Our guest this week is my former therapist, Koorosh Rassekh! We talk about where people-pleasing actually comes from, why it isn't a flaw you need to fix but something that once kept you safe, and the techniques that actually make hard conversations easier.

For most of my life I thought keeping the peace made me a better friend, partner, and person. I'd suppress my needs, avoid the conversations I was dreading, and tell myself I was just being easygoing. But it actually just built quiet resentment and slowly ruined my relationships.

If you say yes when you mean no, or you've been sitting on a conversation for months because you're afraid of how it'll land, this one's for you.

– Kevin

New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy.

And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it’s not. So if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help.

0:00  Intro: people-pleasing and conflict avoidance
6:59  Why you're not broken
9:47  Why expressing needs feels impossible
13:16 People-pleasing caught in real time
24:58 How to have hard conversations
41:08 Signs you're people-pleasing, and the cost