What do you say to a child who’s lost multiple loved ones and now lies awake, terrified of death? In this deeply compassionate episode, Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack why repeated loss can create overwhelming bedtime anxiety, why it peaks when the lights go out, and the simple, research-backed ways parents can help. You’ll learn how to create safety, connection, and rituals that bring comfort — without minimising their grief or making false promises.

KEY POINTS

• Multiple losses and cumulative grief 
• Why bedtime can trigger fears
• Connection and presence over quick fixes or false assurances
• Following your child’s lead
• How to create closure for your child

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
“What your child needs most isn’t for their fear to disappear — it’s to feel truly seen and understood in it.” – Dr Justin Coulson

RESOURCES

• Understanding Grief in Children - Sage Journals
• Studies on the default mode network and bedtime anxiety
• Helping Kids Cope with Grief - a Conversation with Kristy Thomas
• Cumulative Grief - Dr Bill Webster
• The Journey of the Default Mode Network: Development, Function, and Impact on Mental Health

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

1. Make bedtime a safe, calming ritual.
2. Be present in the moment.
3. Follow their emotional lead.
4. Use comfort objects.
5. Create closure rituals.