We Must Beat The Office Sluts

Good vibes only bro.  Baby Jesus stolen.  Danger in a ditch.  

Bald Eagles Sound Kinda Gay

Santa's fighting crime in these streets.  When trailer hitches attack.  Hawks are the coolest. 

Meatballs Are Served

They stole a what now? Shabusiness is back in the news and it's a doozy. Is there a place you people haven't had sex??

Takes A Lot Of Tree Jizz To Make Syrup

Maple Syrup Day.   Creepy pervert lawyers and judges.  Just hanging out doing hot dog math.  

There's No Clam At The Vegan Strip Club

I had no idea vegan strip clubs were a thing until today.  No, dude, you aren't a professional drinker.  The drones are multiplying.  

Prepare Your Butthole!!!! It's Happening!!!

Aliens and HUGE effin' drones.   Hey Luigi, it's me, Mario!!! Baby Jessica is the effin' reason we have the stupid 24 hour news cycle!! That bitch!!!

Show Me Your Secret Beard

Chug that coffee, bro.  They found Luigi.  What's with the Christmas Pickle?

Lumpy Semen

Googly eyes are too expensive.  That drunk driver just gave up.  Stop collecting garbage bro.  

Down With Doo Doo Brown

The booze pantry needs donations.  The color of the year is doo doo brown.  We are bringin' back tetherball!

Tits Out At My Funeral

What song is gonna play at your funeral? Pizza Pthursday.  The Taco Bell drive thru cam is here.