Explicit

"Drag Mother" (w/ Guy Branum)

Published Nov 22, 2017, 8:00 AM

It’s the moment Las Culturistas fans have been waiting for: Matt & Bowen's Drag Mother is on the pod! The brilliant Guy Branum (Talk Show The Game Show/Pop Rocket) joins them for a cultural romp that will fundamentally alter the way you live your life. It’s required listening! Matt and Bowen are fresh off Cultch War & I Don’t Think So, Honey! Live and are ready to talk Taylor Swift’s new album with Guy, especially after seeing her this past weekend at the SNL afterparty. What else? How bout Britney Spears's Instagram, Zac Efron opening beer bottles for sport, Other People the FILM, Arsenic and Old Lace/Bell, Book and Candle, the two best sketch performers in NYC (former LC guest Beth Newell’s kids, Bryn & Maeven!), Billy Eichner’s fame, and the answer to the question: who did Hailee Steinfeld vote for in the 2016 election? Plus, Guy’s gold nuggets of wisdom, including “brunette Christina Applegate provides you with all your Jennifer Aniston needs at half the cost!” You’ll remember where you were when you heard Guy’s episode of Las Culturistas!

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Last Cultures. This is brought to you by the Forever Dog Podcast Network. Find us and other great podcasts at www dot Forever dog Podcasts dot com. And if you're loving what you're hearing, subscribe to us at Apple podcast And while you're there, please write us a nice review and give us a five star rating. Thank you all, Thank you all. Ding Dong Lost Culture and guests who has his own mic. Now, Hi, Wow, it's I said, this show is becoming a full experience. You're gonna I know what you're gonna say. You're gonna say this show becomes more and more Howard Stern by the episode and shout out to Howard Love I mean, but I will say shout out to Nick. To Nick. I was just on Howard certain wrap up show, and I want to say, what's up to those folks? I had so much fun. Oh and I just got to know with Mtayline, previous guest of the wrap up show. Yes, his episodes are fabulous and he was singing everybody's praises over there at Stern there loves you guys over there, we love you. They're an army of great folks. And I will say, um, I'm happy that We talked about that because it put me in a good place for a second. What do you mean, what do you do you know about? And I should be flying high? You should be flying I should be flying high. Is the winner of culture. But I was going to say, but I'm not. I'm not flying high. I'm feeling really um, what's going on. I can't believe we lost the real war, which is Taylor Swift. She she beat us, put out an album that is no the jury is not out bit and we are not talking about how it is a done deal and this album is a full It's not her, it's not her best. It doesn't matter if it's her. If it's not her best, it's still very good. Listen. I read an interview. I read an interview interview today with because basically she's she's pulling a Beyonce. She's not doing any interviews for this album cycle. But her uh you know, go to music VIEWO director is Joseph Cohn. Yes, Joseph, this crazy looking Korea man who is a visionary whatever. But he was sort of he's sort of been her mouthpiece this whole time, and he I will say, I like came after her culture for being like a pseudo white did you said, I don't think so, honey, a c L you Taylor Swift. I think just her legal team is obviously very misguided. But Joseph Khan seemed to leave me with the impression that she is not She's not the enemy. She's an enemy. I am bopping and swooping and stomping. And we saw her at the SNL after party, Yes we did. That was crazy anyway, Now look we have another star in our midst Oh what what go? Okay? You guys were at the SNL after party, but somehow only Dave Mazzoni got all up in that. There was a long story. There was a long story. I thought, I trained you better than this fucking choreographers in your way. No, no, don't do don'tever. He is so much more than mostly a choreo. Um no, listen. I would have felt like a sham if I had gone out there and took a picture with her. I would have felt like a sham. It would have because I've took so much ship, and so is bo and so have I. But I came up with the perfect thing to vote to have said to her at once, what would you have said? Bow and we've been like, Hi, are you the girl from the UPS Trucks? And we both would have laughed, and we both would have laughed. She would have laughed here would have found it funny. There is why I'm going to assert why Dave Mazzoni was able to go up to Taylor Swift in the two of you were not confident in looks. There's that I'm going to say that you guys fundamentally would approach that situation as colleagues and would be annoyed that she did not recognize like your collegial status in Dave Mazzoni is able because of looks and confidence and simply be okay. Here, here's what happened. There's some speckstory to it, though, so so Matt and Dave met us at the afterparty. I was at the taping and I brushed shoulders with her and we made eye contact in these narrow halls of eight age, and oh my god, I felt this. No, no no, no, I'm just saying this stopped Matt's being an as I felt I felt this, I felt this look from her. I was like, she she knows I've talked about her, she knows, but she absolutely does that's wonderful, wonderful that feeling so well, why didn't somebody leverage Chadrick Hall? He was the whole reason why there was a picture even taken. So apparently, and I will spill tee now see will be spilt. So we were at the S party, Taylor famously performed physical guest. Tadrick was there because Toddrick, I guess, and Taylor are real I r L friends And Toadrick, what are those phone messages? I need to understand? You know it's him gushing alright. So so Tadrick was kind of being like her keeper in a sense, like he was like three steps behind her the whole time, like making sure she didn't spend too much time with one person, Like you could tell kind of tell if she wanted to move van, she'd kind of throw a look to Toddrick and she she'd be swept away. So Toddrick, I guess his old friends with Ariel's boyfriend. So they were talking to Toddrick almost immediately when we got there, and I was like, how the fund do they know Tondrick call? So that was their point and so then they kind of got swooped in and they were sort of in this Ki books, confidence, ability to maintain a relationship at least Ariel, those big those are the big three. She did. She did. Taylor did set her martini down on our table. Though. When she was taking the picture and we looked at it, it it was like a Vaca martini with like a lemon twist, and we were like, that's Taylor Swift and I will say this, I will say this. There's one more of this. One of the thing. Dave Massoni, when he met Taylor Swift, promoted our show at UCB East Game Show to her, described it and said the words you should come. He's a goddamn professional. Okay, wait, hold on, we don't even know who we have to introduce your as don let's introduce. Let's go through the credit. Let's just the credit. So, um, listen, you can hear him back. He has wrestled back the hosting duties from Louis Vitel. I can't imagine he gave it away easily. Again. I got a little comfortable, um so of Pop Rocket Mother Our Dragon Mother. Really, Um, this is one of the best podcast. I mean, Boone and I were on it when we were in l A. We had such a blast true intellectuals on that seriously amazing. We felt like the true little dumb pieces of corn colonels that we are. Um, yeah, you were. We talked about such emotionally and intellectually stimulating topics as the finale of Girls You know, it was very stimulated. I didn't know it could be sating. Yes, so um and obviously the host of the amazing show on True TV talk show The Game Show making its return. This is such a fun show, you guys, and listen to me right now. If you queers thought that the first time Tiffany Hattrish told that story, I saw it live on the first episode of Talked to the Game Show and I lost my mind. I was like, who is this person? Tiffany what Hattish? Bitch? And then she was on Girls Shop and just the host of us in No Wow. Truly a small world, small world. It all goes back to a writer for the Mindy Project and really just cultural icon in our eyes. His name good to be here. Look, okay, so as somebody who has lived in l A for quite some time and has had some downtimes in his career, like the specter of being pet gay too famous women has been presented and there there are just those moments. I spent one evening essentially being the pet gay to Rumor Willis as she was courting Thank God, zach Efron. Uh, and it was just like, I'm I was surprised. I've not told you guys this story before because I love this story too much. It essentially just comes down to he had gained like thirty pounds of muscle to do that movie where like Dear John or something like that, the one where he was coming back from the war. I did not really I like was around him for like two hours before I realized it was zac Efron. It was he started freestyle rapping. He was like, um, I can freestyle rap about anything, give me a topic, and Rumor said Scooby Doo. And then he freestyle rapped for five minutes and never mentioned anything remotely related to Scooby Doo. And like at that point I was like because I was shitfaced, and I was like, this might be Zach Effron. And then I went We were back at her place and she like did the thing of like giving me the hundred dollar bill to tip the driver and stuff like that, which were very much the like you and my pet gay sort of things. And then like zach I Fron turned to me and was like, where do we make drinks? And I was like, I don't know, like I'm not a concierge. Um no. But it was also like it was reasonable for him to expect that I was failing. The thing is that I went in and I was like, I'm going to figure out if this is zac Efron or not. So then I asked him where do you live? And he dodged, and then I said, because I'm not unfamiliar with zac Efron's Wikipedia page, I said, I said, are you have Jewish? And he said, well, it's my dad's dad, so I'm like a third Jewish. Oh. I was like, that is someone who learned fractions on a sound stagey he he learned his school in Orlando, Florida. Here's the thing he did invoke seventy three questions and it was mask drag. It was like that, like the night that I was with him, he just like he wanted to prove to you that he could take beer bottle tops off so hard that he just kept opening beer bottles when no one needed to be My god, what is it's not evenstant need exactly what you said to prove my stilenity. He speaks in that fake low voice. Has anyone done a good seventy three questions other than Sarah Jessica Parker, y Don did a good one, and Stone did a really good one. Nicole Kimmins was very Nicole Kimmen, and I love I loved Reese Witherspoon's being very Nicole Kidman's true. I won't say that that makes it good. No to me, as long as it's authentic, it is good ends up on her ranch and by her stables. I hate when she pretends she's super Australian like it's it definitely is on an Australian ranch. Yeah, we's fine. Speaking of the Taylor Swift one was very like, um, what did you give to you? A new singer, get a good lawyer, get a good blog, whatever. Honestly, whenever you seek little peaks of her in that old Taylor, whenever you see little peaks of like what we know as Taylor now, which is like, honestly, I guess more of a real person, and that she's like kind of a bit um. I want that. I kind of love it. I want I I kind of love that she said get a good lawyer, because you know what that was her real answer. But you get Okay, you guys cut your teeth on the fall virginity of people who are pretending to be super nice and now you're experiencing like Disneys women, which do you prefer business women? Now? Business women? Yeah? Because now I know it's now I know too much. Um So, two very talented comics in l A. Test Barker and uh Barbara m. Barbara Gray have a podcast that is just about analyzing Britney Spears is Instagram and my my core damazone just turned to Sandy. My core issue with Britney Spears is like I always want to know that it's a bit who can take care of herself, and like she legally can't take care of right, right right right? I know? I mean, yeah, that's that's the thing is. It's like now that now that I we have them literally putting themselves on Facebook live for seventy two hours, it's like, yeah, sure, like show so you really fucking are I think the media is too sensitive now for these people to keep up these ruses. I think that Taylor's it's convenient that Taylor shift got called out when she did, because literally, I think in the last two or three years you were able to keep up of aneer, whereas now you're not. Like, I don't think she could continue. She very clearly couldn't continue the princess thing, and because she was like a walking, breathing Disney princess that was the whole brand, but that obviously couldn't continue. It wasn't real. So now it's I hate our fictions of young womanhood that are meant to soothe dads, which was her whole thing, Which was her whole thing there. I think it was on like the Verge or something. It was this gigantic essay that was the title of It was just a unified theory on Taylor Swift, which was just reconciling both this like sweet, affable, likable side to her that was also like paired with this like cold, almost fishistic business person and like the parts that we're fascinating were obviously the parts about her being this very cunning business She has this quote where she was no, no, no, this is the first profile they ever done on her, and Rolling Stone was she was baking cookies for her fans because they were over at the house listening. Do you know this story? She was baking cookies for her fans who were over at the house listening to cut from her new album, and she pulls out this tray of gorgeous looking cookies and then she's so excited she's about to go to the fridge to get the milk. She opens the fridge. There's no milk, but there is a bottle of half and half, and she goes, oh, wow, Mom did that. That wasn't me Mom bought that or like, and it was supposed to convey this thing of like she like, just as soon as the veneer cracks on, like this perfect curated thing, it's like it's like a fucking like, I don't I don't want to ust roll, but it's like a no, no, no, it's like it's like a get out thing. It's alwa, just not get out. You need to see get out. It's it's like the flashes being like sort of like the flash bulbus sort of going in her eye and she's like, oh, some thing the matrix is off. You know, yeah it was. It was incredible. It's incredible. It is the thing of however much we wind about being gay guys, like never having to have the full obligation of womanhood and like satisfying someone's expectations of you. There's this britishard historian who has the line um men act women appear, and it is just so devastating to sort of like understand what it is to try to be Taylor Swift when you have this obligation of appearing. Oh no, trust me, I don't. And I don't think I envy her. I think I envy like, you know, obviously how much money she has to have that she can do whatever she wants, but also she can't. So now i'msten into the new album and it's got these uh, you know, casual references to like we met up in a dive bar in the East Village and I'm like, no, you didn't know. You didn't because I went We went to this after party the other the other night, and it was like, she couldn't have been more like protected there, but there were still groups of people out. We were leaving the bar and it was a group with people with reputation signs. I was like, oh shit, this never stops for you. That rumor that she was carried out in a fucking trunk I was like in a box that she got carried out of her apartment in a box. There was no way that was true. But the fact that we live in a world where people were like entertaining that is real. Like, well, she wanted to skip the fans, so she got carried out in the fucking box. That's her life. I am very much of the opinion that you never become that famous without inviting it upon yourself. Like there, she could be Carlie j ray Jepson if she wanted to be, but she didn't. She wanted to be the princess of America, and this is what you get. She wanted to be the most powerful person in the world, and she is. And honestly, that's what's crazy. But I will say that mixed with Okay, I'm gonna be more of my real self is interesting to me because have you listened to the new album at all? Okay, so she's singing about getting fucked for the first time, she sing about she's cursing for the first time, and she's being uh like knowingly petty and bitchy for the first time, whereas it was always like fuck you, I'm the best. And it's because I'm righteous and I know that at the end of the day, I'm right, like but now it's like, oh, I funked up because these are the mistakes I'm making. It's a pattern and I know that. But like the defensive definitely on a lot of it, like she still is who she is, but there's shades of gray now pretending to be dark. It seems like it would be annoying. I have to listen. I do love waiting for you guys. You have no idea. But on the podcast Lady to Lady I did several years before Lemonade call the Coming of Lemonade, I referred to it as the post divorce album because I under and overestimated Beyonce. But like having that actually come was just so like, oh God, you learned a lesson you like you here. This is full of less and that are on top of the astounding pop skills that you had before that. But I also want to say my favorite subgenre of songs is songs where women talk about the female orgasm or just sort of the the idea of like nobody does it better here you come again, but like um son of a Preacher man that are that sort of like deepen special relations. Here You Come Again? About having an orgasm? Um uh yeah, Like it's about like you're something up my mind and filling up my senses. It's like trying to get away from him. It's I've had to drinks now where you come? Yeah yeah, but it's like but it's talking about how his body is able to do things to her that nobody else's can, and so she can't get away my senses. Is there a better description of an orgasm than filling up my senses? There isn't Like she's an amazing lyricist that Dolly she did not write Here You Come Again. Yes, that was one of the fewest she didn't one of the great They rest upon me. Like why why I am always distanced from hipster culture? Is that? Like I like the Dolly Parton song that she didn't write. You know what it was that really discredits your hipster know, I just mean it, it's part of it is part of the enormous castle of poppy sensibilities Like that make me somebody who doesn't care about your singer songwriter status. I want a Swedish computer to write all of your songs. Because that was her quote unquote crossover song. That was her pop song Are You Come Again? Yes, that was the first, so much was it was, But she too had to cross over from country music because she was country country, old opery. She was a grand old opry come on, come on, and she had to before she got to nine to five, and like being played on radio and like being in films with Jane Fonda. You know, she was tree country and she needed and that song came at a time where she was trying to cross over to new fans. It was she still show Attack in many ways the original Taylor Swift because you know, they say Dolly Partner is hiding quite a bit of course. Oh and you guys, like you heard Rosie talking about Waitney, didn't you? Oh? Everyone? What did Rosie specifically said saying everyone knew you of all people bow and yang? She understand the persistent power of the closets. Okay, okay, okay. But the thing is, I read this, do you want going to be truly? Do you want me to truly read? Now? Truly read? How many times did you have to come out gone twice? I know I'm just being in as I love what I have learned from you guys, about this show. I feel like I could steal your mom's identity, Like what do I know about Bowen's mom? That she would have been the surgeon general of China? She had stay that is all. But Katrina clarities like she's been revealed. I can trace her family back to Greece. That's crazy, I can't. I feel like I feel like I've picked up the same this the same sort of textured story of guys sort of upbringing too. But it's just I have no entry I have no entry point in today. I can't just walk up to sacrament like walk into your mom's house in Sacramento and be like, hello, I know so much about no one's allowed to walk into my mother's I text I was one of the many fags that texted you right after I saw Ladybird. I said, you have to go see it, did you? Yes? It meant so much to me that you did that. Uh, that movie like hit me hard. I didn't see It's always well it was. It was fascinating because like, um, nobody ever talked about Sacramento ever, and then other people comes out, which is like very set in Sacramento, and then Ladybird, which is even more Sacramento. Um, and that Greta Gerwiggs reading of Sacramento is so deeply rooted and Joan Diddy and is like the smartest thing ever and the sort of like withholding class, conscious, practical mother that like, it just sort of really hit me hard. And I immediately called my mom and started to fight with her. I just immediately called my mom and was like, we're going to fight for a while. But it was but it was comforting in a way. No, it was wonderful. That movie is so funny, it's so good. It doesn't make you a little bit mad. That credit cardwick is able to a little bit everything. Yeah, and it's you know, I did a movie with Greta Wait was this? I have done I stories about that movie. Can we get into that. We'll talk about later. She played one of Natalie Portman's friends and it was the three of us. That cast is fucking insane. The least interesting person in that cast is the male lead. Yes, I mean what, No, he's terrible. He's a horrible person. I hated working for him. The lowest point in my professional career was going from a situation where after that movie, Ashton Kutcher was actively frightened with me. He was actively aware that a conversation with me, and I never tried to make it happen. I was just trying to be as nice to the famous person as I could, and I couldn't help but accidentally point out ridiculously stupid things that he had said. And we went from that to me having to work for his fucking production company for almost a year. I need to work for him. It was so terrible because then he got to come like when he's paying my rent, he gets to be big dog. Yeah yeah, wait, that makes me sad. That makes me feel like Mila Kunis isn't cool now, I think she's wonderful, Like to me, she seems wonderful. You really want to believe it. I mean, I love I love a good I learned English from The Prices Right Story or or Crystella Alonso. Just we need that, honestly. You know what made me think that Mila was actually a fucking jim Well, the fact that you can feel here and everything she does, like she seems like she's the kind of actress who never plays far from herself because she probably can't. But also like that's fine because we love we got Jupiter ascending queens here? Are there any Jupiter ascending queens here? Jupiter sending is so good? Is good? No? Like it is? We gotta smoke and watch that. It is profoundly about Transnis, Like if I had watched it when I was like eleven or twelve years old, I would have fucking plots and given my life to it. It's not good, but I mean, Eddie Redmaid looks like the most beautiful woman in the world, a fucking, a fucking original ip like I give my life for same. Same these days still gets for like when Star Wars comes out and everything. But but here's what I was saying about Mila in the end credits of Bad Moms, which I just watched again the other day, which we saw and we were a study, and we were gagged for bad moms. We love bad moms, And at the end when they're all talking with their moms, that made me really feel very close to all of them. And I already have been a Christina Applegate stand since seven years old. I deeply, I have long maintained that brunette Christina Applegate provides you with all of you. Jennifer Aniston needs at half the cost. My god, that's rule of culture number three. A brunette Christina Applegate provides you with a the Jennifer Aston needs at half the cost. Guy I saw I saw Bad Moms like across the way on an airplane. I was like, what is that? And I have not let myself watch it because I love a mass market comedy so much, but I was not aware of it when it came out, and it makes me fear that it is going to be like not good a simulation of a good broadcast. I will tell you this, It's not as funny as Bridesmaids, but literally nothing is. And it's actually it's actually funny. It's funny and um or did you not like it? I liked it? No, we all liked we all liked it. I am I have to. I have to point out this weird thing I have with Bad Moms. It's not a thing at all, but it was just something that like was a blip on my radar. I haven't heard this like all like you. You watch the credits, the opening sort of packages like three different Chinese production companies, and like I'm like, oh, is this what Hollywood might be in like a decade or so is like a bunch of like Chinese, specifically Chinese production companies bank rolling all these alright, but also, let me tell you not a bad thing. Look having one's ear to the ground in Los Angeles. There once was a time when I would say, like and having this being marketable in China or India, like you would say that, they would be like, no, no, that doesn't matter, that doesn't matter. A challenge, um, and it is kind of interesting and exciting. Yeah, pretty great that I didn't realize that that it was like Chinese production companies that made that movie. And yeah, and I sort of framed that as like a hang up. It's not a hang up at all. I'm just saying, like, this is a thing I'm noticing, and it starts. I did notice that I didn't recognize the production company. There was another there's another movie that I saw. I think it might have been A Baby Driver that also had all these these these Chinese credits. No, no, it was Edge of seventeen. We have to talk about Hayley Steinfeld. No, no, no, no, no, no, we're saving that for the show. No, but we're gonna talk about it right now. Do you read Chinese? And I can't read to the characters. I can read like maybe five percent of the characters, and they're all the sudden. Because that's the thing where like there's no acquiring skills. You just have to learn the characters individually and then and just know their meanings paired with other characters. It's truly an insane language. Like I started to pick up Korean recently and I was literally doing and I got angry. I started I just started to like learn like the alphabet, and I was like, oh, the fact that there's a phonetic alphabet is so unfair. I'm like, I was, I was mad. I was like, oh, like my upbringing learning this other language, like my quote unquote mother tongue or whatever, is like so much harder than the Korean kids in Denver, and they're and they're everywhere in Denver, um who just grew up speaking Korean and just like being able to read it so easily. And I was like why, like why is that anyway? The factors they have an alphabet but Um of seventeen all the huge Chinese. Yeah. So Bowen referenced Edge of seventeen recently as like one of those new coming age movies that's like actually good that even the critics pointed to him, they said, hey, this want to see. And I was interested because Hailey Stein felt to someone I've always been like mildly interested in. After she got was it MASCAR nomination for she? Ascar nomination for that? And you know, in Pitch Perfect, and then she released interesting that master very much about masturbation song, um gotta lovest else. Hey, we recently learned she's a Republican. Right, Oh that's what. How did you know? Did you tell you I forget Lewis Vertell or one of you on I am it must have been Lewis. Then Joe told us that he we won't say how he knows, but confirmed that she voted for Trump Calabasas like answer is just the West Valley. It is a different and magical place, and apply she talked openly about it on the set of Pitch Perfect, thing about how she was voting for Trump and she's like barely Filipino, also fucking Jewish, right, like she's a jew of color technically Filipino Jewish. And you know what, guy, it was me. It was, oh my god, that's how wasted I am of like up here at all times, I was the one that said, as you. I was like, gud, we have horrible news. Thank you for apprising me of that. Matt. I still have not seen Edge of seventeen because there is a way that I will get like frightened of these things that could be something I enjoyed greatly, or just like pointing. I'm the same way. Whenever there's like a big I'm like that would get out. I'm like that with Ladybird right now. Whenever there's like a big thing everyone's talking about, I'm like, let me take a second and I will see it. I still haven't. No, I won't even say that. What come on, come on, I still haven't seen other people because I know I'm going to enjoy it so much and I know it's going to affect me so deeply that I'll be out for in a weekend. It's also one of the other fascinating things about it, my friends, is just realizing how like the telling game mail stories is about silence in such significant ways that figuring out how to tell them is interesting. Brian Louder and Slight Magazine are Slate once said that he questioned whether it was possible to tell like emotionally relevant gay mail stories without some elements of fantasy to them. And I love that a great deal, um, because like other people is so good. Okay, I have to tell you. In Other People, there is a moment where Jesse what's his name sits behind um Molly Shannon while she puts on makeup and he talks to her while she is getting ready to go to this party that they're having at their house. And it was like a thing from my life that I had never seen represented me. That was like the like I hate I have a passionate hatred of fucking representations of boys and their dogs or dad's throwing footballs with their son, fuck you and your head normative like like normality. But seeing this equivalent of that from my life, I was just like wrecked. I think you're saying that I can smell the hair spraying. Yes, yes, the most glamorous woman in the world is Katrina Clara. She is she is and you and yeah, and specifically hairsprayed for you just because of what your mom did does. Yeah, I mean we literally had a salon, a little salon hair yeah, she's we had. It was like a gay boys dream. We had like a little salon in her house where she would have clients and she'd work out of the house a couple of days a week, and then she works in the shop as well, like one of two days a week, and uh, I would just have that room to do my hair in the morning. Have you seen called me by your name yet? Or if you like not, have you read it. I'm reading it now, and I'm i gotta say, I'm not fully on board yet with just the pacing of it, because I'm just like, there, it's just tense staring there there. Nothing has happened yet. Apparently there's a peach scene that I'm supposed to be waiting for you. No, but I mean, that's the horrible thing about our stories is that there is so much fear involved because there's so much like like pausing and everything. Um, it's it's all of it is just waiting. That's yeah, that's that's part of like the gay narrative is just like some repression of a moment. Sorry, I'm like I was trying to remember the thing that that I when I'm saying it was this that like when they made a movie version of The Handman's Tail, it was terrible and when they made the TV version, it's great. The difference is v O. The difference is being inside of her head and realizing she's still a person like you. And I feel like with a with a novel, when you're dealing with law intense looks, you're able to sort of like fill it up Henry Jane style with like what people, what's going on inside? But like when it's a fucking movie like so frequently look. My opinions on looking are very well recorded, but I like, I don't want this boring gay story where nothing happens and people are scared all the time. I don't need realism. We live in every fucking day. We're tired of it. So that's what it is. It's just every gay narrative needs some element of fantasy. People give us some bomb best, you know. I mean, come on, it's rule number sixteen of culture. Give us some bomb best. Come on, guy, let's finally get to the question. No, I feel like it's too late for that. I feel like we need to take a break because we literally at the moment where we get back. When we get back, bitch, that is when we have to ask Guy Brandon the the you know, pinnacle question of this podcast, and because we've been having too much goddamn fun, we're not going to get there. And then he says he has a question for us. Oh, I can't wait for something. But before we get to our break, let's read a five star review. We're gonna do this, um, you know, we're gonna try something out I think a little bit new. These are some five star reviews from our Apple podcast page. Guys, please leave us a fin I hope that you will leave us a five star review, because you, guys, we want, we wanted to be seen out there in the world, you know, get us out there, help us get visible. Honey. This is um a review submitted by Ka with many exclamation points. The title of this review is barbar. It's a reference to our Christian Bartlett episode five stars. This podcast regularly makes me laugh out loud. For a dead inside, black souled monster like me, that's saying quite a bit. Ca. Well, thank you, car and thank you for submitting your review like a true barbar bitch. Now we we love you so much. Let's cut to our break. We'll be right back with Guy Brandow Yes, and we're back with Guy sure Are and before we took the break, we we did tease that we would ask this question. Let's ask the question you ask so, um, guy brand Um, this is the question that we ask every guest that appears upon lost cultures. Thus, I'm entirely unfamiliar with that happens upon ared for it in any way. Well, um, we'd like to ask you, what is the culture that you know? It's the culture that when you when you opened the door one day, there it was, you know, it was it was a little package of culture and it said you picked it up and shook it from ear to ear and you said, whatever is inside here, this is going to be what sets me on a journey, and that that journey is culture. That journey is your individual culture. This is not your standard phrasing, your standard phrasing. Is what made you realize cultures for you? And after having like parsed this question significantly to myself and trying to figure out what, like where is the starting point when do we say, like I jumped off the rails of conventional humanity. Uh, The answer that I had very much prepped that like what made me realize culture was for me was Deborah gene Brandim the City, California. Um. But since you have said what culture, I suppose I have to give you another answer. No, no, no, whatever answer you want, honey, I will not be responsible for you listening about to this and saying, wow, I didn't represent myself culturally in the way that I would like, because that, like so many people do, come here with like a concrete text. And when I was thinking about it, I thought a lot about um like uh like Greek mythology, I thought about a lot. I thought about the Lord of the Rings. But I also very significantly thought about like it used to be before cable that old movies were shown on UHF stations in the summertime. Do you know anything about that? None of those words mean anything to you. Don't know, I don't know. Okay, So there were there were stations that were your networks, your NBC, your ABC, your CBS. This is before Fox, and then you would have like three other channels that were just like whatever the funk they could put together, like it was where you watched your cartoons after school. Um. And then during the summertime when there was not like network stuff being shown, the ones in Sacramento which show old movies. But because it was Sacramento. They could not they couldn't afford all about Eve, like they couldn't afford the Philadelphia story. And so the two I will particularly say are arsenic and old Lacey and bell Book and Candle. I will say Arsenic and old Lace does not hold up. No, it doesn't. It doesn't carry Grant movie The Woman You're Going to Love The premise nobody. This guy lives in Brooklyn and he goes to take his new bride to meet his two aunts. And his two aunts are serial murders. They're putting, they're putting poison. They get they get older bachelors and who they think are sad, and then they like believe that they are humanly euthanizing them. And then they have his brother, who believes he is Teddy Roosevelt bury them in the basements. It's kind of like get Out, Yes it is. Wow, it's all that's sort of connecting back to get Out. That's fun. No. I was actually thinking about it today because, like the original play was read as sort of like a commentary on the tension between America wanting to be so libertine and like our dark history, and I was sort of like interesting what is a racialized, arsenic and old lace. Let's step forward. Let's let's talk about bell book and candle. Okay, I'm not familiar. What is bell book and candle? Okay. So it's in the mid nineteen fifties. Kim Novak is a sassy witch who lives in the West Village. Jimmy Jimmy Stewart lives in her building, and she finds out that he is engaged to the girl who was her bully at Vassar or Radcliffe. Like it's we're talking about college bully from a seven sister school because let us remember most Ivy League schools do not let women in until the eighties. Um, So she has a spell making him fall in love with her. It's a nine teen fifties movie. So in the end she does realize that being in love is more important than being a witch, and it all falls apart and is terrible. But guys, the like which culture is all sort of like like beat nick West Village underground bar, like it's the coolest fucking thing you've ever seen, and Kim Novak is just like never not being glorious and wearing capri pants like it's just she saunters like a cat. Every fucking moment elsa Lanchester and her minemy Gangold, who are like, yes, like it is just classic biddies and like as a child on like a sweaty sweaty like Sacramento Valley, like evening in the summertime was just like this is like raw glamour like to me. To me like witchcraft and French breeding felt like things that were just out of reach that all women understood. So how do you fall load the like pop culture which is ever since you Stevie Nicks fan? Yes, I love pop culture, which is I hate when whiches go away from us. I love when which is returned to us, which is are returning? I like we had long vampire period that I had no taste for. No, but also even true blood they had witches, which is no. I think witches have been a perennial sort of have had this perennial appeal for just since time and memorial. Um, I feel like witches have always been with us, wouldn't you say? I would bowen gang like they eben flow along with everything else. Female agency. Female agency has its moments in pop culture and then they go away. Practical magic was a beautiful moment, but you point me to good witches of the early two thousands, Sabrina, Sabrina, I don't know if that counts. It was from the nineties, wasn't it. I guess you can tell you guys. Can I sell you guys? A spoiler from um from Talk Show The Game Show season one point five it's not technically a second season. Uh, Melissa john Hart and Caroline Rain did the show together? No, it was just twin things of In the middle of my interview completely on prepped, I brought up an interview she did one time where she talked shit at ABC for overpromoting Clueless the TV show and not Sabrina the Teenage which and it was one of the most baller moments I've ever seen from her, and she like clearly loosened up when that happened. But then watching her compete against Caroline right was one of the most satisfying things to talk about that. Okay, so what happened show that we can temn about it. That's all I want to know is how Melissa john Hart and Caroline Race shows off show down? What about Ann Zelta? Oh, Beth Beth Roderick was not pressed. She wasn't available. Wait they were on the same episode. Passed for a moment because I need to we need to properly discuss the piece of culture that you guys have brought to me meant the most to name, right, This is the question you don't want to ask. He's come with a demand to the studio. Yes, can we can? We guess? First? Is I don't? I don't know? Guess guess I like I like gamifying anything. What piece of culture have we brought That's one of the rules of culture. Isn't it that culture? UM? That experience, that experience. What piece of culture have we introduced to God that he has loved? Trying to think he's reached out about any particular thing, anatomy, I have reached out, not to you guys. What Oh my god, you know what? I give up? Okay, well, what if I want to know? I want to know um. On an earlier episode of this podcast, you referred to two people as being I believe you personally met. Matt Rodgers referred to two people as being the finest sketch performers in New York. Do you remember at all? Oh my god, Gosh, Warms in New York? Was it Darcy and Michael. No, it's uh Brita and Maven. My god, yes, okay, so yep, Brin and Maven McNerney. The parents are Beth Newell and Peter McNerney. You can follow them on Instagram, and they have glorious performer children. I look, I do not give a shit about your dog. I don't care if you're captain something in doorable, I don't care at all. I like myself a nice three year old. Makes me feel very very creepy to be looking at the children of somebody I didn't know. So I like said to Beth, Hello, I'm just letting you know your children are the greatest sketch performers in New York. And like they aren't so funny funny, they are so great. And like Brin like I was trying to figure it out today and like he thinks that are so in age. He's like and he's just he's just such a character. He's just like a suave three year old, just suavely letting you know how it's going. And then like and then you go to Maven, who is that agent of chaos and you never know what's going to happen, and I have to tell you the most exciting moment in my pop culture life was an incident at the party where he was he was doing a little bit like, uh, Maven needs a time out, and he's like very much like telling his little powder to his parents, trying to manipulate things, and then Maven, who I did not know could speak, screams know at him, and it was just like ship I went there to be like a reunion episode where An interviews everyone about that moment. Honestly, he also had a really sassy moment recently where he said, um, I'm not going He was just like he kept repeating, I'm not going to be nice to my friend or or I'm we have to find miss Emily says that hitting is okay, I'm going to hit my friend. Oh my god, Bran is on record. They were like, really, if we call your teacher, she's going to okay and she go he goes yeah, like he's I'm trying to think about what because it's like classic comedy duo and like he's a little bit Jennifer Saunders like I'm trying to find it. You keep talking, but just like he's like he's always got powder going and I love like it's it's so vaudeville that there's one who talks and talks too much and one who can't talk. Well, you have to follow um Peter McNerney at mcnan at m I c N E n and then Beth hers is. And the thing is, you got to Beth for the short form content, you got to Peter for the long term concept. Dethel b E t h N E W l L. All right now I have to find really quickly. I want to say Brenn has been has has been documented as saying the words I don't think so, honey, No he did, he said it. He said, Wait, what are you looking for? I'm looking for the comedy sense of Bill. Cities of Peter and Beth are are like their capabilities are so evident from the way they just know how much of them to capture and when to go to the other one. We're both amazing. It's the edit and the content in a perfect marriage. And oh god, yeah, you know what. I never realized that it was the spot vilion thing of like one doesn't speak and then one is always, always always speaking, always talking. Then maybe pours a beer on somebody. Oh my god, maybe maybe. I thought it's interesting that you say maybe is sort of this agent of chaos, because I feel like maybe is just the past. You hate your friends? She said, you could hit your friends. Yes, she said, just said your friends fast. I don't think she said that. I think she said no hitting your friends. She said, should we asked her on my day? Should we asked her if she said that, yes, send me your to talk to me and my friends and get my friend. The conversation ends of the declarative sentence, not a response to any of that's been said. It's just I'm done with this conversation, and just to refresh the thesis of it was I'm going to continue hitting my friends. But I was respond to your point because yes, for such a long time, Maven was a pansy. But like like her as a younger child, her growing rage, like, I just look forward to the forms that it takes. Also, she's her mouth is always somewhat wet. There's probably jelly on her somewhere. They're two amazing kids, they really are. I one time there was some early videos of brit I was act at the comedic capability. I was like this is how did you become aware of them? Because I'm good friends with the parents, so I mean through no, no, no. We do UM Story Pirates, which is a company that takes stories that kids right, and you know what, it's rule number thirteen culture bitch. It's not just for the viewers now, Peter McNerney, they turned them into pieces of theater. We take kids, they write stories were trying to pieces of theater. Peter McNerney is the associate artistic director of this company. And my first contact with Brynn was when he was like six months old. He's on his high chair and this was the first comedic moment that I think is on record is um Peter. Peter does like a little thing with his mouth and then Bryn copies him and does it like six months old, and then Peter laughs and Bryn laughs, and just I mean, maybe there's no meeting thing there, but the fact that he's able to repeat something back to his father, Oh my god, get out. It's amazing. It's like, it is wonderful. What makes children like the things that hit them as laughter? And I wonder how much of them are copied or how much of them are just sort of like two things that shouldn't go together are now happening. Yes, yes, which is comedy. Yes, Yes, Okay, let's let's have this conversation kids. Yes or no. I would say for me no, because I feel like I would know now at twenty seven that I would want them at some point, at the height of your fertility exactly. I'm in my sexual prime. By the way, the male sexual prime is so that means we're all out of it. Dang. Yes, I was implying you were a woman. I wasn't trying any way to comment your male sexuality. No, I would be just entering my sexual prime, which is of course from But the thing is is like it is nice that as a man you can have them whenever, but also you shouldn't have them whenever. No. I well, I always kind of come from myself. My dad had me when he was thirty five, and so that's always like, well, I have time. You know. My parents were eighteen and nineteen when my sister was born, and there is that, like there's such weirdness around the fact that like they were never adults without children, like it is that's crazy those people can have children. My grandmother was seventeen, Yeah, that's that was just how things worked. It was like, that's what women are for seventeen Yeah, I can't imagine. I can't imagine either, he can. God, the lost culture rests public need a sense of healing after trash talking that came around Culture Wars, because God knows, I loved Culture Wars and I loved playing the game of hostility. But they were you were a team, and it was really hurtful. No. I specifically took opposite sides on two different questions in ways that tore me up. Yes, yes, I took Race Honey over Allison. Um there was Allison, right, she got too sick to compete, and so Mitro Juhari sweet Mitra took her place. Yes, but but probably because you said that. Yes, Um, then you picked Sam over Dave. But then I took Sam over Day. Why would you ever do that? Tore me apart? Because Sam Tigger is just a well of chaos. I like. I love it. I love that the Brooklyn Faget comedy scene is rich enough that we can have like absurdist of his skill level. But I love that he's still a gay comic enough that he can I don't think so, Honey, with the best of them. There you go, but not still not as well as Dave Sam has his foot and a bunch of has many feet, a bunch of legs and feet, and a bunch of different little territories and sensibilities and what have you, and t six seeds in all. All right, Well, I would like to, I guess, come out and say that if anything that I said really hurt you, if I ever hurt you in the trash talking of culture two seventeen, I apologize because now I know I didn't need to say anything because I was going to win the whole time. Can I just I just can I just say it was lovely to watch the process, just to see like you've got all of your Long Island rage from all of those boys who were mean to you, that it is just like dying to come out in any moment. Uh, And I love that process oriented peacemaker bow and Yang was always trying to explain why things like when you went into well, the picks I made were me trying to avoid conflict. I was like, bitch, believe in your own post. I was offended. He started. He was like, oh, you know, but why, it's why At the end of the day. I was team Bowing because I was like conflict avoid and rules. Yeah, because you know what, like, I don't like it. I don't like this whole culture, which is we don't want to root for people that want to win that I wanted to win and guess what I won again. I want again. I want Battle of the Davits. I want a culture. I am so much better than you, and it is so amazing for me. Matt could do a favor. Don't want me because now I'm mad the worst part of all of this better, it's yet another it's yet another competition with which Matt will relitigate. Yes I do. I do very much appreciate now, mad. I have been in this business long enough that I fear for people I truly love and respect who do not believe in themselves to want to win at any costs, and so I do very much. I do want to say one thing drop back dropping a lot of this. Yes, okay, I want to say one thing. Literally, I had people asking me like, I was like, who do you who are you rooting for? Like as like a joke, and they're like, well, I'm rooting for bod because I think that you'll take the loss a little bit better than Bowen. I was like, if you knew how little we actually cared, like we don't care who wins, it would have a good fucking show. Bitch, I don't care who wins. I truly give no ship. But people were like, I guess they were believing the ship talk enough when they were and this is maybe we shouldn't be revealing this because we will should talk again, want to believe it and be in there with it. But girl, we were okay, there was no her feelings. And then that's when I realized, oh no, I can't say the same things for the competitors. And I hope that none of the competitors feel bad that they might have lost a k a lost around because they all were amazing like that when you guys were doing the breakdowns. I enjoyed that episode so much, like the backstory was so rich and beautiful. Um, but I was just like, really, were I have to say one thing about part one of Cultural Works. It's like, after you guys did the breakdowns of everyone, I went back and I really listened to uh before the storm, these young girls, the young girls, which is in my opinion, possibly the greatest I don't think so, honey, that's ever been produced, not by the two of you. Uh. And then just seeing Pat go down so hard, so hard in that first round was really rough. And then to know what happened, which is that he hasn't listened to the second You haven't. You haven't, you haven't, you haven't posted it yet. How would I knowsteners at a time of this release, it hasn't oposed it and it is well known who wins culture right, well, we basically just spoiled it. I don't know. I don't, I don't want to, don't don't you want to allow me to be a fan? Also, if you guys need to build a fantasy team website so hard before you do Culture Wars again, because maybe we'll go out to l A and do Culture Wars where I don't give a funk if they get offended or not, because I don't know them. Like Lewis, we Tell and I were talking about how much we need you guys to come and do Culture Wars. We want to come out there and do it, we really do, but I think I think we need to. How do you what do you think about this? We need to start with the regular I don't think so, honey. Yes, I think we just need to go out there and do and I don't think that. And then can I say something like, from the bottom of my heart to both of you. When I go to the Virgil or CB Sunset or wherever this actually takes place, and I see just how packed the place is, and then every faggot of note who was not booked for the show is in the audience, I will be jealous. I will be actively like two young men pretty, Oh my god, don't you ever? Don't you ever? You have a fucking joy show. Know, we emitted packets and we're around packets and jealousy. You told us he gave us hope. That's because there was a packet that referenced Lost Cultures does and what I assumed it was one of the two of you, And I was like, oh, this great packet. It's wonderful someone someone wrote a packet to your show in reference. Yes, it was, because it was because fucking star Rashida Crockett, who did end up getting hired from my shows as a fucking research monster, who, like for every person, had done like deep, deep research. And I was and what did what was do you remember the reference? Oh, it was that Rachel Bloom had said on this show that she loved peanut butter on toast for breakfast. So it was a pitch for a game that was in some way about peanut bar on toast. The fact that we helped this person get a job and and and lay here pennelists. Um, I will say that your shout outs on Pop Rocket gave us like the lasting boost that we like have been No. I was totally at the gym and a guy came up to me and said, I know his name is Nico's friend. Yes, And he was like, are you guy? And I was like yes, and he's like I'm a huge fan of Lost Culture Ristas and I was like oh. And then he explained how he learned about it from my podcast, of which he did not miss. I guy were at He pursued He he his media diet is all podcasts. He listens to everyone. I'm sure he listens to Pop Rocket. Religious have to say something I like After the election, I had a hard not able to listen to podcasts in any way. And my recent like car trip to Sacramento and Lost Culture Restas was my return to being able to listen. To my god, we were. We were Christina Yank Sandra's character catching a big fish after not being able to operate. Oh my god, I I do remember when she had like postraumatic stress and couldn't operate. Yes, and then she caught a fish and all of a sudden was better. Right. Um No, I wanted to say, guy, your shout outs on Pop Rocket were. Um, I think they were. They were a moment for me because I had never heard someone so actually described me and Matt in such a simple way. You described me as well. You described Matt of course in his like you know, he's a product of Long Island masculinity, and here he is now and he's the biggest of all faggots now, which is glorious, Like what a great one eighty, what a great heel turn musical theater? Yes, yes, I believe. And then for me you described me as part someone but part Crystal Carrington. And I was like, oh my god, and I fucking died because you are You are a fucking Joan. You're the Joan Collins to Mike Crystal. You're the Alexis to Mike Crystal. Oh and guy, that was very nice of you to to mention us A big fan of the show, glad to finally be here, piste Off, I was not able to be here for either Culture Wars or I don't think so, Honey Lives. It makes me angry, but also it will drive us to come out there. When will be a good time for us to come out there to Los Angeles? Tell us, um, I mean anytime if you showed up, I mean like the danger but also the magic of showing up splashly in February. Well everyone's there for Pilot's season. That would be a little fierce. It would be. But where should we do it though? Because I don't want I want to. I want to do it at a good place. I mean something is I do imagine this in my head where where Like it's always been at the Virgil in my head. But I don't think that's big enough. Well, l A Lost Cultures does fans? You let us know in your five star review on iTunes where you want us to come. I have never been able to get the l A Game Lesbian Center to uh to toss their theater, which is magnificent and anything, but I haven't tried any realize how many does it hold? Oh that theater? Like then I get nervous about that makes me will be fine? I don't know. I don't know. Although Culture was fun because it was a fucking warehouse villain. It was crazy. Bone and I walked in and we were like, no, this is insane. It looks like it looks like the kind of place where they go and sv you and they're like, well, we found some part of her over here, and some pot are over over here. It's like a warehouse and a heist movie that are always the most fun. The thing I love most of it. Were you there? Well? Fucking sorry, Why weren't you there? What else did you have going on? God? What was I doing? Okay? Well, then obviously it wasn't very good. Okay were you doing traps? Were you doing traps? No? No, I wasn't doing any traps. What do you do instead of traps? What kind of things are you into? What? What kind of music making am I into? Or what I thought you said? I thought you were saying traps. And in the physical exercise I was was oh, no, no, no. As far as the physical exercise, but it's mostly stage handing and downhill skateboarding. Or this. Okay, okay, look it's and it's doing it's it's doing you plenty of favor. Can I can I tell you my opinion on skateboarders. Let the straight girls have them guys for whom that is true. Oh it's so real and masculine and all of that. Let let the straight girls. How don't speak for himself, let him speak. I'll just say that there is one gay downhill skateboarder out there who was a fantastic photographer and an amazing dude named Matthew Doubler, and you should check him out. He's all over Instagram, all over the place. The guy is a fucking shredder. You should check him out, honestly, for I do you think the gays will look up Matthew something Dublin, Matthew Maxwell Doubler, Maxwell Story Doubling. Can I say something truly horrible when Tim Murray did his I don't think so, honey, about his bully from Ohio which you couldn't see this, but he was doing Costom Reveal on Costom Revealstom. Yeah, you couldn't see it, but I did go on Facebook and find his bully to figure out whether he was actually bald hot or not? And what's the verdict? Not really, I did that. I don't think I will look at this skateboarder. Look. I think there's a sensitivity to them, really, but that's to the skateboarders. The skateboarder. Do you think skateboarding is an art or something? I don't. I don't have any opinion either way. I just I remember many days, how's the days of watching these boys play Tony Hawk and just secretly pining for them? So you know that's that's my thing, all right? Well, with that information, I think that it actually is time to move on to I don't think so. Honey, Now are you ready? Do you do you have one composed three options? Would like the two of you to look at them now and determine which one you would. Oh, you want us to look at the topics themselves? You know what? I don't want to. I think look at the topics these allow er. No, Well, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Sorry, we're just I think I would be most interested to hear this. Yeah, I love that. I think that's too. Think this will change minds. But first people what they are? All right? No? Okay, So the first one that we did not choose is the children have forgotten. See if this where the children have forgotten that sent we could do this. The children have forgotten the gun and Betty loose handbag. You have no idea what that is now? I don't know what that is. I mean, it's the greatest Alfree Wodd vehicle. I love Alfre word, but I don't know that. Yeah, no you don't because it's not available on streaming, it's out of print on DVD. It is gentle early nineties comedy where we said Penelope and Miller can totally be the front person for a movie and we were wrong. But it is the most watchable film you will ever see. And part of me is like, somebody needs to get the I P to this and turn it into a musical because it would be so into This one is people who watch Will and Grace but not Great News? Are you into great news? I'm a deep supporter of great news. Great news is very, very funny. We're losing our Andrea Martin on difficult people. We need to conserve our Andrea Martin. It's super super funny like it is goofy, and I like, I deeply believe in funny sitcoms, and I think it's like that we have raised this zombie, this Revenant of willing Grace, and it is good and people are watching it and they're not investing in the funny comedies of today. Sure like we're just gonna end up in a world who lose casual in Netflix's love and we will get what we deserve. Okay, yes that's fair. And you know what? It has a friend of the pod, Naomi Paragan rites for it, and then Tina fe plays the female Jack Donnegie of we mean, what else do you need? And Andrew Martin let's watch it. I didn't know that Naomi Real's doing there. Um, so then he's done two voices for it thus far, really exciting little vo You take this and you're gonna go last okay, and the reveal will be in the actual I don't think somehow, Now are you gonna go? First time? Am I gonna go? For? You should go? Because I truly don't know. It's shocking that you never prepare. Okay, well, all right, well I'm just saying I don't think so, honey, Bowen that he never prepares this never once, and maybe no it's not. But I'm also saying maybe it's why he consistently loses tournaments. Al Right, okay, al right, it hurts me when you do that. Well, I don't care that it does. Come to play indignant. Okay, here we go. This is I have a vicious I don't think so, this says Matt Rodgers. Is I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. That Billy Eigner is too famous for us. Now, Bitch, I'm sorry, but I don't want to go to my Instagram and you're hanging out with Colton Haynes, who also was not for us, despite being one of us. Billy, I'm sorry, but it is difficult people being canceled because you were too famous for it. You all of a sudden, you're wearing really nice suits, being all sexy and handsome. It came out of nowhere. But I and you know I supported. All of a sudden, you are fucking Coulton hands on the American horror story. Bitch. That is a very famous, that is a very fancy all of a sudden, Billy was one of the fancy boys. We used to say we should ask Billy to be on. I don't think so, honey alive. And then I recently had to tell Bowen, no, the bitches to fancy. He is too fancy. Hanks that with Golden Hayes. All of a sudden, he has his high hair. He's giving you this like hot, like nineteen fifties retro sort of thing, sleeves rolled up. Literally, Billy come back to us. I don't think so, honey till that one minute. You know what, Yeah, you're right, I think he is untouchable. Now he's become the person that he's made fun of. He's the abyss is stared backs, you know. But we love him still. He's wonderful. Uh he did talk to the Game show and was super super sweet and super super great. But I just want to say, what a get Nowadays, I look forward to playing this to a truly insufferable thirty three year old that Roger. I look forward to, like again the arms that your personal trainer has gotten for you, and the like the tense condescension that he'll give me, understanding understanding that I'm I might go for the gut about I knew you when girl, and like he's praying and it doesn't happen, but he's still skating on top of condescension. He's gonna toss me right aside. There is no way, bitch, honestly. Also, no, this is not gonna happen. I'll tell you why it's not gonna happen, because they're gonna go back to I don't think so, honey, And they're gonna find me talking about all these celebrities. They're gonna find that I talk shit about Ellen an episode three with Sudi and they're gonna, well, we can't book him on Ellen's And let me just re quote this again. Ellen has lost all her edge. She has lost her edge. I think, yes, it's pathetic. Who like, is she a comedian anymore? She's not a haircut she knows Ellen is, so she's an emojing. Al Right, here we go. I'm ready, you know what. I'm semi prepared for that. I'm happy to hear that this is Bowen yangs. I don't think so, honey, And time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Turtlenecks. My neck is too short for you. And listen, I have friends who pulled them off so well. Dave Mazzoni, professional choreographer. Dave Mazzoni has the swan like neck for it. My friend Matt over here has the neck for it. I don't have the neck for it. And you want to know what you don't want to You want to know why I've proven this out today because I thought I was gonna be bold and we're a new unique clow turtleneck that I that I bought this weekend and I wore to work, and I can no matter how I cuffed, it looked terrible. I looked like a fucking I don't know what what even like like a little pokemon. I looked like a little digglet. I looked like a little digglet. And I can't pull off turtlenecks. And I if I can't have turtlenecks, then no one can. I don't think someone a turtlenecks. Why why should we cover up our necks? No one's giving nickis anymore. There's no practical utilitarian purpose for them anymore. And I don't think we should have them in fashion illegalized turtle necks, I say, I don't think so many fucking turtle Next you know what. Army Hammer wore one in the shoot and he looked crazy at it. I don't think I do. I feel like I can visually, really viscerally, see visually really visceral. No, see Army Hammer in one as of very recently, because yeah, he's doing all these interviews or call me by your name. It looks amazing and that is the style. Now these turned out to the leather jacket over it and pattern pants Liniko. He said he's coming to I don't think so any and he was concerned about being cold, and he said, but don't worry. I brought a bunch of turtlenecks. He'll settle down with some nice lawyer and you'll always know you can't have two lawyers. Is he's a lawyer like you, guys, the best, like the best people to be fans of your work are gay lawyers, because it's like they got the money to show up and like the education to get the jokes. And it is like, OK, so there's this guy who listens to proper Rocket whose name is Dmitri Portnoy, and he was like, well, if somebody else is going to post it, I guess it will. And he fucking wrote the brief that like all of the biggest First Amendment scholars in America like got him and some other lawyers to write a brief that was their opinion about the First Amendment for the Colorado Bakery case, and it was just like fuck you, Like like you're writing Kathleen Sullivan's brief, were like, you're a godgame superstar, why do you come to my show? Better that? Better that than the reverse. Just these like gays who are the smartest people in the world, who write for fucking Vulture and Slate and should be saving us from North Korea, but instead they're writing about how you know Mercedes were well, did she really deserve the oscar in ninety two? Guys, I saw torch Song showed you last night and it was so good, And I have to say, um, a not great facelift has never fit more perfectly on a character. That's the second rave we've had for show. It's on this program. I just couldn't adore Michael Jury more. And that's the second rape Drew d we had on last episode, and he raved up and down about about Michael Jury. I want to get Michael Lury on this show. That would be a great guy. I think Michael Urry. I want to ask him about Ugly Betty. I want to ask him about Becky Newton. I want to ask him about Cocktails and Classics, which which Drew was awesome on. I have to say I adore Becky Newton. I know that she's probably somewhere like on a procedural or something. Also, I need you guys not understand that I was recurring on a multiicam that Michael Ury was on that was essentially died the week that I shot my first episode that it was so you can't connect the dots that way. Can I tell you what? We just audition for Ballers on HBO? Can you fucking imagine into the same stuff this week? And it's Ballers and HBO. We're just for the well groomed assistant who has a twitch in his eye. Anyway, how did you do the twitch? Show me? No you do you go first? No? No, no, it wasn't even that, you know, it wasn't even that bad. It was more it was more like it was like that, you guys, this is hard podcasts. They are and literally you have to give people something to wonder about. Okay, this is guy Brandham's I don't think one of this is the selected topic, and he has he's ready to go. This is legend. I first of all, we should just stop and just gave his own book to stank face. He was like already ago. Bit, let's just say this is a huge moment that a lot of the listeners will be gaged just that this episode is even existing. Literally honestly, this is well, we'll talk about it, okay. Addresses guy Brandams. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. People who don't respect I don't think so, honey. Oh you love your cute little jokes. Oh he dresses like a short grandpa. Oh yes, I like said. He is probably a Republican, but he is a pop machine. He makes chams. He has given us as much good as like he's worth five spice girls like timber fucking Fireball. If you cannot respect a song called Sexy Beaches Hotels, you deserve to lose the ability to orgasm because you shouldn't have the capacity to joy. Your hate is needed. It is failure to provide you with the symbols of culture that you understand. If he were giving you standard like black hip hop guy, you would have his face tattooed on your thigh. But because he dresses like a small business owner from Palm Beach, You're life. No, I cannot. I canna deal with it. When when U fucking cho was making her chump over to America, who took care of her? It was you? You are better than pimple. But I do not think so, Honey. That's one minute his life. You love. That one made my day. That's the best one I've heard yet. That's one for the back. Wow, that was great. You know what Tonight I'm gonna go home, and before I shut my eyes, I'm gonna say, and you know what time of my life? Yeah? I mean, look, can I just say those Choper songs are not good, but are wonderful talking. I'm talking about exotic, I'm talking about in my city? Are they about? Like they are all sort of like thematically like in my city. He's talking about Miami and she is talking about Mumbai. Um sing, yes, she doesn't sing in her own movies. Also, I just need to say this to you and to everyone listening. Culturally, Bollywood, I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry is possibly the best romantic comedy I have ever seen. I will buy it for both of you on iTunes. It is three hours long, five musical numbers. It's almost entirely in English. It is the most fun rom com, like gay rom com was like one Legit Hot Guy. It's literally just called I never pronounced to check. It's called dostana. It means friendship, but it's they have to pretend to be apartments and a very layered hair. Prianka Chopra is the girl who couldn't live with two straight guys. I love it. I love it, I love it, I love it. You know what, Bollywood has been a blind spot in culture for me, and I need to you know what. Yeah, I I need to get into Bollywood, I think, and I think Matt is going to be my partner in this because I'm just now getting I'm such a late arrival on K pop. But I love I have Brandon. Scott Jones Um just did a movie with as you were in it as well, you were in a movie with well, I mean we didn't share some but I was at the tablor Rooter with her. She was gorgeous, he said, prettier in person. Yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah, Scott Jen said that he did have some scenes to yes, and like she was pulling up a video of like her dancing or something, and he was like, oh, I didn't know you could dance. She was like, yeah, I'm a huge fucking bolly. That. The fact that they demand, they demand choreography out of all their fucking stars is the best professional. Okay, guy speaking, because I love when Because okay, we haven't we haven't listened to you on Pop Rocket for a while. What are your jams? Tell us jams? What are you what are you hitting the streets hard for? I mean, like these days, I'm very much all about Ladybird. It gave me life and jams, pies. It's just a lot of piple you guys like it really is. It's celebrate, it's sexy beaches, hotels, it is fireball. How about this. We're going to name some things and you tell us if they're your jam. Okay, you go as an example, Um pink Oh, it is my jam in all of its form, both as color and human being. Okay. Um Demi Levado new Demi Vado, Yes, definitely my jam. Um louis for tell a new host of Pop Rocket. I mean, I hate that It's like every time I like see you on Twitter that people are like quoting something glorious that he put together, I'm like, God, are they even gonna let me back? So, yes, it is my jam okay um, And I'll ask this because I'm surprised Matt hasn't Kelly new Kelly, I haven't listened. Okay, that's all we had time today for guy. Oh No. When I associated with Kelly Clarkson before, like one time, insidentially in conversation, I implied you might like her, and you prickled so hard. Yes you did that. You were very That's not the entirety of my identity. Well it's not, but I do love. And also I feel literally the entire episode of wrap Up Show that I was on over at Stern was because Kelly Clarkson was on that day and I did that. I was the Kelly Clarkson expert. Yes, that was why I was booked. Like, but I also will say I'm almost a little upset that we did all that ship. We talked about Taylor so much, and I have not had a chance to sit here and tell the listeners of Lost Cultures that I am personally offended and disappointed if you all haven't streamed Meaning of Life or bought Kelly Coxton's album Meaning of Life on iTunes or streamed it on Spotify, because it is so fucking good. There are some tracks on it which are so amazing. She sounds so much better than she ever has, which is crazy to even say, but it's the first time she sounds it alive in a week in her music and not bored. And I'm so happy. The new album is so good. And also it's been such a good time, good season for female pop releases because Taylor is very good. The Demi Lovito album is really good. I haven't really gotten through the Pink album, but I know that what I've heard is good, and the Kelly album is oh my god, it's so amazing, I'll tell you. The only one that I can't really get into is Miley Young now to a couple of tracks. Um but yeah, but it's a good time for the ladies. Sure there you go. Um well anyway, but this is what I what I was getting out earlier before Guy started as I don't think so honey, this, um, this is a huge. This is such a pleasure. We love you so much, Thank you. For doing the true. Thank you so much for making the show. Thank you for making me aware of so many delightful people who I would have not known before. Honestly, it's a love fest here at last, culture ASTs, and that feels really good after all the blood letting that we've had. Um, we love Guy Brandam, we love you listening, We love you know hot engineer Will and we're so happy as his own Mike say goodbye, Thanks guys, Goodbye everyone, well, goodbye bowen, um, goodbye, goodbye. We must close off. I guess we should. We should sing our song called Goodbye, Goodbye, goodbye, Oh, good bye, goodbyeye, good bye, hey hey hey, hey, hey hey goodbye. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Baham, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.

Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey in 
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