Lassie and futurist Dom Price was given some pretty bad advice right before he became a father. A well intentioned friend told him never to share pictures of his overseas work trips with his partner because it might make her jealous. On his first few long distance work trips after becoming a dad, Dom didn't want to tell his partner that he was having a good time in case it made her time home alone with their twins feel even more challenging by comparison. But Dom quickly discovered the opposite was true. So how did Dom and his partner change the way they communicate after becoming parents of twins? And why do they pay particular attention to when and why they're feeling guilty as parents and as partners. My name is doctor amanthe Immer. I'm an organizational psychologist and the founder of behavioral science consultancy Inventium, And this is how I work a show about how to help you do your best work. On today's quick Win episode, we go back to an interview from the past and I pick out a quick win that you can apply today. In today's show, I speak with Don Price about how he and his partner transformed the way they communicate with each other after they became parents too twins.

Lassie and futurist Dom Price was given some pretty bad advice right before he became a father. A well intentioned friend told him never to share pictures of his overseas work trips with his partner because it might make her jealous. On his first few long distance work trips after becoming a dad, Dom didn't want to tell his partner that he was having a good time in case it made her time home alone with their twins feel even more challenging by comparison. But Dom quickly discovered the opposite was true. So how did Dom and his partner change the way they communicate after becoming parents of twins? And why do they pay particular attention to when and why they're feeling guilty as parents and as partners. My name is doctor amanthe Immer. I'm an organizational psychologist and the founder of behavioral science consultancy Inventium, And this is how I work a show about how to help you do your best work. On today's quick Win episode, we go back to an interview from the past and I pick out a quick win that you can apply today. In today's show, I speak with Don Price about how he and his partner transformed the way they communicate with each other after they became parents too twins.

I remember the first time I actually physically went back into the office for a day's work and I had some meetings. I was like, I'm going in today. And then I remember getting into the office and I got so much done that day. I bumped into people, I had adult conversation. It was great. And then and then I got a picture from a girlfriend popway to the day. She's out with the kids doing stuff, and I was like, oh, you're a bad dad. It's not what she intended. She sent to me a picture to remind me of like they were fine. She was fine, they're having fun. But I was like, you're a bad dad. You're not there to help with feed You're not that all the change. You're like, what are you so you're having all this fun. You know, you're having lunch, You're relaxing. You're not going to carry in the world. I did have a car, I had meetings and work to do. But to go into that adult mode and be wholly focused on that is very different from my work from home mode. My work from home mode is a lot of context switching. It's I'll do a meeting, I'll do a workshop, I'll do a zoom call. And then I'm like, I got a half hour break. What can I do in that half hour? I'm not getting ahead with work. I'm like, I can help for Echo something, i can put some laundry on, i can cook some food, nip the seed, mike or whatever. Because I'm playing two roles at the same time, and I like that duality. I'm fine with it. Like it's actually quite modal and it works. I'm like spike of work. You know. I start early in the morning seven am, us calls brilliant hold of stuff, and I'm like, right, I'm going to the supermarket. I can't do a supercowers to come back decent more meetings, decent war works, and I'm like, right, I'm going to cook some food. My brains trust, I'll cook some food, do some more stuff, bath the kids, and I'm like, I've got an hour's worth of working, meright. I'm going to get so so that modular works. But there's no guilt with it when it's modulo, because I get a little bit sprinter on the day when it's binary. When it's Dad walks out the door and leaves and I'm sat there, even though my commuter works fourteen minutes, for those fourteen minutes might as well be a million miles because I'm like, I can't help if something goes wrong, right, and if you need me if one kid's done something to the nappy and the other one needs to feel if something happens and you've got one set of hands and two kids, I'm not there to help. And that just filled me with guilt. So I was like, Okay, is that feels normal? Like in a natural response. So I talked to my girlfriend about it. I'm like, here's how I feel like, and it's weird because I want to do more time at home, but I need to. And she's like, you are the primary earner. You keep a roof overhead. Part of your role as dad is to maintain that job and that's part of your job. Don't feel guilty. So then it's like, okay, cool, how do we handle this? So the way we handle it is early warnings. So I'm like, I communicated with work, with my team, my extended team at work, and I'm like, if you want me to travel for work, I need at least six weeks notice. So like, why I was like, because that's the only fair thing to do right. The only fair thing for Beckery is to go right. In six weeks, I'm going to Nashville. I'm going to be away for a week. Let's plan for that, knowing that we can't plan for it because stuff's going to happen, that's out of our control. But what are the things we need to get in place so you're comfortable for that week And I'm comfortable and not feeling guilty because if I go to Nashville, but my head's still in Sydney, because I feel guilty that I'm doing need the job well. So when I'm in Nashville, I have to immerse. I have to be unapologetic. And so it was fascinating. I got some really bad advice from a friend, which was when you're traveling, don't tell your partner how much fun you're having, which which kind of makes sense, right, you don't want to rub it in. But then with one trip, I like I was down playing. It was like, you're not enjoying it. I was like, I'm actually having a really good time and I'm getting a lot done. She's like, good, that's why you're there, Like, do that and I'm like, yeah, why am I pretending that it's rubbish when it's not. And so again we've been unapologetically honest with each other. She's unapologetically honest if she's struggling or if he's going really well, and vice versa, right, And so that that candor and openness has really helped, and then the forward planning, right, and then just knowing what is that ritual? So we have a silly ritual. I do all the cooking in the house. I love cooking my relaxation, and.

I remember the first time I actually physically went back into the office for a day's work and I had some meetings. I was like, I'm going in today. And then I remember getting into the office and I got so much done that day. I bumped into people, I had adult conversation. It was great. And then and then I got a picture from a girlfriend popway to the day. She's out with the kids doing stuff, and I was like, oh, you're a bad dad. It's not what she intended. She sent to me a picture to remind me of like they were fine. She was fine, they're having fun. But I was like, you're a bad dad. You're not there to help with feed You're not that all the change. You're like, what are you so you're having all this fun. You know, you're having lunch, You're relaxing. You're not going to carry in the world. I did have a car, I had meetings and work to do. But to go into that adult mode and be wholly focused on that is very different from my work from home mode. My work from home mode is a lot of context switching. It's I'll do a meeting, I'll do a workshop, I'll do a zoom call. And then I'm like, I got a half hour break. What can I do in that half hour? I'm not getting ahead with work. I'm like, I can help for Echo something, i can put some laundry on, i can cook some food, nip the seed, mike or whatever. Because I'm playing two roles at the same time, and I like that duality. I'm fine with it. Like it's actually quite modal and it works. I'm like spike of work. You know. I start early in the morning seven am, us calls brilliant hold of stuff, and I'm like, right, I'm going to the supermarket. I can't do a supercowers to come back decent more meetings, decent war works, and I'm like, right, I'm going to cook some food. My brains trust, I'll cook some food, do some more stuff, bath the kids, and I'm like, I've got an hour's worth of working, meright. I'm going to get so so that modular works. But there's no guilt with it when it's modulo, because I get a little bit sprinter on the day when it's binary. When it's Dad walks out the door and leaves and I'm sat there, even though my commuter works fourteen minutes, for those fourteen minutes might as well be a million miles because I'm like, I can't help if something goes wrong, right, and if you need me if one kid's done something to the nappy and the other one needs to feel if something happens and you've got one set of hands and two kids, I'm not there to help. And that just filled me with guilt. So I was like, Okay, is that feels normal? Like in a natural response. So I talked to my girlfriend about it. I'm like, here's how I feel like, and it's weird because I want to do more time at home, but I need to. And she's like, you are the primary earner. You keep a roof overhead. Part of your role as dad is to maintain that job and that's part of your job. Don't feel guilty. So then it's like, okay, cool, how do we handle this? So the way we handle it is early warnings. So I'm like, I communicated with work, with my team, my extended team at work, and I'm like, if you want me to travel for work, I need at least six weeks notice. So like, why I was like, because that's the only fair thing to do right. The only fair thing for Beckery is to go right. In six weeks, I'm going to Nashville. I'm going to be away for a week. Let's plan for that, knowing that we can't plan for it because stuff's going to happen, that's out of our control. But what are the things we need to get in place so you're comfortable for that week And I'm comfortable and not feeling guilty because if I go to Nashville, but my head's still in Sydney, because I feel guilty that I'm doing need the job well. So when I'm in Nashville, I have to immerse. I have to be unapologetic. And so it was fascinating. I got some really bad advice from a friend, which was when you're traveling, don't tell your partner how much fun you're having, which which kind of makes sense, right, you don't want to rub it in. But then with one trip, I like I was down playing. It was like, you're not enjoying it. I was like, I'm actually having a really good time and I'm getting a lot done. She's like, good, that's why you're there, Like, do that and I'm like, yeah, why am I pretending that it's rubbish when it's not. And so again we've been unapologetically honest with each other. She's unapologetically honest if she's struggling or if he's going really well, and vice versa, right, And so that that candor and openness has really helped, and then the forward planning, right, and then just knowing what is that ritual? So we have a silly ritual. I do all the cooking in the house. I love cooking my relaxation, and.

You take lots of photos of it as well, which I appreciate. Yea.

You take lots of photos of it as well, which I appreciate. Yea.

So the rule is is before I go on a trip, I cook all the meals. So the other week I was in Portugal for an event with one of Alassian's life customers. Flew out on a Sunday Saturday afternoon, went to the suedmarket, filled the trolley and had a great time. I cooked four different meals for Becker. Her old housemate moved in for the week. She's like, if you're cooking that food, I want to come and hang out. And I put all the meals for the kids, which was great. That was my therapy, right, I genuinely enjoy it. But cooking all that that takes the guilt away, takes the pressure off the freezer. The fridge is full, so there's one less thing to worry about. I know you're going to be fed. Anything else we can work out afterwards, right, So it's little tips and tricks of how we bounce it to front load back end stuff and then just communicate about it.

So the rule is is before I go on a trip, I cook all the meals. So the other week I was in Portugal for an event with one of Alassian's life customers. Flew out on a Sunday Saturday afternoon, went to the suedmarket, filled the trolley and had a great time. I cooked four different meals for Becker. Her old housemate moved in for the week. She's like, if you're cooking that food, I want to come and hang out. And I put all the meals for the kids, which was great. That was my therapy, right, I genuinely enjoy it. But cooking all that that takes the guilt away, takes the pressure off the freezer. The fridge is full, so there's one less thing to worry about. I know you're going to be fed. Anything else we can work out afterwards, right, So it's little tips and tricks of how we bounce it to front load back end stuff and then just communicate about it.

I hope you enjoyed this little quick win episode today. If you would like to listen to the full interview, you can find a link to that in the show notes. If you're looking for more tips to improve the way that you work, I write a short fortnightly newsletter that contains three cool things that I've discovered that helped me work better, ranging from software and gadgets that I'm loving throughly interesting research finding. You can sign up for that at Howiwork dot com. That's how I Work dot co. Thank you for sharing part of your day with me by listening to How I Work. If you're keen for more tips on how to work better, connect with me via LinkedIn or Instagram. I'm very easy to find. Just search for Amantha Imba. How I Work was recorded on the traditional land of the Warrangery people, part of the Koln nation. I am so grateful for being able to work and live on this beautiful land, and I want to pay my respects to elders, past, present and emerging. How I Work is produced by Inventium and hosted by me Amantha Imba, and a big thank you to Martin Imba who did the audio mix and makes everything sound better than it would have otherwise.

I hope you enjoyed this little quick win episode today. If you would like to listen to the full interview, you can find a link to that in the show notes. If you're looking for more tips to improve the way that you work, I write a short fortnightly newsletter that contains three cool things that I've discovered that helped me work better, ranging from software and gadgets that I'm loving throughly interesting research finding. You can sign up for that at Howiwork dot com. That's how I Work dot co. Thank you for sharing part of your day with me by listening to How I Work. If you're keen for more tips on how to work better, connect with me via LinkedIn or Instagram. I'm very easy to find. Just search for Amantha Imba. How I Work was recorded on the traditional land of the Warrangery people, part of the Koln nation. I am so grateful for being able to work and live on this beautiful land, and I want to pay my respects to elders, past, present and emerging. How I Work is produced by Inventium and hosted by me Amantha Imba, and a big thank you to Martin Imba who did the audio mix and makes everything sound better than it would have otherwise.