Okay, cats up little food for yourself life. Oh it's pretty bad. Hey, it's pretty beautiful, beautiful that for a little more.

Okay, cats up little food for yourself life. Oh it's pretty bad. Hey, it's pretty beautiful, beautiful that for a little more.

It's exciting.

It's exciting.

Said he can cut your.

Said he can cut your.

Kicking with four Thing.

Kicking with four Thing.

With Amy Brown.

With Amy Brown.

Happy Thursday, four Things Amy here. Kind of crazy to say that, so the last time, well that I'm going to say it. If you missed our announcement on Tuesday, four Things is getting a makeover. We're evolving here and it's definitely a good thing. Everything will remain on the same podcast feed, so same feed, new name, and Kat is joining as a full time co host after being my fifth Thing co host for years now. She'll now be here for every episode every Tuesday, every Thursday. Episodes will still load on those days and Kat will be by my side again. Everything will be on the speed, but you'll see new artwork with me and Kat on it and our new podcast name, which is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat and Walker Hayes, who did my four Things theme song, wrote us a new one for Feeling Things, and I love it so much. We played it on Tuesday when we did the announcement, but I want to play it again. It's real quick. It's like twenty seconds long, and it's our feeling things jingle and I just want to play it again and get you excited for next Tuesday, which will be our very first episode. So take it away, Walker, good. All right, break it down.

Happy Thursday, four Things Amy here. Kind of crazy to say that, so the last time, well that I'm going to say it. If you missed our announcement on Tuesday, four Things is getting a makeover. We're evolving here and it's definitely a good thing. Everything will remain on the same podcast feed, so same feed, new name, and Kat is joining as a full time co host after being my fifth Thing co host for years now. She'll now be here for every episode every Tuesday, every Thursday. Episodes will still load on those days and Kat will be by my side again. Everything will be on the speed, but you'll see new artwork with me and Kat on it and our new podcast name, which is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat and Walker Hayes, who did my four Things theme song, wrote us a new one for Feeling Things, and I love it so much. We played it on Tuesday when we did the announcement, but I want to play it again. It's real quick. It's like twenty seconds long, and it's our feeling things jingle and I just want to play it again and get you excited for next Tuesday, which will be our very first episode. So take it away, Walker, good. All right, break it down.

If you ever have feelings that you just wons maybe and Cat gotcha Covin locking a brother, Ladies and folks, do you just follow Anna Spear where it's all the real stuff to the chill stuff and him. Sometimes the best thing you can do it just you feel. This is feeling things with Amy and Kat.

If you ever have feelings that you just wons maybe and Cat gotcha Covin locking a brother, Ladies and folks, do you just follow Anna Spear where it's all the real stuff to the chill stuff and him. Sometimes the best thing you can do it just you feel. This is feeling things with Amy and Kat.

I love it.

I love it.

The more I listen to it, the more it just makes me smile. I'm so excited for this change, so huge thank you to Walker for that. This whole thing has been about seven months or so in the making, like the flip or the makeover, the rebrand or whatever we want to call it, so finally announcing it on Tuesday was really exciting. So many of you have been loyal listeners since the beginning, and I'm forever grateful. I hope that you continue to listen and connect with us and you stay the course with the change. Like sometimes change is just weird for people and they're like, eh, I'm not into it. But I hope that you see it as something awesome and it's just part of us evolving here and that you're evolving yourself, and.

The more I listen to it, the more it just makes me smile. I'm so excited for this change, so huge thank you to Walker for that. This whole thing has been about seven months or so in the making, like the flip or the makeover, the rebrand or whatever we want to call it, so finally announcing it on Tuesday was really exciting. So many of you have been loyal listeners since the beginning, and I'm forever grateful. I hope that you continue to listen and connect with us and you stay the course with the change. Like sometimes change is just weird for people and they're like, eh, I'm not into it. But I hope that you see it as something awesome and it's just part of us evolving here and that you're evolving yourself, and.

Hopefully you evolve. You evolved with us.

Hopefully you evolve. You evolved with us.

This change reflects we've grown and where we're going. There's going to be more honest conversations, more laughter, more depth, more stories, and well being. That it's called Feeling Things. Definitely more feelings. So again, I know I keep using that word evolve and evolution, but just think of it as a natural evolution of everything that we've already been building together. Because you're a part of this too. You're a part of building this podcast, So thank you for being a part of this with us. Tuesday episodes with Kat are going to be Kat and I'm just talking mostly. Occasionally we'll have an interview, but you'll find out on April first that Tuesday, like I said, it's going to be our first episode. Our debut episode is Feeling Things, So give it a listen. You'll see what that is going to be like, and who knows, it may evolve over time. Four Things definitely had different stages. For sure, we're still trying to figure a lot out. But for Thursday episodes, that's where you come in. We want to hear from you. And I do have an update on our new email address though, because on Tuesday we shared that it was Hello at Feeling Things podcast dot com and that's what we thought it was, but we were caught up in the moment and forgot that that wasn't available or we couldn't get it or something, so we had to get Hey, there at Feeling Things podcast dot com. So that is our email address, and we want to hear from you because we want to do Q and a's. We want topic suggestions from y'all. If you listen to cats podcast called You Need Therapy, she had an episode each week that she called couch Talks where she answered listener questions and so Feeling Things is adopting that. So our Thursday episodes are going to be our couch talk episodes where we go over your emails and questions. And again that'll be every Thursday, so you can email us. Starting emailing us now, Hey there at Feeling Things podcast dot com. Can't wait to start reading those. Speaking of cats, You Need Therapy podcast, one of my favorite episodes she ever put up is about the time that she cried over a Bagel.

This change reflects we've grown and where we're going. There's going to be more honest conversations, more laughter, more depth, more stories, and well being. That it's called Feeling Things. Definitely more feelings. So again, I know I keep using that word evolve and evolution, but just think of it as a natural evolution of everything that we've already been building together. Because you're a part of this too. You're a part of building this podcast, So thank you for being a part of this with us. Tuesday episodes with Kat are going to be Kat and I'm just talking mostly. Occasionally we'll have an interview, but you'll find out on April first that Tuesday, like I said, it's going to be our first episode. Our debut episode is Feeling Things, So give it a listen. You'll see what that is going to be like, and who knows, it may evolve over time. Four Things definitely had different stages. For sure, we're still trying to figure a lot out. But for Thursday episodes, that's where you come in. We want to hear from you. And I do have an update on our new email address though, because on Tuesday we shared that it was Hello at Feeling Things podcast dot com and that's what we thought it was, but we were caught up in the moment and forgot that that wasn't available or we couldn't get it or something, so we had to get Hey, there at Feeling Things podcast dot com. So that is our email address, and we want to hear from you because we want to do Q and a's. We want topic suggestions from y'all. If you listen to cats podcast called You Need Therapy, she had an episode each week that she called couch Talks where she answered listener questions and so Feeling Things is adopting that. So our Thursday episodes are going to be our couch talk episodes where we go over your emails and questions. And again that'll be every Thursday, so you can email us. Starting emailing us now, Hey there at Feeling Things podcast dot com. Can't wait to start reading those. Speaking of cats, You Need Therapy podcast, one of my favorite episodes she ever put up is about the time that she cried over a Bagel.

We even talked about it on.

We even talked about it on.

The Fifth Thing, It wasn't in the way that she talked about it on You Need Therapy, where she also offered wisdom and advice around it, which I mean, I think she did a little bit on the Fifth Thing, but she goes more into depth. But her bageld tears showed her what she needed. And if we're paying attention to moments like this for ourselves, we too can get information about our needs, you know. And it's like the question of why do small inconveniences sometimes take away our ability to utilize our rational thinking and drive us to make these mountains out of molehills? Like what is underneath our inability to regulate our emotions in those moments? And that's what Kat is breaking down in this episode that I'm gonna.

The Fifth Thing, It wasn't in the way that she talked about it on You Need Therapy, where she also offered wisdom and advice around it, which I mean, I think she did a little bit on the Fifth Thing, but she goes more into depth. But her bageld tears showed her what she needed. And if we're paying attention to moments like this for ourselves, we too can get information about our needs, you know. And it's like the question of why do small inconveniences sometimes take away our ability to utilize our rational thinking and drive us to make these mountains out of molehills? Like what is underneath our inability to regulate our emotions in those moments? And that's what Kat is breaking down in this episode that I'm gonna.

Play for you.

Play for you.

She talks about how she processed her dramatic moment, and she even brings Patrick on to give his take on what he saw going on as it was unfolding. Now, Patrick was her boyfriend at the time and now they've been married for a year, so the Bagel situation happened a while ago. But I just feel like it's the perfect episode to get to know Kat better, so I hope you enjoy it. You'll learn how to gain information about your needs during experiences when it feels like your disappointment is someone else's fault. But if you're paying attention, you might learn a little bit about what you really need. So here is an episode of You Need Therapy with Kat titled how crying over a bagel can show us what we need if we pay attention.

She talks about how she processed her dramatic moment, and she even brings Patrick on to give his take on what he saw going on as it was unfolding. Now, Patrick was her boyfriend at the time and now they've been married for a year, so the Bagel situation happened a while ago. But I just feel like it's the perfect episode to get to know Kat better, so I hope you enjoy it. You'll learn how to gain information about your needs during experiences when it feels like your disappointment is someone else's fault. But if you're paying attention, you might learn a little bit about what you really need. So here is an episode of You Need Therapy with Kat titled how crying over a bagel can show us what we need if we pay attention.

Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of You Need Therapy podcast. My name is Kat, I am the host, and I am so glad you're here. Before we get started today, a quick reminder that although this is a podcast that is hosted by a therapist and it's called You Need Therapy, this podcast does not serve as a replacement or substitute for actual mental health services. However, it can help you whatever journey you were on. I thought that we would use this episode as a little chance for me to tell a story, a recent story from my own life that led me to a reminder of something that I logically know but sometimes forget to apply to my life when I am in some emotional spaces. Because you guys know this, I talk about this all the time. I'm a therapist, I goes to therapy. I'm a therapist who also has to ask for help, which should be every therapist. And although we have a lot of information in our brain and we can help people access that information, sometimes when it is you, it's harder to take a step back and see the big picture. So I thought I would tell you today a story of when I cried about assessame bagel. And this happened on Sunday, January first, so not that long ago. I woke up, as I usually do, pretty early on this Sunday, and I couldn't go back to sleep, which is not an issue for me. I like getting up earlier. I like seizing the day. The mornings are my favorite part of the day. And I had this wonderful idea to go get my boyfriend breakfast, because one I wanted breakfast, but also he very often will be the one to get up and go run an errand or do something which is very kind, and I really appreciate that about him. But I thought, hey, what better way to start the new year than to do something kind for somebody else. So I said, Patrick, I'm going to get you a bagel, because you love bagels, and he loves bagels from a specific place. But I was like, I think we should try something new. I think we should try a more local spot, see if we can, you know, do like a bagel tour maybe, and then find the actual best bagel in Nashville, even though he swears by these bagels. So I did some research. I found one that was fifteen minutes away from my house, which is not really a fart way, but I also like going places that are five minutes away because I think, oh, it's fifteen minutes there, then it's fifteen minutes back. I also, I'm probably going to send fifteen mons and it's in the store at least getting what I need. So that's forty five minutes, which like rounds up to an hour, and that's an hour of my day, and so it just seems I get a little anxious about time. So anyway, I bet the bullet and I was like, I'm gonna do it because these bagels amazing. So I get in my car, I drive to this bagel place. Pretty easy to get there, not a lot of people on the road. And I get there and I park and I look across the street into the store and I noticed that all the lights are off, and I think to myself, well, it is January first, and a lot of businesses take off on January first, so I imagine that this place is closed. And then I saw a couple other people walk up to it and then walk away, so I quickly learned this place is closed. I was like, no big deal, just changing plans a little bit. So we're going to go to the original bagel place because I know that place is open. I checked it on Google. I text my boyfriend and I say, hey, this place is closed. I'm going to be a little longer. I'm gonna drive to the other bagel place. And it was seventeen minutes from where I currently was, so make seventeen minutes away. So I'm gonna be a little longer, but send me your order. He's like, okay, thank you so much, Like he was so appreciative. He wouldn't have even cared if I just came home and I didn't get anything. We would have just had cereal and been happy. So he's like, thank you so much. This is what I want if you go. So I drive there and listen to some good music. I'm feeling good I'm feeling fine. Not ideal, but I also stopped at McDonald's and got some diet cokes and hash browns, because what better way to eat a bagel than with a McDonald's diet coach, which coke, which is the healer of all healing things. So I get there and I walk in and there are two people in there too, like customers. One was walking out as I was walking in, and then there was one person waiting for their food and I walk in right away they asked me what my order is. I give them my order. I'm a little thrown off because I don't understand the way they're doing things. It seems a little chaotic, like I ordered somewhere where I guess normally you wouldn't order, and then there's nobody at the register, but normally you would order at the register. I just was a little thrown off of like how is this working? So I order and I say I need a sesame by with butter, and then an everything bagel with whatever Patrick's order was, which was like a just basic thing off of the menu, like a sandwich. And right away she goes, you said, oh, what bagel with butter? And I said, as sesame bagel, and she said, okay. All of a sudden, right after I order, literally I counted seventeen people came in. I don't know if there are teenagers or like twenty year olds. I don't I can never tell ages of people anymore, but I was like a younger group of kids, and it was a huge group. There's seventeen of them. And then after they came in, other people started to come in, and so a line started to form out of the door, and I was like, whoa. That was literally God getting here at the exact right time. So right after that happens, this girl, the girl that walked in when I was walking, or walked out when I was walking in, walks into the bagel shop and she has a bag on her hand and she said, hey, I asked for an avocado bagel with cheese and bacon, and you just put avocado on this. And they're very confused by her. She had a repeat herself like three times, and then finally the person that made her bagel was like, what's the problem and she told her and she just was like, well, I didn't know that that's what you wanted, which I'm sure she was stressed. There's a lot of people in there. I probably would have handled that a little differently and that's okay. And so you could tell the girl was getting a little frushrated. And she's like, well, can I just have the bagel I ordered and the bagel that I paid for? So she's waiting there. I'm waiting there for my bagels. Time goes by, the woman hands me my bagel and then walks off. I'm sitting there confused of like, okay, do I just take this? Is it free? Or like how do I pay? Because there's nobody at the register. And then right after they had me my bagel, they handed the girl her bag back and she opens it and she immediately goes there's no bagel in here. And the woman was like what, shes well, there's no bagel in the bag you gave me, And she said, well, I thought you just needed bacon for your bagel, and she said, no, you took my bagel to remain make my bagel. Now I don't have a bagel and I just have bacon. And she looked at it and she goes, well, I didn't know that, which was very confusing to me. So the girl's getting frustrated, the woman starts remaking her bagel. I guess, and then finally a couple of minutes later, somebody comes out of the register and starts like ringing me up or asking what I ordered. And it was a chaotic place. I have so much compassion for being in a chaotic place. There's gonna be a line, there's gonna be that normally somebody might approach that situation. But thank you for being patient, or sorry about the line, or really thank you for being patient. It's the best way to handle that because I didn't have an issue waiting. It was really that I just was confused. I didn't know what was going on. So they're a little bit rude bringing me up, and I just was like, whatever, it's the new year. Who knows what happened to these people last night, if they had a rough night or a good night, or maybe something happened in their lives recently, and they're just having a hard time. So I'm gonna leave with my bagels and I'm gonna be happy. I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna eat my bag with Patrick, and we're gonna have a wonderful first day of the new year. So I get back in my car, knowing that I showed up probably checked my order after watching What Happened with the girl with the avocado bacon bagel, and then just got bacon. But I was just in a rush. I wanted to get back to Patrick. I wanted to eat my bagel. I was excited. I could tell there's two bagels in there, so I just was like, let's go. So I drove fifteen minutes home and was so excited about all the goodies. I had the hash rounds, I had the diet Cokes and I brought them to Patrick and we were opening up our stuff and I was explaining, like the chaos, kind of laughing it off, like that was crazy. That place is so inefficient. I don't understand it. And I opened up my bagel, knowing that I ordered a sess me a bagel with butter, but probably the easiest order anybody could ever have other than getting up plaining bagel with butter, and I noticed that there's like a lot of butter on it, and I'm like, oh, I guess I'm gonna have to go downstairs and get a knife to spread this because it's just like a big chunk of like white. So I opened up my bagel and then I see that this was not a big chunk of butter. It was a huge, massive glob of cream cheese. I had chunks of something in it. It was like red, and so I imagine that it's peppers or tomatoes or something. But there's chunks of something in the cream cheese. And I lost my mind. When I lose my mind, I don't get super loud all the time. I wasn't yelling, I was anything. I just lost control of which we never really have control of emotions. But I just lost control of my emotions and my excitement, and I became very upset very quick, and I said, oh my gosh, this has cream cheese on it. I can't eat this. I slammed bagel, shutting through it on the floor, and I was so upset, and I was also really hungry at this point. And you know, I do realize how silly this is, just so you know we're going to get to that point. But I remember wanting to throw things. I just wanted to be so mad. I was so mad at this bagel place, and then I was mad at Patrick. And he did nothing wrong. He he offered to go get me the right bagel. He was like, do want me to go back and get what you ordered? And I said no, because if you do that, it defeats the purpose of me trying to go do something nice for you. And I just tried to do something nice for you and how to have a good morning, and this is what happens. And I can't even eat that, And how hard is it to just make? I mean, I was so mad. And then I got even more mad because he was sitting there because he offered to do something. So he was like, I guess I'll eat my bagel. So he was sitting there enjoying his bagel on diet coke, and I was just pissed, like pissed off. So eventually I just get up, throw the covers off, stomp downstairs. Yes, we were eating in bed, which might be gross to you guys. I totally understand that, and if you judge me, that's okay. I have no issue with it. So I summed downstairs, and we had made a plan to clean the kitchen and then go grocery shopping to get ourselves set up for the new year. We had made a budget. We were excited to start like cooking at home, and so I wasn't so excited to do that, but I was like, I guess I'll just clean the kitchen by myself since Patrick's just up there eating a bagel. Meanwhile, like I brought him the bagel to eat, and I remember wanting to slam things, but I have those like soft closing drawers, so you can't slam them. So I kept trying to slam the drawer, but then the drawer would get caught on whatever it is that keeps it from slamming. So then I got even more mad. And so I have a kitchen appliants that has a couple of pieces and I just like throw it into the pantry to like make noise. I just wanted to release something, which is that's totally normal and healthy. I probably should have punched some pillows or gone and throw rocks or ice or screened into a pillow, but I was taking it out on anything in the kitchen. And so then I start doing the dishes, and of course I'm stewing it and creating more anger and resentment towards Patrick because he's not helping me, even though he's eating the bag Why I bought him and then he comes downstairs eventually, and he's tiptoeing down the stairs, and then he comes in the kitchen and starts, you know, trying to put some of the dishes away. He quietly grabs a dish towel starts to dry the dishes that I'm cleaning. And it just was pissing me off that he was there. And he went and got dressed and he can marry. He was like, I'm going to go to the grocery store, and I was like, you can't go to the grocery store. We didn't even make a list. I'm like so angry. At this point, He's like, well, I would like to go now. I don't mind going now. I want to do that before it gets too late because I want to watch some the football games today. And oh my god, that sentence through me, Oh, you want to go now when it's convenient for you, so you can watch football games, player, so you can have a good day again. All of my logic was turned off at this point. My emotional brain was just rereaking havoc all over the place. So sometime goes by. My friend ends up ordering me a bagel from another place down the road. That I actually wanted to go to it initially. And so we sit down and I'm like, I know I'm being a rational Patrick, but I would like to go to the grocery store together. I would like to make a list. It didn't happen this nicely. It took some more settling down of me, and I don't think I said it exactly this way, but the gist of what I said was, I want to make a list. I want to make a plan for the week for food, and then I want to go together, Like I want to go to the grocery store together. I don't want this to just be me going to the grocery store to get food for you and us, obviously, so you can sit home and watch football day, which is a whole other story. People out there whose partners love watching hours and hours and hours of football on the weekends. We're going to create a support group. But anyway, so then he's like, okay, I'll go to the store with you. It's fine, And I was like, okay, well, I have to wait for this bagel now that Kellen, my friend Kellen had got me, and I knew he was getting antsy because he's like, well, if we go get the bagel, and then what if you have to sit and talk to your friend, and then it's going to take us longer to the grocery store, and I want to get back by a certain point because I knew he was going to the grocery store to appease me, but he really wanted to be at home watching football. So we get in the car, we go to get the bagel, and I could just tell he didn't want to be there. So what I did then I gave nobody any solution to get out of this safely. So I said, I don't want you to go to the grocery store if you don't want to go to the grocery store with me. I don't want you to the grocery store with me if you would rather be at home watching football. He was like, well, I don't know what to tell you. I will go to the grocery store with you, but obviously I would rather be watching football. I said, then you then don't come. So I dropped him off to his car because his car was at a friend's house near my friend Kellen, who had got me the bagel. And I said, well, then you can't don't come with me. So he gets out of the car quietly, and then he comes over to the other side of the car and he taps on the window and I roll it down and he just says I love you, and I said I love you too, and I'm really mad at you right now. He was like, I don't know what you want me to do, and I said, well, you can't. You can't. I just want you to know that you can't win, because if you come with me and you're up, you're upset, then you don't want to be there. I'm going to be mad at you, and if you don't come with me, I'm also going to be mad at you. He was like, okay, well, I don't know what to do. I'm just gonna come with you. And I was like, okay, realizing in this moment, I'm making this worse, so I'm like, okay, just come with me. Whatever. So he actually drove the grocery store separately in his car, and then I drove in my car to the grocery store and I had some alone time to think, and I was like, Catherine, you know you're being a rational right now. You know in time, you're not going to feel this way. You have an opportunity to go grocery shopping with Patrick and have a good time and enjoy yourself, or you can be mean to him. Those are your options. And so I said, Okay, I'm going to apologize when I get there. I'm going to tell him I'm in a bad mood and I'm working on getting out of that bad mood, but I just can't snap out of it. It's going to take me a second. So I did that. He said, okay, we actually had a fine time at the grocery store. It wasn't the best time, but a fine time. So that was my day of It was literally probably from nine o'clock to probably one or two, where this bagel had just taken over my first day of the new year, and there was a lot of feelings. There were some tears in my eyes, and there was a lot of I wanted to laugh at myself, but I couldn't because then I would be mad at myself for laughing myself. So as I am recounting this experience later that day with friends, and I told the story on the fifth Thing with Amy Brown that evening, I started to remember and pull up the memories that because this is not an isolated event, and I started to remember a couple other times recently that this has happened, And there was one similar situation a couple months ago where Patrick had actually gotten up and gone to get me. I really wanted a power Aid slush. It just sounded so good to me. He went up and got me a poweried slush from Sonic. I ordered on the app. I downloaded the app just so I could order it and get a half price because side note pro tip if you order drinks on the app from Sonic happy hours all the time, so you can always get a half price drink, which is very clutch. So I ordered on the app. He got food. We probably would not have gotten food from Sonic because that's not my preferred breakfast food, although Sonic is so good. But I wanted powered slush, so that's what we did. So we went and got it, picked it up, he brought it to me. It was not a power aided slush. It was a huge power Aid and Patrick didn't understand what the big deal was. And I was like, I can't drink this, and also I don't want this. This is very different than what I wanted, and I could not get over it I again tears in my eyes. Was so upset. I actually went as far to writing a email to Sonic's customer service, and in the email it even said I wish I could pull it up. But in the meal, I told him what happened, like I ordered this and then I came home and this is what I got. And I do realize that this is not that big of a deal, and I am being a little bit dramatic, but I can't help it. And I just needed an outlet to share my feelings. I'm not even asking for anything. I just like wanted to tell somebody. They actually did give me a free drink, so it worked really in my favorite and Patrick also went back and got the actual drink and Sonics like five that's from our house. So that happened, and it was like so wild, like it's not again small potatoes. And then more recently than that, I think it was the end of the end of November or early December. I had gotten some Christmas pajamas for Patrick and I. I was doing some shopping and noticed that Old Navy had their Christmas pajamas out and I was like, oh, I got to get those now, because I know they sell out, and so I go and I'm trying to find a pattern that would appease both Patrick and I because he's more picky and I don't know if you would wear certain things that I would wear, and I wanted them to match, and then you had to find the same thing that had my size and his size. So I got these pajamas and I got home and I put them upstairs and I told them I have a surprise for you. They're upstairs. Go check it out. And my mom used to always do this, but she would give them to us on Christmas Eve, and I was gonna do that, but then I was like, wait, we could wear these pajamas all December and they can be like our Christmas pajamas. So we gets them and he's excited and we put them on later that night and he's like, just so you know, these aren't Christmas pajamas. And I was like, excuse me. He said, yeah, so I like these and I love them. Thank you for buying them for me, but these aren't Christmas pajamas. These are just pajamas. And they were the buffalo check, like black, like the plaid. It was just black and white. And when I tell you I lost again my mind. I lost my mind. I was so distraught I refused to put mine on. I actually put them back in the bag and said, well, you can return these because I'm not going to wear them anymore, and you now are responsible for going to find us Christmas pajamas because apparently I can't do that correctly. I mean, this is so outside of how I normally act. And then he went downstairs to I think we'll watch a movie or something. I think he thought I was coming, and I just got in bed and started reading my book and wouldn't go downstairs. And then a little later he came upstairs and he was like, I what is wrong? And I told him how said I was, and he apologized, and I just couldn't get over it. I said, I appreciate your apology and I do accept it, but I can't get over this and I'm not gonna be able to wear those pajamas, and so I do need you to return them. He was like, okay, I'm so sorry, and we'll get to more of that as we carry on, but before we do that, I actually thought it would be interesting to get Patrick. And for some of you, you know him as big p from when we talk about him on the Fifth Thing with Amy on her podcast Four Things with Amy Brown. I thought it'd be interesting to get his perspective on what he thought was going on and how he was feeling as these couple of events were happening, because, like I said, they're outside of my norm and they were very small things that set me off versus really big things. So I'm gonna go get Patrick and then we're going to talk to him really quick about this. I have Patrick here in the flesh. This is his You Need Therapy debut, This is his podcast debut, This is any other kind of debut having right now. Okay, all right, So how do you feel feel good? Okay? He feels good?

Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of You Need Therapy podcast. My name is Kat, I am the host, and I am so glad you're here. Before we get started today, a quick reminder that although this is a podcast that is hosted by a therapist and it's called You Need Therapy, this podcast does not serve as a replacement or substitute for actual mental health services. However, it can help you whatever journey you were on. I thought that we would use this episode as a little chance for me to tell a story, a recent story from my own life that led me to a reminder of something that I logically know but sometimes forget to apply to my life when I am in some emotional spaces. Because you guys know this, I talk about this all the time. I'm a therapist, I goes to therapy. I'm a therapist who also has to ask for help, which should be every therapist. And although we have a lot of information in our brain and we can help people access that information, sometimes when it is you, it's harder to take a step back and see the big picture. So I thought I would tell you today a story of when I cried about assessame bagel. And this happened on Sunday, January first, so not that long ago. I woke up, as I usually do, pretty early on this Sunday, and I couldn't go back to sleep, which is not an issue for me. I like getting up earlier. I like seizing the day. The mornings are my favorite part of the day. And I had this wonderful idea to go get my boyfriend breakfast, because one I wanted breakfast, but also he very often will be the one to get up and go run an errand or do something which is very kind, and I really appreciate that about him. But I thought, hey, what better way to start the new year than to do something kind for somebody else. So I said, Patrick, I'm going to get you a bagel, because you love bagels, and he loves bagels from a specific place. But I was like, I think we should try something new. I think we should try a more local spot, see if we can, you know, do like a bagel tour maybe, and then find the actual best bagel in Nashville, even though he swears by these bagels. So I did some research. I found one that was fifteen minutes away from my house, which is not really a fart way, but I also like going places that are five minutes away because I think, oh, it's fifteen minutes there, then it's fifteen minutes back. I also, I'm probably going to send fifteen mons and it's in the store at least getting what I need. So that's forty five minutes, which like rounds up to an hour, and that's an hour of my day, and so it just seems I get a little anxious about time. So anyway, I bet the bullet and I was like, I'm gonna do it because these bagels amazing. So I get in my car, I drive to this bagel place. Pretty easy to get there, not a lot of people on the road. And I get there and I park and I look across the street into the store and I noticed that all the lights are off, and I think to myself, well, it is January first, and a lot of businesses take off on January first, so I imagine that this place is closed. And then I saw a couple other people walk up to it and then walk away, so I quickly learned this place is closed. I was like, no big deal, just changing plans a little bit. So we're going to go to the original bagel place because I know that place is open. I checked it on Google. I text my boyfriend and I say, hey, this place is closed. I'm going to be a little longer. I'm gonna drive to the other bagel place. And it was seventeen minutes from where I currently was, so make seventeen minutes away. So I'm gonna be a little longer, but send me your order. He's like, okay, thank you so much, Like he was so appreciative. He wouldn't have even cared if I just came home and I didn't get anything. We would have just had cereal and been happy. So he's like, thank you so much. This is what I want if you go. So I drive there and listen to some good music. I'm feeling good I'm feeling fine. Not ideal, but I also stopped at McDonald's and got some diet cokes and hash browns, because what better way to eat a bagel than with a McDonald's diet coach, which coke, which is the healer of all healing things. So I get there and I walk in and there are two people in there too, like customers. One was walking out as I was walking in, and then there was one person waiting for their food and I walk in right away they asked me what my order is. I give them my order. I'm a little thrown off because I don't understand the way they're doing things. It seems a little chaotic, like I ordered somewhere where I guess normally you wouldn't order, and then there's nobody at the register, but normally you would order at the register. I just was a little thrown off of like how is this working? So I order and I say I need a sesame by with butter, and then an everything bagel with whatever Patrick's order was, which was like a just basic thing off of the menu, like a sandwich. And right away she goes, you said, oh, what bagel with butter? And I said, as sesame bagel, and she said, okay. All of a sudden, right after I order, literally I counted seventeen people came in. I don't know if there are teenagers or like twenty year olds. I don't I can never tell ages of people anymore, but I was like a younger group of kids, and it was a huge group. There's seventeen of them. And then after they came in, other people started to come in, and so a line started to form out of the door, and I was like, whoa. That was literally God getting here at the exact right time. So right after that happens, this girl, the girl that walked in when I was walking, or walked out when I was walking in, walks into the bagel shop and she has a bag on her hand and she said, hey, I asked for an avocado bagel with cheese and bacon, and you just put avocado on this. And they're very confused by her. She had a repeat herself like three times, and then finally the person that made her bagel was like, what's the problem and she told her and she just was like, well, I didn't know that that's what you wanted, which I'm sure she was stressed. There's a lot of people in there. I probably would have handled that a little differently and that's okay. And so you could tell the girl was getting a little frushrated. And she's like, well, can I just have the bagel I ordered and the bagel that I paid for? So she's waiting there. I'm waiting there for my bagels. Time goes by, the woman hands me my bagel and then walks off. I'm sitting there confused of like, okay, do I just take this? Is it free? Or like how do I pay? Because there's nobody at the register. And then right after they had me my bagel, they handed the girl her bag back and she opens it and she immediately goes there's no bagel in here. And the woman was like what, shes well, there's no bagel in the bag you gave me, And she said, well, I thought you just needed bacon for your bagel, and she said, no, you took my bagel to remain make my bagel. Now I don't have a bagel and I just have bacon. And she looked at it and she goes, well, I didn't know that, which was very confusing to me. So the girl's getting frustrated, the woman starts remaking her bagel. I guess, and then finally a couple of minutes later, somebody comes out of the register and starts like ringing me up or asking what I ordered. And it was a chaotic place. I have so much compassion for being in a chaotic place. There's gonna be a line, there's gonna be that normally somebody might approach that situation. But thank you for being patient, or sorry about the line, or really thank you for being patient. It's the best way to handle that because I didn't have an issue waiting. It was really that I just was confused. I didn't know what was going on. So they're a little bit rude bringing me up, and I just was like, whatever, it's the new year. Who knows what happened to these people last night, if they had a rough night or a good night, or maybe something happened in their lives recently, and they're just having a hard time. So I'm gonna leave with my bagels and I'm gonna be happy. I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna eat my bag with Patrick, and we're gonna have a wonderful first day of the new year. So I get back in my car, knowing that I showed up probably checked my order after watching What Happened with the girl with the avocado bacon bagel, and then just got bacon. But I was just in a rush. I wanted to get back to Patrick. I wanted to eat my bagel. I was excited. I could tell there's two bagels in there, so I just was like, let's go. So I drove fifteen minutes home and was so excited about all the goodies. I had the hash rounds, I had the diet Cokes and I brought them to Patrick and we were opening up our stuff and I was explaining, like the chaos, kind of laughing it off, like that was crazy. That place is so inefficient. I don't understand it. And I opened up my bagel, knowing that I ordered a sess me a bagel with butter, but probably the easiest order anybody could ever have other than getting up plaining bagel with butter, and I noticed that there's like a lot of butter on it, and I'm like, oh, I guess I'm gonna have to go downstairs and get a knife to spread this because it's just like a big chunk of like white. So I opened up my bagel and then I see that this was not a big chunk of butter. It was a huge, massive glob of cream cheese. I had chunks of something in it. It was like red, and so I imagine that it's peppers or tomatoes or something. But there's chunks of something in the cream cheese. And I lost my mind. When I lose my mind, I don't get super loud all the time. I wasn't yelling, I was anything. I just lost control of which we never really have control of emotions. But I just lost control of my emotions and my excitement, and I became very upset very quick, and I said, oh my gosh, this has cream cheese on it. I can't eat this. I slammed bagel, shutting through it on the floor, and I was so upset, and I was also really hungry at this point. And you know, I do realize how silly this is, just so you know we're going to get to that point. But I remember wanting to throw things. I just wanted to be so mad. I was so mad at this bagel place, and then I was mad at Patrick. And he did nothing wrong. He he offered to go get me the right bagel. He was like, do want me to go back and get what you ordered? And I said no, because if you do that, it defeats the purpose of me trying to go do something nice for you. And I just tried to do something nice for you and how to have a good morning, and this is what happens. And I can't even eat that, And how hard is it to just make? I mean, I was so mad. And then I got even more mad because he was sitting there because he offered to do something. So he was like, I guess I'll eat my bagel. So he was sitting there enjoying his bagel on diet coke, and I was just pissed, like pissed off. So eventually I just get up, throw the covers off, stomp downstairs. Yes, we were eating in bed, which might be gross to you guys. I totally understand that, and if you judge me, that's okay. I have no issue with it. So I summed downstairs, and we had made a plan to clean the kitchen and then go grocery shopping to get ourselves set up for the new year. We had made a budget. We were excited to start like cooking at home, and so I wasn't so excited to do that, but I was like, I guess I'll just clean the kitchen by myself since Patrick's just up there eating a bagel. Meanwhile, like I brought him the bagel to eat, and I remember wanting to slam things, but I have those like soft closing drawers, so you can't slam them. So I kept trying to slam the drawer, but then the drawer would get caught on whatever it is that keeps it from slamming. So then I got even more mad. And so I have a kitchen appliants that has a couple of pieces and I just like throw it into the pantry to like make noise. I just wanted to release something, which is that's totally normal and healthy. I probably should have punched some pillows or gone and throw rocks or ice or screened into a pillow, but I was taking it out on anything in the kitchen. And so then I start doing the dishes, and of course I'm stewing it and creating more anger and resentment towards Patrick because he's not helping me, even though he's eating the bag Why I bought him and then he comes downstairs eventually, and he's tiptoeing down the stairs, and then he comes in the kitchen and starts, you know, trying to put some of the dishes away. He quietly grabs a dish towel starts to dry the dishes that I'm cleaning. And it just was pissing me off that he was there. And he went and got dressed and he can marry. He was like, I'm going to go to the grocery store, and I was like, you can't go to the grocery store. We didn't even make a list. I'm like so angry. At this point, He's like, well, I would like to go now. I don't mind going now. I want to do that before it gets too late because I want to watch some the football games today. And oh my god, that sentence through me, Oh, you want to go now when it's convenient for you, so you can watch football games, player, so you can have a good day again. All of my logic was turned off at this point. My emotional brain was just rereaking havoc all over the place. So sometime goes by. My friend ends up ordering me a bagel from another place down the road. That I actually wanted to go to it initially. And so we sit down and I'm like, I know I'm being a rational Patrick, but I would like to go to the grocery store together. I would like to make a list. It didn't happen this nicely. It took some more settling down of me, and I don't think I said it exactly this way, but the gist of what I said was, I want to make a list. I want to make a plan for the week for food, and then I want to go together, Like I want to go to the grocery store together. I don't want this to just be me going to the grocery store to get food for you and us, obviously, so you can sit home and watch football day, which is a whole other story. People out there whose partners love watching hours and hours and hours of football on the weekends. We're going to create a support group. But anyway, so then he's like, okay, I'll go to the store with you. It's fine, And I was like, okay, well, I have to wait for this bagel now that Kellen, my friend Kellen had got me, and I knew he was getting antsy because he's like, well, if we go get the bagel, and then what if you have to sit and talk to your friend, and then it's going to take us longer to the grocery store, and I want to get back by a certain point because I knew he was going to the grocery store to appease me, but he really wanted to be at home watching football. So we get in the car, we go to get the bagel, and I could just tell he didn't want to be there. So what I did then I gave nobody any solution to get out of this safely. So I said, I don't want you to go to the grocery store if you don't want to go to the grocery store with me. I don't want you to the grocery store with me if you would rather be at home watching football. He was like, well, I don't know what to tell you. I will go to the grocery store with you, but obviously I would rather be watching football. I said, then you then don't come. So I dropped him off to his car because his car was at a friend's house near my friend Kellen, who had got me the bagel. And I said, well, then you can't don't come with me. So he gets out of the car quietly, and then he comes over to the other side of the car and he taps on the window and I roll it down and he just says I love you, and I said I love you too, and I'm really mad at you right now. He was like, I don't know what you want me to do, and I said, well, you can't. You can't. I just want you to know that you can't win, because if you come with me and you're up, you're upset, then you don't want to be there. I'm going to be mad at you, and if you don't come with me, I'm also going to be mad at you. He was like, okay, well, I don't know what to do. I'm just gonna come with you. And I was like, okay, realizing in this moment, I'm making this worse, so I'm like, okay, just come with me. Whatever. So he actually drove the grocery store separately in his car, and then I drove in my car to the grocery store and I had some alone time to think, and I was like, Catherine, you know you're being a rational right now. You know in time, you're not going to feel this way. You have an opportunity to go grocery shopping with Patrick and have a good time and enjoy yourself, or you can be mean to him. Those are your options. And so I said, Okay, I'm going to apologize when I get there. I'm going to tell him I'm in a bad mood and I'm working on getting out of that bad mood, but I just can't snap out of it. It's going to take me a second. So I did that. He said, okay, we actually had a fine time at the grocery store. It wasn't the best time, but a fine time. So that was my day of It was literally probably from nine o'clock to probably one or two, where this bagel had just taken over my first day of the new year, and there was a lot of feelings. There were some tears in my eyes, and there was a lot of I wanted to laugh at myself, but I couldn't because then I would be mad at myself for laughing myself. So as I am recounting this experience later that day with friends, and I told the story on the fifth Thing with Amy Brown that evening, I started to remember and pull up the memories that because this is not an isolated event, and I started to remember a couple other times recently that this has happened, And there was one similar situation a couple months ago where Patrick had actually gotten up and gone to get me. I really wanted a power Aid slush. It just sounded so good to me. He went up and got me a poweried slush from Sonic. I ordered on the app. I downloaded the app just so I could order it and get a half price because side note pro tip if you order drinks on the app from Sonic happy hours all the time, so you can always get a half price drink, which is very clutch. So I ordered on the app. He got food. We probably would not have gotten food from Sonic because that's not my preferred breakfast food, although Sonic is so good. But I wanted powered slush, so that's what we did. So we went and got it, picked it up, he brought it to me. It was not a power aided slush. It was a huge power Aid and Patrick didn't understand what the big deal was. And I was like, I can't drink this, and also I don't want this. This is very different than what I wanted, and I could not get over it I again tears in my eyes. Was so upset. I actually went as far to writing a email to Sonic's customer service, and in the email it even said I wish I could pull it up. But in the meal, I told him what happened, like I ordered this and then I came home and this is what I got. And I do realize that this is not that big of a deal, and I am being a little bit dramatic, but I can't help it. And I just needed an outlet to share my feelings. I'm not even asking for anything. I just like wanted to tell somebody. They actually did give me a free drink, so it worked really in my favorite and Patrick also went back and got the actual drink and Sonics like five that's from our house. So that happened, and it was like so wild, like it's not again small potatoes. And then more recently than that, I think it was the end of the end of November or early December. I had gotten some Christmas pajamas for Patrick and I. I was doing some shopping and noticed that Old Navy had their Christmas pajamas out and I was like, oh, I got to get those now, because I know they sell out, and so I go and I'm trying to find a pattern that would appease both Patrick and I because he's more picky and I don't know if you would wear certain things that I would wear, and I wanted them to match, and then you had to find the same thing that had my size and his size. So I got these pajamas and I got home and I put them upstairs and I told them I have a surprise for you. They're upstairs. Go check it out. And my mom used to always do this, but she would give them to us on Christmas Eve, and I was gonna do that, but then I was like, wait, we could wear these pajamas all December and they can be like our Christmas pajamas. So we gets them and he's excited and we put them on later that night and he's like, just so you know, these aren't Christmas pajamas. And I was like, excuse me. He said, yeah, so I like these and I love them. Thank you for buying them for me, but these aren't Christmas pajamas. These are just pajamas. And they were the buffalo check, like black, like the plaid. It was just black and white. And when I tell you I lost again my mind. I lost my mind. I was so distraught I refused to put mine on. I actually put them back in the bag and said, well, you can return these because I'm not going to wear them anymore, and you now are responsible for going to find us Christmas pajamas because apparently I can't do that correctly. I mean, this is so outside of how I normally act. And then he went downstairs to I think we'll watch a movie or something. I think he thought I was coming, and I just got in bed and started reading my book and wouldn't go downstairs. And then a little later he came upstairs and he was like, I what is wrong? And I told him how said I was, and he apologized, and I just couldn't get over it. I said, I appreciate your apology and I do accept it, but I can't get over this and I'm not gonna be able to wear those pajamas, and so I do need you to return them. He was like, okay, I'm so sorry, and we'll get to more of that as we carry on, but before we do that, I actually thought it would be interesting to get Patrick. And for some of you, you know him as big p from when we talk about him on the Fifth Thing with Amy on her podcast Four Things with Amy Brown. I thought it'd be interesting to get his perspective on what he thought was going on and how he was feeling as these couple of events were happening, because, like I said, they're outside of my norm and they were very small things that set me off versus really big things. So I'm gonna go get Patrick and then we're going to talk to him really quick about this. I have Patrick here in the flesh. This is his You Need Therapy debut, This is his podcast debut, This is any other kind of debut having right now. Okay, all right, So how do you feel feel good? Okay? He feels good?

All right.

All right.

So I brought him here because I wanted before I went into the why and what was going on and what I discovered about my own feelings and behavior, I wanted you guys to get a perspective of what might the other person that's in that situation with you be thinking. And I'm also curious what he was thinking as well, just for myself. So we're going to start with this. The Bagel situation was not the first time that I've had a reaction to a small a seemingly small thing.

So I brought him here because I wanted before I went into the why and what was going on and what I discovered about my own feelings and behavior, I wanted you guys to get a perspective of what might the other person that's in that situation with you be thinking. And I'm also curious what he was thinking as well, just for myself. So we're going to start with this. The Bagel situation was not the first time that I've had a reaction to a small a seemingly small thing.

Oh no, no, no.

Oh no, no, no.

So I want to know what was going on in your head when I was initially upset about the bagel, because what I remember is I gave you your bagel, and you were so excited to eat it, and you got right into having Okay, so you're having your nice time over there, and then I was upset. And I don't even know in the beginning if you've realized how upset I was.

So I want to know what was going on in your head when I was initially upset about the bagel, because what I remember is I gave you your bagel, and you were so excited to eat it, and you got right into having Okay, so you're having your nice time over there, and then I was upset. And I don't even know in the beginning if you've realized how upset I was.

I mean, I feel like I can kind of see it on your face most of the time.

I mean, I feel like I can kind of see it on your face most of the time.

Now when you're looking at me, though I.

Now when you're looking at me, though I.

Was looking at the bagel. Yeah, I think I I could just feel your uh negative, yeah, just just radiating off of you.

Was looking at the bagel. Yeah, I think I I could just feel your uh negative, yeah, just just radiating off of you.

When you were eating your bagel, and I was mad. What were you thinking. Were you thinking she's being dramatic? Were you thinking like, oh shit, I don't know what to do.

When you were eating your bagel, and I was mad. What were you thinking. Were you thinking she's being dramatic? Were you thinking like, oh shit, I don't know what to do.

I knew it was an interesting situation already because of all the troubles you had to get to that bagel that morning, Thank you. I knew it was hard to that point in the day because of the journey you had to get there. Yes, what was this the second bagel? Place? That you had gone to.

I knew it was an interesting situation already because of all the troubles you had to get to that bagel that morning, Thank you. I knew it was hard to that point in the day because of the journey you had to get there. Yes, what was this the second bagel? Place? That you had gone to.

Yeah, and they're on opposite sides of town.

Yeah, and they're on opposite sides of town.

You were texting me. I could feel the negative energy through the phone. I guess.

You were texting me. I could feel the negative energy through the phone. I guess.

So you weren't thinking she's psychotic.

So you weren't thinking she's psychotic.

No, I mean psychotics not the right word. Now what I have acted that way? I would have been disappointed for sure, especially when you're you got to that point of like, okay, journey's over, I'm here with my bagel, yes, like the payoff is here, yeah, and then you open it up and it's not exactly as you've seen, not only not exactly as you've seen, something that you would not eat.

No, I mean psychotics not the right word. Now what I have acted that way? I would have been disappointed for sure, especially when you're you got to that point of like, okay, journey's over, I'm here with my bagel, yes, like the payoff is here, yeah, and then you open it up and it's not exactly as you've seen, not only not exactly as you've seen, something that you would not eat.

Oh yeah, I don't even think I said that earlier. A cream cheese grosses me out. So I couldn't just like scrape it off or be like, oh I didn't get I wanted, but I'll have this. I like was repulsed. So that was pretty upsetting. So that happens, and then the day goes on and we get into the situation where I'm trying to go to the grocery store and I want you to come, but I want you to want to come. You don't want to come, but you'll come, And I am putting you in a possible situation.

Oh yeah, I don't even think I said that earlier. A cream cheese grosses me out. So I couldn't just like scrape it off or be like, oh I didn't get I wanted, but I'll have this. I like was repulsed. So that was pretty upsetting. So that happens, and then the day goes on and we get into the situation where I'm trying to go to the grocery store and I want you to come, but I want you to want to come. You don't want to come, but you'll come, And I am putting you in a possible situation.

So at that point, well, and there's there's reasons behind that too. I you know, I like watching NFL football, and I was kind of getting excited for that part of the day where you know, the red zone countdown starts and you're ready to watch all the games and.

So at that point, well, and there's there's reasons behind that too. I you know, I like watching NFL football, and I was kind of getting excited for that part of the day where you know, the red zone countdown starts and you're ready to watch all the games and.

The Devil's TV Show.

The Devil's TV Show.

I had offered to go to the store get all the things we needed prior to this start of the games, but no, you were like, we want to do together, which is fine, which is good. I just wish we would have jumped on that opportunity earlier than when it got to eleven forty five in the games start at twelve.

I had offered to go to the store get all the things we needed prior to this start of the games, but no, you were like, we want to do together, which is fine, which is good. I just wish we would have jumped on that opportunity earlier than when it got to eleven forty five in the games start at twelve.

Left. I hate the red zone, okay, but were you not? I guess my thing what I'm thinking about is when you got out of the car and I was like, you're not coming with me? I want to know, because I very much knew that I was putting you on a possible situation. But were you still in that space of oh, I get why she's upset, or you like seriously.

Left. I hate the red zone, okay, but were you not? I guess my thing what I'm thinking about is when you got out of the car and I was like, you're not coming with me? I want to know, because I very much knew that I was putting you on a possible situation. But were you still in that space of oh, I get why she's upset, or you like seriously.

It was more about like I knew you were upset, and you had some valid reasons to be upset, and in my mind, it was like you know, it doesn't take much for me to spend a little time, take a little time out of what I was planning on doing, to make you feel better since you've already had a hard morning.

It was more about like I knew you were upset, and you had some valid reasons to be upset, and in my mind, it was like you know, it doesn't take much for me to spend a little time, take a little time out of what I was planning on doing, to make you feel better since you've already had a hard morning.

I also love that you were talking about having a hard morning, and it's really comes down to me getting the wrong bagel order. So I just want to remind everybody that was my hard morning. And I do realize that. So that's why I guess in my head, looking back on it, I would think that you would have been more annoyed of like seriously, like what the heck.

I also love that you were talking about having a hard morning, and it's really comes down to me getting the wrong bagel order. So I just want to remind everybody that was my hard morning. And I do realize that. So that's why I guess in my head, looking back on it, I would think that you would have been more annoyed of like seriously, like what the heck.

I mean again, I kind of sat back and assessed the situation, and I realized that, like I can give up some of the time. I knew I was probably gonna be watching football a good rest of the part of the day. So the fact that I could take a little bit of my time to make you feel better, it was something that you know I was willing to do.

I mean again, I kind of sat back and assessed the situation, and I realized that, like I can give up some of the time. I knew I was probably gonna be watching football a good rest of the part of the day. So the fact that I could take a little bit of my time to make you feel better, it was something that you know I was willing to do.

Okay, So my last question is what did you want to say that you were too afraid to say to me that day? And why would you have been afraid to say that? And I would want you to know I'm not going to be upset.

Okay, So my last question is what did you want to say that you were too afraid to say to me that day? And why would you have been afraid to say that? And I would want you to know I'm not going to be upset.

Okay, I thought you were just getting me in here.

Okay, I thought you were just getting me in here.

For get it on microphone.

For get it on microphone.

The initial reaction is, this isn't the biggest of deals, you know, kind of like we've been alluding to in this series. It is a bagel, It's a breakfast that went wrong that you know can be mended. But I also know that that was what you were you know, again, that was just represented something you were looking forward to after putting in the work too.

The initial reaction is, this isn't the biggest of deals, you know, kind of like we've been alluding to in this series. It is a bagel, It's a breakfast that went wrong that you know can be mended. But I also know that that was what you were you know, again, that was just represented something you were looking forward to after putting in the work too.

But why would you be afraid to actually just say that? Because I think a lot of I'm glad you say that, because I think a lot of people that is what actually gets in the way when these things come up, is there's something that likes Obviously it's not that big of a deal, and somebody calls that out and that's actually not help at all. Like if you were to say, Kat, it's just a bagel, it's not that big of a deal, I feel.

But why would you be afraid to actually just say that? Because I think a lot of I'm glad you say that, because I think a lot of people that is what actually gets in the way when these things come up, is there's something that likes Obviously it's not that big of a deal, and somebody calls that out and that's actually not help at all. Like if you were to say, Kat, it's just a bagel, it's not that big of a deal, I feel.

Like that's the I would on the moment you would have you would have not appreciated it, and maybe you would have appreciated it later on. Maybe it was that that immediate negative reaction that I was afraid of receiving. I guess if I would have said that also I'm not not great with my words. I'm a numbers guy, so coming out of my mouth it probably would have sounded even more insensitive to how you were feeling I guess certain situation.

Like that's the I would on the moment you would have you would have not appreciated it, and maybe you would have appreciated it later on. Maybe it was that that immediate negative reaction that I was afraid of receiving. I guess if I would have said that also I'm not not great with my words. I'm a numbers guy, so coming out of my mouth it probably would have sounded even more insensitive to how you were feeling I guess certain situation.

So could this be true that you didn't want to say that because you, knowing me, know that obviously I am not an irrational person, and so it was unnecessary and in time you could say that, But in the moment, obviously there would be something bigger going on if I was that upset over something so small.

So could this be true that you didn't want to say that because you, knowing me, know that obviously I am not an irrational person, and so it was unnecessary and in time you could say that, But in the moment, obviously there would be something bigger going on if I was that upset over something so small.

And yeah, I mean, I mean, I guess another way of saying it. You were actually really good at after a situation is transpired, sitting back and thinking about, you know, the way you fell in the actions you took, and thinking, hey, was that the right was that the appropriate reaction there? And you usually pretty spot on when you think about it again, so usually usually come to the correct answer sooner or later. So I didn't want to, I guess put you in a worse mood at that time, knowing that you're going to come back and write that, yeah.

And yeah, I mean, I mean, I guess another way of saying it. You were actually really good at after a situation is transpired, sitting back and thinking about, you know, the way you fell in the actions you took, and thinking, hey, was that the right was that the appropriate reaction there? And you usually pretty spot on when you think about it again, so usually usually come to the correct answer sooner or later. So I didn't want to, I guess put you in a worse mood at that time, knowing that you're going to come back and write that, yeah.

Okay, well I appreciate that that was a very good answer, And I want you guys to know that you guys know this from this whole episode and this whole podcast.

Okay, well I appreciate that that was a very good answer, And I want you guys to know that you guys know this from this whole episode and this whole podcast.

But I'm nowhere near perfect. So Patrick says that, and that's very kind. And I also sometimes I can't miss things.

But I'm nowhere near perfect. So Patrick says that, and that's very kind. And I also sometimes I can't miss things.

Yeah, I said you were good at it A great.

Yeah, I said you were good at it A great.

My god. Okay, is there anything else you would like to say?

My god. Okay, is there anything else you would like to say?

Thanks for having me on. I guess you're welcome. Well all the time listener, first time caller.

Thanks for having me on. I guess you're welcome. Well all the time listener, first time caller.

How long you've been listening?

How long you've been listening?

About a year?

About a year?

How long did I make you wait until you could listen to an episode?

How long did I make you wait until you could listen to an episode?

I don't know, but I definitely snuck a few in before you told me that, Doctor Patrick, you didn't tell me I couldn't specifically not listen. Maybe you did. I did say that, but maybe I don't know.

I don't know, but I definitely snuck a few in before you told me that, Doctor Patrick, you didn't tell me I couldn't specifically not listen. Maybe you did. I did say that, but maybe I don't know.

Before we missed.

Before we missed.

No, it was after, I mean think it was after the first or second day. It was was. Yeah, I listened to a couple.

No, it was after, I mean think it was after the first or second day. It was was. Yeah, I listened to a couple.

Which ones did you listen to?

Which ones did you listen to?

I mean the first one I listened to was like a relationship one?

I mean the first one I listened to was like a relationship one?

Oh?

Oh?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Was it me by myself?

Was it me by myself?

I was just trying to get some kind of.

I was just trying to get some kind of.

Idea of what you know, was it bout myself?

Idea of what you know, was it bout myself?

Yeah, there was a lot of personal stuff on there.

Yeah, there was a lot of personal stuff on there.

Wait, which one was it it was? I mean I did a Valentine's Day one and.

Wait, which one was it it was? I mean I did a Valentine's Day one and.

Maybe that's what it was. It was relationships in general, and like I remember talking about, like you know, looking for like a soul mat or a perfect person is like you take the things that like you find important most important, and you like prioritize those over you know, maybe you don't like this thing, you don't like that thing, but like does that outweigh kind of like you know, you're you're yeah, I think you were even saying, like you write a list of like the things you find important in like someone else and a potential partner, and it's like, well then you cross some of those off and you get down to like what are the most two, three or four maybe, and then you're like, you know, as long as they have these, I can live without these being perfect.