I Said No Gifts! A comedy interview podcast with Bridger WinegarBowen Yang, Jeff Hiller, and Sydnee Washington Disobey Bridger While Hundreds of People Watch in Horror (Live at The Bell House)
Live from The Bell House, Bridger's attempt to have a peaceful night nearly gets shot in front of a berserk audience as he's battered by gifts from Bowen Yang, Sydnee Washington, and Jeff Hiller, then shocked by the appearance of Carl Tart. Topics include dental emergencies, dry cookies, and haunted islands. Featuring a beautifully devastating take on the theme song by Fenne Lily.
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Okay, we're about to get into the live show episode, which is just going to blow your socks off, as it did with all the audience members in the audience. But I should tell you another exciting thing. We now have a home version of Gift or a Curse. You can now play officially Gift you a Curse at home. It's a card game that is essentially the game we play here on the podcast, but you can take it to parties, you can take it to gatherings, you can take it to Thanksgiving, and you can really get into arguments with your friends and family. You can hurt feelings, you can end friendships, possible divorce. This is the game that is really going to ruin your holidays. Go to exactly right store dot com and you can buy all of our merch there, of course, but now we have the addition of Gift to a Curse card game, which you have to get or you can google. I said, no Gifts merch. Sometimes that's easier if you don't want to remember a website, you know whatever. Okay, now the live episode.
Hello, welcome to I said No Gifts live. Here to sing the theme song, Please welcome Finn Lily.
I invited you here. I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty andy, I said, no, gives your presences personsoner and I'm already have too much stuff.
So how did dissobidity me?
Sounds like I'm about to cry. I'm not. And then there's this cool bit Welcome to? I said, no gifts. I'm Bridge of Wine again.
Come over, is this microphone working? This microphone is working? Oh no, what the hell? If this is moving? Loud for Lily everybody. Unbelievable, unbelievable. You will not be invited back. Welcome to, I said, no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineger.
We're in go on us.
We can all picture backyard picture helicopters non stop overhead children screaming. I took a red Eye here, which a direct flight, and if anyone knows me, I prefer a connecting flight and we can get into that later. It is the better way to fly. I don't want to fight about it. I was in boarding group F so that was nice, but I'm here. Annalise Nelson unfortunately couldn't be here tonight. They were detained at the airport. The last thing I said to them was let me know if anything changes, and I haven't heard so on. Lise is not here, but we're going to try to keep things going. And none of you are safe. They're not here to protect you. See all the doors. What else do we have to talk about? A former Fort Green resident here? Do you have anybody from Fort Green? Do you still think about me? Yes? I was in Fort Green for a year and then I had to get out. Whatever there were rats. Look, I'm just gonna say something. You're all gonna be very disappointed. We almost had the ratsar here tonight. Rats are Kathleen is unfortunately out of town, but the fact that she was possibly going to be here is just unbelievable. We'll have to book her at another point. But let's let's get into the show here. I you know, there's something we do on the show which is give away some of the beautiful items that I've received over the years, not because I don't want my home full of garbage, but because I care. And so we've got three. Look at this. Can you imagine a more adorable bag?
Look at that?
That's so cute. Some little baby booties. I'm gonna pick three people from the audience. And I have to say, when I booked this, I did not realize there was this much standing room. There is not a worse podcast in the world to have to stand through. So I apologize, and I'm doing nothing about it. But here I come, here, I come. Let's find some people here. And if this is something you don't want to do, be honest with me. Tell me your feelings. I'm not dragging you on stage. If you don't want to be here, we will pick somebody standing up first.
We have to.
That's only fair. It's only fair to let them sit for a minute. Let's see here, Oh, I mean, someone's pointing at a person. I don't pick when they're being pointed at because that person might be, you know, uncomfortable. Let's see here. Would you like to come up? What's your name? Paul?
Paul?
Go to the stage? Now? Okay, Now, let's see. You're all discovering how small I am. Uh, let's see here. Boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo. Would you like to are you sure? Okay? What's your name? Elena to the stage. Okay, Now, let's I and I know people love someone just picking people from an audience for long periods of time, So I'm going to extend this. Let's see here.
Boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo.
I wish Kathleen the Ratsar was here. Let's see here, let's see. How about you? What's your name?
Jacob?
Jacob, come to the stage. I'm going there as well. Okay, okay, there's a seat here, take a seat. Well, that's this is the perfect podcast to be presumptuous. Yeah, take a seat. Let's see. Do you each have a microphone? Oh now, now it's becoming a problem. This is clearly my seat. Yeah, it's fine, everything's fine. Okay, I'm you know the outfits I choose to wear for this thing. Let me just take a quick drink. I'm sorry. We're gonna play Gift or a Curse? Do you all know how to play? I would be so humiliating for me if you didn't know how to play this. Okay, so remind me of your name. Okay, here we go. I'm putting in my password. My password is my computer. There's nothing on here, okay, and then we're gonna oh the gloves. See, this is why the glove is one little problem for the show. Okay, we're getting into it now, there's gonna be nothing on that screen, so you can just turn away. Now, Okay, you're up. You're each going to get two. You're gonna have to tell me if they are a gift or a curse and why. And you can absolutely lose in front of an entire your friends and family, your community, and that would be awful. But you can also win two options number one gift or a curse. Heated steering wheels gift?
Why because it's a little luxury. What's wrong with that? That seems lovely. It's unnecessary, but it makes life a little nicer if you have thyroid problem.
Oh, here we go.
Now this makes it impossible for or Hashi Moto syndrome, and you have cold hands. My back is against the wall.
It's a gift. It's a gift.
Look, it may lead to a lot of sweaty palms sliding all over the steering wheel, which seems like an issue, but what you've just described makes them a gift and well played. Okay, and I should I should say these all came from Instagram yesterday. Everyone just poured in these things in a way that I didn't look. I don't believe in any of you, so it was a real surprise for me. No, they're fantastic. Okay. Number two gift or a curse? Hulu with ads?
Curse?
Why the ads?
I don't want to watch ads ever, period fifty.
It's a gift I love. I am here to tell you you want these things with ads? Don't you want a little break from paying attention? Don't you want an allotted time to look at your phone and see and then we're all The only thing all of us know anymore is commercials, and to have that is a bonding moment for everyone. Get rid of the premium unsubscribe from all of your streaming services. Why not? But if you have to use them, you've got to get them with the ads. Okay, so you did technically win. Let's see here. Let's see here. Oh though, Okay, this is a very nice gift. You want to open it up? Sure? Yeah. It's a twenty twenty three friends calendar with a bunch of memes we all know, we all remember I whitened them. This is from Jackie Johnson, the wonderful Jackie Johnson and if you wait, I think six years you'll be able to use it again. There's a T shirt and to take care of that friend's calendar, there's a T shirt for you. So that's that's worth something that's worth big money. Ah okay, remind me your name, Paul, Paul? Are you ready?
Hope?
So putting the password in again again? That's m y CEO MPU t e er Number one gift to a curse when a CEO sends an email on behalf of a brand saying, my team is going to hate this. I shouldn't be doing this. It's twenty percent off.
That is absolutely a gift because anytime you get those emails, those communications that are just so transparently transactional where it's I have to lower myself. The people whose job it is to control me simply can't control me. I love that that pamn to seem humane, to seem like it's not horribly orchestrated. To save a massive twenty percent is just I can't say incomparable because that would be a little.
Bit too much.
But it's wonderful.
It's a gift. Absolutely, it's a gift. Thank you, CEOs fording you know, standing up against your teams, those horrible people who don't want to give twenty percent of and emailing me personally. It's such a nice thing for these people to reach out. Gift okay, number two, gift or a curse. Pulling up next to someone, when someone you know at a red.
Light, Oh, that that is an absolute curse because you're you're glancing over at them, you're waving. You you can't honk because then they're gonna think something's wrong, that they're they pissed somebody off. So you're waving like an idiot. You're trying to do I roll down the windows and shout at them. And there is absolutely no right choice in the situation. There is no victory. At best, you hopefully get their attention and they go, oh hi, and and.
For what It's a curse. It's a curse. It's a curse. We all agree that's the one of the worst feelings on earth. That is a huge, absolute bottom element of human feeling. Uh. But on the other hand, pulling up next to someone who cut you off the dream better than becoming president, like the power you feel. Oh so you got two out of two incredible? Okay, here we go. Do you want to open that up?
All right?
Thank you and see what's happening. Isn't that bag?
Here's the book.
Oh, it's every man's battle, winning the.
War on sexual temptation, one victory at a time.
I stand by this book. I tried to get one for everyone in the audience. But you are gonna love this. Your life is going to turn around in a way that you don't understand, and then you'll pass it on to someone else. It's kind of like the ring that's from James Austin Johnson. I used it. I got my life back on track, and now I want to return the favor to you.
Thank you so much.
Of course, remind me your name. Oh, let's all give him a hand. That was very well placed. Jacob, Jacob. Time for gift. You're a curse. My computer's still open. Number one gift, You're a curse. Millennial influencers talking about their little family.
Gift.
Why?
How good do you feel about your choices when you watch these?
Of course you're right talking to my little family here. I think we all agree that we love when you know Heather from high school is posting about her little family feels incredible. What a warm feeling. Okay, one out of one so far are very good. Number two gift or a curse someone suggesting their therapist or doctor.
This is a New York specific one. So I'm gonna say blessing or gift.
Okay, okay, because I don't know what podcasts you're listening to, but we've got exits.
Everywhere, because how many people don't have a primary care doctor.
So if you have a good one, let me know.
You're right. It's a gift for two reasons. First, for this one, none of my friends won't tell me their therapist. I don't know why. Maybe I'm too much of a person for their therapist. But also, when you do it unsolicited, I mean, when someone does that, that's very interesting to hear. We love what a move to say, I've got a therapist for you. I love that behavior. I support it. Okay, will you pass this gift down to him? All right? Reach in there. Okay. Now I have to apologize in advance. I have to be very clear. I got this at the last live show from Carl Tart in Los Angeles. At the last show, we had some some menaces when I gave away gifts, and I thought Carl lives in LA I can give this away. Safety's garbage. I could not possibly want that in my life. And it's you're not going to enjoy it.
And hold your horses, mister postman. What that's right, Carl, that's me.
I snuck in here like a thief in the night.
Nobody saw me, Nobody saw me sit down. Nobody saw the stage manager come and take this big old microphone from my hand. Nobody saw it.
Did you follow me here?
I did? I followed you here. I even moved to Fort Green. Can you believe it?
Oh?
And that is true.
I am a new resident of the Fort Green area.
We love the Fort Green area, except for that evil building they're building there.
That's where I live, that's where you live. I'm the batman.
Well, Carl, I don't understand you have a problem.
Yeah, how are you gonna say that's garbage? That's good stuff right there, that's real tree cologne.
Well what do you want me to do about it? Do you want to reclaim it?
Yeah?
If you don't want it, I'll take it back. I'm a new resident of New York. I'm trying to date. I hear dating here is much easier than it is in Los Angeles because everybody in Hollywood is an actor.
Well, if you want it so bad, why don't you come up and win it? Well?
I guess I will.
Okay, let's see how about that now, Carl. At the last show you redeemed yourself. You were the first loser at this game, and then you won last time. Okay, you're putting it all on the line.
I'll sit over here the perfect place.
Are you.
This is gonna be one out of one, okay, and you're both gonna answer, and then i'll tell you who's right and who gets to smell great for another year?
All right?
Okay, Gift, You're a curse? Someone giving you a book as a gift, then asking over and over if you've read it, Jacob, Gift, why.
You get to talk with your friend more?
This show's becoming very sentimental. I'm not not entirely on board with it. Carl, how do you feel.
An absolute curse? And I'll tell you why. I'm a people pleaser. So then I'll go and I'll read that book. But I don't get through books very fast. And now I just moved here and I take the train places. Have you guys heard of this thing. It's awful. It's the worst thing I've ever been a part of. I don't care what none of y'all say. It's so convenient. Oh, I guess you everywhere go to hell. The train is disgusting.
And if I get through a Curse subway.
But I have to say that because that's the only time that I'll probably have to read the book is on the s way, and then I'll be stabbed by a rant. So you're saying, curse, curse, Oh, Jacob, you win the cologne.
It's a gift. It's a gift. I want my friends checking in on me. I want those calls in the middle of the night. I want them showing up. Did you read the book? It shows they care about the gift and they care about me, And that's all what I want for my friends is their undivided attention. So you win, and Carl, unfortunately you you blew it.
Another year of cursed single without my real Tree cologne. It atters, Hodie, you know, Carl Tart, everybody, I'm going to keep the mic and chime in from time to time.
You three have done a great job. Everybody, give them a hand wonderful. Enjoy those gorgeous gifts. And you reuse those bags, people will be impressed. People will love those bags. Those each costed a dollar seventy nine. Okay, So I forgot to do something, and I've been sweating because I was supposed to do this before they came up, which is take off this robe. So I'm in a place right now where my face is wet. Okay, So at the last show, I wore a particular thing. I don't What I have to say is I don't get a lot of clothing on this podcast, and I think that speaks to the quality of guests we're getting. I should be receiving better clothing and more clothing, and so I don't have a lot of things to wear. And I wore this gorgeous Kiki solet tunic and I kind of felt like I painted myself into a corner. I didn't want to do the same thing here, so I thought, why not have another surprise with the other two pieces of clothing that I got on the podcast. So I'm gonna take this off and I'm just gonna apologize. Stop looking at her. Okay, but this was supposed to take longer. But you can you can see this is not stage worthy clothing. These are These are from Rob Huebel, This is from Dylan Galula and Brody Koped a sensible shirt and these disgusting pants that Rob got for free. So now I have to take this off. Oh so bear with me here. Okay, Oh I did diet. I died it for your pleasure. Thank god. Vagabond was on recently and she can me this gorgeous yellow dye, and I thought, what a good use for that. And look at me using a different mic. That's how versatile I am. Uh So, okay, we've got this on. And now, okay, I mentioned the standing room, which I hate, but it does. We're always trying to find a new way to make this show more of a rock you know, it's a it's a rock and roll show, I think, trying to bring these elements of the true rock and roll nature of the show. So I thought I was at a concert recently and there was a beach ball being bandied about, so I brought this. I do not want to see this in the air. If I see it in the air, I will rip it to shreds. So what we're gonna do is pass it politely to each other until we hear a sound effect? Could we hear the sound effect?
Beach ball? Beach ball?
Is that very clear? The last person with the beach ball will of course they'll win something gorgeous. So there's gonna be attension all night. And again, I cannot be more clear. If it's in the air, the ball is going to be ripped to shreds. I'm not getting around here, So politely hand the ball around, please, and you know if you if it gets to the last person, then it goes back around. That's how the passing things works. Okay, what's your name? Caitlin is the chief of the ball, and we'll begin the ceremony. Now, incredible. If I'm distracted by the ball, Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, what a program we've got tonight. And I haven't got every I think I've gotten through all of our business. Here. Is there anything I'm forget? Oh it sounds like someone's here. Who could that possibly be?
Oh it's bowling?
Ey?
Hey, pressure, well, and welcome to I said no gifts I brought.
I brought something.
Oh god, well, then put it away. I can't have em. I'm trying to run a show here.
I missed, I missed.
The rats are talk what what what? What's been covered? Kathleen was you know, she was supposed to be here.
It's a friend of a that we'll say a friend a listener is a friend.
Mayor Eric.
He ran into some trouble and she's trying to bail him out.
Uh.
And she's out of town, so she can't be here.
And I told you, well, there are rats in other cities.
And now she's on tour. And now she's on tour, she's touring arenas, she's you know, it's a festival shows. People are Kathleen totally what are you gonna be for Halloween?
We were just talking about this. I it's so like it's it's basically cosplay. It's such a thin line between Halloween costume that's like witty or whatever and like pure cosplaying. Like the only psychic energy I have this year is for cosplays. So there's a there's a character in Zelda named Tingle and do you know tle?
My God, I googled, I hope everyone's played the latest to Zelda video games? Yes again the exit.
Uh.
I googled why is Tingle not in Breath of the Wild? Yeah, And there wasn't a clear answer.
There's no clear answer.
You can get a Tingle costume, you can get a Tingle armor, but it's not the same.
Tingle is kind of a how do would you describe Tingle?
He's like an impish little uh. He manipulates time, I think.
And he's kind of like he's an adult man.
He's an adult man.
Uh in kind of a like almost like.
A costume and like a onesie.
He's a huge fan of the main character, yes, of Link.
I think he's just I think he's a fan of He's.
A participant of life, and that's what we should all be.
So you're going to be Tingled.
I'm gonna be Tingle, and I don't know what I'm gonna do with it, but I ordered like an am dais kind of a costume. I don't know, like something mot motes Aret dropping his new single. Maybe that's that he has a new he has a new song out?
He does?
Does he really?
They discovered like some new piece of music, right, yeah, okay, okay, yeah, But.
With Mozart, with these composers, I'm always like, well, but that's not you on the record, Oh my god, cover damn, where did you get the Tingle costume.
There's it's just like a cosplay website and so I I, I don't know.
I'm not doing my best, but.
It feels like you're planning. You're going to be ready for the thirty first. Yes, that's so exciting.
What are you gonna be? Have you? Have you talked about this?
I don't know. I never know until the very last minute. I haven't been. I don't think i've dressed up in a couple of years. The last time I dressed I was a woman having a horrible vacation and uh, something that's always floating and I don't know, I haven't done it yet. Cynthia Nixon, Oh my god, it's gonna happen at some point. It feels like it's in my back pocket all the time in case I can't think of another costume, Like.
What kind of what form of Cynthia Nixon will you take?
Well, it's difficult because I'm not really a Miranda, so.
Not at all.
You do gilded age Cynthia. You could do Ama daya Cynthia. She's an Ama Day, She's Amiday Young. Cynthia Nixon is a nomou.
This is a This is a podcast exclusive. No One's ever known that, but it is the only person who's held that knowledge. Wow, who is she in Norma dayas? Okay, that must be an Ami Davis fan. Who's this? Let's see here, Let's see who's there. Oh I got Sydney Washington.
Oh my god, Oh Sydney, Welcome to I said, no gifts.
Hello, Hello, I am the gift.
You are always the gift. There's that, always the gift. We were just talking about Halloween costumes.
Oh, I do see people who don't know me.
I'm like infamous for really fucking up on Halloween last year. I used nail glue to put on vampire fangs.
And I didn't know.
I didn't.
I like, I know that your nails pop off sometimes, so I was like, oh, the fangs are just gonna pop off at the end of the night. And that's not No, that's not how it works. So hell, don't do that, don't you now?
Glue y'all?
How long were they on there?
Whole twenty four hours?
Oh that's terrifying.
Yeah.
My dentist saw everything go down on Instagram and he's like, Hey, I'm in the Hampton's but I'm about to draw to the city because you've got to get these off. And I said, you're right, because I'm going to SNL that night and I don't want to be in fang.
So he worked out for me.
Was it painful to get them off?
The drilled the nail is? Yeah, it was a mess. Yeah, I asked him.
I said, how long have you been a dentist? He said about thirty five years? And I say, how many times have you seen this? He said four? Whoa, I'm not the first baby, so that is a flex.
But tell everyone.
So Sidney did some like crowd sort of like sourcing on like what to do, like non procedural solutions, right and what were they like?
Soak your mouth in actone?
So I suggested that actone. The said, uh, vodka, but I'm sober. So I was like, if I was a drinker, absolutely and then and then what else did they say?
Yeah?
They said, oh, oh, olive oil. They said if I just keep using olive oil, it was wild. I was like, oh, y'all hate me and y'all want me to die.
Did you try the olive oil?
No you don't.
Yeah, you're saying I have a yeah, but they're dumb. They're absolutely dumb.
Yeah, but was this your dentist following you or just a dentist was like, I've got to save this person.
I have my own dentists.
Yeah, but he's following you on the Instagram.
Sorry, so that's a big head of me. I'm like, I have my own dentists.
How dare you?
Yeah?
No, But other dentists were telling me, They're like, do not listen to the internet.
They don't know, right, yeah?
Right? Oh, I'm glad you made it out. So what are you going to be this year? Vampire?
No? I want to be.
I don't know if y'all saw Jojah Cat's Coachella performance, but her dancers were like all hair, and so I wanted to have like all hair costume, like cousin it but blonde, y'all.
I'm not on board.
Okay, y'all gotta see the performance is dope. I just want to run up to people like, ah, you know, and then I want somebody to brush my you know, it's cute. I have a vision, y'all. Not on board?
And do you have to just buy a bunch of wigs so constructed or you're finding that online?
I would have to order bundles of like hair and it's very expensive, so I'm not gonna do it.
Thousands of dollars I'm gonna I'm not gonna do it. Yeah, that is Oh my god. People are just showing up non stop. Who could that possibly be? Oh, it's dope, Jeff. What if we didn't ask your Halloween costume? We just started talking about something else. Okay, no, I want to.
Know what I'm gonna wear. Yes, well, I already told Sydney this and she was like, I hate this answer.
Hear it, hear it.
Tell them I'm not gonna be in town, so I probably am not gonna do anything.
Where are you going to be?
I have to be honest, I probably wouldn't do it if I were in town either.
I understand.
I'm not really someone who attends social functions. So the idea of just like dressing up from a cat, I don't know it has diminishing returns.
Okay, well that's fair. I mean, I just admitted to not wearing that many costumes a lot. It's a chore, it's homework, it's difficult.
But also I have literally a closet full of wigs and costumes. I don't I think I did sketch comedy so long. It's like, right, I already had to buy a dumb constant to play whatever character I had to play for free.
Wow, we really sound washed up up here. Come on, Sween, it's fun. Halloween is fun. One Halloween, I dressed up as a as a Barbie and then I got kate out and then I went to McDonald's and got and got kicked out.
But I got a free sausage McMuffin, so.
He earned it.
We don't do that no more. Everybody's too busy.
They out, but they give you food.
Well, what happened was I was ordering it. I was ordering my sausage and then I went into a k hole. I had to catch you, and they were like, you have to go. But then they gave me my sausage, make my phone, and I have to.
Pay, So I was like.
All the homeless people were like, so we just need to do k oh.
That's funny for me.
I was like, the big disappointment of this trip outside of rats are is, I wanted to go to Heart Island. Are you familiar with Heart Island?
I've heard of it, the one on the on the Hudson.
Yes, they've opened it to the public. There are a million people buried there, and there's a I mean, it seems like they tried to put every haunted thing they could possibly put on this island, including probably a haunted carnival, but maybe I think that's not on the list.
I don't know.
There was a prison, there was an asylum, there was a what do you get where do they put people with typhoid?
A room?
A sanitarium?
Yes, they've put I don't know what's happening.
I'll take your answer, amplify.
You haven't been able to visit it until now. Wow, you have to plan a month out and it's now under the Parks and Recreation banner, and so you can go out to this island where all of these Jane and John doees have Basically it's like, I mean, it's very tragic, but it's also such a spooky place.
Wait, so everybody everybody is.
Dead, everybody, most of the people on the island are mostly dead.
So you that's the same island.
No? Wait, what I made a bad joke.
I'm sorry I was.
I was like, they did Las dead whatever.
Okay, but I'm confused. Is there something going on there? Do they have like a carnival and they're just gone.
It's you just kind of go and wander around. Have you been to Governor's Island? Yeah, you've got to go to I went recently. Such a bizarre experience. They have an abandoned motel six. All of these abandoned buildings, or at least they feel abandoned. You could just wander into them and be scared out of your mind.
Yeah.
And then they've got a restaurant and a spa, which I hear.
The spa is great.
It's gotta be nice. Yeah, if you put it on a hunted island, you better make it as good as possible.
Governor's Island is hunted.
To according to me, I'm hearing nose and that's wrong. Governor's Island.
I like that. There's a definitive answer. Someone's like, no, it isn't. I've checked it out.
Now I can tell you some real haunted islands. No, I go to Governor's Island, get on the ferry. It's uh, it's probably not that fun, but it's Halloween time.
Why not they have events there? They have events like what kind of Governor's Island? Not at the dead one.
I have a story for Governor's Island. But I'm not gonna say it. Ya don't.
You don't deserve it?
But what is the story?
What's the story?
It was?
It was so there was a party for like a like a big house music, a lot of DJs. It was like deep house, and so deep house is like soulful music. There'll be like a Jill Scott with like a beat that's on repeat. And so I went there and I was rolling around in the that's how that's how good the maley was.
So Yeah, that Governor's Island, they got good parties. That's what I was going to say.
Did they give you any free fear?
Dude?
Yeah, why would you want food you're partying?
Did you Jack McMuffin as well?
No?
No, that is what I was wanting, was the story where you got more free food. But I guess if you do enough. Molly, yeah, we used to call it X not the same is not M D m A. Isn't that what it is?
Molly m D m A.
It's more cool like cool Molly, you know with my girl Molly, Like oh.
You just mean like the name is not the same, but the drug.
Yeah, Molly is uh m D M A you get from people with jobs. If that makes any sense, that's a good one. I like the feels like like kind of almost aunt and uncle responsible types, right right.
But MDMA sounds so yeah.
Yeah, maybe it's the reverse. Yeah, that's the reverse. Absolutely, Molly is their kids, Ye, mdm A. You can take that from your aunt and uncle. I think absolutely. And again I'm speaking as an expert. Now, you three have been on the podcast before. You've all given me beautiful gifts. Bowhen you gave me some Japanese bath powders that were so wonderful. Sydney, you gave me a little light that gives a real mood to a room and a place Lalla byes.
It was called a sex light. That's what I called. It's a lighting for sex.
And Jeff, you gave me what is known as a cotton toe topper.
It's a sock for just your toes. Say you can wear.
Mules, and you know I'm a mule guy.
Yeah.
I felt like you set me up.
To be like my gift wasn't as good as the other two esteemed members of the I've.
Used all of these gifts a lot of times. Okay, you're all looking at me like, that's not true. I think we have a video. Oh oh oh, I use every gift. I'm not a wasteful person. I'm not a wasteful person. That's all I have to say. But what I'm trying to get to is the podcast is called I said no gifts, and I feel like we have three slow learners.
Yeah.
I invited you all here in front of a live audience, which is a much harder to edit around. You know, when a mistake is made, you're gonna be embarrassed. And I'm you know, I'm very generous to my guests. We edit a lot out so they're not humiliated. So I was a little surprised when you all repeated the same error that you made on the first appearance of the podcast, which is bring a beautiful three beautiful gifts.
Yeah.
Well, well, have anything to say for yourselves?
Should we can we ask before we open the gifts? Do you have to pack all of this and go back back and then bring this back to LA.
That's a great question, because I've made a hard rule for myself that I only do a carry on wow. But I will find a way, Yeah, I will find I'm not a wasteful person.
Okay, I assumed you would be driving back to Los Angeles in a large U haul trup.
This honestly did not cross my mind. And that's fine, And that's fine. That's part of the prison I've built for myself. So well, should we open these out here on the podcast? Sure, let's get into this.
Here.
It's got a zipper top.
I love a zippered bay a gift. Let's see here. Okay, we're opening up. Let's there are listeners at home. Oh, this is.
A very it's it's it's a little heavy, it's it's it's it's seven pounds, seven pounds of bird for songbirds, for your thrushes and your warblers and your cardinals.
Bowen, I'm so I thought that you were giving him bird seats because you think he's a bird.
Yeah, what right? Like like you literally thought I was over shady. No, you eat like a bird.
You fucking bird.
Just a comment on my eating style, Yeah, you pecker, you burry eating bitch.
No, it's who's hot?
I like that?
Yeah? Why did you bring the bird seeds?
Well, look, I that's been in my closet. I bought a bird house, and I think that's this is a room full of New Yorkers. I don't think New York is a bird. Does anyone have a bird feeder in their in their apartment?
No?
Right? Any someone over here?
Yeah, rat there, we go.
There, and then and then someone else.
Wait, so you're saying that the pigeons don't deserve.
I just saw. I just saw someone's real face, and the humanity on the face said to me, it's gonna attract rat.
She's strong with the rat.
A rat crawling out of a bird house. Kill me, absolutely, just kill me.
I think this is much more. This is much more laue.
But you know a big part of the podcast we're doing in the backyard now is birds constantly squawking.
It's beautiful.
Even more birds squawking. It's gonna become unlistenable even more.
So maybe you can put that on another side of.
The House's great, very good thinking. So how long is this spending your.
I would say, look this, this is full disclosure. I was playing a birder and a movie and I was like, let me go to Prospect Park and I'm gonna go to the Veil of Kashmir, which is a famous cruising spot. But it's apparently it's a wonderful birding area in Brooklyn, and so I for one week.
I got up in the.
Morning, went over to the park, took my binoculars there, loved it. It was just me and every seventy year old woman in Brooklyn and there, and it was so it was it's really lovely and and it's it's just a bunch of women in Brooklyn being like, there's this scarlet tanager in your body.
And I'm like, yeah, yeah, cool.
And so I got I got really enamored with it, and I went too far. I bought a birdhouse with a camera, and then I bought this, and then I realized, oh, I think I think I think this is not the right thing.
I think it's a rat.
Ma right, so anything birds like that, Rats don't anything, birds like the rats don't raw fish, raw fish.
Rats like everything. Yeah, you think a rat's gonna turn down raw fish. I've lived here too long. I've seen it all.
Like this podcast has become so rat centric in the last few weeks. It's strictly rats. That's the name of the show. What about an empty birdhouse, I's got a disappointment to birds.
Yeah, empty bird house to me, that's oh God two empty bird house feels very like for sale. Baby shoes never worn? I mean it like tells a full story. It's a sad story.
Yeah, well, I've got to put this in my carry on?
Can you fit that in the carry on? Why are they're groans of sadness?
People are growing about the birds baby shoes never wand it's a drag. But there are other reasons baby don't. Babies don't wear shoes.
The baby probably what if the baby, what if what if.
It's born without feet, what if it's a sandal wearer. There are a lot of.
Yeah, I absolutely needed that.
There are reasons a baby doesn't wear shoes. Yeah, maybe it's not the baby's taste. I mean like, yeah, maybe the babies don't hold up, does not hold up huge plot holes. I don't know how that became a classic. But it's a shame.
It's a shame.
But now you all feel good about the story. I assume we're on the story side, right as in, we love the story, we love the story. Now we love this baby who refuses to wear shoes.
Oh, I love that story. That's great.
That's all we have to just get on the page of this snob baby, that's all. Optionate you guys all this is pretty ivy. Yes, okay, well we have this bird seeds. Should we keep talking about bird seas or anything left to say about birds?
I'm good? What is there to say about?
Well?
I was like, what is this movie that you're gonna be?
Uh?
You know, you can't say.
No, I can. I can say. I just don't think. I don't think the birding is going to figure into it.
Did you bring as your own personal touch?
No, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was in it, but it was God like I there, No, it's it's it's so not worth talking about.
I promise anyway, I thank you. I I am, I am, I was.
I was just a burder from for I don't know for the for the story literally, but what's what's it's?
I can throw that in the streets, you can. Yeah, there are so many birds here and rats and rats. Okay, here, he would go, black oil, sunflower seeds, cracked corn, millet, peanuts, striped flower seeds, artificial cherry flavor.
Oh, birds is good.
I like that we could all kind of we can.
We have to make these seeds palatable to birds.
I know cherry I imagine if you boiled this, you could eat it, put it in my instapot. You never know. Okay, well, let's get to the next thing. Sidney, what have you got?
I know you would never ask.
Yes, thank you.
Okay I did that myself.
Thank you. Oh it's the tissue and hairy. Okay, we're getting out. Should I take these out in any order?
No?
There are two objects here. Okay, let's see what this first one eat Lorna Dunes.
Yes, cookies, those are great cookies.
Oh, I love a shortbread cookie.
You kidding, but you know what I was.
I'm being very specific about this cookie because it's like when you get a certain age, you just want a plane cookie.
You don't need that, you don't need to swirl the chocolate chips or anything like that.
Like short bread. It's it gives the mature and I like that. I'm a short bread girl, Like I don't need to dip it anything. I like a dry ass cookie, like I love that bisc off Like that really gets me damp when I get when I almost choke on a cookie that's hot, that's sexy.
Just was like a glass with not even a glass of water.
No, this is hor what.
Do you need water for?
How much.
You know?
Is it just me?
How long have you been in the Laura Dune family.
I would say for a good good two years now, two years. Yeah, before I would like want a Nutter butter, you know, something with like chocolate mint, like I used to like Girl Scott cookies. But I think it's a scam. So I I'm done with it.
I'm done.
Yeah, I said it, damn scam. They haven't changed the uniforms yet. I need a new bas bitch.
No, I'm getting. They don't get im comedy. Okay, yeah, so.
Were you just on the cookie Island? You said there's a boring cookie? Yeah.
I think they're doing too much.
I think like the Oreos, the double stuff, like stop, come on, it's too much.
The Oreos have gotten fully out of control. Yeah, they're disaster.
They're doing too much playing cookie. I'm good.
I love I love Nutter butters. I was eating nine of them at night for several years. It was nine, yes, but they come in pairs. I'm just getting the full big thing. It wasn't just Nutter butters. This was like, you know, I would get a bag of Nutter butters and I would go through those and I'd find a different cookie.
It was.
It was before I was out. Let's just be there's a lot of just eating cookie non stocky, but somehow nine of them.
But all those nutter butters.
No, I I love nutter butters. And there was also something called a peanut butter gout show. Is no one is familiar with the peanut butter gout show. They absolutely killed the brand, and I wrote them a letter of complaints, and then it became a pet cemetery situation. They brought them back to the market as something else, and then again I was the only person buying them back out of business. They were like a more rodeo style nutter butter rodeo. There's like a cowboy would have eaten these. They were a little heartier, they were Has anyone ever is that if there's one person in the audience, the Mother's brand failed you? Oh, they absolutely failed you. They were too focused on this horrible uh frosted animal cookies.
Those are great.
With the dogs.
Those are awful.
I don't don't. They're not.
Dry cookie. That's where I'm at.
Great gift.
Is there any other cookie in your rotation?
No?
Not really.
I like this is where and bisc off, Like I literally get on the flight for the biscus.
You never buy one in store.
They try to go past me, bring bring that cart back. I want the bisc off.
Vote. And Jeff, what treats are you eating.
Today?
I had I'm gonna spiag string cheese kick, but I feel like it is not. It is maybe the most environmentally devastating.
It's so much single.
Use plastic encased in plastic, and there's and and and.
What do you do? You can't reuse it? Could I don't know for what?
And what else are you going to wrap those in? You don't want to like paper wrapped string cheese?
It feels it feels yeah, what are we gonna do that?
When you go to like a fancy cheese shop to get a cheese plate, they just wrap it in paper.
A string cheese.
No, no, no, okay, I'm I'm gonna pitch something like like when they put mozzarella in water, Like, should we just put like string.
Cheese sticks in liquid?
Bowing you guys, it's the only way.
Imagine being a kid at school who pulls that out of their bags.
Oh yeah, that kid is getting a holes for sure.
Just wet cheese.
Wet cheese and a peanut butter gout chair.
Oh no, string cheese is a great I mean it's a complicated thing.
To eat, very very tough.
But to have those the fridge, it's such a safe thing to have.
Oh yeah, you know what's better than a string cheese?
Though?
Those Baby Bell the one.
That's red jacket on top of it.
I love those.
And that's just wax.
You can burn that, Yeah, turn into a candle. Yeah, that's very true. There's the answer. Somebody's beating you to it. They are a little more flavorful, I would say, than a string cheese. The string cheese it's a very bland you're looking for, kind of a very mild cheese.
Where the baby Bell is baby baby Bell has has depth of flavor. But there's there's there are the string cheeses that are like the double helix and tell us, yeah, people know, there's there's no we need to know.
It's the polos.
They've got the white and they've got the orange. There's different like salt content, and then they mix it up. Sometimes it's all white, sometimes it's all orange. It's real, it's you know, you know it gives like a very like sort of bespoke quality to it.
Though it stops me up. I can't really go with that brand.
Stops you up.
Oh, y'all, y'all draw the line constipation.
Oh it's not my crowd.
Are you saying that particular cheese? Yes, it is of that particular one that could be used for medical purposes that should be prescribed.
This is my fault.
You're right.
You mean, like, instead of emodium, you just eat exactly.
One of these gorgeous cheeses. I don't know. I'm an ideas versus first Well, there's another gift. Oh, that's right, But I want to hear what Jeffy's is a treat?
Oh, well, you know, I'm more of a sweet than a savory, and I like these. I go to Trader Joe's because they live right across the street from one, and they talk about single use plastic. They are very, very bad at it. They wrap cucumbers. Isn't that terrible anyway? But they do sell these these tiny little ice cream cones that are dipped in chocolate. I'd be like a giant and you get to eat the hard chocolate on the top, then you get the delicious ice cream, and then there's a little piece of chocolate at the that's my favorite. And also so few calories, only one hundred and seventy, but who's mediculously counting?
Okay, should I get back into the bag here? Yes, okay, let's see here. Oh oh, I'm thrilled about this. It's a portable full body massage.
We need that, we need that, we need to work work it out.
Yes, what is the name of that gadget store that closed down in the mall Sharper Image. You have given me two items that easily could be bought at the Sharper Image that light. I'm not just keep having.
You all I was.
I was, I was at CVS, and I said I was just gonna get you cookies, and then that was near the cookies, so.
I had to give you a dozen purchase and I got two dollars off right. Yeah.
Oh, I love to hear that. I love to hear that. So why did you bring this?
Well, it's me projecting.
It's like, I don't know, I've gotten older and like I need to like massage my joints, I need my knees, my legs.
I'm like they're always hurting.
I'm not saying that's you, but it's just it is okay, so good.
I'm not by myself all the time.
Yeah, and it's mainly because I'm flying a lot and I'm not I'm not in first class, which is it's a crime. Like I don't know why I'm not there, Like why I should be one through five? Like I don't know why. I don't know why I'm thirty two. F Like it's it's insane. My society is not doing me right. That's how I feel. But yeah, but after you know, you like have an eight hour flighter.
Never you just rub it. You use that and it helps for sure.
Oh, I love this. Are you do any of you fear blood clots on the plane? I have a new fear that is just constantly on my mind.
No, never never thought about the blood clots.
Oh, start thinking, it's never too late.
I think about the crying babies. That's what I think about it. I think about the babies crying.
Well, get up and look at them, and that'll allow your legs to get the blood circulation going.
Do you wear those compression Oh?
Is that bad for this situation?
It's good?
That feels wrong. Oh, well, but I guess that makes sense.
Sorry, I didn't know you didn't believe in science.
Vaccines. No, you have to get up and walk around the plane. You've got to drink plenty of fluids.
We were talking about this backstage seapat machines. I heard this rumor that in Provincetown the electrical grid kind of went out during Bear Week because.
All of the.
What and in palm spring. Now, that's wonderful. No, that's what.
No, that's amazing that.
That's actually that means that things are working the way they show.
Yes, absolutely, we're all medicallliterate, but cities need to be more aware of Bear Week.
Cities need to be more aware of bear When is Bear Week? What's the dates?
I know?
Is it? It's June mid June week after fourth of July?
Got it?
So what.
Y'all being in the front is hilarious. I love it.
Also, your your ability to catch those dates immediately is oh you book in advance. That's true?
Okay, wow, what a So that's a real thing that happened.
That that was the rumor that the electrical that that that the grid was a little unstable, right.
If it feels true, it's true.
Yeah, I think it's I think it's hilarious.
Wow.
That's why I wonder if this works. I'm gonna try to open this really quickly. I would like us all to try it.
Try it.
I didn't charge it up. I don't you know, I don't know, but hopefully it works. I will take it back. I have a receipt, so.
I'll have to put the batterings batteries, and we're not watching that on.
The podcast, So you know what I thought it was like, you could like a charge like charge.
A rechargeable one is nice too. Yeah, I prefer a battery I can throw into a landfill. No, I'm actually I'm genuinely thrilled about this because I refuse to take care of myself, and so I depend on the podcast. About once a year I get an item that takes care of me. By the time I'm like eighty, I'll be living a normal life. So this is a step towards that. Thank you, Jeff. Should we get into your enormous Okay, I hope you're going.
To hope you don't have one of these.
Jeff had to get up so they could see you.
Yeah, for the bears, what is this?
Oh?
My god, I wonder what this could mean.
It's a fragile object.
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie to you. You know, you might need to buy a seat for that on the plane.
This is hilarious.
It is beautiful already for me.
Okay that direct deposit hit? Huh wow? You really ever really went all out? That's so cool?
Is it? Ceramic?
Ceramic?
Ceramic bold dog? Oh my god.
This is unbelievable.
It's beautiful.
This couldnt be transported, cannot be transported?
Well, tell him it's a service animal?
What a little vest on?
Yeah.
I do feel like if I went to the airport and told you say, this is my service animal, animal to be like, let us go. Where did this come from? Why is this here?
Well, and you'll never believe this, but one of my neighbors left that in the back hallway of my building. What they left that ana docent?
Oh?
A real one?
Yeah, but it had passed No, yes, no, it was another ceramic one and I was going to take that, but this lady said, oh, I have a docs and can I have that one? And I was like sure, And it's been living in my apartment firm I think maybe since before the pandemic and oh my god, I never had a place for it. I've never found a place for it. And I thought, I want to give it to someone who will really appreciate it. And when I looked at I thought, Richard.
Very upset here, I am going out buying some y'all like what's in the closet?
I see what I could get rid of. Damn, y'all are too smart.
But I did pay to have that professionally wrapped.
Of course, you don't have to tell us that where was this in your apartment? Was it a decoration or was it like in a closet.
It was out decorating, but it was kind of in this It was right by this ottoman, so like you couldn't really use the ottoman anymore. And it was also right in front of this plant. And my cat didn't really like it. My dog couldn't care less about it, never noticed. Wow, I have another dog, also seramic.
What is that one?
And it broke? I think the dogs that are broken and uh, interesting behavior. So I was just like, I was like, let's get rid of all the ceramic dogs. Only only flesh ones allowed.
Wait, but the other dog, just to be clear, was that one you bought on your own.
Now, that one I found on the street in two thousand and four because I always wanted a dog, but I didn't have the lifestyle to support it, which now I do.
And it takes money to raise a dog.
It does, it does. And anyway, so now that I have that, you know, warm blooded one, I wanted to pass this son to someone.
Is he heavy?
I mean it's a fully ceramic dog.
I did, like, took it on the subway, so you that has traveled.
You would easily take it on a plane exactly. This is I guess it probably falls under the category of personal item. Yeah, just stuff it under my seat. What was the other dog you had? Oh the Uh was this one ever named?
Oh yeah, that one was named Winston, but you know you could rename it from the shelters rescue.
Uh.
What is Rufus? I guess he's sort of a hound, sort of a maybe not a Bassett hound, but his legs are too long. But he's some sort of a hound. He's very cute. One time I saw an exact replica of Rufus at the Paris flea market.
Oh, but I was like, I'm.
Not taking this thing on the plane.
Why do you name him Rufus?
Well, I always wanted a dog named Rufus.
What are your dogs? Your warm blooded dog's name?
Her name is von de Carlo.
Oh, I love that. That's gorgeous. And what is the cat's name?
Beverly?
Okay, people need to be more respectful of their pets names. I think some people get a little too silly. And if anyone here has gone too silly, you can always rename the animal. Cats really don't take on a name, so change it this week. But I think the dignity of the animal, nice, solid.
Name, dignity They lick their ass? What dignity? Oh, this is an animal crowd all right?
Never mind, No one's dignified in that relationship. Someone's expressing glands, you know what I mean? Okay, Bottom, it's like the dog. The dog is embarrassed, and then the owner is also like, I gotta milk this.
It's humiliating. And but the cat didn't like this animal? Did it freak out?
It wasn't about the fact that it looked like an animal was just in her way. I kind of used it to block her from getting into the plant.
Yeah, was the plant poisonous to the cat.
No, I just didn't want her to piss in the plant.
Oh yeah, how how much do you think this costs?
I think there might be a sticker on the bottom.
Stop it.
Let's let's look. This is not an easy was it.
Now that was the tape I used.
To Well, what do we think this feels expensive?
To me?
Yeah?
It does, really, I.
Mean it's I mean it was free ninety nine.
I thought this is probably like a seventy five dollars item. Seventy five.
Oh my god, I want to take it back and sell it.
There's craftsmanship involved. Yeah, no, I would, I would.
I would put it at like forty five. Forty five. Okay, you hate it? No, So what do you think this costs?
I mean, yeah, seventy five feels right.
Okay, I've got some support. And Jeff, you just think it's garbage.
No, I don't think it's garbage. I think my apartment is not built for it. I think it's a Los Angeles dog.
Absolutely, I think so too. Yeah, well, I can't wait to find out how I get this across the country.
Well, now it is hollow under it's but it's.
Kind of a pinata almost. Oh, use, this is buried.
So you could also hide things you want to hide in there. Oh right, there's no drugs.
The birth scene in there.
You can put the birth in there. That's so true.
It's very smart.
That was good. Birds rats just eating out of this. That feels bad. That feels very bad. We're gonna put this right.
Is there lit at the bottom of it?
Lit?
I guess it's like little things that you put.
So it doesn't scratch the floor.
Yeah, I thought you were bringing lit from your home.
Again.
Well, I'm not gonna lie to you. There might be some cat there on there.
Well, it's incredible. These gifts are unmovable. But I'll find a use for them. We'll see what happens. We'll see ultimately what happens if I fed the birds of New York the seed. There's a chance the seed gets to la. Just to think of how birds work and then this we'll just we'll figure it out.
And you're gonna eat those cookies right now.
Of course we should eat eat.
That cookie right now, right now. Actually, yeah, I want to cook you. Thank you, thank you.
Okay, how many are in a pack? Open those?
Okay, thank you? Nine nine of them?
No, I have.
There you go, let's have one.
Great? Is this compelling? Are we? O? M?
My mouth is so dry and sids a web?
And you're you said a good damp for this?
Yeah? Don't good?
Oh good?
Why don't you three have drinks? This is a failure, not on my part, but.
I know you have a drink yang up here? Dry? That's crazy.
Yeah, some hosts, we all bring gifts. You don't even have beverage, not even a cheese. Play at least some wet string cheese.
Wow, these really are Yeah, let's pass these out.
I've got four here, Thank you, thank you.
I feel like I'm missing out on a whole section of audience. Oh my god, they're so serious. Jeez.
Okay, it's time to play a game. We're going to play Gift to a curse. Okay, this is how we play this game. I'm gonna name three things.
Are we looking back here?
You don't have to. There will be a visual if you want to peak, If you want to peak, take a peek. I mean, name three things. Are gonna tell me if they're a gift or a curse and why? And so I'll name one thing and you're all gonna tell me that. I'll so points will be kept. And of course this is an extremely important game, so you don't want to lose, and there are right answers, there are correct answers. You can fail. So number one this is from a listener named Lydia. Gift or a curse music on overhead speakers during airplane boarding.
Oh my gosh, I'm gonna say a gift because it just adds a little background noise and maybe it calms all of the you know, there's a lot of a lot of people having meltdowns. There's a lot of people who are not good at the flying these days, so maybe it calms them, right because it's kind of like ethereal sort of massage music, right.
Hopefully, Okay, I guess it depends on what is being played. But if it is like massage, like if it is like spa or like drum solo.
Right, it's never good. The music is never good. I always want the ox coord I'm like, let me let me give you all some. It's never Beyonce or anything like that. No ed sharing, It's just you should be airplaying music.
I would mind, I wouldn't mind.
I support you. Okay, Well, what do you two think if your curse.
I I would want the music to be like.
What they would play out of borders, or I think I would want to be like a pure mood CD, so like NYA like that's oh, I like that.
Yeah, there's there's there should be there should be an Alinda just selling just.
An I guess it would be you know, Irish whatever? What what's that Irish one called lingo.
Your funny?
That's because most of the time we hang out, you were you were freaking, you had your phone had broken, so you were having you I'm glad to prove myself for good.
I need answer from you too. Gift gift, gift, Sydney, curse.
I want to hear it.
You don't want to hear I want.
I want to hear the couple has two rows out breaking up.
That's what I want to hear before we even go out. And that's why I'm sleeping with your brother.
That's what I want to.
Blue.
All right, Sydney, you get the point. It's a curse, absolutely a curse. You're not telling me how to enjoy this flight. No, thank you. It's my experience. Let that be my own thing. Don't distract me. I'm stressed out. I don't need delta choosing what I'm listening to. And I mean this new bonus of hearing somebody break up? What a treat that's always gonna happen. Okay, So Sydney leads with one, the other two are losing big. This is from a listener named emilyfter a curse. When you make plans with the couple, then one of them can no longer make it, but the other person still keeps the plans and comes by themselves.
Gift.
Why if it's the person we didn't want anyway, we're like, yes, we did not need your man here anyway.
Thank you.
No, y'all really like both of the couple, like both people, and that's never the case. It's always one person keeping them getting the end by anyway.
Right, it's so rare that you like both of all them, Yeah, that you're interested in.
What if it's the one you don't like and then you have to have that, then that's a curse. Right.
The person who's not that like, they know they're not showing up.
That's weird, that's weird. If the vibes are off and you lie, I know they don't like it. I'm coming like, no, way, no way.
I don't know. Not knowing people don't like you is kind of the characteristic of somebody nobody likes. Ah god, yeah, so it is dangerous.
I'm gonna say curse because if one person, if one domino falls, then you're like you you kind of want for the whole thing to to derive.
Okay.
Oh so if one person cancels, you're like, oh, we all don't have to go to dinner.
Okay, coo, yeah, I agree, I'm a I'm a real Oh you're cancing. Oh no, I'm bombed. Yeah, I'm saying the full gift. Oh wait, curse if they come, course, if they come.
Yeah, the thing is that they actually do demand that let's keep the plans. I want to see you. Yeah, yeah, curse. It's a gift. It's a gift.
Why we get.
To know somebody, We get to give them one more chair, We've got to give them one personal dinner, and maybe they turn it around, maybe we find out right. Redemption a redemption, it's a redemption tour, one final chance, and then after if it doesn't work, you never invite the couple again. Sure, it's just the one person. You wait for the other person to be out of town.
It's a gift, so I say, a gift, so I get the point, right, you got a point?
Okay, all I care about this core baby.
All right, this final one, well, there's no way I can win.
Yeah, so I'm just leaving.
But you can feel kind of okay about yourself. Yeah, no, no, okay. This is from a listener named Christian Gift or a curse saying let's go on a cooking competition or any time.
I'm torn because my nephew says it. Yeah, but also he's twenty two.
Just this journey it makes me.
I feel very good that you think I'm funny. Uh, curse, curse. Okay, I don't even care. I know I'm wrong. On the podcast who every time I answered you, I just saw a look in your eyes of like, no.
No one can read me. Don't act like you can read me.
No I can read you. Once I gave the.
Answer, Oh no, not even then, Sydney, what do you think?
Can you ask the question?
I blacked out as well?
What's going on?
Where am I? Uh saying let's go on a cooking competition or any time?
Curse? No, you don't want to do that okay.
It's a nice clean answer.
Yeah, I'm thinking, like, what are the alternatives? Let's go is pretty like innocuous, Like it's not like it's a perfectly okay.
Thing to say if you're excited or if you want to like you know.
But the volume.
Volume is gonna be like, that's gonna be constant.
If you're excited, you're you're gonna you're gonna phoney, you're gonna you're gonna produce loud sound, you know what I mean. And I would rather you distill it to two words, yeah, or you know, let's your contraction whatever, and let us go.
Let us go.
Oh that's way better, that's beautiful.
Yeah, that's good.
Let's just want to be you're escaping.
Yeah, yeah, let go.
And if you're on a cooking competition, that's all you want to do.
I don't know.
I feel like it's not a terrible.
Thing to scream. There are there are more toxic things to scream, and.
So well, the person who's like let's go usually is annoying, like they're gonna make it bad. It's never the cool person like let's go, and someondy's like, oh my god, so let's go.
I'm gonna plan everything.
We're gonna have an itinerary, and we gotta wear different shirts like no, I don't.
And there's always been like hand motions.
Oh yeah, there's always too much.
Move your nephew, do that is your nephew?
No comment because we're in public.
But it's a curse. Bowen, I'm so sorry.
Wow, I'm flawless.
Yo.
That's very goot.
Jeff, you've got one point, thank god. And Bowen, you're in a very elite group of losers. Yes, Carl Tart was a big loser and he turned it around.
But Carl, I trust Car and I are like on the same way like we are.
Yeah, we worked last night.
We're tired, any excuses. I slept less than usual last night, so that like a legit marketphone.
You're so quiet.
I didn't want to interrupt. This is not my show.
I'm not Carl brought that from home, all.
The way from l A. Yeah, La is really dead.
Get up there, no, Ridger said, nor all.
Right, okay, uh this is the final segment of the podcast, and we've got it to a quick We've got to answer a listener question. People right into I said, no gifts at gmail dot com. You're such desperate people. You all have so many problems, and so you're begging me and my guests said to answer these pall oh oh, oh, oh my god, where did that come from? Who has the beach ball?
I see it?
Where over here?
Wow?
Who's got the beach ball? I'm coming for you. I'm coming for you. Oh my god, come up here look at this. We'll look at this winner. Wow, what's your name? A Melia has won? Not only a beach ball? This is Amelia, everybody. I have to bend over this way. Ah, and now you can open up this and see what you got. This is a very valuable item. Oh now you're seeing it already. Don't say, oh my god to this beautiful gift is an eggies. This is an item that David Desmulchen gave me. Truly an amount of items that is ruining my life. And so every one of these I have to give away. This is okay. So this is something that you'll we all have. You know, there's no other way to cook an egg, So why not put egg yolks into a microwave and then do make the deviled eggs for yourself. You must be so proud.
I want six sevealed eggs at a time, of.
Course, other than nine Lorna Dunes. It's the perfect meal, a square meal. Well, congratulations, that's so exciting bread.
It's a really good guys.
We're not answering it. That counts as a listener question. Yeah, I'm not getting into an email at this point. What are we talking about?
But Amelia, don't forget your ball.
Oh oh god, you're almost lost it. But I'm giving you this. I'm gonna kick this down here. Gorgeous everybody, look at these four gorgeous people and look at these gifts. I mean, what a night. And fend Lily wherever she is. I feel like this is the end of the show, and I feel like you've all felt it coming. I think it's pretty clear that the podcast is wrapping up. The listener knows. The listener is panicking about the rest of their day. It's nighttime here, so you, like you basically get to go to sleep without the panic listener. The podcast is over now. I'm just going to talk to the audience turn off. If they allow the rest of this audio onto the podcast, I'm going to fire on Alise, Oh my god, on Alise, I know you're there. What was that?
Did just hear something that was on Aalise? Oh she's talking to us.
That was.
From Los Angeles.
Oh my god, that was such a scary little voice.
Yeah, it's giving Heart Island.
Oh, the Heart Island's coming to make giving you go. I love all of you, Thank you so much for being.
Here, Move on with your nights.
I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is on A Lisa Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday. The theme song is by miracle Worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram. At I said no Gifts, that's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts?
Lie? Why did you hear? Fun?
A man myself perfectly clear?
When you're a guest to me, you gotta come to me empty.
And I said, no, guests, you're our presences, presents, and I'm already too much stuff.
So how do you dad to surbey me
