Hi, guys, welcome back to I Do Part two, the podcast for people that maybe got love wrong the first time, or the second time, or the third or fourth time, and now find themselves back out there looking for love. My name is Jennifer Fessler, and you may or may not know me from the Housewives of New Jersey. I also have a podcast that I co host with Jackie Goldschander from the Housewives of New Jersey. It's called Two Jersey Jays, and I am honored to the hosting I Do Part two today. I'm a huge fan of all of the founders of this podcast, Amy Robot, TJ. Holmes, Jenny Garth, Jenna Kramer. I know you guys know them, and I also am a big fan of the open and honest and telling your story. And I don't know, I feel privileged to have been asked to tell mine. I hope that you guys who are listening can relate to some of it. It is like every other story. It is a sad story, sometimes difficult to tell, but ultimately the good news is it has a very happy ending. You know, I spoke about my love story, my marriage. I spoke about it on Housewives a little bit in season thirteen, maybe even into season fourteen, but not really the details of it. So I'm just going to share. You know, I've been married for twenty five years, and two of those years were really really difficult, and actually my husband and I separated. But I'm getting way ahead of myself, so I will give you a little bit of information just about me. I grew up as the product of divorce, for sure. So my parents divorced when I was three years old, and so I you know, I don't remember that heart of my life, really, but I can tell you that they both got remarried, and they both got divorced again and remarried, and then my second stepfather passed away. I have a third stepfather now, and my steck at my dad got divorced again and then married again and divorced again. So I am certainly an expert when it comes to parents getting divorced. And you would think that my own experience, well, I'm sure it was affected by that, but you would think that that would have been really helpful. But when I was separated and considering divorce, but everything is God. You know, you do the best you can during difficult times. But so my childhood was not idyllic by any stretch of the imagination. My parents didn't speak to each other. There really wasn't like a co parenting situation. I lived my mom when she got remarried. We moved to Sugarland, Texas of all places, and my dad was living in New York City, and I guess you know, we went. I have sister. I have one sister through my dad and my mom. I have two brothers from my dad and a stepmother who's no longer my stepmother. And then I have a sister from my father and his third wife. That sister is actually younger than my daughter. It's a whole dysfunctional, fed up mess. But anyway, so I come from a lot of chaos, and my parents and certainly did not get along. They didn't really speak, and we were shuttled back and forth a lot of craziness. So you know, when I met my husband, I well, first of all, I was dying to have babies and get married, even after all of the chaos that you know I had been through as a kid. I really that biological clock was kicking. I met Jeff and I was the director of a dating service called It's Just Lunch and the premise behind It's Just Lunch I actually think it still exists, was that professionals are really, really busy and nobody has time for dinner, necessarily on a first date, and how about we just meet up for lunch or a drink, see if there's a spark and move on. So I was the director and which was really a crazy job, but that's for another episode. I was the director of this dating service and trying to get my numbers up and get people to join, and reached out to uh, Jeff Fessler because he had been a client before I got there and his membership had expired. So called him up one day and my name is Jen and I would love to meet you. I know you were a member and your membership has expired. And he's like, no, thank you. It wasn't great for me, I'm not interested. And being Jeff Fesslor, I was able to persuade him and you know, you haven't met me yet. I'm the new director, and I think that you know, you can have a different experience anyway, So he came in like that afternoon.

Hi, guys, welcome back to I Do Part two, the podcast for people that maybe got love wrong the first time, or the second time, or the third or fourth time, and now find themselves back out there looking for love. My name is Jennifer Fessler, and you may or may not know me from the Housewives of New Jersey. I also have a podcast that I co host with Jackie Goldschander from the Housewives of New Jersey. It's called Two Jersey Jays, and I am honored to the hosting I Do Part two today. I'm a huge fan of all of the founders of this podcast, Amy Robot, TJ. Holmes, Jenny Garth, Jenna Kramer. I know you guys know them, and I also am a big fan of the open and honest and telling your story. And I don't know, I feel privileged to have been asked to tell mine. I hope that you guys who are listening can relate to some of it. It is like every other story. It is a sad story, sometimes difficult to tell, but ultimately the good news is it has a very happy ending. You know, I spoke about my love story, my marriage. I spoke about it on Housewives a little bit in season thirteen, maybe even into season fourteen, but not really the details of it. So I'm just going to share. You know, I've been married for twenty five years, and two of those years were really really difficult, and actually my husband and I separated. But I'm getting way ahead of myself, so I will give you a little bit of information just about me. I grew up as the product of divorce, for sure. So my parents divorced when I was three years old, and so I you know, I don't remember that heart of my life, really, but I can tell you that they both got remarried, and they both got divorced again and remarried, and then my second stepfather passed away. I have a third stepfather now, and my steck at my dad got divorced again and then married again and divorced again. So I am certainly an expert when it comes to parents getting divorced. And you would think that my own experience, well, I'm sure it was affected by that, but you would think that that would have been really helpful. But when I was separated and considering divorce, but everything is God. You know, you do the best you can during difficult times. But so my childhood was not idyllic by any stretch of the imagination. My parents didn't speak to each other. There really wasn't like a co parenting situation. I lived my mom when she got remarried. We moved to Sugarland, Texas of all places, and my dad was living in New York City, and I guess you know, we went. I have sister. I have one sister through my dad and my mom. I have two brothers from my dad and a stepmother who's no longer my stepmother. And then I have a sister from my father and his third wife. That sister is actually younger than my daughter. It's a whole dysfunctional, fed up mess. But anyway, so I come from a lot of chaos, and my parents and certainly did not get along. They didn't really speak, and we were shuttled back and forth a lot of craziness. So you know, when I met my husband, I well, first of all, I was dying to have babies and get married, even after all of the chaos that you know I had been through as a kid. I really that biological clock was kicking. I met Jeff and I was the director of a dating service called It's Just Lunch and the premise behind It's Just Lunch I actually think it still exists, was that professionals are really, really busy and nobody has time for dinner, necessarily on a first date, and how about we just meet up for lunch or a drink, see if there's a spark and move on. So I was the director and which was really a crazy job, but that's for another episode. I was the director of this dating service and trying to get my numbers up and get people to join, and reached out to uh, Jeff Fessler because he had been a client before I got there and his membership had expired. So called him up one day and my name is Jen and I would love to meet you. I know you were a member and your membership has expired. And he's like, no, thank you. It wasn't great for me, I'm not interested. And being Jeff Fesslor, I was able to persuade him and you know, you haven't met me yet. I'm the new director, and I think that you know, you can have a different experience anyway, So he came in like that afternoon.

And he joined. He joined again.

And he joined. He joined again.

But the interesting part of that was that he said, you know you have all these questions you have to ask, like what are you looking for? What are you looking for? You know, mentally, emotionally, physically, and he's like, what am I looking for?

But the interesting part of that was that he said, you know you have all these questions you have to ask, like what are you looking for? What are you looking for? You know, mentally, emotionally, physically, and he's like, what am I looking for?

Looking mirror?

Looking mirror?

And if you know Jeff, if any of you've ever watched The Housewives or seen him on it, he's that's not really his personality. He's he's very introverted, sort of shy. And so I didn't realize at the time what a big deal that was. But so I said, no, sorry, I have a boyfriend, which I didn't. I was not attracted to him, not that he wasn't attractive. I just didn't have a spark, and not to mention the fact that I was, you know, I was working for this company and really shouldn't be dating my clients. But that was probably second to the fact that I didn't think.

And if you know Jeff, if any of you've ever watched The Housewives or seen him on it, he's that's not really his personality. He's he's very introverted, sort of shy. And so I didn't realize at the time what a big deal that was. But so I said, no, sorry, I have a boyfriend, which I didn't. I was not attracted to him, not that he wasn't attractive. I just didn't have a spark, and not to mention the fact that I was, you know, I was working for this company and really shouldn't be dating my clients. But that was probably second to the fact that I didn't think.

There was a connection.

There was a connection.

Anyway, he was very persistent and started calling me at work and please, let's get together. We can just be friends, and like, I just it's funny because I met him for a drink and he walked into we had a drink at the Four Seasons on fifty seventh Street. Anyway, he walked in and I thought, not for me. Jeff is five five. He likes to say he's five six. And the only thing I cared about for sure at that time when people would fix me up on blind dates was that he had to be tall, because I always had sort of like this complex about being a bigger girl, and you know, careful what you wish for, and what is that saying? We wait, we do something, and God laughs, we plan and God laughs. Anyway, but we became friends, but he was always still interested and I wasn't. But we played that little game and still hung out, and eventually I told him i'd fix him up. You know, I am the director of this dating service, So come in and we'll talk, and I'll show you some pictures of some of the women and tell me who you like. And so he did that, and the second he started to pick out those women that he liked, I started to get really annoyed and I was like, excuse me, you are in love with me?

Anyway, he was very persistent and started calling me at work and please, let's get together. We can just be friends, and like, I just it's funny because I met him for a drink and he walked into we had a drink at the Four Seasons on fifty seventh Street. Anyway, he walked in and I thought, not for me. Jeff is five five. He likes to say he's five six. And the only thing I cared about for sure at that time when people would fix me up on blind dates was that he had to be tall, because I always had sort of like this complex about being a bigger girl, and you know, careful what you wish for, and what is that saying? We wait, we do something, and God laughs, we plan and God laughs. Anyway, but we became friends, but he was always still interested and I wasn't. But we played that little game and still hung out, and eventually I told him i'd fix him up. You know, I am the director of this dating service, So come in and we'll talk, and I'll show you some pictures of some of the women and tell me who you like. And so he did that, and the second he started to pick out those women that he liked, I started to get really annoyed and I was like, excuse me, you are in love with me?

What is happening here?

What is happening here?

So I started to feel something for Jeff, and at the time, I was dating someone else. Trying to kind of wrap this up pretty quickly this part of the story, you guys, but long story short on one particular day I kissed the guy I was dating, and I kissed Jeff Fessler, and I was.

So I started to feel something for Jeff, and at the time, I was dating someone else. Trying to kind of wrap this up pretty quickly this part of the story, you guys, but long story short on one particular day I kissed the guy I was dating, and I kissed Jeff Fessler, and I was.

Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a second, it's Jeff Fessler. It is not this guy. And very quickly I was like, wait, wait, wait, I love Jeff Fessler. And very quickly after that we were engaged. Very quickly after that, we were married. Very quickly after that, we were pregnant. And so once I realized that he was the one, he had kind of figured it out before I did. I just I was like, you know, amen, let's go, let's start. Let's get this part of my life, rolling the family, the house in the suburbs, all of it was.

Wait a second, it's Jeff Fessler. It is not this guy. And very quickly I was like, wait, wait, wait, I love Jeff Fessler. And very quickly after that we were engaged. Very quickly after that, we were married. Very quickly after that, we were pregnant. And so once I realized that he was the one, he had kind of figured it out before I did. I just I was like, you know, amen, let's go, let's start. Let's get this part of my life, rolling the family, the house in the suburbs, all of it was.

It was so.

It was so.

Exciting that time in my life. And you know, we'd been really really close friends for a while, and once that, once I kind of crossed over into falling in love with Jeff, it was of course, it was more exciting and different. But the basis of our relationship was always that we were best friends. And today I would tell you that that is the most important part of me and Jeff Fessler. I mean, we are family and he is everything to me. But I just I had that with him always. I still have it today, and I tell my kids all the time how important that is to not just fall in love and have you know, all of the pheromones and the hormones and the you know, sparks and that kind of a sexual connection. But also I really like the person you decide to spend your life with right and to respect that person. And I felt all of that for Jeff Fessler. So we get married, and we do the newlywed thing, we do the new parents thing, and four months after we got married, I was pregnant and gave birth to my son in two thousand. In two thousand and two, I gave birth to my daughter, and.

Exciting that time in my life. And you know, we'd been really really close friends for a while, and once that, once I kind of crossed over into falling in love with Jeff, it was of course, it was more exciting and different. But the basis of our relationship was always that we were best friends. And today I would tell you that that is the most important part of me and Jeff Fessler. I mean, we are family and he is everything to me. But I just I had that with him always. I still have it today, and I tell my kids all the time how important that is to not just fall in love and have you know, all of the pheromones and the hormones and the you know, sparks and that kind of a sexual connection. But also I really like the person you decide to spend your life with right and to respect that person. And I felt all of that for Jeff Fessler. So we get married, and we do the newlywed thing, we do the new parents thing, and four months after we got married, I was pregnant and gave birth to my son in two thousand. In two thousand and two, I gave birth to my daughter, and.

Was you know, just.

Was you know, just.

I don't want to say playing that role. It's not it's really not the way it felt. I was living that life. I was just everything was about, you know, the babies and Jeff and our new family. And I guess like seven years into the marriage, well, things probably started to change before that. Maybe they started to change a little bit year five. I don't know, but I I started hanging out with friends who loved going out on Thursday nights in my town and we would go out to whatever local restaurant or bar and we would drink and we would flirt with guys and there wasn't anything specific happening. I wasn't I didn't have an affair, but I sort of like started to check out a little bit and I started to crave that attention that I did for years from men. I had lots of daddy issues, but I always felt the need to draw a man's attention. And you know the beginning when you have little babies, I wasn't feeling that as much, and then all of a sudden, I was like I started to started to need attention from men again, and so it was kind of like a thing. I mean, I don't know how I found this group of women that also wanted to go out on Thursday nights. Because you know, my best friends who are still my best friends today, a lot of them have been divorced, but there are some of them that didn't really crave that. I don't know if that's just where I was at in my life and Jeff and I were not connecting. He was working crazy long hours. He was an associate who was trying to make partner and at a law firm as a lawyer, and so he was traveling all the time and you know, I used to with the kids and another friend of mine know, his husband was traveling all the time. We always said we were like sister wives, and it was like, you know, four kids together and the two of us getting them through anyway. So I was out there as my point and my marriage was definitely not my priority at that time, and it wasn't for Jeff either, and so, you know, we were just not connecting. We were not connecting on an emotional level, and we were not connecting on a physical level. And eventually I discovered at about year seven, I guess that Jeff had an affair, and yeah, that was that was a hard day. Podcast is not long enough for me to get into all of the details of it all, but I will tell you that it was a very strange thing. This woman that Jeff was involved with and I had this conversation and I don't know, I knew almost immediately that something was up. But that's not the point of this whole big picture story. But I, as you would expect, completely lost my mind. I'm saying all of this to you first about my going out on Thursday nights and the headspace I was in because I do believe that if it was just a matter of time before it was me. And so everybody, you know, got so much feedback and advice, and I remember, just like my mom saying, how could you stay with him? But I guess I knew there was a part of me that knew that that not only does it take too But I almost felt lucky that it was him first, because I could place all the blame on him. But I had been flirting with other guys and whatever. I know that I was headed in that direction. Once I discovered that Jeff had had an affair, we probably spent I guess about a year still together. And this summer after it happened, I said to him, I'm going to Florida because I'd had lots of friends in Florida. My sister was in Florida. I'm taking the kids for the summer, and I just need some space. This was not a separation, This was just I just want to go to Florida. I want to, you know, be by my friends, be by my sister. Found a little rental, went to Florida, and not only found a little rental, found myself a little boyfriend. And so the end of that summer I'll never forget. Jeff came to visit and I told him that I wanted a separation. And it's interesting because I remember when he came to visit and we actually took the kids to Disney, and when he left, I just will never forget my son, just being so distraught. I want to go home, I want daddy. You know, I didn't factor in when I got separated. I guess because I had been through so much divorce. I didn't factor and how hard it was going to be, not only on my kids, but to watch my kids in that kind of pain. You know, they weren't. My parents were divorced when I was three, and then they got divorced again and again and again and again, and so you know, my mind, kids are resilient, but it was a whole other level of difficult. And you know, I think probably every mother and father feels that. Right when heard it said that, like when you're getting divorced, you get to the point if you go through with your divorce, where nothing matters except that you can't be with this person anymore because it's so hard. It's so hard, especially if you have kids. Well it's hard even if you don't, obviously, but it's so hard to watch your kids go through this with you, and so I guess I think a lot of people get to the point where they're like, Okay, listen, the kids are resilient. I don't care about the money, I don't care about being alone. I just can't be in this marriage anymore. But that was not the case with me or Jeff. So but I had this boyfriend, and I was convinced that, you know, it was time and that I on it a divorce. So I went back to Jersey and Jeff moved out and he moved into New York City and was distraught, I have to say, and the boyfriend, my boyfriend at the time, moved to Jersey from Florida. I did so many things wrong, you guys, that I wouldn't not do again and that I'm sorry for, even though in the end there's a happy ending. But you know, I was so caught up in this feeling of my heart racing from this guy, and you know, he's a nice guy.

I don't want to say playing that role. It's not it's really not the way it felt. I was living that life. I was just everything was about, you know, the babies and Jeff and our new family. And I guess like seven years into the marriage, well, things probably started to change before that. Maybe they started to change a little bit year five. I don't know, but I I started hanging out with friends who loved going out on Thursday nights in my town and we would go out to whatever local restaurant or bar and we would drink and we would flirt with guys and there wasn't anything specific happening. I wasn't I didn't have an affair, but I sort of like started to check out a little bit and I started to crave that attention that I did for years from men. I had lots of daddy issues, but I always felt the need to draw a man's attention. And you know the beginning when you have little babies, I wasn't feeling that as much, and then all of a sudden, I was like I started to started to need attention from men again, and so it was kind of like a thing. I mean, I don't know how I found this group of women that also wanted to go out on Thursday nights. Because you know, my best friends who are still my best friends today, a lot of them have been divorced, but there are some of them that didn't really crave that. I don't know if that's just where I was at in my life and Jeff and I were not connecting. He was working crazy long hours. He was an associate who was trying to make partner and at a law firm as a lawyer, and so he was traveling all the time and you know, I used to with the kids and another friend of mine know, his husband was traveling all the time. We always said we were like sister wives, and it was like, you know, four kids together and the two of us getting them through anyway. So I was out there as my point and my marriage was definitely not my priority at that time, and it wasn't for Jeff either, and so, you know, we were just not connecting. We were not connecting on an emotional level, and we were not connecting on a physical level. And eventually I discovered at about year seven, I guess that Jeff had an affair, and yeah, that was that was a hard day. Podcast is not long enough for me to get into all of the details of it all, but I will tell you that it was a very strange thing. This woman that Jeff was involved with and I had this conversation and I don't know, I knew almost immediately that something was up. But that's not the point of this whole big picture story. But I, as you would expect, completely lost my mind. I'm saying all of this to you first about my going out on Thursday nights and the headspace I was in because I do believe that if it was just a matter of time before it was me. And so everybody, you know, got so much feedback and advice, and I remember, just like my mom saying, how could you stay with him? But I guess I knew there was a part of me that knew that that not only does it take too But I almost felt lucky that it was him first, because I could place all the blame on him. But I had been flirting with other guys and whatever. I know that I was headed in that direction. Once I discovered that Jeff had had an affair, we probably spent I guess about a year still together. And this summer after it happened, I said to him, I'm going to Florida because I'd had lots of friends in Florida. My sister was in Florida. I'm taking the kids for the summer, and I just need some space. This was not a separation, This was just I just want to go to Florida. I want to, you know, be by my friends, be by my sister. Found a little rental, went to Florida, and not only found a little rental, found myself a little boyfriend. And so the end of that summer I'll never forget. Jeff came to visit and I told him that I wanted a separation. And it's interesting because I remember when he came to visit and we actually took the kids to Disney, and when he left, I just will never forget my son, just being so distraught. I want to go home, I want daddy. You know, I didn't factor in when I got separated. I guess because I had been through so much divorce. I didn't factor and how hard it was going to be, not only on my kids, but to watch my kids in that kind of pain. You know, they weren't. My parents were divorced when I was three, and then they got divorced again and again and again and again, and so you know, my mind, kids are resilient, but it was a whole other level of difficult. And you know, I think probably every mother and father feels that. Right when heard it said that, like when you're getting divorced, you get to the point if you go through with your divorce, where nothing matters except that you can't be with this person anymore because it's so hard. It's so hard, especially if you have kids. Well it's hard even if you don't, obviously, but it's so hard to watch your kids go through this with you, and so I guess I think a lot of people get to the point where they're like, Okay, listen, the kids are resilient. I don't care about the money, I don't care about being alone. I just can't be in this marriage anymore. But that was not the case with me or Jeff. So but I had this boyfriend, and I was convinced that, you know, it was time and that I on it a divorce. So I went back to Jersey and Jeff moved out and he moved into New York City and was distraught, I have to say, and the boyfriend, my boyfriend at the time, moved to Jersey from Florida. I did so many things wrong, you guys, that I wouldn't not do again and that I'm sorry for, even though in the end there's a happy ending. But you know, I was so caught up in this feeling of my heart racing from this guy, and you know, he's a nice guy.

He was a very nice guy.

He was a very nice guy.

And this passion that I was feeling and that just took over in a way, and I would have I had to do it again, I would have slowed things way down and I would have, you know, potentially just happened. It all seemed to happen so fast, and him moving to New Jersey and introducing him to my kids and you know, them forming a relationship. So you know, you live and learn. And the thing is, though, you know, Jeff and I were separated for a year and a half going on two. But the whole time we were separated, we just didn't seem to move forward in the divorce proceedings. So we got a mediator, and which was an easy choice to make because there wasn't a lot of animosity there anything. There was just like I just felt so sad and so badly because Jeff really did not want to get divorced, although we did. He got a girlfriend also, but we would like I don't know, there was no screaming at each other over money. I remember at one point I said to him, listen, I'm not worried. I don't we don't need a lawyer because I know you, I know your heart, I know what kind of father you are. I'm not at all worried that you're gonna screw me. I trust you, and I'm sure that people everywhere friends I don't remember at the time, they were probably like, you're you're a freaking idiot. But I just I knew him. I know Jeff Wessler, and so we didn't like, we weren't at each other's throats. When the kids would call UH to complain about I don't know daddy said this or Daddy did that. I was sort of like, honey, you died the wrong number. Do not complain about your father to me. And you know, he was the same. We were just very respectful of each other and sad and just very very sad. And eventually there's a lot that that went down. But eventually we were both on vacation. Jeff took the kids to beaches in Jamaica maybe and I at that time went to Saint Bart's, very glamorous with my boyfriend. And the whole time I was there, I was so sad. And it had nothing to do with this guy. Again, perfectly lovely, guy, treated me very well, but I just missed my family. And when I would talk to Jeff and the kids, you know, and they were in a whole different they were at all inclusive, and I don't know I was at this glamorous hotel, it was like, you know, a fortune and hob nobbing with the rich and famous, and all I wanted to do was like be at the buffet at beaches in Jamaica, and I just, I guess I just missed Jeff. I just missed him terribly. So got back from vacation and would like lie to my boyfriend and tell him I was going to go into mediation. And meanwhile I was like meeting Jeff at Chili's and just talking, and you know, he was so certain that we were making a mistake the whole time, and I think I was. I also, I knew in my heart that it was a mistake, because again, it's not easy to get divorced. I think that most people, maybe not everyone, but most people that do, they're they're pretty positive, right, And I just didn't want to live my life without Jeffessler. And there were so many reasons for it. Jeff Fessler made and makes me feel safe and makes me feel peaceful. I heard said this maybe mel Robbins said something once. It resonated with me, and it was that he's, like she said, don't wish to fall madly in love, wish to fall peacefully in love. And I know, like at the beginning of any relationship, there's the sparks fly, and there's all of that energy, and you know, excitement and crazy sex and all of that, not always but hopefully. But I would say, and I have said to my kids, all of that after a while, it's not that it goes away entirely, but life gets real. And so that did definitely dissipate for us that excitement and life got real, and I think that we both were looking for that excitement again as opposed to looking to each other to find it and to put it back into our marriage. I say all this to you, by the way, I'm not a marriage counselor this is just I'm just this is just you know, my experience. But we again, we went to Chili's and then it was Valentine's Day and he bought me these little earrings and it was like, okay, enough, this is clearly we are not ready to get divorced. But we also knew that we couldn't get back together and then have it happen again. Right, you can't do that to your kids again. So we had long conversations and I just knew that I didn't want to live my life without Jeff Fessler it not only in it, but you know, as my husband, and so we made that decision and try again. I remember we went my kids always went to Sleepway Camp and we went to visiting day and we sat down and we're like, you know, we have to tell you something.

And this passion that I was feeling and that just took over in a way, and I would have I had to do it again, I would have slowed things way down and I would have, you know, potentially just happened. It all seemed to happen so fast, and him moving to New Jersey and introducing him to my kids and you know, them forming a relationship. So you know, you live and learn. And the thing is, though, you know, Jeff and I were separated for a year and a half going on two. But the whole time we were separated, we just didn't seem to move forward in the divorce proceedings. So we got a mediator, and which was an easy choice to make because there wasn't a lot of animosity there anything. There was just like I just felt so sad and so badly because Jeff really did not want to get divorced, although we did. He got a girlfriend also, but we would like I don't know, there was no screaming at each other over money. I remember at one point I said to him, listen, I'm not worried. I don't we don't need a lawyer because I know you, I know your heart, I know what kind of father you are. I'm not at all worried that you're gonna screw me. I trust you, and I'm sure that people everywhere friends I don't remember at the time, they were probably like, you're you're a freaking idiot. But I just I knew him. I know Jeff Wessler, and so we didn't like, we weren't at each other's throats. When the kids would call UH to complain about I don't know daddy said this or Daddy did that. I was sort of like, honey, you died the wrong number. Do not complain about your father to me. And you know, he was the same. We were just very respectful of each other and sad and just very very sad. And eventually there's a lot that that went down. But eventually we were both on vacation. Jeff took the kids to beaches in Jamaica maybe and I at that time went to Saint Bart's, very glamorous with my boyfriend. And the whole time I was there, I was so sad. And it had nothing to do with this guy. Again, perfectly lovely, guy, treated me very well, but I just missed my family. And when I would talk to Jeff and the kids, you know, and they were in a whole different they were at all inclusive, and I don't know I was at this glamorous hotel, it was like, you know, a fortune and hob nobbing with the rich and famous, and all I wanted to do was like be at the buffet at beaches in Jamaica, and I just, I guess I just missed Jeff. I just missed him terribly. So got back from vacation and would like lie to my boyfriend and tell him I was going to go into mediation. And meanwhile I was like meeting Jeff at Chili's and just talking, and you know, he was so certain that we were making a mistake the whole time, and I think I was. I also, I knew in my heart that it was a mistake, because again, it's not easy to get divorced. I think that most people, maybe not everyone, but most people that do, they're they're pretty positive, right, And I just didn't want to live my life without Jeffessler. And there were so many reasons for it. Jeff Fessler made and makes me feel safe and makes me feel peaceful. I heard said this maybe mel Robbins said something once. It resonated with me, and it was that he's, like she said, don't wish to fall madly in love, wish to fall peacefully in love. And I know, like at the beginning of any relationship, there's the sparks fly, and there's all of that energy, and you know, excitement and crazy sex and all of that, not always but hopefully. But I would say, and I have said to my kids, all of that after a while, it's not that it goes away entirely, but life gets real. And so that did definitely dissipate for us that excitement and life got real, and I think that we both were looking for that excitement again as opposed to looking to each other to find it and to put it back into our marriage. I say all this to you, by the way, I'm not a marriage counselor this is just I'm just this is just you know, my experience. But we again, we went to Chili's and then it was Valentine's Day and he bought me these little earrings and it was like, okay, enough, this is clearly we are not ready to get divorced. But we also knew that we couldn't get back together and then have it happen again. Right, you can't do that to your kids again. So we had long conversations and I just knew that I didn't want to live my life without Jeff Fessler it not only in it, but you know, as my husband, and so we made that decision and try again. I remember we went my kids always went to Sleepway Camp and we went to visiting day and we sat down and we're like, you know, we have to tell you something.

We are getting back together.

We are getting back together.

And I just remember them staring at us and like it was like you, guys, I promise, I promise you, this is not going to happen again. And I don't remember the exact words that I use, but you know they were confused, of course, and happy, of course. And we sold our house because it was just time for a fresh start and same town, moved into a new house and actually we're in our third house here in Upper Saltle River where we live, and we started again. So let me just say, of all, I am not suggesting that anyone following the path that Jefffessler and I did, and I'm not saying that separation for sure is the answer. I can only speak from my own experience and say that things changed, and they changed for better. It's funny because in my town, like a lot of small suburban towns, everybody talks, right. So like when we got separated, everybody talked. When you know, everybody knew about our infidelity, and everybody knew when I had the new boyfriend and whatever. But when we got back together, I think that's probably when people started talking the most. And I started getting phone calls from a lot of women confidentially reaching out and saying, listen, I you know whatever, I really am not I want to get separated, but I'm not sure I want to get divorced or women that were separated, and how'd you do it?

And I just remember them staring at us and like it was like you, guys, I promise, I promise you, this is not going to happen again. And I don't remember the exact words that I use, but you know they were confused, of course, and happy, of course. And we sold our house because it was just time for a fresh start and same town, moved into a new house and actually we're in our third house here in Upper Saltle River where we live, and we started again. So let me just say, of all, I am not suggesting that anyone following the path that Jefffessler and I did, and I'm not saying that separation for sure is the answer. I can only speak from my own experience and say that things changed, and they changed for better. It's funny because in my town, like a lot of small suburban towns, everybody talks, right. So like when we got separated, everybody talked. When you know, everybody knew about our infidelity, and everybody knew when I had the new boyfriend and whatever. But when we got back together, I think that's probably when people started talking the most. And I started getting phone calls from a lot of women confidentially reaching out and saying, listen, I you know whatever, I really am not I want to get separated, but I'm not sure I want to get divorced or women that were separated, and how'd you do it?

What did you do?

What did you do?

How did you manage to get back together? And I don't even know, and I didn't know then. I really don't know now if there's a clear cut answer. I just I couldn't divorce him. I thank God because I feel blessed every day that our marriage survived and that, you know, our family is intact. But I just didn't have that conviction. I guess that I wanted to live without my husband, and we were both humble enough to also. We went to therapy, of course, and I admit our mistakes and talk about the infidelities and talk about, you know, where things went wrong and how we took each other for granted, and so yeah, so we got back together and life began again. We've been married for twenty five years, and so I'll tell you that my marriage is not perfect, and I am certainly not perfect. I am the biggest pain in the ass. Jeff is close to perfect. I would say that he's an amazing father, and he is an amazing man, just a good man. If any of you at there are Jewish or no, the word mentch, that's what Jeff is.

How did you manage to get back together? And I don't even know, and I didn't know then. I really don't know now if there's a clear cut answer. I just I couldn't divorce him. I thank God because I feel blessed every day that our marriage survived and that, you know, our family is intact. But I just didn't have that conviction. I guess that I wanted to live without my husband, and we were both humble enough to also. We went to therapy, of course, and I admit our mistakes and talk about the infidelities and talk about, you know, where things went wrong and how we took each other for granted, and so yeah, so we got back together and life began again. We've been married for twenty five years, and so I'll tell you that my marriage is not perfect, and I am certainly not perfect. I am the biggest pain in the ass. Jeff is close to perfect. I would say that he's an amazing father, and he is an amazing man, just a good man. If any of you at there are Jewish or no, the word mentch, that's what Jeff is.

Good man.

Good man.

And I'm very lucky and he puts up with a lot of shit. I am messy, I am at times lazy, cranky, nasty, and my husband is very very patient. He's not perfect either, so let me say that. And he can also drive me crazy. But I see in him I feel it has this. I feel lucky all the time, I feel like very I feel just very lessed. So fast forward, I guess all these years, I will tell you that Jeff and I are not We are not guided by this spar I use that word. I hope you guys relate to it. In other words, we ain't hanging from the chandeliers, right, We're not like And that's not to say that I'm not trying to put down our sex life or our connection. I'm just trying to be real and tell you that those things are good, but they are not we are I am fifty six, Jeff is sixty two years old. So that is not our priority. And people, you know a lot of people would disagree with me and do disagree with me that that has to be a huge priority, right, sex and date night and connection, and we're together all the time obviously, but I don't know that our marriage is based on that stuff. And that's not to say I don't know if it's good, bad, or I don't know. I'm just this is what is for us, and we are to this day. We are best friends. We are parents of these, you know, two incredible people. And you know, my sister has been through divorce and many many of my friends have. But she always says to me that she's specifically because of the kids. She's I don't know, jealous is the right word. She's my sister, but she wishes that she had family unit and that it's so nice to you know, be able to eat together, the four of us after all of these years, and so I feel very very lucky about that.

And I'm very lucky and he puts up with a lot of shit. I am messy, I am at times lazy, cranky, nasty, and my husband is very very patient. He's not perfect either, so let me say that. And he can also drive me crazy. But I see in him I feel it has this. I feel lucky all the time, I feel like very I feel just very lessed. So fast forward, I guess all these years, I will tell you that Jeff and I are not We are not guided by this spar I use that word. I hope you guys relate to it. In other words, we ain't hanging from the chandeliers, right, We're not like And that's not to say that I'm not trying to put down our sex life or our connection. I'm just trying to be real and tell you that those things are good, but they are not we are I am fifty six, Jeff is sixty two years old. So that is not our priority. And people, you know a lot of people would disagree with me and do disagree with me that that has to be a huge priority, right, sex and date night and connection, and we're together all the time obviously, but I don't know that our marriage is based on that stuff. And that's not to say I don't know if it's good, bad, or I don't know. I'm just this is what is for us, and we are to this day. We are best friends. We are parents of these, you know, two incredible people. And you know, my sister has been through divorce and many many of my friends have. But she always says to me that she's specifically because of the kids. She's I don't know, jealous is the right word. She's my sister, but she wishes that she had family unit and that it's so nice to you know, be able to eat together, the four of us after all of these years, and so I feel very very lucky about that.

Right.

Right.

No one will love to love your kids as much as your as much as their father or their mother. You know, you're whoever you made them with, and nobody's ever going to be as invested right as the two of you. But things are different now, oh god, they are so different now, certainly than before we were separated. But even you know, over the years things have changed and we're getting older, and so you know, when people ask about the state of my marriage, like, I always talk about the stuff that I love about it. I mean, I can tell you things I don't love about it, but the things that I love about it. So I love going on vacation with Jeff Essler. We've traveled a lot together, and what I love about it is that we've developed this rhythm and we kind of like he knows and I know exactly when we go on vacation. We plan it all around the three meals every day. Where are we eating breakfast, luncheon, dinner. And we are like when I say foodies, I don't mean we're fancy, We're not, but we are both well, that's what we care about the most is where are we eating? Of course, the sight seeing, of course, seeing different places, meeting different people, but there's a limit to that. Because we know that we know that I'm done after the morning of sight seeing, like that the afternoon has to be you know, chill and whatever that looks like. And that we're going to go out to dinner early because I need to be in bed by ten. And Jeff has adopted that way of vacationing and he's also like that. Now you know, I don't know. We have a rhythm and we we understand each other. We laugh a lot. We also fight. I don't know about a lot, but we definitely fight.

No one will love to love your kids as much as your as much as their father or their mother. You know, you're whoever you made them with, and nobody's ever going to be as invested right as the two of you. But things are different now, oh god, they are so different now, certainly than before we were separated. But even you know, over the years things have changed and we're getting older, and so you know, when people ask about the state of my marriage, like, I always talk about the stuff that I love about it. I mean, I can tell you things I don't love about it, but the things that I love about it. So I love going on vacation with Jeff Essler. We've traveled a lot together, and what I love about it is that we've developed this rhythm and we kind of like he knows and I know exactly when we go on vacation. We plan it all around the three meals every day. Where are we eating breakfast, luncheon, dinner. And we are like when I say foodies, I don't mean we're fancy, We're not, but we are both well, that's what we care about the most is where are we eating? Of course, the sight seeing, of course, seeing different places, meeting different people, but there's a limit to that. Because we know that we know that I'm done after the morning of sight seeing, like that the afternoon has to be you know, chill and whatever that looks like. And that we're going to go out to dinner early because I need to be in bed by ten. And Jeff has adopted that way of vacationing and he's also like that. Now you know, I don't know. We have a rhythm and we we understand each other. We laugh a lot. We also fight. I don't know about a lot, but we definitely fight.

We laugh a lot.

We laugh a lot.

It's there's this I don't there's this piece in my house that I did not have growing up and shout out to peace. So so funny. My friends who are single, I've set them up. I try to, and I say, there's a lot of them who are my age yet a little younger, a little older, and sometimes they don't connect with whoever they're dating, and you know, on the first date or the second date, and you know, there's a lot of I don't know, I don't see myself having sex with them, or I don't see my heart's not racing.

It's there's this I don't there's this piece in my house that I did not have growing up and shout out to peace. So so funny. My friends who are single, I've set them up. I try to, and I say, there's a lot of them who are my age yet a little younger, a little older, and sometimes they don't connect with whoever they're dating, and you know, on the first date or the second date, and you know, there's a lot of I don't know, I don't see myself having sex with them, or I don't see my heart's not racing.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm and I could be wrong about this, but if I was single. Now, what I'd be looking for is not necessarily that spark. I think that's great if you find it. I'd be looking for.

I'm and I could be wrong about this, but if I was single. Now, what I'd be looking for is not necessarily that spark. I think that's great if you find it. I'd be looking for.

Peace.

Peace.

I'd be looking for companionship. I'd be looking for someone whose life views matched my own, someone that I could have fun with and who is solid, and who would like Jeff actually, interestingly, interestingly enough, comes from the opposite childhood that I had. His parents were married for over fifty years. Two of the most wonderful humans that have ever walked the face of this earth. Max and Phyllis Wessler were just everything. I get choked up even talking about them. They had the most beautiful marriage and he just lived and died for her the same. But she felt the same. But she had a lot of health issues and he just always took care of her. And he set this example. I think, for Jeff, you know of what a good husband looks like, and I you know, people you know I'm honest about Jeff's affair and about then. I had my own fairs plural. But Jeff is the kind of husband that just shows up period and shows up for his kids.

I'd be looking for companionship. I'd be looking for someone whose life views matched my own, someone that I could have fun with and who is solid, and who would like Jeff actually, interestingly, interestingly enough, comes from the opposite childhood that I had. His parents were married for over fifty years. Two of the most wonderful humans that have ever walked the face of this earth. Max and Phyllis Wessler were just everything. I get choked up even talking about them. They had the most beautiful marriage and he just lived and died for her the same. But she felt the same. But she had a lot of health issues and he just always took care of her. And he set this example. I think, for Jeff, you know of what a good husband looks like, and I you know, people you know I'm honest about Jeff's affair and about then. I had my own fairs plural. But Jeff is the kind of husband that just shows up period and shows up for his kids.

Help.

Help.

I think I'm all over the place, you guys, excuse me if I am, but like you know, this is I don't know why the story is popping into my head. But when my son was graduating middle school, Jeff had won this award, this huge award. He won Lawyer of the Year. He's a securities attorneys, so like in his area, I want to say, City Bank sponsored this. It was a huge event where he was being honored and it fell on the same day as middle school graduation. And I was like, Jeff, I'm sorry, but Zach's not going to make his middle school graduation either. We're going We're going to this gala honoring you. And for me, there was no question. I was like, this is a once in a lifetime and he was not having it and he had have someone from his office be there to take his place. And I'm bragging about that because I'm so proud of that that because I know that if it was me and someone was honoring me for being the best friend of a housewife ever, they could have been graduating from college. We were going to that party. And so I bring other things to the table. But I am a little on the a little on the selfish side, but you know, that's that's just who he is.

I think I'm all over the place, you guys, excuse me if I am, but like you know, this is I don't know why the story is popping into my head. But when my son was graduating middle school, Jeff had won this award, this huge award. He won Lawyer of the Year. He's a securities attorneys, so like in his area, I want to say, City Bank sponsored this. It was a huge event where he was being honored and it fell on the same day as middle school graduation. And I was like, Jeff, I'm sorry, but Zach's not going to make his middle school graduation either. We're going We're going to this gala honoring you. And for me, there was no question. I was like, this is a once in a lifetime and he was not having it and he had have someone from his office be there to take his place. And I'm bragging about that because I'm so proud of that that because I know that if it was me and someone was honoring me for being the best friend of a housewife ever, they could have been graduating from college. We were going to that party. And so I bring other things to the table. But I am a little on the a little on the selfish side, but you know, that's that's just who he is.

And so today. Here we are, you know, we are in our are you know, golden years. I don't know.

And so today. Here we are, you know, we are in our are you know, golden years. I don't know.

We're middle age, little older than middle age now, and life is hard and it has dealt us blows like it does us all and we do the best we can and we fight, and we have unhappy moments and unhappy periods of time. But I don't know, I feel very, very lucky to have made my marriage work. And you know, to know that I'm growing old with this person who is just he's just so nice to me. I mean, it sounds so silly, right, but he is. He's so nice to me, and I try to be so nice to him and just appreciate him. And we're very different, you know. I'm I am outgoing, I'm an extrovert. Jeff's an introvert. I remember at the beginning of our marriage used to really annoy me because we would go out with other couples and Jeff was very quiet. He is very quiet, not at home at all and not in work, but he socially he can be and so he wouldn't say much.

We're middle age, little older than middle age now, and life is hard and it has dealt us blows like it does us all and we do the best we can and we fight, and we have unhappy moments and unhappy periods of time. But I don't know, I feel very, very lucky to have made my marriage work. And you know, to know that I'm growing old with this person who is just he's just so nice to me. I mean, it sounds so silly, right, but he is. He's so nice to me, and I try to be so nice to him and just appreciate him. And we're very different, you know. I'm I am outgoing, I'm an extrovert. Jeff's an introvert. I remember at the beginning of our marriage used to really annoy me because we would go out with other couples and Jeff was very quiet. He is very quiet, not at home at all and not in work, but he socially he can be and so he wouldn't say much.

And I used to get bess it fights on the way home.

And I used to get bess it fights on the way home.

And now it's like I don't give a shit and he talks to me. He has something to say, and he bonds with the guys that he bonds with, and he's actually enjoys being social more than I do.

And now it's like I don't give a shit and he talks to me. He has something to say, and he bonds with the guys that he bonds with, and he's actually enjoys being social more than I do.

It's up to Jeff.

It's up to Jeff.

We would go out at least twice a week. Once a week is more than I'd like to be going out, but he's into it and he loves being social. He loves all this reality TV stuff and the house. I love it too, but he really loves it. But I used to get so mad at him, and now as we've gotten older, it just does not bother me at all. There are other things that bother me. There are there things that we disagree on. He gets mad at me for I mean, many things, but it's just different. It's like we went through it and it was it really sucked, and we learned from it, I guess, and we are both so grateful to be where we are today. You know, we're not in couples therapy anymore, but that definitely helped.

We would go out at least twice a week. Once a week is more than I'd like to be going out, but he's into it and he loves being social. He loves all this reality TV stuff and the house. I love it too, but he really loves it. But I used to get so mad at him, and now as we've gotten older, it just does not bother me at all. There are other things that bother me. There are there things that we disagree on. He gets mad at me for I mean, many things, but it's just different. It's like we went through it and it was it really sucked, and we learned from it, I guess, and we are both so grateful to be where we are today. You know, we're not in couples therapy anymore, but that definitely helped.

I would definitely recommend that you know we are. I don't know.

I would definitely recommend that you know we are. I don't know.

Our house is very peaceful. That's what I want for my kids and for anyone who's listening, I would tell you that, yes, fall madly in love. I want passion for the people that I love. I want them to experience romance and passion and everything that goes along with it. And I'm not saying it's not still part of my marriage. He walks to the door, and sometimes my heart does skip a little beat. I'm very proud of him, but that is not the basis of it. The basis of us is. You know, it might sound funny since I've talked about infidelity, but it's trust and it's respect to mutual respect. He is smart and I love that. I know he's very proud of me for all this the silly world that I've become part of, but he loves it. He loves watching me do my thing, and he tells me appreciates me. And you know, even the podcast that I do with Jackie, the fact that I'm doing I do part two today. You know, he's always like, I know, he's very very proud of me. We're good to each other. But you know, I mean, that's that's kind of our story, and it's you know, we haven't had a perfect story, but I wouldn't change it. I say that, Yeah, No, I wouldn't. Like I don't again, I'm not recommending separation, but for some reason, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to us, and so I'm grateful for it. So, uh, you know, I get asked sometimes if we would ever do like a vow renewal. Nah, you will say that, I mean, no, I don't know.

Our house is very peaceful. That's what I want for my kids and for anyone who's listening, I would tell you that, yes, fall madly in love. I want passion for the people that I love. I want them to experience romance and passion and everything that goes along with it. And I'm not saying it's not still part of my marriage. He walks to the door, and sometimes my heart does skip a little beat. I'm very proud of him, but that is not the basis of it. The basis of us is. You know, it might sound funny since I've talked about infidelity, but it's trust and it's respect to mutual respect. He is smart and I love that. I know he's very proud of me for all this the silly world that I've become part of, but he loves it. He loves watching me do my thing, and he tells me appreciates me. And you know, even the podcast that I do with Jackie, the fact that I'm doing I do part two today. You know, he's always like, I know, he's very very proud of me. We're good to each other. But you know, I mean, that's that's kind of our story, and it's you know, we haven't had a perfect story, but I wouldn't change it. I say that, Yeah, No, I wouldn't. Like I don't again, I'm not recommending separation, but for some reason, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to us, and so I'm grateful for it. So, uh, you know, I get asked sometimes if we would ever do like a vow renewal. Nah, you will say that, I mean, no, I don't know.

We're not Jeff. Jeff is not one for words. I don't know.

We're not Jeff. Jeff is not one for words. I don't know.

I mean, we write each other beautiful cards, but I don't see that for us. I think it would just be I think it's a beautiful. It's beautiful when people do it, but for us, it would just probably be kind of cheesy. And I think we're just there's no question now that we're permitted and our vows are in place. Listen, ever, say never feel. I feel as positive as I could that our marriage is now going to last till death do us part. But again, you never know, So listen for anyone out there who maybe is thinking about reconciling with an ex if there's a chance. And I'm not saying an ex necessarily a boyfriend, Like if you're married, if you have kids and you're thinking about it a little bit. You know, if you're asking me, I'm gonna tell you, yeah, like pursue that. Maybe have some more conversation, you know, maybe go to mediation and therapy, maybe go to Chili's and have a margarita and try to speak nicely to each other if there's still that heart in you that's not sure. You know, divorce is hard. It's hard on the people that are getting divorced. It's hard on the man. It's hard on the woman or the two men or the two women, and it's hard on the kids. So for me, it worked to try again. So if there's a chance, I would encourage you to try to explore it, because it is. It's really nice to have been married for twenty five years. Actually though excuse me, Jeff says twenty three. He won't give me the twenty five because of the two years we were separated, But I'm telling him twenty five, especially when it is time for gifts. So but I wish everybody out there love, whether it's your part two, your part three, you're part four, whatever that looks like, whatever form that it takes, and you know, if it means divorce, I'm also for that. You know, nobody I don't. I wouldn't have wanted to set an example for my kids of being unhappy and living unhappy and fighting constantly, and I don't think that's healthy. I know that's not healthy. So there are, of course cases where divorce is the way to go. We got lucky, so I you know, I recommend if you're having doubts to at least respect those doubts. Maybe, And I hope though, if you do or if you don't, that you are at peace and happy in your relationships, are happy alone, or if you're at the beginning of your relationship, if you're at the beginning of a marriage, if you're beginning of your second marriage, I recommend I don't know, mutual respect and friendship and laughs, lots and lots of laughter. Okay, guys, so thank you so much for allowing me to tell you my little story here. I really love what this podcast is about, and I hope that maybe sharing my experience may help someone going through something similar. You know, if you're separated, if you're going through divorce, you can always if you have questions, please DM me, Please reach out, you can call, you can email, follow us on socials. All the information is going to be in the show notes, and you can rate the show You can review it if you feel like it. I would love it, but I do. Part two is an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. Thank you guys very much for listening.

I mean, we write each other beautiful cards, but I don't see that for us. I think it would just be I think it's a beautiful. It's beautiful when people do it, but for us, it would just probably be kind of cheesy. And I think we're just there's no question now that we're permitted and our vows are in place. Listen, ever, say never feel. I feel as positive as I could that our marriage is now going to last till death do us part. But again, you never know, So listen for anyone out there who maybe is thinking about reconciling with an ex if there's a chance. And I'm not saying an ex necessarily a boyfriend, Like if you're married, if you have kids and you're thinking about it a little bit. You know, if you're asking me, I'm gonna tell you, yeah, like pursue that. Maybe have some more conversation, you know, maybe go to mediation and therapy, maybe go to Chili's and have a margarita and try to speak nicely to each other if there's still that heart in you that's not sure. You know, divorce is hard. It's hard on the people that are getting divorced. It's hard on the man. It's hard on the woman or the two men or the two women, and it's hard on the kids. So for me, it worked to try again. So if there's a chance, I would encourage you to try to explore it, because it is. It's really nice to have been married for twenty five years. Actually though excuse me, Jeff says twenty three. He won't give me the twenty five because of the two years we were separated, But I'm telling him twenty five, especially when it is time for gifts. So but I wish everybody out there love, whether it's your part two, your part three, you're part four, whatever that looks like, whatever form that it takes, and you know, if it means divorce, I'm also for that. You know, nobody I don't. I wouldn't have wanted to set an example for my kids of being unhappy and living unhappy and fighting constantly, and I don't think that's healthy. I know that's not healthy. So there are, of course cases where divorce is the way to go. We got lucky, so I you know, I recommend if you're having doubts to at least respect those doubts. Maybe, And I hope though, if you do or if you don't, that you are at peace and happy in your relationships, are happy alone, or if you're at the beginning of your relationship, if you're at the beginning of a marriage, if you're beginning of your second marriage, I recommend I don't know, mutual respect and friendship and laughs, lots and lots of laughter. Okay, guys, so thank you so much for allowing me to tell you my little story here. I really love what this podcast is about, and I hope that maybe sharing my experience may help someone going through something similar. You know, if you're separated, if you're going through divorce, you can always if you have questions, please DM me, Please reach out, you can call, you can email, follow us on socials. All the information is going to be in the show notes, and you can rate the show You can review it if you feel like it. I would love it, but I do. Part two is an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. Thank you guys very much for listening.