Professor Thomas Curran is (among many impressive titles) a 'perfectionist expert'. He unpacks the 'what, why, where, who, and how' of perfectionism in part 1 of this compelling discussion with Dr Justin Coulson. Part 2 of this conversation can be found here.

Today's conversation covers:
What is perfectionism?
The link between mental health challenges and perfectionism
Perfectionism in children - genetics or environmental?
The 3 types of perfectionism
Intergenerational transmission of perfectionistic tendencies
The challenging cycle of self-defeat
The Perfection Trap Thomas Curran's new book
TEDMED - Our dangerous obsession with perfectionism is getting worse



Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au

Professor Thomas Curran is (among many impressive titles) a 'perfectionist expert'. He unpacks the 'what, why, where, who, and how' of perfectionism in part 1 of this compelling discussion with Dr Justin Coulson. Part 2 of this conversation can be found <a href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/892-the-perfection-trap-with-thomas-curran-part-2" data-cke-saved-href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/892-the-perfection-trap-with-thomas-curran-part-2">here</a>.
Today's conversation covers:
<ul>
<li>What is perfectionism?</li>
<li>The link between mental health challenges and perfectionism</li>
<li>Perfectionism in children - genetics or environmental?</li>
<li>The 3 types of perfectionism</li>
<li>Intergenerational transmission of perfectionistic tendencies</li>
<li>The challenging cycle of self-defeat</li>
<li><a href="https://www.booktopia.com.au/the-perfection-trap-thomas-curran/book/9781982149536.html">The Perfection Trap</a> Thomas Curran's new book</li>
<li><a href="https://www.tedmed.com/talks/show?id=731050">TEDMED - Our dangerous obsession with perfectionism is getting worse</a></li>
</ul>
 
Find us on Facebook at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/happyfamilies.au/">Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families</a>
Email us your questions and comments at <a href="mailto:podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au">podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au</a>

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#891 The Perfection Trap with Thomas Curran (Part 1)

It has been 9 months of homeschooling for the Coulson crew, with plenty of ups and downs and many lessons learned. One of those lessons is that homeschool is not and cannot just be "school at home". When a child is struggling in a school setting, taking them out of that environment only to set up the same structures and lessons at home doesn't change the challenges that your child is experiencing! 

In this episode:


Resilient Kids Conference - (recording available)


Help, hug, or space?
When school isn't working
Homeschooling is not school at home
Letting go of expectations/perceptions
Self-directed learning
Autonomy
Exercise - cycling, swimming
Working from home
Setting boundaries
Steven Covey's "Big Rocks of Life" analogy
The overwhelm of to-do lists

Related links: 
Taking the Pressure Off
School Refusal

.

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

It has been 9 months of homeschooling for the Coulson crew, with plenty of ups and downs and many lessons learned. One of those lessons is that homeschool is not and cannot just be "school at home". When a child is struggling in a school setting, taking them out of that environment only to set up the same structures and lessons at home doesn't change the challenges that your child is experiencing! 
In this episode:
<ul>
<li>
<a href="https://michellemitchell.org/resilient-kids-conference/">Resilient Kids Conference</a> - <a href="https://michellemitchell.org/shop/resilient-kids-conference-online-stream-from-sydney-conference/">(recording available)</a>
</li>
<li>
Help, hug, or space?
</li>
<li>When school isn't working</li>
<li>Homeschooling is not school at home</li>
<li>Letting go of expectations/perceptions</li>
<li>Self-directed learning</li>
<li>Autonomy</li>
<li>Exercise - cycling, swimming</li>
<li>Working from home</li>
<li>Setting boundaries</li>
<li>Steven Covey's "<a href="https://www.appleseeds.org//big-rocks_covey.htm">Big Rocks of Life</a>" analogy</li>
<li>The overwhelm of to-do lists</li>
</ul>
Related links: 
<ul>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/taking-the-pressure-off">Taking the Pressure Off</a></li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/school-refusal">School Refusal</a></li>
</ul>
.
Doors are now open to the <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/membership">Happy Families Membership</a> 
NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print &amp; Play’ subscription <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/felt-subscription">FELT</a> (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)
Find us on<a href="https://www.facebook.com/happyfamilies.au/"> Facebook</a> or <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@happyfamiliesau">TikTok</a>
Subscribe to the Happy Families <a href="https://happyfamiliesfamilyeducation.activehosted.com/f/40">newsletter</a>

#1042 - Work & Home School Life Balance

Devices can calm our emotional children - but does a screen actually help them to emotionally regulate or is it just distracting them from their emotions in the heat of the moment? Are there long term consequences to letting screens "manage" a child's emotions?

We also talk about a controversial topic - using "screen-time" as a reward! There is an important connection between screen use and children's executive function and emotional regulation, and it's not good news!

In this episode:
Your words have power:  @always.upper.elementary
Toothpaste Words: The most important back to school lesson you can do
Should we comment on someone's appearance?
Cure for tantrums? Longitudinal associations between parental digital emotion regulation and children's self-regulatory skills
Using devices as digital pacifiers
Frustration tolerance
Unplug Childhood: Join the village, sign the petition


#1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation


Tolerable discomfort
Resilience


Associations between media parenting practices and early adolescent screen use


Social media


Using screens as punishment or reward leads to higher screen use
Alfie Kohn, author of 'Punished by Rewards'
Positive/negative reinforcement
The most important "app" for our children

Related links: 
Unplugging Parenthood
#137 Punishment & Rewards with Alfie Kohn

.

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

Devices can calm our emotional children - but does a screen actually help them to emotionally regulate or is it just distracting them from their emotions in the heat of the moment? Are there long term consequences to letting screens "manage" a child's emotions?
We also talk about a controversial topic - using "screen-time" as a reward! There is an important connection between screen use and children's executive function and emotional regulation, and it's not good news!
In this episode:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C8U_Fv2yQJy/">Your words have power: </a> @always.upper.elementary</li>
<li><a href="https://www.mrsoknows.com/2018/07/toothpaste-words-most-important-back-to.html">Toothpaste Words: The most important back to school lesson you can do</a></li>
<li>Should we comment on someone's appearance?</li>
<li><a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/child-and-adolescent-psychiatry/articles/10.3389/frcha.2024.1276154/full">Cure for tantrums? Longitudinal associations between parental digital emotion regulation and children's self-regulatory skills</a></li>
<li>Using devices as digital pacifiers</li>
<li>Frustration tolerance</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/unplugchildhood-org">Unplug Childhood</a>: Join the village, sign the petition</li>
<li>
<a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/1038-managing-emotional-dysregulation">#1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation</a>
</li>
<li>
Tolerable discomfort
</li>
<li>Resilience</li>
<li>
<a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41390-024-03243-y">Associations between media parenting practices and early adolescent screen use</a>
</li>
<li>
<a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41390-024-03243-y"></a>Social media
</li>
<li>
Using screens as punishment or reward leads to higher screen use
</li>
<li>Alfie Kohn, author of 'Punished by Rewards'</li>
<li>Positive/negative reinforcement</li>
<li>The most important "app" for our children</li>
</ul>
Related links: 
<ul>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/unplugging-parenthood">Unplugging Parenthood</a></li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/137-punishment-rewards-with-alfie-kohn">#137 Punishment &amp; Rewards with Alfie Kohn</a></li>
</ul>
.
Doors are now open to the <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/membership">Happy Families Membership</a> 
NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print &amp; Play’ subscription <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/felt-subscription">FELT</a> (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)
Find us on<a href="https://www.facebook.com/happyfamilies.au/"> Facebook</a> or <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@happyfamiliesau">TikTok</a>
Subscribe to the Happy Families <a href="https://happyfamiliesfamilyeducation.activehosted.com/f/40">newsletter</a>

#1041 - Screens Suck

Our goal as parents is to raise good humans, but sometimes we actually get in the way of doing that! Beck Delahoy shares three things parents can do to move away from centuries of unhelpful patterns to a better way of parenting.

In this episode:
Lessons Learned | Beck Delahoy | Substack
John B. Watson - 1920's behaviourist
What do we want to do as parents to raise good humans?

teaching thoughts, values, feelings, acceptable behaviour
History of parenting
Long-term consequences of punishment/reward

Calculation of Risks
Blind Conformity
Revolt
Fostering acceptable behaviour
Moral development
Building emotional regulation

Related links: 
The Secret to Regulating Emotions
Punishment, Rewards, & Other Disciplinary Mistakes

.

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

Our goal as parents is to raise good humans, but sometimes we actually get in the way of doing that! Beck Delahoy shares three things parents can do to move away from centuries of unhelpful patterns to a better way of parenting.
In this episode:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://beckdelahoy.substack.com">Lessons Learned | Beck Delahoy | Substack</a></li>
<li><a href="https://iastate.pressbooks.pub/parentingfamilydiversity/chapter/watson/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CGive%20me%20a%20dozen%20healthy,regardless%20of%20his%20talents%2C%20penchants%2C">John B. Watson - 1920's behaviourist</a></li>
<li>What do we want to do as parents to raise good humans?
<ul>
<li>teaching thoughts, values, feelings, acceptable behaviour</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>History of parenting</li>
<li>Long-term consequences of punishment/reward
<ul>
<li>Calculation of Risks</li>
<li>Blind Conformity</li>
<li>Revolt</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Fostering acceptable behaviour</li>
<li>Moral development</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/membership">Building emotional regulation</a> </li>
</ul>
Related links: 
<ul>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/the-secret-to-regulating-emotions">The Secret to Regulating Emotions</a></li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/punishment-reward-and-other-disciplinary-mistakes">Punishment, Rewards, &amp; Other Disciplinary Mistakes</a></li>
</ul>
.
Doors are now open to the <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/membership">Happy Families Membership</a> 
NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print &amp; Play’ subscription <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/felt-subscription">FELT</a> (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)
Find us on<a href="https://www.facebook.com/happyfamilies.au/"> Facebook</a> or <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@happyfamiliesau">TikTok</a>
Subscribe to the Happy Families <a href="https://happyfamiliesfamilyeducation.activehosted.com/f/40">newsletter</a>

#891 The Perfection Trap with Thomas Curran (Part 1)

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