What do you say to a child who’s lost multiple loved ones and now lies awake, terrified of death? In this deeply compassionate episode, Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack why repeated loss can create overwhelming bedtime anxiety, why it peaks when the lights go out, and the simple, research-backed ways parents can help. You’ll learn how to create safety, connection, and rituals that bring comfort — without minimising their grief or making false promises.

KEY POINTS
Multiple losses and cumulative grief 
Why bedtime can trigger fears
Connection and presence over quick fixes or false assurances
Following your child’s lead
How to create closure for your child

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
 “What your child needs most isn’t for their fear to disappear — it’s to feel truly seen and understood in it.” – Dr Justin Coulson

RESOURCES
Understanding Grief in Children - Sage Journals
Studies on the default mode network and bedtime anxiety
Helping Kids Cope with Grief - a Conversation with Kristy Thomas
Cumulative Grief - Dr Bill Webster
The Journey of the Default Mode Network: Development, Function, and Impact on Mental Health

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Make bedtime a safe, calming ritual.
Be present in the moment.
Follow their emotional lead.
Use comfort objects.
Create closure rituals.

What do you say to a child who&rsquo;s lost multiple loved ones and now lies awake, terrified of death? In this deeply compassionate episode, Dr Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack why repeated loss can create overwhelming bedtime anxiety, why it peaks when the lights go out, and the simple, research-backed ways parents can help. You&rsquo;ll learn how to create safety, connection, and rituals that bring comfort &mdash; without minimising their grief or making false promises.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Multiple losses and cumulative grief&nbsp;</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why bedtime can trigger fears</li>
<li aria-level="1">Connection and presence over quick fixes or false assurances</li>
<li aria-level="1">Following your child&rsquo;s lead</li>
<li aria-level="1">How to create closure for your child</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE &ldquo;What your child needs most isn&rsquo;t for their fear to disappear &mdash; it&rsquo;s to feel truly seen and understood in it.&rdquo; &ndash; Dr Justin Coulson
RESOURCES
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/09731342251328150#:~:text=A%20longitudinal%20study%20of%20bereaved,death%2C%20after%20which%20they%20resolved">Understanding Grief in Children</a> - Sage Journals</li>
<li aria-level="1">Studies on the default mode network and bedtime anxiety</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/701-kristy-thomas-helping-kids-cope-with-grief">Helping Kids Cope with Grief </a>- a Conversation with Kristy Thomas</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://griefjourney.com/article-library/cumulative-grief/">Cumulative Grief </a>- Dr Bill Webster</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2079-7737/14/4/395">The Journey of the Default Mode Network: Development, Function, and Impact on Mental Health</a></li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Make bedtime a safe, calming ritual.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Be present in the moment.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Follow their emotional lead.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Use comfort objects.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Create closure rituals.</li>
</ol>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Supporting a Grieving, Anxious Child

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/7d674705-15ad-4231-84e2-b3380085b94f/transcript

Stop trying to control other people's moods, opinions, and behaviours - it's exhausting and impossible. Instead, try Mel Robbins' revolutionary "Let Them Theory" which teaches two simple words - "let them" - to reclaim your power and energy.

When you stop obsessing over what others think or do, you finally focus on what matters: your own life. But that's only half the equation. The crucial second step is saying "let me" take action on what I CAN control.

Quote of the Episode:

"The truth is other people hold no real power over you unless you give it to them." - Mel Robbins

Key Points:
The Let Them Theory consists of two parts: "let them" (accepting what others do) and "let me" (choosing your own response).
When you stop trying to manage other people's emotions and behaviours, you reclaim your energy.
"Let them" doesn't mean being a doormat—it means acknowledging you can't control others.
Your happiness is tied to your actions, not someone else's behaviour, opinions, or moods.
Hacking your stress response by saying "let them" and taking a breath interrupts your reactivity.
Trying to please everyone typically results in pleasing no one and exhausting yourself.
The method works for handling difficult colleagues, judgmental family members, and stressful situations.
This approach is primarily for adult relationships, not parenting young children who need guidance.
Setting boundaries is still important—"let them" doesn't mean accepting harmful behaviour.
People-pleasing often leaves you feeling empty and unappreciated despite your best efforts.

Resources Mentioned:
"The Let Them Theory" by Mel Robbins (New York Times bestseller)
Mel Robbins Podcast 
Happy Families website

Action Steps for Parents:
Next time someone upsets you, say "let them" silently to yourself, then take a deep breath
Follow with "let me" and choose a response that serves your wellbeing
Identify one relationship where you're trying too hard to please someone and practice letting go
Accept that someone will always be disappointed by your decisions—and that's okay
Remember that while you can "let them" with adults, parenting requires appropriate guidance and boundaries with children

Stop trying to control other people's moods, opinions, and behaviours - it's exhausting and impossible. Instead, try Mel Robbins' revolutionary "Let Them Theory" which teaches two simple words - "let them" - to reclaim your power and energy.
When you stop obsessing over what others think or do, you finally focus on what matters: your own life. But that's only half the equation. The crucial second step is saying "let me" take action on what I CAN control.
Quote of the Episode:
"The truth is other people hold no real power over you unless you give it to them." - Mel Robbins
Key Points:
<ul>
<li>The Let Them Theory consists of two parts: "let them" (accepting what others do) and "let me" (choosing your own response).</li>
<li>When you stop trying to manage other people's emotions and behaviours, you reclaim your energy.</li>
<li>"Let them" doesn't mean being a doormat&mdash;it means acknowledging you can't control others.</li>
<li>Your happiness is tied to your actions, not someone else's behaviour, opinions, or moods.</li>
<li>Hacking your stress response by saying "let them" and taking a breath interrupts your reactivity.</li>
<li>Trying to please everyone typically results in pleasing no one and exhausting yourself.</li>
<li>The method works for handling difficult colleagues, judgmental family members, and stressful situations.</li>
<li>This approach is primarily for adult relationships, not parenting young children who need guidance.</li>
<li>Setting boundaries is still important&mdash;"let them" doesn't mean accepting harmful behaviour.</li>
<li>People-pleasing often leaves you feeling empty and unappreciated despite your best efforts.</li>
</ul>
Resources Mentioned:
<ul>
<li>"The Let Them Theory" by Mel Robbins (New York Times bestseller)</li>
<li><a href="https://www.melrobbins.com/podcast?gad_source=1&amp;gbraid=0AAAAApAMQlh21uWSauBKfuiGwl_KTxtpR&amp;gclid=Cj0KCQjw1um-BhDtARIsABjU5x68LJ4NRBsCYl3Pn1ELj8dpmXaFZdXg-jnB2teYwS4y44oYqa0Glx8aAn-aEALw_wcB">Mel Robbins Podcast </a></li>
<li><a href="happyfamilies.com.au">Happy Families website</a></li>
</ul>
Action Steps for Parents:
<ol>
<li>Next time someone upsets you, say "let them" silently to yourself, then take a deep breath</li>
<li>Follow with "let me" and choose a response that serves your wellbeing</li>
<li>Identify one relationship where you're trying too hard to please someone and practice letting go</li>
<li>Accept that someone will always be disappointed by your decisions&mdash;and that's okay</li>
<li>Remember that while you can "let them" with adults, parenting requires appropriate guidance and boundaries with children</li>
</ol>

 Let Them: The Two Words That Will Set You Free [R]

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/b3257880-4fe8-4891-83b5-b41900ab9d97/transcript

A viral trend called “FAFO parenting” is exploding on TikTok and even making headlines in the Wall Street Journal. Advocates say it’s the antidote to “soft” parenting — let kids fuss around and find out the hard way. But is this tough-love comeback really preparing kids for life or setting them up for harm? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the hype, the dangers, and the research-backed alternative every parent needs to hear.

In this episode:
What FAFO (“Fuss Around and Find Out”) parenting actually looks like — and why it’s trending
The three big claims FAFO parents make
Why FAFO backfires
The vital difference between natural consequences and manufactured hardships
How “need-supportive parenting” builds resilience without breaking trust

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
 “Discipline isn’t about hurting kids to prove a point. It’s about problem-solving so they can discover the lesson.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Wall Street Journal article on FAFO parenting (subscription required)
Alfie Kohn, Punished by Rewards
More parenting resources: happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Resist the temptation to outsource learning to punishment.
When mistakes happen, guide your child through problem-solving instead of powerplays.
Protect the parent–child relationship — resilience grows best where trust is strong.

A viral trend called &ldquo;FAFO parenting&rdquo; is exploding on TikTok and even making headlines in the&nbsp;Wall Street Journal. Advocates say it&rsquo;s the antidote to &ldquo;soft&rdquo; parenting &mdash; let kids fuss around and find out the hard way. But is this tough-love comeback really preparing kids for life or setting them up for harm? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the hype, the dangers, and the research-backed alternative every parent needs to hear.
In this episode:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">What FAFO (&ldquo;Fuss Around and Find Out&rdquo;) parenting actually looks like &mdash; and why it&rsquo;s trending</li>
<li aria-level="1">The three big claims FAFO parents make</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why FAFO backfires</li>
<li aria-level="1">The vital difference between natural consequences and manufactured hardships</li>
<li aria-level="1">How &ldquo;need-supportive parenting&rdquo; builds resilience without breaking trust</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE &ldquo;Discipline isn&rsquo;t about hurting kids to prove a point. It&rsquo;s about problem-solving so they can discover the lesson.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://apple.news/AeXVDFVY5S_yUOFWbtqpHGA">Wall Street Journal article</a> on FAFO parenting (subscription required)</li>
<li aria-level="1">Alfie Kohn, Punished by Rewards</li>
<li aria-level="1">More parenting resources: <a href="happyfamilies.com.au">happyfamilies.com.au</a></li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Resist the temptation to outsource learning to punishment.</li>
<li aria-level="1">When mistakes happen, guide your child through problem-solving instead of powerplays.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Protect the parent&ndash;child relationship &mdash; resilience grows best where trust is strong.</li>
</ol>

Is FAFO the End of Gentle Parenting? [R]

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/19033979-3671-4218-b05b-b41900ab6e7e/transcript

You’re asking for help… and your teenage son flat-out refuses.

It feels disrespectful. Lazy. Even personal.

But what if you’re fighting the wrong battle?

In this episode, we unpack what’s really going on inside your teenage boy’s brain—and why even good, kind kids can suddenly seem entitled, unhelpful, and impossible to motivate.

This shift in perspective could completely change how you respond… and finally get you the cooperation you’ve been craving.

KEY POINTS
Teen boys aren’t ignoring you—they’re battling competing brain drives
Empathy temporarily drops during adolescence (yes, really)
Entitlement vs empathy is a real internal tug-of-war
Saying “no” gives teens a powerful (but short-lived) sense of control
Most resistance is a connection problem, not a discipline problem
More rules won’t fix it—but stronger connection might
The best discipline isn’t punishment—it’s collaborative problem-solving

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Inside your teenage boy’s brain, entitlement is pinning empathy to the mat—and winning.”

RESOURCES
The Teenage Brain - Happy Families
Developmental Milestones [Part 5: Adolescence] - Happy Families

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Prioritise connection before correction (always)
Rebuild your relationship through small, consistent moments
Hold regular family conversations—not lectures
Use the “3 E’s”: explore, explain, empower
Give autonomy where you can to reduce pushback
When needed, be clear, calm, and direct
Focus on solving the problem together—not winning the moment

 

You&rsquo;re asking for help&hellip; and your teenage son flat-out refuses.
It feels disrespectful. Lazy. Even personal.
But what if you&rsquo;re fighting the wrong battle?
In this episode, we unpack what&rsquo;s really going on inside your teenage boy&rsquo;s brain&mdash;and why even good, kind kids can suddenly seem entitled, unhelpful, and impossible to motivate.
This shift in perspective could completely change how you respond&hellip; and finally get you the cooperation you&rsquo;ve been craving.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Teen boys aren&rsquo;t ignoring you&mdash;they&rsquo;re battling competing brain drives</li>
<li aria-level="1">Empathy temporarily drops during adolescence (yes, really)</li>
<li aria-level="1">Entitlement vs empathy is a real internal tug-of-war</li>
<li aria-level="1">Saying &ldquo;no&rdquo; gives teens a powerful (but short-lived) sense of control</li>
<li aria-level="1">Most resistance is a connection problem, not a discipline problem</li>
<li aria-level="1">More rules won&rsquo;t fix it&mdash;but stronger connection might</li>
<li aria-level="1">The best discipline isn&rsquo;t punishment&mdash;it&rsquo;s collaborative problem-solving</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Inside your teenage boy&rsquo;s brain, entitlement is pinning empathy to the mat&mdash;and winning.&rdquo;
RESOURCES
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/articles/the-teenage-brain">The Teenage Brain - Happy Families</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/articles/developmental-milestones-part-5">Developmental Milestones [Part 5: Adolescence] - Happy Families</a></li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Prioritise connection before correction (always)</li>
<li aria-level="1">Rebuild your relationship through small, consistent moments</li>
<li aria-level="1">Hold regular family conversations&mdash;not lectures</li>
<li aria-level="1">Use the &ldquo;3 E&rsquo;s&rdquo;: explore, explain, empower</li>
<li aria-level="1">Give autonomy where you can to reduce pushback</li>
<li aria-level="1">When needed, be clear, calm, and direct</li>
<li aria-level="1">Focus on solving the problem together&mdash;not winning the moment</li>
</ul>
&nbsp;

Inside the Brain of Your Teenage Boy [R]

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/dc4d0732-2ccc-4ee9-b7a3-b41900ab4181/transcript

Supporting a Grieving, Anxious Child

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