A viral trend called “FAFO parenting” is exploding on TikTok and even making headlines in the Wall Street Journal. Advocates say it’s the antidote to “soft” parenting — let kids fuss around and find out the hard way. But is this tough-love comeback really preparing kids for life or setting them up for harm? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the hype, the dangers, and the research-backed alternative every parent needs to hear.

In this episode:
What FAFO (“Fuss Around and Find Out”) parenting actually looks like — and why it’s trending
The three big claims FAFO parents make
Why FAFO backfires
The vital difference between natural consequences and manufactured hardships
How “need-supportive parenting” builds resilience without breaking trust

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
 “Discipline isn’t about hurting kids to prove a point. It’s about problem-solving so they can discover the lesson.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Wall Street Journal article on FAFO parenting (subscription required)
Alfie Kohn, Punished by Rewards
More parenting resources: happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Resist the temptation to outsource learning to punishment.
When mistakes happen, guide your child through problem-solving instead of powerplays.
Protect the parent–child relationship — resilience grows best where trust is strong.

A viral trend called &ldquo;FAFO parenting&rdquo; is exploding on TikTok and even making headlines in the&nbsp;Wall Street Journal. Advocates say it&rsquo;s the antidote to &ldquo;soft&rdquo; parenting &mdash; let kids fuss around and find out the hard way. But is this tough-love comeback really preparing kids for life or setting them up for harm? In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the hype, the dangers, and the research-backed alternative every parent needs to hear.
In this episode:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">What FAFO (&ldquo;Fuss Around and Find Out&rdquo;) parenting actually looks like &mdash; and why it&rsquo;s trending</li>
<li aria-level="1">The three big claims FAFO parents make</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why FAFO backfires</li>
<li aria-level="1">The vital difference between natural consequences and manufactured hardships</li>
<li aria-level="1">How &ldquo;need-supportive parenting&rdquo; builds resilience without breaking trust</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE &ldquo;Discipline isn&rsquo;t about hurting kids to prove a point. It&rsquo;s about problem-solving so they can discover the lesson.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://apple.news/AeXVDFVY5S_yUOFWbtqpHGA">Wall Street Journal article</a> on FAFO parenting (subscription required)</li>
<li aria-level="1">Alfie Kohn, Punished by Rewards</li>
<li aria-level="1">More parenting resources: <a href="happyfamilies.com.au">happyfamilies.com.au</a></li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Resist the temptation to outsource learning to punishment.</li>
<li aria-level="1">When mistakes happen, guide your child through problem-solving instead of powerplays.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Protect the parent&ndash;child relationship &mdash; resilience grows best where trust is strong.</li>
</ol>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Is FAFO the End of Gentle Parenting or Just the Start of Bigger Problems?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/5ef4d84f-e5e9-458e-9819-b33c00cc97cc/transcript

Some books entertain.
Some books inform.
And then there are books that unsettle you—and quietly change how you see the world, your kids, and the systems shaping their lives.

In this episode, Kylie and I step away from parenting advice (just briefly) to share the books that mattered most to us in 2025. These aren’t light beach reads. They’re confronting, provocative, and deeply relevant for parents raising children in a digital, diagnosed, distracted world.

If you love books—and you care about the future your kids are growing up in—this one stays with you.

Books & Resources Mentioned
Boys — Dr Justin Coulson (join the waitlist to learn more!)
Careless People — Sarah Wynn-Williams
Searching for Normal — Sami Timimi
Essentialism — Greg McKeown
The Let Them Theory — Mel Robbins
A Thousand Wasted Sundays — Victoria Vanstone
Mumming — Victoria Vanstone
1984 — George Orwell
Lonesome Dove — Larry McMurtry
A Gentleman in Moscow — Amor Towles
Greenlights — Matthew McConaughey
Parenting ADHD [The Course]
My 8 Favourite Books in 2025 [Article]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Choose one book this year that challenges your assumptions—not just your habits
Notice what makes you uncomfortable while reading—and sit with it
Talk with your partner or teen about what you’re noticing in tech, mental health, and culture
Remember: protecting kids starts with seeing the systems shaping them

Some books entertain. Some books inform. And then there are books that unsettle you&mdash;and quietly change how you see the world, your kids, and the systems shaping their lives.
In this episode, Kylie and I step away from parenting advice (just briefly) to share the books that mattered most to us in 2025. These aren&rsquo;t light beach reads. They&rsquo;re confronting, provocative, and deeply relevant for parents raising children in a digital, diagnosed, distracted world.
If you love books&mdash;and you care about the future your kids are growing up in&mdash;this one stays with you.
Books &amp; Resources Mentioned
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Boys &mdash; Dr Justin Coulson (<a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/boys-book-waitlist">join the waitlist </a>to learn more!)</li>
<li aria-level="1">Careless People &mdash; Sarah Wynn-Williams</li>
<li aria-level="1">Searching for Normal &mdash; Sami Timimi</li>
<li aria-level="1">Essentialism &mdash; Greg McKeown</li>
<li aria-level="1">The Let Them Theory &mdash; Mel Robbins</li>
<li aria-level="1">A Thousand Wasted Sundays &mdash; Victoria Vanstone</li>
<li aria-level="1">Mumming &mdash; Victoria Vanstone</li>
<li aria-level="1">1984 &mdash; George Orwell</li>
<li aria-level="1">Lonesome Dove &mdash; Larry McMurtry</li>
<li aria-level="1">A Gentleman in Moscow &mdash; Amor Towles</li>
<li aria-level="1">Greenlights &mdash; Matthew McConaughey</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/parenting-adhd-the-course">Parenting ADHD [The Course]</a></li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/my-8-favourite-books-in-2025">My 8 Favourite Books in 2025</a> [Article]</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Choose one book this year that challenges your assumptions&mdash;not just your habits</li>
<li aria-level="1">Notice what makes you uncomfortable while reading&mdash;and sit with it</li>
<li aria-level="1">Talk with your partner or teen about what you&rsquo;re noticing in tech, mental health, and culture</li>
<li aria-level="1">Remember: protecting kids starts with seeing the systems shaping them</li>
</ul>

The Best Books We Read in 2025

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/63333a78-395b-4abb-8c88-b3d600cec4dc/transcript

Every cry feels urgent. Every opinion feels loud. But what if responding faster isn’t always better?

New research reveals something surprising: being responsive matters—but being too responsive might actually make things harder for your baby (and you). In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson breaks down a powerful cross-cultural study that challenges popular parenting advice and explains what truly helps babies learn to calm themselves—without neglect, guilt, or extremes.

If you’ve ever felt anxious about every sound your baby makes, this episode will change how you listen.

KEY POINTS
Why faster responses don’t always mean faster soothing
What a UK–Uganda study reveals about infant self-regulation
The difference between responsiveness and over-responsiveness
How parental anxiety transfers directly to babies
Why how you respond matters as much as when you respond

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Being responsive helps babies feel safe—but being over-responsive can stop them learning how to soothe themselves.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Research published in Developmental Psychology
British Psychological Society (BPS)
10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know –by Dr Justin Coulson
HappyFamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Pause before responding—notice the level of distress
Respond quickly to real distress, not every murmur
Calm yourself first—your baby borrows your nervous system
Trust that small pauses can build self-soothing skills
Let go of “perfect” responses and aim for attuned ones

Every cry feels urgent. Every opinion feels loud. But what if responding faster isn&rsquo;t always better?
New research reveals something surprising: being responsive matters&mdash;but being too responsive might actually make things harder for your baby (and you). In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson breaks down a powerful cross-cultural study that challenges popular parenting advice and explains what truly helps babies learn to calm themselves&mdash;without neglect, guilt, or extremes.
If you&rsquo;ve ever felt anxious about every sound your baby makes, this episode will change how you listen.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why faster responses don&rsquo;t always mean faster soothing</li>
<li aria-level="1">What a UK&ndash;Uganda study reveals about infant self-regulation</li>
<li aria-level="1">The difference between responsiveness and over-responsiveness</li>
<li aria-level="1">How parental anxiety transfers directly to babies</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why how you respond matters as much as when you respond</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Being responsive helps babies feel safe&mdash;but being over-responsive can stop them learning how to soothe themselves.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Research published in <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/dev0002038">Developmental Psychology</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">British Psychological Society (BPS)</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/10-things-every-parent-needs-to-know">10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know</a> &ndash;by Dr Justin Coulson</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="HappyFamilies.com.au">HappyFamilies.com.au</a></li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Pause before responding&mdash;notice the level of distress</li>
<li aria-level="1">Respond quickly to real distress, not every murmur</li>
<li aria-level="1">Calm yourself first&mdash;your baby borrows your nervous system</li>
<li aria-level="1">Trust that small pauses can build self-soothing skills</li>
<li aria-level="1">Let go of &ldquo;perfect&rdquo; responses and aim for&nbsp;attuned ones</li>
</ul>

What Crying Babies Actually Need from Us

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/65fb4f7e-1503-4c00-897a-b3d600ce9e03/transcript

The new social media minimum-age laws have landed — and parents are feeling everything from relief to rage. Eight weeks in, are our kids safer… or has nothing changed? In this episode, Justin Coulson unpacks what’s working, what’s failing, and the 3 essential things families must do now to navigate the digital world without losing connection.

KEY POINTS
Why the ban isn’t about cutting friendships — it’s about removing algorithmic manipulation from kids’ brains
What big tech didn’t see coming (and why they’re closing youth accounts fast)
The unexpected wins for kids: less anxiety, more freedom, real play
The losses: platform migration, VPNs, fake ages, and parent-enabled workarounds
Why this is a parent problem, not just a kid problem
The 3 actions every family needs to take now

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“We’re not banning friendships. We’re protecting kids from big tech systems designed to manipulate their brains.”

 RESOURCES
GMee Phone (parental control phone)
Rebecca Sparrow's free resource for parents: Beginner phones
Landline/feature phones as alternative communication strategies
Face-to-face play and offline gaming suggestions

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
 Have the WHY conversation — Kids don’t comply with “because I said so.” Explain algorithms, manipulation, and wellbeing.
2. Offer real alternatives — Phones without cameras, offline gaming, playdates, landlines, outdoor time.
3. Model digital discipline — If parents doom-scroll, kids will too. Show healthy device habits.

LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE IF:
You’re confused or frustrated by the social media ban
Your child is begging for social media access
You want safer digital habits without isolating kids
You want less anxiety, more connection, and more play

The new social media minimum-age laws have landed &mdash; and parents are feeling everything from relief to rage. Eight weeks in, are our kids safer&hellip; or has nothing changed? In this episode, Justin Coulson unpacks what&rsquo;s working, what&rsquo;s failing, and the 3 essential things families must do now to navigate the digital world without losing connection.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why the ban isn&rsquo;t about cutting friendships &mdash; it&rsquo;s about removing algorithmic manipulation from kids&rsquo; brains</li>
<li aria-level="1">What big tech didn&rsquo;t see coming (and why they&rsquo;re closing youth accounts fast)</li>
<li aria-level="1">The unexpected wins for kids: less anxiety, more freedom, real play</li>
<li aria-level="1">The losses: platform migration, VPNs, fake ages, and parent-enabled workarounds</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why this is a parent problem, not just a kid problem</li>
<li aria-level="1">The 3 actions every family needs to take now</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;We&rsquo;re not banning friendships. We&rsquo;re protecting kids from big tech systems designed to manipulate their brains.&rdquo;
&nbsp;RESOURCES
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://au.g-mee.com/">GMee Phone</a> (parental control phone)</li>
<li aria-level="1">Rebecca Sparrow's free resource for parents:&nbsp;<a href="https://rebeccasparrow.com/beginner-phones/">Beginner phones</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Landline/feature phones as alternative communication strategies</li>
<li aria-level="1">Face-to-face play and offline gaming suggestions</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li> Have the WHY conversation &mdash; Kids don&rsquo;t comply with &ldquo;because I said so.&rdquo; Explain algorithms, manipulation, and wellbeing. 2. Offer real alternatives &mdash; Phones without cameras, offline gaming, playdates, landlines, outdoor time. 3. Model digital discipline &mdash; If parents doom-scroll, kids will too. Show healthy device habits.</li>
</ol>
LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE IF:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">You&rsquo;re confused or frustrated by the social media ban</li>
<li aria-level="1">Your child is begging for social media access</li>
<li aria-level="1">You want safer digital habits without isolating kids</li>
<li aria-level="1">You want less anxiety, more connection, and more play</li>
</ul>

How The Social Media Ban is Going

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/02e02092-a51f-492f-8938-b3d600ce45c0/transcript

Is FAFO the End of Gentle Parenting or Just the Start of Bigger Problems?

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