Summary:

In this conversation, Shaunti, Jeff, and Chris Legg explore the common reasons couples find themselves at odds, focusing on the differences in communication styles and emotional thresholds. They discuss the importance of understanding translation versus interpretation in relationships, how emotional reactions can vary between partners, and the significance of believing the best in each other's intentions.  

Resources and Links Mentioned:

www.chrismlegg.com

www.alethiacounseling.com

Secrets of Sex and Marriage on Amazon  

Summary:
In this conversation, Shaunti, Jeff, and Chris Legg explore the common reasons couples find themselves at odds, focusing on the differences in communication styles and emotional thresholds. They discuss the importance of understanding translation versus interpretation in relationships, how emotional reactions can vary between partners, and the significance of believing the best in each other's intentions.&nbsp;&nbsp;
Resources and Links Mentioned:
<a href="http://www.chrismlegg.com">www.chrismlegg.com</a>
<a href="http://www.alethiacounseling.com">www.alethiacounseling.com</a>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Sex-Marriage-Surprises-Difference/dp/0764239554/?tag=shaunticom-20">Secrets of Sex and Marriage on Amazon</a> &nbsp;

Relationship tripwires. Mental health puzzles. Confusing work dynamics. You’re not the only one scratching your head. But now you have a secret decoder ring! Each episode of I Wish You Could Hear This is packed with proven, simple, and surprising secrets that help you thrive in life, faith, and relationships. Researchers Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn have spent decades interviewing and surveying more than 40,000 people to identify the little things that make a big difference in our lives. They’re Harvard-educated, Christian authors and speakers who also happen to be happily married, analytically minded, and a whole lot of fun! Join them and their guests for real stories, real help, and real hope.

I Wish You Could Hear This

Relationship tripwires. Mental health puzzles. Confusing work dynamics. You&rsquo;re not the only one scratching your head. But now you have a secret decoder ring! Each episode of I Wish You Could Hear This is packed with proven, simple, and surprising secrets that help you thrive in life, faith, and relationships. Researchers Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn have spent decades interviewing and surveying more than 40,000 people to identify the little things that make a big difference in our lives. They&rsquo;re Harvard-educated, Christian authors and speakers who also happen to be happily married, analytically minded, and a whole lot of fun! Join them and their guests for real stories, real help, and real hope.

Episode 23: Avoid Marriage Frustration with Stronger Interpretation Skills, with Chris Legg

Summary:

In this inspiring and down-to-earth episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo, hosts of the One Extraordinary Marriage podcast, for a candid conversation about reigniting intimacy and connection in marriage. The DiLorenzos open up about their personal journey through seasons of challenge and renewal, including how the bold decision to start a 60-Day Sex Challenge reshaped their relationship.

Together, they unpack the vital role of intentionality, transparency, and vulnerability in marital intimacy, while offering practical steps any couple can take to grow closer. Drawing from their "Six Pillars of Intimacy"—emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, recreational, and sexual—they reveal how addressing each area can transform not just a couple’s sex life, but their whole marriage.

The episode also explores how everyday distractions, especially technology, can erode connection—and what it looks like to reclaim time and attention for each other. Whether you’re newly married or decades in, this conversation is full of actionable wisdom for building a more extraordinary marriage.

 

Links and Resources:

oneextraordinarymarriage.com

6pillarsofintimacy.com

intimacymastery.com

Vulnerability Blog Series Part 1

Vulnerability Blog Series Part 2

Vulnerability Blog Series Part 3

Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages Book on Amazon

Summary:
In this inspiring and down-to-earth episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo, hosts of the One Extraordinary Marriage podcast, for a candid conversation about reigniting intimacy and connection in marriage. The DiLorenzos open up about their personal journey through seasons of challenge and renewal, including how the bold decision to start a 60-Day Sex Challenge reshaped their relationship.
Together, they unpack the vital role of intentionality, transparency, and vulnerability in marital intimacy, while offering practical steps any couple can take to grow closer. Drawing from their "Six Pillars of Intimacy"&mdash;emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, recreational, and sexual&mdash;they reveal how addressing each area can transform not just a couple&rsquo;s sex life, but their whole marriage.
The episode also explores how everyday distractions, especially technology, can erode connection&mdash;and what it looks like to reclaim time and attention for each other. Whether you&rsquo;re newly married or decades in, this conversation is full of actionable wisdom for building a more extraordinary marriage.
&nbsp;
Links and Resources:
<a href="http://oneextraordinarymarriage.com">oneextraordinarymarriage.com</a>
<a href="http://6pillarsofintimacy.com">6pillarsofintimacy.com</a>
<a href="http://intimacymastery.com">intimacymastery.com</a>
<a href="https://shaunti.com/2025/10/why-vulnerability-is-the-best-risk-you-can-take-part-1/">Vulnerability Blog Series Part 1</a>
<a href="https://shaunti.com/2025/10/how-to-be-more-vulnerable-in-marriage-part-2/">Vulnerability Blog Series Part 2</a>
<a href="https://shaunti.com/2025/10/3-more-ways-to-invite-vulnerability-in-your-marriage-part-3/">Vulnerability Blog Series Part 3</a>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Surprising-Secrets-Highly-Happy-Marriages/dp/1601421214/?tag=shaunticom-20">Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages Book on Amazon</a>

Episode 28: The Power of Vulnerability in Relationships, with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo 

Summary:

In this conversation, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn explore the complexities of anger, challenging the conventional wisdom that venting is a healthy way to manage it. They discuss research findings that suggest venting can actually exacerbate anger and aggression. Instead, they advocate for techniques that help regulate emotions and promote calmness, emphasizing the importance of understanding anger as a signal of emotional pain. The discussion includes practical strategies for managing anger in relationships and highlights the significance of redirecting anger for healthier interactions. 

Links and Resources:

The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages on Amazon

Bushman, B. J. (2002). Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger, and aggressive responding. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(6), 724–731. Link to article PDF.

Kjærvik, S. L., & Bushman, B. J. (2024). A meta‑analytic review of anger management activities that increase or decrease arousal: What fuels or douses rage? Clinical Psychology Review, 109, 102414. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2024.102414

Ephesians 4:26 – “In your anger, do not sin.”

Summary:
In this conversation, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn explore the complexities of anger, challenging the conventional wisdom that venting is a healthy way to manage it. They discuss research findings that suggest venting can actually exacerbate anger and aggression. Instead, they advocate for techniques that help regulate emotions and promote calmness, emphasizing the importance of understanding anger as a signal of emotional pain. The discussion includes practical strategies for managing anger in relationships and highlights the significance of redirecting anger for healthier interactions.&nbsp;
Links and Resources:
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Surprising-Secrets-Highly-Happy-Marriages/dp/1601421214/?tag=shaunticom-20">The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages on Amazon</a>
Bushman, B. J. (2002). Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger, and aggressive responding. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(6), 724&ndash;731.<a href="https://faculty.washington.edu/jdb/345/345%20Articles/bushman%282002%29.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com"> Link to article PDF.</a>
Kj&aelig;rvik, S. L., &amp; Bushman, B. J. (2024). A meta‑analytic review of anger management activities that increase or decrease arousal: What fuels or douses rage? Clinical Psychology Review, 109, 102414.<a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2024.102414"> https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2024.102414</a>
Ephesians 4:26 &ndash; &ldquo;In your anger, do not sin.&rdquo;

Episode 27: Anger Issues? Why Venting is Making It Worse. 

Summary: 

In this engaging podcast episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn welcome Jonathan and Wendy Hoover to discuss essential insights into marriage. They explore the Hoovers' personal journey through conflict and resolution, emphasizing the importance of understanding the underlying motivations in disagreements. The conversation also highlights three critical factors to consider before marriage, focusing on faith, character, and the commitment required for a successful partnership.

Links and Resources:

Dr Hoover's Website

Dr Hoover's Podcast

Stress Fracture Book on Amazon

Summary:&nbsp;
In this engaging podcast episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn welcome Jonathan and Wendy Hoover to discuss essential insights into marriage. They explore the Hoovers' personal journey through conflict and resolution, emphasizing the importance of understanding the underlying motivations in disagreements. The conversation also highlights three critical factors to consider before marriage, focusing on faith, character, and the commitment required for a successful partnership.
Links and Resources:
<a href="https://drjonathanhoover.com/">Dr Hoover's Website</a>
<a href="https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLquQNDecCXXMeO7u6D7DQMlUB81R_tvsc&amp;si=4CH1RSNOdqNzRiIt">Dr Hoover's Podcast</a>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Stress-Fracture-Ultimate-Beating-Burnout/dp/076424342X/?tag=shaunticom-20">Stress Fracture Book on Amazon</a>

Episode 23: Avoid Marriage Frustration with Stronger Interpretation Skills, with Chris Legg

I Wish You Could Hear This

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