I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger WinegarBridger barely flinches when Rekha Shankar (Dropout, Hacks) forces a gift on him. The two discuss dry socket, Kirby on HGH, and Paris.
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And I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. But you're a guest to my home. You gotta come to me empty And I said, no guests, you're presences presents enough.
I already had too much stuff, So how.
Did you dare to surbey me?
Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Wineger. We're in the studio, just kind of waiting for it to rain and clear the outdoor air, so God knows when that will happen. I just I feel like I just need to get into something, something important right now. In the last couple of weeks, I've been shocked to hear people correcting other people for saying I could care less. And I think it's time to just give up. I understand this used to be me. It used to bother me slightly. I could care less, is incorrect or whatever, but the war has been lost. Stop correcting people. It's so annoying. It's not going to change anything. Put your energy towards a hobby or something. I don't care go mow the lawn. But we have to cut it out now. It's really starting to get on my nerves. And I thought we were past it, so the fact that I'm hearing this twice within a month's time. It's concerning, and we'll keep our eye on it. I'm keeping my eye on it, and I'm hoping for you to do better. Okay, I feel like now that we're doing video, I should be talking down the barrel of the camera on Alyse. But that feels crazy too. But now I'm looking right at the camera, and now people are concerned about what's happening. I don't know, on Alyse, how do you feel should I be constantly looking down the camera?
I absolutely think you should. The more unsettling, the better.
I'm going to start every episode now just staring at the camera. That's a little treat for eventual video release. God knows when that'll happen. Maybe when the rain comes, I don't know. We have to get into the podcast. I love today's guest. It's Raka Shankar. Raka, welcome to I said no gifts.
Thank you so much for having me. Bridger Shunker, Schunker like Bunker and Wineger like China Ber.
What else could I do? Dinah fur, I guess that's more for like if you were reading it and needed help, right like if you saw my name, and I could put in parentheses China bir.
Yes and China bird. To me is is if I don't know your last name and I don't know any last name, babe, and you say wineger like China bird, I go, you just said two two different things. They sound the same, but I don't know what the second one is, so it doesn't help me.
Right right, Exactly, we're I think last week we were talking about last names, and I was talking about I've like it's another thing where I've just kind of given up, like growing up with two names that most people just don't understand. I'm just like, Okay, I'll tell you, and then if you fuck it up, I don't have the energy. Yeah, I'm just so tired all the time.
Do people give you little nicknames when prompted?
Ooh not? Well what if I was telling people nicknames they could use. Yeah, yeah, Bridgie, Bridgie, I do get bridgie. People loved ones will call me that. That's cute, bridge b I think that's kind of as far as you can God, and that's when the name stops working.
That's what you've kind of broken. The fundamentical fund.
Is the Namesactly, we've lost the spirit of j Gerder. Do you have nicknames? Two people nobody?
Uh uh no, My uh family calls me Raka, which is simply my name. Then even friends growing up, it's two syllables. There's not like much to milk, right. But randomly the people that give me nicknames were ohas people at like work or internships, they would call me Rakes.
Oh.
I took a class and the teachers just started to call me Ray to two different teachers, and I was like, it's so interesting that we're going that way.
Rakes brings to mind a dark shed just full of Rakes. And Ray is in Bridge Territory.
Ray is in Bread Terture. We've sort of we're too far from the prompt.
Yes, you can't guess what the full name is totally. It could be anything ray Lean, Ray.
It could be ray Lean.
Which would be a great name, which is so awesome.
If you're Raylean, that's awesome and I love it.
I would happily be a ray Lean.
Oh yeah, oh my god. It sounds like she deserves like an album.
It also sounds like a bug killer or something you know, yes, sexticided.
Yeah, like DDT in it. It's like really bad for your skin. It's ray lean.
That's what you find near a pile of rakes and a dark shape. Yes, so it all kind of comes back to a dark shade.
Yes, exactly, what's up?
What's going on?
Hey? You know, I'm grateful to be safe.
Where do you live?
I live on the east side, so I'm not like in fire territory. But it's interesting, Like very well meaning people that don't live in LA they have one of two modes. They either don't check in and you're like okay, or they think I am the person on fire right, and yes, they're totally valid. There's a lot of destruction that has happened that makes total sense. But it is simply interesting, the two flavors of no text and like.
Frequent repeated just having to constantly remind them, no, I'm still in between the fires.
Yes, yes, were you okay?
Yes, I'm in Highland Park. So it was like, yeah, it got a little spooky, but uh, and I left. I fortunately have some friends who live in Palm Springs a lot of the time, so I got to just go stay there. But besides, the power bang out for a while and the air looking like the end of the world, and the ash in the yard and the debris in the yard. Beyond all of.
That, the invisible stuff we're breathing currently.
Totally. I was, Okay, did.
You grow up with like I have friends who are from the Bay or from la and grew up with like fire preparedness and stuff, just like people like who are in Tornado Country. Kind of you grew up with anything like that.
So I grew up in Utah where the major fear, the major fear is earthquakes. Yes, but growing up Mormon, Mormons also are trying to always be prepared for the end of the world. So you kind of you, yes, except you would think so. You would think so. But this is where I kind of parted ways outside of you know, the Mormon Church and I parted ways and a few on a few.
Different earthquake preparedness.
I like that they had food in their basements. I didn't like that they had canned goods. This is a moral.
I feel.
I've got to get out of this. I can't be around bags of rice and canned beans, too many bottles of water. I actually appreciate that about them, But I, as someone who's not prepared for just daily life. How in the world would I be prepared for future catastrophes.
Yeah, I mean you're an iced coffee drinker. I can't just say hello at the another the world. That's just water.
I'm not gonna be able to Yes, you can't ice this. I did recently buy one what is that a palette? A box a thing of bottled water that I've slid under the bed. Uh. And then I have a battery or a flashlight without batteries.
Great, you'll find those later, it doesn't matter.
I'll find those in the middle of all in the wreckage, just going through my junk drawering.
You're going to go down. You're a best buie. It's fine, you can buy batteries.
I can lout a best buy. This is when looting comes in hand. Yeah, you've got to get your triple as Uh. Yeah. So in theory I could be prepared, I'm not. I should be. And then so when I am found underneath a pile of you know, burning rubble, people will be like, well, he knew better, Yeah, and he kind of had it coming. Cute. Okay, Yeah, I think that's cute. Like I think at a funeral to hear someone say he kind of had it coming. Yeah, I think people appreciate that.
Yeah, there's definitely there's like I love that funeral package for like the guys who deserve it.
You know, they pick out all of their least flattering photos to blow up into huge things. Yeah. I think that ultimately, at a funeral, you want people just kind of laying it all out.
Yeah.
Where else are they going to do it?
Yeah, they're not going to say it to your face that you repair yourself or be a better person. No, you wait till they're dead. Yes, and then you say these are the things I would have changed. Yes, And people like to hear that.
I have notes I've gotten.
Did you grow up on the East Coast?
Yeah, I'm from Philadelphia.
Okay, so yours was Hurricane ish.
Here's what's crazy. I was like, because I was talking to my friend who's from the Bay Area, and she did like quick preparedness I think, uh like fire preparedness, and I was like, I don't think I'm prepared for anything.
Yeah, because you guys are. We kind of just kind of the best place to be.
It's little of this kind of the most place to be. I mean, the East Coast just has different weather throughout the year. But no, we have extreme weather, of course, but it's perhaps it's just strange we don't teach our children to be prepared with it for it, like we we're I got a lot of school lockdown drills.
Okay, that's always a fun one.
That's kind of a natural disaster in itself.
Sure you just count people, but yeah, no, Like.
We've had hurricanes during the time I was in Philadelphia, and extreme snow and stuff, but never like, uh, here's what you do. And maybe that's just my privilege speaking that I didn't have to think too hard. So yeah, I think I'm pretty boned.
Did you ever experience, I mean an earthquake?
Not in Philadelphia? When I lived in New York, there was like a tiny baby one that I'm sure anyone that was in New York, And like, what was what year is it? It was like two thousand and twelve or something where I was bringing a night job. So I remember this because I was sleeping during the day, okay, And it happened at like ten in the morning or something, and I woke up in my apartment building, which was like kind of a crappy building. Was just I just felt a little wobble and I'd never felt an earthquake before. But what I literally thought, because I found that apartment for me and my friends, I was like, I picked a shitty apartment. It's wobbling in the wind. Damn, I'm so stupid about I pick a wobbley apartment. Of course, of course it's my fault, of course.
So that was as far as the fear went. Was just a self.
Hatred yes, and so on the East Coast they preprairie for that. I knew what to do.
Yeah, of course, everybody's really built to kind of just blaming themselves immediately.
But yeah, other than that, I had not experienced an earthquake on these coats.
Have you felt one out here?
Yes? Okay, now it's it's cuckoo. I still was like, very not accustomed to it when it happened, right, because it's so bizarre. It feels like a truck going by. But then you're like, hold on, there's too much happening with this truck. It's like truck after truck after truck. What's my god? Uh, parade, it's a truck parade.
Favorite type of parade. I love a truck. You get all those trucks in a row.
It's gorgeous. I hope to be the queen.
The queen of the truck.
Yeah.
Uh no. That's the thing with earthquakes here where, I'm like, when I'm experiencing one, now, I'm like, I try to remain calm. But I think that might be bad as well, because what if it's the one and I'm like, well, it's just another it's a truck parade, and then suddenly things get worse and worse, and now I'm again buried and people are saying, he had it coming, he.
Had it coming.
That's my I don't know how. I don't know how to fine tune myself emotionally for an earthquake.
Yeah, that is a good point, Like you have to be calm, but you still have to be paranoid, like it is the one right, right. You can't just be like who cares? Kick back, right, turn on all your electronics and whatever.
Put all of your finest glass on the edge of a canching. Yeah, I guess. Uh, there's just no winning with an earthquake. And where so I guess. But what we have determined is that Philly is the safest place.
Philavia might be among the safest places to be.
I mean maybe Boise, Idaho. Where does that catch on fire?
Now?
What's going on in Boise? That is a good question because it's kind of west, But does it right?
It's not fully West coast, Yeah, it's not. It's not really the mountainous part of the West. Yeah, it's its own little thing. And I think that's it's kind of like a drip of Canada. I think it's like kind of that energy of Canadian calm.
It's like a Yeah, I don't I like it being a drip it.
Yeah. And Montana similarly, although Montana, I feel like, is so big that something's got to happen.
Mountain's gotta fall down.
Yeah, things are gonna happen when you have a state of that.
Something bison roll down a hill and squash you or something.
Right, Yeah, of course one runs off a cliff on to you. Yes, this kind of thing. But I guess fire, fire is coming for all of us. Let's be honest.
Fire is the universal equalizer. It can happen anywhere and do anything at once.
Right, you get a little bit of that. Wind. Wind is the worst element, and no one's on board for.
Who knew. We think wind, We think breeze if we're lucky, and then the Santa Annas come and it's just like no, no, no, no, off awful.
Outside of breeze, wind is a waste. It just intensifies whatever's happening around you. It's noisy, you know, blows things around.
The elements the earth. Wait, fire, wind, water, earth, go ahead, or I would okay, are any earth?
Wind and fire?
Earth wind and fire? Are any of those good? In excess? I think earth is good in does earth access mean earthquake?
Right? That's I don't.
Consider too much earth to be the cause of an earth right.
It's more of like, well, I guess it is that there are crowding each outing. It's like crouting each other. It's like it is a wisdom teeth situation.
Oh my god, you have to remove a couple parts of the earth so they stop.
We got to get a dentist in there to just jerk those things out. Have you had your wisdom teeth removed very recently? Recently? Yes, when.
It was not last Thanksgiving but the thanks Giving before?
Okay, were you back home? No?
What happened was so I'm I'm a very good student when it comes to going to the dentist. I'm going every time I'm supposed to, I have Dentisty's dentistry is also a little bit crazy because I have friends that just genetically have bad teeth and they do so much to take care of them, and then they get shipped from their dentist, and I just my geens have totally like, my teeth are fine, and so I don't get chipped for my dentists, and so my dentist visits are pretty easy. But I have been a little diligent checker and like, should I get my wizard teeth out? And they're I was like, no, you're fine. I was like, okay, Wow, she's blessed.
She's perfect. Yeah, And room for everyone.
There's a room for everybody in there, hop on it. There's plenty of room. Of the word of my weird. I'll have as many teeth as you can allow. But all of a sudden, all of a sudden, in my mid thirties, I had I had toothpain one day. Oh no, and I went what and they went, you need invisil line and I went, okay, interesting, I did it. I was very good about it.
Oh, you really are on top of it doing the homework.
I'm doing my homework, did the Invizil line, and then they went by the way you need your wisdom teeth up and I was like, wait.
Why simultaneously after after music so they could thought have been happening before because now I had I straightened four extra teeth.
That you're now just taking out. I did all this work and now you're removing them. They were like, yeah, it's just gonna be harder for you to clean those teeth as you get older. I'm like, but I asked about this a million times that everybody was like no. So this happened two years ago and it was at a thing. It was the day before Thanksgiving. I was flying out that day to Philadelphia. Oh, and they were like, yeah, you only need your wisdom teeth that. It's like, is this something you can do now? I'm so psyched. I just want to get things over it.
Oh my god, this is a big thing to just suddenly do.
I was like, can you just do this now? And they're like, uh, yeah, we'll do one side of your mouth and then the other side will be functional. Still, it is like awesome, absolutely insanely flippant way to decide to do this I was going on a flight in three hours, and I was like, am I okay to be on a plane, And like, yeah.
Did they knock you out?
No?
WHOA, So you've really just went for it?
He did local?
Oh?
Am I insane digging out?
That is a full excavation. Heard it? Oh? What is the noise?
It is like, Oh, it's like if you took two pieces of a burlap sack and just rip the seam. It's just such an intense rip noise. And I was like, why did I have to hear that? And you might be saying, Raco, why didn't you ask to be knocked out. I'm not the dentist. I don't know. I'm trusting whatever they're doing. They said I only needed low. I asked for local.
Okay.
Whatever.
They said they could rip out two of my teeth in a day and then I could go on a plane.
Okay.
They said I could drive home. What so I pat all this gauze in my mouth. I drove fully, drove home, went home. My roommate starts talking to me and I was like, I got my woodom teeth. I was like, did you just drive home? I was like, I was like, shouldn't you be like, yeah. I was like, went home, met my partner's parents for the first time the next day, perfectly. It was incredible. I was like, hi, I can only chew out of one side of my mouth. Whatever. I did not realize how crazy of a decision that was.
What was the recovery time for that?
Like, what do we mean by recovery? Because like, because because you you there's stuff going on there for so long. I felt like I could properly eat after like a month or something, but but I could still like I could still eat. I just had to kind of like care for the game. Yeah, and then I got the other two removed like a month after or something. Okay, very weird.
Was there any talk of like the dry socket this kind of thing.
Everybody was talking about dry socket?
Pyful love it. It's a it's a topic that people love to get into.
I was like, I will do anything not to get dry socket. Of course, literally do anything. I was so paranoid writing dry socket.
I don't quite know what that even means.
I think it is when it does not clot properly, so it can't heal. So like if you brushed you rigorously or you're like doing nug up and you're like sucking the clot out. You're just an exposing nerve. And I don't know that I would name that dry socket if I had.
It's very ready.
It seems internally wet.
The problem is fluid wetness.
So think about it. I think about a name change.
Dry socket. You're picturing a little hole, tumbleweeds blowing through it or something.
I'm picturing kind of the Southwest.
It's like gorgeous desert.
It's so beautiful. We're in not Sonoma, Sedona. We're in Sedona.
You've got to see the sunsets in this dry socket.
Beautiful. I go on vacation in a dry socket. It's just more quiet there, just so in the cost of livings.
The architecture all beautiful. If you love mid century, get into a dry socket. Wow. So I didn't. Yeah, I didn't realize it was a wet situation.
I think that's what it is. Literally, nobody cracked me.
But dentists turn off the podcast.
Now your primary demo is dentists.
It's almost entirely dentists. We can't get them off, you know. I'm trying to just tell dentists stay away from the podcast. They're hooked.
They don't eat sugar, so then they get hooked on this.
They get hooked on this. You've got to fill in that that place in your life somehow. So the dentists are coming for me, the orthodontists, the hygienists. I just was dentist earlier this week and hygena said, was it this week or was it last Friday? That's obviously very an important detail.
No, I like it.
The hygienas said to me, things have gotten so crazy since they caught Diddy. It's like, I don't know how to did they in this conversation.
In society or in their office.
It's a operation.
Let me tell you. Our lead dentist is the one who caught him.
You get that lead vest on somebody and they cannot get away.
That's so weird. Interesting, And to bring up like such a horrible subject matter while they're in your mouth also like gives them carte blanche and be like, here are my thoughts on Didty and why he's innocent?
You know, I think that that must be part of the appeal of becoming a dentist or hygienas, of being like you have the most captive audience. They have to agree with anything you say, yes, and they can't really add or are ar you with because essentially all you can say is.
Uhhh, you're kind of like their robot boyfriend or something like Lars and the real Girl. They're just like God, no one understands on my art.
Yeah, so that was I mean, it was kind of a things have been crazy. I don't know that it was because Ditty got caught.
I don't know if Yeah, that's my thing, but Philip started earlier.
I assume things for Diddy have gotten crazy since he and maybe that's.
What they met. They're like, oh for Diddy.
I mean, and you know, I'm not getting invited to the parties anymore.
Yeah, all my white clothes are totally waists.
All of this bleach I just have to throw out, uh no, dentistry, dry sockets. I don't know. These are things I don't want to talk about anymore because there's something else I need to talk to you about. Yeah, Rica, I was really excited to have you here today. Yeah, we met recently. You told me you had been in my house, yes, which is an interesting thing to find out.
But and you weren't there.
I was I was not there. You were there with our friend Patrick McDonald.
I was, and we were using your oven in your kitchen.
Right, just baking away.
It was really nice.
What were you baking?
We mean talk to cookies okay, and a berry crumble. Oh, it was really you were sort of berries. I think it was blackberries.
Okay.
Yeah, you should have been there.
I should have been. It would have been.
Great, but you weren't. So alas and we I think we played your piano.
Oh of course, I got to get on the piano. Do you play the piano? No, no, no, okay, that's the best way to play the piano. Just bang on it. I am away. Uh, and now I'm distracting myself from the more important topic at hand. The podcast is called I said no gift.
Yes I saw that.
Okay, so so you did see it. And then you just blatantly said I'm going to bring a gift to this podcast. Yes, I don't care.
Here's the thing, I just it. The studio is a little hideous, to be honest.
It's disgusting.
And so it felt like one of those It felt like a cry for help, to be honest, like when your friend is like, no, no, I'm Okay, guys like you don't need to come over, and you're like, I'm coming over. I can tell you've been drinking, you have a problem, and we've all noticed. That's sort of what it felt like.
Okay, sure, I was like, fair, fair.
I don't think this is real.
I have to take a bath anytime I leave the studio. Yeah, just covered in scum.
It's not good in here.
It's all fluorescent lighting. Yeah, it's just kind of a tile floor. Yeah, slime everywhere you're just you're touching the table, there's dirt, visible dirt all over. Writing your name.
R ass plus initials of your choice in a heart anywhere on this table.
So you thought you'd bring a little something for that reason? Okay, Yeah, that's yeah, totally fair.
Yeah.
Should I open it here on the podcast?
I think I think open it on the podcast, just so there's two items in there. One is for you and one is for me.
It's in this little bag, the cutest little bag. Yeah, he's got a little snowman on it.
Happy.
This was a I think this is a winter bag. You can go into January. I think you can go into late February.
Listen, I'm gonna milk, whatever I can out of this bag. I'm gonna start using it October thirty first, and I'm gonna stop using it February thirteen, March fifteenth. You know when the salsice comes, I stop using this bag.
When they close the ski resorts. That's when you know. Time to bring out your springtime bag.
Yeah, my big flower bag with flower, a big flower on it.
Okay, I'm going to reach in here. Yeah, I got some tissue.
Yeah.
I feel like we're having a tissue renaissance on this podcast. A lot of guests didn't bring tissue for a while. Now they're back. We're getting a crunch, we're getting a swish.
I think it's nice because for three extra seconds, you don't know what the gift is.
And for that adds to the suspense.
Yeah.
The violins are like amping up, yeah, screeching. Yeah, you know something's wrong.
It's like slow mo.
Yeah. Okay, does it matter which order I take these outings?
No, I'll just tell you which ones which.
Okay, I could tell it feels like there's more than two things.
Well, one of them has a head that comes off.
Okay, what I'm doing right now feels like that Halloween game where you reach into a thing and it's spaghetti and you're like, oh, it's brains. Yes, but that's not what this is. Okay, I'm bringing out the first thing.
Okay, So that's the bottom part of my gift. This is for me because I wanted a little fun here too.
This is okay, So what i'll describe, what I'm saying right now is a cow's body with what i'll say, hue, gorgeous utter, and then inside there's no head. It's as of right now, decapitated. And inside the head there's the tiniest ice cream cone, just the cutest little ice cream cone. So I'm going to reach it and try to find the head of the cow.
Yes, so that, yeah, that goes on top. The head goes on top. The head goes on top, so that you don't for three extra seconds you don't know that there's an ice cream cone inside the cow's head.
Look how happy the cow is.
Unbelievable, how happy she's so cute.
It's such a cutey. What what is this object?
My friends got this for me at a state sale. Okay, somebody passed on and left this behind as part of their estate. And now it is part of my estate and I brought it to just again up this space. I felt like eyes the guests should have something that reference and represents me here.
Yeah, what do you suppose? Like the the reason is for this to exist because it seems like you would take this like if it were a larger object, you would take the head off and put something in here totally.
But you can't because there's a small ice cream cone.
There is an ice cream cone in there. This would I don't think this would even hold a nickel.
I think you are correct.
I think possibly a dime.
That's very generous of you. I think the absolute most it could hold is two beads. I think if you are looking to store two beads that fell off of a shirt, you could put it inside of.
This two those are large beads though, pine picture those are the tiny beads, And I would say this is a forty bead cow if you had those tiny ones.
If you haven't like gorgeous embroidery.
Yes or something embroidery beads.
Yeah, you're in Sedona. In your your dry socket, you could probably store forty beads in there.
What a way to retire? Oh, it's just doing your bead work in a dry socket.
Oh so beautifu fall this time of year.
But yeah, the larger beads, you know, more like the Friendship bracelet beads.
Yeah, this is a two beat. I think it's a two bead cow. But there is a small ice cream can.
Outside of that. It's more of a like an art piece. I suppose.
What's interesting is I believe I remember googling this after I received it, and I think there's like a line of these where it is an animal where you open its head and there's an item inside. I think my friend scored me the best one. I think cow with the ice cream is the best combination.
Oh interesting, do you remember any others?
I'm gonna probably be truly making these up. I think there was like a dog with a bone, okay, like a cat with yarn, and I remember thinking too obviously.
Yeah, real a to be, really really a to be.
Take me from a to Q, go cow, make milk, milk, become cream cream, Get sweetened, sweetened cream, get turned turned, get scooped onto and ice cream crown cow with ice cream cone.
Yes, the chicken should have bare minimum a chicken.
Nugget horrifying, Uh so scary?
Or how about a pen with a feather on it?
That's a will, Yes, a quill with the declaration of independence.
Just do declaration of independence. Now it's a Dan Brown novel.
Figure it out? Why is it there?
Tom Hanks is on the case a chicken. Why did the Catholic Church care so much about this chicken? So? Do you remember, like what time period were these popular? Was this a trendy thing? Is this a beanie baby of like the late eighties? Is this because it looks I mean, design wise, I think it's very like fun. It feels almost modern.
It feels you know, that's such a good question. There's a realism to it that doesn't say modern to me. Like the cow has a spine. If you look on the ball, no you like that.
I'm going to look, but I'm not going to be comfortable.
Okay, Oh what this cow? This cow has values, She has a spine, she has a backbone.
She speaks up for what she wants and what she wants.
This cow is from nineteen sixty three.
The spine was the most absolutely unnecessary part of this thing. It's so gross. It reminds me of for whatever reason, the alien in the movie Alien. There's a real sci fi element to this disgusting spine.
Yes, and to me that feels of the seventies or the eighties then. And I also love that she kind of has cute bangs, which is now but is also retro. I don't know.
I guess the muted colors put it in a timeless category that I couldn't really say when or where this came.
From, because now it's all like trendy to make stuff look old. This does look old, perhaps naturally.
Right, my best guess. If I'm antique road showing this baby ninety three, I think this is I.
Thought you meant dollars at first.
What now, as far as worth goes, this is probably you're probably gonna look at forty to fifty thousand dollars um. That's just that's if you put it on auction, you're going to see some different numbers. So you get some cow freaks in there and let them go wild.
Okay, let them go cow wild. Okay.
But I think nineteen ninety three makes sense to me for this object. Yeah, and we'll post some pictures of this, and the listeners can be wrong because I've already I think I'm right. I know I'm right. This is nineteen ninety three. It's worth fifty thousand dollars.
Yeah, and that's cream strawberry. By the way, my gas turner towards.
Me, okay, turning towards you. I can show you the ice cream cone again.
Yeah, I'd like to look at it. Oh delicious, And it's actually like froio.
It's like it's a real soft serve soft serve situation.
Okay, I'm gonna say, like nineteen eighty seven.
Wow. Interesting. Oh yeah, I don't know. Interesting.
It's just giving me nineteen eighty seven.
I guess if we were if we knew if that was soft serve or froyo, that would realy tipical scout.
Yeah yeah if that if that cone had a tiny sixteen handles label, I'd be like, okay, this is recent dah. If thats a tcby, I'm like, okay, nineties, low fives kind of whatever. I wish it had a label.
It doesn't. It has no label. It was made in China. We know that much. It has a little sticker at the bottom.
Uh.
Now, let me ask you. This is something that's been on my mind for the last few years sixteen handles? Is that a pun on sixteen candles?
So Briga, I don't know if you know this about me. I used to be a competitive punter, and that is true.
I did not know this.
So stuff like this kind of bugs me because you can't just say a word that sounds like a word and be like, well, that's a pun.
No.
I can't be like, this is a water throttle. That's not a pun, that's just rhyme.
That's crazy, right, I mean, you've gotta have some logic there. Yes, Now, actually I would argue for like a box or bottle of water, calling it a water throttle kind of is a decent pond because you throttle the water.
Okay, that actually rocked sixteen handles competing You might need to compete in sixteen handles. I think the idea is it's a playoff sixteen camp okay, because they have handles where you can self serve.
Right, But.
The movie or a birthday cake doesn't have any tie in to the ice cream, so you.
I don't know in the movie, does anyone eat a soft serve or frozen yogurt?
I think famously no, Okay, they think a famously ice free movie.
So then why because this is the sort of thing where you're like you kind of have to get there for yourself, where you're like, I like, I guess that's why this is called sixteen handles.
The only way they can get away with this is if part of their thing, like like basking Robbins whole thing, for whatever reason it is having thirty one flavors. If they have sixteen flavors at all times, which if they do, don't tell me. If they have sixteen flavors at all times, I can kind of get behind it, like, okay, sixteen handles, Okay, we're still not relating to the movie at all, but at least there's like an inherent reason the number sixteen is there, right, and that you're doing a playoff of the second word if they have. I've been to some sixteen handles. I'm seeing like six flavors sometimes.
Of course, there's no way they've always got sixteen, And you're really limiting yourself. What if you think of a seventeenth flavor? You morons?
You crack the code overnight, you wake up in a fright three am, and you go.
Pineapple, pineapple?
Frick?
Where do you have et vanilla.
We have the there's always more than one vanilla.
By the way, the French vanilla that he should go in every country fora except America.
The most vanilla country of all. Okay, So but my argument here is, Okay, let's say it's sixteen handles. Yeah, they have sixteen handles in there. The pun does not work no matter what, because it has no tie into any concept in the universe. So then let's assume they're innocently just calling it sixteen handles because they had sixteen handles no other reason. Then it's just irresponsible business naming because it does sound like a pun.
You have to google.
It makes no sense to me whatsoever.
It's it's alarming.
Alarming at best yea at best, devastating at worst at best. Yes everything at.
Yes, it's it's pretty troubling that puns people are trying to make.
Yeah, I feel like there's a few other businesses like that where I'm like, this is a stretch and I yes, just what are you doing?
Yes?
Yeah, there was a sandwich spot I really liked in New York called tie Me Up. Oh Ai.
Ti Food. Okay, I will say for Thai restaurants, Thai restaurants can get very irresponsible.
There's a lot of stuff happening with that word. And I didn't get it at first because I wasn't a competitive bunter yet. But I went to time me up. And I remember the first time I told someone, Oh my god, I had this great sandwich of time. I like, sorry, what the hell's the restaurant new? And I think because they thought I meant t I E And I was like, oh, I guess it is interesting because tie me up is sort of either a very like sexual request and a sort of spooky one, and it's interesting to want to kind of portmanteau your way into that.
It's like calling a restaurant throw me in the trunk, something.
Like that bury me out back and it's a berry There was like blueberries and raspberries.
Shallow grape. No, there are tie me up though. I can almost start to argue for because you do want to be tied up with typhoon.
You know, there's a whimsy to it that I think immediately didn't make me question it until I said it out loud.
Right, Yeah, there's one that when I drive through Glendale or Burbank, it's a Thai restaurant. I wish I could remember what the pun is because it does simply does not work, and I want to go in there and be like, I'm happy to consult on this. I might even start to kicks to get a new sign out for because what you're doing is hurting you.
Yeah.
I was actually just thinking about Thai food recently. Why don't we have more fast casual thie?
Okay, here's here's we all need to be eating more Thai food. It's so good, it's so unbelievable. My favorite foods on Earth are like Taiwanese, Indian, and Thai. We all need to be eating more of us food. Absolutely, that we have more of these restaurants and that they can all be good and they can all be fast casual. To Michelin, this is your call to action. Eat more of these three foods that I could be happy.
I do feel like Thaie and Indian are the two foods where I have to be ready for a restaurant experience. There's not fast casual options that I want for a quick meal.
There's a place called Pulsi Kitchen in downtown LA that is fast casual Indian.
Okay, not bad, not bad, which is basically what you want for.
Exactly, which is totally fine. If you're like downtown and want a quick lunch, you'll be totally happy.
And I feel like, at least within Los Angeles Taiwanese we've got Joy and and it's not it's not that casual you're getting on the reservation unless you're going to the gallery, you're going to the mall. But for if you want to go to Pine and Crane or Joy, kind of the ultimate fast casual experience. And I love it so good. But Thai food, everything about it to me screams, this could be you can the curry is going to be simmering no matter what. It's ready to go.
This podcast is about ty food, right.
I wouldn't mind. I used to work at a tai restaurant. Really, yes, I worked at Simply Tie in Sandy, Utah. They used uh they recently switched ownership, so I can't speak to the quality anymore. But it used to be very good, and I ate. I mean I think back now on the like truly like gallons of curry I would eat. I don't know why the work my body was putting in, UNBELI it's incredible superhuman. I would truly like thirty ounces of yellow curry and rice I'm eating for one meal.
I think that's awesome. I the best typehood I've ever had, because this is a typepood podcast was I think, yes, I believe it's called it's called like Lotus of Siam in Las Vegas, Okay, and I knowally nothing really.
Oh it's so good. Believe I'm not a Las Vegas person, but I would go there for that typhoon.
I would absolutely go there. I am not tied. I am also clinically stupid, but this food was so.
It is fantastic and super affordable, so good, so affordable. Everything about it just now I feel like I have to go to Las Vegas, so I don't like to hear that.
And there's a place called I think it's Chef Kenny's Vegetarian dim Sum. I loved it.
Maybe I just like go to eat, avoid the strip and eat at these.
Eat and like kind of you can do some Formula one racing or whatever.
Maybe maybe Las Vegas has some fast casual tie that I'm not familiar with.
Las Vegas reach outa Las Vegas hive active in.
Oka.
Are you gonna I'm gonna get in here.
I'm get in here. Oh I should have guessed about this far out of the bag. I knew that I was holding. It's the Eiffel Tower, speaking of Las Vegas. Yes, like kind of the original home of the Eiffel Tower. Yes, wow, I have two gorgeous little decorations.
And again the cow is min the cow is yours, which.
I'm not thrilled to hear. Yeah, yeah, but ultimately you need to take this home and put it on your mantle exactly, or put it uh in the kitchen next to your cookie jar, something like this. I meanwhile, have something that could double as a weapon, easily blind someone.
So I thought you could use a little class in here. Just give in to a Nam kennesseeing.
Again, the windows are broken.
It's just it's pretty speaky. And what is more classy than the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas?
We love? What is that? Is it the Parisian or is it the Paris?
It simply couldn't be called the Paris, right, the Paris Las Vegas. It is Paris, Las Vegas, Paris, Las Vegas, Las Vegas.
Such a sad thing to hear.
It's so confusing, it's like an AI generated name.
Paris Las Vegas. Yeah, I have never heard that. I've been to this place, yeah multiple times. Yeah, never thought, oh, I'm in the Paris Las Vegas.
Yeah.
I thought it was a little classier than that. Now I'm thinking worse of it. Okay, Well, this casino is not as classy as I thought it would be. Yeah, have you been to either Paris Las Vegas or Paris, France.
I've been to Paris, France, Okay, and I was little. It was a family trip and it was very pretty. I maybe didn't understand the art because I was eleven, but it was very pretty. I think French food, except for the desserts that sucks.
It's a hard thing for me to get on board with because it is all and French people reach out. I do like a well made French sandwich and I love a cheese, but like, I can't really conceive of like a French meal. I would really haven't.
They haven't made them. They haven't cracked that recipe to make a meal.
Actually, French food famously everyone hates and it's trash.
Listen, unless you consider bread and cheese and meal, which if you're European maybe.
You do.
French don't have I don't like I'm also vegetarians. I got a huge bias buttered beef, plain carrots or whatever.
It's a very just a butter forward food and butter rocks. But eventually it's like I want a little spice here or something. Let's let's throw some sort of literally any spice, and like.
Can I have a little fiber? Can I have something else? Something to get the bm's movement. I don't want buttered.
Beef, buttered cheese.
Oh my god, it constipated all around in France.
This is not making me question when I was in Paris. Not to brag as an adult, not to brag, I don't remember having any bad food experiences, but I yeah, I don't remember having any that like really blew my mind either.
Listen, you said it. It sucks. The food is gross, Uh, French technique whatever? Who cares? Except for patisserie pat.
Your child drive off a cliff?
Nah?
Who cares? Okay? Literally who cares? There? There? You will go to a front restaurant and they will charge you eighty five dollars for a bagap really technical, incredible.
Wow.
You will go to a Chinese restaurant where someone is pulling noodles in front of you, making chili oil in front of you, and they're like two dollars and You're like, wow, this is unbelievable. The christ disparity is crazy.
It's wild. I mean, especially within the United States. If you're going to a French restaurant, my night is ruined. I know, my night is ruined because it's going to be so expensive and it is going to be buttered chicken, which again great, it's a very simple thing, but I want a little bit more flair. I need a little bit and not just in the making of but in the tasting of. Yes. Yes, French people are so mad right now, they're so proud.
Of they're lip pissed.
And French people again reach out by The one thing I can remember about the Eiffel Tower, which was absolutely the opposite of class. When I was there, was right beside it an absolute rat farm. The amount of rats I saw in the square footage, I mean it was the absolute Manhattan Tokyo of rats. They were on top of each other. Wow.
See, Okay, I find this interesting for many reasons. One I can't remember is the Eiffel Tower. One of those tourist attractions. That's actually is it like in a nice area or is it in a kind of like more dirty area or.
Something good question. Paris is hard to tell me what I do. As a dumb American, I'm like, oh, this is all so outstanding and beautiful. Yeah, at the time it was night, so maybe some of the dinginess was gone. But what I remember is the Eiffel Tower. Yeah, the river somewhere nearby, I think at a crepe place that was putting too much nutella on things. I'm not a nutella person.
Okay, rider that psycho. There's no such thing as a hotel. But continue. The French only have deserve to get into this. Yeah, I'm happy to get you.
And then truly, I would estimate four to five thousand rats.
So yeah, that's so fascinating because like, okay, another hierarchy thing. We always associate Paris with sophistication and blah blah blah blahs, like every major city has rats, so shut off, Paris has rats. The third thing that is interesting is.
Ratit doing right French? Okay, he's making the disgusting ratitude food that No, it looks totally unappealing.
What do you and what do you mean? What do you mean? Which food?
Do you mean that he's making the literal ratitudey dish? Which is what squash?
Okay?
Are you tomato sauce?
There's something messed up about me. I think squash sucks. I'm a vegetarian, so I have a right to all sail this because I've been eating a lot of weird vegetarian food that people give to me where you're on set and they're like, you're a vegetarian. There's steamed zucchini and squash in this tray, and you're like.
We dropped by the hospital on our way here and picked you something up, and.
Picked up all the sick vegetables from their death beds. And I think that those vegetables kind of suck. They don't taste like anything unless you deeply think about the seasoning, which you are allowed to do.
But people just don't or put them in a soup or put.
Them in something. And I think zucchini bread rocks. I think fried zucchini rocks. But just like plain zucchini as it is often served is a NaSTA and rattaitudi is the only form that I really like. Those vegetables, and because the only when I do it, because I make so much sauce and I put like eight hundred pounds of garlic in it.
Oh okay, this is making more sense.
And I make that shit seasoned. It tastes good. Come over, I make it remy style, rat style.
Is it beautiful? Yeah? I've never had it, and I've avoided it because of these reasons. Yes, the squash of it.
No, Richard, I will make you rat style ratitude where it is good and it makes you think of a childhood memory and you start crying.
In my house made by the delicate hands of a rat, ye little hands.
Or I'll go into your house again while you're not there and I'll make it for you underneath my chef's hat.
Uh, how did we get to you've rat it to it?
Yeah?
I really like the movie rated to it. I love that, you know, the like ironic like re embracement of it. During COVID, I was like, I could do without.
We need to stop putting irony on everything. Everyone can just be a little more sincere and have some just.
Be like, oh, it was a great movie about a rat making food. Yeah, let's move on. Yeah, I don't need everything that you remember from when you were nine suddenly becoming a punchline. No, thank you, use a little bit more thought comes off and my apologies just basically all of TikTok no.
I mean, hey, just for any young common readers, A reference is not a joke quoting a TV shows Did you.
Live through the Space Jam?
Hell? I, it's tough because I genuinely loved that movie as a kid. It is sort of inscrutable as an adult. But I used to watch that in Stoutfire like every day after school because there's like two the only v just as we had. But yes, people do love to be like posting a picture and being like remember and then nothing more. When they tried to make Lola mid or whatever that that.
Journey was, we should have just left well enough alone. But it was. Yeah, there was that period of time for probably twenty eleven to twenty fifteen when you knew someone wasn't funny when by how much Space Jam referencing they were doing.
Now, can I out myself a little?
I hope this is some devis Okay.
It's humiliating for me, but also kind of cool of me. So in two thousand and seven, I got Tumblr for the first time.
Okay, classic time.
Classic time to get a Tumblr, and I got space jam dot tumblr dot com. I was just like, oh, I genuinely think this movie is really fun and the amount of people that massive to me, it was like, can iver handle? Can I ever handle climb handle? I was like, wa, cyber squatter, Yes, uh, it was really really crazy, and so I I kind of witnessed, sort of in a really deep way, the space gam nostalgia like coming up and then I bet the request stopped coming. They always stop.
That makes sense. Well, you were really you were an early investor in this nostalgia trap.
I thought before every I remembered stuff before everybody else did.
Good for you, yea, so impressive. Yeah, what other things are you remembering?
And saying? Beanie babies? I'm remembering furbies?
Can you believe that things used to be crazy?
Yeah?
Can you?
Oh my god? Before Diddy even we didn't have to catch crazy Remember ferbies? Did you did you ever see long furbies?
What?
You simply have to google long Ferbie?
I'm doing it right now.
Are we allowed to acknowledge you have a computer in front of you.
We'll edit that out entirely people. The listener has never thought I had a computer, and that would really shatter their reality.
So I'm going to just tell you you use your Google glass. He has Google glass.
I'm kind of staring at the table, staring straight. I'm looking at the ceiling. Okay, I've got my eyes on long, long and longer Ferbie. Yes, is this was this a Furby sanctioned product? I mean you can take a peek here.
Yeah, So this isn't sanctioned by anybody, to be honest. So these are people in their homes, beautiful minded people that are I love these people that are taking Ferbies and repurposing them into weird versions of Ferbies. So it'll be like a Ferbie with big muscular arms and a big snake body that is like the size of a car for some reas, or like a Ferby with iguana legs that has like ten faces or something.
Ooh, there's one that's almost like earthworm esque. It's very smooth. I'm taking a picture of this one.
Smooth is a big, big tenet of smooth.
Intestines. That's intestines.
Yes, I've seen her.
That's a tapeworm.
Tapeworm Ferby we all have one. So these people are just like creative crafts people. And sometimes they talk like they have the functionality of a Ferby. It's so funny today.
Wow, these are and there are so many of them. I love a good, just community coming together online. I wonder what patient zero was for long Kirby.
Oh I wish there was a long Kirby.
Oh my god, no new thing. Damn, people are drawing long Kirby. I should draw a long If I had paper right now, I'd be drawing long Kirby.
Can I make another confession? Yes, I wrote a sketch about a sexy Kirby. So I think if you google sexy Kirby you will find me.
I'm googling it now. I'm turning off. Say search sexy.
And again on his Google blas.
Now searching sexy Ferby.
Pritcher, you're getting all your words, jimble jamble.
Well, now I have to look at sexy Ferby. And because of course.
They're sexy first there is Yes, those are.
Hot Ferby in fish and fish net tights.
Oh my god. I love what people are doing with their skills, like these are good drawings. These are good artists.
These are people who went to art school.
Yeah, possibly engineers for some of the ferbies that actually work.
Okay, I'm now looking at Sexy Kirby. Oh you're number one in the search yourself. There you are the video. Okay, that's a little something for me to watch after. That's a little treat. Wow, I'm so excited. And then I've got look at the gallery of photos this Sexy Kirby is. Now I feel like this we're bordering on sexual harassment. This is a workplace.
This is a workplace. But I'm like, I literally was like, did they steal my design?
Is that part of yourself?
Well?
I had to pay an artist to create three D Sexy Kirby arts, so I have emails with them, but are like can can you show the nipples or whatever? Like it's so crazy, but I love this community. But the reason I wrote that scotch just because I think it's so funny, because that takes a real three D artist to make. They cost to do this with that skill.
Yeah, they had to learn something. Yeah, like take years of like getting into these programs, yes, and then having a genuine talent to start with. Yes, And now meanwhile suddenly they have like this polygonal Kirby with giant breast.
Yes, it's like if you like learned how to become like a mechanical engineer and you could like build a full German car, and you decide to make like a car that focks a robot or something that's like, I don't.
Know, Wow, incredible. I'm surprised Nintendo hasn't shut you down. They might be coming for you.
He's down down. I don't make any money off of it. I lost money doing it. I paid somebody.
Okay, Well, now that we've discussed these two things, I feel like we need to get a sexy long Kirby, a long Kirby, a sexy long Ferby, and potentially a Ferbie Kirby that feels like that's let's try to see if I'm googling Galore today. Ferbie Kirby, Ferbie Kirby, of course it exists.
And then for miss Peaky Freby Kooby.
You know, they're less options as far as Ferbie Kirby goes, but there's at least one on Etsy.
And I love the people of Etsy, and they're doing good work forging this stuff to be tactile, taking these drugs and making them a weird item I can hold.
I wonder what Kirby has anybody ever kind of nailed down what Kirby is.
In my estimation, No.
And Kirby's gender neutral as far as I know, I think so, although we just look. I think Kirby's whatever you want Kirby to be.
I think that's nice because but it's it begs the question what does Kirby want to be?
And Kirby, I feel like, doesn't know because Kirby's always sucking up different things and trying to be different objects.
That's heartbreaking.
It's hard to hear.
It's really hard to hear.
It has no idea who it is.
Oh oh, there could be like a teen like puberty movie, like, yeah, Kirby's like sucking up the cheerleader, sucking up the ted quarterback to be like I want to be cool. And then it's like, no, this is our pitch, this is our pit, and it's like, Kirby, you need to suck up yourself.
The end of the movie, Kirby sucks itself up and destroys reality.
Okay, wait, that's actually a good movie idea. Hold on, wait, we're two professional writers. That's actually a good movie.
Idea take away from this movie is if you embrace yourself, the universe ends. Yeah, it's nothing but bad. Yes, so try to be other people. Try to try the others. Yes, wow, wow to get to sexy Ferbye Kirby Long Kirby, Long Furby. Did I look up long Kirby. No, that's that's the last one. And of course we've got long Curby as long as you want look at that.
Okay, Yeah, I was worried when I saw them. One with legs, I'm like, that's not long. But the first one satisfies the brief.
Yes, we're starting to get into some uncomfortable territory with the shape. And then the one with legs is really I mean it's got great legs.
I can't lie. Yeah, obviously it does great legs. I'm not crazy.
I'm I'm not gonna lie about that. Those legs and some stilettos and Kirby's on.
I'm sure of those legs, you know what I mean?
Wow, the internet has got it all. I think there's Kirby with some disgusting long legs. Okay, I'm gonna also shoot this one. Yeah, we've gone too far with this Kirby that Okay, we're body shaming Kirby.
That one's too much for a few reasons, because there's too many unusual things, like if Kirby remained the shape that they're supposed to be, and then you just had these ultravascular like drank a bunch of cranberry juice and no water, did a bunch of push ups before this picture was taken. Sure, but like the legs are cheo vascular. Kirby has been elongated into like a like a cone shape, yes, And then it's what's going on with its feet.
It's got two little red shoes which it obviously can't tie. It arms aren't long enough to reach. So this Kirby is just its life as hell. It went too far with the HGH. Yeah, human growth hormone, although we don't know if that would affect a Kirby.
So we don't. No one's tested it.
I'm sure somebody has created some art to do, you know.
Or is doing it right now. Kirby taking HGH.
Getting shot up by that. What's the penguin friend or the little king penguin that's in Kirby?
Oh king dd?
Like what a poll that was for me?
That's a little Maria guy.
That's no, that's uh, I'm gonna Kirby has I think a friend. Oh it's named King d d D Oh okay, d D D D d D and it looks like this.
Yeah yeah yeah, oh yeah yeah so cute.
But that's supplying steroids to Kirby.
I think I've seen King D D D like bikini artwork before.
Well, now I'm looking it up.
Let's see here, totally messing up your search. Okay, if you say I'm the first result, I'm going to pass away.
I like, I almost feel like it would be irresponsible to turn the computer towards you.
Right.
Oh no, wait is it? Is it the fake video game people made of King D D D like selling bikinis on an island or something that?
No, the first one of the first we'll have to get back to whatever you're just describing. But the first image search result is his head on a so human woman's body of photo and she's like slowly removing her bikini top. For what reason? For who?
Photoshop can be purchased by anybody, That's what we have to remember. Anyone can use the illustrator.
Okay, now I found here's that Maybe this is what you were referencing though.
This is Yeah, there's some like fake prototype video games. I think got taken down my Nintendo. That's like King Ddd's excelling skimpy bikinis on the Island of whatever.
God bless us everybody.
You guys are doing awesome stuff.
It's just incredible work. And King d d D has got There's just so many things going on on the internet. People are putting the effort in, they're showing off their talents. Yes, and we support them.
Yes, get into Risdie.
You can do no wrong in this category. Okay, we've to move away from.
Remember Bridger also, when I said this please needs more clubs, it's because you're looking up smut this podcast.
I start with, have you ever been to Paris? I'm looking at like a naked photos but Kirby huge ass. Oh wow, Well is there anything? Is there anything left to say about the Eiffel Tower? Do you know where the Eiffel? Why they built the Eiffel Tower. I feel like we should at least give a fact on this podcast.
Was it like to compete?
It was built for the World's Fair. Yeah, and I guess everybody eventually got on board with it sticking around. And then the reason the Ferris wheel was built was in it was kind of a response to the Eiffel Tower. They built the first Ferriss wheel. I think at the Chicago World Fair. That one doesn't have quite a classic of a story. It kind of is now just traveling with different circuses or whatever carnivals.
It's so interesting to hear when like famous monuments are like a response to something, right, Sadly, no one actually just wanted to make it. They're just like, oh, yeah, I can make a big object.
That's uh. I guess that's what you did before the internet, when you had like a you know, adding someone. Instead you would build a beautiful architectural thing. Yeah.
The fair swells like the original sub tweet or something like, hmmm.
It kind of was and it flopped. I mean it we still have them, but.
Got ratioed bad.
Everybody knew that thing was going to be boring. Yes, just kind of swinging there and looking junkie blowing in the wind. Yeah, Okay, Well we got some facts out and that's impressive and that's why people turn into tune into this podcast, Yeah, to learn about iconic architectural structures. Yeah, I think it's time to play a game. Okay, I think I think we're gonna play a game called Gift Master today. We haven't played it in a long time. I needed a number between one and ten. I was gonna say one and three from you. That feels sun two.
Did I win?
Maybe that should be the new rule for the games. Pick a game, pick a number between one. Uh No, pick a number between one and ten.
Three.
Okay, I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces. Okay, So right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want.
Okay. In terms of things I'd like to promote, I have a little newsletters and that's freaking free at buttondown dot com slash Rayka Schunker r e k h A s h A n k A r Shunker like Bunker and I just have creative stuff and I answer questions in the inbox and tell you what I'm doing live shows. Also, you can just like follow me on Instagram at Raika Underscore ass r ekh Underscore ass is in Samantha. Isn't that cool?
I've never clapped on this podcast, but I felt like I had to clap. That was just so efficient. I didn't know you had a newsletter.
I do, and that's simply why I have to promote it.
Okay, I'm going to get into it.
Thank you.
I love to get a nice little newsletter.
You know, I show pictures of my roommate's dog.
Oh, so you're just using people in your life. Interesting, that's what a newsletter is. I take.
I take it take and I regard to it's an aggregate. It's a fuck Jerry newsletter?
Does that still exist? Funck Jerry?
I don't know.
Was the Fat Jewish? Those were the two that like would just steal everybody's stuff and then became very famous. Yes, And I think Fat Jewish ended up in a Charlie XCX video and that was a line. That's when I was like, what time I lived my life incorrectly? Charlie reach out?
Yes, what do we have to freaking door?
Ready to get this woman's life.
Charlie XCX video. I feel like everybody is in one.
How much coke do I have to do? Come on, Charlie. I feel like we'd be on similar wavelengths with Charlie. Oh.
Yes, that's like one of those loves, like we'd get along. Just just reach.
Out I have been banging the Charlie drum for it at least a decade. Charlie reach Out. The Fat Jewish stole a bunch of tweets, and he ended up in one of your videos.
I haven't stolen anything from you.
Yes, come on, I've been nothing but good to you.
Yeah, donating my Spotify lessons.
Come on. I feel like I feel kind of inappropriate saying the Fat Jewish. But that's what his name was. Okay, just so people don't think I'm suddenly.
Pushing a button under the table. I can somebody get out of here.
Oh my god, No, No, that was his name. I'm just gonna know.
I actually think it might even be a more offensive name that he has.
Do you think that it's offensive that he did it?
I think I thought his name was that minus the ish. Oh, but I might be wrong.
Well, I'm simply not going to say.
And I'm simply not going to say it. It's a thing that's offensive for me to say. But if you are a Jewish person, whatever you like.
Okay, we're doing it some last googling.
The last Google we'll do today.
Okay, I could be wrong. Okay. His first name is Josh it's at the Fat Jewish.
Okay, I'm wrong.
So interesting. Oh but then, okay, looks like he wrote a book under the name what we were just not saying. So he's he kind of is in a Kurby situation where he doesn't know where he is or who he is. No sympathy, zero sympathy for this person. Do not reach out? What are we doing? Are we recording a podcast?
I think?
Where am I? This is how we play Charlie reach Out, Just one final button on that. This is how we play Gift Master. I'm going to three celebrities, and I'm going to name three gifts, three things you can give away, and you're gonna tell me which gift you would give which celebrity and why makes perfect sense, crystal clear? Okay, these are the celebrities. Number one Damon John of Shark tak Okay, creator of Fu Boo. Number two, Reese Witherspoon, book critic. Number three, Mark Zuckerberg, Biggest Loser Alive. There's a you know, a tear.
At this point.
These are the gifts, Okay, And actually I'm gonna dial that back a little bit. This should be a little more neutral. Mark Zuckerberg Nope, he is the biggest loser. There's no neutral thing I can say about this person. These are the thing the things you'll be giving away, a high speed chase, a romantic liaison with their optometrist, Oh my god, and number three clause.
Okay, I I'm gonna give claw Us to Damon because I think there could be something cool to do with fashion claws.
Oh if you created.
I think I think Fubu has got clothing down. But what about claws? What about your claw collection?
How about a sharp thing extending from your hands?
Kind of cool idea. I'm gonna give romantic liaison. Wow, Okay. I feel like the stereotypical answer would be to give it to Reese, right. I feel like Reese's doesn't need that. That would have so much romance in exactly, it's like eing like a chocolate maker or chocolate bar.
I'm like, I'm gonna do too much charm, too much charm.
I'm gonna give her a high speed chase. I think she could carry an action movie.
Oh. I would love to see her blasting down the five harmis burning rubber.
Yes, or maybe like in season three of Big Little Eyes.
Oh, She's like why that's how the series is headed exactly. Baryl's hot on her tail.
And she's got the strange fake teeth in.
I forgot about the teeth teeth blowing out in the way.
Yes, very Rish got too many wisdom teeth in there. It's hard to like. It's crazy. And I'm gonna give Mark Zuckerberg the romantic liaison with his aptometrisy. Yes, yes, because in theory this is what happens. Mark is like, Oh, I'm trying to see this beautiful picture, but I'm too distracted by your beauty, and the optomistress is so distracted and accidentally stabs him in the eye and takes both of them out by accident.
It's a very Greek tragedy.
Yeah, it sticks. And the optometrist was his mom.
It's a real false circle.
Yeah, it's really tragic.
Wow, beautifully played, perfectly played. I would say, thank you, Reese, good luck with the chase. Mark. Hopefully your newfound holes in your face will lead you to doing some soul searching.
Yeah.
And I'm gonna say, because there's plenty of people who do beautiful things and don't have sight that actually on his way out the automotist was distracted and so all their tools were left out, and so Mark trips on it and Pratt falls down some stairs and falls into a hole that leads into the sewer and he's covered with a shit. And then he's with all the sewer rats who are like, he's disgusting. We're eating his food. We were trying to cook with his meat, and it's disgusting if he's like crap, Rmy and Remy's like I know this steaks and they just eat his whole body.
And the devoured and it's just kind of that skeleton there, Yeah, vomited skeleton.
Yeah.
I think kind of the perfect end to the perfect day for Mark Zuckerberg. Okay, only I think we should still play your Gift or a Curse? All right, do you have a suggestion? This is how we play Gift or a Curse? Onalz is gonna name one thing and we're going to each say if it's a gift or a curse and why, and then only will tell us if we're correct, because they hold the truth.
All right, Gifter, a curse, movie theater, collectible popcorn buckets, Oh curse?
Why I don't that's just crap. In my house. I could have a bowl that does the same thing. I don't need the dune popcorn bucket that looks like a wormhole or whatever. It's taking up too much room for something that I will not eat out of because it's too special. But it's supposed to be eaten out of.
I agree curse. First of all, I'm so tired of these things that are built to go viral. Enough is enough. I don't care what it looks like. I don't want to see it on whatever stupid website saying you've got to see this bucket for no karateu or whatever. Second of all, I don't want to eat popcorn out of a plastic object. I want to eat it out of I want to feel that paper on the side, like waxy paper. I don't feel like popcorn is going to taste as good coming out of this disgusting, hard plastic. It makes no sense to me. Yeah, I think it's just a horrible idea. I don't think they should sell them. I think everyone that's associated with that should be banished from You know, they're using their art skills for evil. They should be drawing long pictures of Kirby in sexy costumes and giving them away for free, rather than teaming up with AMC to sell you know, the Reese Witherspoon car Chase bucket.
You know its car is such a bad vehicle for popcorn. And I didn't even mean to use vehicle. That's a pun.
Also, I'm just not going to buy your popcorn anyway. I don't buy popcorn at the movie theater.
I have something to say.
Oh I don't like popcorn. Oh, I am so happy to hear this. I am not a popcorn eater. I have when people buy it, Like when I'll go to the movies with the move, They'll be like, do you want to have some? There's not even a temptation either.
I've never I never I like cattle corn, but even that I'm never gonna buy.
No, I like my hand is never like out of control going towards it.
It's so dry. Yes, at least crap in my teeth. And like I there are just so many other salty snacks. I would rather eat.
A hundred crackers. I will eat before one piece of popcorn.
Oh, a club cracker? Are you kidding me?
Have you ever had a sociable that's a good cracker?
Is that like a literal synonym for like club, Like what's going on? What's a sociable?
It was just a very fancy good cracker. I wasn't actually fancy. I feel like Keebler made them. Oh but it had a great name. Yeah, a great snap. Yeah.
I would love to eat just like a cookie, like a big fat cookie.
Oh, I make a good one, a very good one.
Wait, give it to me. Stop talking about I can give it to me.
Show up at my house when I'm not there.
I'll take it from your friend Analis.
How did we do well?
I have to say, I'm just like about to have this release, this big sigh of joy because I have wanted to say the word wrong for so long.
God, this is gonna be a big argument.
Oh I'm ready. I'm ready because what you call evil Bridger, I call whimsy.
Call whimsy. You know what we don't have.
We used to have a lot of collectible stuff in the nineties. We don't anymore. This is like the one place where people actually get to exercise that kind of creativity. And also, who who wants to eat out of a bowl at home when you can eat out of a collectible bucket?
On Alice you have never been more wrong. Your job is hanging by a thread. Absolutely not, despite you me just saying you're the one with never.
It's fine because AMC will welcome me with open arms. They're going to cancel corn for life.
Okay, yeah, because it's disgusting and they're trying to get as.
Much as you get out of my hair. Wrong, wrong, wrong, Okay, well we all did perfectly right there. We need to answer a listener question. This is called I said no emails people write into I said no gifts at gmail dot com. Will you help me answer a question I'd love to you. Okay, this is Hello Bridger. Oh, hello Wise Bridger and discerning guests. Okay, we're both on top of the world. It is time to plan my daughter's eleventh birthday party, and I need some original ideal. I need some original ideas from you, lovely people. It is expected to give all it is expected. Oh yeah, I guess I'm sense. It's expected to give all the attendees a party favor to say thanks for coming. In the past, I have given cheap trinkets from party City that are soon thrown away, or I have bought jewelry at Claire's kind of the party city of jewelry. In my opinion, that's an editor's note. Jewelry at Claire's on sale that still somehow totals almost one hundred dollars. I'd like to get them something that they will truly enjoy but won't break the bank. What can I get for a bunch of fifth grade girls who at their last birthday party drew on themselves with red markers and played haunted house in our basement? What am I to do with these wild creatures? Yours sincerely? They did not give a name, and they just said exasperated child wrangler, So we don't even know if this is a Oh I guess you said daughter. I was going to say, is this you know, the local child's care and that would have been an important detail obviously.
Yes, Okay, Wow, this is really interesting because I have been a fifth grade girl party attendee okay, and I've been, you know, a receiver of a goodie bag, and there.
Are some ones can speak to this.
Yes, a very common item people would put in sometimes, like little tiny notepads. Oh and I found those kind of weird because a notebook is so maybe this is because I always liked writing. I'm like, if I have a notebook, it's for like a really specific purpose. So like this little tiny notebook on a keychain does nothing for me. With the home I'm supposed to.
Write most what are you? You can write a letter? Yeah?
And I also would be like, oh it's too pretty, I won't write in it. I'm like, what is it's very much?
Bucket energy? Popcorn? Bucket energy?
Yes?
Worthless? Yes? Worthless? Uh? Okay, So you're saying, don't get those, don't.
Get those, I'm gonna start negative, don't get those.
I'm gonna start positive and say, have you ever heard of a tutsi roll?
Candy?
And about a single tutsi roll?
Food items are good? Okay, single tutsi roll would be such a bummer goodie bag. They're gonna spend more on the bag than the tutsi roll. That's like a bag of twotsy rolls. Because with like one hundred twos year olds, you have like ten party guys, you go it ted and you, an adult, keeps the rest.
This is what you do. You buy a bag of tutsi rolls and as they're on their way out, you say, hold out your hand and you place a tootsy.
Roll then yeah, perfect, Okay. I don't know what breaking the bank in this definition means. If someone gave me, like a full TwixT bar, oh, I would be like, holy frack of course, and that a twix bar is like what one fifty two bucks?
That's a good candy bar. Prices are all over them.
All over the map. So I'll say, I'll say, I'll even be crazy. I'll say, like four dollars, that's nuts.
I'm gonna now, I of course have to compete. I'm gonna say, if I were to go to Target right now, I could get a twix bar for a dollar twenty nine.
Let's do it. Let's say it's between I don't actually think it's four dollars. I just think someone's drain read is going to have a.
Full joined read. They've got your corner. You're there for your medicine.
Yes, I don't know how many people at this party, let's say fifteen. Sure, I'm like, okay, three bucks, forty five bucks, Okay, I would be happy if I got a TwixT bar. Leave it a party.
I think this is because you were born before twenty ten. I feel like children are no longer impressed by a full sized candy bar.
It was so unbelievable.
It was together shocking. It was like, oh my god, my parents are broke. My friends they've got this much much money is they're just throwing money over and they're giving these things away. But yeah, I don't know that a child cares about a full sized candy bar anymore. I could be wrong, okay, but I mean as someone you're just at a tutsi roll.
Your answer was disturbing. That is that is criminal.
Behin and I am going to stand behind it. If you want to get fruities, the ones that are fruit flavored, okay, go all the way with the fruities.
Why are you even eating a tutsi roll? If that's the kind of crap.
Have you had a lime or an orange fruity?
No, Because, Delicious, I'm an adult and I have a brain.
You're an adult who is missing out on life. An orange or lime tutsy for as long as they've been around, the flavor profile is very accurate. I mean, I haven't had one in a favor long time, so I don't actually know what I'm saying. Delicious, You're wrong. They're better than a classic tutsi roll, because no one knows what a classic tutsi roll is even supposed to taste, Like, what is that flavor?
I feel so sick.
Okay, I'm going to just have to stuff everything you've said down because I think you're crazy. But these kids seem like they like drawing. They droll over themselves.
Oh yes, which almost sounded like it was in witch territory. Yes, stigmata this kind of thing.
We'll get them some stigmata or like, what about those like pens that like, I mean, these are also kind of junk, but that like click and have multiple colors.
Those are fun.
Those are fun and maybe a throwback their throwback. They only work like three times.
If you're lucky. Each color gets like half a sentence.
Hmm.
I wonder if they've got like an elevated version of that At this point, I feel like they should one that you can count on that you get all three colors, yeah, the green, the red, the blue, Yeah, and you know that the ink will always be there, the welle will never run dry.
Yeah.
That feels like a shark tank item.
That does Okay? Can I say a psycho pitch that also came to mine? M hmm, A little a little bottle of Martin Ellie's.
How little classic? You really are all about class?
Ultimately, I'm just about classic.
You assume everybody is in the gutter and you're trying to elevate.
These girls are going to school with their little milk boxes. Give them a glass of Martin Ellis. That'll show them what's what at that school.
I think that's a great idea, and those are probably each uh well again, I have no.
Idea because it's in a glass bottle. They probably are actually crazy expensive.
Thought.
I bet you go to Costco they've got, you know, and talk about emergency preparedness.
The extra for year, just like you're doing with the chutzi rolls.
Tootsi rolls.
What a cool parent.
That's French food.
Oh I wish that was French food.
Well, I think we answered the question perfectly. They're getting Martinelli's and maybe, if you're lucky, a tutsi roll if they're lucky.
Yeah, if you're lucky, your kids get to eat a fruit flavored thing that could be chocolate.
Oh well, don't write back in whoever you were, Rik, I've had such a lovely time with you here.
Likewise, Bridger.
I've got now this little Eiffel tower to class up. Any oh oh, it says Paris on the side, just like the like the like the original Eiffel tower.
The original one says Paris. You might not see it because it's either that you're too closier or too far away you.
Can't see, or you're too stunned by the beauty.
You might be sun by the beauty, or you're on top of it. You can't see it right, but it's there.
It's a very obvious, i would say, borderline tacky thing. They got on there, and you have your little.
Cow because I'm too classy, so I kind of need to rough it up and.
You uh to hold some hold I'll say it a tootsi roll.
Yeah, if you kind of bite it to it's your own half and kind of stuff. Both pieces in here on top of your ice cream. Already very decadent. You could do it.
You could do it. Open that cow if I half chewed.
Yeah, in like thirty years.
Your estate sale.
Yeah, I'm going to die in thirty years.
Yes, I'm sorry. This is also kind of a psychic podcast. No, so just get your affairs in order, that's all. I'm saying, no, why do I have to be responsible for that?
Yeah, you do it, you clean up my mess.
I'm dead. Yeah, I'm suffer here.
Yeah, and I got the cheap funeral where they tell me all the bad things I did.
Oh well, thank you for being here, Thank you for having me listener. The podcast is over. What were you expecting? What did you think was going to happen? It's done. The audio is coming to a complete halt. I love you, goodbye. I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is on Alise Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by Miracle Worker Amy and we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram. At I said no Gifts, that's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?
And I invited you hear.
THOUGHTA made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests, you're.
Our presences, presents, And I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare to surbey me
