Popping The Question with Men of Bachelor Nation

Published Nov 2, 2024, 4:00 AM

Former Bachelor's Bob Guiney and Jason Mesnick are guiding you to finding love…again.

From what you need to know about dating a divorced man to the biggest red flag they see women ignore when dating.

Ready to find love again? Want dating advice?
Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)

Hey, it's Bob getting here for the Bachelor and of course a co host of almost famous to OG's. And I'm Jason Meslik.

I was a batchler a long, long time ago, and I'm your real estate agent here in Seattle.

That's right, And this is I do Part two, a podcast all about finding left the second time around. Now we are going to pop some questions. All right, are you ready? Let's go? All right, Jason, here we go. First question, if you sleep with a woman on the first date, are you thinking about her now for a long term relationship? You know, I would.

I think the world's so different now. I think if I didn't, it'd be a super double standard.

Oh, agreed, I totally agree with that. And sometimes love at first sight actually exists, right, all right, here we go. Do men get turned off if a woman double text, you know, like sends another message before you even had a chance to answer the first one.

It depends on how long of a break is. Like if she text like, you know, and the next text is an hour later, probably not. But if it's like every two or three minutes, might get a little creepy.

Yeah, a little much, right, a little much? Just let me answer it. Let me get it done here on a date. Should a woman offer to pay? Sure? Why not?

I mean, like I think the world's different. Now, I'm not saying that you'd let her pay, but like, if she wants to offer, that's a nice thing, nice gesture.

Yeah, I actually agree. My my wife would always be like, you know, reaching for her wallet. I'm like, oh, come on, you're not gonna pay, and she's like no, but I at least want you to think I'm trying. And I'm like okay, And I loved that, Like I thought it was really really small when you.

Listen to the Bob here, like sometimes.

Oh, here's a good question, and this is good. This could be another double standard kind of question. Do guys care about a woman's body count? Do you know what that means? Like a woman's number, magic number? Do guys care about that?

I don't think, Like, I mean, unless you're Wilt Chamberlain, and like it's like ten thousand or something like that. You know, I who knows who Wilt Chamberlain is. But like otherwise, if it's a reasonable, reasonable number, I don't think, right, Well, I.

Think too that could be an age appropriate thing too, right, Like if someone's twenty two and they've got, you know, a considerable amount racked up there. And then someone who's you know, forty or fifty or whatever you know, and maybe I don't know, maybe it doesn't matter who knows. Just not ten thousand. I'm just gonna say ten thousand. Keep it below ten thousand, and there shouldn't be any conversation about it, right. Is ghosting ever acceptable? And have you ever ghosted?

I don't think it's acceptable. I mean I may have done it, but like, here's what's happening now. So my son's at the dating age, he's in college, and a girl he was dating last year started ghosting him a little bit and seeing how he reacted to it, it pissed me off, right, meaning like, just don't you can just say, hey, things aren't going well, I'm moving on, whatever it might be. I don't think, like, come on, you don't need a ghost anybody that's not cool.

Just be a gentleman, right, I mean, from the standpoint of a guy, I don't know what you'd say to a to a woman a one, but I agree to a lady, yeah, I would. I would literally say if it was my son to Granny's only so he's not he's not ghosting yet, thank god, but yeah, when he gets older, I think I would say, like, come on, dude, just be a gentleman, you know whatever. She might not be that into you. You never know. Oh have I ever ghosted?

Ah?

I have not. This is not my style. I would never ghost. I think what I would do is I would do what Jason. I would do what you're saying, Jason. I would be like, hey, this just isn't working out, you know. But I will say back in the day when I when I dated a lot, I would often make it so that they wanted to break up with me. I don't know. I would just be like, you're like, yeah, what's wrong with this guy? No, but it's true. Like I would always try to like not be as like if I were if I was just kind of over a relationship, I wouldn't be as responsive, but I would still be responsive. But I wouldn't be like, Hey, what's going on. I'd love to see you today. I'd be more like, you know, oh, hey Debbie, Yeah, what's up. How you been you know, sorry, can't get together today or whatever? You know. I wouldn't be as uh as as I guess available is the best way to put it. Two questions specifically, Jason, I know you went through this one, so this is a good one. How soon would you introduce a woman that you're dating to your kids, right, so we could go to your past life, right to your first stage of your life.

Well, I mean I would actually say in the first stage, I had done it too soon.

Right.

There are times where, like I thought mentally I was ready, right even though I was not ready. So again, like I think it's some of that comes with maturity when back then, you know, in my early this is my late twenties, I thought I was mature, and there were times where I did introduce somebody to my son way too soon, right.

Yeah.

But if again, if you're on a TV show, like you're gonna do it right away because that's interest.

Yeah, they're rolling that out hot. Now, what if your kids don't like a woman that you're dating, are you basically like, Okay, we're not doing this, this is over. I don't. That's a really tough one.

And I've talked to like friends, family members about this. I know that, Like even me, my mom brought in my stepdad when we were teenagers, who moved in really really quick.

It wasn't like we didn't like him.

We didn't even know it, right, right, But I think it's just being caught like and I'm not saying yes or no, right, but like if somebody is abusive, that's one thing, even if verbally abusive, right, I'm physically abusive, but knowing that, like, give it.

A shot before you jump in deep, that's all I'd say.

Yeah, because I have jumped in really quick.

Yeah, it never works out right, backfires on you. I mean, you know that's kind of to that end. I mean, you know, that's like what you and Molly did. I think that's so great you stayed in your life. I mean I got the same Chris Harrison advice. And I love telling people to this day. You know, I'll be hosting something now and they'll go, you know, so is this all you do? I'm like, no, I never quit my day job. Man. I still do the same thing I've always done. It's just this is kind of the fun side thing I get to do, you know, on the weekends or whatever. But yeah, you know, and that was great Harrison advice. I think your advice might kind of be right there with it. And they should listen to what you're talking about, because I think that's huge. What's one thing that all women need know if they want to have a success dating a divorce man?

Uh?

Be patient?

I think, well, be patient and then ask yourself if this is really what you want because it could be a challenged right. I look about what my stepdad went through with us, and I look what Molly went through. MOLLI was like, oh, it's ezy. Like I looked at Jason's awesome and tie super cute. But I think the real part of this of like how is he gonna look at me? What's the relationship going to be?

Like?

I think you really this is and only you know that, Like if you don't love, if you never wanted to have kids and you know that, what's it like, what is it going to be like if you're dating somebody with a little kid or I can't.

Just ask because all of a sudden it's it's turnkey family, right. You gotta be on you and you got and you got.

To also like be attentive to it, like you've got to really care about them. Like I know Ty has got a stepdad for my ex wife, and he is a great stepdad, like we get along awesome and making sure that's something you really want, but only you truly truly know that.

Right, Yeah, I agree, I agree with that. I think one of the pieces of advice I would give when dating a divorce guy, because I was a divorce guy without kids from my previous relationship, was and this is a terrible thing to say, because I do think it's a little double standardish, but getting too comfortable too fast? Yeah, right, So, like, you know, it's almost got to be an accident that you'll leave something over at the house the first time, Right, it can't be that you put your stuff in a drawer and be like, you know, it's almost gotta be like whoa I mean, because everything to a divorced guy, whether they wanted to be the divorce person or not, you know, whether they wanted to not stand that previous relationship or not, is they don't want to make the same mistakes over again. So it's going to be cautious optimism at best.

Well I would even say, like, be conscious and I did this, how much does it affect the kids? Right? And like there was a girl I remember brought around. She was awesome and even though it didn't work out. After it ended, he started asking like where did she go?

Oh? Yeah, and he was.

So little, Ty was so little that he didn't have any idea like who she was, why she was around. But just be conscious that, like your decisions really impact everybody around you.

God so true. All right, Now we're going to get into a little bit more of you know, some a little more CD stuff. So what is the biggest red flag that you think women ignore when they're dating? What's the biggest red flag? Yeah, like, what's something that they see from a guy? And like if you're on the app? Because I actually know what I'm gonna say to this one, Okay, and I've seen it and I and I know it. So let me go first. I'll go first and let you think of this, okay. All right, So when a dude just is radio silent for long periods of time and then it's very shady about where they've been, right, Like to me, I was always pretty much an open book, like you know, like it's always still canyon. I would say, you know, I don't ever want anything I'm doing or saying when you're not around to you know, like make you look like you're the joke or you're the butt of the joke. You know. So here's here's what I do, Here's where i'm at, Here's what I'm at. Even if it was something that I knew she might not like, but it's just like, I'm doing this with boys to night whatever. It was like this, this brutal honesty to a certain degree that I felt like, man, when we were still together, you know, three years later, I was like, geez, she really actually loves me, you know, because I wasn't exactly I was like, I'm going with my guys to do this, and it was brazen at times, you know, but at least she knew where I was. And I feel like sometimes people make excuses for people there dating who all of a sudden will be like, you know, oh yeah, I went out my buddies last night. Oh is that why I never heard from me from seven o'clock until today two in the afternoon, rise day. You know what I mean. It's like, come on, man, if you got a certain rapport going with someone, then you know, anything out of that has to be a little bit of a red.

Flag, right again, like if they want you around, Like I think the biggest red flag I guess to me would be like if they're only calling you late at night, right, So like again, like if they really care and they want you around, they want you around other times than those those moments exactly.

Yeah, yeah, they want you around those times too, but they actually want to do like other stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I actually think one of the coolest things and I and I definitely saw this with with my wife was when I would do stuff with the guys and I would actually like want her to be there. It wasn't I didn't feel that need to have this like guy time. You know. It was more like, why don't you join us, We're going to watch the game, you know whatever. And you know, did she have the choice whether she wanted to come or not, you know, but it was like I always wanted her to feel that inclusiveness. And you know, she's often told me that that was one of the things that she loved about our early relationship. Oh this is a good one. Why do guys send unsolicited dick pics? And why so quickly? I think that's a new thing because I can tell you honestly, I have never sent a tick pick.

I have never either, like I don't like and again like this might be a maybe it's because we still have phones that don't drow pictures. Got a really good point. You can't take a picture of the landline. I've tried, I don't know like it. And again like maybe this is like, you know, I'm married to somebody from the Midwest. None of that stuff would ever fly.

Right right same, I just and I just wouldn't do it, Like part of me was always like you know, And I guess maybe it's because I you know, I mean, gosh, I was thirty two when I went on The Bachelor, and even then I remember I was I mean that was two thousand and five or four, late two thousand and three. Oh my god, when I was the Bachelor, and uh so, I mean, cell phones weren't that good. Defines weren't there yet. Huh. We didn't have a lot of funds yet. And I mean I may have even had a flip phone during my Bachelor run. I'm not I can't remember exactly, but I do remember thinking to myself when people were I was already you know, I got married after the Bachelor, then divorced, then three years later met Canyon, and by that point I was kind of you know, well known, and so I wasn't sending Dick pics at that point, that's for sure. So I kind of missed the window of opportunity had I had that been something I wanted to do.

You know, it blows my mind because I, like I personally, I've never even asked my friends about this, but you see it in the media right where like a technical figure has done something like that.

I'm like, what the heck is going on in their brain to do that? Right? Honestly, Like, don't you know that they can send that picture to like forty other people go hey, this is bills, you know whatever. It's like, That's how I think of it. Yeah, all right, and I got one more. This is gonna be the last question that we have during our speed round, which probably hasn't been as speedy as the producers would have liked because we're talking so much. But this is what happens when you get two guys who actually like each other on a call together who haven't seen each other a while, and you're gonna have to go back in the annals for this one, back in the dating annuals. Got it? I'm back, all right? Is sexting ever a good idea and when and when not would you do it sexting? That's good, that's a good question.

Again, Like I'm going back to, like I'm married to somebody from the Midwest, and this stuff doesn't that's not something, right, Yeah, But like if you are in a trusting, committed relationship, right, right, somebody that you trust, like you trust, right, it's beyond having kids, right, It's like there may be a place for something that is.

Unique.

But I will say, in my personal opinion, like things on your cell phone are always findable, right, right. I remember that, and I can't remember it was it Jennifer Anderson or somebody, some celebrity, like all these pictures came out and she thought.

They were private. Just remember that.

I think about what I'm telling my son right now, about what you should post or not post on Instagram or whatnote the internet, your phone.

It freaking lives forever, absolutely, dude. I think about it all the time. I tell my nephew that he's twenty five now, and I was like, dude, just you know, watch what you write out there, because you know I get it. In the heat of the moment, you feel this way. But six months from now, it's probably not that big of a deal now that's going to follow you around, so just you know, wow, I think about it at the time, man, I really do so. I kind of keep my stuff to a very lighthearted, you know, level set medium at all times.

There's cute winky face emojis for a reason.

That is so true. Well, dude, I love it, man, I love catching up with you. Thanks for doing the rapid fire question with maybe that I do part two. I think I'm so glad when they called me and said that they were going to have you on it with me, and I was very excited about that and great to get to meet Gary on the first the first stuff pot of the show and for us to get to catch up with all of this. I mean, anything you learned from my answers today, because I learned a lot from yours, well, I mean.

I think you know what really took me to is just like talking to people that are like, even though you're a couple of years older than me in my in our age group, but Gary, like Gary's in a different sit stage in life. He's retired, he's looking for the word. He kept on using his companionship, and I think if even the younger people that are listening or watching right now about that word, like, what does that mean? He didn't say anything about attraction or we'll jumping on it, jumping jumping somebody's bones or to somebody something like that.

You talk about it. I think he's looking for a partner. Yeah, no, And I think that's interesting because I think we all are. It's just that, you know, when we're in our younger years, we we don't really realize that that's going to be the thing that makes us so happy in the end, is that person that you know, hopefully we grow old with and we you know, we have these experiences with to share and we look back and it's you know, it's all puppy dogs and rainbows, right, but we all know that's not always all puppy dogs and rainbows. But yeah, when you have a five year old, there's no right now, there's no puppy dog in there. It doesn't seem to ever be a light at the end of the tunnel or a potogold at the end of the rainbow. But I know it's coming. I know it's coming. I swear well, thanks again, buddy, And hey, guys, if you're listening and you're ready to get back out there. But you want some dating advice or you're ready to find love. We want to hear from you, so call us. We have a voicemail with your questions. Our number is one eight four four four I Do Pod. That's eight four four four four three six seven sixty three. Of course, email us at I dopod at iHeartRadio dot com, or follow us on the Gram at I Do Part two pod. I Do Part two is an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.

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