is over is no more? How do you feel about Chris Jenner joining joining Beverly Hills like that wouldn't that be fun? Oh, that would be an amazing idea. That would be an amazing idea and so smart. But the thing is, I think Chris Jenner would not do it because I think Chris Jenner ultimately needs to be in the edit room and as a producer, and I don't think that she would allow someone else to manipulate her image unless she was given producer credit. But I think in theory, it's an amazing idea. No, you're you're You're absolutely correct, though, in theory, I think it's great. And how do you feel about it ending? End of an era? I mean I never watched it there, but it is culturally significant that it ends, sure, but you know, I mean like the impact is forever sort of like done, Like you know that family is that family? Um? I know, Well, they will continue to have influence, they will continue to um be in the conversation. I mean, you know, not much will change beyond just the programming of E as a network. You know, Bryan Seacrest is out of is out of a job. So that's that that that's kind of all that means to me, even though I don't watch it. Yeah, I mean, on the beginning though if you watch that show early on though, like from this, like the few episodes I've seen from the early seasons, it's like the aetic Yeah, sure, but it's but it's just such an interesting like peek into like an inflection point of like massive fame where you're like, oh, this was like you know, this kind of like weird cookie household and you know, they were involved in the O J case and you know, the dad died and like all this stuff. But now it's and Kims paris his friend and now it's like, oh my god, what a fucking change. Yeah, I mean, I just think, like I think it might have a little bit to do with the fact that like their situation is now too sensitive it all. It's like, I don't I don't think. I don't think there's much left for them to mind out of what their situation is, because I think maybe Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are the real dealer and are gonna stay married, And like, if you're actually gonna sit and wallow in what Kim's every day issues are, it's going to get pretty fucking dark, pretty fucking soon, for sure. Fortunate overall, Listen, I think it might be time to move on. Okay to the segment that well, do you know? Do you remember the segment? I think I do. I was trying to think of a segment maybe reader let us know. I feel like we should add a new element to the to the U and Me shows, which is, like, you know, a miniature shortened version of too moment. I love that you said. I love the way you said miniature. You said it like miniature miniature. What do you mean miniature? And you say miniature, miniature, miniature. You're I'm just collapsing my val which is my right. I'm not impeding on your rights. I'm just saying, can I can I actually just ask you a question. So the other day I was with some people and apparently I say bagel weird when I when I use it in a sentence, Okay, I wonder I think that they might have been gaslighting me. But so listen, here's how I say the word bagel. Okay, bagel. Now I'm gonna use it in a sentence. Um, I'll just have assaulted bagel. I don't, I can't smie. Okay, then my friends are gaslighting me. Wait, okay, dude, do that again? Bagel? Yeah, Hey, if you guys are going to get a big I guess I'll just have everything. Okay, yeah, but I don't even care that you're I don't even care that your friends were gaslining. I feel like I'm going crazy now thinking it doesn't matter. Oh my god, I I'm going crazy. It was Brendan Skinnell and Joe Kim Booster and they were cackling at me because I was saying bagel differently than I say. You don't know, Okay, fine, here's here's the word. Don't don't don't don't say the word isolated, just say the sentence. I'm like, okay, I've got so much scallion cream trees. What should I do with it? Well? I think what you should do is put it on a bagel? Am I saying? Am? I saying bagel? No? Okay? Good? Then okay, I'm sorry. But maybe but maybe, but maybe it's because like now you're like aware of it. I'm saying same, I was saying at the exact same, and they were laughing at me, and they were like, you are You're saying we're you're saying weird, And it was so infuriate. It was Sarahne and so infuriating, so infuriating you are, Denise. Did you see that trailer with Sisha and Kate Winslet being lesbian fossil diggers. Oh yeah, that's fun. I mean, isn't that like such a I feel like that's such a a throwaway joke though, when you're like a lesbian paleontologist, it's like, I mean, to lesbian fossil jaggers is a dirty rock joke. But um, the movie looks pretty good. I mean it's Kate Winslett and Sarasha. I love that. I love that being lesbian together. Search is in the new Wes Anderson movie that hasn't come out yet, but but apparent. But like, what was she she was? She's been in Wess Anderson stuff before, right that she was in it doesn't matter. I don't know. She was in Grand Budapest probably, oh maybe one of those, yeah, something like one of those. Anyway, anyway, this is no no, no, no, no, no no. I want to say, I want to. I want to. We're we're just like sort of live pitching here, like a miniature version of Top of like topwo hundred. Maybe we like each each week we present We'll do this for the next time we do just the two of us. Here's good thing. Why don't we have Here's a good thing? Here, Here's Here's good title of apple, Here's good thing. Exclamation point. Um. I think that the readers should pitch topics of different things. We can count down and we'll come in the top five thing of those topics. I love that, and we'll both we'll both bring in and we'll compare notes. Yes, so um oh, even if there's overlap, we'll be like, oh my, had that too, Yes, and then we can call it top five. Here's no. I think we call it here's a good thing. Here's a good thing, Here's good thing. Um. Okay, Well, that's the title of this episode, and it's also the title of an upcoming segment um on this podcast. And the title of the episode is promo for the segment. Yes, oh genius. Lots of layers to the marketing. Okay. Um. So, so let's readers, let to know what you'd like us to talk about. We'll sort of get a collective sense of what you want us to count down. I like this. It's very Kelly Clarkson, Kelly Okey of us that crowdsource ideas and then come with our own takes, very kelly yucky of us. Okay, this is I don't think so honey. This is where we each take one minute to rail against something in the culture. Matt, you have something, I have something. I do well, I was I'll say this. I actually came into this episode thinking, my I don't think so honey would be Mulan. But I think what we ended up doing was a forty five minute Mulan. I don't think so honey. So I am. I do have something else. I love that. Okay, so um and you have it ready? Yeah, okay, this is Matt Rogers. I don't think so honey. As time starts now, I don't think so honey. The view recast Sarah Haynes um for what I kind of have the same response to this as I do with Mulan, certainly certainly not for her political insight. And y'all, I hate to remind you this, but we're in the election cycle. And also it's weird to me that you would replace Abby Huntsman with Sarah Haynes. That does not seem like a want to want. And I have to say I do think so honey. At a Navarro who was literally sitting there and being by far the most entertaining cast member, and you don't cast her as a permanent co host after what she's done for you. I don't think so, Honey. The disrespect that that has, the disregard that that has the ability to see gold right before your eyes, that that happens, lack of energy that that has, the lack of diversity that that has. Sarah, she's like this, she's like a you know, just she's like just like a mom, you know. I mean, not that we don't need a mom, but like but like there's not anything anyway, but like she's just like an every woman in the way where it's like I don't need every woman on the show. I need some real political insights, some some die, diversity of opinion, and I don't think we're getting that with her. And after stray hand, Kiki and Sarah ended, I guess this was a good place to put her. But I mean, it's honestly nothing against her as a person. It's just I don't get it. Yeah, you're you're right, I mean, we're we're in a very consequential election. Obviously, I feel like you're you're bringing in you know, d n C ish moderate liberalism, like you know what I mean, Like it's kind of just like she's like like like Robin's bloom. Yeah yeah, fruit at the bottom, you know, fat free Greek yogurt. Very bad. I'm just kinda like bored. I'm just I'm just like, bring in Anna, bring in Anna Navarro, bring in Anna. She's she's politically to the right, but I you know, I I she's fun TV. She's fun TV. And I also get why they put Abby Huntsmananca. She was a moderate Republican and it's just like they was also a model Republican. Well she she would she would more identify as like a moderate period now. Um, I think, but because she doesn't moderate, you're bringing a moderate democrat in with Sarah Haynes. I felt what they should have done was bringing a very progressive person because I think that's like yes to the view. I was like, whoopee, is not super progressive, Sonny. I guess Sonny is um like progressive but not really. She's a little d NCI is for me. Um Joy can be frustrating pretty DNC and she's the most liberal but you know, and then god, they should have brought in someone like, uh, I don't know, I said Anaksperian from The Young Turks, although I don't think she would take the job, but maybe or someone like I'm you know, any Va Leela, Yeah, right, like just someone fun that's like I don't know, like engaged, involved, and I think that they're missing like a very aggressive voice, you know what I mean? Like I don't. And the thing is like I feel like they think because this is the one to one people like them would make, they be like, well, if we have someone really progressive and then we need a trumper, which is not true because now that's not true at all, not true at all, because one is a valid point of view when one is an invalid point of view. So anyway, but I just I'm not I'm not excited about her coming back to the show because I just don't think she brings like a dynamicism. Sure totally. Anyway, are they doing are they doing it in studio? Again? The only one that's in studio right now is Sarah because Sonny is continuing to do it from home, so is Joyce, so is Whoopie, and Megan is like eight months pregnant. So um, okay, Well, we wish her the best, don't we um? All right, I've publicly made so many tasteless Megan McKay jokes that I'm like, she's I'm sadly not one of her gay friends. Isn't that I know? But here's here's here's what I have to ask you. Here's what I have to ask you. And I sometimes think about this. I'm being totally facetious. By the way, For anyone listening who's Andy looks you on Watch What Happens Live and you were on there with Megan McCain, would you have a good time with her? No, you wouldn't would be like her. I'd be like, Hi, it's nice to meet you, and I would I have such few opportunities to be because I'm not like I don't consider myself like a mean person. I have such a few opportunities to be like a bitch that I would relish in the opportunity. Oh my god, you but you you know me, like any time there's an opening for me to be like a hint of a bitch like you, like, well, when it's when it's justified, and so I like, you know, a couple of this thing happened in the base a couple of weeks ago, and I was like, this is my time to shine, and like I felt very good and comfortable about being a little bit of a bit because people deserved it. And so now I'm like, if if Megan McCain and I were on Watch What Happens Life together, be like, hi you or noxious you are? You are corrosive bile in our media landscape. Thank you. And this is this is where I differ because I think that I wouldn't know. I wouldn't want it to ruin my experience. You have a duty to be cruel to Megan McCain. I would not want to be cruel to her. I would make it clear that we don't agree on very much of anything outside of the fact that Trump needs to fucking go make it clear. But I also know that Watch What Happens Live is not the space for me to get into it with Megan McCain. No, I'm not gonna be like, it's not going to ruin my Watch what Happens Live, that's for fun. I'm not going to be rude to her while the cameras are rolling. I'm just like, when when like we like get walked onto set or whatever, I'm just gonna be like, hey, yeah, this is all assuming that she would want to engage with us too. Sure, she probably hates us. She's always on that show. She's always on that show, which he books her so much. Um, but you know what's interesting about you and I? I bet people on face value would think that I'm the bigger bitch. Sure, really, yeah, I know I'm the bigger bitch when like, in very selective pockets of time, I am generally, I'm generally I try very hard to be I mean, but I I reject this notion that I'm not approachable like you, Like Matt's getting a lot of d m s from from people who are like, hey, send Bowen this nude or whatever I do, I literally will get. I literally will receive nudes from Bowen. And I have to say, I don't think so, honey, that I'm receiving nudes from Bowen requests for Bowen Like, I am not Bowen's publist. Oh that's yeah, I hate that. I don't think so many that man is not my publicist. Please do not like solicit things that have not his assistant. I am not his publicist. I am not that is I am I please direct to Bow and Yang himself if you would like to inquire with you. Thank you. It also makes me feel bad. I know, I'm just I'm just kidding. It really doesn't. In fact, sometimes I'm like, well, actually, I'd rather get all this stuff so I can get some insight into how people are feeling. Oh that's that's fun. Um. I I just want to say that, UM, you and I are bitches. Indifferent ways. How am I a bit? You are? You? You? UM are very agile in your bitchiness. You can sort of like if you I'm saying, when you need to be a bit you do it on such a such a quick pivot. I'm like, I gotta really like let something like sit with me before I'm activated into my bitchy. I would say that I would say that you are more passive pressive, and I am more aggressive, but I can be aggressive. I think we both can be both. But I would say that on the sides of the spectrum. That's where like I think you're bitching, you are more of UM. You're more of a measured like sub twiteter, and I'm more of a what did you say? Yeah, I'm not. I would never go what did you say, yeah, that's amazing. I'm more of a here's me looking you in the eyes, confronting you, and you're more that happened, and then twenty five minutes later, something searing appears on social media, or I'll go like, you know, someone says something grude to me. I'll be like, oh, well the world needs dreamers, and then all look the way or something, whereas I'm throwing plates, but but apologizing immediately. Um, okay, so this is boone yangs. I don't know, this is this is mine, this is mine. I'm sorry. Yes, you had a wonderful one. Yes, this is boon. I don't think so. Wow he forgot that I did one. No, it was great. I just we we went on such a tangent. Anyway, this is I don't think so honey. His time he is starts now, I don't think so, honey. The price point on air purifiers. I am shopping for an air purifier and I'm looking at the cheapest models and they're like four hundred dollars. I go, you cannot do what my PlayStation four does, sweetheart. You zap little dust particles and that's all you do, and then you cycle them back out so so so I'm breathing cleaner air. That's wonderful. You should cost at most a hundred and fifty dollars. We're not doing that much. Sweet, You're doing one thing, and you're doing one thing decently, I would say, whereas my PlayStation four game console, Honey is doing everything it is. Oh, it is connecting me to the Internet where I can buy games, it is to New fantastic world, and it is opening up experiences to me that I'm enjoying. So air purifiers you got to be priced last. The market is real bullshit right now with the air purifiers. And that's when minute, you know, it's one of those things where it's like you always want one, but I actually never know what's what's a good price point to spend on them? Well, I feel like we are being like conned into thinking, oh, you know, it's it's I guess, I guess this is how much they cost, which I'm sure, like they're very sophisticated pieces of machinery, but I'm also like no, I mean, like I I bought the cheapest air purifier from Molecule. It's like that's crazy, And I was just like, what I guess this is my only option. See that's that's like, that's like one of those things where it's like you find out how much of much it is and you're like, no way, Like I I would never thought they would be more than two hulls. You know what's well, you know what's an expensive item that you never would think is this expensive? Like muscle guns, massage guns. Well, I bought one of those four hundred thirty dollars and it was worth it. Shears like shears that you cut hair with hundreds and hundreds of dollars. I found out while I was hosting Hot Dog. No, that's too much money. That is too much money. I can do. I can tag and rip something with my own two hands and it'd be free. My mother confirmed. I was like, I had no idea. She is really expensive. She's like, oh yeah, that's why I always get so mad when I dropped mine, because she feel like you understood your mother in a deeper way. Yeah, well, I had no idea that there were such an investment. But also there's so many different kinds you can get. But girl, this is for the readers. When you go into there to your beautition, just know that that is an expensive piece of machinery. So just another reason to sit absolutely still. Get your blowout, girl, because that blow out is gonna pay for some new shears that they deserve, honey, and then on for us. After you get your blow out, ride into the desert to fight the What a great song, what a great movie. I'm gonna watch pocahon Test even though I will be um shocked at mel Gibson's presence in my in my ears, you know, I think I actually might watch Pocohontas tonight too, to be honest, it's a horny movie. Yeah, and well, you know, he had it all. I think I think she should have taken this, she should have married. But honestly, the scene where John Smith and Pocohona's first see each other and then they're standing on the rocks in the midst and they're just staring at each other because they've never seen anything like each other. That to me was art. It's art. It transcends the medium. It's like it doesn't even matter that it's animation. It's like, oh my god, what a what a what a beautifully John we Outside of the fact that it's a revisionist and also that she looks like Alexandra, like Ambrosio, like with like eight inch waist and double de tips, like the cheekbones sitting high to this guy gangle like the longest hair you've ever imagined, like long Kim Kardashian hair, like a fucking banging Jamaican dance hall. Ass I was Tina fight calls it. Yes, I will say my my one big nott with Pocahona's um is. Too many animals, too many sidekicks. You got the pug, you got the little flit, you got the little hunting bird, and then you got the raccoon. It's like, there's too many animals here. Yeah, yeah, it's it's the same problem that Mohana had. Unfortunately, too many animals um and problem the whole middle was so boring. Well, Mulan had the perfect amount of animals, had mushi. You had the lucky cricket, that was it, and the horse, but like the horses more of like a was just there girl. Where was the cricket? Where was the cricket? Was the cricket? The cricket was important in the matchmaker scene. The crickets the reason the matchmakers, the matchmaker session failed and you got a damn spider coming out? Why is there a spider in that Matchmaker's house? Stupid? You know what it's actually like. Also, that part always bothered me because it's like in the animated movie, the grandmother gives the cricket for luck and then the cricket gets lose, So it really is essentially the grandmother's fault. So that's one note for the original movie. And also in this new movie, the spider being there. I mean, honestly, all she had to do is be like, there's a spider under the spider there, and my sister, as you can see, is having a conniption fit. This this is what should have happened, and pretending mulan, poor the tea, dearest Matchmaker. There appears to be I apologize for talking out of turn. There appears to be an I rachnid creature making its way down into the teapot. May I please dispose of it? Thank you for telling me. You may pick up the cup and dispose and we'll begin again. Oh my god, you would have been great. The Matchmaker was fun, study and studient and I watched it together and then um, at that very moment when the spider comes down, Um, she goes, girl, what do you think of Mulan? Speak for her? Well, Sudi, Well, Sudie and I thought the same thing. And she was like, you know, it's these beautiful landscapes and these actor, these poor actors doing their best with their five word lines, you know, like it's just it is what it is. And um, unfortunately it's what we had anyway. So and unfortunately it's what we had. That's really what we have to say about Milan ultimately is unfortunately it's what that's what we had. Well, this has been a true culture catch up. Yes, I loved this culture catch up. It felt like a return to form. When she say, I would say, and you know, we really dug in on Mulan, and I guess our ultimate uh reaction is no no. And now we close every episode with the song We'll have you washed and try to print and bolster your glow with pride to trust by recipe for Instant Bride You Will Bride. Oh Bye Bye

Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey in 
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